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cinonym Archive

View 0 posts and 84 comments by cinonym on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

I liked the bit about every ten being a five until she's qualified herself further. I'm more binary, so I'm going to alter that to every attractive girl being half a yes until she's also proves interesting.
/r/seduction18/10/13 03:18 PM
1

Read that in the voice of Ezio Alditore De Firenze.
/r/seduction18/10/13 03:14 PM
1

I think there is a line to be walked as far as wanting to be decent to another human being and protecting your own interests. I tend to listen and acknowledge and relate it to things I've endured, but I don't sugar coat things. Most people just want to feel heard, imo.
/r/seduction18/10/13 03:09 PM
1

What does that mean as far as when you're discussing your problems with them?
/r/seduction18/10/13 03:05 PM
3

The latter two do sound a bit more authoritative, to my ear. It seems like the difference between saying that something is reality, and something is what you perceive.
/r/seduction08/10/13 11:37 PM
3

On the other hand, he referenced that Wilde quote about (paraphrasing) everything in life being about sex -- except for sex, which is about power. Underwood (that loveable reptile) might think both are using it for power. Kind of a trivial point, but I loved the first season of that show. Fleshing this out a bit: I'd say that when we attempt to seduce somebody, what we are actually attempting to do is put them under our sway. It would seem to me that this is a ploy for power. I think the differe…
/r/seduction08/10/13 03:07 AM
5

Then you're just talking to people. Female people. I don't see anything immoral about that.
/r/seduction03/10/13 04:54 PM
1

You take action, they then sort themselves into one end of the spectrum or the other. (This is basically from Models.)
/r/seduction02/10/13 11:17 PM
1

The big part of it for her is in the telling of it. As long as you don't freak out and make her feel listened to, she'll feel closer to you. (Though whether that's romantic for her idk.)
/r/seduction29/09/13 01:51 PM
1

I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with your sense of humor, it just doesn't do it for every audience. If that bothers you, you'll just want to develop another gear, or else be a humorless bastard with all the unappreciative twits of the world.
/r/seduction29/09/13 01:35 PM
1

People, especially those who are very self-conscious or low self esteem, tend to magnify their shortcomings both in terms of personality and body image. Surely you've met very attractive girls who thought they were fat or ugly? That's you and your chin. The guy you posted won't be every girl's cup of tea, but he's nowhere near hideous, and if he was confident and willing to go after what he wants, then his chin wouldn't stop him from succeeding. Honestly, the bit about girls snorting with laught…
/r/seduction28/09/13 10:11 PM
2

Good job getting out there. Keep doing so. You'll probably want to drink less next time, if pulling women is your goal for the night.
/r/seduction28/09/13 12:56 PM
1

You still closed, and you learned things for next time. Texting her costs you nothing, so you might as well, but I'd send two messages without a positive response at most.
/r/seduction28/09/13 12:53 PM
4

Looks do matter. Anyone who says otherwise is lying. But they don't matter that much, except for in extreme cases. What is affecting you more is how focused on your own perceived shortcomings you are. If you think you can't succeed because of the way you look, guess what? You're right. Until you are able to think well of yourself, you'll have a very hard time acting in an attractive manner.
/r/seduction28/09/13 12:50 PM
6

Going out solo is as weird as you make it, though it's definitely intimidating at first. It sounds to me like you should avail yourself of all your opportunities and should be trying to make friends every bit as much as you are trying to hook up with women. Even if the people in your classes aren't attractive, if they're cool they'll be cool to have around, and they might even have friends of their own that you'd be into. Online dating doesn't take too much time, either, so it can't hurt. I'd sa…
/r/seduction27/09/13 09:44 PM
2

I think it's fine and agree that this was pretty well-executed as long as OP doesn't let it carry on for too long and move on to logistics. (And, actually, I forgot as I typed this that he did just that pretty early on.)
/r/seduction27/09/13 09:38 PM
1

Welcome and stuff. It sounds like your biggest problem might have to do with your views on and your expression of sexuality. No more mister nice guy is probably a good choice. If you do work in this area, remember that your ideas on it have two facets: your own sexuality, and female sexuality.
/r/seduction27/09/13 09:18 PM
4

She might have some something about Mary quality to her, but it's easy to draw broad inferences from limited data incorrectly. Basically, it might not be you. Still, there could be things you might do that cause men to take you a little for granted. Or maybe it's just the kind of men you inadvertently select for.
/r/seduction26/09/13 06:03 PM
3

Are you sure you're not building her up to be more than she is?
/r/seduction26/09/13 04:37 PM
3

The difference, as you seem to imply, is you. You have different desires, and act differently as a result. Apparently, your behavior in the latter situation is less attractive. Perhaps it is needy, or something along those lines.
/r/seduction26/09/13 03:05 PM
35

Interesting post. Imo, there's a pretty big difference between being friendzoned, and friend zoning someone else. It implies that you still have desires that are being frustrated, otherwise you'd just be friends. But, yeah, having hot women friends is great if you're not being an orbiter.
/r/seduction26/09/13 03:01 PM
2

This is good stuff, but I just wanted to say that merely approaching is plus one pretty much no matter how badly it goes. Keep it up, OP.
/r/seduction24/09/13 09:17 PM
1

I think empathy is beneficial in pickup because it increases your ability to relate. It's just over investment that needs to be avoided. Similarly,a strong sense of self worth is attractive. It need not approach narcissistic levels, though.
/r/seduction24/09/13 03:40 PM
5

I figured it was useful more because it conveyed how attracted you were, rather than a difficulty curve (though if you're anxious, this might be the same thing).
/r/seduction24/09/13 03:09 PM
1

Imo, it's often a question of the attraction you've built up, but at the same time getting flaked on by number closes happens pretty often. Multiple options help. As far as maintaining a positive mindset goes, outcome independence goes a long way, again with multiple options, and sometimes you just need to lick wounds (as long as it doesn't go on too long). As long as you keep going, though, good things are coming your way.
/r/seduction24/09/13 03:32 AM
1

It's nice that you had a lot of options and then chose to discard them in favor of something really amazing. Yes, nothing is guaranteed, but it sounds like a risk worth taking. Just make sure you don't lose yourself in the relationship.
/r/seduction24/09/13 12:46 AM
2

Sounds like she's not into it. It'd be pretty awesome to conquer a girl who friendzoned you in the past, but I think you're running the risk of mentally returning to the time you spent hung up on her. It does suck. Most of us have been through something like that, though, so don't beat yourself up about it. The effort didn't cost you anything, and now you get to move on to better things.
/r/seduction24/09/13 12:25 AM
1

Being able to always walk will give you power in any relationship. That doesn't mean you have to do so if you don't want to.
/r/seduction23/09/13 05:18 PM
6

Coming from a poker background, I tend to equate it with the idea of not being results oriented. A bet in a given spot might not work out, but as long as it was a positive expectation situation, you should not pass on it. To go further with the analogy, talking to women is basically always a freeroll, as you seldom are risking anything tangible.
/r/seduction23/09/13 05:13 PM
1

It sounds like there's something in your approach that selects for certain kinds of women. Was your experience or approach different in NYC?
/r/seduction19/09/13 01:47 AM
1

Just to add to his point, it seems that the reason that her being a model freaks you out might be that the occupation itself receives a lot of validation from outside sources, which would mean a lot to you if the things he quoted accurately portray your normal thought processes.
/r/seduction19/09/13 01:41 AM
1

Maybe she was manipulated by her last boyfriend. To me, it sounds like something along these lines was the case. Your behavior might have come off a little weird to some and flirty and fun to others, but it didn't sound like it warranted such a negative reaction on its own.
/r/seduction19/09/13 01:38 AM
2

IMO, you need to spend some time unpacking your baggage about communicating your desires, rejection and perhaps about sexuality in general (yours and that of women). That doesn't mean that that's all you should do -- self analysis without action is masturbation -- but awareness of your own emotional levers is very damn important.
/r/seduction19/09/13 01:33 AM
1

Maybe you could have done more, but I'll bet you came across as really sweet -- which, despite what's said/implied a lot, is a good thing as long as it's not your only thing. Either way, you did something, which is great. Congratulations, and keep it up man!
/r/seduction19/09/13 01:21 AM
1

Perhaps OP is ridiculously good looking and would have done worse had he been any of us, but it's pretty stupid to mentally underline the negative part of that statement. All of us would do infinitely better than he could have expected before he began taking action.
/r/seduction19/09/13 12:47 AM
2

You seem to have ran way too far with a minor point. I have an expectation of monogamy in my romantic relationships, sure. It applies to me as much as it does her. She's free to fail to live up to that expectation just as she's free to terminate the relationship.
/r/seduction15/09/13 09:06 PM
1

Haha yeah man, it's really easy to be dysmorphic about our perceived flaws. Improve the things you can and don't worry about what you can't. Once you connect with some people you shouldn't feel so out of place, so just focus on being fun and making overtures.
/r/seduction15/09/13 08:46 PM
0

You already said it. Worrying about it counterproductive. But it's okay and even good to say something honest and vulnerable like this sometimes.
/r/seduction15/09/13 08:34 PM
1

You're not betraying anything by going after somebody's girlfriend. What you are doing is risking a high level of drama. It's for that reason that I don't advise pursuing anything besides casual sex with taken women. I have other ethical qualms with doing so, but my ethics are my own. Oh, and I'd also have issues trusting a girl I helped cheat. OP, while it sounds like there might be something there with at least some of these girls, it also sounds like you're overthinking things. If you're sure…
/r/seduction15/09/13 08:30 PM
1

It might be that you're overthinking things. It's something I find difficult to avoid when I allow myself to become wrapped up in another. She might be pushing your limits, but her reasons for doing so can vary greatly. The girl I spoke of earlier occasionally tests me in a lot of little ways, but in her case it's because she seems to enjoy it when I am assertive about enforcing my boundaries. I suspect she just needs to know that I'm not weak to feel safe. I find it kind of annoying, but the th…
/r/seduction15/09/13 02:59 AM
1

I'm glad some of what I said hit the mark. Happy to help.
/r/seduction15/09/13 02:40 AM
2

If they're perceptive, faking it won't work, but that doesn't mean it's not a viable path for improvement. If you fake it, you're likely to score some points with some people at various times, and as long as you don't get too down on yourself when it goes poorly, this will help you to build genuine confidence in your ability to interact with others, and perhaps your general self-esteem as well.
/r/seduction15/09/13 12:52 AM
1

I'm also drawn to/attract emotionally scarred women, but I've actually had some pretty healthy relationships with a select few. Still, it's not a very promising demographic. I think the key part for me with this particular girl is that she's still engaged in her drama, which for me would mean I'd have to move on. If I liked her well enough I'd friendzone her, but there's no way I'd be willing to step into the line of fire again. You seem to have the option to break the pattern already, though. M…
/r/seduction15/09/13 12:49 AM
2

You have my empathy. I'm currently somewhat involved with a girl who shares some (but certainly not all -- and certainly she's bound to be a different person) of your interest's issues. I got a little out of my depth early on with her, but only because we connected very hard and very fast. The experience served to illustrate to me that while I'd thought that everything was pretty okay in my life, I was hungry for something that at least felt very meaningful. As a result, I found myself slipping …
/r/seduction15/09/13 12:39 AM
0

Trying to have fun yourself seems to be what works for me.
/r/seduction14/09/13 09:38 PM
1

You can go back to your comfort zone if you want. Everything will be just like you remember, and you'll never change. You're probably messing up a fair bit, but that's okay. Just try to fail better next time, and try not to focus on how bad it feels whenever you think you've fucked up (which, by the way, isn't as often as you think). This is the pain period, and the only way to overcome it is to endure it.
/r/seduction14/09/13 09:33 PM
6

You'd be losing $62.50 in expected value by taking the first option, true, but depending on how badly you need that money it could be the incorrect choice -- say, if you needed it to make rent or buy groceries. I'm not really making any point with this since I can't think of an analogous situation when it comes to hitting on women (maybe if you're the sort of person who literally has a breakdown when facing rejection). The inner nit in me just wanted the floor.
/r/seduction11/09/13 11:37 PM
1

It's probably a bad idea. If he was able to, these issues would still remain, and might even be exacerbated once the initial euphoria wore off. It might make for a better learning experience, I suppose, but only in the sense that our lessons are sometimes commensurate to the pain we endure.
/r/seduction02/09/13 01:31 AM
2

It happens, and it's natural to be embarrassed. You went for it, though. That is awesome, and is also the path to getting what you want.
/r/seduction02/08/13 12:13 AM
1

It would be authentic to ask her out again. It would be needy to go too over the top with the "I like you" stuff, though (but also perhaps authentic). In terms of the book, though, I think it would recommend you ask her out again but be ready to move on if she doesn't seem interested or treat you well. You'd tell her you like her if it's an honest expression of how you feel and not a ploy or bargaining chip to get her to come out or reciprocate or whatever. Again, my interpretation.
/r/seduction02/08/13 12:10 AM
3

It sounds like you mixed your messages when you didn't want to do anything and later changed your mind. Unless she was already really into you, you probably pretty much volunteered to be friendzoned. It's cool, though. You had an urge and you went for it. It didn't work out. It's nowhere near the end of the world. If other people think ill of you because you took a shot and failed, it's usually just their way of expressing their own insecurities. If they tell other people, anybody you're going t…
/r/seduction01/08/13 11:51 PM
2

Or else it agrees with their experiences so far. I mean, I agree with your main point, but it's hard not to draw broad conclusions from the limited sample sizes of our lives.
/r/seduction01/08/13 09:14 PM
1

If it's not too personal, why do you think therapy and the like haven't worked out for you? Not that I think that it's a magic bullet or anything, but a good therapist should be able to at least point you in the direction of positive, incremental change. As far as your experiences with pick up go, it sounds to me as though you've identified that you've made a lot of external progress (congratulations on that, btw!), but your lack of internal well being makes relating to women in a healthy manner…
/r/seduction01/08/13 08:38 PM
2

You're not implementing your standards and sound unhappy about fucking women you wouldn't want to date. It sounds like you feel as though you feel like what you're doing is manipulative and compromises your integrity. If so, you need to set some boundaries with yourself as far as what you're willing and unwilling to do to get laid and what you're willing to tolerate in a partner, and then maintain them. Incidentally, I find it unlikely that you're ever going to fall in love while evaluating wome…
/r/seduction01/08/13 02:27 AM
1

Basically, you need to define what you want in a guy. I don't mean things like personality or looks, as important as those things are, but more along the lines of interests (which could be as superficial as tastes in music or as deep as wanting to save the world -- which would lead you to concerts and venues or to volunteer organizations and activist events, say). Drilling things down this way will help increase your chances of meeting a guy who meets your criteria. You very well could meet grea…
/r/seduction01/08/13 02:15 AM
1

She probably was too. But, yeah, she sounds like she might be less than ideal if you're looking for gf material. Still, I could be biased, since I dated a very unstable girl for a while and your brief description reminded me of her.
/r/seduction30/07/13 03:32 AM
1

Not sure I catch the distinction. If people go there to meet people, then there are people there who want to be met, making it a good place to meet people, no? I'm not sure it's a good place, though. Haven't tried it really.
/r/seduction30/07/13 03:27 AM
2

Phrases like "80% of success is just showing up" and "KISS" are pretty cliched at this point. This doesn't make them any less useful.
/r/seduction28/07/13 05:00 AM
1

Reading some books (or music/films or whatever you're into) and going out and having fun experiences is self-improvement as well. You seem to think the problem is that you're not doing anything that interests you. As long as you know what those things are, though, the solution is pretty obvious.
/r/seduction26/07/13 01:11 AM
10

Then whisper softly, "I'm going to eat your eyes."
/r/seduction25/07/13 09:31 PM
1

Here are some things that have helped me become more confident: Meditation. It hasn't worked miracles for me the way some people say it does, but I do feel more centered on days when I've sat for a while. Excercise. You're probably doing this already, but if you're not there really are almost too many benefits to mention, many of which increase happiness and self esteem. I don't even go at it as hard as a lot of people do. Being social. Just talking to random-ass strangers on a consistent basis …
/r/seduction25/07/13 09:07 PM
1

You're bound to get rejected. Hopefully a lot (because that would mean you're approaching a lot), and more frequently in the beginning when you're more attached to the outcome. Eventually, though, you'll likely care a lot less about what other people think of you and just be comfortable expressing yourself. To me, inner game is just another way of saying emotional health. If you're incapable of being happy without a girlfriend, I'd really doubt that you'd be happy with one. Even if it were possi…
/r/seduction25/07/13 08:51 PM
1

I don't think an objective answer is possible, but how would you rate yourself?
/r/seduction24/07/13 09:56 PM
2

Just have fun. If you want to break it down strategically, do so during your downtime, or else risk looking like a weirdo and not enjoying yourself very much.
/r/seduction24/07/13 09:49 PM
3

You ninja simul-posted me. :)
/r/seduction24/07/13 09:12 PM
78

If we expect what OP has said to apply to all women at all times, then the information's probably going to do a lot more harm than good. As always, we shouldn't swallow this advice whole with no consideration. Still, it seems plausible that it'd apply to some women sometimes. If the info here at least convinces a few men that a woman might be interested and he approaches as a result, it'll have been beneficial even if he then proceeds to crash in slow motion. Perhaps not for the woman being awkw…
/r/seduction24/07/13 08:43 PM
2

I agree with you in principle, but a lot of people here seem to encounter boyfriends made up on the spot. It sounds like when you say it you mean it, and aren't likely to cheat. Sadly, that's not the case for all women. (Well, the cheating bit is sad, anyway.)
/r/seduction23/07/13 11:43 PM
2

Yeah, I think part of the reason self-confidence is touted as a panacea, apart from its inherent attractiveness, is that feeling like you're the shit really lets you get out of your own way.
/r/seduction23/07/13 01:36 AM
5

You could attempt to cold read (taking a guess that answers the question you would otherwise have asked). When you're wrong they'll usually answer the unspoken question, and it's pretty memorable when you're right. Some questions are okay, or even necessary. It's how you respond to the response that gives a conversation its momentum. For me, the trick is to find something in what they say that I can related to in some way, which gives me something to say about myself. If I can't find anything, o…
/r/seduction23/07/13 01:22 AM
6

Not to don mail and plate or anything, but it sounds like the problem isn't so much the advice being given as people's reaction to it. Ideally, I think we should all be considering and testing the various ideas we're either exposed to or think up ourselves, keeping what works and discarding the rest. Some people have more valuable things to say than others, but we still shouldn't confuse the source with the material. Even if you find the contribution to be warmed-over basic PUA theory, you'll co…
/r/seduction23/07/13 01:13 AM
2

I think you should move on. Maybe come back to it some other time, but one way or another it sounds like she's into games.
/r/seduction22/07/13 10:57 PM
1

You can't change your ages. You don't risk anything besides time and rejection, which is something you're going to need exposure to anyway. I say go for it. Just don't get too invested in the girl if it doesn't work out.
/r/seduction22/07/13 10:49 PM
3

I'd narrow it down a bit further. Do you find them particularly symmetrical? Perky? Are you more into the left or the right (assuming there's more than one)?
/r/seduction22/07/13 09:45 PM
1

It sounds like we have different goals. I'm in no rush to settle down or anything, but I tend to be inclined to let relationships run their course. When I'm happy with a girlfriend, I don't spend much time doubting the relationship until I become unhappy -- and then it ends.
/r/seduction22/07/13 08:19 PM
2

Of course. I tried to be particular with my language to indicate that we should take really any advice with a healthy dose of skepticism, but I'd say that even the most piscine women have valuable insight to give if we have the tools to interpret what they're saying/not saying. Of course, if we're that good we probably know too much already.
/r/seduction22/07/13 08:15 PM
2

In your shoes, I'd see how the relationship works out before worrying about it. Then again, in your shoes I wouldn't even be asking this question. Perhaps it's something you need to experience. You just need to weigh how important that is to you against how you feel about her. I don't think possible future regrets are very useful notions to entertain, though. If you choose to drop her to chase tail, you will regret it at certain moments. Same thing if you stay with her. I suppose as a last consi…
/r/seduction22/07/13 03:57 AM
1

It's a way, but I wouldn't say that it's a good way. In the case of free dating sites, you're not really risking anything besides time, so I'd say you should go ahead and do it. Just don't spend too much energy on it if there's something better you can be doing.
/r/seduction22/07/13 03:50 AM
7

Thanks for doing this writeup. I've always thought that when people say to disregard what women say, they're eschewing what's potentially a very valuable source of feedback. I think as long as we realize that we're not dealing with an even less objective party than usual, feedback from women can be exceedingly valuable. A lot of men will tell us what works, but your gender has a much better ability to explain the why of it all, when you choose to. Oh, also, you sound like a really cool person. T…
/r/seduction22/07/13 03:32 AM
2

Because you're invested in what might happen. Rejection does hurt -- at least to the degree that you care about the person rejecting you. Still, if you're worried about it and it prevents you from risking anything, all you've done is guarantee your own unhappiness. You've been rejected before, so when you stop in your tracks and don't approach, what you're probably doing is reliving the pain from those times. If you're going to have to endure those sort of feelings, you might as well approach. A…
/r/seduction20/07/13 07:48 PM
8

He should feel free to look like a douchebag without caring what others think. Fuck, maybe he is a douchebag at heart. Either way, worrying about what others think about something so trivial is a much bigger deal than looking dumb for a night.
/r/seduction17/07/13 01:00 AM
1

I think it's a case where you simply make no moves, don't behave deliberately flirtatiously, and let some time pass until your friendship is more firmly established. I imagine some women will feel rejected anyway, but if you've done nothing to mislead it's not your fault, and they'll either get over it or they won't. Honestly, this sounds like something some women cope with more frequently, and they might have better advice.
/r/seduction12/07/13 03:56 AM
1

Realistically, she might cheat on you. If she does it will hurt, but you will move on. Some anxiety is normal, but if it's affecting your behavior and mood you have some issues in need of addressing before you'll be able to be content, with or without a woman. (Although it may be that you'll be unable to address this anxiety without further exposer, idk.)
/r/seduction12/07/13 03:46 AM
-2

Nice writeup. Like many others, I don't agree with everything you've said, but I appreciate the effort you put into this post. If nothing else, you've thought more about this stuff than I even want to. I'd say that more than anything, the various disagreement serves to highlight that fashion is a very subjective issue. Myself, I figure that if we just dress the best we can within our own tastes, attitude will carry use the rest of the way. Oh, but shit should definitely fit.
/r/seduction09/07/13 11:30 PM
0

Read a counterpoint on The Atlantic the other day
/r/seduction09/07/13 11:10 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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