cosmicjoker1776 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
6	Manipulation or weaponizing of children If you have scheduled time written in a signed parenting plan, it is 100% up to you how those kids spend it (with you or not). But know that if you don't take your scheduled time with them, it can and likely will be used against you if the STBX is malicious/vindictive/abusive/etc. Also, if the STBX is scheduling things for the kids during your scheduled time (without your knowledge), it is highly likely that this is done on purpose. This behavior puts you in a crappy position of being the cool d…	/r/Divorce_Men	29/11/21 03:14 AM
0	Advice from finalized dude (Social media) Gotta say that it's unlikely that the lawyers are doing the sniffing. Not unless you are infinitely wealthy. I screenshot all of the really bad texts that the STBXW sends and then I shot them off to the attorney and the guardian ad litem. So my guess is that the attorneys aren't the ones scrubbing your info, it's the STBX.	/r/Divorce_Men	26/05/21 03:33 AM
3	Is the marriage counselor playbook completely sexist? This so much. It's easy to look at it like the counselor is in the man blame game when it's more like the counselor knows that no one wants to accept responsibility. It's easier to lay blame at the guys feet, mainly because we're I'll equipped to handle the barrage of argument from the woman because we'll try and use fact based argument when it's a feelings argument. The fact that those don't mix didn't register for most of us and we won't change tactics because we "know" we're in the right. It …	/r/Divorce_Men	13/04/21 06:43 PM
4	We’ve just decided to separate It does get better. It does get easier. They both take time. Therapy helps. But it is just like anything else. You get out what you put in. It isn't magic. You have to do work. I'm 11 days from 12 months since she moved out with her boyfriend. I got therapy, exercised (weights), and cried, got angry, and plotted. Talking and waiting and finding a fuck buddy (not necessarily the best thing, but it worked for me) helped. She broke up with him 2 months ago and wanted to come back to me (I told her …	/r/Divorce_Men	14/02/21 01:20 AM
1	My main regret. That gave me a much needed chuckle today. Thanks. One day you'll get to tell her that. One day.	/r/Divorce_Men	07/10/20 07:24 PM
1	Anyone else feel like arguments leading to divorce talk pop up every 7 or 8 days? I haven't actually counted the days, but yeah. Every week or two there is a interaction with the STBX where I forward the screenshots (99.99% of our interactions are via text or email) to the Gardian ad Litem and my attorney's office. Sometimes I'm the ass that misinterprets and causes her meltdown, but usually it's her that instigates nonsense and tries to gaslight me.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/09/20 02:26 PM
0	Who's trying to save it? Short answer: there are all kinds of people who like all kinds of things. Telling someone that they should only be one way isn't realistic, let alone healthy (for either party).	/r/Divorce_Men	26/09/20 08:58 PM
0	Who's trying to save it? The truth is that my daughter loves her mom and her mom absolutely loves our daughter. I'm just beside myself that the boyfriend is in the same house. The best thing for my daughter is 50/50. Period. But it feels like I have to fight for full custody just to get fair custody. That may or may not be the case, but that just how it feels.	/r/Divorce_Men	26/09/20 07:42 PM
1	Who's trying to save it? Right now it's just a Temporary Parenting Plan, but it could turn permanent if I don't fight it. I don't have a reason why she has 80% custody other than the court clerk just signed off on the proposed plan that was submitted by her, without looking at it (it happened in April, peak COVID shut down). We have a Gardian ad Litem and I really hope that she recommends at least 50/50 but I'm hoping for primary custody. The STBX wants to move out of the school district, so I'll have a solid opportunit…	/r/Divorce_Men	26/09/20 03:39 PM
3	Who's trying to save it? This is a crazy similar situation as mine. I tried for a few months, but she continued to pull away. I eventually gave up. It wasn't going to happen because she didn't want it to happen. It's only been 7 months since she's moved out, and into a new place with the new guy (she also has our daughter 5 days a week in the same house as her and the new boyfriend, which triggers all of the angry types of emotions and utter outrage in me). The divorce is still in process and cannot wait for this proces…	/r/Divorce_Men	26/09/20 06:57 AM
1	Has anyone divorced their wife due to her being infertile? Thanks. If it's helpful to just one person, then I'm beyond happy.	/r/Divorce_Men	12/09/20 03:50 PM
3	Has anyone divorced their wife due to her being infertile? IMHO, it's a personal choice. I wouldn't divorce solely for infertility. But that's me, not you. If infertility on her part is a deal breaker, medical assistance is out of the question, and adoption is not acceptable... Then make your choice. If I've learned only one thing from this (ongoing) shitty situation it's this: that a personal choice has far reaching consequences (positive and negative) that are never intended, thought of, or forseen. Keeping your head above water while staying above bo…	/r/Divorce_Men	10/09/20 11:05 PM
5	Aaaarrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhh Yeah. Fully. It's been almost 7 months since she's left and while I'm glad that she's gone, I still had a crying jag last night because I am so broken up about it all. Let it out. Find someone to talk to (professional and personal).	/r/Divorce_Men	27/08/20 05:00 PM
1	Dating again! If she didn't have any long term relationships, then that's a red flag. No kids is fine, the thing with that would be does she treat kids well, just tolerate them, or outright dislikes them.	/r/Divorce_Men	06/08/20 08:46 PM
2	Regarding a new relationship I tried that. She just spouted "you can't control me anymore" or that she "deserves to be happy, too" not realizing that it was about our child's safety, comfort, & well-being (sure, it was a little about her and the new boyfriend that she left me for, but the main point was overall our daughter).	/r/Divorce_Men	31/07/20 03:07 PM
2	When does the guilt end? I can understand, but you're bet off on planning for later. =( Plan for the worst, hope for the best.	/r/Divorce_Men	29/07/20 07:00 PM
2	When does the guilt end? Seriously, give yourself time to greive. Be kind to yourself and allow your feelings to happen. When you are ready, then and only then you won't feel guilt or remorse or anything else about it and can move on.	/r/Divorce_Men	29/07/20 02:39 PM
7	I lost weight and my friends knew before I did. Big V. AKA vasectomy, not "sexy abdominals". =)	/r/Divorce_Men	17/07/20 05:44 AM
3	The worst part Now, if only I can apply my own advice to my own divorce/life, I'd be set!	/r/Divorce_Men	12/05/20 03:45 AM
5	The worst part IMO, it takes two to tango. Shy of cheating or some other "deal breaker," it takes two to maintain a marriage which means it takes two to let one fall apart. Lack of communication on her part is her fault. Good on you for taking ownership of your behavior, but she had a voice and could have voiced her feeling on your "failure to launch". If she did and you didn't do anything or enough about it, then it's your fault. Otherwise it's a shared burden.	/r/Divorce_Men	12/05/20 03:05 AM
1	How do I (43M) "work on myself"? All of it is terrible. My mom did the same thing to my dad when I was 12 (30 years ago). It's had lasting effects and, in light of my current situation, new effects. Everything is emotionally violent about this process. It's super shitty.	/r/Divorce_Men	01/03/20 06:34 PM
2	How do I (43M) "work on myself"? The "deal breaker" doesn't help. If she wanted to come back to me, I'd probably fold and let her. I want my family back and my life back.	/r/Divorce_Men	01/03/20 04:34 PM
2	How do I (43M) "work on myself"? My STBXW of 11 years is doing something very similar to me. There is nothing that anyone can do or say to lessen how you feel. Unfortunately, only time will ease the pain. You need to let the grieving process happen. The pain you'll suffer will likely never be "fixed", the most you'll hope for is that it becomes less of a burden to you over the years. Following through with therapy is important. Make yourself a better person, regardless of what may happen with your wife. Being productive (gym, w…	/r/Divorce_Men	01/03/20 04:24 PM
3	Divorce - truth or not Mine is doing the exact same thing. She can't or won't admit fault and as such rewrites her history with me. At least that how it comes across.	/r/Divorce_Men	29/02/20 03:16 AM