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coochie4sale Archive

View 0 posts and 103 comments by coochie4sale on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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A 35 year old is a millennial! They definitely understand modern dating. Anyways, I’m a 22 year old Gen Z-er, and I just don’t think there’s that much that’s different about dating. A lot of my friends met their partners in real life, via college or through friends. Even meeting through social media is not a super modern phenomenon, read up on the coupling that Facebook inspired.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 09:56 PM
0

I’m sorry that happened to you, but this does not implicate the decisions of those who are unattractive and in relationships. Most people are not forming relationships with those they do not find attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 11:50 AM
2

This will eventually devolve into an entirely different conversation about what “genuine attraction” is - if a man’s partner has sex with him regularly, publicly acknowledges their relationship, and continues to be in a relationship with them despite being free to not do so, does that not count for something?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 03:41 AM
2

I’m not red-pill but: There’s this idea that you need to be exceptional in some sort of way to find love or get in a relationship, and I’ve never understood it. Relationships are plentiful. Many dull people are in one. Ugly. Fat. Poor. So-on, and so-forth. I guess being desirable in some fashion opens you up to more attractive mates, but the answer to your question I think is that you don’t need to have status or money to get into a relationship. Plenty of people will likely be happy to be with …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 03:24 AM
2

In the real world, a lot of dating arrangements don’t immediately start as wanting to date someone. I’ve had co-workers where we very much liked each other, but couldn’t immediately explore a romantic arrangement for whatever reason. One of my hook-ups was because I helped them on their part of our model UN paper initially then we continued talking. You are allowed to get a person’s number for whatever reason and explore a connection afterward. Treating opposite sex connection as only being valu…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 01:16 PM
2

One of the things you learn about adulthood is that a lot of people can find success by not going through the well-trodden path. The traditional “life script” is to go to college, marry, get a house. But I meet lots of people who didn’t need to go to college to find financial success, or didn’t need to marry to have vibrant & successful romantic lives, or are lifelong renters despite being professionally accomplished. All advice is conditional. Of all my friends in a relationship, I think only 3…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 04:53 AM
8

What you say is mostly true of men too. You can get an unattractive plus-sized woman if you go on WooPlus or Facebook dating. The fact that you’re not rushing down there to meet them suggests that you have some sort of standards and as a result your ability to do so means nothing. There are entire demographics of women who struggle with sustainable relationship formation. Full-stop. Not every single-mother will not find a man willing to play step-dad, especially the younger they are and if they’…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 10:32 AM
7

Men become much more picky when it comes to relationship-formation. It takes a lot of time and effort to form a relationship and keep it going! You have to spend money and time on dates! Text them! Even contemplate the idea of intermingling with your partner and creating new life which takes an absurd amount of energy to raise to completion. Hence why a lot of women complain about how they’re unable to secure commitment from potential mates or men will stop abruptly seeing a woman after intimacy…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 06:33 PM
11

I don’t know. I am a below average man in many ways, but I have been lusted by multiple sexual partners before. I guess strangers don’t lust over average men. True. But most men aren’t “lusting” over strange average women either. It’s an activity usually reserved for those you’ve already built some sort of sexual or romantic relationship with.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 03:24 AM
1

I’ve had a overall decent-ish experience with dating. I say decent-ish in the sense that I can get dates pretty easily, I have been asked out by both men and women, and if all else goes well, I can generally speaking attract people just by going through the motions in my daily life (dating apps, work, school). I’m not unconfident in my ability to attract. The issue is that it generally falls apart when actually trying to form anything resembling a relationship. My last talking stage ended pretty…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 02:08 AM
40

I don't like the way this question is posed because it understates the fact that for relationship formation to happen, two parties have to tango; both the woman AND the man have to be on board, and giving away all the agency to women really downplays the structural nature of the issue. If women wants to get into a relationship, but less men are going out and the gender ratio of these social spaces are lopsided, that's simply relationship formation that won't happen. Men and women are similarly p…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 02:23 PM
5

Many, many, many people confuse relationship formation skills with skills that aid in relationship maintenance. "I can't attract women/opposite sex" is a top of the funnel problem, whereas abuse within a relationship is a problem once you've already successfully gotten through the funnel. Initial attraction is some sort of formula between objective attraction and sociability/extroversion, and being abusive doesn't harm your prospects at this point more often than not unfortunately. It probably i…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 04:29 AM
1

Some people are really, really good at social media, and notice that some viewpoints are simply more popular than others, and these people, being shrewd capitalists, adopt these viewpoints despite the lack of veracity associated with these views. Example: A common viewpoint on social media is that blue-collar workers have more favorable employment and salary prospects than college-educated white collar workers on average. This is not true. Despite this, influencers have picked this up as a commo…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 04:13 AM
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I think it’s a combination of a few things: Naturally, most people prefer to look within already existing social circles (school, work, friends of friends) before trying to date complete strangers. That means that a lot of the time, you’re getting the “leftovers” or people who were unsuccessful at finding a romantic partner within these circles and you can run into adverse selection. I’ve been on plenty of online dates and it was common that the women were neurodivergent, shut-in, or usually try…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 04:09 AM
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The closest any of my friends have gotten to being cold-approached or cold-approaching anyone is using dating apps or direct-messaging strangers on platforms like TikTok, it’s not a very popular strategy in real life because you don’t have much context of who the person is, which is unsurprisingly a very big blocker to relationship formation. Both men and women like people who have been vetted and the people who usually bemoan not being approached or over-index on the effectiveness of approachin…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 05:29 PM
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A whole post to be made about this to be quite honest, but I really dislike the people who frame the loneliness/rise of singleness/etc as an issue which uniquely affects one side or one where their gender is set to benefit. Plenty of data showing that women and men report self-reported loneliness at similar rates, and the singleness/sexlessness rate is similar on both sides on the isle (as one would expect, given a primarily monogamous society!).
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 04:44 AM
1

I agree. It’s alway curious to me that it’s such a popular talking online, but if you check out surveys of how relationships form, it’s usually some mix of school, work, friends of friends, and online. I think the best approach is to build a social life which naturally leads to warm leads with new women in your life; e.g volunteering, networking events, friends of friends, church, etc. When people legitimately bring up cold approach, it feels like an implicit statement that the opportunities for…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 04:31 AM
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I really think you underestimate the number of women who aren’t simply v desirable, especially if they’re not in online spaces. Surprising amount of my woman friends have gone years without even a flirt, talking stage, etc. They are university-aged women, involved in clubs, etc, so they’re not usually some sort of shut-ins either. These women aren’t very visible; they’re not writing articles in Vogue or making Tik-Toks, but their day-to-day does not involve romance. I also think you’re discounti…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 02:54 PM
2

The tiring part of this argument is that this isn’t actually a message towards all women, because there are plenty of women with standards lower than dirt (much to their own harm) who are chronically single, but also invisible to men because they’re not attractive or highly sociable women. I guarantee you, you can go on Facebook dating, swipe indiscriminately, and you will have several matches by the end of the week. Likewise, you can go to a singles event and try your luck with the lopsided gen…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 05:04 AM
1

PPD is a weird sub. All the outright red pill/misogynist stuff has gotten purged from Reddit over the years so a lot of the people who were or would be regulars at those type of subs have migrated here because it is the last place on Reddit where their views won’t cause them to receive a ban. The result is that the average PPD-er has a very different relationship with sex & relationships than a person you might normally see on the street. In my experience, there is no war between the sexes out i…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 04:53 AM
3

I think you should be in relationships with people who adore you. Once the attractiveness threshold has been crossed for me, I don't treat my partners any different - I have lots of love to give. It hasn't mattered if they're objectively attractive or more of a personal preference. I would agree that the woman should break up with such a man because it's a miserable situation for both parties. The woman always feels as if she's being mistreated because of her partner's lack of attraction to her,…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 01:17 AM
4

I really don’t understand this argument. Most of my relationships started because of repeat contact and/or physical attraction. I have never needed to “seduce”; the women liked me from the start and I just picked up on it. A lot of my woman friends are in relationships with men who, at least from the outside looking in, are very pleasant people. I am not a man bubbling with charm, and am known for my polite nature by others. Being a nice guy or orbiter is not a good strategy not because being ni…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 03:50 PM
0

One of my favorite movies ever is the 40 year old virgin. The movie emphasizes that the main character is a lifelong virgin not because he is unattractive (in fact, he becomes pretty popular with the ladies as soon as he starts to make an effort), but because he simply just doesn’t *try* . He doesn’t do much outside of work. He stays in, doesn’t have much a social circle, and hasn’t tried to court women ever since he was a teenager. Life passes him by, and he ends up…well, you guessed it: a 40 y…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 03:04 PM
6

You did those things lol, no one forced a gun to your head and told you to do it on 3 separate occasions. Where did the shame/pressure come from?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 01:47 AM
1

I think you can look at minorities in the US and their dating habits as an example of what happens to traditional monogamy/family formation in the future. Many of their communities are in advanced stages of trends which are now global. Most people will remain monogamous, but the idea of a stable, lifelong monogamous union will become increasingly foreign, especially as people choose not to have children. Some sort of serial monogamy will be common. People are much more reticent towards commitmen…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 08:40 AM
4

I think it’s really interesting to go take a trip back to the older r/ twoXchromosomes front page via the wayback machine and compare it to the front page currently. I’d say about 10 years ago we were probably at the cultural peak of the recent-most wave of feminism in the west and the page definitely reflected that - a lot more content about the institutionalization of women’s rights; planned parenthood, government bills to roll-back or advance [insert cause related to women], lack of rights fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 08:25 AM
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I think a lot of young men & women don’t understand the decline that happens when it comes to platonic social life as you get older. It can be easy to imagine being unpartnered when you spend lots of time with your friends because they don’t have partners of their own and responsibilities are limited, but this usually starts to changes during late 20s. It’s a bit sad seeing people mourn the changes because it does happen suddenly.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 07:34 AM
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I just don’t understand this method of argument where people go “yes, when you completely disavow the published statistics and go off my several anecdotes, the evidence is overwhelmingly on my side”. Married men have the most regular sex of any group of men, are significantly wealthier, are rated as having more life satisfaction, etc. They come out ahead on almost every single quality of life metric you can think of. There’s a reason why marriage has remained a strong tradition for the upper-mid…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 07:25 AM
2

There’s this frustrating belief that makes almost every single discussion about sex and relationships difficult where the ideal sexual relationship is one where a man/woman has a mini-harem of partners and everything else is a failure or compromise. I don’t know how else to politely put this down but this is just completely nonsense and ridiculous if you have actual dating experience. The distribution goes somewhat like this: 80% of people will have one or less sexual partners a year. Of that 80…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 07:55 PM
20

I have no friends who’ve met their partner via cold approach. I’ve had friends who met at college. Dating apps. TikTok DMs. Church. High school. Work. No “I waltz’d up to them and struck up a conversation with them off the street”. Most “how did you meet your partner” surveys usually have pure cold approach at sub-5% levels. The prevalence of it in online discussions seems to be super overblown compared to how much it happens in real life. It makes a great movie plot or how’d you meet story but …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 11:47 PM
1

If you wanted to tomorrow, I’m sure you could have a girlfriend. Download Facebook Dating, swipe on every single woman, have no standards for physical attraction/education/personality compatibility/values/life trajectory, and ask everyone out. You will have a girlfriend by the end of the week, promise. But, you won’t. Why? Because I’m sure that doesn’t sound like a desirable outcome or one that sounds better than being single. You probably wouldn’t like the woman and it would be a relationship d…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 12:47 AM
5

A lot of what I find missing from the approach conversation is the art of reading hints and determining if someone is into you or not. If you’re interested in someone, before you go guns ablaze, talk to them a few times, maybe tease out their interest in going out with you (“oh you know I’ve never been to X”) and check their behavior in general. It’s not difficult to deduce social signals imo. Don’t just ask them out because they’re attractive women. It’s not a complete solution to the problem, …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 02:09 PM
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69% of people are at a relationship at a given time. A good chunk of the 31% rotate in and out of relationships. You’re right OP. There’s this funny thing in US economic discourse where everyone believes themselves to be “middle class” - the doctor who makes 400,000 will answer “middle-class” on surveys asked about his class, and the 7-eleven worker on food-stamps will also answer “middle-class”. The result is that the term has been bastardized and doesn’t mean anything anymore. I think average …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 12:37 PM
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Good way to replicate this digitally is to become an influencer, especially in a highly women dominated niche. More than one of my friends has met their partner through TikTok, as insane as it sounds.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 11:05 AM
2

A lot of bad advice comes from a genuine desire to help. I don’t think there’s any Machiavellian strategy behind it. Most women didn’t meet their partners off a dating app, they’re not thinking of the sexual marketplace or dating as some meat market where the goal is to get the best deal. What happens is that a guy approached them, they went out with them, and formed a connection with them. Or, they approached a guy and formed a connection with them. Even my friends who did meet their partners o…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 02:05 AM
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I don’t think most women have enough “viable” options to really stack-rank men. They might have a guy from Kolkata who constantly DMs them or likes from Facebook dating asking them to sleep with them but true multi-dating is not really a viable option for non-top 5%tile of women outside of super large cities like New York or in super dense places like a college campus.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 12:52 PM
11

This is a really comprehensive list. Most of my chronically unsuccessful friends fall into one of these failure modes.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 07:28 PM
3

I am not a woman, but in the few times I’ve been approached for casual sex by one, it seemed like the likelihood of them having casual sex depended more on intrinsic traits and behavior than whatever I brought to the table. I just happened to be attractive and nearby when they got the itch.. One of the women was polyamorous and another just seemed to have a “party girl”, impulsive personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 07:16 PM
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That’s a really good question! Usually it was a mixture of physical attractiveness and just personality. If they physically attractive but also really easy to talk to, usually I want to see how things went. Physical attraction is pretty self-explanatory, but they were not only pretty but also really driven and had a well-formed sense of self, with hobbies and a worldview that they had spent a lot of time and effort forming. Sometimes it was not that, but they were just really easy to talk to. We…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 04:24 AM
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I’ve had multiple opportunities to get into a relationship but I’ve remained single. In one case the woman was literally crying to me to ask her to be her boyfriend, but I ended up refusing. Being single is not that bad, most of the time! Getting into a relationship and maintaining it takes a lot of time, and you have spend lots of resources on dates/ hanging out/ emotional needs/ etc. I really enjoy dating and I get some interest every time “I put myself out there”, but I also am pretty cogniza…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 04:11 AM
18

One of the things I pretty cynically believe is that most relationships with super large gaps (age, monetary, class, education, attractiveness, etc) are just not sustainable in the long-term, especially if the person with the relative advantage is “aware” of their value. If you are a 55 year old man, there is no reason that a 19 year old will want to be you over their own age-mates, unless it’s monetary. It doesn’t matter if you have insanely high status like Sharpe, it just is probably not that…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 03:57 AM
1

Most advice is useless tbh. The best advice I can give is to just try different shit until you find things that work for your temperament/personality/person you hope to attract. It’s like fine-tuning an LLM. There are 4 billion different women, each with their own tastes. Some like aggressive guys. Some like nerdy twitch streamers who sound like Deku. Personally, I found success by going off the beaten path and just being myself and meeting as many people as possible. How my friend met his partn…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 04:33 PM
1

One of the worst dating experiences for either gender is someone trying to date you when they don’t have any attraction for you or not enough attraction to maintain or start a relationship. I don’t think you have to think your partner is the 2nd coming of Kate Upton or David Corenswet but you should think “wow, this person has nice X/Y/Z” and generally are attractive to you. There’s been a clear difference in the treatment I’ve received in women who pointed out my physical features and those who…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 09:51 PM
23

I don’t believe in a just-world model. Some people will just be better at getting into relationships. Just like how some people will be better at getting good jobs. How some people are better at socializing and making friends. The traits that are useful for getting into relationships (attractiveness ,extroversion, risk-taking just to name a few) are not equally distributed across the human population, and some people will just have more success as a result of it. On a long enough time-scale, alm…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 05:50 PM
3

Not to be a smart-ass, but have you tried not cheating?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 05:10 PM
11

Case by case basis. Being a relationship with a toxic person isn't necessarily evidence of them being attracted to the behavior by default. Be more cautious than you would be with someone with no such baggage. If they actively seek to introduce elements of that behavior into the relationship or actively resent you for not being malignant, run for the hills.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 12:53 AM
53

A huge reason why the “toxic ex” is omnipresent is because people in stable relationships are much less likely to break up and therefore are not options on dating market. It’s a sorting problem. No doubt some of these women are unreliable narrators but people with the skills to form and maintain relationships in a healthy manner get snapped up very quickly, stay together, and are quiet because it’s pretty boring lol. Are people attracted to these personalities types and as a result intentionally…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 12:26 AM
3

I’ve gotten (warm-)approached by women several times, and while I really appreciate it, I’m also pretty resentful of my shy nature because I’m pretty sure that means that some other number of women that I would have found suitable for a relationship have probably had a passing thought about me but because I’m shy, I didn’t capitalize on it. Almost all my male friends have gotten approached too, so I would say that while it’s not the norm, it does happen a lot. Notably though, it has never been t…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 03:05 AM
0

once you get to the stage where you’re going on a date / hanging out one on one it’s fundamentally the same but: 90% of the women in my life have never touched a dating app and the pool of women who use dating apps across the apps is pretty much the same. I don’t know why this subreddit overrates their usage. in real life you don’t have to compete for attention in spaces which are 80:20 in terms of gender ratios. it’s really not that hard to just go up to a lady in class or ask to grab coffee wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 01:02 AM
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ya I’ve done it myself
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 07:57 PM
1

A lot of women have been fine with the fact that I bring companion and penis to the table. These count for something…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 11:35 AM
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If this applies to cold-approach: Good riddance lol. I think the impact of it has been over exaggerated by women/men with weak social networks. It has never been the primary way folks met their spouses. Bars and clubs exist to levy a tax on desperate single men. I was born in 2003, have many friends who go out and whatnot, and I can tell you no one gets anything beyond a few clappers there. People still do warm approaches and are coupling up with their classmates, friends of friends, people they…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 12:25 PM
1

Most men don’t meet their partner at the club or bar though. Never has been that way. It’s usually through school/work/friends/church
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 03:43 AM
0

Coochie selling game ain’t as lucrative as it used to be 😔
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 02:39 PM
0

Again, I do not know what y’all think the blue pill is, I take it to mean “not-red pill”. It says nothing about my views other than the fact that I don’t consider myself red pill. Non of these contradict themselves because there are 4 billion women! There are a lot of women out there, and they have a heterogeneous set of preferences and beliefs. There are women who like bums, but a lot of women also prefer men who have their shit together. Could you imagine a Georgetown graduate chasing a bum? T…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 01:36 AM
11

Yes lol. Higher status men don't have issues dating or getting married (if they want to). Most men in a white collar environment are married and it's a silent prerequisite for breaking into management at most company. College-educated upper middle class men have college, professional organizations, fraternities, an advantage on dating apps, amongst other things. In general most people regardless of class don't have a problem dating or getting play by the time they hit mid-adulthood. Sub-5% of me…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 12:58 AM
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How? Unless you’re say, targeting women who know each other, or making attempts as hostile as possible, your shots should have no bearing on the next one. How does the recluse get to point of escalation if they don’t have the skills to conduct themselves on a date? For the person with the large network, it’s basically automatic. Friends introduce friends of friends. You get introduced to parties. It keeps happening. It doesn’t take a gargantuan effort from them to find these women.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 12:36 PM
1

Social skills are important because they make it easier to stand out and you'll meet more people who could be potentially attracted to you if you talk to more people. The person who talks to 100 girls is going have better odds of finding someone who's into them than the person who talks to 10 girls. A average looking person who has a large social network and is meeting new people all the time will likely fare better than an attractive recluse. That being said... I have never seen this effect tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 04:30 AM
1

Where are you meeting these women? Common issue with dating app girls or women you only have very limited interaction with. Women are initially interested because of look/game/etc but relationship dynamic does not emerge and chemistry is stifled. Being able to go on multiple dates (5 dates with one person is a lot!) suggests that they at least gave it a serious try and you mentioned escalation. I'm guessing you had sex or at least make-out sessions with these women. (correct me if I'm wrong!) If…
/r/seduction26/03/26 04:13 AM
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Agree. One of the most notable dating/hook-up experiences I had was a Model UN conference where I met a girl through a paper we wrote together. I invited them to do some stuff together, and after some time together, they said they liked me, and we hooked up. No "first date conversations" , No "who pays first" or etc. A lot of relationships form this way, whether it be co-workers who talk for a bit longer than they're supposed to, people who exchange snapchats at a party or college students who s…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 10:47 PM
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I'm not sure what y'all think the blue-pill is imao. I picked this because it means "not-red pill". It doesn't mean I am a walking doormat for women, or I believe everything women say. I guess I'm similar to the median man when it comes to gender-relations: I have some woman friends, I occasionally date them, and will likely end up in a long-term relationship with one of them. The dynamic is different than it is with my bros of course, but we also disagree sometimes, and I hold a less than favor…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 10:27 PM
1

I've never needed to play this game of mystery when a woman was interested in me. I treat attraction as a binary choice: either they like me for who I am or they don't. I'm not auditioning for their approval because if they don't like me there are other woman who will. When a woman is into you it compensates for A LOT.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 10:20 PM
1

I’ve had really great success at online dating, in fact I’m going on a fourth date this weekend from it and I’m pretty hopeful that it will turn into something more concrete (she’s definitely interested) but I can’t pretend like it’s stigma is unearned. Gender ratios and behavior of the user base means that only 20% of dating app users will ever end up on a date from it, and most of the people who do end up going on dates from it, end things after the first date. Additionally, it turns something…
/r/seduction11/03/26 12:38 AM
3

One of the things I appreciate the most about the women I’ve dated is that they would go out of their way to do things, no prompt needed. They would call me cute when I was FaceTime with them. They would pay for dates occasionally or ask me out. They would go out their way to show that they appreciated me. I don’t need or expect a 50/50 dynamic; but just sometimes as a reminder is very nice. I don’t want a celebrity/fan dynamic with anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 04:44 PM
5

you describe yourself as unambitious and it seems like you don't desire children of your own. nothing wrong with this, but a lot more of your preferences emerge from this than you realize. It also seems like you date around, and you aren't dating these woman for LTRs (correct me if I'm wrong!). I think you're the prototypical cool "uncle/step-dad" figure - guy who's totally fine being around children that aren't necessarily his own because he has no desire for paternity and doesn't really care a…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 03:09 AM
1

I think most people have a mixture of blue and red pill views. Most people will tell you that initial attraction is important, and romance is not possible without an adequate amount of it. My blue pill leaning stance comes the fact that most people do indeed find themselves in a position to have sex/relationships/date by mid adulthood, no matter how ugly/poor/bad they are personality wise. I also think you're misrepresenting BP views? I don't believe woman are flawless angels, or that sexual suc…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 04:09 PM
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I had this mindset, or at least elements of this mindset when I was younger. I am also the same age as you. Bottling it up and hoping money can change things does not work. Giving up is not a strategy, at least not a sustainable one. You will see your peers get into relationships and it will crush you. The most painful part is when you see people with your attributes out in public with their partner doting on them, which exposes that it's not really the physical traits, but rather something else…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 03:58 PM
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The intrasexual competition here is strong lol. Not sure how you intend to start a relationship if you're not able to spend money on a date at all. Spend within your means. Spend what you're comfortable with. But this aversion to taking any sort of risk in the service of romance seldom works out and it's another form of cowardice.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 03:42 PM
12

Please speak for yourself lol
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 04:42 AM
5

I think the difference is that these topics will naturally come up with other party as they start to see you as a viable option. I went on a 3rd date with a beautiful woman recently and I don't think "dating" as a topic came up on the first date until she asked me what I was looking for. Instead we mostly talked about our upbringing and it worked out. On the first date, I'm looking mostly to see if they're an interesting enough hang (because I mostly date for long-term). I realized all the seduc…
/r/seduction07/03/26 04:34 AM
2

The reason why people think in leagues is exactly what you’re describing though. It’s basically a form of risk minimization. Couples aren’t randomly selected, they will often cluster around and select each other on certain traits. One of the most common ways people will do so is physical attraction, because it’s quickly and immediately observable. I can immediately tell someone looks like me. I can immediately tell that they have physical traits that I like. I can pursue hot women, but I notice …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 01:50 PM
9

There are countless studies that have been done on this. Men are much, much, much more sexual. It’s not even particularly close. Median guy has a sex drive that would put him in the top quartile on the female side. The sexual part of many of the hobbies you mention are ironically designed to appeal to male consumers! I was pursued by a gay man who was my coworker once. It was insane. He would text me nearly hourly, tried to get me to jerk off with him twice, despite me showing no type of interes…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 01:29 PM
2

A lot of the complaints from dating apps come from the pre-date stage, before people have gone on the date, or went on a date, only to not go on another date because of lack of attraction/low social grace/etc. I found that basically after the 2nd date, it becomes a normal dating situation as long as you've escalated and confirmed that the other party is attracted to you in some form. The issue is that due to ratios and number of oddballs on the apps, many peoples' experience with the apps never …
/r/seduction04/03/26 11:54 PM
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I wouldn't say that not being attracted to people outside of my preferences makes me a bigot. I can acknowledge that there are women that are not my preference racially who are aesthetically pleasing and objectively attractive, but looking at them doesn't invoke the "wow I'd like to rock that bod" reaction for whatever reason. I think most people are the same, given how strong racial preferences are across the board.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 12:12 PM
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Eh. I don't think it's legitimately a problem. I am only attracted to women around my age, of my race, and of a certain BMI. If you run the numbers on it, that's probably maybe 1-3% of the women I run into on a daily basis, at least outside of selected environments like college campuses and affinity groups. I assume it's the same for a good chunk of women as well. I think we tend to overestimate the % of the population we're attracted to because we're in selected environments where traits like y…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 11:39 AM
1

It sounds like you’re weeding out the unreliable losers who lie about true desires, sounds good to me! You can’t win everyone. This is a result of poor sorting I think. You gotta meet these men who value commitment where they are. Sometimes it’ll be work, school, or church. Just in a place where men who are normal about commitment meet. Dating apps can be good, but they pool everyone together and don’t give you much to go off of, so you get more fuckboys. I am not a fuckboy and really good prior…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 02:37 PM
1

Eh. All these excuses not to approach feel like another example of cowardice. I’ve been approached by women before and I’ve approached women as well, and if you can get past the initial impression stage, outcomes are usually similar. You can actually tell if they like you just based off of hints, touch, and how they treat you sexually. It’s hard to fake desire over a long period of time. The reason I think it’s worthwhile to approach is because I have larger access to women than I otherwise woul…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 02:20 PM
1

Ultimately, most men, no matter how mediocre they are, will go through life having found at least 1 partner. There are ugly boyfriends, short dads, obese husbands, frail fuckbuddies, and so on so forth. You do not have to be exceptional or above average to have access to consistent sex. You just have to get lucky once. Access to connection w the opposite sex is already a solved problem for most of humanity, and is not that difficult to solve. The tournament like dynamics and scarcity that red pi…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 05:35 AM
1

I did this for a while when I first hopped on dating apps and begun to date. It was useful for a while, and i think it helped me identify what I wanted in terms of a partner/the types of people I clicked with. It was also pretty useful in terms of identifying genuine interest from women vs not. I met women who were on tinder looking for other men during the date. I met women who paid for my food. After you go on a decent amount of dates, you get a pretty good feel for which ones are going to go …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 02:59 AM
2

Lol no. Searching for a woman who likes me that I also like is painful and excruciating. I’m not ruining that for a passing “some hot ass would be nice” thought.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 08:32 PM
1

I enjoy the boyfriend stuff. it's nice to hang out with an opposite gender close friend and do stuff together while also having sex with her. I love hanging with people that I love.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 01:55 AM
1

I am a skinny, lanky guy, 145 pounds at 6'0, have a recessed jaw, and lazy eye. I do have nice style and a hair-style that is attractive to many ladies in my community, and am tall I guess. But on the basis of the blackpill I should be some sort of incel who has never even felt the touch of a woman. I have been with on average 1-2 women a year sexually since I started actively dating 3 years ago, and women have asked me out. When I walk out, I see schlubby looking fat dudes with wives and kids, …
/r/seduction21/02/26 09:29 PM
4

Had a pretty confusing situation where I went out for several dates with a lady who indicated that she wanted "short-term fun" on her profile but when we were on the actual dates themselves they were extremely platonic despite my attempts to escalate. Eventually, I cut my losses because it was costing me both time and money, and I wasn't getting anywhere with her. Your situation is a bit weirder than mine because you have gotten somewhere sexually (tittyfucking) and she seems like an outwardly s…
/r/seduction21/02/26 09:04 PM
15

algorithm promotes outliers (ppl into bdsm, whores, casual sex, women who have gone on 100+ dates) because watching outliers is interesting but this isn't the median or average woman's experience re:dating. most ppl date within their social circle, are staunchly monogamous, and date with the intention of a monogamous relationship. you don't hear about these outcomes because it's not interesting to hear "I went on a date with a guy who asked me out from church, I liked him, we went out again, the…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 12:37 AM
1

Once I find the person attractive, there's no real difference in how I perceive people. It doesn't feel 2x better to fuck a 10 over a 5, assuming I find both the 5 and 10 attractive. It's mostly a gate for me, idk how it works for other men. God willing, I find my partner attractive. The shared context and romantic feelings likely make it better than just sleeping with a random attractive woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 01:10 AM
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I want a person that I have an adequate amount of sex with that I am also really good friends with. That’s ideal. The presence of sexual attraction and intimacy is what separates most relationships from platonic friendship. “The only use sex has is procreation” from a biological standpoint sure, but it’s also a bonding tool for couples. The point is that “ridiculously sex negative to point where they’re not having sex at all despite being married” is a situation that maybe describes the bottom q…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 02:23 PM
1

Ok, but if I enter a heterosexual relationship and don’t have sex, that’s going to cause a rupture with the person I’m with, rightfully so. It’s not a need, just like how me going to work and doing good work or me being a good friend isn’t a need. I don’t need to do these things, but there is an underlying assumption in the social contract that I take on with the other person. The point is that these people’s views are wildly unrepresentative of the average or median view because their ne-sorry,…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 03:53 AM
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I don’t think your partner looked past your looks though! You can very well be attractive to your partner without being objectively attractive. Arguably, that’s most people’s situations. Both women and men have found me attractive despite being a 144 pound 6’ lanky human with a recessed jaw. I think the advice is “find someone who’s attractive to you and also attainable”. For most people, this means dating within their league. Plus-size people with plus-size people, average people with average p…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 03:45 AM
2

Honestly this isn’t just a guy problem. This is a “valuing sexual attraction and nothing else” problem which I’ve seen in both men and women. Honestly, I had this problem when I first started dating. I was so happy to be with women of any kind that I’d just go out with anyone on the condition that they were attractive to me (and even then!), and had XX chromosomes. I’ve never had so many awkward dates in my life. This started to resolve itself when I started to screen for compatibility beyond at…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 04:41 PM
4

Open relationships are so uncommon that I don’t think it explains much about human behavior at all. Most of the people in them are fairly odd in a number of ways. So it’s definitely not “most women”. I’d also be surprised if women were the ones proposing open relationships most of the time. Most of what human psychology tells us about sociosexuality and promiscuity suggests that men are likelier to propose an open relationship than women. Women generally like monogamy more than men, even if they…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 01:27 PM
1

Wow, you’re telling me an unproductive, physically unattractive person might not have many options? This is the first time I’ve heard this. How are fat women treated? How are darkskin black women treated? How are single mothers treated? There are penalties for being physically unattractive for women too. There are penalties for being useless for women too. I’m sure this hypothetical guy would have some reservations which would prevent his from pursuing his desirability match. No shit you’re not …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 03:57 PM
2

I have never needed to “build interest” with a woman. It’s either there or it’s not. I’m not a fan of the r2d2 game where I act like her desire has to be unlocked with a set of actions, as if I’m playing a story mode game. The point is that it’s not exhausting to want to talk to someone you’re genuinely interested in, or want to meet with them. I don’t need to predict or use a crystal ball, I’m observing their behavior and choosing to react based off of it
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 01:53 PM
3

There are plenty of ways for a woman to communicate interest or desire beyond sex. Does she start conversations with you? Maintain them? One of the clearest signs I see from disinterested people is that they struggle to maintain conversations; hence double texting. Does she actually want to hang out with you and make it easy to hang out with you? If you can’t make it to a spot because of say a logistical issue, is she ok w an alternative? The easiest way to predict desire was that there was reci…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 05:29 AM
3

This thought always eludes me when I see it - when you go out in public you see plenty of women paired up with men, holding their hands and being visibly affectionate in public. 98% of women are bisexual or straight. I see plenty of unremarkable men in relationships; they're not super high status or anything, but they found a good and loyal woman to be by their side. I would agree if you said that there is a disparity between the sexual desire of the average man and the average women, that's jus…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 11:12 AM
1

So I think leagues aren't fake - after all there is a moderate correlation w looks when it comes to pairing; most couples you see on the street will be 1-2 "points" within each other. Most studies put the correlation somewhere around 0.5-0.6, with it rising as high as 0.8. It's not some sort of caste system where you're not allowed ask out someone much more attractive than you, and people do end up in relationships with people much more/much less attractive with them all the time - status, money…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 06:31 AM
5

I mean there are a lot of ways to do well w/ women that aren’t just night-life environments. I’m a skinny nerdy looking guy and I have done alright-ish, in the sense I can expect to have 1-2 new sexual partners a year through pure passivity and sometimes dating apps. Nothing really beats pure proximity. The girl knowing you exist and you just interacting with them as a person can do a lot of work. Honestly, I don’t know how to flirt and I cringe internally when I do it. I just hang out with them…
/r/seduction29/01/26 03:22 PM
2

I can’t say “oh this person will definitely be my partner” but I can tell if they won’t be my partner and honestly, that’s good enough. A lot of first dates have taught me that the traits you identify and have an icky feeling about, show up in other dates and they don’t really go away. Obviously you won’t like some traits, but some are more consequential and damaging to a relationship than others. That said, perhaps in contradiction of my own point lol, I was a nervous mess on the most recent fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 06:59 AM
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My view: It always helps to have agency. Obviously don’t orbit around women and learn to figure of clear signs of disinterest, but generally speaking i have been rewarded with more sex since i started to take a more active approach toward initiating with women. I feel like if you’re in a “chasing” position post-first date or after giving them your number, then yeah it’s not a good position to be. But overall, I think it has been advantageous that I am able to take a more active approach setting …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 10:29 AM
28

I'm close friends with some women, and a common topic of discussion is our dating lives. Firstly, a lot of women are simply not very extroverted. You won't catch these women at the club, or partying, and they mostly just hang out within existing friends. "Meeting new people" is a skill, and like all skills, there is a bell curve in terms of ability. Some women go out every weekend, are on a billion dating apps, ask for introductions, but most women don't do all these, and some don't do any of th…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 06:18 AM
4

I’ll give you a re-telling of probably my most contentious dating experience to date: First date: we schedule for boba, she agrees and is initially excited, but she cancels the day before due to her losing her job and feeling down as a result. I ask her to reschedule, but she tells me she can’t put a timeline on things because of her lack of unemployment. I think this was fair, tbh. I would rather her recover from such a thing, than have her show up, and feel off, with the chemistry feeling off …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 04:43 PM
2

I’ve always said that this jester dynamic shouldn’t exist post first date. By then, she should have a concrete idea of who you are as a person, if she’s attracted to you, and if she could at least see potential for a relationship. I think contrary to popular belief, the pool of people that are (1) attractive (2) somewhat compatible is pretty small, so when people come across people that meet these 2 criteria, they immediately lock in and start to push things forward. I’ve only had to play the ro…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 03:53 PM
3

Yes. This is what’s confusing to me. The dates with women who I ended up having sex with and the dates with women which I would end/they would end because of lack of chemistry were materially different. I have no frame of reference for a woman who would allow herself to get into a relationship with a guy she’s not into because he’s the “safe” guy. A woman who’s not into you will try and get away from the kiss, so I couldn’t even imagine it getting to sex. The easiest way to figure out if someone…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 05:20 PM
3

the best way to start getting invited to spaces like these is just show up lol. eventually you’ll meet a few people who like going out and they’ll be like “hey thot444! good meeting you at the bullshit party! wanna come to the dumb shit party this weekend?” eventually you’ll meet more and more ppl and then you’ll have the opposite problem lol
/r/seduction08/03/25 04:11 AM
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