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cloudsongs_ Archive

View 3 posts and 791 comments by cloudsongs_ on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Companionship, love, affection, etc. Same reason anyone gets into a new relationship after the last one ends.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 10:31 PM
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This is a bad argument…you’re not entitled to affordable housing so you just won’t have housing? How is that the same as you’re not entitled to sex, so won’t have sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 10:03 PM
1

Young people don’t fall in love with proximity as a main driver? You’ve provided a very reasonable response to OPs question
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 02:59 AM
1

Good take! I see a lot of complaints about women wanting and choosing to be with richer men even with all these freedoms and I think something a lot of people don’t consider is that a lot of these women’s mothers or grandmothers had the mindset that you must marry someone of a higher status to have a good, stable life. More and more women these days don’t really need that stability from men but when you have that ingrained into you all your life from your family, you think that’s what you’re sup…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 06:24 PM
2

How about women can do what they want with themselves in terms of the relationship(s) they choose to be in? There isn’t a right way to do this
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 06:18 PM
1

Oh wow, if this is your view of family and friendship, I’m so sorry for your experiences. First, your longest relationship is with your sibling. Your parents will die before you and you probably will only meet your significant other after 2 or 3 decades. But assuming your sibling was born within a few years of you, your relationship may last your whole lifetime. Whether or not you’re both in relationships and have children etc., that is bond that will always exist unless one of you willingly bre…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 06:12 PM
1

If you want proof, just look at old people. People in nursing homes. People married for decades. Unless you’re rich, you’re not going to look like you did in your 20s when you’re in your 60s+. But why are these people still together? Why do old people in nursing homes fall in love or have sexual encounters?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 06:03 PM
1

My takeaway is that men NEED women to survive. I assume you’re a man. If it wasn’t for your mom, you wouldn’t even be here to write this insane post.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/23 03:54 AM
1

We offer one another enough and whatever we’re not receiving, we compromise. If the other can’t provide, you find solutions together. I don’t think it’s possible to end up with the perfect person (because you’ll grow older and change as people and have arguments, etc). You only have one life so find someone who most suits your values and life goals and stick with them as long as you both want to be around each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/23 03:50 AM
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Being persistent when the advance is not wanted or reciprocated. Saying something that makes others uncomfortable
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/23 03:43 AM
1

Like other people. Unattractive is so relative though because I don’t think I’ve ever been able to say someone is objectively ugly. But it doesn’t make sense to be mean to someone for their looks. How this attitude affects my dating life: when I was on dating apps, I used to read every single profile before swiping. Pictures are only part of the story. I want to know if there’s a common thread between me and the other person. If they didn’t write anything, I swiped left.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/23 03:41 AM
5

Not really. It’d be hypocritical if she got upset if her bf starting selling pics of himself
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/23 03:37 AM
1

Yes, because I prefer a picnic at the park over something extravagant.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/23 03:31 AM
0

Dating apps were honestly the best thing for me and I’m glad I had access. Though I do think it probably makes people unhappier. Life is too short to find the perfect person.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/23 03:30 AM
1

Reject and stay with ex. My relationship with my ex was doomed to fail but I wouldn’t have left him for my current bf just like that. I stopped dating for about 3 years after my breakup so I could work on myself and actually be prepared to be in a healthy relationship. My current BF would not have deserved the version of me that was with my ex.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/23 04:08 AM
1

Tbh any man or woman trying to tell anybody what they should or shouldn’t prefer is cringey and insecure. Now, I have my own thoughts about things like I think it’s gross for older men or women to prey on “adults” that are just barely out of their teens just because they look nice and “seem soooo mature.” But I don’t care if men want thinner, shorter, virgin, whatever women. You can have all the preferences you want but you might just have a harder time finding that person. One thing I learned f…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/22 02:24 AM
0

I don’t think so. You’d also be surprised what having a crush on someone or falling in love with someone can do to that person’s perception of the other person. Your skin is going to sag and wrinkle and you’ll become ugly in western society’s standards but the person in love with you will keep loving you and wouldn’t want to imagine a world without you
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/22 02:19 AM
5

I think you just mean humans are difficult to understand because the behaviors of individual humans aren’t the same with each sample or trial as it would be in rocket science or engineering. People aren’t a formula. I agree with you that it’s difficult and it’s one of things that takes a lifetime to learn and you may still never be a master at. But I do think you’re mistaking finding women being confusing to just people in general being confusing.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/22 02:16 AM
1

If you’re “dating down” it still means you’re in that person’s league.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 05:25 PM
1

There’s so such thing as dating above or below a league. If you can date that person, they are in your league.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 01:02 AM
1

Women in makeup tutorials tend to have a lot more products than most women because she’s trying to sell you these different products. I wear eyeliner to work and same as you, I’m grocery shopping, I wear tshirt and shorts. For work, if I can get away with wearing scrubs so that I can basically work all day in “pajamas” I will. I dress up only for events
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 04:22 PM
1

So…no. You don’t need social media to get dates and sex with women because that is not where they find you. Have at least one social media that you can add friends to with some pics (and obviously you can choose how much person info about yourself you want on there) because women are going to be looking at that social media to make sure you’re not a creeper. They want to see that you have friends and that you’re not using some fake account to kidnap her or whatever. Instagram is probably the bes…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 04:11 PM
1

I haven’t actually romantically liked a lot of men. I don’t know why but I didn’t crush on people very much. during grad school I liked a guy who I didn’t find attractive because he was smart, had a similar family background as me and so I felt like we understood why the other person was they way they were, and we had differences in opinions that were fun to talk about. It didn’t go anywhere because he felt me up when I was drunk and I was not consenting to it and his personality otherwise wasn’…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 04:06 PM
1

No one is to blame. And it depends what you define as transactional. Money? Sure. But requiring you to be a nice person to get sex, maybe not? But I guess that depends on your definition
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 03:21 PM
4

Sounds like you ended up with someone who made you unhappy and isn’t doing their fair share. That sucks, sorry.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 03:19 PM
1

How does one know where they are in the hierarchy? It’s so subjective. I can say I’m at the top of the hierarchy because I’m content with all things that go into this very subjective hierarchy
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 10:28 PM
1

In this scenario, is she being a creep? Were we assuming the guy she was after to be in a relationship with was telling her to leave him alone and that he’s not interested in seeing her in any capacity but she willfully ignored him and continued to pursue him? Like a creep? Then in that scenario she’s a creep.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 10:21 PM
1

If your wife is a 100/10 for you, then why does any of rating or “comparing like with like” matter? She’s amazing and wonderful and beautiful to you so why does it matter that she matches your level of anything? The important thing is she chose to be with you and you chose to be with her no matter what her actual comparison to you is.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 04:49 PM
2

I’m not saying it’s the same but they CAN be the same. If a woman wants an attractive guy to have sex with or an attractive guy to have a real with, I don’t understand the issue with her trying. If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out. Why does it matter if she keeps trying?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 04:46 PM
3

It’s just being human. People make mistakes and people like to vent when things don’t go out way. Just like you want women to change their behavior, women are wanting the guy they like to change their behavior too. When it doesn’t work out -> complain. Isn’t that what a majority of this sub is? I’m sure there are guys out there like that. And you’re right, sometimes you learn the hard way that some things don’t work out. Some people learn by doing rather than having other people tell them what t…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 12:43 AM
2

Why not? If she wants an attractive guy and an attractive guy wants her, what’s the problem with that? And if we’re talking about entitlement, why do you feel you’re entitled to someone like her? Just because you think you have the same level of attractiveness?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 12:37 AM
3

So what? Women want to be with an attractive guy and potentially have a relationship with them because they meet whatever criteria they’re looking for in a partner. Doesn’t make her a bad person. And doesn’t make the attractive guy a bad person just because she wants him more than you or anyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 12:30 AM
1

A 7 by YOUR standards. There are 7 billion people on this plan. For a good portion, she might be a 10/10 to them and be “worth” a lot more than what she’d be “worth” by your standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 12:27 AM
1

Ok so your wife has great self esteem and considered herself a 10/10 in the looks department (and trust me plenty of women who don’t fit the western standard of beauty will have the self confidence to rate themselves that way). What then?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 10:51 PM
1

So only your ranking counts in your relationship? It doesn’t matter if she has great self-esteem and considers herself beautiful/hot/sexy even if it doesn’t meet your standards of a 10?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 09:10 PM
2

I didn’t see what your picture. It was asking me to log into IG or something. But anyway that girl is pretty cute so idk what you mean “someone who looks like this”
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 09:08 PM
3

Are they really keeping their head in the clouds if they manage to have sex with men that they consider attractive? Looks like they did alright to me if they could do that…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 09:06 PM
1

But what if your wife says she’s a 9 compared to Angelina Jolie and that you’re a 5 compared to Brad Pitt? Who is right? If she determines that is how she compares, you two shouldn’t be together?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 09:04 PM
1

Okay. But how do you make comparisons to female beauty versus male beauty? Wouldn’t that also be impacted by self-esteem?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 05:29 PM
2

How do you objectively rate appearance?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 02:09 PM
2

Have you been attracted to someone because you thought they were funny or you admired their confidence or creativity? Appearance is an initial thing to draw in a person but you can’t keep a person around with a nasty personality, with no goals or aspirations.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 02:08 PM
4

But if they manage to get a guy that’s super attractive to them, that guy is not “out of their league” anymore. You don’t HAVE to lower your standards because other people tell you to. This may or may not work out for you but you don’t have to do what the internet is telling you to do. If your dream girl is a hot girl with the same values as you, you’ll just have to keep looking until you find her and she happens to find you a good match too. Not saying it’s easy but if that’s the type of girl y…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 02:04 PM
4

True!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 10:25 PM
2

What does that even mean? How do you match up attractiveness between men and women?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 10:24 PM
36

Well said. I don’t understand the need to “match” people up. Just date whoever you can date. Who cares if they’re hotter/uglier/whatever. If two people like each other and want to be together, that should be enough
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 10:24 PM
13

I think women don’t want to be told who they should date. If I want to date a super hot guy, I’m going to try. I might fail but who knows, I might also succeed. Date whoever you want - you don’t have to date “in your league” whatever that even means.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 10:22 PM
2

I really agree with your comment. Looks fade but personality and values are hard to change
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 10:19 PM
6

It’s scary to commit to a relationship but definitely has a lot of rewards. But being single is also a peaceful and decent way to live.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 10:16 PM
2

Do you have personal experience of this? Or are you getting this from Reddit stories?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 10:15 PM
1

I feel for the guy. It’s not a fun thing to hear about your ex’s past but aside from the meaner comments, I agree with the comments. How is it her fault that he’s jealous of a guy he doesn’t even know? It sounds insecure and that’s okay - he just needs to talk to her about how that interaction made him feel and what he’s looking for in their sex life. Sex for fun and sex for starting a relationship are a bit different until you get into a relationship and you can just have sex for fun with your …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 10:14 PM
1

Maybe some people think like this? Men are human beings too. They go through stresses, crisis’, and hardships just as women do. I personally appreciate when my boyfriend shares his struggles because more often than not, I’ve experienced something similar and can offer the outcome I had or what alternative options he can take. It allows two minds to solve a problem rather than him shouldering the burden of his own troubles as well as whatever I share with him. Men: be vulnerable! If the woman you…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 08:54 PM
1

I’m going to be honest, if a guy did that (whether he was gorgeous or not), I would probably think something fishy was going on. I would most likely assume he’s going to kidnap me or traffic me or whatever. The only time I’d be okay with in person approaches is if it was with a friend and we were meeting one another’s friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 08:50 PM
3

Also women can just take care of themselves too. So they’re not really screwed because a guy doesn’t want to offer her resources. It’s 2022
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 08:48 PM
8

Yes there is. I am my boyfriend’s first girlfriend and he is also somewhere on the spectrum. Rather than being coy or keeping him guessing, I just told him outright that I liked him or that I’d like him to kiss me, etc. I’m pretty shy and wouldn’t normally be able to say things like that outright but I liked him a lot as a potential boyfriend and as a human being. We’re in our late 20s btw. It’s not hopeless for you. When you go on your next date, politely say what you feel. “I had a really wond…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 08:45 PM
1

If they’re consenting to an open marriage/relationship, why not? If not, they should seek counseling or split up. This is not a problem I have now but if my partner felt this way strongly in the future for whatever reason, I’d rather split as a romantic couple than be disrespected like that. I’ll just stay single until I find a guy who doesn’t feel that way
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 08:40 PM
1

My boyfriend is interested in the idea since he’s a lot more outwardly compassionate and loving than I am. He’s also stoic whereas I don’t think I could deal with the stress of uncontrollable children all day. But I’m sure he would also prefer working at least part time so that we can both retire early
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 08:35 PM
3

No one can ever be yours. Even your parents will die and leave you on this earth. To answer your question: yes, at the beginning of my relationship, I did think that my boyfriend could find someone who has done the therapy and work to be where he is mentally/emotionally. But that insecurity has passed because I’ve completely convinced that man loves me. More than I thought I was capable of being loved. But I will always be aware that I could lose him in some way or another: whether it’s to anoth…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 08:33 PM
1

I mean so would I. If a guy has the courage to politely ask me on a date, I'm going to at least give him a chance if I'm not in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 02:47 AM
1

There's no age that it's "weird." It might be considered less common but it's not weird. If anyone makes you or anyone else feel about that, they are not a Good person. If I was in my 30s or 40s and I met a guy who never had sex, I'd probably want to know more about his background. Sometimes things just happen. My boyfriend lost a parent as a teenager and he spiraled into depression. It took him 13 years to overcome that and become the man he is today. I'm his first girlfriend. And that's seriou…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 02:37 AM
1

I mean so are men? You're telling me if you saw a 300 lb woman you'd ask her out? Maybe some guy would but would you? Just like there might be a 300 lb guy out there that I would never ask out but some woman might.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 02:33 AM
0

"I'm going to challenge the assertion that men only want sex...but I'm also going to assert that women only want sex from hot guys." Do you hear yourself? Idk if you consider yourself an average guy but I don't think you are. How could a woman have a fulfilling relationship with you when these are the kind of things you think about and write on the Internet? Every guy a woman chooses over you in your eyes are going to be hotter or better in some way because of your own security but you will find…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 02:22 AM
1

I'm sure some guys are like that but having money, a good career, exercising is pretty fulfilling in itself. I mean I think my boyfriend thinks it's really nice having his bills paid and still having money left over for fun. And he's certainly not doing that to impress me. But you're right: do the things you want to do to impress yourself, not other people. If having a good career, money, healthy body impressed you and improves your self esteem and confidence, people will just be drawn in on the…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 04:26 PM
1

That's awesome. Maintaining independence while in a relationship is extremely important and healthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 03:36 PM
1

Oh interesting. I haven't heard of dyspraxia before. What sort of things do you like to do whether or not it's what neurotypical people do? Or what would you like to do that you're not doing now?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 03:35 PM
1

Honestly, a very good point lol. My career is fulfilling but I think I could have found an equally fulfilling job without grad school haha and have plenty of money to travel
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 03:31 PM
1

What kind of plants? I've been starting with the "hard to kill" plants like peace lilly and snake plant but I recently got a goldfish plant
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 02:32 PM
1

That's awesome That's what I'd like my future to look like after school.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 02:30 PM
1

You don't have anything you like to do?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 02:28 PM
1

Is there any reason you don't?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 02:27 PM
1

That's good! I think a lot of us could be more secure in just being
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 01:23 PM
0

You're right. It basically is all meaningless. But we're only here for a short time so might as well find ways to make it a good time.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 01:22 PM
1

That could be it too. I have heard some women online say they see the guy purchasing food/drinks for the first date is a sign that he's "investing" in the relationship but I don't really agree with it Any guy can spare $15-$20 for a date but it doesn't mean he's taking her seriously. But I think because my own experiences include being the first date for a lot of guys I assume they learned it from their parents/family/friends. But I've also had many instances where I show up a few minutes before…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 01:20 PM
1

Wow 4 vacations a year? What kind of places do you go?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 01:11 PM
2

I agree with you. I'm probably not at that point with my partner but I think once someone has been stitched into your life, it won't be the same if they're gone. Something I try to visualize often is if I lost something that I love or value very much (my possessions, my partner, my career). Because acutely it would feel devastating. But I think visualizing it every now and then when things are safe and good is a good reminder that it can be gone one day but that you can still survive it in the e…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 01:11 PM
1

What kind of hobbies do you have?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 01:05 PM
1

I think it's quite common in young people both men and women. But if you have security in your family, friendships, hobbies, you date because you want someone to supplement your life. If you do not have a fulfilling life, you find someone because you want them to complete you which can become unhealthy
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 03:22 AM
2

Is that true? I wonder if many men report that they have been scammed in a romance scam?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 03:20 AM
0

Nice guy: thinks that doing something nice for someone entitles them to favors, relationship, etc. Good guy: does nice things because he wants to see the other person happy, healthy, or successful.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 03:19 AM
1

I think it's because if a man I didn't know cat called me, kept trying to talk to me or touch me, I would be scared that he will hurt me in some way if I am not interested. I don't have that fear with women. I don't know if that's the reason lesbian women are more successful (if they even are?) But that's my guess
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 03:17 AM
2

Not really. It's just interesting. Like if a celebrity gets a nose job, it's more like recognizing that she looked good before but she looks pretty good with the nose job too. I'm not going to call her "artificial" because that's just how she looks now and she looks good. Doesn't mean I need to look like her though.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 03:03 AM
1

I'm not sure. I haven't been in a relationship where sex was off the table. If I can touch them sexually, or romantically I'd be fine with it. But if it was completely truly off the table, then no. I don't let many people touch me because I really hate it but I like being touched by my partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 03:01 AM
2

That's a good point. The thoughts and perspectives from people are enough to make them interesting or worth something (even if you disagree with them). If you think you partner does not bring you anything more than sex, you don't really have a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 02:58 AM
7

I love the dedicated time. I think my boyfriend and I need to incorporate this into our relationship because we tend to end the day by watching an episode of something before getting ready for bed. And 100% agree with respectful disagreements. Whenever my boyfriend and I disagree, we just say, "I hear you" rather than saying "you're wrong" because clearly the other person believes they're right and ultimately you have to let them figure out their own viewpoint and see whether yours is something …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 02:56 AM
1

Be friends. This encompasses a lot of things but I guess think about what makes your friendships last. You have good communication, you're able to talk about things very openly with one another and not take major offense if they give you constructive criticism. Be able to laugh, goof off and enjoy each other's companies Be nice. Be respectful and loving to your partner. Find out their love language and share yours. Ensure that you're doing your part to make them feel loved Align your goals. If y…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 02:53 AM
5

I always insist on paying for my food on the first date because I don't want to feel like I owe the guy anything because he paid. But most of the dates I go on, the guy continues to insist even though I make it very clear that I won't be offended if he's not paying. My parents raised me to be equal in all things but I think the guys I've dated were taught that being a gentleman means to provide in all ways when it's really unnecessary in this day and age
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 02:48 AM
1

I feel like I don't get a ton of attention IRL but I'm very shy, quiet and awkward. I don't really like getting attention in the first place so it makes sense why I wouldn't get any male attention too
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 04:29 AM
2

Not just women. Men do this too. There's a book about attachment styles that another comment mentioned. It shines a light on the type of relationships that would be best for you and what to look out for behavior-wise
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 04:27 AM
1

That's awesome. Is it 2 separate classes or do they just address both depending on the week? I'm doing a trial class for kickboxing next week. Totally outside my comfort zone (I'm more into art and baking like you're about to do lol).
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 04:25 AM
2

Partner for life. I want to grow old with someone who I can love, share my life, accomplishments, defeats, etc with + have sex with someone I trust.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 04:23 AM
1

I'd probably want to know the rules of the fight tbh. Is his opponent allowed to punch him like that? (My boyfriend is into this stuff but prefers for me to not watch him practice because he DOES get his ass kicked). But my opinion of him wouldn't change. He chose to do this type of sport or whatever to better himself physically and mentally. Part of doing that is to understand that "defeat" is inevitable and you learn from it for next time. If he asked me to cuddle him, I would and tell him I'd…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 04:20 AM
1

Maybe? I don't know if most women do. Who cares? Do most men engage in casual sex? Who cares? Casual sex is casual. You're not trying to get to know the person on a deep and spiritual level or anything. So, yes casual sex usually happens with people are good looking or have showcased something interesting about themselves. I don't think this is true. Especially not in this day and age. Not everyone has the same "scale" for attractiveness. Only thing I can say is to not really take this stuff too…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 04:17 AM
1

Realistic. I'm not intimidated by a guy who works out 21 hrs a week if that's his interest. As long as he doesn't expect the same of me because 150 mins a week is my limit lol. If he says 21 hrs and we meet and he's chubby, I just wouldn't think he's a very efficient person.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 04:12 AM
1

No because I think my parents would have beaten me more if I was a man. But, if that was not a deciding factor, then sure I wouldn't mind. I would've been pretty jacked and had a great head of hair and nice thick facial hair and probably had an easier time exploring careers outside of the one I'm in now so it would have been fine if I was born a guy. I want kids anyway so I would love to have them opportunity to have biologic children without putting my body through hell for 9+ months potentiall…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 04:09 AM
1

My previous comment, I have rephrased.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/22 12:47 PM
4

Not really! I've dated guys that look different across the board (1 that was shorter than me, 1 that was lean (not skinny) and hairless, 1 that you described above). Not into dad bods - it makes me think he drinks too much alcohol or doesn't exercise (unless there's something about him otherwise..like if he was previously obese, lost a ton, and still has some lingering weight that hasn't come off). I'm currently dating someone that I initially wouldn't have been into and described above (superhe…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 10:34 PM
1

Aw, those are really good examples! :)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 09:53 PM
1

Yeah. I would want to know what led to the separation/divorce and if he's worked through it yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 09:51 PM
–

Uh...you were willing to purposefully make women uncomfortable and unsafe because you're bothered by how many partners she's had. Not a good 1:1 comparison, dude. Just don't date women with multiple partners?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 09:49 PM
3

You're right that looks don't matter because everyone has different preferences. (For ex. I would never date men that look like those superhero actors from marvel even though they are conventionally attractive) But I also don't think you'd permanently find your partner "unattractive" or "flawed". When you come to love someone for their personality, whatever flaw you may have perceived at the beginning fades and they become beautiful to you. This has been my experience anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 09:48 PM
1

Carefully listen to what he says.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 09:42 PM
17

Your last statement is a really good point. He could have messaged 100s of women before he found the ones he scammed.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 09:40 PM
1

If she would have hooked up with you, I don't think she would have viewed it as rewarding you. In my experience, I'm looking to fulfill my needs first.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 09:37 PM
1

Nope. I don't really become curious about what made one person choose the other unless one of them chose to share. I feel like feeling attraction to another person's partner is a major neon sign of insecurity in your part.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/21 08:38 PM
1

I personally am uncomfortable with it and asked my boyfriend not to. Whether or not he does it behind my back is up to him but I've created my boundaries. I don't have any thoughts about other couples who are okay with it because everyone has different levels of comfort on this topic.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/21 06:38 PM
1

I want a life partner with commitment to one another. I don't want my best friend to go sleep with other people while having sex with me. It puts me in vulnerable position physically and emotionally. I don't necessarily believe in having to get married (but hey whatever tax perks) but it is important for me to be in a committed relationship because it ensures that we are committed to taking care of one another
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 02:13 AM
1

Immediately. And if I don't find him attractive during the first meeting but find his personality to be my type, it'll be after getting to know him
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 02:10 AM
1

I think I've given my best sex to every partner I've been with. Whether the other person perceived it as "best sex" is on them. I've always only dated or hooked up with people who I've liked and found attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 02:10 AM
2

Imagination and erotica.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 02:08 AM
2

Not super common. I can only think of 3 people but it was for a short period of time. 1 is continuing. 1 stopped because she's not into it. 1 entered a serious relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 02:07 AM
2

Idk how to put it on a scale but working out not only gives you a better body, it makes you look and act with more confidence (maybe because you actually like your body now). It also shows that you care about your body
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 02:05 AM
8

This is a reach. If women have kids, who is going to have the time and money to take care of them? Most households cannot afford to have a parent stay home. The world is also in pretty shitty condition (maybe it always has been) - I don't see many people wanting to have children when the future of the planet is so uncertain.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 02:03 AM
1

If that's the vibe you're getting, either leave that sub or just read and scroll. If you ask or comment anything that remotely seems misogynistic, it will be a less pleasant experience
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 11:34 AM
2

I highly suggest you scroll through and read posts/comments in r/askwomen or r/twoxchromosomes This subreddit is not going to help you understand other human beings, and especially not women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 08:29 PM
1

I don't think I'd really care that much. As long as we have the same values towards sex and relationships at the moment we begin our relationship, I don't think it would matter (unless there is some trauma they need to work out from these previous relationships)
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 07:49 PM
1

Her post does say to have safe sex so hopefully STIs are not part of that equation :)
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 07:41 PM
1

Is there a problem with that?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 07:40 PM
1

It's okay that she posted it. It is not for everyone but some people DO want to explore that side of life and maybe that is what they needed to see to go for it. "Be a slut" means what? Having lots of consensual sex? That sounds pretty good, especially if that's what you want. Make/watch porn is the only thing I wouldn't encourage as I think porn is very damaging to the user and to the creator (especially if it is not independently made). Erotica and imagination is imo the best. But totally agre…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 07:39 PM
1

Sex is not a need, it is a want.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 07:34 PM
3

Are you talking about women in America? Or women everywhere? This is true for maybe some women but this is a very broad generalization that is absolutely untrue. I wish you could experience some time as a woman - maybe you can read about women's experiences on a different subreddit because what you have written is not the case at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 07:33 PM
1

I don't think there's a limit. My boyfriend's mom is 60 and she started dating her boyfriend at age 57. His grandfather (age 95) remarried at age 90. One of my classmates (30) married his first girlfriend last year (after 2 years of dating), and another classmate (25f) married her first time boyfriend (27) (I think she is also his first girlfriend) this year. I've seen quite a few posts on twoxchromosomes or r/askwomen about first-time daters in their 30s+ (men and women). But all of the example…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 11:15 PM
1

Let's just say men and women both have a difficult time. Finding the right person for you is not easy and may take time and some work.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 11:09 PM
1

Lesson #3 would have automatically made me swipe left tbh. His looks wouldn't get me past that. Lesson # 4 is also mehhh But the rest is pretty decent (but generic) advice :)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 11:05 PM
2

Internet, ease of access. There is also easy access to escalating genres of porn. I'm sure some people here remember almost or actually having an orgasm from just looking at boobs - if you regularly use porn, you probably can't get off of just that anymore. Erotic literature + your imagination is imo the best
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 11:01 PM
3

This is a good answer! Lack of trust + broad generalizations + lack of empathy/understanding of struggles the opposite sex has
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 10:58 PM
1

3 years. I felt sad about it a lot since a lot of people I knew were getting into relationships and I felt "left out." At the time, it REALLY sucked but I'm glad I wasn't able to get into a relationship during that time. I really needed the time to become a better person
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 10:56 PM
1

The #1 killer of men is loneliness due to other men (essentially patriarchy) telling them they should not express their emotions in a healthy way. If you look around there are plenty of women who are in successful partnerships so clearly all women do NOT want casual sex. You have not found truth - you have only veiled yourself in more dishonesty to justify your anger and sadness.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 12:47 PM
1

Honestly, does it matter? Do you think you thinking or "knowing" hypergamy existing has helped you at all? Are you happy now that you "know"? Did it help you find a relationship that you're happy with?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 12:40 PM
1

Yep, and I don't mind being called an asshole by garbage
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 11:47 AM
3

I was with you on the title but a bunch of the text was a mess. I'm not going to choose a guy I'm NOT attracted to just because he offers me security. The goal is to be with someone you find attractive + share values with. Best of both worlds.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 09:53 PM
2

Honestly, same reason my boyfriend wants to marry me. Neither of us mind being "bound" to one another. We want a house, family, potentially a farm together, grow old together, tax benefits. I'd say the only downside is divorce but we could just discuss prenups
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 09:50 PM
1

I think it's garbage and it's exactly what I think it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 09:48 PM
2

mental health issues (I sure have them but as long as have growth mindset on improving, that's the most important) impulsive? (sometimes this can mean decisive, whereas I spend a lot of time before making decisions and sometimes it's important to have someone who will make the decision, even if it's not your first choice) appearance. I love my boyfriend too much that I don't think I would care very much if he went bald or lost his teeth or whatever extreme thing hapoe6ns (hopefully we can get hi…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 09:45 PM
13

Spouses and partners can die. Breakups happen. If you base your happiness on being with someone, it will be a terriblly sad life no matter how long you're with the person.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 09:41 PM
1

It's not good or bad...you're putting a value judgment based on your anecdotal experiences. I know two women who have slept with 30 plus men and one is about to get married. I don't think I'm going to be changing your mind based on my own experience. It also is extremely reductive to say "women should do this and that" based on a single hormone
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 04:27 PM
1

Have you considered that humans are also very jealous of one another and might not have anything to do with oxytocin? If you start sleeping with other women while you're in a relationship, she's not going to be blaming you for having less oxytocin. Also, why are you blaming women in this? You haven't mentioned once about how men's oxytocin is impacted by sleeping around? if that's not a factor, then who cares if women's oxytocin is decreased? There's another half of the equation.... Plenty of wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 04:04 PM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/pev426/women_do_not_pair_bond_thats_sexist_pseudoscience/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share You might find this post/threads interesting
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 11:25 AM
1

You don't have to debate HIV meds. They work pretty well. (Let me know if you need research articles). They have suppressive meds for herpes as well. (Look up Valtrex) Sex education would work if we actually had a decent one. There are still men out there who "double bag" it thinking it's twice as effective as 1 condom, some men wear it inside out, some women take a plan B every day instead of daily oral contraceptives - they're trying to be smart but never got the education to do it right. You …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 12:14 AM
1

I haven't! But I also don't think I would buy it either since I'm okay with crushing it myself
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/21 10:46 PM
2

Haha probably. It's not something I'd ever buy but again, it's his money and he can do whatever he wants with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 03:56 PM
1

No one HAS to impress me. In fact, if they have to try, they're probably not that impressive to begin with.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 03:44 PM
3

We arbitrarily chose 18. There are countries where you're an adult at age 14. So if you're legally an adult at 14, is it suddenly ok to date a 50 year old man? No and it isn't at age 18 either. It's suspicious and predatory of much older people to want to date people that young. They don't even want to date someone who is 26/27? Verry suspicious they want to date someone younger than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 01:23 PM
2

My understanding is that everyone shits on women's sexuality. Everybody is ready to shame women.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 01:20 PM
1

I guess I'd be a little confused. I'm not the only person in the world with my personality and income. And I'm certainly only dating someone who I feel is the best for me..so just confused. I think it would bruise my ego though.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 01:17 PM
4

I didn't say it's not a lot, but that's not something that impresses me about someone. It doesn't automatically make someone datable
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 12:42 PM
6

Why should I be impressed by how much someone makes?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 12:41 PM
5

This is a good point... I've had exes that were generally nice but will say or do something more than once that disgusts me to a point that it lingers.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 03:22 AM
2

It may be a side effect of hormonal oral contraceptives but there's no proof. So, doesn't really confirm anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 03:21 AM
2

1) Friends. Inevitably, the topic of "do you like anyone?" will come up. I didn't have a lot of crushes during middle/high school but we would talk about it, get excited if we saw our friend talk to the guy she liked, etc. 2) Social events. Dances, games, maybe parties. You meet people and become friends and then maybe more. 3) Extracurriculars/clubs. Volunteering by doing fun things - you get to know people in an environment outside of school.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 03:18 AM
10

Also even if a guy makes $120k, it's not necessarily that impressive. I dated a guy who made that much but it bothered me a lot the way he spent it (I mean, it's his money, he can do whatever he wants with it) like when we followed a recipe, he would never substitute the expensive ingredients like I normally would, buy random things like a garlic press when he could just use the back of his knife, buy expensive records but still play the same music on spotify instead of using his record player..…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 03:12 AM
1

It won't impact the dating market. Websites close all the time. A new one will start or the users/content creators will move to another platform.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 03:04 AM
3

I used to worry about that too but I also think that they chose me or you over anyone else they could have (and we chose them back).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 03:03 AM
1

1) For STDs, the solution doesn't have to be "stop having sex." We could just provide better sex education to kids so that they know what options are available to them. Not an easy solution but it's the best solution. You won't stop people from having sex. Besides HIV meds are so good now that most people die from other comorbid conditions before the HIV does. People have pretty normal lives. 2) Pair bonding is something that exists between human friends too. And most people have more than 1 fri…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 07:46 PM
1

So just have children when they're older and want children. I'm not sure how enjoying sex and wanting to have sex with people who want to have sex with you would impact that (unless you got an STD from poor protection but even then it's possible).
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 03:48 PM
1

Your other comments are the statements I'm talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/21 02:25 AM
1

Whatever makes you feel better, man. I suppose you think these women are undesirable because they don't want you IRL or online? 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/21 12:52 AM
1

Btw scorning the act does not make you a stoic. Stoics do not judge others for making decisions that they consider "poor" because have you not made a mistake before? And becoming stoic to attract partners may not bring you eudamonia because you're still "stressing" about achieving something and potentially setting yourself up to become upset when it doesn't work out. But otherwise, you only have 1 life - why spend the rest of it feeling upset about what you don't have?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/21 12:47 AM
1

If they're like humans mentally, no. Because if they think like humans, they're going to want the best for themselves too (and most likely that'll just be other robots). So back to square one.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/21 12:43 AM
1

I'd encourage and foster communication skills and developing emotional intelligence/self-reflection as early as I can. I'd advice them to find someone who they think is truly virtuous and would grow with them rather than remain stagnant.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/21 12:41 AM
12

Are you really making a statement about an entire country based on a 20 minute video? And you're lecturing people about reality?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/21 12:39 AM
1

Times are changing
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/21 02:56 PM
6

Please go and re-read my comments. I'm not sure how you have come to this conclusion from my comments. Neither are attractive or unattractive. I want my boyfriend to feel emotions. I'm dating a human, not psychopath or robot. Also depressed - we're getting into the territory of mental health, not emotional expression.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/21 03:25 AM
1

Women and their bodies have also been romanticized more so we all were raised to see women and beauty hand in hand. Also speak for yourself haha! I've had more than a few moments where I wished Bretman was a straight dude and pretend I had a chance lol
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/21 03:23 AM
13

I don't know what your experiences are but I'm not planning on abandoning my boyfriend just because he's emotional. I've dated someone much longer than him who was even MORE emotional than him and the only reason that ended was because of distance. Also...why should my boyfriend crying arouse me? It doesn't arouse him if I cry. Dating someone doesn't mean 100% arousal 100% of the time. That's not reality. That's not even a good fantasy tbh. I don't lose respect for him for crying at all - in fac…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/21 02:02 AM
2

Probably because of how we were raised and what society has told us about what is "ok" for female promiscuity (which is essentially: don't be).
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/21 01:13 AM
0

Lol this is what I was thinking! The sex is definitely bad if one person is just lying there like a corpse with no response.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/21 01:11 AM
1

Educated, kind and virtuous man. He doesn't have to be my definition of handsome because my daughter will have her own definition. And I will hopefully raise my daughter to be self-sufficient so his salary shouldn't really be an issue as long as he can sustain himself.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/21 01:08 AM
1

I feel so sad for you. You get motherly love from your mother, sisterly love from your sister, and love from your partner. When my mother dies, I will also lose my source of motherly love but my sister will hopefully still love me then and so will my friends and partner. Surround yourself with more people, that's how you will be loved.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/21 01:07 AM
1

OP, I feel the same as you. I think a lot of people here think high value means handsome and rich but handsome is so subjective and rich in money doesn't always mean rich in virtue. High value to me is the person I fall in love with because clearly I felt that this was the best person for me to be with.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/21 01:05 AM
1

Honestly, best thing to do is unsub and communicate with your partner. These posts don't really help you come to proper conclusions. Each person is different and each person came to their conclusions based on personal experiences + finding information that confirmed their beliefs.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/21 01:02 AM
14

Are you saying you'd accept a whining girl who expects you to be their mother? I don't think so. And if showing weaknesses is crying or being vulnerable, I'm not intimidated or turned off by it. A relationship is a partnership. I want my life partner to feel like he CAN be weak and vulnerable sometimes because I'm there to support him, just like I'd expect him to support me when I'm feeling that way. I don't think any relationship where one person or the other is /constantly/ needy is healthy - …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/21 01:00 AM
3

Both in our mid-twenties and 1 year together.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/21 12:45 AM
1

I don't have a problem with dating other than people not being genuine about their intentions. I'm in a relationship to have a life partner/friend + someone to build a family with.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/21 12:39 AM
1

Just because these options are available to women doesn't mean you can't use them. So many guys in college are using makeup (like concealers) for acne coverage + manicure/pedicures + nice haircuts + better fitting clothes. And you used James Charles as an example but if you look at Manny MUA and Bretman Rock (especially Bretman Rock), those guys look amazing with makeup on. But you can clearly see these men take care of their skin and hair.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/21 12:37 AM
2

It's almost like they're hurling all these insults right into the mirror 🙂
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/21 12:32 AM
2

You nailed it :(
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/21 12:31 AM
1

Why have children if you don't want to? Enjoy the pleasures of sex without the displeasure of caring for children (especially if you're not wanting children in the first place). Besides, there are too many people on this planet, we don't really need to promote creating a nuclear family to pump out more kids anyway. This is not to shame anyone who wants a nuclear family because I want that for myself too. But maybe just don't date people who don't share your values?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/21 12:30 AM
4

Ever consider that she's calling herself a strong, independent woman because she DOESN'T care about what's a turn off for men?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/21 12:27 AM
14

Not really. My boyfriend is an emotional guy and I appreciate that a lot. It makes it easier for me to talk to him and in turn makes it easier for him to talk to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/21 12:26 AM
2

Please don't spread this onto other platforms...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/21 12:24 AM
1

Probably. And I'd also make sure I'm worthy of the kind of girl I want.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/21 04:10 PM
3

Maybe the point is that rape should no longer be "expected" just because we want to go to parties or because of what we wear. Until then, "treat all men as potential ___"
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/21 04:09 PM
0

I only judge predatory relationships :) enjoy percolating in your rectal cavities
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 11:35 PM
2

Yeah because that 20 year old is sooooo mature for her/his age? A 16 year old can have 5 relationships behind them but that doesn't suddenly make them the right partner for a 30 year old. I don't doubt what you're talking about happens where an older man or woman somehow finds the love of their life in a early 20-something and everything works out but I don't think I'm going to just give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Age isn't just a number.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 10:17 PM
-1

Right, and why exactly are they not trying to find someone in their own age group? Attraction? That itself is creepy to begin with. + Even if it isn't "creepy" a 40 year old is still chasing someone who is potentially brand new to dating, doesn't understand the difference in power dynamics. When a 40 year old is unable to be with other people in their age group, it makes you wonder why. Is it something about them that other people in their peer group cannot be with them? Why is that they have to…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 09:14 PM
1

I would probably bring up sex ed to my kids early to explain that what they see online is not reality. I personally do not watch porn and wouldn't date anyone who watches porn while in a relationship with me (we have our imaginations) and I will discourage my kids from watching too. If they end up watching porn, the most I can do is block sites but kids are smart and will probably get past it somehow. But I can do my part in informing and supporting
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 09:06 PM
1

Women on this sub are always looked down upon for wanting to be with someone they find attractive and you feel attacked because you're looked down upon by women for wanting to be with a beautiful woman? ...just do what you want, dude. What does it matter what any of us think about your dating life
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 09:01 PM
1

I'm with my efforts match I guess? We both used be chubby when we were younger and now we're not. I think my boyfriend is frickin hot now so I wonder if I'm a match in that regard 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 08:59 PM
1

I guess I got lucky and got everything I "wanted"
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 08:57 PM
1

I've never heard of this happening IRL so no I don't think women have less qualms about dating their siblings' exes
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 08:55 PM
3

It is predatory. It's very suspicious when someone that age struggles to find someone in their own age group.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 08:52 PM
-3

Whatever it is used for now, a 40 year old man or woman should not be flirting around a 20 year old.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 08:30 PM
1

It is kind of weird if I'm meeting him for the first time but I'm also meeting his friends for the first time.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 07:12 PM
2

I think most of the guys I went on a date with were wanting a relationship. Out of all the guys I chatted with, most wanted something casual. It might be regional too.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 07:00 PM
3

Having a small circle for friends and family. My friend group includes my classmates, friends from high school, and friends I've met during my rotation at the hospital. My social life doesn't impact my dating very much because my boyfriend and I respect that we both have lives outside of one another. So the way I made friends is sort of through circumstance like school, but for my rotation, I just approach people who seem available and talk to them about something. Like I took the elevator the o…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 06:59 PM
0

Yeah it does. I'm not "unattractive" but I personally don't think I'm super attractive either. I'm a shy person but I try to be as upfront and confident as I can on dates that I've been with some guys that I thought were genuinely too attractive - like used to be the most popular guy in high school and college type attractive. I definitely think my confidence during the date was possibly intimidating and interesting to him? Idk - in the end I didn't like him very much but yes confidence works
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 06:54 PM
2

5, 10. Sex is imo more fun when you learn one anothers bodies over time. Casual sex is more like a bandaid for physical intimacy and isn't super fun
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 06:51 PM
9

What is there to discuss exactly? One person is doing this and found some way to justify her behavior. I'm not sure what discussion is necessary here.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 06:48 PM
-1

It's perfectly fine, especially if he's looking for a girl who is similar to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 06:47 PM
1

I get what you're coming from what but you know that's not what the red pill is. There are plenty of decently attractive men who end up red pilled and turn into misogynists (or maybe they were always one), they're just upset that the girl they wanted didn't find THEM attractive even though another girl later down the road totally would.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 06:46 PM
3

If you break the ((n/2)+7) rule, you're getting judged.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 06:43 PM
1

It's not a "deal breaker" but I would think that he had trust issues about me using him. I'm very "division-of-labor" sort of mindset so I like treating my bf out and I like it when he treats me out but if my boyfriend suddenly became very adamant about it, I'd be concerned that he has the wrong perspective of who I am and what I'm after.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 10:48 PM
1

Basically the same thing he offers me. Good, thoughtful conversation, goals for the present and future and love.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 10:46 PM
1

At this point in my life, direct. I like non-dramatic relationships. I'm sure during middle school, high school, and beginning of college, indirect would have been fun and exciting because of the whole "will we won't we" and talking about it with my friends. This wasn't my experience during those years so I'm sure I'm also speaking from the POV of liking books and movies that had those tropes. IRL, idk if I would have liked the agony of not knowing whether he was into me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 10:45 PM
1

They'd have to be non-practicing or very private about it. Like never expect me to go to church with them and no Sunday school or conversion for our children. It's okay if they want to talk about it with the kids because it's an option the kids can consider if they'd like but I would have done that anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 10:42 PM
1

Neither. I don't think I'd be happy with either
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 01:19 PM
0

I'm sure it still happens
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 01:17 PM
2

Height: 5'5 or taller Salary: self-sufficient + can contribute to home/childcare expenses Dominant/submissive: I don't care. Older or younger: My age Religion: Atheist These superficial things can be found in most men but that's not what makes me choose someone. His personality, his outlook on life, his goals/aspirations are what would draw me to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 01:15 PM
–

His money and status may be in demand but he is not in demand. He doesn't have objective high value.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/21 02:15 PM
1

lack of mutual respect, inequality/sexism (in chores, treatment of children), abuse, no love or compassion communicate with me, be willing to grow and change with me, work towards a mutual goal, lots of love and fun if he did the 2nd bullet point, no. If he did the 1st, yes. finances, children, cycle of abuse, religion
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/21 12:39 PM
1

Value is very subjective. Both are easy and difficult at the same time depending on where you're starting and what your mindset is towards becoming a better person and partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/21 11:37 PM
1

Very good point on why we would need enforcement of roles if these roles were natural. Also there are plenty of evidence amongst many cultures where men and women were both hunters AND gatherers together.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/21 11:35 PM
1

People don't have objective value.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/21 04:17 PM
1

We just have different criterias then.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/21 01:21 PM
1

But that doesn't necessarily make him high value.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/21 05:08 PM
1

He most certainly isn't high value...just because someone has money and athleticism doesn't make him/her high value...unless those are your main priorities.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/21 03:55 PM
1

1) Yes, I agree with...but only at the right stage of your life. For ex. if you are a bitter 20 year old, mad at the world (but mostly women), the "right" person is not the "right" person for you that moment. They're not going to want to be with someone who is a downer on life. If your attitude changes by the time you are 30, the best person for you will actually be the best for you. My anecdotal experience is that my boyfriend and I were both overweight, depressed, and generally not ready to da…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 11:37 PM
1

Good take, thanks. But I'm very "meh" about the whole "beta bucks/alpha fucks" thing. It seems like a really dumb concept
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 11:32 PM
1

If you are perfectly happy being single and don't think your life would be better or a different kind of happy with a partner, then continue to do what makes you happy. My boyfriend says that relationships that work are honestly based on how much you are willing to put up with. If you prefer a life of independence and don't want to have to dote after someone, either stay single or be with someone who appreciates that same level of independence. I could see myself going either way but I like the …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 11:29 PM
1

You're not high value if you cheat or cannot find things to do to keep yourself entertained
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 03:49 AM
3

That's a good point about our perceptions of "average" being skewed.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 03:47 AM
–

1) Yes I use(d) dating apps 2) Yes, I do drop hints. 3) I told my current boyfriend that I was interested but we also met on a dating app. 4) Foreigner I guess? Not a major race in the US. I always feel invisible. It was sad when I was younger because I wanted to date boys but I was pretty insecure about the way I looked. Now, I'm perfectly happy to be ignored.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 01:03 AM
3

I've never had a friend seriously say or act like this. I've heard jokes for ex, I tell my friends I'm sad that I had to come back to the city after spending a weekend with my boyfriend and one girl joked "just get rid of him and you won't be sad!" Obviously a joke so I don't know why women would do this other than acting on their insecurities.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 12:57 AM
3

Your points are super valid. It's still up to her if she wants to remain a "virgin" (whatever that means to her) before marriage and should not be enforced upon her.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 12:55 AM
1

Most people want to feel useful. If you can't do it in a relationship, see if you be useful to your community- volunteer in your free time, you'd be amazed how needed you'll feel there.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 01:49 PM
3

I haven't dated any of these guys and I'm not attracted to them IRL. It's fun to see them on TV though
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 01:45 PM
–

I think it's okay not to want to date a person who doesn't share your political views but I definitely encourage making friends with people who don't share your political views. It's not good to live in an echo chamber.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 01:44 PM
1

What are you even talking about
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 10:03 PM
1

Sometimes. I have had a couple instances where my kindness was misunderstood. Once it was at a place where I was volunteering when I was 19 and a 27 year old employee got upset at me for not wanting to leave my boyfriend to be with him, even though I was just trying to be nice and make friends + learn what he does for work. I don't think I've become less polite to men though
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 10:56 AM
1

I don't know why it's hard for people to believe that women like wearing makeup for themselves. Validating your own beauty feels just as nice if not nicer than having someone else. I don't wear makeup very much but when I do, my boyfriend either doesn't notice or probably feels like my skin texture and eyes look too different from the "real" me that he doesn't like it but I still like to wear it. I think I look nice with makeup even if other people don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 10:53 AM
1

I don't think I compromised on any of my standards because my standards are basically personality traits + whether I am attracted to them (rather than strict "he must be over 6 feet with blue eyes" for ex)
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 10:49 AM
1

Personality + health. In regards to personality, either there's a lack of respect or poor communication skills. For health, I think appearance could play a role in that. If you're overweight, you might be assumed to be unhealthy, even if you've already lost 20 lbs on your way to health.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 11:08 AM
1

As if PPD is notoriously known to listen to 100% of information available while also using logic and reasoning lol
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 10:25 AM
0

I'm talking about women from the FDS subreddit, not women in general
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 05:35 PM
1

There exists a lot more art of women
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 05:34 PM
1

I don't wear makeup, don't use filters.. I got enough attention with dating apps. I'm sure makeup does play a role (especially when there's a discrepancy of not understanding whether a woman is "natural" when she's actually wearing a "no-makeup makeup look"). But if you look at just art, there are women of all sizes and shapes that are praised. If you have that over centuries, it's not wonder that we get conditioned to believe most if not all women are attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 10:39 AM
0

I personally don't think women are considered more attractive due to makeup. Through out history, almost collectively, we've obsessed over the female form that it's almost difficult to look at a woman and not be able to find a feature of hers that's pleasant to look at.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 02:56 AM
2

Right, but what I'm saying is that if the child is raised without the involvement of the "low value" man, the kid could still turn out great BECAUSE he wasn't involved. Nothing to do with genes
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 09:34 PM
1

Cool, that makes sense. Those are things you'd want to avoid in a kid if you chose to go that route.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 09:20 PM
2

Great, then maybe you met that clinic's criteria.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 09:17 PM
1

How do you know? Have you donated?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 09:14 PM
2

Right but logically, the genes themselves don't dictate shitty behavior (maybe they do but I'm leaning towards nurture than nature). So even a "low value" man can have a kid that turns out to be pretty great if he/she is raised without their involvement. Besides sperm donation can be a rigorous process (assuming the FDS woman is going to a reputable place) so she's probably going to pick the person she likes best anyway and never have to deal with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 09:00 PM
10

The point might be that even if the sperm donor is a "low value" man, he will have nothing to do in raising the child or being a part of the child's life, potentially ending the cycle of low-valueness lol idk
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 08:49 PM
49

I think the point is that they'd rather be single than settle for anything less than what they want. If they have the resources, they'll have children by other means
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 05:55 PM
1

Your point about people sleeping around being more likely to cheat: that's actually been studied. People who cheat do so because of opportunity, not because of experience. So there are men and women who are entering relationships (emotional/sexual) for the first time and cheat on their partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 04:22 PM
1

But what's the point of shaming them? Just don't be with them. There are women who haven't had sex because they just couldn't, not because of values and may be perfectly fine with a guy with more experience with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 04:10 PM
2

We all have standards and that's okay. We shouldn't shame others for not meeting those standards though
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 04:00 PM
0

Good point on the whole worrying about the partner's past. If you have a concern with your partner's past and an honest conversation about it and how it will impact the relationship doesn't get you through it, it's just not the relationship for you (either bc the relationship isn't right for you or you're not ready for that relationship).
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 03:10 PM
1

It's entitlement on their partand I asked it rhetorically. Just like men are asking for empathy for some of their problems while dating, I'm asking for men to have some empathy for women for their dating issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 11:43 AM
2

Okay but how about not harassing women in the first place? Why is that women have to be harassed AND bear the responsibility of "well you could block." Just as many men here complain how painful it is to be rejected by women and getting offended when others tell them not feel bad about it, it's painful and horrible to be harassed and then be expected to not feel anything about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 12:02 AM
1

Excess of either is bad. If I'm on my phone all day, I'm holding myself back. If my boyfriend plays videogames all day he's holding himself back. If we're both watching porn instead of being with one another, we're holding our relationship back.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 10:48 PM
1

Paternity leave would be great.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 10:46 PM
1

Idk how to ascertain social status as well either so I would say no in most cases. But if they're a sex offender or a pedophile, then yeah I do care.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 10:45 PM
1

Neither.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 10:43 PM
-2

I can agree with you that if you're not doing anything wrong you shouldn't personally be attacked. But idk what kind profile you used to test this out or what region of the world you live in but "occasional" harassment isn't as little as you're making it out to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 10:42 PM
6

Have you considered that maybe you have surrounded yourself with women who don't think they should open doors for men?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 10:39 PM
8

Yeah I do pay for dates! And I open my own car door lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 10:38 PM
1

I'm a quieter person so this kind of guy wouldn't appeal to me even if he's good looking.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 10:27 PM
12

It's almost like being with someone who is nice enough to do that for you is...nice? I'm sure you would also appreciate being with a woman who is nice enough to do those things too.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 10:25 PM
-3

Maybe you should do the same and see why women complain about OLD as much as men
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 10:22 PM
2

So my experience was during a time when I was purposely looking for a casual thing. The "date" itself was fine but the sex was just so bad that I'm put off at the thought of ever having sex with someone I don't know/haven't communicated ABOUT sex with.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 12:47 PM
1

Yes it did but it could also be that I ended up with a good guy. My boyfriend wanted to have sex after 2nd or 3rd date (I did too but I didn't want to jump into anything) so I waited till I genuinely felt like I really liked him before giving the big OK
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 10:32 PM
39

I had one casual experience and it sucked and helped me make up my mind that I'd never do it again
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 10:30 PM
1

It's because society's standards for beauty is constantly changing. A few years ago, people would not have been praising Lizzo for the way she looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 10:28 PM
2

Lol I know. I still disagree - I think current and future generations are and will see the scam of weddings.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 02:50 PM
8

No it's not seen as anything bad. I personally wouldn't want to do it because SAHM's do a lot of UNPAID labor and I'm not wasting my very expensive education to stay at home and take care of the kids for no money (or much less than I would be earning if I went into the field I studied for). My expectations are that my husband and I would split housework evenly if we're both working. If he's a stay at home dad, I would give him a monthly stipend for his hard work (not including the cost of grocer…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 02:47 PM
0

False, I want a courthouse marriage and maybe a barbecue dinner with my partner's family. :D
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 02:41 PM
3

Not "desperate" but more like the current generation is still following the example of their parents of doing the traditional marriage and kids thing. But this generation and the next generation, I don't think we will really see "desperation." People will still want to get married and those people will get married. I have a roommate who would like to have a life partner but she's also okay if it doesn't happen because she's making bank and can treat herself however she wants without worrying abo…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 02:40 PM
1

I could see that. My boyfriend and I were both chubby in our teens. I don't think we would have been attracted to one another at that state. When we met, we were both healthier and more attractive after our weight loss. But I don't think the looks would have been the final thing. If my boyfriend looked like he does now but he still ate crap all the time, it wouldn't have worked out because we would have had different views and values on diet/lifestyle (his metabolism will slow down eventually an…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 02:37 PM
1

I guess I wouldn't care. I don't think I'd ever check my boyfriend's phone because at some point, I just have to trust him that he's not a cheater. If he is, then hopefully I find out soon so I can bail out but I don't think I'd waste my energy looking for anything. It would just being unnecessary stress into our relationship. I'm sure eventually, I'd get annoyed if my bf wanted to check my phone if I'm on it for a long time just to check or whatever because it just tells me that he doesn't trus…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 12:32 AM
2

Virginity is a concept, not a real thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 12:27 AM
1

You don't have to tell him to stop dating altogether but it's important to be a well rounded person. Dating shouldn't be the sole source of happiness in your life and it's okay to say that out loud.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 12:26 AM
–

I think sex work should be legalized (SAFELY!!!) because sex workers/people can do whatever they want with their bodies to make the money they need. But, because of of how society has conditioned me to think about people who USE sex workers, I tend to be judgemental towards those people - not aloud, but privately. But...what does it matter what I think about men or women using the services of sex workers? Something can be legal without me needing to like it. Marijuana is legal to use in some pla…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 12:24 AM
1

I want to share my life with someone, grow with them in many ways and I want to celebrate it by combining our families. Simple as that. Yes, I can buy my own house and take care of myself and that can still all be true while being married.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 12:20 AM
1

When I write no hookups on my profile or even think no hookups, I'm not hooking up with anyone. I'm sure there are SOME women who still hookup despite writing that they won't but honestly, if a woman writes that and you're not looking for anything serious, please leave her alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 12:17 AM
–

This assumes that you think that a cheating man is "high level."
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 12:13 AM
1

Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/21 07:34 PM
1

A few things: You may be looking from your generation POV and seeing women older than you attracted to "tall/masculine" while women your age or younger may be interested in the thin, nerdy type. Someone else also said this but most people look better as they age so they'll want to be with other better looking people too. Last thing: these are your own observations. Your community/region may have different cultures and standards than another community/region
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/21 07:12 PM
1

I only have 2 friends who are having casual sex. I have a lot of girl friends so those 2 don't really make a dent. I do hear a lot of complaints about guys not wanting anything serious though. It could be the age and they need to look for older guys or maybe use a different app...not sure!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 03:47 AM
1

Those are my deal breakers tbh. The guys that fly under the radar because they're above the threshold of being hygienic probably don't have the same interests or values as I do
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 03:45 AM
1

It depends on the friend. If it's a classmate or casual acquaintance, no because that would be weird and inappropriate. If she's my best friend and she asks I might answer
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 03:40 AM
1

Some but not all. For ex. my boyfriend and I both dressed up for our first few dates (and do so for some of our current going out dates). We both appreciated that because it shows that we both can clean up, care for our appearance to some degree, etc. Now, my boyfriend and I both wear t-shirts and shorts so I don't really care what he wears around me or in public. We still both like to dress up once in a while and we both appreciate looking at the other person
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 03:10 AM
1

First started dating at 18, broke up after 2.5 years and was single for 3 years after that. After those 3 years I started dating/having sex again. The 3 years felt both long and short at the same time. Short when I was enjoying my life with friends and hobbies more than a relationship but longer when I thought about wanting to be in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 02:05 AM
1

Both I guess? I date people who I find attractive + interesting. If someone is attractive but they're a jerk or just doesn't have many qualities that match me, I don't feel physical sexual attraction to them. I hope that makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 02:02 AM
2

Yes, as long as you have other priorities that'll balance your success/failure of having these standards. Your standards were created by you to ensure you end up with a partner that will make you happy (and hopefully them happy) bc of whatever those standards were (having similar goals, values, etc.). You mentioned in your post that an example standard is "attractiveness." This is obviously completely okay - be with someone that you find attractive if it's important to you but remember to keep y…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 01:57 AM
2

I didn't say it's not an issue. But it's certainly not going to cause the collapse of society.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 07:56 PM
6

Society isn't going to collapse because men don't have sex. I believe we're actually heading in a direction where people aren't shamed for being virgins. Unless you and your friends are propagating this "joke" of being a virgin, I seriously don't see this as a major problem that will happen in the future.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 07:35 PM
1

I disagree with how you define quality men...and how you define "whore" lol. Women who have slept with men in the past are not "whores" just like men who have slept with multiple women in the past are not "whores." Not sure why you need to tie such negative connotations to women having sex.... Settling for someone does not increase or decrease someone's quality. There are plenty of men who do not settle but would be considered by many others as "low quality" for whatever reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 07:28 PM
2

Sure, I don't think women wouldn't be hurt. Just like it would hurt a man if a woman rejected him because he had a low paying job or whatever. That's going to sting him just as much as it stings her to be rejected over having previous partners. Even if the mindset does change where men in the future prefer women with fewer or no partners, there are still going to be men who don't care or will "settle" for women, unless they are a) willing to wait till the right woman comes along b) stay single b…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 05:32 PM
1

You can totally see those as hypocritical. But clearly the rich men marrying women with less money aren't complaining...they're marrying them instead lol. And even if they are complaining, they still married these women! But the opposite isn't necessarily going to happen. Some "virgin" women aren't going to care and some are because of what they view as hypocritical
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 09:05 PM
3

What do you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 08:27 PM
0

Sort of but not really? It makes sense that if you're interested in someone, approach and shoot your shot. It's scary but worst thing that happens is a "no." So I can understand it in the sense that, if you're interested but not doing anything about it, well the potential relationship ends there. If you don't do anything about your interest, how is she or he supposed to know...ya know? If I'm interested in someone, I may not know they're also interested in me, so I can't really expect them to ap…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 05:21 PM
1

Like someone else, I think you're going from 0 to 100. Relationship and career prospects aren't that bleak and you yourself are saying these men did not get their shit together....wouldn't the solution be "get your shit together?"
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 03:19 PM
30

No, I don't think this is going to go anywhere. For every guy that cares about virginity, there will be 2 or 3 more guys who don't care. But, if you do care about virginity, that's okay I guess? It just might come off as hypocritical to her if you're not a virgin too.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 03:08 PM
0

Maybe you would, but I'm doubtful others would.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 01:57 AM
0

For ex. if you heard me say this in a real life situation, would you approach me and say, "Wtf are you talking about learn to confront?"
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 01:18 AM
-1

Most likely online dating and increase in social media/technology use. Men do not learn to confront people in real life situations whether it is a positive or negative interaction
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/21 09:14 PM
1

All this tells me is that there are a line of men who are ready to take advantage and girlfriend up with a woman they perceive as easy to get because she's dumb. Tells me more about men and their standards than women.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/21 12:52 PM
28

This sounds like a very specific situation based on your own biases.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/21 12:01 PM
1

Women are criticized for what they wear, what they do for a career, who they marry/date, the status of their "virginity", whether they choose to have children, what they choose to do with their bodies (abortion, tattoos, sex), what they look like, etc. The grass is always greener on the other side
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/21 03:34 AM
4

This is a lot of words to justify a man in his 40s chasing after a 20 year old. You can date whomever you want over the age of 18 but there's also the fact that somebody is going to look at your relationship as abusive and morally wrong. Your choice is to figure out whether you care about their opinion or not
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 03:01 PM
1

Can you share where you got these stats from? What are "those things"...? What I'm reading is "people do things to benefit themselves." Okay...What does that have to do with being a man or woman? And you're adding words to what the original commenter said. He didn't say anything about "women do women stuff to benefit themselves." He objectified and you're trying to clean up his statement
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 12:45 AM
1

How do you know that men and women are frequently lying to each other about past relationships? The commenter said "she will do women stuff"...how is that not objectifying? Not really a lazy argument. It's a valid one.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 12:03 AM
2

Thank you, this is a great input.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 12:00 AM
2

I feel that these same romance content you're talking about distorts the perceptions men have about romance and relationships too. Porn impacts women as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 07:57 PM
16

Your comment just proves to me that you don't see her as another human being.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/21 05:41 PM
1

I believe relationships have developed into "this one person encompasses everything" that it's a bit unhealthy. A lot of people want a lover, a life partner, a friend, a therapist, a family member, etc. This is not always a bad thing but you must have other friends, family members or a therapist because 1 person cannot solely be all of these. I'm sure there are many relationships out there where a person (both men and women) is with their S/O because they want someone that's just theirs and can …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/21 05:00 PM
11

That's awesome, glad it's working out for you! And she's a human being with thoughts, feelings, interests and values. She's not a skittish cat that'll run away just because you didn't follow a formula. As long as you both communicate with one another, there's no reason this wouldn't work other than differences in goals and values. My boyfriend and I talked about it early that it was important for us to get to know each other before getting too physical. Because physical intimacy can definitely c…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/21 04:40 PM
1

Not objectively. Society has always placed importance on female beauty (look at most forms of art) so through conditioning, so have we.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/21 01:00 PM
1

Technology, internet.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/21 12:18 AM
6

Probably if that's important to them. If a fat guy saw a muscular guy and has no motivation or interest in getting muscular/fit, he probably doesn't appreciate/respect it as much as another guy who does have those values. It's the same with women. If she has an interest in exercise and strength, she'll have an appreciation and respect for a muscular guy beyond the appearance of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/21 08:39 PM
1

Have you read comments on this sub before?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/21 01:04 PM
3

You could apply literally all of these to men too. Men have just as little self-awareness.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/21 11:50 AM
4

Sure but it's not always possible to contribute 50/50, even if you try to aspire to that. Unless my boyfriend decides to go a different direction, I'm going to make more than him and that's ok. I'm not with him for the money. If we're both able to take care of ourselves, that's enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/21 11:23 AM
8

"men aren't marrying women that look like models" So why do men on this sub think that women only go for tall, muscular men who look like models and then blame women for unfair beauty standards.. because many women aren't marrying men who look like models either. So it's either both our faults or nobody's fault.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/21 07:42 PM
1

Is that what I said though? I don't deny that horrible men manage to get into relationships and I didn't say that all men who hate women don't get laid. The question asked: where are all these men with horrible personalities? I answered, there are many examples on this sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/21 05:24 PM
3

You're not an asset that he owns...it sounds like you just have a lot of insecurities about aging and yourself in general. If you or your partner are people who cannot accept that people change over time both mentally, emotionally and physically, how will you get through life without major anxiety and suffering?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/21 03:27 PM
25

Have you read comments on this sub? That's where you can find some examples of guys with horrendous personalities. Some of the men here are very misogynistic, hate women but still want them to like them. Also, even if you are a genuinely "nice" person, you have to know some social cues to not appear creepy.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 05:33 PM
2

Thanks, I found him already :)
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 02:50 PM
5

The guy replying replies like he's one of these guys or knows a guy that fits her criteria and now she has to prove herself to him. Her standards are not unreasonable imo. They're almost identical to mine (but I'm sure I have my own values that differ from hers) If you don't fit her standards, why should you be mad? She's just not the right one for you. You don't need to convince her she's asking for too much. If men like this don't exist, she'll find out on her own, except...they do, it's just …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 12:29 PM
2

It really depends on what both our definitions of high standards means.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 11:22 PM
1

I can't believe this needed to be said.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 09:53 PM
6

You assume women are supposed to know which men are "the bad ones"??? Why are we blaming women for drinking alone with a guy instead of blaming the guy for trying to attack or rape her?? Dude...
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 02:43 PM
3

I don't think I've ever seen anyone IRL or on OLD that I truly thought was unattractive, just not my type. For ex. super buff/superhero type body, just not my type. They're definitely attractive, still not my type. And I should ask you, are you going to purposely go out with someone that you didn't find attractive?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 12:02 PM
1

Really? I have plenty of straight male friends and we're genuinely just friends. They haven't asked me out and we haven't overstepped boundaries. Some of my straight male friends have even gotten into serious relationships since becoming friends with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/21 06:24 PM
2

I actually found my partner on OLD but I went in witu a positive body image already but I could definitely see how daunting it would be if I had started OLD feeling bad about my body. I think especially because these are complete strangers on the internet whereas if I dated a friend of a friend or something, I already know they have an interest
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/21 04:38 PM
2

Aw that sucks :( that's just the thing with online dating though, you get very surface level info until you actually meet them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/21 04:24 PM
1

A lot of guys on Hinge had really good photos whereas Bumble and Tinder has a lot of profiles that looked like they were made that night and random photos from their camera roll were chosen. But I agree, I don't think men WERE socialized to do this but I think the newer generation that are in their late teens/early twenties are more socialized and know how to do this
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/21 02:37 PM
4

Well, we kind of have to. If I'm going to find a stranger to date, I want to make sure I go out with someone that puts in some effort. If they look creepy because they took a picture in the dark or completely unflattering, what about this guy makes me think I'm safe to go out with him? If a guy smiles and is outside in the light, he looks like someone I could trust.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/21 02:35 PM
1

How are you going to determine you're bottom 50%? Did these take into consideration the profile/picture quality?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/21 11:55 AM
1

Yeah but as long as we still have the same core values. For ex, my partner and I should have similar views on abortion but I don't care if we have different views on tipping.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/21 02:27 PM
1

Sorry that's your experience! "Over communication" has heightened the attraction in my relationship. There's no frustration and dissatisfaction anymore. Understanding one another just makes me want to be with him even more.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/21 02:25 PM
1

I don't know if the way the guy looks has been a factor on how I've been treated. Sorry for your experience but you may be drawing incorrect conclusions
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/21 02:20 PM
3

I don't read erotic novels or media. I prefer slow-burn romance that develops the relationship/friendship. I don't want porn
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/21 02:03 PM
2

Haha don't knock it till you try it
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/21 02:41 AM
3

Yes definitely! I think doing this can quickly look predatory if you're going in with the wrong mindset
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/21 12:10 AM
6

Lol yeah!! I just started going to a yoga class and I was surprised by the # of women that went to introduce themselves to another new guy in the class. And he was just a regular looking guy too
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/21 12:09 AM
4

Dating apps: Hinge or Bumble. Coffee Meets Bagel is okay too. IRL: Yoga class, dance studio, adult classes (art/crafting class. I personally like these since they're wholesome and even if you don't find a relationship, you'll meet some cool people. You could also say bar/club but it's hit or miss getting the kind of person you want (usually not!)
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/21 11:16 PM
1

Not necessary! Do what makes you look pleasing to your own eye (as long as you're being healthy about it) and you'll do fine :)
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/21 11:13 PM
1

I haven't heard "discourage" before. It seems like they "encourage" you to take your time before getting married/have kids. Both are HUGE commitments that are expensive and time-consuming. There's no harm in waiting and making sure you're ready to be in that position (or whether it's something you want at all!)
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/21 09:51 PM
5

Yup, which is why you can't win with this crowd. If a woman is not interested in any of these dudes, she's doing something wrong 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/21 09:50 PM
1

Neither is true or false. If they were raised to not develop a personality and interest, then yeah they'll be boring. The opposite is true too. I'm sure there are plenty of "ugly" (whatever your definition of this is) women with "boring" (whatever your definition of this is) personalities too.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/21 09:48 PM
1

I believe it's important but does not have to be an exact match. For ex. my boyfriend and I are very committed to living a healthy life and to do that, we need to be accountable for ourselves and one another. We both have our vices so we need to be understanding and supportive. I, for example, don't like to eat a lot of meat while my boyfriend does and based on our health goals, I need a lot more protein. I either have to find alternative sources or be okay with eating more meat. Another one is,…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 07:21 PM
1

I've lived in large cities in the US and did okay. Had to do a lot of vetting though since you never know who is lying about wanting a serious relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 06:58 PM
1

Just preference. There are so many guys here that prefer low n-count women, even though the # of partners you have shouldn't define or impact anything if your relationship is healthy, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 06:57 PM
1

Subjective. I was watching Too Hot to Handle and didn't find a single guy on there attractive whereas the person I was watching it with was shocked and considered each guy the "cream of the crop." I could see why someone would find those guys attractive because they had the classic masculine body but it wasn't my thing. There are cultures out there that find obese women attractive in more marriageable than thin women.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 06:54 PM
1

Compatibility, just like women would give commitment to one guy but not another. Guys I've had casual sex with and have relationships with are equal in appearance but relationship material means we are compatible in things other than sex: values, long term goals, personality, etc. The last guy I dated ended our relationship or whatever it was after 2 months and 2 months later was in a committed relationship with another girl. During my 2 months with this guy, I recognized that there was a lot ab…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 06:52 PM
0

What's your point? That people have preferences?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 06:49 PM
8

Why not? If a low n count woman is what you want in the first place why would you date a woman with previous relationship/sexual experiences? Unless you ask her how men she slept with OR how long she made guys wait before having sex with them, how do you go into a relationship expecting her to have sex with you so soon?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 05:40 PM
11

Honestly, it makes sense why younger marriages can end in divorce. It might be the couple married while they were still in the honeymoon phase of their relationship and a couple years later, after never developing proper communication between themselves, ends poorly. There are plenty of young people in marriages that have already developed those skills and can continue to maintain their relationship with their spouse. But if you don't learn to develop those skills even in your 30s, your relation…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/21 05:44 PM
3

Haha no worries! I think this sub just has the capacity for a lot of misinterpretation in the first place
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/21 01:30 PM
3

Commenter above said 300 lb girl is NOT going to get a guy horny. I'm telling them that they'd be surprised because there ARE men who are into larger women.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/21 12:33 PM
-1

Dating isn't math.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/21 02:52 AM
2

You would be surprised...
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/21 02:51 AM
4

I think OP is a bit of a sociopath
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/21 02:49 AM
2

No, I don't think so. Seems like a very individual, personality-based thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/21 01:05 AM
1

Do you think this description matches you more than other men? Is this description of a woman what you actually want? Because I guess, I could say too sure I just want a pleasant boyfriend who is cooperative, attractive and good in bed. But that doesn't necessarily equate to a happy relationship. I'm a higher earner than my boyfriend and he's realized that and often talks about how I will deliver the lifestyle we have and want in the future. And my boyfriend has a lot of pride so I don't think y…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/21 01:02 AM
14

How interesting that men on this subreddit have "amazing revelations" that "genuine nice guys" don't get to have sex. 👀 Y'all call yourselves nice?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/21 11:57 PM
11

Maybe she's saying it because a guy is being really pushy on the first date to have sex. Sometimes it has to be said. 🤷🏽‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/21 11:56 PM
2

I don't think I would reduce men to that. Men are capable of love. I'm a woman and I've certainly mistaken lust for love.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/21 09:30 PM
1

This isn't the 90s or early 2000s anymore. Liking star wars, dnd and lotr isn't weird anymore. Some women just want to be with a guy with similar interests and hobbies. I personally wouldn't choose a partner based on having similar hobbies but some people want to be able to do their favorite thing with a favorite person. Also, you'd (not specifically you) probably look down on her too if she was watching trashy reality TV INSTEAD of Lotr, star wars, etc. Men wearing makeup and traditionally wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/21 01:38 PM
2

I think TRPers definition of what an actual nice guy and what an asshole might be a bit arbitrary. Is an asshole the guy that cheats, is he the guy that sleeps with a lot of woman and refuses to commit, is he the guy that purposely chooses women looking for a serious relationship and dips out, is he a guy that a girl chose but ended up not being happy with, is he all the above? A couple of those might generally be considered traits of a shitty guy but I'm doubtful that women are selecting men wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/21 12:48 PM
2

I think both applies to both. I'm a woman and I used to watch porn and had unrealistic expectations from it as well. I expected sex to always feel good - was fairly surprised when it wasn't as mind blowing as I expected to be. (Life has been much more exciting since I stopped watching porn though). I attributed it to either me doing something wrong or him doing something wrong (probably a combo of both IRL), even though there's no "wrong or right" - it's just what do I prefer and what does he pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/21 08:19 PM
2

There are people who accidentally (or purposely because they limit their screen time) do this and aren't bad people. How would the person on the other end know? It depends on their tolerance for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/21 09:34 PM
1

I think the definition of shitty men is just so arbitrary. I think everyone, even decent people are capable and have done shitty things. I feel like each person on this sub has a different definition. Sometimes, it's just a guy who manages to get sex and that makes him shitty and other times it's guys who has sex with many women, and sometimes they're men who are bullies.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/21 07:59 PM
12

But why should being a decent human being ensure that you get laid?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/21 06:34 PM
3

This is my understanding too.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/21 01:55 PM
1

Maybe you don't need something to do during the day to keep your mind active and yourself happy. My partner has expressed to me that we doesn't want to be a stay at home husband and would like to work. So of course, I'm going to encourage him to do so if he loses his job. But have I actually shown that sex is necessary? I think you completely ignored the long distance part. Sex is not necessary for the relationship to continue, especially if we're long distance....my partner and I both want it b…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/21 02:29 PM
1

When did I ever say sex was unnecessary? Of course it's necessary. I want to have sex, he wants to sex. Boom. We found the right person to do that with. It's like saying communication in a relationship is unnecessary. And even if he stopped having sex for a long period of time, it doesn't change anything. My relationship was and will soon be again long distance. There will be a long period where neither of us can have sex. We know how to take care of our own urges, we're not helpless lol. If he …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/21 01:35 PM
1

Nope, I don't think so. If he gets fired tomorrow, my expectations would change. I wouldn't expect him to buy anything for me. And you have to ask yourself, what is the circumstance of not having sex? Do I stop having sex with him because I don't find him attractive anymore? Is it because he no longer finds me attractive? Well then duh the relationship should end, if neither of us are willing to address it. Is it because I'm using a new form of birth control and have had 2 month long period? The…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/21 01:12 PM
0

Maybe those girls weren't FDSers lol
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/21 04:41 AM
0

Yes it is. It's not necessary for men to have those traits (except self-sufficiency. Everyone should strive to be self-,sufficient) Why shouldn't a man be able to express his emotions freely? In what way is this considered a weakness or a bad thing for men to do? Why does he need to be strong (other than to be strong because he goes to the gym)? I mean, how many posts do we see daily from guys hating "chads" for having the above qualities and lamenting their lack of these qualities?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/21 04:38 AM
1

Finances/job: I want him to be self-sufficient. I don't need him to take care of me because I can do that on my own but he should be able to take care of his own needs and contribute to the future family we have. He can do whatever he wants for work. Traits: similar goals and values in life, health and our relationship Education: higher education not required but should have an interest in life-long learning Looks: my type Style: whatever he wants to style himself, as long as he is presentable C…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/21 04:32 AM
2

Not sure what kind of answer you were expecting but it completely depends. How many women is he around on a regular basis? What's the setting - does he regularly go to bars/parties/social events or are you talking about a professional setting?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/21 04:19 AM
6

This seems reasonable. I think there are parts that can be "transactional" but that's if you look at it through an emotionless lens. I don't do things for my boyfriend because I'm expecting something back (for example, I know he gets stressed out about not cleaning his apartment completely every week so I help him clean his kitchen). I'm not expecting him to drive to my apartment and clean my kitchen just because I cleaned his. I did it because I love him and know it would be something that is m…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/21 04:16 AM
4

I'm not really thinking about financial stability for dating but more for "can I please take a break from working when I'm in my 50s or 60s?" Starting a savings account early is the advice I kept hearing. But, I personally favor a partner who can support themselves first, not me. I know I can take care of myself financially. I know that if I was the one having to rely on my partner to support me, I would feel ashamed and useless - that's just my pride. I don't know if my partner would feel the s…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/21 11:12 PM
1

Have you seen how many men post pictures looking exactly like this guy getting comments 'it's over" on this website?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/21 04:54 PM
-4

Yes but they /could/ have sex and relationships if they weren't such bitter people. This guy that you posted a picture looks like so many guys that religiously believe red pill theories (there are other sub reddits where guys post pictures of themselves to be rated bc they haven't been kissed or hugged or whatever).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/21 03:14 PM
-1

It kind of highlights how many men are red pill but are actually decent looking and could be successful with dating if they didn't have such awful personalities/ideas floating around their heads.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/21 02:35 PM
2

I would just find it weird, I think. There is some level of physical attraction when you're with someone. I could completely understand if he didn't find me attractive before he fell in love with me but I think the love and care changes your perception of the person. So, I would just find it odd. I think someone else said it too but I feel like women say their bf is not "handsome" they probably mean conventionally handsome. Like not Chris Evans attractive. My girl friends may not be interested i…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/21 04:25 PM
1

You've described women behaving a certain way because they could potentially be raped, kidnapped or murdered by the man they are about to go on a date with. You've described men behaving a certain way because they heard from other men that women will hurt men's feelings. Anyway, the real problem is attributing your personal experience to ALL men or women. Just because you and your friends have bad experiences with women, does not men all women are like that that you create a behavior checklist. …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/21 02:32 AM
1

I don't know how I'd act in an actual life-threatening situation, but I'm going to try to save a man or woman's life if it's within my power to do so, even if it's someone I'm not fond of. So not men specifically having a moral obligation to save women but we all have a moral obligation to save one another. You don't have to confront a gunman or anything crazy but if you see a woman being harassed, bring attention to it someway (call 911, alert someone near by).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/21 12:54 PM
4

Yeah exactly! LOL He's generalizing his anecdotal experiences to all women. You would be pretty annoyed if I said no man in this world wants commitment because my personal anecdotal experiences are proof.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 08:11 PM
7

There isn't a single man YOU know that doesn't want commitment. Well, in MY experience men are not more into commitment than women. Maybe you're interested in women who are not into commitment? Not sure what the point of this post is.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 05:31 PM
1

So let's say in this scenario, she wasn't interested in Ben to begin with and that's why she deleted him. The only requirement he had of her when he selected her on this app was that she is a beautiful woman (and maybe being good at holding a conversation, idk). He may not even be looking for any other effort she puts in (such as having a college degree, having an affluent background, having specific interests, being a high earner), his interest in her may have been soley on her beauty. Because …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 04:08 PM
1

I don't think it's really a double standard though. Especially in this specific scenario. She thought it was a fake profile and the tik tok made it seem like she felt she made a mistake by deleting him.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 03:45 PM
3

First of all, what percent of women are going to be on this app in the first place. Second, what do you or any other average guy bring to the table that a beautiful woman like her picks an average guy (I'm assuming) over someone else. The reason I ask what YOU bring to the table is because you clearly see value (and feel a bit of jealousy) that beautiful women can be accessible through this app for the rich and famous for sole fact that she is a beautiful woman. You're not even asking what else …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 02:02 PM
2

I probably the same sympathy as a man who wishes more women would approach him. I don't look down on either at all but would probably advice that it'd be easier to get what they want if they approach rather than waiting for something good to come to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 06:39 PM
1

Maybe some women do but you can't generalize this opinion to all women..? I have a couple friends who preferred to have casual sex rather than find something serious so I have no doubt that some women like to have casual sex but I would not apply this to all women just because you seem to think women have bad choices in men - I don't think you can expertly make that statement.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 04:29 PM
1

I think it's sad and alarming how many people won't get married because of financial preparedness. I'd like to know if the 2000 millennials they surveyed were across the country or from a particular city/region because that would make a huge impact on the results. I think it's a great idea to expand community programs for singles.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/21 04:00 PM
1

I disagree. It used to be quite common that men didn't date women that were overweight/obese because of those traits. With body positivity, women are highlighted as being sexy even if they are overweight/obese. Not to say that men and women still don't have preferences for more fit women but it did have a big impact. Having body positivity for men will do the same. Women/men will still have preferences for certain looks, just like they do for women, but highlighting shorter or thinner men as sex…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/21 03:07 PM
1

If it's that important to them to be mothers, it's an option.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 07:48 PM
1

Which is why I mentioned fostering or adopting. Having bio kids isn't the only way to have kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 05:52 PM
1

Sure...but women can still have children at 45...there's really no rush. Also, not all those women necessarily WANT to have kids because like others on this sub have said, she could go to a sperm bank, foster or adopt if she really wants kids. Finding someone to date is for intimacy and having a partner for life (potentially). Booming career and sex with "chads" whatever that means doesn't have to be meaningless and I don't think it is. Just because women want a partner does not mean other aspec…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 04:31 PM
2

r/dating I think are very young people entering the dating world I think dating over 30 might be mostly female (idk if this is true) because it's socially acceptable for women to settle down by this age. I don't think this is necessary but I'm sure these women feel the pressure of family, friends, society and their own expectations to have found a life long partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 03:26 PM
1

I don't have anything against men who don't want to commit. I take my time when dating and if I find someone who doesn't want to commit, I don't want to be the person who "changes" them. They're more than free to go find a woman who they are willing to commit to. I only refer to men as "fuckboy, player, womanizer" (but never really using these words) when talking to friends about their dating lives, especially when I see major red flags that either their already starting to see or can't see thro…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 01:23 PM
1

I agree it's manipulation. I don't know anyone who is actually interested in men with horrible personalities or rude men. If a guy charms you with a fake personality, how is a woman supposed to know that he's faking so he can get something from her? That's why I always advocate for my friends to take their time when dating anyone - his real personality is going to come out soon enough and it's better you see it before investing your emotions in him. Same with men too, but most of my male friends…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 01:15 PM
4

Omg I personally would never think of staying at home as a luxury lol I'd rather be the one that's out working 40 hrs a week But nevertheless, there are women/men who are homemakers today and would not be fair to them if property and finances are split based on financial contribution.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 04:17 AM
3

I agree that alimony should have a shorter time frame. Splitting of property is tricky because for ex. some men want women who stay at home while he works so how would she have been able to contribute the last 10 years? I agree with 50/50 custody unless there is a preference BUT should not be 50/50 if one parent is clearly unfit to be a parent. I think common law marriages are great and fine. Why do you think it shouldn't be a thing?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 04:04 AM
7

"as happy"...when both are bitter, cynical and unhappy people. Idk who is "happier" but neither are actually happy
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/21 08:38 PM
1

Communication. I have a couple of friends who had a hard time with dating and it's usually because they were great about texting back even when they're interested. They weren't waiting for him to text first or anything, they would just forget to reach out. I think if they fixed that and became more proactive, dating will be a little bit more easier
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/21 07:43 PM
1

Yes, this exactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/21 12:44 PM
1

Yes, 100% overanalyzing to the point that of rejection occurs, the blame goes to the other party almost immediately rather than considering incompatibility, or their own "faults." If I overanalyzed the actions and words of every guy I dated, I would have been so cynical of dating and men in general. Some analysis is useful like asking "why does this person treat me the way he/she does?" but realizing that this cannot be generalized to all women everywhere because that's when things become hatefu…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/21 12:42 PM
1

That's interesting but all of these characteristics are also common in people with self-confidence and high self esteem. I do see how men and women with interests in those characteristics can see the surface level of those characteristics and not look deeper to see that a person is suffering underneath all that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/21 02:49 AM
-1

I believe you are correct in that 1) "nice" guys have not seen healthy relationships before or have a skewed view of what a healthy relationship is but also could be 2) believe that any girl they do not get themselves must end up with an asshole because how could she have possibly passed up on anyone as nice as him? 3) there may be an assumption that men who have sex don't "appreciate" what they have and therefore, men who have multiple partners are assholes
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 08:07 PM
1

I can understand men being cynical about people surrounding him when things are good in his life. That's a valid fear to have because he has to wonder whether his friends, family and partner are there for him or if they're there because he's in a better place in his life (financially, emotionally, etc). But sometimes, the people in your life at your best don't deserve to go through your worst. Recently, I was talking to my boyfriend about wishing that I had met him earlier and he looked surprise…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 07:27 PM
0

woman having sex with an unconscious man is not rape this is rape. the legal definition you used has been used to advocate for men too though but sure, I think the definition could use some editing.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 06:24 PM
3

You're absolutely right. My partner may die or just become a different person overtime that I have trouble adapting to but I can try to find someone else. My boyfriend's grandfather remarried at 92 so having a partner for life doesn't necessarily have to mean one parter for life but i still hope my partner and I are intentional and have good circumstances to stay together for life.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 04:58 PM
2

I don't want to be in a LTR because it's the next step. I want a life-long partner, someone to rely on and someone who can rely on me. This life is long and I want someone by my side.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 03:55 PM
3

It just takes a looooot of patience to find the right guy. I would honestly ask another sub for advice because many men here advocate women to have very little or no sex before she ends up with someone but then rage when she refuses to have sex until the relationship becomes established. There's a girl survival guide subreddit where you'll get better advice from other women. Good luck :)
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 12:28 PM
5

Are you really a happy and secure person if you're chasing "the last laugh"? No, probably not because they'd be more focused on enhancing the happiness in their life, not thinking about all the women that rejected them. I've had more partners than my boyfriend but my boyfriend is a happier person than I am. Having sex with people isn't a scale to make you a happy or unhappy person unless you personally value that as an incredibly important aspect of your happiness. Besides, I don't think these e…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 04:02 AM
0

My point still stands that OP could not have chosen a more useless privilege to talk about. Another more concerning privilege would be jail time or child custody.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 03:52 AM
1

Psychology studies. Most colleges with a psychology program require students taking a psych class to participate in psych research. You just need someone interested in this topic, clearly there are plenty of people interested based on this one post and plenty of participants are available.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 02:46 AM
1

No, I need stats on how many men are being mistreated by women they're friends with.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 01:53 AM
1

You can provide stats for starvation and hunger in this world. Can you provide me stats about how many men are mistreated after being rejected by a woman they have a crush on? Which is why I ask for experiences and observations. If you have zero observations, not sure how you are contributing other than making major assumptions about 50% of the population and if you have made an observation of this, it is applicable to you. It can't be generalized.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 01:40 AM
-1

Because the privilege you're talking about doesn't matter?? Who tf cares if women have more sex than men? Men have the privilege to get vasectomies when they want whereas women are denied by multiple doctors who refuse to sterilize her because "you might want children later." There are women who are actually disabled from pain from their uterus but physicians refuse to do hysterectomies because she might want children later, even though it's likely she can't have children.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 01:37 AM
5

That's sad and hilarious 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 01:30 AM
1

Because these are observations that cannot be generalized. Which is why I have to ask whether you experienced this because for every 1 person who says they experienced this, I could find 10 people who didn't. Doesn't invalidate what you or someone else experienced but these observations cannot be generalized to the population :) does that make sense?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 01:30 AM
1

Sorry, are you saying that this happened to you? When you witnessed this happening to other people, did you tell the person who was being strung along about your concerns?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 09:55 PM
1

That's rough, that sucks that it happened to you and that you witnessed it happening. I have not personally had this happen in my life or within my friend groups so I guess it's very social circle dependent
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 09:53 PM
1

Did that happen to you? How often does this happen?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 08:05 PM
2

I don't think you need to tell me how I feel about the dynamics of my friendships being interrupted :) I don't know if you were turned down by a girl you were friends with and the fact that I'm validating her feelings of being troubled with it is hurting you more. Sorry if this happened to you!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 07:18 PM
2

It messes with the dynamics of the friendship, the dynamics of mutual friends. I'd want to deal with quickly and move on from it -and hope that he would too (either refraining from making advances towards me romantically and continuing to be my friend, or just not being a friend anymore if he's uncomfortable).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 07:10 PM
2

Prompt is about a male friends so yes I'd be horrified if a male or female friend liked me more than a friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 06:56 PM
2

Really? If I was the girl, I'd be horrified. That would be a negative the whole way
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 06:51 PM
1

Why are you assuming she's leading him on? Guy expresses interest, girl says no. How is that abuse?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 06:49 PM
10

They're both preferences so I don't see them as very different.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 06:44 PM
2

Some women want to look good for themselves and feel confident, some are going to spend time with friends, some are going on dates, some are going to meet a guy they want to impress, comfortability, easy to put on, etc. So why not?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 04:02 PM
3

I don't need to own unwanted attention. I didn't cause unwanted attention. I could dress as modest as I can and still receive unwanted attention. The problem isn't me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 03:56 PM
2

I don't want to be catcalled by anyone!! I'm already in a relationship, so I don't want anyone approaching me. I dress the way I want for me lmao, I don't know why this is so hard to understand. Do you not dress up and feel good about yourself when you go out? Why should I have to dress a certain way when the men that are going to be gross and disgusting will be gross and disgusting no matter what I wear? Maybe they should behave better??
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 03:53 PM
12

Had the exact same experience as you. Wore full length sleeve top and full length jeans and was followed around in a mall by a man in a middle-eastern country. In India, wore pants that went to my knees and a t-shirt and was cat called. What I wear was never the problem. The behavior of these men were though. Edit: the experience at the mall was at age 10
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 03:48 PM
2

I could literally be wearing full length jeans or gym shorts and still be made uncomfortable by men (if cat called or stared at). I mean, there was a point where women had to wear dresses past their ankles and if a guy saw a hint of an ankle.... There's just no winning lmao so I'm just going to dress the way I want to. I'm going to expect men to act better because I know there's nothing wrong with the way I'm dressing.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 03:42 PM
1

Friend = just a friend, friendly encounters. More than a friend = flirty. I have regular friends who are very attractive but I don't and could not see as more than a friend so attractiveness isn't the only aspect. No. I think it would only get tiring if the "will they won't they" goes on for so long that both just move on.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 03:38 PM
5

to be clear : every women can wear what they want why do you wear sexy clothing in public? Yeah, exactly that. I want to look sexy for myself and I can wear whatever I want. Men can be kind by not cat calling - I don't need to edit the way that I live my life and dress because some men act and talk like animals.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 03:35 PM
1

I feel bad for anyone who themselves feel bad about being single. I don't feel bad for men who make other men and women feel horrible too because he can't contain the toxicity of his thoughts.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 03:32 PM
1

I briefly had a "why are there no good men" but OLD makes it tough to look past appearance. But even when I was matching with men that checked every box for looks, very very very few had a decent personality that matched mine and their attractiveness fizzled so quickly after that. I just started having honest conversations with a lot of guys about who they are, what they're looking for, etc. and found the dating experience to be much easier. Rather than thinking "oh he's only here for this and t…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 03:28 PM
8

I agree. I believe there will still be women who want and prefer to stay home and do traditional homemaker work but I don't see women going back to those days ever again. Even in my personal life, I would never stay home with the kids - I'm completely happy providing for my husband and kids by working and completely okay with my husband being a stay-at-home dad
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 03:25 PM
0

I guess?? But a lot of men want monogamy and sex so what then?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 03:22 PM
1

I don't think either gender wants to start a relationship with someone who has nothing/struggling unless they knew that person for a while. My boyfriend and I were talking about it because I told him I wished I knew him earlier and he said, "I don't think you would have liked me up until last year - I wasn't the same person I am now." And honestly, that is true for me too. He wouldn't have liked me either. Neither of our financial situations or appearance changed but we were different people.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 03:20 PM
1

I would say that the moment that hunting/gathering no longer became a necessity for survival (such as domestication of plants/animals) is when society shifted from mutual survival to oppression.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 04:03 AM
0

So essentially men are only nice because it'll get them women? That doesn't make sense. Why not just be nice to...be a nice person? Without any strings or only-ifs attached. If you or anyone personally thinks that being an "asshole" is what it takes to be a woman, is that even how you want to get a woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 03:26 AM
1

I agree technology helped but women still had to advocate for that technology to benefit them. Oral contraceptives changed the game but how many men were willing to advocate for women to take oral contraceptives? Technology was available but how many women were /allowed/ to use it? Oral contraceptives were created in 1960 but in 1972, unmarried women were not legally allowed to use them....so women fighting to use the technology available did get the world to "50 percent" female employment.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 03:17 AM
1

Really? I don't think we made this "mistake" enough considering how many bitter and rude men are on this website.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 10:41 PM
1

I don't think it's been super difficult personally. With OLD, I swipe on people I find attractive but only go on dates with someone I had a good connection with through text or virtual video date. I managed to find my current boyfriend 3 months after my previous breakup. To me, that's an okay time because I got a chance to get over the last guy and edit what I'm looking for in a partner. I initiated with my previous partner as well. Your high maintenance definition may also be different from min…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 08:16 PM
1

Nope, because a lot of guys have had very few relationships before marriage/children. Exactly how is dad who married his first girlfriend supposed to teach his son to be a womanizer? He's going to teach his son things he assumes a womanizer does instead of teaching him to do what he himself did to marry the woman he loves. Just teach boys to be kind and respectful and find sources of happiness from multiple aspects of life rather.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 08:10 PM
1

Disagree and this statement cannot be generalized. I have a higher income than my boyfriend so I treat us out more often, though we try to take turns. I initiated a lot of the beginning of our relationship (first kiss, where do you see things going, what are your goals for the relationship, etc). I don't feel desperate or low maintenance lol and my affection certainly did not need to be bought. I was wanted for who I was but I also initiated - I did not change as a person to do this.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 08:06 PM
1

I agree that there was cooperation but women had to fight over time to get out of those roles. Over time, that type of cooperation was not needed anymore - women needed to work to support the household - there was more to do in life than take care of a home and children. I believe society stifled women into those roles longer than they needed to be in those roles.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 08:03 PM
1

This is such a good take but some people are only looking for sex, physical intimacy. I think there are many on this sub that want emotional intimacy as well but feel that everything is so transactional so they would rather not do anything to contribute to a relationship but still want to reap the benefits of the relationship (but like you said in your post, this would never work).
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 08:00 PM
2

I can't stand when men say that they're the nice guys and that they got shunned by a woman who ended up with an "asshole." Is he an asshole because he got the girl and you didn't? Aren't you an asshole for assuming the guy she picked is an asshole? I also cannot stand when women assume every man in the world must be scum because one guy treated her poorly. Although her own experiences will make her wary about dating in the future, she does not need to publicly shame every man. Both people need a…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 07:56 PM
1

It did initially. He was nervous to kiss me so I asked him if I could kiss him. But after that, I didn't feel he was as shy about physical stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 12:02 PM
1

It's because women's bodies and parts of women's bodies are fetishized by men.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 04:03 AM
1

So how do you know from observation that what you see is not love? How do you know that other women love their ideal option but no who they are with? This isn't a jab but just curious what you are observing that led to this conclusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 04:02 AM
1

Yes, and honestly if it wasn't for the pandemic, we probably would not have even found each other or developed our relationship as quickly as we have. We met on Bumble and went on our first virtual date <1 week of talking. It ended up being a 3.5 hour call and I was so amazed at how easy it was to talk to him that I cancelled all other dates I had with other guys. He told me that I was the only girl he went on a date with during the pandemic that said she did something with her time (like learni…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 03:24 AM
1

My boyfriend and I both had a bit of weight gain during thanksgiving/christmas. I still found him super attractive and I assume he did too. I would say my own weight gain caused me more grief than it did for the relationship. My boyfriend and I are losing fat and gaining muscle now but I don't think I feel more or less attracted to him but he's mentioned it several times that he really likes how he can see the muscles in my back more clearly so obviously he's enjoying my weight loss.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 03:19 AM
1

As a woman, I've seen both: attractive guys with really great/boring personalities, okay/average looking guys with great/boring personalities. The conversation in the end decides it for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 03:16 AM
1

Is this coming from personal experience?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 03:14 AM
1

I think it's because men talk about it like it's a problem, when it's not. And hypergamy in this sub comes with other assumptions (she'll cheat to be with someone better!) that are just so problematic and cynical.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 03:13 AM
1

Yeesh, I think your post is coming off very negative. I agree that worrying over hypergamy doesn't make sense because the concept makes sense for anyone. Why wouldn't you pick the best for yourself? But "it sucks to suck" is not the right mindset. Most of these guys are probably not even "ugly" to begin with. They may just have poor social skills or just haven't met the right woman yet. The solution isn't to "give up" and create a porn account. It's to focus on other aspects of life that makes y…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 03:12 AM
1

I thought this was already sort of a thing. There are women who get paid to just hug men - nothing sexual, just hug them or cuddle with them. It might seem shameful though, just like getting a prostitute is but I could see this happening in the west.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 03:09 AM
0

My current boyfriend is 25 and I'm his first girlfriend. I didn't mind that he didn't have relationship experience because we have worked on our communication with one another. I personally hate the "reading the other person" to see where they're at. I'm just going to straight up ask. "Are you dating anyone else? Where do you see this going? What would you like out of this relationship?" etc. I haaaaate hate hate the "will they won't they" bullshit. But, I only ask these questions after a few da…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 03:07 AM
1

If I've seen anyone that I genuinely thought was ugly, it must have been when I was a kid and I started seeing people that didn't look like anyone on TV or like my family. I don't think I've seen anyone that I thought was actually ugly or "disgusting."
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 03:02 AM
2

Marriage rate will remain the same or decrease. I agree first world countries will be more affected that third world countries. I do not think this will help pro-lifers because multiple forms of contraceptives exist and are available now yet pro-lifers still make a big fuss. Some pro-lifers are anti-contraceptives too. I think pro-choicers will advocate for this contraceptive form. Sex will continue to be looked at positively.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 03:00 AM
1

To me, physical attractiveness is "most" important at the beginning as an initial "oh, you look like my type" but after that personality is most important. But, for physical attractiveness: good looking face (I can't pinpoint any features other than blue/green/hazel eyes just because thinking of the different guys I've dated, they all looked so different), and great arms.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 02:56 AM
1

He might be. I can't visualize 150 lbs in 5'11 so I guess if you look like a healthy weight, you may be above average?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 02:53 AM
2

But what if some men just want sex and not relationships? I don't think advocating for men to lie to women is the best way to solve this
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 02:51 AM
3

I was talking about posts on Reddit.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 02:41 AM
1

The men working overtime to pay for feet pics and bathwater...y'all got your own thing going on. I don't think this is necessarily a response to men having a hard time dating. Their just weirdos enjoying weird things. Good for them? So, I don't think your example really highlights the difficulty men are having with dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 01:26 AM
2

Men and women will speak about their terrible personal experiences before and more often than their positive experiences (because positive experiences are being experienced, no need to come to reddit and take time away from that positive experience).
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 01:23 AM
1

I think women will want to be with someone who is as educated as them or can at least keep up with them. I'll have a doctorate but it doesn't mean I'm only going to date men who also have a doctorate. I personally value education whether you receive it formally or not so I prefer who has an interest for learning and educating themselves and can keep up with me. Also, most relationships are formed through shared circles like work or church, friends, hobbies so for ex. if they met at work, most li…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/21 06:34 PM
1

Because the men who ask for "men's rights" tend to mix issues that are inherently misogynistic with issues of unequal jail time/lack of resources for male victims of rape/etc that are actual male issues to be worried about.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/21 03:44 AM
1

I think of their action as being pretty disgusting. I only have 1 friend who has cheated. I told her she should break up with her boyfriend before moving on to other guys, especially since her boyfriend has expressed to her how insecure he is about himself. If he found out, it would wreck him I think. I don't think I'll stop being her friend but I probably am going to continue to distance myself until she does leave him, especially since she has no other good reason to still be with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/21 03:41 AM
2

Hmm no this isn't true.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/21 03:38 AM
2

I hope not. It's okay if they do, but doesn't and shouldn't necessarily assume it is interest. (I'd rather have them just ask). I'm going to be kind to people whether I'm interested or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/21 03:37 AM
2

Nah, most problems in modern relationships are due to communication issues and difficulty/unwillingness to confront
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/21 03:36 AM
3

That seems a bit selfish on their part if they're consciously aware of it. Otherwise, if I wasn't planning on dating them in the first place, the advice could still be useful in finding someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 05:45 PM
2

Deny...what? lol
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 05:22 PM
1

So in my personal social circle, it hasn't been more or less socially acceptable to have preferences. My friends and I don't roll our eyes if a guy friend has a preference for the type of girl he wants. That's his choice. Same with my female friends. I think both men and women can have unrealistic expectations of what a perfect partner is but hey, dating is a learning experience .
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 05:21 PM
3

That's just unfortunate :/ Just because my male friends are attracted to me does not mean I owe them anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 05:17 PM
1

I like being a "strong" woman, but I don't necessarily have to be strong in all aspects. I don't think about it as "I have to be weaker than my boyfriend." My boyfriend is physically stronger than me, no doubt, but he also doesn't necessarily have to be strong at all times when it comes to other aspects either.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 03:57 PM
6

Nice job on using 1 person's personal decisions and values to dictate your understanding of your world. :) Enjoy life!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 04:58 AM
6

Yep, that's what happens when you make friends. You classify them as friends! And I do not date friends as I've explained before. If I'm dating someone else and make a new friend, I'm not going to NOT be their friend just because they're "alpha male" type lol. But once they're my friend, they will only ever be my friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 04:11 AM
1

It's not worth lingering on the "what ifs" (though I know it's hard not to do!) You learned something valuable from it and you'll 100% use it in your next relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 04:08 AM
1

No way. It's so endearing to me to see my boyfriend express his emotions. It doesn't matter to me if he's crying because he watched a sad movie, felt a surge of luck/happiness being with me, or because he's struggling with something. I express my emotions often and feel happy when he does the same with me. It makes me feel like we're actually partners, talking through struggles and bad days. Or just comforting one another. Him crying would never destroy the relationship for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 04:00 AM
1

That's where communication becomes key. I'd rather he and I talk about where things are going "wrong" in the relationship and try to come up with realistic goals and solutions to them before rushing to break up.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 03:57 AM
5

Just because I don't want to date my friends? Ever consider that some women choose not to date their friends because friendships have dynamics. If I date a friend and the relationship ends, it has an impact on not only our friendship but our friendship with our mutual friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 03:53 AM
5

I've always been broken up with but that's also because I'm a "fixer." But with both these guys, once they broke up with me, /I/ wasn't going to take them back, even if they felt their decision was a regret.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 03:35 AM
4

Yes they can. I would never date or have sex with any of my male friends. I have male friends that are very attractive, strong, smart, make or will make the same amount as I do, etc. but I've already classified them as "friend." The thought of dating any of them feels weird! I've never used the words alpha or beta to describe my friends or partners lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 03:33 AM
2

Not a HS romance but most of my HS + friend group went to the same university so I kind of consider the whole time period to be the same. I experienced my first love my first year/first semester of university. I think it would have been cool to have a romance in HS because that's when I was really into YA romance books and wished at the time that I could experience it just I could live out the YA romance tropes lmao. But, it would not have been a productive or happy relationship imo. I wasn't in…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 03:26 AM
1

RPers dislike careerist women because these women are smart, ambitious, usually go for men that are not RPers. This makes them think that these women view them as inferior and their egos are hurt.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 02:45 AM
1

Hypergamy is also written like it's a curse word on this sub though. Like it's a bad thing. There's also an assumption that as soon as someone better comes along, it's in a woman's nature to cheat. 🙄. I'm sure some do but maaaayyybe that's individual behavior?? It makes sense that most humans would want the best for themselves. Is that hard to believe? But if some famous hot celebrity suddenly took interest in me, I'm not suddenly going to drop my boyfriend and run off into the sunset with a new…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 02:44 AM
0

I think when I was younger, yes I felt there was a pressure to be more active on social media, take pictures to update my life so it looked like I actually had a life, and that I looked good. Now, that I'm older I don't think that anymore. Like I know that social media only shows one aspect of a person's life and that the beauty standards held up by social media aren't beauty standards I need to abide by. But I don't think the unhappiness is because of feeling unattractive only? That's just a sy…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 02:30 AM
1

Whoever told them that is not a good person! And men who choose to be liars because they were told to be that way are not good people!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 06:26 PM
1

If I were to see someone in public that I don't know, attraction > personality....for a bit. As soon as I'm talking to them and see what they're like, attraction fizzles really quickly. It doesn't necessarily mean that they're terrible people but I could see them as a friend rather than a partner. Attraction is important for some people at the beginning but there HAS to be something else to sustain the relationship past the "honeymoon" phase, and that usually is compatibility in personalities, v…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 05:57 PM
1

Sure, which is why we see women complain about men who call themselves nice but were nice at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 05:54 PM
1

Then she'll just have keep vetting guys till she finds the one she's attracted to and shares the same goals/values with. Just because she didn't find him on night 1 doesn't mean she won't find him later on if she keeps looking
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 12:18 PM
2

you can marry someone without wanting their money lol. I make more money than my boyfriend but I would still like to marry him in the future. No amount of money or success is going to make me want companionship less in this life. I don't need his money to buy or fix things. I want someone to be on and by my side. It's going to be a long life (hopefully) and I'd like a partner to go through it with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 02:37 AM
1

Yup. OP claims the behavior of women made actual nice guys turn into "nice guys." Sounds like they weren't nice guys to begin with.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 02:31 AM
2

"actual" nice guys who become "nice guys" were never nice to begin with. Women have the right to complain if the guy they were interested in ended up being douchey just like you have the right to complain in your post. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 02:30 AM
9

Wait, in your example, she's already getting guys she finds attractive but they're in it for a different reason that she is. Clearly, she's attractive enough to attract the guys she's interested in. She just has to filter through those guys for a while till she finds one that's for her. Choosing not to date guys that you find unattractive isn't thinking that anyone is "inferior." It's important for some people to be attracted to who they're dating and that's okay. It doesn't mean anyone is infer…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 02:25 AM
3

What if you went back in time with the red pill mindset and STILL didn't "pull"? How would you reconcile then? Why is it important to you that you are HER first? What makes you value that so much? I can respect you not wanting to be with women who didn't want to be with you before. But are you the same person you were when you were 16? When you're 30, are you going to be the same person you when you were 24? For example: I wouldn't have dated my boyfriend two years ago if I met him then (and he …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/21 11:19 PM
2

The values you present are sooo subjective. Have you been on r/loseit or any weight loss subreddit? The men who work to lose their weight are incredibly attractive, even the ones who claim to not have reached their target goal.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/21 05:43 PM
3

I heard about the wolverine one. Sad, if they want unrealistic male bodies, that bad just used animations. Audience members are not going to notice the difference between shirtless dehydrated Chris Evans and hydrated shirtless Chris Evans.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/21 03:57 AM
-1

Yeah, I would say this is closer to my experience. I'm not going to set the bar for any random guy I meet. It's going to be guys that initially attract me through their appearance or charisma and of those men, it'll be based on whether they meet what I'm looking for in a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/21 01:23 AM
-1

Appearance is the first thing that makes me make the first move but yeah personality is what helps the decision. A hot guy that doesn't know how to talk isn't as attractive as a "less physically attractive" guy who is confident and cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/21 12:29 PM
2

Read my 2nd sentence. I don't think women doubt that smaller men are stronger. OP asked is women prefer larger men because they think they are stronger. I said no.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/21 12:22 PM
1

No we don't. Women's choice to be with bigger men is individual choice and acceptance through media as the more attractive man. I don't think women are doubting that smaller men are strong, but the strength alone may not be attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/21 12:10 PM
0

Depends on the context: so my preference for a first kiss is that the guy asks before he kisses me (or I'll ask if I want to kiss him). Whether he's attractive or not, if he does not ask, I think it's creepy. I know many people wouldn't agree but that's just me. I've had "unattractive" (to me, though they're probably attractive to others??) guys that I've gone on dates with ask to hug or kiss me on the first date. I did not think it was creepy at all. I also didn't think it was creepy because I …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/21 12:43 AM
2

I have never experienced this. I have only had sex with men who met my standards and have never cheated so nothing to regret.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 06:11 PM
1

I think there's a misconception that you only ever have one peak in your life. And your peaks do not have to have the same amplitude as others (especially if you consider someone else's successes as a comparator). It's sad to me that some people seriously think that their college years were the highlight of their lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/21 07:57 PM
1

Wait, are you calling me an incel or the person who posted? 👀
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/21 03:55 AM
1

But this sub makes women who "vet their partners" seem like prudes. How dare she make him wait a few months or till marriage? How dare she have standards? And then when the guy leaves her "how dare she choose a terrible guy?" Why are these men so crappy in the first place?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/21 03:54 AM
2

I don't if the whole generation has settled for it but I'm sure people have personally settled for it. Someone else mentioned it but technology has made us less likely to learn and know how to deal with confrontation.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/21 08:55 PM
1

I've never dated anyone I considered a friend first (meaning everyone I have dated was a stranger initially) but that's just me. I have four other friends who also have only dated "strangers" and never friends. I would attribute this to OLD
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 02:05 AM
1

I don't agree with the title but yeah of course a date where two people act like they like each other will become successful. Does not necessarily have to do with sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 01:45 AM
7

Then by your argument that this is reality, women aren't being "lazy" by no longer being the one that's approaching. That's just reality...
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 09:10 PM
1

No, I don't think it would be "widespread" but I also don't think it will be looked down upon if it does occur Also the first line, there's already evidence that women were hunters too rather than always being gatherers.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 05:54 PM
3

I had the opposite of your description. I thought for the longest time that I was pretty ugly because I used to overweight and had features that I didn't like about my face or body. But when I started OLD, I felt like I ended up with guys that I thought were waaaay too attractive for me who would say I'm beautiful or genuinely want to see me again or date me. I don't really rate men or women though, just because it's just so subjective. Maybe the guys I find attractive aren't attractive to other…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/21 09:24 PM
1

I love it a lot. I don't believe it is incentivizing people to not pursue relationships but to be better in relationships. If you can't enjoy your own company, you will be relying heavily on your partner to fill in that empty space. Well, your partner has their own life with friends/family/obligations they need to fulfill. You should absolutely strive to be the best person you can be emotionally, mentally, physically (to your capabilities/resources).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/21 09:20 PM
1

Lmao what about "he didn't want to date ME because of distance" doesn't make sense for you?? 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 01:28 PM
2

?? I'm not sure where you're going with this. It's like you're reading it and your mind just refuses to believe it. I didn't reject him. I've done long distance before and wouldn't have minded but once HE realized long distance would be a difficult way to start a relationship, he didn't want to date anymore. Totally fair of him. But I wasn't rejecting him based on height -more on the lack of development in our relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 01:20 PM
2

Haha I didn't reject him though??
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 01:11 PM
2

You're really not, I promise you. This is only personal experience, but one of the best couple dates I went on was with a 5'5 guy. Idk how to categorize his looks as average or good to all people but I thought he looked okay. The only reason we didn't pursue it further was because we lived in different cities that are hours away from one another. So 5'5 is not an end all be all imo
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 01:05 PM
2

Are you 6'3 with a bad personality? Because you could just have a low opinion of other men with those features and assume that his personality has nothing to do with why she's with him. She might be interested initially by his looks but there's nothing else keeping her there
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 12:57 PM
1

Sure, your personality is shaped by the experiences you had but that means you want to stop there. You are able to influence your thinking with self-reflectipn, or therapy. Because you could improve your looks and be super hot but women (or men) aren't going to be interested for long if you're closed off, 100% introverted, not conscientious, and have poor self-esteem (feeling constantly jealous, worthless, and thinking and saying to your partner "why are you even with me?")
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 12:39 PM
4

He doesn't have to and if he's not interested in women who plays "coy", he knows who to avoid in the future
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 03:17 AM
2

He had mentioned wanting to get more in touch with his Irish background so I bought him a book of old Irish fairytales. I also signed him up for a library card so we can spend more time reading together instead of watching TV
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/21 09:01 PM
5

I like to buy my boyfriend things because he talked about it and I know it would make him really happy if I got it for him. This includes books, clothes, food, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/21 08:42 PM
1

To what extent does personality matter? This is very important to me. I find my boyfriend attractive but in our 60s and 70s, our looks will fade but at least I will still be married to someone who is kind. What do you think constitutes a good personality for dating as a man? What do you think constitutes a good personality for dating as a woman? The answers to these might be different for who answers. To what extent can less-than-ideal looks be overshadowed by personality? I for sure think it ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/21 08:41 PM
1

--Do you think your male friends want to have sex with you? Why/why not? Why do you think the way you do on this question? I don't think so because I assume if they want to have sex with me, they would make a move to ask me out or something. I highly doubt that a male friend who DOES want to have sex with me will constantly think about it while around me. I'm pretty sure I would pick up on that. And if the reason they haven't asked me out is because they think or know I will say no, then I'd hop…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/21 08:35 PM
1

Do you want male friends? Do you specifically want some of your friends to be men? --If so, why? If not, why not? Sure! I don't not want male friends. Why? I don't have any reasons tbh. I want friends whether they are men or women. People I can learn from and have fun with. --Do you seek (or have you ever sought) male friends? Or do they seek you out? Yes, I have when I started grad school. But more to just get along with the friend group that was already forming. A couple of male friends have b…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/21 08:26 PM
6

That is horrifying. I experienced something along these lines in 2 of 5 dates. I think it's partly because we're in an "extended winter" and people want to shack up with someone till we can go out again. Doesn't excuse this behavior though.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/21 04:15 AM
1

I think a freeloader
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/21 07:26 PM
2

good match is going to be different for every mother. whether he ends up with my definition of good match is not really my business because he has his own definitions. I may not care about whether he ends up with a beautiful woman but may care that he has someone who is intelligent/caring/has a job but he might prefer a beautiful woman over all that (or a beautiful woman who has all that). I can give him whatever advice/info I can, the rest is up to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/21 07:24 PM
8

Divorce "rapes" him? Ok lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/21 09:13 AM
1

Q1-Is ''John Shaming'' (guys paying for sex) mostly a Western thing? No, I'm from an Asian country (moved to the US) and it's culturally looked down upon to pay for sex. Q2-Do you really think it's about paying for sex the problem (prostitution) or the reason/context he paid for it? Not really. Whatever the reason, the same act occurred (PAYING for SEX). Q3- Why do girls think it's ok for them to have a sexual past/history they want to move on from (high N-Counts, threesomes, bisexual fun, swing…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 01:56 PM
1

I think what we can agree on is that they are sociopaths. Men who have alternate ways to expend their pent up "pressure" still rape women. Wealthy, educated men still rape women (and children). So I disagree that rape is a "snap." It's a deliberate choice. Rapists stalk their victims until they're alone. Otherwise, more men who "snap" would be attacking women in broad daylight, in public. "Motives behind rape vary and are difficult to quantify. However, studies show that rapists have some common…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/21 11:39 PM
1

I am saying that controlling them takes a toll on our mental health. It takes a toll on your mental health to not control yourself? It takes a toll on your mental health to not attack or rape a woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/21 07:35 PM
26

I mean is it hard to believe why it didn't work?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/21 02:39 PM
3

Yes, boys should abstain from sex if the partner they want to have sex with doesn't want to have sex with them. I mean if walking away and averting their eyes is what works for them, kudos I guess. I think it's completely okay to mentally acknowledge that a woman is attractive if they think so but leave it at that. Just because a man finds a woman wearing yoga pants in walmart sexually attractive doesn't mean he will pounce on her if he doesn't look away lol. Because what are you saying his urge…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/21 02:11 PM
1

Maybe lower their unrealistic/impossible standards? And that depends from women to women. For ex. I could wait and wait to get a Chris Evans type or I could think the Tom Holland types are handsome too. But probably wouldn't lower my standards to the Seth Rogan type. (Note: these are just examples. I personally think all 3 men are handsome). So I would still end up with someone I find super attractive (+assuming they meet other reasonable standards I have). Or I could just continue to wait for t…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/21 01:33 PM
7

That's horrible :( pretty much my experience growing up too
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 11:41 PM
19

I think it is bonkers to blame women for being attacked by men who are unable to control themselves. It is bonkers to blame women for men being attracted to them. A woman could be wearing the least flattering outfit to her figure and still be sexually attacked. We can stop men from blaming women by educating them. Now and those that are young. Educate them that though they may feel sexual urges towards certain women, they are not entitled to them. Just because a woman is "tempting" does not mean…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 11:06 PM
1

Like I said, I don't know a ton about this substance but studies are mostly focused on male impotence than female. It could be that men are seeing more impacts of this substance in their lives or studies have not been done in women exposed DEHP. (https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0013935115000584?via%3Dihub) I don't mean "you" as in you personally haha.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 09:38 PM
1

Adam Driver, Benedict Cumberbatch, Seth Rogan, Shia LaBoeuf maybe Tom Hiddleston? some people say he's unconventionally attractive but i think he's just straight up attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 09:16 PM
2

If the friend-zoning is happening from a good place (she/he is just not interested in the other and does not stake any claim to this person), I think it's fine. But the person who was friend-zoned is 100% entitled to leave the friendship completely if it uncomfortable as they don't owe the person they were interested in their friendship.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 09:12 PM
1

Even if women are having casual sex, they are still choosing their partners right? There is still a risk of pregnancy or other kinds of harm but she still had to vet the guy somehow.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 09:10 PM
3

Please say it louder for those in the back. Your life is only as miserable as you let it be. If you put sex on a pedestal and don't get it, congratulations, you and only you have made yourself miserable. I don't think a lot of kids are taught to do this anymore but you must learn to widen your social circle somehow.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 09:07 PM
1

I don't know a ton about this compound but I believe it has more of an impact on male impotence than female. Also like someone else said, "maybe she's just not that into you."
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 09:05 PM
1

I think I've commented before on legalizing. I mean decriminalizing. I would never want to make it easier for sex-traffickers to get away with what they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 09:02 PM
1

Like someone else commented, I have never added someone on Facebook or Snapchat for the purpose of dating them. In fact, if a man asked for my Snapchat, I know he's not looking for anything serious. But on the topic of assertiveness, I'm only more forward when I know I like the guy. With my current boyfriend, I asked him to kiss me on our third date because we had chemistry and we were physically close but I could tell that he was nervous to go for it. Other dates where it seemed the guy was phy…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 09:01 PM
1

But it makes sense right? If you're not planning on seeing this guy for more than one night (or however many times you meet up), you don't really need him to be anything other than attractive to you. I prefer attraction + intelligence + kindness because I plan on talking to him as well but I can see why this might not be important to other women. But obviously, it does not mean I would have a relationship with him because there are other things that need to line up for us to have successful long…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 08:58 PM
1

That's a good point. I help my friends choose their pictures and prompts for their dating profiles if they ask. It definitely helps to get an outside perspective
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 08:53 PM
3

I don't go to clubs, bars, parties often unless it's with friends to hangout with friends. There were a couple times where I had chemistry with a guy from a bar or a club but I personally am too scared to leave with a stranger so I just go back to my friends. There are a lot of people that go alone to bars and clubs and they'll just join groups that are already dancing or hangout at the bar. I've never done this though so idk what they're doing.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 01:30 PM
2

It could be an appearance/personality thing? I'm not sure. A friend of mine says that when she's on Tinder looking for a hookup, she does it only based on looks (which I suppose makes sense bc it's not like she's getting to know him in anyway other than physically) but for me (when ONS was something I wanted to try), I wanted someone kind, intelligent and attractive because I'm not meeting up with them only for the sex. I also want to have a good conversation with someone I would enjoy talking t…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 03:47 AM
1

Well, it's not :) To actually answer your question: there will probably be some government program to set up "dates" or whatever to help men and women who still require this need and need assistance. (I think towns in Japan set up speed dates like this bc of declining birth rates). But you can't force sex from men or women so it'll still have to be a choice. Another option is legalizing prostitution. Either way, just like how healthcare is a commodity, so is sex and you will have to pay for it o…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 03:34 AM
1

Do you really think sex is as important as running water and shelter...? You have placed that much importance to have it in your life?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 03:22 AM
1

I assume but I'm not sure. Maybe some women have just as rigorous standards with a FB as they do with a serious BF, maybe some women don't care.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 02:08 AM
1

"Lonely in a crowded room" is a sign of mental illness such as having social anxiety. With therapy and medication, this is something you can treat. If this is something someone feels, there is something they can do about it. It's not a easy fix, but it's a start. Hmm, the love may not be different between platonic and romantic love but if you are unable to get romantic love, platonic love is still available and possible. I'm really not sure what you're getting at with "sex has literally no effec…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 02:06 AM
5

I'm saying women who rode the carousel are damaged goods. Why is a woman who has had a lot of casual sex considered damaged goods though? What about her is damaged? Expecting more time or investment from any man than you required from any other man who fucked you. Why is not allowed to demand all this, just because she has had sex? I think anyone who has (or hasn't) had casual sex expects more when they are settling down with someone - because LTR/marriage/etc. is usually started with the expect…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 01:30 AM
1

I'm an introvert. I do enjoy meeting people and socializing but I have a "social meter" that runs out pretty quickly. When I used to date, I just used it as an opportunity to meet people rather than an expectation that I will get a perfect relationship out of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 10:17 PM
17

The problem with your argument is that you are saying that every single person on this earth who has had sex is "damaged goods." What is demanding full price? Are women who have had sex supposed to expect less in the relationship because they have had sex? It does not logically make sense. Why are you assuming that she did something for one man and not another? Why are you entitled to receive something from her outside of the expectations in your relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 10:16 PM
1

Hahahah I don't really label my partners like that
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 04:17 AM
1

Not sure! I never kept track of the time before realizing this side of reddit existed haha
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 02:37 AM
1

how is her not going from A to D a argument? The reason this is important: a woman with D cup is considered more attractive in studies compared to women with an A cup. A woman going from an A cup to a slighter bigger A cup isn't going to have heads turning her way (more than usual). Women get implants for many reasons but that doesn't really have anything to do with your pill argument. 1 thing is not that big in the see of creating women that overestimate their value and become often extremely e…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 02:35 AM
2

Bezos, Zuckerberg and Musk seem like creeps to me tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 02:04 AM
1

Yikes, who hurt you? I don't think I had sex with my boyfriend until about 5 weeks in (~10-15 dates in). I had my mind set on having a relationship so it was important to me that we develop an actual relationship first before jumping into the physical stuff. I got lucky I think having someone who respected my space and waited till I was ready
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 01:52 AM
2

I don't like being weaker than my boyfriend tbh. I want to be stronger but I know I won't really be as strong as him.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 01:49 AM
2

many man lack testoreron where did you find this #? Because most men in their teens to 45 have normal testosterone. I don't deny that hypogonadism exists but I would not label that as "many men." Even if you consider than men over the age of 45 have a decline in testosterone, I would not start with microdosing 14 year old boys with T. So I think at least recently we have a epidemic with low testosteron man, also them not getting enough sports and lots of overweight lowers their testosteron level…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 01:46 AM
3

intelligent women don't want attractive guys?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 01:32 AM
2

Your first paragraph is incorrect. This whole argument is incorrect tbh. Birth control pills do help with acne (if you choose the right one) but depending on the progesterone component (whether it is a 1st generation or 4th generation), it can WORSEN acne. It helps regulate periods and decrease cramps. Birth control pills are more likely to make women GAIN weight because they are constantly on the 2nd half of their menstrual cycle ("the pregnancy cycle") so cravings are usually high. This is why…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 01:30 AM
1

Yes, I think more men shame other men for having smaller penises than women do. I think you could go to any post about small penises and most of the comments criticizing are from men. I also don't know many women who prefer really large penises so I've never heard criticism about smaller penises irl before
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 01:17 AM
3

"Why is this such a massive deal these days" It should never have been tolerated. I'm sorry she had to experience that at all. It's a massive deal because it is a sign of disrespect. If I'm in the workplace and my male coworkers harass me, it's uncomfortable because they are viewing me as a sexual object rather than a coworker or a peer. When I was 18 or 19, I volunteered at a hospital pharmacy and one of the technicians flirted with me every chance he got. I told him I had a boyfriend to make i…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 07:49 PM
–

Haha that's fair. I do ask a guy for his last name before I go out so I have his Facebook to send to friends or family before I go out. I've never had a guy ask me though
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 04:57 PM
–

I don't want anyone to find where I live or work. You never know how dangerous people are
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 04:53 PM
–

I agree, I wouldn't want tinder to have that info
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 04:53 PM
–

Seems like a good idea to me. It's an opportunity to keep users safe. But idk how they plan on keeping people's identities anonymous anymore though. would you need to provide your SSN or something? How would they do this for international users?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 03:41 PM
1

Nope. I've had so many friends just wait for the right guy and get married to them. It's not necessary. For some people, they want that freedom to experience having sex with different kinds of people.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/21 08:05 PM
1

But wouldn't it make you feel worse knowing that her hooking up with you + other guys makes you even less special that you thought? What about finding women with similar values?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/21 12:05 AM
1

But why is the assumption that she is the only one hooking up with others and asking a guy to invest time? Aren't both parties expecting this from one another?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/21 05:22 PM
2

If that IS her strategy, hopefully it works for her. At least if she is hooking up, she got the attractive guy she wanted
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/21 04:38 PM
-1

I think it's unfair to assume that just because a woman has tried hookups means that she will continue to want hookups.... Who are you to say that all or most women are lying on her profile?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/21 04:37 PM
-1

I guess that is just your experience then. I and other women I know that had to post that on their profiles intended to keep those seeking hookups away from us but I suppose the meaning behind it is individualized.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/21 03:32 PM
1

I think I've matured a bit to understand that there is no such thing as a perfect partner and I should never expect anyone to be. Appearance: Not THE most important thing, but I'd rather date someone I find attractive than not. Face (eyes, nose, lips) and build are more important to me than height. Personality: kind, thoughtful, and helpful. Not a judgmental type (I do enough of that so it's nice to have a partner who will mellow out my anger or feelings of injustice). must have hobbies of his o…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/21 03:10 PM
1

As a woman, I've only gotten lucky in finding a decent, LTR boyfriend ONCE on tinder. And this was pretty early on - back in 2014. After we broke up, I tried going back to see if the app would work again for me but it just had SO MANY people on there at that point, you had to dig for a very long time before you got to someone who was decent and could hold a conversation. I would recommend Hinge or Bumble over Tinder...maybe even Coffee Meets Bagel (those are the only other ones I've tried) Edit:…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/21 03:01 PM
2

I'm in my 20s and I remember at one point I also had to advertise that I wasn't looking for hookups but realized that a lot of guys are swiping and not reading lol. It's no wonder women on these apps have such a stringent filter...you just never know
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/21 02:58 PM
1

I think so....I assume that women that post "no____, _____, and ______" are only from experience trying to weed out the men who have previously tried to hit her up that fit those categories. I checked out that sub and a lot of the pictures say, "I'm not going to hook up with you, I'm not looking for something casual, the last thing I want to do is fuck you" and the comments on profiles that say this are pretty vicious (usually because of her age or looks) as if she's too picky. But you have to c…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/21 02:46 PM
4

Yeah, it's pretty great when you continue to have a positive outlook on your life, even so late in life. I believe he lost his wife many years ago and probably could have thought he was too old to try again with someone else but I'm really glad he didn't think that. Seems like having her in his life revitalized him and added years to his life. :)
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen10/03/21 01:24 AM
7

I just met a 95 year old man who recently married a 75 y/o woman. It's never too late :)
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen10/03/21 01:19 AM
1

Wait, I'm confused at why there are all these negative comments. It looks like she's looking for a friendship + someone to smoke with (or someone who has access to weed). Why are people here upset that she doesn't want to fuck?
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen10/03/21 01:17 AM
11

I think like other women are answering, I personally think my boyfriend is hot but I don't think other women in my life would answer the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 11:21 PM
2

I don't think it's a sign that "she's up to no good." Like someone else said, if you plan on owning property and having children together or sharing a bank account, you need some legal paperwork. If you choose not to, good for you, but you don't really need to shit on people who prefer to get married and have legal documentation
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 11:20 PM
1

I don't think the advice is meant to be dehumanizing. It's just the growing trend of avoiding confrontation. If you personally don't find those mistakes to be offensive to you, it's okay to wait. For some people, they'd rather not because the mistake seems to be a reflection of the other person's character.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 11:18 PM
1

I think many "unattractive" women are actually not that unattractive. You might consider unattractive has obese or something but she probably still has a pretty face
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 11:14 PM
2

It honestly depends on what the person on the app is looking for. If a woman is looking for something casual, she's going to use a lot fewer filters. Like I would probably just want an attractive guy because it's nice too look at someone who looks nice if you're not emotionally invested. But if I'm looking for something serious, I am going to have way more filters so I can delete any guy that doesn't meet the criteria of the partner I want in my life (or delete any guy who has criteria that I kn…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 11:12 PM
1

If women get angry at you for giving them space, it could be that you're just pursuing women that aren't the right ones for you. I personally don't know women like that (playing games, cold signals).
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/21 01:48 PM
1

Then why do so many bad men exist? Why do we place the blame on women for trusting men to be good people? Why are these men so disrespectful and bad in the first place? And I believe it's a false assumption that the walls filter out bad men because maybe those men are even worse and have a mask of a "good guy." You just never know with people.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/21 03:50 PM
2

I don't know if I should be shocked by what I've just read or burst out in laughter. Consider sexual logistics. A gay man and his gay partner will never be on their periods. Theoretically, sex could be around the clock. My gay male friend has to "schedule" sex with his boyfriend so his boyfriend can anal douche before they have sex. I, on the otherhand, take birth control and can actually have sex around the clock except maybe 1-3 days a month. A man is more likely to go into a higher paying fie…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/21 05:04 PM
4

I don't think harems or any kind of shared relationships will become mainstream either. I don't think it's because women feel some type of way because you could consider it on the man's side as well. If he's allowed to have more than one woman, what's stopping his S/O(s) from having wandering eyes? Unless both partners are consenting to open or shared relationships, it wouldn't work, not just because women want to feel like "she's the only girl in the world."
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/21 04:56 PM
2

I don't think this argument was well thought out either. Because if the woman shows early sexual attraction to a man, she's being a "slut" according to this sub or she's only doing it because of his looks. And if he ends up being a bad guy, well she shouldn't have had sex with him or shown sexual interest in him and should have waited for a "nice" guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/21 04:54 PM
3

That's a good thing to do.... I remember hearing about a rape case where the girl said she was too scared to say no when the guy didn't seem aware that was terrified the entire time. So the whole thing would have "appeared" consensual but one person was afraid the entire time.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/21 04:52 PM
8

Cold women who put up a lot of walls and hurdles end up pushing away a lot of good men. They also push away a lot of bad men too. Because if she wasn't putting up walls and hurdles, this subreddit will start calling her a slut.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/21 04:50 PM
1

Some I'm an ACOA so I have difficulty saying no but when I'm especially not feeling sexual and my boyfriend asks, I do mean no. But even when we do have sex when I'm feeling hesitant, it's not like I'm feeling violated or horrible. I still enjoy myself but maybe not as much as if I was initiating or was already feeling sexual. Edit: I might also need to mention that I'm in a committed relationship. If I wasn't, a hesitation is always going to be a no because I don't know that man well enough to …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/21 04:47 PM
1

When I switch to “I would kick this bitch to the curb in 2 seconds” mentality they are 10x more into me. doubt. maybe you're just interested in women who like "cold" men rather than all hot women being into psychopaths..
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/21 08:06 PM
1

They can give up if they want. I'm not going to force them to do anything. I'm never going discourage someone from finding a relationship or dating but if they choose to give up, that's their choice in the end. I have not accepted people being "losers" in other things in life. I believe with perseverance and effort you can get better at things. That doesn't necessarily mean you'll be the BEST at that thing but I'm personally not going to say that someone sucks at something and therefore they sho…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/21 01:52 AM
4

This is surprising to me. When other men try to approach me, it just validates that I am desirable to others and that if an offense committed by my partner is great enough (cheating, physical violence, emotional manipulation, other red flags), I have options to fulfill my needs (if I choose to be in a relationship).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/21 01:02 AM
2

If it's not important to you, it shouldn't have to be important. You just have to prevent the social pressure from getting to you. I didn't start taking dating seriously till last year when COVID quarantine started (bad time to start lol) but that's because I have certain goals for my future like marriage and children. My roommate and friend on the other hand doesn't value this as much as I do. For her, she would love to live with a platonic OR romantic partner in the future but for her it's mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/21 12:53 AM
1

But the truth is, most women have a binary scale when they judge men. He’s either Fuckable or not. nope lol. guys do give up really easily but i think it's because men attempt more with a lot more women than women do so they're not waiting around to see if the relationship will develop.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/21 12:50 AM
1

1) No, I don't think there are people who are "lost causes." I do not think it is healthy though to obsess over getting into relationships/dates. It's just something you try to do and if you don't succeed, you should have a social circle or family to fill in that gap of socializing + your own interests/hobbies to keep you entertained. 2) Some people struggle with dating. It could be because of their location, appearance, personality, mental health, etc. but that doesn't mean they're losers at it…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/21 12:47 AM
1

The only time I hear of career women actually being upset is when they are forced to be planners both in their career and at home. For example, her husband might help her with household chores but he might do it if she asks. "Honey, can you take the baby bottle out of the dishwasher before you go to bed?" and then wakes up the next morning to see that he has taken the baby bottle out but has left the rest of the dishes still in the dishwasher. When she asks him why he didn't empty the entire dis…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/21 12:42 AM
8

but they often have hundreds to thousands of casual sex partners are you serious lol Cite your sources
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/21 12:39 AM
1

I've never associated a fragile man as a man showing emotions as a form of genuine expression. A fragile man is basically a man-baby. The example I think of is the guy who forced his girlfriend to have their baby even though she didn't want it. The girlfriend breaks up with him and pays 1x-2x the child support owed. He comes on Reddit and complains "boo hoo, I thought she would bond with the baby and stay to take care of it. She's off having a great time and enjoying her youth while I have to do…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/21 12:37 AM
2

I'm wondering where these stats are coming from. I also went to a pretty "nerdy" university (no football team) and I had 1 relationship/sexual partner the whole time. Only 1 or 2 of my friends also had a single relationship. 90% of my friends were still single and had never had a S/O before. Which makes me wonder why this question is important to begin with.... I think it just depends on your priorities and values.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/21 10:55 PM
2

I wear makeup when I go on dates, I think it'd be really cool if my date did too. He doesn't have to wear mascara and lipstick if that's not his thing but if he wants to wear concealer or fill in his eyebrows, that's cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/21 04:36 AM
2

No it doesn't. Anyone who does everything in their life for the sole purpose of getting a partner has the right to but it seems like a dull life to me. I didn't learn to sew or embroider to get a partner. I don't intend to sew my husband's shirts or anything. I literally just make pillows. I also didn't go to college/university for 8 years to attract anyone - I did it so I have a successful career that I enjoy + can be financially set
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/21 03:36 PM
2

I don't have any reason to not believe them because I can see their girlfriends right next to them. But even if they aren't in a relationship, you can tell when someone is lying or not lying about it. You can see if they are insecure about their words or not (unless they are that good at lying to themselves). When a guy who I don't personally think is super attractive talks about a girl he was with, if he sounds confident in what he's saying, I believe him. I don't sit there trying to match his …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/21 12:37 AM
1

LOL I'm really glad these discussions have entered personal attacks. My parents are not involved in my decisions and beliefs as an adult and they don't have the right to be :) Have a great day, I'm not enjoying having a discussion with you any longer.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 05:30 PM
1

haha what do my parents have to do with this?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 05:05 PM
3

You have a life partner Emotional support Tackle problems together Larger family (if they are close with their family members) so more social support For the cons you posted above Don't jump into a marriage super quickly. Make sure you know how to communicate with your S/O and that your S/O is able to communicate as well. Not everyone has the emotional intelligence or maturity to communicate properly with their partners so...divorce. So take your time and learn to communicate. Men can also taken…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 03:46 PM
5

I have not witnessed this at all in my dating life so I can't personally speak on it. I doubt it has any impact to be honest. There are plenty of other things that are having a bigger impact on human relationships than testosterone.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 03:37 PM
1

I do like being desired but I have self image issues. No matter how many men desire me, it won't bring me happiness because it is temporary validation. So I just make sure I have other sources of happiness, like for example, self validation and self esteem. Or hobbies
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 01:59 PM
3

He just doesn't want to take responsibility for his own choices.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 01:54 PM
5

Exactly. You have all this meaningless sex but have no one to share it with. Gave up everything for a single thing. Doesn't sound like a smart move
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 03:23 AM
3

Wait... because I support women who willingly choose to do porn, I'm supporting the entire porn industry? You're reaching... When did I say I'm okay with women unwillingly doing porn, or that I'm okay with child or revenge porn? If women willingly want to do porn, do as you please but in no way does that equate to supporting the entirety of the porn industry.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 02:55 AM
5

Um, just because someone is addicted to a substance does not mean that he shouldn't be held accountable. You should not be babied and pitied because of your addiction. You should certainly get help if you are aware that you are addicted but you are still accountable for your own actions. "But I was introduced to it as a kid!" Okay, but you're an adult now with awareness that something is wrong. I don't expect you to fix it overnight or anything but hold yourself accountable if no one else is, es…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 01:02 AM
1

I do not think many women become camgirls or work on OnlyFans with the intention of "Heehee, let me prey on vulnerable men seeking intimacy." They're selling sex, a commodity they have, where demand is high. Now, it may be that the men purchasing from OF are lonely or craving intimacy but they chose to participate in this. Nobody forced them and they are not on the hook for anything if they choose to no longer pay that woman on OF or the woman working as a camgirl. You could honesty say that any…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/21 10:43 PM
1

Yeah, this would be completely okay assuming both people are okay with it. I personally wouldn't want to live in different houses or apartments but when I live with my S/O, I intend to have 2 bedrooms/2bathrooms for that reason that we both deserve privacy and time away from one another. I still want to sleep next to my S/O but the privacy and time apart is very valuable but not to the point that I need a whole separate house or apartment. But otherwise, I think this is totally okay.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/21 06:41 PM
1

I support men and women needing to do what they need to do to pay bills or have extra income, especially if it does not physically harm anyone (if they do not want to be harmed). When men purchase prostitutes, it does make me think of them as sleazy because sex is not a requirement to live another day whereas the money earned by the prostitute can be. But also, the way men who buy sex are viewed can be equivalent to how many men on this sub view women with a high "n" count /s
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/21 05:58 PM
1

"Sabotoge" usually makes me think that the person doing the sabotaging is having some self-esteem and anxiety issues. I think with OLD, people tend to believe that there is always something better out there but have to mature to realize that there is no perfect person out there for them. Sometimes you're with someone who is perfect in some ways and imperfect in some others. You'll have to communicate and compromise with anyone you're with. It takes some life experience and maturity to realize th…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/21 05:55 PM
2

1) I have never been catfished and I have never known about this happening to others personally. I have also never done this either. 2) No, I think both men and women can be catfished equally. I think the victims of catfishing or the catfishers themselves are usually more vulnerable/desperate people. 90 day fiance examples are ones that come to mind. 3) I put all the blame on the catfisher. They are intensionally deceiving another human being for some kind of personal gain (emotional or financia…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/21 05:52 PM
25

Because she has the freedom to do whatever she wants. You seem to have a low opinion of sex workers/girls working on OF, but what about the people who buy it? If you think women who participate in porn are bad, you are just as bad if you watch porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/21 05:45 PM
1

On both sides, it could be desperation, feeling like they can fix the person, thinking they are misunderstood, or the criminal is attractive
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 05:09 PM
1

You don't need to cry on the middle of a Wendy's but you can be vulnerable and emotional with friends and family like other normal people. Women aren't going to think you're a bitch for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 02:00 PM
2

I agree. but those are your standards, just like those women have their own standards. Some men actually LIKE paying for everything (the only example I know is my sister's bf so I don't think this is common but those kinds of men do exist and may meet the standards of FDS women)
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 09:35 PM
6

Also, I personally find it terrifying to reject men. I'm just scared at how they will react to being rejected
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 03:05 PM
7

My first relationship, I did not follow this rule. I would want him to call me whenever I was free but I wouldn't call him all the time when I was free because I wanted to relax and do my own hobbies. I didn't want him to drink alcohol because I didn't know how it impacted people who didn't over do it. But I was more understanding to myself when I drank. I was just very hypocritical and selfish and toxic. In my third relationship, I do. If I act or say something inappropriately or undeserved, I …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 02:54 PM
3

A successful engineer I know married a woman who worked at walmart (I don't think she works there anymore). She's definitely not a model either.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 04:39 AM
1

Most of my friends here are successful but only a couple friends I know from back home are in LTRs I would say the biggest reason they are unsuccessful is because of the pandemic, not wanting serious relationships, experiencing a breakup currently, or it's just not a priority in their life rn.. No. I have a friend here who is engaged after 1.5 years of dating and I seriously couldn't be happier for her. It's amazing to find the right person to date and then marry so good for her. I'm not jealous…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/21 09:20 PM
2

I feel like that's what people who dislike the left thinks the left wants. People want exactly what you described: a way to live within their means. But how do you do that when you earn so little that you can't reasonably do that? People can quickly say, "well, they shouldn't have made decisions to be in that position" but not everyone in the world can be doctors and lawyers. Some people have to settle for working in Mcdonald's or Walmart but they should still be able to afford enough to live, e…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/21 12:39 AM
3

Everyone has their own reasons for having or not having children. I'm glad poorer people get welfare for children but if the concern is that poor people are having too many children then what's the root cause of this? Why are there so many poor people? Why are we not making it easier for them access contraceptives?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 07:52 PM
4

I disagree. Also, people ask for consent before sex not mid-sex. And like someone else said, that's your own thing. You don't speak for "most people"
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 06:46 PM
1

"Now alot of people don't want that." Really? I feel like it's popular to think that a lot of people don't want that but I think a lot of people still DO want that.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 06:36 PM
2

I'm dating someone who fits the criteria from above but no, I wouldn't continue the relationship unless there was some medical condition that made this impossible. I don't like physical touch from anyone except my significant other so I rely on him heavily for platonic and romantic touch.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 06:30 PM
1

I think most men I see passing by are decently attractive if I really looked, even the ones that are considered "average." I do agree that whether it be something evolutionary or because of media conditioning, women are usually always more attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 06:28 PM
1

I prefer sex in a relationship because you can spend time getting to learn about one another's likes and dislikes in bed. It also feels better being caressed and held by someone you know loves and cares for you. Casual sex is doing what you know worked before and maybe being successful. It's not bad or anything but relationship sex beats casual sex for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 06:25 PM
12

I think if you're the type of person who thinks asking for consent ruins the mood, you should be reevaluating some of your priorities.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 06:21 PM
11

It's not like rich people have less sex. Rich(er) people have better access to sex education and contraceptives to ensure they don't have children
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 06:17 PM
4

No, unless there is some way to remove the fetus from the mother's body so that the father can pay for the incubation of the fetus. If that's not possible, this bill should be trashed. Here's the scenario I think of when it comes to pregnancy and abortion. My mother could have kidney failure and I may be the closest match for a kidney transplant. I love her a lot but in the end, it is MY choice whether I want to donate a part of my body to ensure the survival of another. No one can force me to d…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 02:14 AM
1

https://youtu.be/P2AUat93a8Q I'd check out this Ted Talk if you're interested in the topic of cheating. It's a devastating thing to experience but hearing her speak about it made me learn to never fully put your happiness on one person. Your significant other may die, become ill/disabled, cheat or divorce you and everything you put on them (they were your best friend, the love of your life, your therapist, your partner, etc) will be lost instantly.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/21 06:43 AM
1

I was with you till the last paragraph. I would never discourage someone from self-approvement just because technology exists to live vicariously through others. It's important for people who are unsuccessful in finding a romantic relationship to be at peace and find happiness within themselves rather than attaching their happiness to things they may not have, will have, or may lose in the future ( even if they are lucky to ever have it)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/21 06:39 AM
2

Both can be but I usually tend to think men are more emotionally unavailable because of culture. I don't know if this is actually true though. It's been 50/50 for me in my dating experience
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/21 06:34 AM
2

Yes, I would tell him exactly what I wanted to watch or what I wanted to do and he'd say "hm, it doesn't seem like the night to watch/do _____." Night after night. And yeah, it was a red flag but we talked about it more than once and we're both making the effort to make sure we understand one another. I don't want him to think that my words mean that I want control of what we do every day and I understand that he doesn't want me to think that he doesn't value my interests.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/21 03:14 PM
3

Not necessarily "women have to learn." Men can also learn to listen and come to terms with emotionally charged words.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/21 03:10 PM
1

"Bad boys" don't just have looks. The person you have described clearly does not give 2 fucks about what he does. He has confidence. So being attractive can be a plus but he's also confident. It'd be even better if he wasn't a delinquent!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/21 04:37 AM
1

Not sure I have a "too high" number in mind. I think it would depend on his treatment of women. For ex. if a guy has slept with 2 women but he treated them both poorly, I would say, "that's 2 too many."
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/21 04:36 AM
1

No, I enjoy being a woman. Not for dating reasons but I like having a woman's body, how it looks and feels.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/21 04:34 AM
1

Just because your own personal group of friends had a lot of sex does not mean the general population does.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/21 04:32 AM
2

I started dating after my last breakup (he broke up with me) about 2 weeks after because I wanted to get over him. I found a great guy in ~2 months and am in a happy, healthy relationship. This does not mean that I didn't do any reflecting in that time. I wrote down and expressed and analyzed my thoughts, feelings, and actions the whole time (and still do) so that I learn to become a better person from my experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/21 04:31 AM
1

No.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/21 04:28 AM
1

That's sad that women see men who take care of their appearance as feminine. It really shouldn't be masculine or feminine. My boyfriend for example, just started using sunscreen and moisturizer recently after I told him how sun damage could age him faster than he'd like. I don't see his use of moisturizer and sun screen as feminine. Hell, if he would like to join me in my skin care routine, it'd be way more fun to do it with someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/21 04:22 AM
6

My boyfriend responded like this a few times too. I just realized I just have to explain the "root" of the problem more clearly. For example, an argument we had was that we always watch what he wants after dinner but never what I want or we do activities he wants but never what I want. I tell him I'm upset about it. His response is, "well, let's watch what you want to tonight." But the problem wasn't watching tv/movies, it's that I don't feel represented in the relationship with my interests. Af…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/21 04:19 AM
1

You sound a bit jaded and biased.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/21 04:13 AM
1

All addictions are problems. I wouldn't say they're equivalent as women also watch porn and can develop unrealistic expectations that way. But you have to rely on the imagination a lot more in erotica. You don't have that visual stimulation in front of you. You gotta put in some work.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/21 02:20 AM
3

Maybe so but I think it depends on whether you let that insecurity rule your life or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 08:40 PM
6

Not at all! I'm not competing with or jealous of my boyfriend for his looks!! Sounds like you might be describing really insecure women? But otherwise, I have never heard that
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 08:28 PM
1

Well then I'm sorry for you if that's all you want to do with women. Good luck :)
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 08:07 PM
1

After the online interactions and the man asks you out to a first date, what does his asking you out mean to you? What does it signify in your mind? Do you think it means he cares about you or likes you? Do you think it means more than just "interest"? -On online dating, a lot of men just keep conversations going and going and I wonder whether they went on the app for an ego boost or whether they genuinely even wanted to go on a date. So when a guy asks out of the gate if I'd like to go out, I t…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/21 02:24 PM
1

My current boyfriend and I talked about dating exclusively about 3 dates in (we went on a lot of dates v early!) so a week or 2. I even gave him an out while we talked about it since I was going to move to another city soon. I think it's because we both just knew what we wanted and we saw it in the other person. It just taught me to confidently ask the other person what they're looking foe
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/21 02:04 PM
3

"They teach you that it is wrong wanting to be loved by a man." It's wrong if that's the only thing you want. The next question would be, "Do you love yourself? Can you provide yourself the love that you crave and desire?"
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/21 01:59 PM
1

What should women take from TRP? What do you wish women knew about TRP?more importantly, how would you like women to change their behavior in response to men becoming red pilled? Avoid bitter men who believe women can be generalized based on their own personal beliefs and experiences. Change their behavior by carefully listening to his words.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/21 01:56 PM
-2

The people who experience the worst experiences are the ones most likely to complain about it (either out loud or on the internet - see FDS or relationshipadvice...you would think it's an epidemic or something with the amount of posts there are complaining about their partners or future partners). Just because you hear more complaints about "my boyfriend is/was an asshole" does not mean women generally pick handsome men only. Appearance is an obvious thing to choose (and this does not have to be…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 03:00 PM
1

I wholeheartedly disagree. I'm sure my husband would want me and our kids to succeed too. If he doesn't, he's not a supportive husband. And if that was the only thing that gave him fulfilment in life, I would be very concerned. Fulfilment to me is my career and the impact I can have on my community through my career. Fulfilment to me is constantly striving to learn something new. I can't imagine my ultimate fulfilment is just seeing my husband and kids happy -I matter too and there are other thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 04:52 AM
1

Tldr but I agree that prenups are important. My intention is to do the best I can in the relationship but I have no control over my future spouse and don't intent to have control of them. So it's just nice to have a fire extinguisher that you hope you never have to use
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 04:47 AM
1

That hasn't been the case for me but thats just my own personal experience. I also don't know what my exes have experienced either so maybe we suffered together or maybe I suffered longer or they did.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 04:46 AM
2

"Creepy" is the best word to describe it. I can understand some of the men who are concerned about values possibly (what does sex mean to her in a committed relationship?) But I've also seen so many men say that it matters even if a woman has changed her values over time ("sex is a meaningful part of a relationship I have with someone I love") and that her n count still matters despite this change. I think that's bonkers
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 04:44 AM
2

Undercover superhero. The first one is dishonest. Edit: I am choosing this on the assumption that the second man is being honest with me about his life.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 04:36 AM
2

Women DO like nice men but just because a man is nice doesn't mean he has an all-access pass. Nice is the bare minimum any human can do.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 04:33 AM
2

No, it's not but I do have a harder time taking some of the arguments here seriously when sweeping generalizations are made from someone who may not have any experience in dating or a romantic relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 04:30 AM
2

I have never experienced this and my friends definitely do not pressure one another into leaving relationships they want. I don't doubt this happens but I wouldn't generalize this to all women. You could say the same thing about men too. "That girl's a bitch why are you with her?" This probably happens too but still not often enough to generalize this to all men
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 02:26 PM
1

I'm sorry that's your experience!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 02:23 PM
6

You just had a shitty girlfriend! I'm sorry to hear that's your experience with her. I LOVE it when my boyfriend opens up, no matter whether it is happy or sad. It makes me feel more included in his life.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/21 08:01 PM
3

I'm thankful that I've changed. I was a toxic person and now I'm actively trying to be a better person both to myself and others. It sucks to go through a bad relationship but it is always a learning experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 05:10 PM
3

I disagree, I think it's hard for stubborn people who like to stick to one extreme end of an argument that will refuse to understand what it's like to be a woman or man. Edit: Had to re-write my sentence because I think I had stroke in the middle of writing it it
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 12:11 AM
1

I don't think that was the question. But yeah, if anyone saw someone who is their type, of course they would be attracted to them. But that's so surface level. The question asked "how do you describe a bad boy" so I described what I imagine a stereotypical bad boy looks like (in movies or tv). It's not that I personally find bad boys attractive or that bad boys are attractive because they're bad. Like I've gone to school with some very unattractive delinquents. Their delinquency did not make the…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 09:02 PM
2

My sarcasm was probably not picked up in those words haha. It's just checking someone out or finding someone hot. Has nothing to do with wanting to have sex with them
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 02:04 PM
1

Haha maybe my partner and I are just exciting enough for another. Who knows, maybe I grow out of it. Guess I'll find out :)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 02:01 PM
3

How so? I can find a man attractive but it doesn't mean I'm going to have sex with him or want anything to do with him lol
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 06:01 AM
1

To avoid confrontation. It's scary to ask someone out. If you do it behind the protection of your little screen, you can just close out of the conversation and move on with your life rather than bask in the embarrassment of asking someone out in person and getting rejected.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 04:52 AM
1

It's very painful but no contact and time helped me move on.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 04:47 AM
1

I disagree that people NEED to embrace short term relationships but I agree with you personally that not all relationships HAVE to be that long. When I say this, I mean this in general. I'd personally prefer to have a long relationship but I also don't think that the relationship was pointless. You learn from one another, you learn about yourself, you experience new things....etc. Even my shortest relationship taught me something about myself that I could take to the next one
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 04:44 AM
1

I would go as far as it to say that it's already starting to. My friends and I talk often talk about just growing old together. No romance, no sex, just companionship in this long life. I see posts on facebook and instagram about this (memes). I wouldn't say it's in all media but people are catching on to the value of this relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 04:42 AM
1

I agree with you. I don't think of it as a privilege and I don't use sex as something transactional with my partner (I give you sex if you give me love and security...like that's dumb). I realize it's easier for me to get dates and have casual sex...but it doesn't mean I'm going to whenever I'm in the mood. And even if I did, that's nobody's business but mine. If my partner found my sexual history bothersome, that's his issue and I can respect that we might not be the right fit if it makes him a…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 04:40 AM
7

I am considered "sexually successful" but I would prefer to adopt or foster than have my own bio child. It's not a hard and fast value for me but I'd prefer not to put my body through pregnancy
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 04:36 AM
1

I'm not sure if this is true but I personally become less attracted to taken men. I don't like to share so the thought of him already belonging to someone turns me off.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 04:35 AM
1

Of course my boyfriend is a good and caring guy. He's intelligent but in about a year, I will make 2x more money than him because of my education and field. I would have all the resources I need to care for a child on my own. I don't need him for resources or his appearance. I want companionship in this life. I want to grow with someone whether or not we have children.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 04:29 AM
-2

I'd rather not spend my life with someone who I find boring :) I'd like to have excitement and fun with a life partner
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 04:24 AM
6

A bad boy is someone who is described as sexy but is a delinquent or even if he is high functioning, does risky things. No I'm not attracted to bad boys. This means I wouldn't have meaningless OR meaningful sex or relationship with them. I don't mind admiring them and swooning over them when they're on TV but I don't like risks and too many unknowns in my personal life.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 04:19 AM
1

I expect kindness and niceness from any man I interact with. It's called being a decent human. It doesn't mean a man is entitled to a sexual/loving relationship just because he is a kind. That is a basic human trait.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/21 10:33 PM
1

It makes sense but at the same time it doesn't. I'm dating a guy who may have autism and has ADD or ADHD (I'm not sure what the difference is). Both of his siblings are autistic and have ADD/ADHD. It's likely that if we have children together, one or all of the children may have autism or ADD/ADHD or both. Would I be selecting to pass on "just right" attributes? I was "picky" but I picked someone who was kind, smart, easy to talk to, someone I can learn from AND think is attractive. So I didn't …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/21 10:32 PM
2

Fall in love: -he makes me feel that I am loved -he is becoming or is my best friend -i can talk to him about anything and everything Fall in lust: -charm and appearance Edit: though I have to admit that I also fell in lust with my bf before I fell in love.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/21 05:00 AM
1

I think men are usually expected to make the first move but I've also never personally heard of women being discouraged to make the first move. I used Bumble to meet my boyfriend so I obviously made the first move and same with a close friend of mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/21 04:58 AM
2

I have dated both types of men and it was great for it's own reasons but it's just hard to continue a relationship with someone who wants to communicate everything except their feelings and someone who doesn't talk about anything. You need a healthy balance of both. You don't necessarily have to be a chatty person but can you contribute to a conversation?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/21 04:56 AM
1

Lifetime hopefully but i see some comments talking about "when the relationship gets boring." Best way to avoid that is to acknowledge that you and your partner change over the years and that your behaviors and activities need to grow with the changes.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/21 04:54 AM
3

Nope, I just saw a post from a woman asking reddit what would he the best approach to making her 30+ year old boyfriend with 0 experience with sex comfortable. My boyfriend is in his mid 20s and he has only had a single sexual experience before me. Besides, no matter how many partners you have, you still have learn about your current partner and what they like and what you like to do with them No "late bloomer" is screwed. It's just important to communicate so that no one is making the other unc…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/21 04:50 AM
1

No haha I doubt that. My roommate said that he partook in a lot of group sex so he was pretty involved with both sexes
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/21 03:30 AM
1

This common advice is not for men to get into relationships or have sex. Just have common decency to your fellow humans.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/21 02:23 AM
3

100% agree with your title (description tldr) Many "nice" or "good" guys on some of these forums are downright rotten with their views and they way they speak of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/21 02:19 AM
1

Even his physical attractiveness doesn't really matter but I'd rather he dress appropriately for the occasion. I'd like us both to dress nicely (even if it's a nice pair of jeans and a collared shirt) when we go on a date.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/21 02:17 AM
1

I don't agree with this. I think children can make a relationship more difficult but I don't see it as a business arrangement
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/21 02:15 AM
0

Disagree. A disagreeable, shameless and selfish man is unattractive (no matter how physically attractive he may be). Those personality traits you describe are not feminine. If you have a man with low self-esteem, he will not seem attractive. If he himself cannot see good qualities of himself why would anyone else?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/21 01:08 AM
1

I don't think women generally use these terms as if to say men don't. Men also say things like "my girlfriend's being such a bitch" and another girl could easily say "well I'm not". Like another commenter said, people say that about their loved ones when they get irritated or angry but it doesn't mean they're going to jump ship to the next person who has the opposite quality. Maybe this happens sometimes with SOME people but not generally
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/21 01:06 AM
0

I can agree with this. Niceness has nothing to do with it (especially since a lot of self-proclaimed nice guys are down right rotten). Self-esteem and confidence I think has a lot to do with it. I always think back to this guy my roommate told me about that was in her coed fraternity. He slept with every single man and woman in his cohort. I saw his picture and he wasn't really that attractive. Very pale skin, thinning red hair, kinda chubby. But he was just incredibly confident and charismatic …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/21 01:04 AM
1

24F. I used to shave before dates or for my boyfriend but I honestly do it for myself because I like how smooth my skin feels after. So currently, I don't do anything soley for the purpose of getting attention from the opposite sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/21 08:06 PM
6

Lol or that's the deal that she and her partner struck up. You don't have to make all these suggestions so that her libido increase for him. And it doesn't even have to be because of disgust of chores that lowers her libido. She could have replaced that chore with making the bed for example.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/21 02:01 PM
3

A lot of people who think that way only want to support an argument that fits the toxic narrative they already believe.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 07:28 PM
4

I am a woman. My primary is words of affirmation and secondary is quality time. My previous relationships gave me anxiety because I did not feel affirmed by my partner. I needed to hear that I was loved. Now that my partner and I have discussed our love languages, he tells me daily that he loves me or thinks I'm beautiful. It hasn't gotten old for me. It still makes me feel giddy and happy and affirmed. His primary love language is physical touch but he was kind of even across the board so if I …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 07:19 PM
1

Agree to disagree but do what you think is best for yourself. I just pity that if things do end up going horribly, you will just have more reinforcement for these toxic ideas. You already know this is not a good relationship to enter into so I personally think it's better to nip it in the bud. But who knows, it might end up going well. Good luck.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 07:14 PM
1

Sorry when I said "you" I didn't mean specifically you haha.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 05:26 PM
1

My follow up is why don't we encourage more men who do worry about "n" count to resolve with their innate thoughts? Does it matter whether the limerence men experience is the same limerence that women experience? I'm sure there are plenty of women who experience limerence due to sex but maybe not most. Either way, both experience an obsession with a "partner."
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 05:11 PM
1

Every successful relationship feels "lucky" but most relationships occur within workplaces or shared social spaces. Lately it's dating apps. But being in a SUCCESSFUL relationship does require an alignment of values and goals as well as maturity. You could call it luck but if you have a meticulous list of things your partner needs to have (HAS to have blond hair and a size 0 and wants kids and likes jiu-jitsu and likes anime and...etc) it may feel like "luck" when you end up in a relationship li…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 05:04 PM
1

I do not think single-mothers and feminism is to blame here. I don't think not having a father-figure in a man's life makes a "man-child." A "man-child" is someone who does not know how to confront someone (and a lot of this you can really "blame" technology. Everything is anonymous and online...you really don't have to confront anyone for many interactions now). If a man has little knowledge about confrontation, it can be incredibly frustrating when there is a conflict but he does not know how …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 04:59 PM
1

Just don't do it. It's likely that if she does that with the guy she's with now, she may do it to you in the future if she finds someone better. Also consider why you're choosing someone who is willing to cheat? Don't be desperate. Find someone who doesn't make you ask the internet "should I feel bad" before entering a relationship...
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 04:50 PM
1

The truisims are not true. I've talked to my boyfriend about it and maybe he's just more mature about it than some other men here. He knows how many relationships I've been in and how many partners I've had (not some crazy #) and he has made it clear that he is not the least bit concerned with any of the men in my past and that his focus is only on our current relationship (as long as I'm safe and healthy). I absolutely disagree with the rest of this as well. Both men and women are capable of re…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 04:48 PM
6

I have always wanted a LTR (and currently in a relationship that we have both discussed we would like to be long-term) but my future involves a lot of moving and uncertainty due to school and work. I've been on many successful dates with men I liked but there were several issues. Distance, couple men didn't want to be in a long-term relationship (1 "relationship" last 2 months before we broke up bc of this), one was only in town for the summer, and a couple other lived in another city and I didn…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 04:43 PM
-1

No and it's ridiculous to think that. I am sure there WILL be women who will choose to have children on their own if children is something they desire but don't have a partner to have them with. But just because it's possible to have a child on her own doesn't mean that many women also would like to have a partner to not only raise their child with but to share their life with.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 04:37 PM
2

I agree. On the sub, I hear a lot about how much men despise the sexual revolution and how women's promiscuity is to be scorned but men benefited from this. It's insane to me that men complain that not every single man in the culture gets to participate but then forget that women are human beings with thoughts, feelings, and preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 04:35 PM
6

Um does this really need to be said? Just because a man is kind to a woman does not mean be should be rewarded with sex. That's just basic human decency. Be kind to everyone. Showing kindness and respect IS attractive but it's incredibly unattractive if you're going at it with a transactional approach (I was kind to you! Sex please!)
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 01:20 PM
5

Short answer: no. Money going into welfare is not men's money. Both men and women contribute to welfare. Just because women are the ones capable of having children does not mean she did this alone. It takes 2 to tango. Maybe the man who got her pregnant should be more careful of who he has sex with. Men are paying taxes to supply condoms? women pay so much for other, more reliable forms contraception Also you seem to love to blame women for choosing to deadbeat but never want to blame the MALE f…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 03:07 AM
9

Educated people seem to have fewer children. It could be because they have better access to contraception (hormonal birth control, condoms, etc). I don't think this necessarily means educated/rich people have less sex...
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 02:54 AM
6

Sexlessness doesn't really matter to me. As a woman, I care very little if men around me are able to have sex. I care more about men being able to form strong relationships with people. I don't enter a relationship with sex as a goal for the relationship. And i hope neither does my significant other. I would address it by saying "reconsider your priorities."
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 02:50 AM
1

I've definitely had guys get very enthusiastic about a relationship after 1 date but it's very uncomfortable to deal with if I did not get along with them well.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/21 10:43 PM
5

I don't think most of their dating problems would vanish. You assume gay men don't want attractive, well-rounded men?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 10:16 PM
1

I personally haven't experienced the rage or aggressiveness when rejecting someone but I'm still scared when I do it
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 03:17 PM
1

Are you being coerced at work? Because I haven't. I also haven't been asked to have potentially violent sexual things happen to me for work for money either. Some context matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/21 01:56 PM
1

In a couple of years, I will make more money yearly that my boyfriend + have better benefits. I'll have a better education than my boyfriend. I'm a better planner. Although I am shy, I am better at making friends though he is better at socializing.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/21 11:05 PM
1

I don't think porn is bad but I do think it's bad for people if it becomes uncontrolled. To answer your actual question: a lot of porn is made for men and many women do end up being coerced into scenes that they are not entirely comfortable with to further their career as a porn actress. I haven't heard of women in OnlyFans and self-made porn being pitied because they're doing what they like. I've only heard this sentiment about produced porn
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/21 11:01 PM
1

I think a crude part of me thinks are that men are just always horny and don't think with their brains often but most of the time, I think of them as fellow human beings that may share many struggles that I do. I think men are scarier than women because many are stronger and more aggressive but most of the men in my life are kind and smart.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/21 10:58 PM
1

My roommate used to be in a co-ed fraternity during college and she showed me a picture of this guy who I personally did not find attractive at all but apparently he had managed to sleep with every single person (male and female) in his fraternity's cohort. I couldn't believe how this guy managed to do that considering his looks (he was on the chubbier side, v pale skin, orange hair) but he just exuded confidence and charisma and people were into that. But...he was also a competent guy (both in …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/21 10:54 PM
1

Yes I did. He was 1-2 inches shorter than me I think. And no, I did not have any prejudice. He was a really nice guy and I would have liked to continue dating him at the time but we lived in different cities and the distance was too big of a barrier.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/21 10:49 PM
1

No. To all of it. Now, many western women don't necessarily "save themselves for marriage" and that's their own decisions to make. But that doesn't necessarily make them promiscuous either. Some women are and some women aren't.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/21 10:47 PM
1

I don't know that women have made it clear that they don't want emotional intimacy....I need emotional intimacy from my boyfriend. I like communication in the relationship and I need the both of us to be able to talk about our feelings clearly so that we can grow together. I view my boyfriend as my best friend because we can frankly talk to each other. If kids and marriage were off the table, I would still look for a longterm monogamous relationship because I want to share my life long-term with…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/21 10:45 PM
1

Women have a lot more to lose (baby, culture, etc) by picking a guy that's not right or good for her.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/21 10:22 PM
1

But just like the n count, the woman is not currently having sex with her previous partners but you would be upset KNOWING how many partners she had before you. Just like that, women are entitled to feel upset about their CURRENT partner masturbating to other women DURING the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/21 09:52 PM
2

Exactly! Not sure how one is justified but the other isn't???
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 09:28 PM
1

But just many men in the sub have views about women and their n count (which is not a deep emotional relationship that is involved in the current relationship she is in), women too have issues because technically he is watching other women without her permission.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 09:27 PM
1

That's totally fine
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 09:25 PM
1

It wouldn't be better or worse. Women have a lot more to lose by having sex with men that men do by having sex with women. If women have sex with anyone that comes up to them asking for casual sex, she puts herself at risk of becoming pregnant and financially strapped for the next 18+ years. This does not mean that women desire less sex but it obviously means that women will be choosier about which man she is willing to do this with
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 07:52 AM
1

Of course it is. Sex is a benefit but a relationship is about sharing your life with someone. At least to me that's what matters to me. My boyfriend and I spoke about it earlier and he said that although he prefers sex, that's not why he's in a relationship with me. It's the ability to grow and learn WITH someone. Sex doesn't define him or his happiness. I appreciated that mindset
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 07:47 AM
1

Not necessarily. For ex, lately the dating standard is to have sex after the 3rd date but it doesn't mean women have to do this to continue a relationship with the man she likes.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 07:43 AM
2

I support decriminalization of prostitution. I haven't heard of many women enjoying this job but if that's what they have to do to make money, it's their body so it's up to them what they want to do with it. Decriminalizing would also encourage women to find safer ways to do this rather than feeling they need to hide from cops.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 07:39 AM
1

I feel bad for incels despite their awful attitudes towards women but other than getting therapy and finding a new outlook on life, what exactly is society supposed to do for them other than sympathy or pity? Society can't just provide women for these men just because they're sad, horny or lonely, especially if the woman does not want to be with him. The best society could do is provide support by helping him/her have a different outlook on life to help them realize what they can and can't contr…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 07:34 AM
1

The N count doesn't matter to me. If he has had previous partners, he'll come in with some knowledge. My boyfriend has only had one partner (one-night stand) but we still manage to learn from one another so I don't think the the number really matters. Each partner will be different so you will have to learn with them so the number of previous partners might not matter as much
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 07:21 AM
1

I didn't realize how important the N number was. I still don't think it's super important if my S/O has changed their attachment style and have a more conservative view on THEIR OWN sex lives but it made me realize that although I don't care about the number, I do care about having a partner who shares the same values as I do when it comes to sex
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 07:19 AM
1

Does she need to bring it up or would you bring it up? Would it be your responsibility since it matters to you? And in what ways would it signal to you that she's had casual sex before if she didn't outright say it?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/20 03:08 AM
1

I'm curious what many men with this opinion of casual sex think about watching porn then and whether they'd think it's valid if a woman would look down on them if they've ever viewed porn before.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/20 03:06 AM
1

And how many men is that?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/20 08:35 PM
1

It's also completely possible for a woman to change her opinion about sex overtime. When she had "meaningless" sex in the past, it probably was meaningless. But it is entirely possible for her to think differently about it when she's in a relationship. It does not mean she's more likely to cheat or look for more meaningless sex. Also, let's say YOU end up in a relationship with a wonderful woman, amazing in so many ways but has had casual sex in the past. It happened and it may not have been the…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/20 08:32 PM
1

"taking advantage" 🙄 it just sounds like jealousy and insecurity to me. If it is something that is valuable to you to know that your S/O has had a similar sexual history as you, that's fine and completely valid. As a woman, I would not be happy to hear if my S/O slept with 30 women because it would make me question their view on sex (I personally find it very meaningful as I don't let anyone touch me, even platonically other than my S/O) but I'm also not going to shame other men and women for ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/20 07:30 PM
1

No, I'm visually attracted to males. But I don't necessarily have to find the whole of them attractive if that makes sense. I might like shoulders or hands or smile or eyes but he might have ugly feet or whatever idk. Men ARE visually appealing, even the ones that think they're ugly
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/20 07:24 PM
1

No they don't because you will make up your own tells to justify your own insecurities
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/20 07:23 PM
3

-so your group of friends/acquaintances use it for ego/validation. I, on the other hand, only know women who use dating apps for serious relationships. We could both be right and we could both be wrong. I don't disagree that men and women use it for something casual or nothing at all other than validation but I don't think majority is true. -i personally think casual sex is fine but it doesn't mean I want to engage in it. I do think there needs to be more communication due to STIs and consent bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/20 07:21 PM
1

I disagree with the "anytime he/she wants it" part. No means no. Also your hypothesis doesn't make sense. A woman on OnlyFans is not lusting, she's literally just doing a job that people pay for (even though it's available all over the internet for free). She's still going to lust over her future boyfriend/husband because attraction is a part of a romantic relationship. Her boyfriend/husband is also going to lust for her. Lusting doesn't negate love. Women AND men can learn to be partners just b…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/20 07:02 PM
1

I agree. I think that if that's a concern you have in your relationship, it's more of a self-esteem issue more than anything. If your S/O had a better time with someone else, they would be with that someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/20 06:58 PM
1

I don't think "open-minded" is always the issue. Sometimes women have anxiety or depression that hinders their relationships with others. She might also not be as attractive to many men if she's older.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/20 06:53 PM
1

1 most likely. But idk what attractiveness means because an attractive guy for me probably looks unattractive to others. He might be alpha to me? (This sounds so ridiculous lol) And I'm currently with a guy who will make half as much as me when I graduate so as long as he can support himself and his hobbies/interests, I'm fine with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/20 06:44 PM
1

"a lot of men view sex as an extremely intimate act" why not a lot of women? Where did you get this information?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/20 06:38 PM
1

I mean vice versa? She probably thought of him as nothing more than an object to fulfill her desires. And yes, different men AND women play by different rules. Sex with her boyfriend/husband is not a "tool" anymore but also an expression of love and trust. My boyfriend has a 1-night stand with a woman. Both of them used each other but I don't feel that he uses me as an object. I feel loved and cared for compared to my own one night stand.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/20 06:36 PM
1

I had heard about the consent app made by the man. I didn't have a bad reaction to it because sometimes consent can be a grey area (I personally think both people should communicate verbally but some people feel awkward for some reason) but I did hear about it on a podcast series about men who don't take no for an answer or didn't hear a verbalized consent.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/20 04:26 PM
1

I think if he told me he had slept with 30 women, I'd be concerned and ask for him to get tested (I asked him even though he only slept with one person before me) because it would make me wonder whether he has an addiction, STIs, what his view on sex and relationships are currently. If he doesn't have an addiction, no STIs and currently views sex as something that is shared with someone you love, then I'd be fine with the high number. We did bring this up early on when we knew we wanted to be se…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/20 04:01 PM
1

I've never heard a woman say she doesn't like emotional men. In fact, most women I've talked to about men say that their ideal man is someone who can freely talk about his feelings with her.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/20 03:56 PM
2

Who defines equal though? How many things should be equal? My boyfriend is attractive to me but might not be to others. Once I graduate, I'll make twice as much as him. If you're talking about wealth, no we're not equal. I don't know if our attractiveness makes us equal. I don't know how to measure that. If you're talking about social support, he has a bigger family but fewer friends. I have a smaller family but more friends. Are we equal yet?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/20 03:55 PM
1

Most are but probably not all. There are scammers like Russell Hartley who is misogynistic and plays off the beliefs that most of his customers already have that women are boring and unintelligent. But there are probably good advices out there that tell you to have 5 good stories to tell, what sort of questions to ask, and how to interpret messages. (For ex, from a different reddit post, if a girl sends you a picture of her room and you happen to spot a dildo in the corner, it does not mean she …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/20 03:50 PM
9

-how do you know most women are there for free validation? Do you not feel validated when someone matched with you? -why should she choose an "ugly" man if she's only there for sex? Especially if there's no emotional attachment to it. If she was there to date, appearance would not be the only factor -some women have poor choices in men. But sometimes the behavior of men or the way men respond is so dry that there's nothing to start a relationship with. None of this means that I think dating apps…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/20 03:36 PM
3

If the relationship makes you unhappy off the bat, she's not the right one for you. That doesn't sound like a fair way to be treated
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/20 03:02 PM
5

But the background still prints as grey unfortunately so it uses up a ton of ink in each page + it's difficult to read
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 10:49 PM
16

She wrote a couple of books!!! I finished the first one last week and it was amazing. The way she writes makes you feel like you're chatting with a girlfriend 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 11:11 PM
47

I look up to Mindy Kaling. Such a successful and smart woman. She didn't get married but knew she wanted children so she went and did just that. I'm young but I know I'd like children whether or not I have a man. I don't ever want to halt my happiness and joy in the experience of my life because I didn't reach the "ideal nuclear family." I know what I want and I am determined to get it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 10:54 PM
4

For real!! I've lost about 20 lbs since last year and idgaf whether men's perceptions of me have changed. I love looking at myself in the mirror and loving what I see! ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 12:28 AM
18

I hate beards. Sometimes I get babyface-fished
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 08:52 PM
2

I have a lesbian friend who likes doing stuff like this for her girlfriend. Idk the psychology of it since I would think most people would like a sharing kind of situation
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 12:20 AM
2

What a garbage man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 01:08 PM
2

The last guy I was dating bought wine for every single date. At first I didn't mind but then I thought...why do I need to drink every single time I'm with this man? I've probably drank more alcohol with him than I have since I turned 21 (I'm only 23). It would have been something I would have brought up if we hadn't broke up
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 12:55 PM
4

Same thing happened to be 2-3 weeks ago. He definitely didn't meet 1 of 5 things I was looking for in a partner but for some reason I overlooked it because he "seemed like a nice guy" and also have some attachment issues. I had sex with him as soon as he said we were a couple and he broke up with me soon after. I feel crushed and a bit used. But never again. I know my worth and men like these don't deserve my time
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 12:48 PM
2

Standards/Expectations: Communication is important to him. It will be a red-flag for me if he is unwilling to express his emotions or thoughts. Values independence. It will be a red-flag for me if he only wants to spend all his time with me and does not value his alone time or time with his friends and family Financially independent. If he has to ask me for money, RED FLAG. Attractive. Keeps himself fit and healthy. Empathy. He must make an effort to be an understanding person because I will do …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 05:00 PM
0

A lot of people are saying to not tell him what you're looking for. But how do you avoid answering if you ask him??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 01:50 PM
3

I'm pretty young but I've always wanted kids. If I don't get married, I will foster or adopt. I don't need a man to have a big family :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 01:18 PM
14

I always consider communication to be of utmost importance in a relationship but the guy in that post did not treat her right. She was vulnerable with him and he ghosted her. The best thing for her would be to cut him out of her life and begin to heal and work on herself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 06:02 PM
11

It's like reading a post I forgot I made or something :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 04:04 PM
14

I was 10 when a grown man followed me around a mall to keep touching my butt. My skin crawls when I think about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 02:06 AM
1

I added this to my reading list. I feel like I may have this considering how much one guy will overtake my mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 03:06 AM
2

Oh no...it seriously felt like you were describing me. I just got out of a casual relationship (I wanted to be serious, he was okay with exclusive casual...then he wanted non-exclusive casual. Thankfully, I had enough self-respect to end things there) but I feel a huge loss from not hearing from him even though he was not right for me. Even before splitting up, I was constantly thinking about him. Clearly, I have a lot of work to do for myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 03:04 AM
2

I needed to see this post. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 09:17 PM
8

I fooled around with a guy before learning what he wanted out of the relationship. Thankfully, I made it clear before finding out that I didn't want to have sex that night but it definitely hurt having made myself vulnerable that night and only after finding out what he was only looking for casual dating and was dating multiple women at once. Not doing that again :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 08:11 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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