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confusedwitdating Archive

View 14 posts and 126 comments by confusedwitdating on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
266

confusedwitdating/r/seduction23/03/18 01:23 PM
33

confusedwitdating/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 01:37 AM
15

Discussionconfusedwitdating/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 04:59 PM
13

confusedwitdating/r/askTRP08/03/18 06:18 PM
8

confusedwitdating/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/18 02:48 PM
5

confusedwitdating/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/18 01:20 PM
4

confusedwitdating/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/18 01:06 PM
4

confusedwitdating/r/askTRP18/03/18 01:11 AM
3

confusedwitdating/r/seduction23/03/18 05:34 PM
3

confusedwitdating/r/askTRP13/03/18 05:26 PM
2

confusedwitdating/r/seduction26/01/18 08:04 PM
1

confusedwitdating/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/18 02:48 PM
0

confusedwitdating/r/seduction27/03/18 05:29 PM
0

confusedwitdating/r/askTRP16/02/18 01:28 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

guess u dont care about domestic abuse?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/18 02:54 PM
1

you dont think hordes of lonely men potentially becoming violent and lashing out at society like we already see to a small extent would be a big problem?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/18 03:12 PM
1

I dont have the answer--just telling you like it is in terms of what the problem with society is. Everyones always looking for something better. Being 'average' is seen as boring and unattractive by any woman under 30.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/18 03:04 PM
1

if there was a way to limit social media and hypergamys impact
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/18 03:01 PM
1

like some trash-ass unintelligent rappers have 7 children by 5 baby mamas (true story)...that is a skewed sexual marketplace that cannot sustain itself
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/18 02:59 PM
1

trashy men (tho I guess birds of a feather flock together)
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/18 02:49 PM
1

yee its just other then the mall I dont know somewhere indoors with an abundance of women (other than bars/clubs)
/r/askTRP18/03/18 03:52 AM
1

i get maybe 12-15 matches in a week. WTF
/r/askTRP18/03/18 01:12 AM
1

haha appreciated it dude
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/18 02:08 PM
1

yee You have a good point. Don't know if you saw my pic (previous posts) but yee Ive almost been insecure about my height/lankiness a lil. Guess I just gotta embrace who I am a bit more! Maybe even focus on approaching women on the taller side haha
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/18 01:55 PM
1

Well thats exactly the thing - Im NOT attractive to women lol. Despite being 6'4" I think I may have a sub-par face (plus Im a minority - black). I literally get zero signs of interest from women and my whole life have gotten the vibe they fund me ugly, but Im working against it by just lowering my inhibitions and running BBC game lolol
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/18 01:32 PM
1

I've been building up by simply giving random women compliments on articles of their clothing/general style. Overwhelmingly they've smiled and been appreciative. Baby steps because even alot of modern men can't do this because of the narrative that talking to randos - especially women - is 'creepy'.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/18 01:24 PM
1

ya but due to being perceived as ugly by women, Im so used to the ignoring my attempts to start a conversation :/
/r/askTRP14/03/18 02:15 AM
1

Im a prisoner to my head...everything tells me they find me unappealing
/r/askTRP14/03/18 01:15 AM
1

Yee I just still have a fear of approaching women for a convo like that for some reason (i.e. going slightly direct - or indirect). Working on getting over it.
/r/askTRP13/03/18 07:30 PM
1

very interesting. In what way? Just tryna be friendly
/r/askTRP13/03/18 06:07 PM
1

Yee I think Ima start doing that. Just got myself some L-Theanine actually - been reading good stuff about its anti-anxiety benefits. Just gotta throw myself out there!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/18 10:28 PM
1

I have trouble internalizing most pua advice I've read, but I'll give it a read
/r/askTRP08/03/18 08:56 PM
1

Yee well again what trips me up is I dont RECEIVE these clues (and believe me, I'm a high sex-drive kinda dude CONSTANTLY checking out women)
/r/askTRP08/03/18 08:53 PM
1

how? All Im suggesting is that I've received conflicting advice on attractive facial positioning.
/r/askTRP08/03/18 08:46 PM
1

I dont really smile out in public like that. So Im always receiving conflicting info - I should smile and seem open/friendly, or I should not smile and keep a mysterious demeanor. Nothing works for me.
/r/askTRP08/03/18 08:41 PM
1

Its the other way around. You need social status for women to fall all over you. In my case my creative outlet is making music...it definitely helps take my mind off the fact that my whole life Ive basically been seen as a fuckin loser
/r/askTRP08/03/18 08:40 PM
1

I meant accruing a certain amount of social status
/r/askTRP08/03/18 08:36 PM
1

mehh I dunno, I think a smile would be the best sign...
/r/askTRP08/03/18 08:30 PM
1

ok If Im being real it's really my sex drive which propels me - even tho Im kinda trying to ignore females and dating and just work on myself (making a lot of money/becoming lit) , I still have those kind of primal urges which make me wanna pursue women. Shits frustrating af.
/r/askTRP08/03/18 08:29 PM
1

dates ,sex, a relationship if we clicked well enough
/r/askTRP08/03/18 08:16 PM
1

I guess reassurance that I'm not too ugly or low-quality to approach women I'm interested in, because for some reason it feels like I'm not 'allowed' to do that :/
/r/askTRP08/03/18 08:09 PM
1

dude...thats just shit i wear to my office job, not my actual clothes lol
/r/askTRP08/03/18 08:05 PM
1

I have zero problems talking to random dudes - hell numerous times I've talked while waiting in line with randos. I've even made an attempt to try throw compliments like u said at women ... I've only done it a couple times but it's generally been good! I just have this weird thing about seeing people do that, so I wait for the opportune moment when it's just me and the girl with few other people around. Generally though it feels like random women ignore me - sometimes I'll be socializing with a …
/r/askTRP08/03/18 08:02 PM
1

Easier said than done---my mentality has just been molded by life experiences. It really sucks and it's something I'm tryna snap out of.
/r/askTRP08/03/18 07:20 PM
1

Women during the daytime seem extremely unapproachable (believe me, I work in a bustling downtown, theres hundreds of potential girls to approach, but I just feel awkward; like I'd be making them uncomfortable by doing that, especially because I dont view myself as good looking). Liftings something I def gotta get back into, got lazy all winter.
/r/askTRP08/03/18 07:19 PM
1

in what way?
/r/askTRP08/03/18 07:18 PM
1

Yee I appreciate this dude. Guess it really is I have a personality problem. I was raised in an all boys school so I guess never really figured out how to interact with women in an ATTRACTIVE manner - in co-ed uni women showed me no attention, so I just started to think im hideous. It's a vicious cycle of self-image related issues that seem reinforced by daily life...to this day Im petrified of approaching women I don't know (so no.2 of your advice is something Ive been trying to do for YEARS bu…
/r/askTRP08/03/18 07:05 PM
1

I hear ya man, and I feel ya. I'm just a prisoner to my minds thoughts.
/r/askTRP08/03/18 06:55 PM
1

yee I just have no confidence to approach women I don't know - especially with all the MeToo stuff happening. Which is a shame because besides stupid apps I have no where else to meet em.
/r/askTRP08/03/18 06:40 PM
1

lol I can sure u - neither rich nor successful (YET!) - and what u see there in the sweater and collared shirt is simply work clothes, NOT my day-to-day casual wear. Its not like women can look at me and know my educational level - they dont give a fuck about that kinda thing. I'm just wondering why Im practically the only 23 year old male with ZERO female company in virtually all situations I find myself in....and Im really struggling to understand what it is about me that repulses women my age…
/r/askTRP08/03/18 06:29 PM
1

it is indeed. Frustrating as fuck. I've been socialized into being a pussy around women :(
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/18 07:46 PM
1

yee I just tried again. COULD NOT bring myself to do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/18 06:43 PM
1

explain. Why r u sex negative?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/18 05:37 PM
1

so do you think I should throw myself into the fire so to speak, and try not give a fuck?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/18 02:04 PM
1

it means you're at least attractive, if you have women INITIATING social interaction with you. This doesn't happen to me....
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/18 02:03 PM
1

and you see women actively avoid social interaction with me so I feel like shit
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/18 01:56 PM
1

haha yee deep existential shit. But Im a prisoner to my brains thoughts
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/18 01:43 PM
1

Yee. It's just online dating has been a real shitstorm for me and I'm looking to broaden my horizons a bit, Im just scared of making women feel uncomfortable due to my presence
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/18 01:34 PM
1

https://imgur.com/a/jt7bT am I cut out? :/ I just keep incessantly asking this but get discouraged when I try
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/18 01:33 PM
1

wow good for u bro. Like I said, Im a 6'4" black guy but I get the sense that women find me ugly so I don't do shit lol
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/18 01:24 PM
-1

my approach anxiety is crippling to the point of being mental trouble -_-
/r/seduction28/02/18 04:10 AM
1

fo sho
/r/seduction26/02/18 03:13 PM

yee I feel that. Guess my major obstacle has just always been fear of coming off as a 'creep' given societal backlash these days against sexual harassment.
/r/seduction26/02/18 03:04 PM
7

nooo idea tbh ... I was genuinely having a good time both nights but I think in essence getting that first little bit of validation spirals out into radiating confidence and being more attractive during the night as a result.
/r/seduction26/02/18 01:29 AM
1

I dunno again we come full circle...i jus dont look good enough :(
/r/seduction24/02/18 04:41 PM

I see these dudes u talkin bout in tje club - the biyches do the approaching of them :(
/r/seduction24/02/18 04:33 PM

I really dont understand.. how much more aggressive i gotta get here?
/r/seduction24/02/18 04:30 PM

Case in point - how could there be not a single woman in the club interestedbin interacting with me (which is what happened to me last night and pree much any time i try socialize) - so ofc my gut thing is to blame appearance
/r/seduction24/02/18 03:59 PM
1

because if you lived my experience you'd understand why I don't bother talking to women anymore...
/r/seduction22/02/18 01:11 PM
1

u want a girlfriend in 2018? Get face tattoos, get addicted to xanax, drop out of school, and the girlies will love ya
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/18 08:49 PM

Yes, the answer to your initial question is clearly a ZERO. Every single date Ive been on in my life has been with someone Ive met off Okcupid or Tinder. Sad to say really, but that online dating shit hasn't been working for me since graduating uni. So yes, I wanna expand my options to meeting interesting women by talking to them in places like museums, malls and whatnot, but I feel like Id somehow be doing something socially unacceptable or 'misognystic' by putting my needs first like that.
/r/seduction21/02/18 07:54 PM
1

Im just venting. You have no idea how frustrating it is having these issues and being completely in the dark as to what is wrong about you...
/r/seduction21/02/18 07:42 PM

I dunno, I think short mofos are just less intimidating to women than a guy like me, so they find it easier to approach them. Most women I'm attracted to just throw such unapproachable vibes to me. It's like being so fuckin tall makes my unattractiveness hyper-visible.
/r/seduction21/02/18 07:09 PM

Ive read Models like three times dude. I have problems INTERNALIZING that shit! Women give me ZERO attention man.
/r/seduction21/02/18 07:06 PM
1

Im conscious to always keep my chin/head held high and have good body language. At this point Im just so confused as to what it is about me that makes women uninterested.
/r/seduction21/02/18 06:13 PM
1

well then - mostly stupid people are breeding nowadays
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/18 05:22 PM

Oh dont get me wrong I love spending time at things like museums -- in fact, I'd love to meet a woman while browsing a gallery or something! Thing is Im just hyper self-conscious about coming off as a creep, and thinking Im not the image of the typical dude that 20-something girls are actively LOOKING for.
/r/seduction21/02/18 04:08 PM
1

haa harder than it sounds. Just hate the way media and my stupid assumptions have shaped my attitude towards all this :(
/r/seduction21/02/18 04:05 PM

Im too timid. I mostly avoid talking to women because of societal paranoia over sexual harassment, and because I've been socialized to the point where I don't view myself as an ugly dude.
/r/seduction21/02/18 03:52 PM

yes but at the same time that seems like it would just scare them off. Though I also know being the 'nice guy' obvi aint working out for me as well....
/r/seduction21/02/18 03:47 PM

the way women look at me/treat me you'd think I have some kind of deformity....Im dead serious.
/r/seduction21/02/18 03:36 PM

A shit ton of anecdotes I see on here are guys saying initial 'eye contact' was their approach invitation. Im very confused and it just makes me think women find me unattractive :/
/r/seduction21/02/18 03:36 PM
1

Ironically making small talk with women as a non-conventionally attractive guy isn't socially acceptable anymore dude....
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/18 08:46 PM
1

I went to a single-sex school up until university. I wasn't socialized that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/18 08:45 PM
1

doesn't really seem to help. I'm pathetic - a 6'4" black dude scared to approach girls -_-
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 02:54 PM
1

Im in a huge extremely diverse city in Canada. Theoretically shoudlnt b an issur
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 04:14 AM
1

6’4”ish
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 04:13 AM
2

Just very tall and lanky so I think maybe theyre just intimidated mosty (being black with a shit jawline prolly doesnt help)
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 03:28 AM
1

Women are more sef-sufficient than ever- hence the high appearance standards
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 03:27 AM
1

its not incorrect when women look at me like I have some kind of deformity lol
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 02:50 AM
1

I don't bother asking women out. There are no women in my workplace and I graduated uni (where most women wouldn't give me time of day). Dating app returns have been shit and as a result I'm simply too scared of the repercussions of offending random women by talking to them if I find them attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 02:29 AM
1

apparently you've been under a rock
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 02:20 AM
1

the fact that these conversations are having and so many men are brining light to it highlights that yes this is a very real societal issue going on right now...of course i dont have the solution
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 02:17 AM
1

not female standards are through the roof. Do you not know how shit average men do on dating apps (the only acceptable place to meet partners nowadays other than school it seems).
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 02:16 AM
1

anything can be construed as sexual harassment. Approach a woman on a dance floor? Oh no that's harassment, she's just here to socialize with people she already knows. Talk to someone on the street? No that's creepy she's tryna get somewhere ; harassment!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 02:14 AM
1

this is why I don't even bother talking to women tbh - as an ugly guy I 'know my place' so to speak, so have basically given up on looking for love
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 02:12 AM
1

with the generation coming up (early 20s) bad boys are all the rage - materialistic, vapid culture
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 02:11 AM
1

how many times do we have to hear that approaching women is bad? And guess what - the 'nice guys' are the only ones internalizing that kinda thing. It's creating a toxic environment and confused generation.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 02:05 AM
1

this is absolute rubbish. How can nerdy shy guys be committing this kinda abuse if they're not even the ones IN THE relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 02:03 AM
1

by nice guys I mean those who are a bit more timid and passive because they believe everything feminists are telling them about how male sexuality is evil
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 02:00 AM
1

i see lots of 40-something dudes with wives who if they grew up in this generation would be hopeless - women only care about looks and to an extent social status now. No substance at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 02:00 AM
1

not true. Most of these peasants had wives and children .. it was the only incentive to conquer and survive. They had children to farm in their stead.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 01:59 AM
1

Men were lectured for decades about how we should examine our dating preferences (all body shapes of women are beautiful, etc.) - yet women aren't expected to do anything like that
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 01:56 AM
1

feminism is being used to weed out beta/ugly guys - so you have a bunch of young 20s men completely confused about how any of this shit works. They're being taught its bad to approach women while meanwhile jocks and so-called "Chads" dont give a flying fuck.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 01:55 AM
1

develop a drug problem, get a bunch of face tattoos, and start fights and you'll a GF in no time in 2018...
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 01:37 AM
1

yee exactly - and because my SMV is so low I view cold-approaching, or (now that I've tried) attempting to converse with women in bars is a complete waste of time.
/r/askTRP16/02/18 03:55 PM
1

yess i play two instruments (semi-ok) but mainly produce ; that slight musical background is what spurred me to pick this up as a hobby, and Im in the process rn of working with songwriters/artists to create records!
/r/askTRP16/02/18 03:22 PM
1

yee its just the angle - I had a phase of lifting last summer but got lazy...really gotta join a gym and get back into it. Most of my free time outside of menial office work is spent on my hobby however (music production)
/r/askTRP16/02/18 03:20 PM
1

Yee exactly - Im def no neckbeard but dont know if I meet the arbitrary threshold required to do this sorta thing; which leaves me with few options because Im really starting to detest online dating https://imgur.com/a/hHwbz
/r/askTRP16/02/18 02:09 PM
1

social circle then...which Im sadly lacking in
/r/askTRP16/02/18 01:54 PM
1

Again..I do not chat up women generally. The odd time if I'm at a bar or club sure but they don't reciprocate and I get discouraged. Don't even know what to open with - I try the 'hey I just thought you were cute' routine but it strikes out for me. Racial thing? I swipe plenty of black girls on tinder but I only unattractive ones seem interested in me (im using tinder gold so can see who already liked me - its discouraging)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/18 01:52 PM
1

yes - done that multiple times
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/18 01:46 PM
1

I been using Logic for 2 years - great program
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/18 01:25 PM
1

I try doing that but in my experience the women in these places aren't interested in socializing
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/18 01:17 PM
1

Im in Canada
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/18 01:10 PM
1

Dont write lyrics just make beats!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/18 12:36 AM
1

I do hip hop/rnb/electro
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 08:45 PM
1

yes that is me. And no I dont wear sweaters with collared shirts on a daily basis, those are work clothes...
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 08:03 PM
1

im no virgin, im just not SATISFIED as of late. Its because I used to be able to rely on tinder and OKC for pussy, but that doesnt work anymore with the locale im in (huge diverse city, ironically)
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 07:46 PM
1

yee I realize that...and I can only hope that working on myself AND my craft will pay off socially.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 07:11 PM
1

I made good friends at uni with a couple females in my classes. We'd study together n shit like that, but I was kinda sad to lose that connection now that Ive graduated and in a diff city (they coulda introduced me to their friends :(
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 07:00 PM
1

yee Im doing work with a sorta music collective right now, upping my skills, about to start putting out music with other artists. So Im building up to performances and getting myself a bit more known!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 06:58 PM
2

unless I get a lot of money guess Im screwed
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 06:49 PM
1

not in America....
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 06:38 PM
1

Well.,...thats the goal Im working up to :p - its a steep climb
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 05:38 PM
1

I took care of my skin by cutting out pop and mostly drinking water. Completely cleared up in the past year. See my barber once every 2 weeks or so to fade it out. I do all these bare minimum things for myself, not to attract people (yet people who probably don't even do this shit have a easier time than me - there's just something about me which I can't pinpoint which turns females off :( https://imgur.com/a/hHwbz
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 05:38 PM
1

lol the whole problem is I'm unable to do that due to: a. thinking they find me too ugly for that to work b. fear of being labelled a 'harrasser'
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 05:29 PM
1

I dunno, I don't outward show social awkwardness, I'm generally able to hold a convo. It's just my appearance which seems to be the issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 05:27 PM
1

Making music is my main interest/hobby. Dancing would be cool yee, but again my main problem is Im almost too ugly to get even just PLATONIC interest...
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 05:26 PM
1

yee exactly--again Im kinda in the midst of doing all this (including getting artists over my shit finally, as more of a producer), but again Im just meeting males really hhaa. TBH no matter what kinda environments Im in females are always kinda repulsed by my presence and Im not sure why https://imgur.com/a/hHwbz
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 05:18 PM
1

well Im kinda in the midst of doing that right now, just i make music with all guys atm
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 05:14 PM
1

my main hobby is actually making music, fellow black man :p
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 05:07 PM
1

so as a low-quality male (despite being educated, highly intelligent, and musical, just not a looker) Im supposed to just lay down and rot? LOL
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 05:01 PM

im not anorexically thin but due to my height have always been lanky - dont think that appeals to women in their 20s..
/r/seduction14/02/18 08:01 PM

yee gaining weights been a challenge for me, though i did manage to put some size on my arms last summer
/r/seduction14/02/18 07:59 PM

Like I'll admit, I've been insecure about being skinny all my life (moreso in the past) as well as other things, but again you're right I project - I assume they find me ugly so I don't approach
/r/seduction14/02/18 07:57 PM

yee but I don't show it - Im the type to walk around head held high, never let my eyes look at the ground, keep eye contact with people when talking to them, stuff like that. should add I don't approach women I don't know - even when in bars and clubs the fact they never make eye contact with me and act all weird in my presence tells me stay away.
/r/seduction14/02/18 07:51 PM

curious then why lots of women I interact with treat/look at me like im the ugliest dude they've laid eyes on
/r/seduction14/02/18 07:42 PM
1

thats an interesting perspective
/r/seduction26/01/18 08:39 PM
1

good stuff
/r/seduction26/01/18 08:38 PM
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