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crankyrhino Archive

View 0 posts and 56 comments by crankyrhino on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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7

Mine did that to me. About 18 months post-divorce after going minimal-contact (we're co-parenting) she learned I was dating someone seriously when she met her during a co-parenting drop-off. Blew up my phone with the craziest re-write of the whole divorce that she had demanded, telling me she still felt married, seeing me with someone else made her sick, etc etc. It wore off after about six weeks. I'm pretty sure she's out there dating or trying to right now. The point, and how it might relate t…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 07:57 PM
2

Just keep being yourself and see where it goes. No need to be in a hurry.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 08:15 PM
2

Temporary spousal support, but no where near lifetime alimony. I don't know if any states even have lifetime anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 04:38 AM
1

Fair. His ideas of faith might not have matched hers, but the phrase, "...whom she is on fire for God with..." implies he sees her in her faith now and approves. That sounds aligned without presumption.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 05:20 PM
1

Maybe that was your experience. There's way too much we don't know about OP from this post to make that characterization.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 05:13 PM
14

It was never about god.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 04:54 PM
10

Immediately after sex another time (this may have been our last time): "My co-worker Paul says he masturbates to the thought of me". My response: I was in shock.... I was just like "uhhh WTF?!" To me, this was the big signal flare that she's ready to move on to other things. There's no work environment where this exchange is appropriate. The fact that she didn't immediately follow this sentence with, "So of course I called HR..." says it all. This had to be invited somehow.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 05:26 PM
10

Imagine being so broken your brain thinks everything is about your politics. EDIT: LOL he got pissy, made a stupid, "I was only kidding, duh," reply, and blocked me. I can see why his wife left him, what a man-baby.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 01:55 AM
11

This is the best advice here. Also, DO NOT IGNORE SELF-CARE. Keep taking care of you, and if you're not, start. Start or keep going to the gym, Hire a therapist for the emotional work of navigating this. Keep your friends and family close. Do not feel selfish finding things to enjoy during this time; you need them. Do not doom scroll, linger on Reddit subs like this, search YouTube for, "Can I fix her," or try to find copium on social media in any way - the algorithm will flood you and this is a…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 09:09 PM
3

It's simple when you think about it. She hasn't done the work to be any different, or the introspection to know she's nothing more than a kid with a shiny new toy right now, and that excitement will wear off. Co-worker is getting exactly what you did when you were at four months along. No better version of your ex exists.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 03:00 PM
3

I guess my post was more about wondering if she is trying too hard to look happy. Not an important question. What she does beyond parenting is irrelevant to you. Her feelings and motivations aren't your responsibility, nor should they be your concern. If you must consider it, then remind yourself she is who she is and the new guy isn't being treated any differently, having a better experience, or getting anything you didn't.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 04:40 PM
2

Without going too deep I understand your government's interest in the people is... Questionable. Hang in there.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 05:30 PM
1

Ah. Yeah. In the US they factor in things like health care and day care, which many EU countries receive with their VAT. VAT is also progressive; your tax is based on what you spend. Poorer people obviously pay less in taxes than someone who can afford it. I support a system like that for the US, maybe not 27% (you're on the high end for the EU!!). But yeah, we're spending on the same things just in different places.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 05:16 PM
1

Sounds like a share of the retirement pay. I'm stuck with the same.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 05:04 PM
1

If they get a piece of the military retirement pension that's not alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 02:53 PM
1

What country are you in?
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 02:51 PM
2

Agree with this. You know she's not going to behave like an adult.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/25 05:54 PM
1

I am glad to hear it all went well, friend.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 03:40 AM
5

This rant makes no sense. You asked for a divorce in March and your divorce is final that same month? You in New Hampshire? This divorce was the thing you asked for, and now you're lamenting you're not going to get your family back? Buddy, did you want it in the first place? You discarded it! Stay off your ex's devices. Her life outside of your kids is none of your business now. As yours is no longer hers. What she does outside of parenting is nothing you should be concerned about. Honestly she …
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/25 06:08 PM
4

What about online? DivorceCare has online groups, I don't think you have to be geographically close. Discord? Funny thing, the other stuff you mentioned: hitting the gym, going to therapy... both my trainer and my therapist are online-only. I don't know why it didn't occur to me to look for support groups online as well.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 08:12 PM
6

Look around your area for Divorce support groups. They can connect you with peers going through the same things, and may be able to refer you to more specialized resources.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 07:58 PM
5

My thought was you've now stated twice that an outburst the likely reaction to not acknowledging your ex. I was just at my daughter's 8th grade graduation and if I thought this is how my ex would react to being unacknowledged, in order to protect my daughter's feelings and memories of that day I would remain minimally cordial. Someone else here said indifference is acceptable. One word answers. Gray rock techniques. I don't know your ex but if that would keep her chill while your daughter enjoys…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 07:52 PM
11

I’ve spoken to everyone in advance, and if she comes near any of us, we are simply going to say nothing and turn away – she’s fairly obnoxious and persistent and may cause a scene but at this point, I don’t give a shit. I’ve tried to placate her in public long enough by being cordial. Wish me luck and give me strength, brothers. I recommend you rethink doing anything that might provoke a scene in public, at a school, in front of your daughter. This is her day, make it about her out of love.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 06:44 PM
19

The answer is it doesn't matter. You can't control it, change it, prove it, or undo it. It's time to worry about taking care of yourself, your kids, and moving on with your life.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 05:16 AM
10

Yesterday was a year to the day she told me she wanted a divorce. In that moment I had no idea what my life would look like right now. I just knew it was horrible, and I couldn't see past being absolutely gutted. I understand where you're at. In the past year I've lost 60lbs. I picked back up hobbies I had stopped doing. I grew my social circles and got out more. Therapy helps. Owning my part, the parts I was in control of... So important. Keep at the self-care. It's a process, stay with it. I'm…
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 05:04 PM
12

I’m kind of looking at my friends who have to spend money, go out of their homes, deal with people, get everything just right or hear about it later (they will hear about it later regardless), and probably not have their own emotional needs met, and I think I might have the better end of this deal.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 03:44 AM
3

If he says he never said that, then I’d really be careful about your ex, she be plotting Whether or not he said anything to his mom should never be the question. Just ask if he's happy, and if not, what would it take to make things better? You'll know if mom's full of shit based on that conversation. Don't call her out tho, just state, "You'd be happy the boy and I talked over making visits better, happier, and more fun, and we made a plan to do just that. I'll keep you posted on how they go!" a…
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 01:42 AM
2

I thought the max in Texas was about $1800? EDIT: for one child. OP might have more.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 05:11 AM
12

There is a school of thought that says you should go no contact. However, the point is largely to create space to heal yourself, not to get her back. I think you should explore doing this to really reflect on yourself and the situation. I also thought I wanted my ex back, so I went no contact as much as I could (we're co-parenting). Turns out, after some thought and distance, I think this situation is for the best, and I'm a better, happier person post-divorce. These ads promising info to "get h…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 03:33 AM
2

Oh don't get me wrong, OP should lawyer the fuck up yesterday. I'm just recommending he not focus on why when ultimately that's unimportant in many states, and will just cause grief. Best he stay focused on the legal process and protecting/healing himself first.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 09:40 PM
2

if a person cheats on you consistently ...then the marital vows are broken. Kind of a different situation there.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 05:54 PM
3

I wouldn't default to cheating. Women go through a lot of changes later in life. Chemo already did a job on her, now add hormonal shifts and she could be an entirely different person. Her plan to move on may not include another fella. Regardless, it doesn't truly matter in a no fault state with 50/50 split on the marital assets and nothing but adult children. He may have some alimony to pay, but that's kind of it in terms of what she can go after. He just needs a lawyer to look out for him, and …
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 05:53 PM
3

It may be a trade-off if he has no liquidity to buy out her half of the 6 bedroom home. He could potentially sell it after their youngest leaves and be OK.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 05:48 PM
3

I just went through an uncontested Texas divorce and this sure does seem contested to me.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 05:16 AM
1

3 month old child? Have you considered post-partum depression might be in the mix here? That with exhaustion for being the child's only source of food is a huge lift for her that deserves a metric shit ton of grace from you. You're new parents navigating a major life change and trying to balance a new normal. You cannot hold your wife to the same standards you did before the baby came, so I hope that's not what you're doing here. Someone else said give her a year, I *highly* recommend doing this…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 02:05 AM
4

Such a confusingg time...even if I dont really have a choice in this. And there you go. You don't have a choice if she wants out. All you can control is you and your reactions. If neither of you are willing to address in therapy your avoidant attachment style, a style which will put your wife off if she's at all anxious, then you should start planning to decouple. That means consulting a lawyer and making a plan.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 11:42 PM
4

Is there even an answer that would be satisfying enough to provide "closure," whatever that is? Is there a "why" that will make enough sense to provide peace? Or should you just skip it and make your own peace? I think you know what you need to do.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 10:57 PM
1

Good for you man. The kids are worth it, trust me. Just look out for you and get it in the decree that once there's a move the kids are geographically bound to a spot so she can't move the kid away from you again without court approval. I would hate for you to go through this and move to a new place only to have her move them away again later.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 02:31 PM
2

I have to ask... why do you not have language in your decree keeping your kid near you? If packing up your life to follow her around is your thing, then I recommend staying within a day's drive of your kids for regular visitation, school events, sports stuff, etc. If you can afford the airfare for the limited visits you'll have by moving further away, then you do you. I can tell you I've done both. Stressing over tickets 2x a year was awful and there was never enough time in the visits. I moved …
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 09:48 PM
12

On most dating apps you can block people by phone number, email, etc. so you never see them ever, and they never see you. I highly recommend, for your sanity, you use that feature next time. I blocked my ex immediately. It's not the pictures, she was already sending those to half the Internet. I don't want to see her lies in the profile.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 09:23 PM
3

With a baby that young I doubt she has another guy in the wings - how would she have time? My first thought was post-partum depression which is a very real thing. The problem is how to explore that with an unwilling partner, one who could very well be offended at the suggestion. OP also mentioned being ashamed and embarrassed by how they arrived here, and her being, "stuck in the past," so I also suspect he isn't telling us everything and he has something to answer for.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 03:45 PM
4

I mean, you take a pay cut, but what's the cost of living in VA vs. the Bay? I used to live in VA, I was extremely comfortable on $150k at the time which wasn't that long ago. I don't think I could say the same if I lived where you do. At the end of the day, money doesn't buy time, or happiness, or reconciliation in your marriage. You can plan to build your standard of living, but you can't plan to make your significant other happy. Consider the value of your time and happiness when making your …
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/24 05:08 AM
1

I'm assuming he continued the ruse through discovery, in which case, she'd better never ever find out.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 04:14 PM
2

but for the first time in my life I can't get over the feeling of complete failure Relax. There are two people in a marriage, and you can only control yourself. I'm assuming you weren't a lying, abusing, cheating asshole, and if that's the case, then you need to be fair to yourself and give her credit for her part in all this. You can't make anyone do anything, so saying you failed makes zero sense.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 01:53 PM
2

Yea I’m going to go to a hypnotherapist and program myself to not think about her anymore. I'm not saying not to think about her. You will. I'm saying when you're having your pity party and thinking "oh woe I miss the good times," you need to be fair to yourself and also remember she's flawed. She did not have your best interests in mind. She did not consider your feelings. She is not your angel, she's a human woman who dumped you for whatever unsaid reason. And so on.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 04:00 AM
9

It's pretty raw, so I get you feel this way right now. See a therapist. Talk this through. Look at it all objectively. Not knowing the situation or her side of the story, would your own personal angel leave you? If you met someone else and they were attractive and present for you and showed up to the relationship in the way you needed them to, would that not be better than what your ex gave you? As you say, you're only 27. There is still a lot of road in front of you. You already point out how m…
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 06:28 PM
9

I don't know why she left, but would you really objectively look at the relationship and think she's your best friend after some careful thought?
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 08:01 PM
6

Then believe her.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 07:16 PM
13

She doesn't want you, but she doesn't want anyone else to have you either. Let it go.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 10:44 PM
1

You don’t have a home router that will strip SSL. You’ll see the initial DNS request but you won’t see what she was doing there. You might want more than an initial URL before you start accusing people of shit, you’ll just come off paranoid.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/24 11:41 PM
6

Wait, you keep that shit in the default album? Oh noooo. There are many solutions for this. Hidden on iphone. Personal Vault on OneDrive. Knox on Samsung Android. Pick your poison, but don't keep nudes in the default album!
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/24 11:03 PM
1

If contested divorce at court, will the judge agree with her that I shall pay alimony to her? If so, how much and how long is expected? If I lost my job after divorce, do I have to pay her same amount ? I think without knowing basic facts like OP's state of residence, his income, his spouse's income, etc... I answered the questions he presented as succinctly and accurately as possible. Do you have different answers, or just unhelpful critiques?
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/24 02:38 AM
0

As the saying goes, it's cheaper to keep her. If you're ordered by the court to pay alimony, you pay what they tell you to pay when they tell you to pay it. You would need to sue to have it changed if circumstances change. I don't know what your state laws are, but you should consult an attorney. Chances are if she did not have a real job or reportable income, yes, you would have to pay some kind of alimony along with giving her half of everything. Luckily many states have gotten rid of permanen…
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/24 03:04 AM
3

I know you said you don't mind the CS - I am of the opinion you should mind - do you even know a ballpark figure of how much it will work out to be? I would certainly talk to a lawyer about this. In my state it's based on my income. If the business is making a profit of $500k, that's awesome, but is it incorporated? An LLC? If so, they're making the profit, what are you paying yourself? I might be talking out of my ass, but it seems to me there's "business" money and there's "your" money and the…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/24 03:09 AM
7

You say you don't see therapy changing anything. Why not try with an open mind and an open heart, if she's willing? It sounds as though you've completely taken it off the table even though it might help.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 08:52 PM
1

How old are your kids?
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 02:31 AM
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