crashohno Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
6	Taking The Kids on Her Time Its all a matter of perspective - I pay full child support but have 50% custody (she was SAHM) I'm paying full whether I get the kids 50, or 0% - which sucks. But getting them for 2 extra weeks? Dude, sign me up. I love my kids, I want them all the time. Screw her thank yous or appreciation. You're not married to her anymore. And you got more time with your kids! You're a lucky man, don't let her ingratitude ruin a good thing.	/r/Divorce_Men	15/06/26 11:39 PM
2	How much responsibility do you bear for your divorce? I am 50% to blame. And also the marriage wasn't salvageable IMHO. I made some big mistakes after everything I had tried didn't work. Divorce was off the table from day 1, and when your partner doesn't seem capable of caring about your needs/wants/wishes/hopes/dreams/feelings, etc... what can you do? When I came back to myself, I tried new ways. I changed things up. I tried harder than anything I've ever done before. When you teach someone to treat you a certain way, and it benefits them and not …	/r/Divorce_Men	30/04/26 08:03 PM
12	How to you get over her? You write a new story. You're living in an old one. Face that truth and magic can happen. "She was the love of my life" okay - that life is over. What about your new life? She can't be the love of that, she's opted out. "She was the love of my life" - well apparently she disagreed. Who are you going to believe, the sputtering mess in the mirror or the woman you thought you knew who isn't there anymore? "She was the love of my life!" - and life has happened. You can stay were you are in pain, or …	/r/Divorce_Men	23/04/26 01:04 PM
18	How do you forget her? Sit in the truth. You feel loyal to someone who doesn't feel loyal to you. What does that make you? You desire someone that doesn't desire you. What does that make you? You remember someone who isn't remembering you. What does that make you? How does that make you feel? Sit with it. Don't pine, don't avoid. Sit with it. Let it be awful. Let the truth set you free.	/r/Divorce_Men	01/04/26 10:38 PM
4	Ex wife texting another guy A lot of times we feel jealous because other people are getting what we "should get" New dude won't be getting the version of your wife you wanted. Because she doesn't exist. Steer right into the hardest truths and a lot of our longing gets disrupted.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/02/26 04:58 AM
9	Women Typically Don't Leave for a Worse Situation..... Exceptions to the Rule? If she left it is because she believes she CAN do better. That male attention is causing inflation of her ego and she’s in that shaky place between new found confidence and still craving external validation. Its a house of cards and I’m so sorry man. What you need to confront is that the dishonesty has always been there. Many women have a talent of making you think/feel/believe certain things so that they have safety. It’s about what you provide, not who you are. All women are not like that but …	/r/Divorce_Men	24/01/26 01:18 AM
8	Women Typically Don't Leave for a Worse Situation..... Exceptions to the Rule? Just to contexualize something for you: Repeatedly bringing up messed up stuff in the afterglow of sex hoping to “catch you in a good mood” is beyond manipulative. It’s abusive. You didn’t deserve that. Sorry bro.	/r/Divorce_Men	24/01/26 01:15 AM
2	Something I keep noticing about men in the middle of divorce Yeah, this resonates deeply. I also just took a minute to sit with the pain - I’ve stopped trying to solve any of it and let it runs its course. But really sitting with it felt like amazing relief.	/r/Divorce_Men	09/01/26 02:41 AM
1	How do you find the courage I had some of the same concerns. Our couples therapist told me "Crashohno, she's a grown woman. She has a college degree. She is capable of providing for herself. She can get a job. You'll be paying her a small fortune in child support and alimony. She's responsible for her. She doesn't get to be a strong independent woman in all your arguments and then be a child when consequences come. Don't infantilize her. Giver her the respect an adult deserves." It's hard switching out of the provider mode…	/r/Divorce_Men	08/01/26 07:36 PM
1	As a divorced man, what are the red flags before the marriage? You've nailed it. All the privilege and none of the responsibility. It's out of control.	/r/Divorce_Men	16/12/25 06:03 PM
3	As a divorced man, what are the red flags before the marriage? Feminists are out for me. Always a competition instead of a union.	/r/Divorce_Men	16/12/25 05:24 PM
5	As a divorced man, what are the red flags before the marriage? Patterns>Behavior>Words Don't listen to the words, watch for the repeated patterns. That's what you're marrying. Also, watch shifts and settling after transition. Casually dating to exclusive, what changes? Exclusive plus time, what changes? Exclusive to engaged, what changes? This is where you have to reevaluate very purposefully so that you don't just get the heat slowly turned up and you end up marrying someone different than you thought you were dating. Watch for control behaviors and patter…	/r/Divorce_Men	16/12/25 05:16 PM
5	No one cares about men Men care about men, if we decide to. Open up your circle, connect with other dudes. You're not alone.	/r/Divorce_Men	01/11/25 04:24 AM
7	Divorced Men, My wife cheat, we divorced, She’s happy, I’m sad. What is your advice? Reality. Marinate in it. You are sad because you have feelings for someone who cheated on you, divorced you, and had already moved on. If this was a race to the finish, she cheated again by starting early. Think about how you're hung up on someone who would treat you that way. Really look at her behavior, not the feelings you've had for her. She threw away what you had. She thought that little of it. The greatest peace comes from looking at the truth. It can feel like looking at the Sun, but it …	/r/Divorce_Men	31/10/25 08:00 PM
7	Honest questions regarding all your ex wives Same with mine. And what's wild is she also see's vulnerability as a danger. I'd be vulnerable, and she'd take it as an attack and lash out - in her head, defending herself. Rough way to live for almost 20 years.	/r/Divorce_Men	25/10/25 03:03 AM
2	No support left I talked to people for years. They were patient and polite, but I definitely burnt some people out on listening to me. The cure for me? Action. Initiating the divorce brought my need to talk about the marriage down to pretty much zero. It doesn’t matter what happened or what she did or didn’t do. It only matters what I’m doing.	/r/Divorce_Men	11/10/25 11:03 PM
12	I served my wife divorce papers while she was blowing her date in a car "Tinder boy" hahahahahah man I don't know why but that hurts lolololol	/r/Divorce_Men	08/10/25 09:14 PM
2	Giving her back my wedding ring People that are going to lie about you like that in public love the drama. Give her none, brother. There is no "showing her." That's ego. Make her opinion not matter. Maker her behavior not matter. Go live your life and leave the toxicity in your past.	/r/Divorce_Men	08/10/25 06:49 PM
1	(47). Not yet divorced. If she’s not meeting your needs after you’ve brought it up many times, she doesn’t want to. If she doesn’t want to, she doesn’t respect you. She believes you’ll stay forever regardless. And so she’s fine to ignore your suffering because she has what she needs. Brother, it’s not as good as you think it is. She’s counting on your silence, and if not, her ability to shut you up about it through shame. That’s not a partner, that’s not a lover. “It’s just the intimacy.” Yeah, dude, that’s what makes …	/r/Divorce_Men	05/10/25 09:16 PM
7	(47). Not yet divorced. Good men don’t want to hurt their wives. Good men are patient. Good men tank hurt, rejection, and distance so they can build life for their wife and kids. Good men tolerate. And do you know the worst part? Many of these things don’t inspire passion in a relationship. It’s the bitch if it. Good men also have a breaking point. And no one has much pity for good men when they break. Here’s what helped me: the truth. Many women are controlling, overtly or covertly. If your wife shames you for biologi…	/r/Divorce_Men	05/10/25 02:51 PM
4	Letting go of past friend groups Our "couple friends" are all hers now. Our church congregation... I was asked to go to a different one because she is uncomfortable with me there. I luckily had a good group of guys I've become friends with over the years independent of my wife, and so that's been good. But the loneliness, the realization that so much of my life was surface level is a shock. No doubt what you're going through as well. It's depressing, which is the exact opposite of what is needed to rebuild a life. I'm flying ou…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/10/25 02:46 PM
1	Question about communication. Ex wife continually call my kids when they are at my house for the week Grown toddlers. So immature.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/09/25 01:46 AM
3	Question about communication. Ex wife continually call my kids when they are at my house for the week Ooof, this one is hard. Ultimately, your feelings need to not matter. (Which is usually an awful continuation of your relationship with your ex lol) It's 100% about the kids. Make that your North Star. What is best for your kids? Connection with their mother, unless there is a court order and underlying issues, is the right call. Don't make them choose. And it seems like you're still playing from a losing playbook - "I have a way of looking at the world, and she doesn't match that, and now I'm f…	/r/Divorce_Men	19/09/25 02:31 PM
2	Question about communication. Ex wife continually call my kids when they are at my house for the week That's so toxic of her man, I'm glad you're no longer with someone like that.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/09/25 02:28 PM
9	Ex-wife glow up… Here's the perspective: Look at reality. Look at things as starkly true as you possibly can. You are still looking at possibility with someone with whom there is no possibility. You are looking for connection with someone with whom there is no connection. Her glow up is because she is more than likely more happy now than she was then. If she had a boyfriend ready to move in, you got monkey branched. She was cheating on you. Look at her for who and what she is - someone who cheated on you, who is…	/r/Divorce_Men	17/09/25 02:52 PM
7	Looking for Advice after unfair divorce People got to college and spend much more money than you lost out on to learn even less than you can out of this situation. You've just paid tuition to the school of hard knocks, and paid rent instead of built equity - What have you learned? I hope you've learned that not everyone sees you as an equal. I hope you've learned not to settle for less than you deserve both in terms of a relationship and in terms of money deals. I hope you've learned that winning has nothing to do with deserving. It h…	/r/Divorce_Men	19/08/25 08:10 PM
0	What’s even the point of Marriage? Or am I just bitter? Disagreeing with me is fine. How it’s done matters- He said I was gaslighting people, which implies intent to deceive. Dismissive from the jump, “Like most arguments in favor of marriage”He went into debate mode calling out logical fallacies (incorrectly) and giving me directives to define things in a narrow way. No curiosity, just attempts to diminish what I had to say and prove me wrong. Honest disagreement is normal. The way this guy did it follows a pattern of people who are not interested i…	/r/Divorce_Men	05/07/25 08:15 PM
-1	What’s even the point of Marriage? Or am I just bitter? No, not willing. You are convinced of your opinion, and aren’t curious. I don’t like the experience of knowing you. You’ve been needlessly aggressive from the get go. Enjoy the feeling of being right - so right that everyone else is wrong. But just enjoy it elsewhere.	/r/Divorce_Men	05/07/25 07:38 PM
1	What’s even the point of Marriage? Or am I just bitter? No. Hope this helps.	/r/Divorce_Men	05/07/25 07:19 PM
1	What’s even the point of Marriage? Or am I just bitter? I haven’t committed a logical fallacy, we’re working off two different definitions for marriage. The conjugal view and the relational view. The former is the historically dominant version of marriage. The latter is newer and focused on different priorities. They overlap but are pretty different. It’s better for society if we follow the conjugal view, but following the conjugal with someone following the relational one won’t work. Conjugal is more selfless, relational more selfish - but that isn’…	/r/Divorce_Men	05/07/25 06:32 PM
9	What’s even the point of Marriage? Or am I just bitter? Marriage is the ideal environment to raise kids, all the data supports this. We’ve overloaded marriage in terms of what it’s supposed to provide for us. And we’ve made it a legal transaction that is ultimately unfair for men. Add in feminism and destruction of the female gender role but expecting the same output of men without any authority, and… et voila.	/r/Divorce_Men	05/07/25 01:14 AM
1	Custody Have you filed for divorce yet? You need to file first. You need to talk to a lawyer. Filing first gives you the ability to tell your story first. With that, you can file that your wife has left the marital home and has taken the children. And it's in the best interest of the children to be back in the marital home. If she's gone across state lines, she can be compelled to come back. I am not a lawyer, and a lawyer can help you with all of this. But you have to act quickly. The longer you let th…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/07/25 12:50 PM
6	Custody Dad - fight for those kids. “She’s a control freak” Don’t leave those kids with an unaccountable nightmare more than you have to. Don’t let her control anymore. Her opinion about your worth as a father is irrelevant. You hare their dad. You get 50/50. She can’t up and move an hour away - file an injunction. Fight. You have rights, it doesn’t matter that she doesn’t care about them. Stop caring what she thinks. She doesn’t think much of you, don’t give that respect. I believe in you man.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/07/25 03:21 AM
8	The best use of AI I’ve found so far Going through divorce right now. She wants to stay in the house for a year. I sent her an offer that I felt was fair, popped it through “fresh” chatGPT (not logged into my account, no history) to ask about fairness etc. it said up and down this was more than fair and listed why. Gave me a couple pointers on language, etc. She sent a response that was “hardball”… when she doesn’t have any leverage and she’s asking me to postpone selling the house for a year. I popped that into a new fresh ChatGPT…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/07/25 03:16 AM
8	Have you had any luck meeting big booty latinas in your post-divorce life? What helped you succeed? Congrats on your income! lol	/r/Divorce_Men	01/07/25 05:06 AM
9	How do I get the courage to leave her I’m going to convince you to stay: Stay because you’re finally willing to admit your feelings don’t matter and she SHOULD be in charge of everything. Stay because she is so superior to you that you’re lucky she has anything to do with you at all. Stay because somehow she’s the god of your universe but also somehow simultaneously a victim that will be helpless without you. Stay because you love being gaslit and manipulated. Stay because you hate the truth, and staying means never looking at it. S…	/r/Divorce_Men	22/06/25 08:36 PM