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View 1 posts and 96 comments by congo_sire on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
9

Custodycongo_sire/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 07:49 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
10

😂 Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual leveling up.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 02:51 AM
12

a week? a fucking week? when she has kids in the house??? anyway, it's been 3 years man, gonna give it to you straight, that's 2 years too long not having moved on. Doesn't happen without actively doing work to move on. find a therapist, find a gym, stylist, whatever; do your own glow up (without fake boobs, or do, it's 2025), focus on work on your PIES.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 02:01 AM
5

don't go telling it to everyone out of hurt or anger; never act on those feelings. tell only those closest to you who are supporting you, not even all your friends. take the higher road
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 01:56 AM
8

my man, you're a great father. if you're hurting, I hope you find healing soon. you're an awesome dad ✊🏿
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 01:54 AM
5

man, why even say that to a person? what's the upside to this cruelty?
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 11:24 AM
2

fuck it dude, go to a spa, have a nice lunch, grab a fucking $10 latte and have a nice stroll with a podcast. Do something nice for yourself; just do it outside.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 01:36 PM
-7

You didn't state your ages, but 20 years together I am gonna assume at least mid 40s. Most women (hell even men) go through this period of low drive, esp towards the same person of 2 decades. She could also be experiencing one of the billion things women go through when they're aging, affecting her libido, etc. I guess what I am wondering is why didn't you talk to her abt this? Attempt therapy, any attempt at all to fix your marriage. You state she sees you as someone to take care of, if she was…
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 01:32 PM
1

feel the feelings, bur don't trust them, and don't let them influence your actions. this too, shall pass.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 02:53 AM
11

Why are you moving out? Stay till divorce is finalized, you're gonna need that for 50/50 custody at the very least. She's free to move out; she's the one that wants out. Stay in that house for your kids. You're blaming yourself for her feelings, stop doing that. Unless you cheated or abused her, which you didn't, her decision to rip apart your family as you put it, is entirely based on her feelings. If it makes you feel any better, a lot of men have either been cheated on and or left even when t…
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 01:29 AM
7

See a therapist if you haven't; at 30, you have your whole life ahead and you can't be suspicious of every woman.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 11:17 PM
12

bro we've all been called controlling, manipulative, narcists, etc. almost a requirement for a woman to justify leaving you, having an affair, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 12:04 PM
12

Bro, I'd kill for primary custody of my kids.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 11:12 PM
2

hear hear.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 06:08 PM
4

normal feeling, you'll get used to it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 01:54 AM
6

I mean if it's CS you're annoyed by, file for 50/50. Pay less, spend more time with your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 11:17 PM
3

do you have 50/50?
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 08:13 PM
3

they'll vilify you for every crime from San Diego to Timbuktu, bcos they have to convince themselves they're not selfish home wreckers. Hang in there man, this too, shall pass.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 01:47 AM
3

very sorry, it's gonna hurt like hell for a while. don't let that make you worse off as a person, even to her. do your best to get through this pain healthily, and your future self will thank you. so will your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 06:22 PM
16

there is always a backup; this goes for 99% of women. Even if they never act on it, there is always a backup. not entirely their faults, loser men are always hovering around married or taken women.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 05:13 PM
1

I think that's the age divorce doesn't mess them up much, I could be wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 05:11 PM
1

20 years gonna take you 20 months to be over her fully, it's tough, I know, but you have to come out stronger, not weaker. Make her regret the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 04:51 PM
2

😂😂
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 02:28 PM
3

Don't feel bad at all, embrace that feeling when it comes up, don't shove it down or away, else it'll keep coming back for longer. We're wired to protect and provide, so if you loved her, you can't do away with it this quickly, esp depending on how long you were married, and the fact that you have a kid together. As you said, you want your family to work or stay together. If she doesn't want that, not much you can do but soldier on and care for yourself and kids. In the mean time, find some even…
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 02:21 PM
3

hang in there brother
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 10:02 PM
4

I know there are some bad women out there but the constant narrative here is only the woman is actively making it bad. If that is your situation, by all means do what's best for you, but you "living too" shouldn't be at the expense of someone you decided to bring into this world. "I have to be happy" is a phrase women use to destroy families.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 08:02 PM
11

yup, my parents fought frequently too, and not saying my mum didn't have a right to be aggrieved, but I know they (esp my dad) both stayed for us. nothing beats being a father, for me. I understand if it's not your thing, in which case why live with a person making you miserable? but if you love your role as a father, you can live through anything. as Nietzche (I think) said, with a why, you can bear any how.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 06:54 PM
11

being divorced is easy, not having your kids all the time (even you're lucky for 50/5) is literal hell, if you love your kids. I am sorry for your dad dying so young, but he should have left your mum when you lot got older (anything over 15 imo). I would live his miserable life just to see my kids daily and be a loving father to them, despite a miserable wife. and then dip as soon as the youngest turned 15. Your dad's divorced friends may have seemed happier, but your dad likely died most fulfil…
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 06:45 PM
6

this isn't regret lol. fuck her
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 06:29 PM
2

walking around you naked is weird; can mean she sees you as a friend or brother, i.e someone she isn't going to fuck, or she still sees you as nothing has changed. Either sucks. I wouldn't move out, she initiated this, she should. On separating, just try as much as possible to sleep in different rooms, and only do things together when it involves the kids. Be outside doing something else unless you need to be home for the kids (hw, help make dinner, put them to sleep, etc). Only contact her when…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 06:21 PM
1

3 year divorce process? yikes.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 06:05 PM
2

This is the absolute perfect response; esp if you have no kids. She hasn't served bcos she's second guessing herself, as she's realizing she's gonna lose a strong man. If you still love and want her, continue this, but when she changes her mind and comes back, she's gotta earn your love. If she doesn't, you'll experience a setback when the papers are served, but you've set yourself up to weather that storm brilliantly. well don my man, keep pushing.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 06:00 PM
6

This sucks, I know. But you're in survival mode, and therefore doing all the wrong things. You've made it clear you neither want the separation nor the eventual divorce, you've already begged and pleaded. Time to stop those. They will only push her further, seriously. Your wife has switched to a different mental state, she's likely wrestled with this for years, and even if this isn't your fault it's dead or dying (I mean kids, work, human feelings changing naturally, etc) she will 100% blame you…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 05:54 PM
5

I feel you. I have been in bed with absolutely gorgeous women, ten years younger than my ex wife, after mind blowing hours long sex, and all I want to do is go back to my family and be a father and boring husband; I found that more fulfilling. Don't feel bad, we're just wired to be providers after a certain age, and the things that brought us pride and joy in our 20s just seem silly now. I felt better when I dated women closer to my age who were dating intentionally.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 04:34 PM
1

Love is weird, it doesn't ever go away, even if they betray or hurt you. Acknowledge these feelings, talk through them with your therapist, don't take this new woman for granted, in fact whatever nurturing feeling you have for your ex, actively channel them towards this new woman. In time, these too, shall pass. To me, that's always the saddest part. Fully getting over an ex.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 01:03 PM
2

it's okay to feel bad for her and acknowledge those feelings, just don't act on them. You love her still, that won't ever go away (it will dwindle over time), just accept she'll always have a small part of you and move on. Over time you'll learn to live with it and fully be over her.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 01:01 PM
3

hear hear; they'll convince themselves, with the help of bitter single/divorced friends, and do whatever they want bcos they're victims.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/25 12:03 PM
1

two kids under 2 is rough, divorce rates spike with multiple back to back kids. she's lost her sense of identity for at least 2 years, going on a third; of course she's going to blame you. Might even have postpartum depression. not much you can do, unfortunately. Just be there for your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/25 02:33 AM
20

the fuck did you leave her for? 😂
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 01:58 PM
4

"people who love you don't leave you." repeat with every pushup.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/25 12:15 AM
2

they truly are impressive
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/25 12:13 AM
3

You have to let her know you what you found; don't argue, don't yell, just let her know. Never compare yourself to an AP, feelings and emotions aren't logical.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 08:28 PM
6

You've already put her on a pedestal, which lowers attraction (which is already down) and will absolutely end your marriage and make her move on faster than you can count to 5. Most people, esp women, find any and every reason to break up when they want to break up, and she's even convinced herself your reaction won't make you a good father or that you don't want kids. Put it this way, if you loved a woman, were abt to painfully leave her cos she says no to kids, and she changes her mind, would …
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 03:33 PM
2

yup, all of this. add in not seeing your kids regularly (or at all for the poor few) and it's a hurt so deep we're not equipped to handle (our forefathers never had to go through this so we aren't wired for it) most men here turn out bitter and angry. Justifiably so, might I add, but that just harms us more than it does anyone else, esp your ex.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 02:25 PM
3

What are some examples of "wrong reasons?" Unless you were arranged, or did it to pay off a debt, or for a green card, anything else is made up.. You both had enough love or attraction at some point to move in together, and get married years later. Here's the hard truth, that honeymoon phase passes for everyone, EVERYONE. Many people, esp women, push for divorce bcos they hit this phase and blame their spouse (see all the angry jaded men here) and then leave or have an affair, majority of who co…
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 07:40 PM
4

dude, you have problems/ issues that are resolved with time and hard work, i.e being an adult. Many here, despite being bitter and jaded from divorce, would kill for your "situation." Sit down with her, make a list of all the things YOU are doing wrong, and start there by coming up with ways to address them. Communication is a problem for everyone in a relationship, from childhood friendships to business partners to marriages, you just need to work on it together and set boundaries. Don't get a …
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 07:19 PM
3

get outside; seriously. force yourself outside, join some local rec leagues for whatever sport or activity you enjoy.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 01:27 PM
2

I fucked up worse than you at 38, after the birth of our child (coupled with a billion other things) caused us to drift, so go easy on yourself, you'll fuck up some more in the future cos you're human. What matters is learning from your mistakes, and one of the things that hurts me most is I became a better man but other women are reaping from it, instead of my ex-wife who pleaded with me for years to get better. I don't know if 50/50 for a 10 month old or the next one is a healthy choice, child…
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 02:43 AM
2

what's the app?
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 11:53 PM
3

don't cheat, duhh. you have a legitimate reason; kids. if she isn't onboard, bow out, you're not getting younger. if she agrees, make sure she isn't doing so only to make you stay, she'll resent you for that and hate the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 07:11 PM
6

women don't show remorse lol, they just find a way to blame you. it's okay to be angry for some time, but best revenge would be moving on from that burden, cos anger is a burden that will literally affect your health. you have every right to be angry, but work on it kind sir.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 12:56 PM
1

sorry man, I know the pain
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 12:28 PM
1

honestly I am more fearful of when she starts dating and brings another man in the picture. My kids are so young they won't know the difference between he and I, and I would be replaced; if he lives with them all the time and I only see them occasionally. It's terrifying. If they were older I wouldn't have these worries.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 12:56 PM
34

she's 4 years removed from 50, and you can go for a 28 year old. She's saved you, go start a new family lol.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 01:19 AM
4

she hates my guts, is moving out, and stands to lose nothing (for now) as long as the kids are concerned. why would she sacrifice that privilege for me? women are cold when they want to leave you, she's already vilified me in all the ways possible to her friends and family.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 11:03 PM
1

yup, def getting a lawyer tomorrow.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 10:09 PM
1

I was under the assumption you need more than a one bedroom. I am just gonna consult with a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 10:09 PM
1

are you saying just fight for 50/50 now, or play nice and be present for the time I get with them?
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 09:24 PM
1

I can't afford a two bed right now, and studies suggest they need some stability until they're abt 4 or 5.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 08:00 PM
1

sounds like no kids? 95% of divorces would be easier that way, not to take anything from you. I have had harder breakups with non married partners, emotionally. I'd cut my ex off for 6 months to heal properly if I could.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 05:45 PM
2

this is a pretty healthy and matured move, good on you. the reason women fail the divorce in the long term is they usually monkey branch, while most men don't get the easy option of a rebound and have to go through the pain to properly heal. good job not taking that easy route.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 05:21 PM
5

sorry man, just take care of yourself; get outside, walk. one day at a time.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 03:17 AM
2

put it thus way; unless your current state is negatively affecting your kids, and nothing suggests that to be the case, even if your life will be better, your kids will be negatively affected. don't mess them up based on your feelings man. not dismissing your emotions, but once you bring kids in the world that becomes irrelevant in the equation.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 10:57 PM
8

she's in limerence, obviously with the coworker, and no logic will help you here. You can't win this one, at least for now. I am sorry, but time to buckle up, it's gonna suck for a while. Good news is you'll come out better than her. Let her ride out the limerence.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 10:08 PM
6

so this space has its pros and cons, and one of the cons is men who have been aggrieved and are bitter (rightly so). this is not where you get an advise on whether or not you stay and work on your marriage; in fact 99% of all reddit relationship advise is "dump him/her." I am sorry you're going through this neglect, it's tough to face that from the one person who's "contracted" to provide you with love and attention. Studies suggest marriages suffer after the birth of a child, let alone two. div…
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 10:06 PM
2

yup
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 07:11 PM
4

dunno how long you've been divorced, but these are always a 7 game series, and women ALWAYS win games 1 and 2. You can't compete. Goal is to win the series, focus on your health and you'll win at least 5.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 07:07 PM
1

read your first post, doesn't seem like your wife has done anything egregious; you just married a person wired differently. Ironically, the stuff you claim she won't do is what most women complain men don't do (my stbxw did). and to be frank, very few women are going to think of you the way you want them to, they're just not wired to be caretakers of their husbands, they're wired to care for their offspring. that said, marriage is about working on issues to help each other grow. if she was doing…
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 11:21 PM
3

dude, for your daughter's sake, seek counseling. imagine how shitty her life will be if you're not around. please please call someone, or even a suicide hotline.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 01:14 AM
8

people cheat for a myriad of reasons, and none will have anything to do with you. women, esp, will find all the ways to blame you than take accountability. it was never abt you.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 10:26 AM
2

I failed mine too, just focus on making it up to your kids if you have any. They need you healthy; physically, mentally, emotionally, healed, and happy. It'll take time, but you'll get there. ps. apologize to your stbxw if you wronged her. don't make it difficult for her, but don't get taken advantage of either out of guilt.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 08:18 PM
3

therapy, walks (lots of these, never stay inside esp when depressed), gym. rediscover some interests marriage made you give up; for me it was playing pickup soccer (legit lifesaver, being outside or indoors and running), video games, etc. lots of people are advising fwb or dating, I am not against that, but go through the pain for at least 3 months before indulging in that. you got this ✊🏿
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 07:28 PM
1

lol, men never learn, do we? keep dating her for another year, if it's still strong move in together, separate finances. if you're still strong after 5 years, give it a thought.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 01:25 PM
1

it kind of has. everyone resorts to therapy speak to justify their shitty behaviors; and women were never going to take accountability in the first place.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 10:41 AM
1

remember, grief comes in waves, and for a while you'll sporadically have shitty, low emotional days. just know it's normal
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 10:35 AM
2

hey man, at least you didn't cheat; you were just neglectful. as men, we use logic instead of emotion, i.e I am gonna work hard and provide and she'll love me, instead of actually being there. we just learn too late, and for what it's worth, she'd have left too if there was financial stress bcos you were too busy giving her experiences. you can't please most modern women 🤷🏿‍♂️ now, I don't know how "bad" your mum is, but you're gonna have to suck it up and move in with her for a year while you r…
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 01:28 AM
4

fuck man, that really sucks. I am getting divorced cos I neglected my wife, you did everything right. I am so sorry man, call a lawyer, call some family and friends.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 12:08 AM
2

bruh, that is brutal. I am playing nice and amicable with my stbxw just for my kid, cos I can't lose her. sorry for the life you've been through man, and so sorry for your son.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/25 11:48 PM
1

who gets remarried 2 weeks after a divorce? Was it a long separation?
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/25 11:44 PM
5

dude, step outside, please. just walk. drag yourself out
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/25 10:14 PM
1

why would she do that?
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/25 10:13 PM
3

hey, take a deep breath. this is going to suck, and you'll have to suffer through it, but you'll come out better. she, at the moment, has her mind made up, and when women esp are in this state, they'll charge you with all the things to convince themselves. my ex wife called me controlling, narcissist, manipulative, uncontrollable anger, didn't love her, didn't find her sexually attractive, etc. she's just trying to convince herself; don't beg, don't plead, don't use logic to explain. therapy onl…
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/25 10:12 PM
2

this is the way; walk, reward your taste buds, indulge in a show or a friend.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 11:44 PM
5

it's okay to cry sometimes (only to your pillow and dog, no one else,I don't care what the modern experts say), but after 30 mins of a good cry, GET OUT AND WALK. Seriously, force yourself to get outside, and just walk. Put on a podcast, some comedy, def not sad music, but walk! If it's at night, grab some ice cream (don't over indulge), put on a comedy show/movie/stand up, and just force yourself to laugh like you are the joaquin phoenix's joker. This too, shall pass.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 11:42 PM
3

she's in a space where you can't talk her out of it, and your actions are going to come off as desperate; which they are. the good news is you are at least self aware to admit your faults. give coach Lee on youtube a listen, solid advises.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 05:08 PM
3

solid advice, thank you kind sir. I am mostly worried abt time with my kids.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/25 12:19 AM
4

we dated 2 years before marriage. right upon meeting her she started pressuring me to get married and have kids (she was 34, clock ticking). the signs are always there; hindsight, as they say.. I always felt within I wasn't who she really wanted, and she just wanted to have kids with a stable guy. She reached out to her "immature ex" before we even separated, and now she's off fucking him.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/25 12:16 AM
1

I feel ya. I am happy to lose my emotionally draining and manipulative sbtx, but so very sad abt not putting my daughters to sleep every night. I am gonna fight tooth and nail for 50/50 so I am not a peripheral father, and so she also feels the loss of our kids.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/25 12:15 AM
1

lack of respect; yup.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 11:56 PM
3

as the saying goes, after God, fear women. the absolute worst part is she'll still find ways to blame you, and take zero accountability.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 11:49 PM
4

I hope you never get tempted to go back to her.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 11:47 PM
1

it's okay to feel like that right now, but as cliche as this sounds, it's always darkest before the storm. I don't know what you did to lose your kids, we all make mistakes. Your priority right now is them, fix it.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 11:41 PM
5

my God, I am so sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 11:09 PM
4

lol, share more tips bro. separated, 3 kids under 3, stbxw got a lawyer, I am yet to. I was the sole worker, but we were married under 2 years and she's been a SAHM for abt 1.5 years so her lawyer told her she gets no alimony. small wins
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 11:02 PM
2

95% of the time there's always a single friend egging them on 😭 grima wormtongues everywhere.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 10:58 PM
2

hang in there brother, it'll get better.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 10:55 PM
2

may I ask what you did? Not being given another chance implies you hurt her, unless she's just cruel.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 10:45 PM
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