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contrasupra Archive

View 0 posts and 55 comments by contrasupra on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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35

The brother is even more ludicrous, how tf am I going to control what my adult brother does? Even if I were anti-marriage, I can't even pretend to have any authority there.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/20 04:06 AM
6

FWIW, even a paternity test doesn't mean it's impossible you had sex with someone else - it just means that sex with someone else did not give rise to this particular pregnancy. So unless all your male partner cares about is the parentage of the child, I think this would likely erode peace of mind more than creating it - the male partner goes from not even considering whether his wife/girlfriend/whatever may have cheated on him, to thinking "maybe she did but dodged a bullet on the pregnancy."
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/19 11:29 PM
1

My boyfriend has a flashlight. Why in the world would this bother me? In fact, I was the one who suggested he get one, years ago now - we were living in different cities at the time, but he still uses it occasionally and I still don't care, at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/18 06:34 AM
1

By the time most women get out of law school they're in their late 20s/early 30s. Isn't that post-wall anyway? :p
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/17 04:13 PM
3

To be honest, when I was in law school a lot of my female peers were married/engaged/in long-term relationships as well. So I dunno.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/17 04:12 PM
2

Lol I lurk around here but don't post too much. But hey!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/17 04:00 PM
5

Hell, I don't even practice. I work at a nonprofit think tank.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/17 03:55 PM
8

I am a female lawyer. Obviously I know a lot of female lawyers. My experience does not match yours...most of my female peers are married.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/17 03:54 PM
1

It never occurred to me that people would think I want privacy less because I wear earbuds. I wear glasses, big headphones hurt my ears, lol. Maybe I should wear earbuds and then soft earmuffs over top of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/17 04:31 AM
1

Why would it matter what kind of headphones they are? This is a serious question.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/17 12:12 AM
6

I feel like this issue gets confused because so many men are such incredible assholes to women they see as unattractive for whatever reason. Like, I'm a not-particularly-attractive woman. I know a lot of men wouldn't be interested in having sex with me. And that's...fine with me? I have a significant other, if I was trying to date it might be demoralizing, but I certainly don't object to men having preferences. That would be insane. I DO object to men going out of their way to tell women that th…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/17 09:52 PM
2

Yeah, I say again - for me at least, the best sex partner is one who has had sex with me a lot of times. When I first met my current partner he was literally a virgin and had NO experience whatsoever. The sex was absolute shit for about a year. I still liked him though, so we stayed together, experimented together, and now six years in I'm having the best sex of my life (it didn't take six years to get good, I'm just saying that's where we are now).
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/17 08:50 PM
5

I'm convinced that this is a big part of why women value committed relationships over ONS. Our bodies are complicated. I don't know if my current partner is the most objectively handsome guy I could be with (it's not something I really think about), but we've been together for almost six years. He knows my body like the back of his hand. He knows how to get me off over and over again. I can't imagine sex with some beautiful rando being anywhere near as satisfying.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/17 08:40 PM
2

It's a sad-faced recognition that her badboy doesn't want to commit. But also a realization that the bad boy probably wouldn't be a very good life partner. What is confusing about this? If she's sensible, she doesn't want commitment from someone who will not be a good long-term mate, parent, etc. Choosing a partner and choosing someone to fuck are really different, of course the criteria are different.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/16 04:42 AM
2

I don't deny that women might look for different things (or even have different strategies!) for ONS vs LTR. That makes a lot of sense to me and I think it is pretty much unquestionably true. What doesn't make sense to me is the assertion that because of this, what she looks for in an LTR isn't what she actually wants ("she's only going after this guy because she can't get the alpha she REALLY wants"). If it's what she wants in that context, then it is what she wants. What's the difference? Like…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/16 04:35 AM
1

I started finding as much sexual value in interpersonal chemistry as I do in looks. That's probably why male celebrities in general don't do it for me, unless they have a sense of humor similar to my own (the playfulness of Chris Pratt or George Clooney Jon Hamm is the gold standard IMO. I think I fell in love with him listening to his episodes on Comedy Bang Bang, lol
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/16 03:49 AM
6

Speaking of me personally, sure I take note that a guy is physically a nice specimen. But it's just that. A mental note. I can back this up. I see a hot dude and I'll go "oh he's fine" but I don't actually feel any arousal, it's just an observation. I'm not even thinking "I'd like to fuck him." I don't fantasize about fucking him later. I don't try to imagine him naked. It's just not connected to sex in my brain at all unless it's porn or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/16 03:41 AM
2

The women I've seen who are married to men they love, adore and fuck the shit out of, are with men they married before age 25. I'm interested in your breakdown, because myself and a lot of women I know seem to be in a third category. I'm 29 and my partner and I are not married. However, we have been in a monogamous relationship for almost 6 years (since I was 23) and are very committed to each other. We haven't married yet because I was in graduate school, we didn't feel like our careers were on…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/16 05:41 AM
1

I mean, I'm sure that some children have traumatic experiences with divorce, but as a counterpoint my parents divorced when I was 5 (I'm a 29-year-old woman) and I think I'm pretty well-adjusted. My parents married very young, and my father is mentally ill. I never saw my mother date at all until she became very seriously involved with the man who became my stepfather. They married when I was around 9 and he raised me and my brother like we were his own. Sure the divorce was confusing and upsett…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/16 05:31 AM
1

This is the same principle as how if you look up a medication online you will only see comments from people who have experienced extreme side effects and full-on crazy people. Ordinary folks whose medication is working as intended don't post about it on the internet. Men who are in happy relationships with women don't go looking for places to complain about women on the internet.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/16 10:38 PM
2

I mean, I don't need to know exactly where my partner is at all times. Yesterday he came home from work around his normal time and mentioned sometime in the evening that he and his coworkers had cut out early and gone to happy hour. I don't need to know about that in advance, he's a grown-up and it has no effect on me so I don't really care. I mostly just want to know if something out of the ordinary is happening that will impact me - if he is going to be abnormally late, if he is having dinner …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/16 07:48 PM
2

I dunno...I'd be interested to know what you think, but I think for a lot of women it's hard to have a truly transcendent sexual experience from a one night stand. I've had a few ONS that were okay I guess, scratched the itch. But I've been monogamous with my current partner for almost six years, and honestly the sex keeps getting better and better. And he was a virgin when we met, so it's not like it started out super great.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/16 07:57 PM
1

How are we defining "slut"? Because lots of guys on TRP seem to define it as "unmarried non-virgin," which would mean virtually very woman I know is a slut...
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/16 09:21 PM
5

Is there something wrong with this, though? Don't men want all the positive aspects of masculinity (strong, pragmatic, a leader, etc) without the negatives (can't show emotion, not allowed to cry, etc)? I hear guys talk about that all the time on here. What's wrong with wanting to claim the parts of your social identity that are good and repudiate the parts that suck?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/16 01:17 AM
1

I'm 29 and I've only had sex with 3 guys. Two were serious relationships (one of which is still ongoing) and the third was a one-off rebound after the first relationship ended. I don't feel like this is so shocking?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/16 10:24 PM
1

It's weird to me that "delay sex" is on this list given the thread a few days ago about women not putting out early in relationships...
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/16 09:25 PM
3

I think this is accurate. I have a law degree and my partner only has a 4-year degree, but he's a software developer at a major tech company. We don't have the same number of years of schooling, but we're definitely on the same "level" professionally.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/16 04:47 AM
1

If I'm watching porn, I can orgasm purely with my brain. No physical contact of any kind required. I have no idea if other women have this talent.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/16 10:26 PM
1

Maybe. He's in his early 30s, I'm in my late 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/16 12:12 AM
1

Do you assume this is true of all men? I ask because it doesn't seem to be true of my male partner - we sort of split initiating sex 50/50, but he doesn't try to initiate every day, and occasionally when I initiate he's not in the mood.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/16 11:36 PM
3

Yeah...I partly think that the idea of a full-sized woman-looking sex robot is just kind of creepy on its own. A full-sized man-looking robot would be equally creepy, because robots that look like people are just sort of creepy. My boyfriend has a fleshlight, and yeah I get that it's not a robot, but it doesn't creep me out at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/16 06:54 PM
2

No, people do, women don't. If I'm understanding you right, you're saying that there is an objective list of qualities that all women are attracted to in equal measure with no variation. Right? I started dating my current partner when he was 27. He was a virgin and had never had a girlfriend before. We have been together for five years and live together. I am obviously attracted to him, but if my standard are exactly the same as all other women's standards, why did he never have a girlfriend bef…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/16 07:07 PM
4

I am a feminist, and I don't really know what feminist talking point you mean. But I sort of agree with you that you can't expect to change people's preferences on what they find attractive, so if you're saying that men shouldn't be blamed/shamed for liking bigger boobs, I basically think that is correct. I would put it to you that you SHOULD stop worrying about dick size, but "most women don't care" isn't the reason to stop worrying about it. I always think this is sort of lousy advice when I s…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/16 09:09 PM
2

What does this even have to do with gender? I'm a woman, my male partner demands that I not act like an asshole just like I demand that he not act like an asshole. I guess early in a relationship, "demand" is a funny word to use for someone you're not particularly invested in, since it would be easier to just leave than to try to change them. But we've been together for five years, we each know the other is NOT an asshole (not a full-time asshole, anyway), so when the one of us is acting like on…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/16 04:20 PM
1

I hear what you're saying. I think a few issues are getting conflated here and I want to make sure we separate them. I actually sort of agree with you in one sense - I don't think "teach men not to rape" is likely to be all that effective in reducing rape. However, it is definitely not going to be effective with dark alley violent stranger rapes, and I don't think anyone really expects dialogue like this to prevent that type of assault. Obviously, the majority of rapes are not stranger rapes, an…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/16 04:20 AM
1

I guess I just don't think this is a kind or useful way to react to a victim of violent crime. Forget sexual assault - let's suppose my boyfriend was mugged after carelessly going somewhere dangerous. My first reaction would be to say things like, "Oh my god, are you okay?" and "Do you need to go to the hospital?" and "Did you call the police?" and "Is there anything I can do?" I can't imagine saying something like, "Well, that's your fault for doing something stupid." Maybe it was stupid, but w…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/16 09:16 PM
1

I mean...is this serious? If someone I cared about was mugged I would definitely not be like, "Well, that might not have happened if you hadn't been walking in a dark alley." Even if I'm right, that's still just a dick thing to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/16 04:55 AM
6

I think part of this is about what people focus on after a rape. I mean, when a woman is raped are there maybe things she could have done differently to reduce her risk of assault? Sure, depending on the circumstances, maybe there were. I don't think anyone is seriously denying that. But at the same time it can be like, why is that the thing you're focusing on? When a woman is assaulted, it seems like people fall over themselves to talk about what she did wrong instead of saying, "shit, that is …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/16 08:02 PM
2

This is really mean, but every time they post a photos thread I always think, "Wash your face and get a haircut!" And then I feel sort of terrible but come on dudes.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/16 08:12 PM
3

I think what goes on is that he loves her for WHO SHE IS. She loves (uses) him for WHAT HE DOES FOR HER. Is this really true though? I feel like so many threads where women talk about what kind of partner they want we have tons of red-flair posters saying, "Well, what do you bring to the table? What can you do for him?" So how is it different?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/16 06:26 PM
1

Okay I see what you mean, maybe I was misunderstanding some of the advice given above, so I apologize for that. I guess I would say that it's certainly possible to be in a relationship where direct communication isn't possible, but I would view that as a red flag in itself. So when you say that trying to communicate with someone in a relationship like that will make them less attracted to me, I kind of think...who cares? Because it sounds to me like that relationship isn't really working out any…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/16 07:58 PM
1

Well, maybe. But I've only been in four relationships in my life, and my last two (since high school, basically) have been upwards of four years each, so I'm not exactly jumping around.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/16 06:30 PM
1

The "golden rule" often comes up in mainstream dating advice and I made a thread here about it, because I think it's the worst dating advice ever. For this exact reason. Well, if you abstract it out it still holds (and I think it's a better abstract than specific rule anyway): I should think about others's needs as I would want them to think about mine. But as to specifics, it's not great advice because our needs are different.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 09:00 AM
2

Just to be clear, I was TERRIBLE at this for a while. And my boyfriend kept saying I was being kinda selfish and I thought he was being a jerk because I did so much for him! And slowly I started to realize that selfish doesn't just mean not doing things for someone. I was thinking about myself and what I would want, instead of him and what he would want.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 08:12 AM
2

Well, you're right that talking can't solve ALL problems, sometimes people are just incompatible or bad for each other. But at that point, why stick together? When problems get so bad you can't talk them out, what's the point of staying in a relationship with someone? If you (general you, not you /u/nomdplume) are in a terrible relationship that for some reason you don't want to leave, I suppose that's your prerogative, but that doesn't mean you should tell other people that communicating in rel…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 07:19 AM
2

For talking to actually lead to something, all kinds of criteria need to be met. the other person has to be willing to acknowledge the problem the other person has to actually be interested in solving the problem the person with the problem has to be able to articulate exactly what it is that is causing them to feel the way they do (otherwise, all the resulting action in the world won't change how they feel) the person with the problem has to be articulate the source of the problem honestly and …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 03:32 AM
2

But if you talk with your partner about all the ways in which they make you feel unloved, hurt, unsupported, whatever, they are likely to feel pressured. They are likely to see you as dependent and needy. I mean...then maybe they're shitty. Maybe you deserve a better partner than that?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 03:27 AM
2

When people talk about Nice Guys, they're generally not referring to someone you have accepted as your life partner. It's weird for some dude in my English class to "expect" something from me. It's not weird for my significant other to have expectations for my behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 03:24 AM
1

Holy fuck, dude. If you picking up your wife from the train station is all it takes for you to have a happy marriage, God bless you, sir... Does this seem so wildly unusual to you? This is the kind of thing my boyfriend and I do for each other and we have a happy relationship - it honestly doesn't take much more than keeping the other person's happiness and needs in mind. Occasionally a larger problem crops up or one of us gets frustrated with the other, but we just talk about it and work it out…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 03:22 AM
2

I think part of being in a relationship is recognizing what your partner needs and values as an expression of love and trying to do that thing, instead of some other thing. Like, I might show my boyfriend I love him with physical affection or by giving him little gifts. He likes that, sure, but what really makes him feel loved is acts of service - taking things off his plate and handling things that he's stressed out about. So if what I want is to tell him I love him, I can do it however I want.…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 02:32 AM
4

But not everything is a gift. I expect my boyfriend to do the dishes. This isn't a favor or an act of kindness. It's us dividing up the housework. It's not being entitled, because that's what we agreed was a fair division of labor. And there's a huge difference between some expectation of an equal division of labor and attention in a relationship and feeling entitled to someone's attention and affection that you're not actually involved with. The nice guy analogy breaks down here IMO.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 02:28 AM
1

I'm not sure I agree with this. Or rather, I agree that male comedians can make better use of self-deprecating humor than female comedians, and I agree that a woman who puts down her appearance for a laugh is more likely to be looked at with pity, but I don't think it's because men get more sympathy and are the object of derision. I actually think it's kind of the opposite - Louis CK can make jokes about being old or fat or bald and it's funny because he knows and we all know that he can be a me…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/16 09:54 PM
3

I think it's interesting to look at shows like 30 Rock and Parks and Recreation when thinking about this idea. I think Tina Fey is beautiful and if I were a man I would probably find her highly desirable. But the show basically asks the audience to accept the objectively untrue premise that she is this disgusting unloveable person with a shitshow of a life. A real life Liz Lemon doesn't have to give Dennis the Beeper King the time of day, but in the context of the show we all have to sort of pre…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/16 09:27 PM
2

So it sounds like you're saying that when TRP says "single moms" they're actually talking about moms who are single "by choice" (i.e. divorce, or never actually in a relationship with the father, etc)? I don't think single moms are evil or anything, but I do think that not wanting to date someone with kids, especially if you're young, is a pretty reasonable stance. I was raised in a blended family and I love my stepdad but walking into an established family structure must be pretty rough. She wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/16 09:05 PM
3

Single moms. Can I ask you a question about this that's sort of off-topic but I've always wondered? I often see TRP describe single moms in terms of moral failure or a red flag or potential hazard - a woman who made some kind of bad relationship choice or was in a relationship that failed and therefore (the theory goes) might not be a good relationship prospect. Does this logic also extend to widows? I have an aunt who is a single mom of two young boys because her husband (my mom's brother) died…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/16 08:43 PM
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