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comandeer_conflict Archive

View 0 posts and 32 comments by comandeer_conflict on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Definitely make a plan. Envision what you want on the other side and work towards that goal. Do you want 50/50 custody? Do you want more? Will the division of assets be amicable? Think about what you want for living situation? If it is a custody case do not leave the house until that is worked out. That can imply that whoever stays in the house should retain custody..
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 10:53 PM
2

The setting is what can throw people I think. Most times you are in separate rooms. You only talk with the mediator. and the spouse is in a separate room who only talks to the mediator.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 10:34 PM
1

Yes. That's my arrangement
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 08:43 AM
1

Just looking back at this conversation. Why are you paying child support if it's 50/50 custody? If it's 50/50 there's no reason you should be paying right?
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 08:10 PM
1

So after paying the 2000 is payments you would have 1000 for monthly expenses?
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 05:50 PM
1

What are you meaning when you say you will take her debts? Credit card payments and the like? Is the division of the house as simple as half the difference between what is owed and appraised value? Is there wiggle room in there for a better deal for you? I'm thinking that if you sold it you'd have to pay for a realtor and closing costs as well as possible capital gains tax(not sure on this one).
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 04:58 PM
1

Yes. It's a pain in the ass to do. But once you have all those assets written out you will have a clear picture of where you are at. They're going to want the last 2 years of your tax returns too. So if those are easily accessible you may as well drag them up so they're available when requested. Regarding the bank account, couldn't you still deposit the whole paycheck but then withdraw part to put in a new bank account? Does she monitor the bank account so closely that she would see the withdraw…
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 03:05 PM
1

Do you have an accurate assessment of exactly what the assets are and what the debts are? An assessment of everything? Retirement accounts, automobiles, all of that stuff that is worth over $500 gets listed out. That would give you an accurate assessment of where things are financially. Take a minute to set up your own separate bank account and put money in it now. As soon as you file for divorce with the court all funds get frozen. The custody piece sounds like it is a useful leverage tool to h…
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 01:57 PM
2

It sounds like the options are more money now up front for your attorney or more money later if your wife gets all of her requests. Are you satisfied with your attorney? Would it be beneficial to change?
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 01:23 PM
1

Yes I had a personal experience. It's a long story. The short version is a guardian ad litem was brought into evaluate my fitness as a parent based on fabricated lies that my ex-wife perpetrated. She continued with lies and accusations for 10 months. The guardian ad litem said he had no reason to not believe her. The meaning of that is that he didn't find her to be crazy. Her motivation behind all of the accusations was that she wanted to limit my custody of our daughter to 10%. The guardian ad …
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 01:21 PM
5

I think that's one of the things that so many of us overlook getting into a relationship. We are so in love and head over heels that we neglect to recognize the fact that we are in love with a human being who has faults. Somehow they passed all of our criteria that we put up before we allow ourselves to fall in love. Then later in the relationship when we start to realize that we married a human being who has faults those faults are brought up and never forgiven. And they're never work with, dis…
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 12:42 AM
3

What's the down side of settlement? She can keep doing this kind of thing?
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 12:38 AM
3

Why does your attorney want to settle? To save you money? That is the only reason?
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 09:08 PM
3

Have you talked to an attorney? That would be the first thing. Second thing would be document this. While it was only a phone conversation she did admit it. Record the details the time and the date. Start an app in your phone to record this kind of thing using voice to text. If there is a provable pattern of behavior that is concerning then a judge will likely listen.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 09:05 PM
5

Start documenting these kinds of things. If there is a history that you can prove out with dates and times you will have something to show an attorney or a judge. Just get one of those apps on your phone where you can do voice to text. It's super easy and can really come in handy if this behavior is persistent.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 09:02 PM
1

What about rocket lawyer? Or legal zoom? Can you find a divorce template that would work? Just fill in the blanks and you're good to go. After you print it out run it by an attorney just to make sure it's in your favor. If she wants to do the same with another attorney she can do that. But that would cost each of you maybe an hour of time
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 09:00 PM
5

Is a Rolodex of hurt a memory of every little thing that went wrong in the relationship where her feelings were hurt by you? And then she would bring it up later on to use against you?
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 08:58 PM
2

Oh man! The gal really touches a nerve! Keep in mind that they are super conservative because their employment depends on judges liking them. So they will do nothing that is risky and everything that is conservative regardless of what the evidence is. Was the guardian ad litem appointed? Or was the guardian ad litem brought in by your lawyer or her lawyer? If you are not too far into the journey with the guardian ad litem and all the requisite interviews etc you might consider asking for a diffe…
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 08:56 PM
2

Get after it! Good for you! That is important to reconnect with yourself that has been lost because of this process and the relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 08:54 PM
4

You're one in a million! LOL
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 08:52 PM
1

No doubt it's shitty. And no doubt you, like me, felt like she gave up. Take a sec and mourn and grieve. What you thought you had and what you thought would come in the future is gone and that sucks. Then get into survival mode. Ask what you want from assets you share. If kids, what you want for custody. Then every decision and action you take in the process reflects this goal. Once that's over start thinking about what your ideal future is. Write it out. Record it on your phone and listen every…
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 01:30 PM
1

DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE. If it gets contentious and you leave there is assumed custody with that sort of thing. Sucks this is happening. Realize things will happen simultaneously. Grief over the loss of the marriage, family, future and a need to start to define what your goals are going forward. What do you want from the assets and custody? Line up a support network. Family, friends, church, therapist if needed, divorce coach if needed. Your going to find out who your real friends are. When you n…
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 01:14 PM
2

Glad you have a support system and religion to lean on! For quite some time during my divorce the hour in church was the one place of respite for the week!
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 10:07 AM
0

Well done by you on divorcing before any kids are involved!
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 02:17 PM
1

Take some time to let the tears out. You're grieving. If you think a therapist would be helpful, maybe you're already talking to one, that would be one thing to think about. A divorce coach might be another to think about. There's somebody you could use as a sounding board that isn't as expensive as an attorney!
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 01:21 PM
2

Prayers with you and your wife!
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 01:09 PM
3

Sounds very similar to a covert narcissist. She tries to isolate you from your friends and family to gain control. A narcissist never accepts responsibility for their actions. They are brilliant at building plausible deniability when you start to question them. Once you're isolated they start to break you down.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 12:53 PM
3

Talk to an attorney. Sounds like a deal though. 2036 is only 12 years away. She will be 58 and you won't have to pay anymore alimony after paying off the mortgage? And child support will be long past. So you will be off the hook in 12 years? That sounds pretty sweet to me.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 09:03 PM
2

Takes time to grieve. The loss of the life you thought you were going to live. The loss of a partner I think it's natural to feel the way you do because the sex was part of that bond. The positive thoughts switching is definitely helpful. When it comes to mind focus on another positive aspect of your life. Stay strong. You will get through it!
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 08:55 PM
3

You're the established primary caregiver for the last two years. She is the primary bread winner the last two years? I don't see why she gets to take the kids from the house to her Dad's house on a whim. Why? Because she is the Mom? Start documenting every conversation you have with her. Tell her you will no longer communicate via text. It will be email only to keep a written record for you. Set up cameras in the house if possible to record some of this.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 08:47 PM
1

Maybe she's a covert narcissist. Was she all lovey dovey in the beginning? All over you? Then as time went by started gaslighting you. Saying stuff like you're too emotional, you're yelling when you aren't, claim you're interrupting, cut conversations short. Is she passive aggressive? Does she bring in third parties to make her point? Saying things like, everyone says... or no one else thinks..... Do you feel like she has brought you down? Maybe not applicable at all. But if it's applicable be a…
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 08:37 PM
2

It sucks. you're grieving the lloss of a life you thought you were going to live with this person. You're down in the dumps for sure but you need to also adapt and overcome. This will be super emotional but you gotta stay strong and focused. Have you thought about your goals during the divorce? Do you know what you want for shared assets, custody. You're going to have to drag up tax returns for the past two years. List your premarital assets and joint assets. Are you living in the same place cur…
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 08:21 PM
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