crabbyvista Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
7	My traplord boyfriend (?) thinks i need to humble myself. yeah, and honestly, marrying a drug dealer/benzo abuser is a damn good way to ruin your life anyway, so I don’t know why him talking about marriage is supposed to be such a great sign of him being high value. You’d be legally shackling yourself to an actual criminal is there such a thing as a negative value man? Because I feel like this guy counts as a liability	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	13/07/20 05:20 PM
14	My traplord boyfriend (?) thinks i need to humble myself. as soon as you said “Xanax bender” I was out. Someone like that is just going to be a millstone around your neck and you don’t come from money or influence, so you can’t afford the extra drag. that kind of nonsense is for trust fund kids, like your bf’s roomie. it’s ok for you to think you are “too good” to tolerate certain situations. That’s what having standards is. If you let a loser whine til you lower your standard to meet his... he tends to just lower his some more lol. plus, if any of thi…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	13/07/20 06:19 AM
6	How to know quickly if he’s a 50/50 guy? Have you talked to your friends about how they found their husbands and how this evolved? I agree it’s a good model and really accounts for the way modern marriages work. Most men really will never do half or more the domestic/childcare work so it’s stupid to expect women to carry half the financial load. I’ve always done the “everything goes in one big pot” method which worked fine when I was a SAHM, ok-ish when we worked similar amounts, and then pissed me off to no end when I was the breadwin…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	29/05/20 08:34 AM
2	I love my boyfriend so much but he has never been in a good financial position and it's taking it's toll. no worries. I spent YEARS agonizing about my last relationship. Classic “too good to leave but not really good enough to stay” situation.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	29/05/20 07:54 AM
2	I love my boyfriend so much but he has never been in a good financial position and it's taking it's toll. I remember you! It’s ok to outgrow a partner. Happens all the time, and doesn’t mean either of you aren’t nice people. Most people are reasonably nice. You can’t plan your life around every nice person who crosses your path. I wish I had heeded the voice in me that told me it was time to move on when I was 30 instead of letting it all drag out for another six years. I thought I was giving “us” a chance and proving that I was a good woman. plus, on a more selfish note, change is scary and I was w…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	29/05/20 07:27 AM
12	How to know quickly if he’s a 50/50 guy? yes, I think I understand what you’re saying. The marriages I know that operate the way you describe have kind of a “his money is our money, and her money is her money” philosophy going on, and it works because 1) female companionship is more valuable to men than vice versa and 2) women do way more domestic/childcare work than men, regardless of the financials, making a 50/50 financial arrangement a bad deal for the woman, as you mention. The women in these arrangements never lose sight of this,…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	29/05/20 06:43 AM
3	LVM caught in the wild. sounds good. I’d miss sex, and the guy I’m with now can be really sweet. but yah, puttering around my own place and doing my crafts and never ever hearing an able bodied adult ask “what’s the dinner plan?” from behind a video game screen sounds pretty good too. and let me not forget the pointed “what did you think of this?” when the thing I made doesn’t suit his tastes. excuse me sir but this ain’t a fucking cooking show (sorry, I’m obviously in a mood right now. Good lord)	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	06/05/20 07:05 PM
3	LVM caught in the wild. You’d really hope so, but I’m currently watching a grown man sulk over what I thought was a productive and reasonable discussion about chores and how I am not necessarily interested in doing 80 percent of them, while also being the only person in the house to hold a FT job. hoo boy... it’s gonna be a rough ride. meantime... I just saw an ad for the cutest lil cottage in my price range. I’m keeping the vision of that house in my mind for strength rn lol. These men, I swear... exhausting! If it we…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	06/05/20 06:10 PM
3	I have an avoidant attachment style I’m avoidant as hell. You don’t spend the formative years of your life learning that relationships are temporary and what you want/need doesn’t matter without winding up a little fucked in the head. The thing that has helped most so far is understanding “detachment with love.” You can love someone, or even just enjoy their company, without having to get mixed up in all their bullshit. And that sounds avoidant too, but I think avoidant people often place excessively high stakes on relationships, …	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	01/05/20 06:05 AM
14	'Pickme doing everything right yet BF has deathgrip ED & can't experience pleasure w/ her because porn (supernormal stimuli) is more of a turn on. She cooks, cleans, & pays 1/2 but can't get sex. He games, shares porn w/ his bro, masturbates to who knows what depravity in the bathroom.' Just leave! she’s reached that “what is the point?” moment and there’s really no coming back from that, in my experience. I don’t know why men fail to heed obvious warning signs, but they do.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	22/04/20 07:36 AM
4	I'm getting fed up of being long distance with my boyfriend. Not sure what to do anymore and would appreciate some advice. ah, the complacent/lazy nice guy. This kind of guy is my downfall too. I’m initially attracted to their genuine-ness and easygoing natures, (plus they can be really cute in a natural way, when they’re trying!) But since I’m so glad they’re not out-and-out fuckboys/narcissists/abusers, I let waaaaaay too much apathetic laziness slide as the months and years wear on. Eventually you’re sitting across a table, on a date you planned, with an unemployed guy in a patchy home haircut and a pair of stain…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	20/04/20 05:04 PM
5	I'm getting fed up of being long distance with my boyfriend. Not sure what to do anymore and would appreciate some advice. I’m sure he’s a great guy but honestly? everyone’s one in a million lol. (We are all one in seven billion!) Don’t let fear of never finding another nice, non-abusive man on the entire planet stop you from sitting with your genuine feelings about this one. Trust me, you can stuff feelings like this for awhile but they WILL seep out around the edges and probably eventually explode. That’s an awful way to live, and not fair to either of you. I’d also add that in my experience, relationships can rea…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	20/04/20 04:12 PM
7	I'm getting fed up of being long distance with my boyfriend. Not sure what to do anymore and would appreciate some advice. I think it’s quite common, but is that what you want out of life? In my view, a solid majority of marriages are frankly pretty meh, and a sizeable minority are actively toxic. I think you have to set your own standard if you’re looking for fulfillment and not just societal approval.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	20/04/20 03:59 PM
9	I'm getting fed up of being long distance with my boyfriend. Not sure what to do anymore and would appreciate some advice. yep, except I’m not saying “try” but “do”	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	20/04/20 03:53 PM
32	I'm getting fed up of being long distance with my boyfriend. Not sure what to do anymore and would appreciate some advice. My take: you need to separate your legitimate and immediate desire to move out of your family home from your (nebulous) dreams of the future with this guy. To me, it sounds like you being desperate/ready to get out of the house is coloring your feelings about your boyfriend in unhealthy ways. You may find him more compelling than he really is if he represents an “exit” to your unhappy home situation. And you may find yourself unfairly frustrated with him for not rushing right in and rescuing you…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	20/04/20 03:44 PM
219	I hate this channel at least the men are usually attractive, in that generic sears catalog model way. These movies are clearly made for a female audience, as opposed to a Seth Rogan movie. I think the “rejecting the flashy city life” trope is really about flattering the audience and showing them an idealized vision of their own modest lives. Reverse class snobbery, etc. And the guy is an idealized version of someone they could imagine meeting: good-looking, with a modest profession that he works steadily at and tak…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	20/04/20 03:25 PM
5	I literally can’t stop laughing. Scrote pressures wife into “open marriage” doesn’t go the way he thought it would... monogamy is for men’s benefit. it was ever thus. Couple that with a system of denying women direct access to resources, and you’ve turned women into kind of a rationed commodity. Most men could expect to get a wife under such a system. Eventually this morphed into convincing women that monogamy exists purely for our own good, that we would crumble without it. Nonsense. Women can always get sex, and for loyal companionship and the nuts-and-bolts of keeping a family fed and clothed, who is really …	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	20/04/20 07:01 AM
15	Why does it seem like the early 20s woman and early 30s man combo is so prevalent lately? Work, friend circles. Maybe online dating. Especially for blue-collar people, there’s not that protective bubble of college, grad school, etc that keeps promising groups of same-age peers together and advancing at comparable rates til they’re all 21-25. Instead, you graduate HS and get thrown directly into an all-ages workplace and social scene, where people have wildly varying situations, levels of ambition, and life stages going on. maybe he’s a cook at the restaurant where you wait tables, or…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/04/20 05:53 AM
3	"Other girls don't get butt hurt like you" in this context “dab” is marijuana concentrate. popular with people who smoke a LOT of weed.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	05/04/20 01:29 AM
6	What are some of your red flags, that will make you leave someone immediately? my motto is “want her? Go get her!” most men know deep down that they’re not going to pull whatever fantasy girl they’re talking up to you. (If they thought they could, they would) She’s just a stick to beat you with. Best case scenario, he’s trying to make you more like her. (for your own good ofc lol) Worst case, he wants to cut you down down just because your discomfort amuses him. ew Ask yourself: Do you talk up hot/smart/funny dudes to him? Probably not, because you know it’s disrespectful …	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	01/04/20 06:07 AM
1	Is marriage worth it anymore? you don’t have to be married and divorced to have child custody disputes. You just have to have kids. I’ve met plenty of never-married parents who wind up in court over custody and support issues.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	31/03/20 07:14 AM
20	Who are some of the HVM in your life? my grandfather. Worked hard all his life, saved and invested wisely for his family, is scrupulously honest, is curious about the world, helps my grandma with her exercises and housework, manages my great-grandma’s (his mother-in-law) financial and legal business with her best interest at heart. He is devoted to my grandma even though (and perhaps, I realize now BECAUSE) she is feisty as hell lol has no major vices and, not coincidentally, is in good physical condition for an octogenarian. Especi…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	22/03/20 04:57 PM
5	“Synonyms” for HVM and LVM?? respectful guys vs whiny losers	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	22/03/20 11:44 AM
3	This sub is great and the hate it recieves is hilarious FDS makes complete sense to me: it’s the kind of advice my grandma used to give me before I decided I was too enlightened to listen to a woman who’s been married for 50 fookin years to the same ambitious and kind man. Duhhhh I should call my grandma tomorrow... honestly, she saw the writing on the wall in my marriage like 10 years before I did. And she really tried to warn me that I was doing way too much. anyway, thanks ladies. Hope this space always stays genuinely focused on what’s good for w…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	22/03/20 06:24 AM