~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| 2 | In reality girls know and accept guys are gonna hit on themI don't want to get invested in a girl before I know she's attracted to me. That is probably a good way too. But it is just that I find most women are not being compatible, even when they are attractive. Yes I am tall. tall + skinny + asymmetrical face (left/right eyes, eyebrows, ears are not exactly at the same level, mouth is not opening symmetrically... it isn't very obvious, but one photographer made me once realize it and no it is clear for me). The feedback I got, is that being skinny + dr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/23 09:37 PM |
| 1 | Where do you people find „ugly” guys?im just saying that we have a tendency to look at female attraction through a male lens, that's all. Yes that is true. But I honestly think that there is no unique female way to attraction. I was thinking women were having a more psychological sexuality, less direct, with more control on their desire, needing more tenderness. In the end I was surprised by many women wanted sex in a way which is fully similar to men when they are horny enough. And it is very similar with attraction. Personality i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/23 08:57 PM |
| 1 | In reality girls know and accept guys are gonna hit on themThanks, now I actually only ask women out when I am really interested in them, which imply to have already spoken to them a bit. So the rejection are even harder than from a complete stranger, because there usually is a connection and common points. So even 2% success rate is low in this case, because I don't find a woman interesting enough every single week. Asking random women out was just too demoralizing. Gym was useless on me, I was skinny, I went to the gym, I am still skinny. For the rest… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/23 06:57 PM |
| – | The idea that these countless men who are struggling to get their equivalent are somehow ALL overrating their own appearance is just disingenuous. There are some men who do, sure but as a whole the disproportionate number of attractive men who have voiced this same complaint cannot be ignored.Of course not. But in real life is having its own challenges. After 30, most women are not single anymore, and it is not written on their faces. So you don't know if the women you approach are available or interested (and don't speak about signs, every time I saw some or my friends saw some, the women were just interested in something friendly, even when she laugh at all your jokes, put a hand on your arm, flirt... it was just friendly). Plus you have no clue except first impression, you don't k… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/23 06:45 PM |
| 1 | In reality girls know and accept guys are gonna hit on themYou know, in my whole life, I had sex with 2 women I met in real life, so I don't know what my ratio is, but it is probably lower than 0.1%. I think your advice is good for good looking guys... for the others, it isn't necessarily bad in itself, but for me, getting 100s or 1000s of rejection without a yes in between is the best way to feel absolutely unlovable and disgusting. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/23 01:55 PM |
| – | The assumption that some men make about women having it easier in dating is usually made by inexperienced men who have not gotten a glimpse into women's lives.To be honest, as a 34 years old man, with male and female friends, no one is debating than most women have it far easier in dating than most men. That is plain obvious to see. But it is true it depends on what people are looking for. It doesn't mean that finding the love of your life is easy, even for women. It doesn't mean that going through hundreds of wannabe suitors is easy... But as a female friend said. "If I want sex, I have sex, sometimes in the hour, and I can choose with whom. If I wan… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/23 01:42 PM |
| – | The assumption that some men make about women having it easier in dating is usually made by inexperienced men who have not gotten a glimpse into women's lives.I did! And more than 50% of the male profiles looked decent (I don't mean attractive, I can't judge that, but they had at least okish pictures, no obvious red flag, o caricatural bios) In end there wasn't that much difference for both, quite some female profiles are as well pretty awful or incomplete. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/23 01:28 PM |
| 1 | In what ways could both sexes come to a better understanding?Having more empathy, getting to really know people, their experience, try to get in their shoes... being open minded and less judgemental to allow people to speak about their issues without fear of mockery or judgment. And it doesn't solely work between sexes. My best friend is a good looking man who never struggled with women. At 35, after speaking about dating and relationships in details with me and other men, he tried to gave us advices before realizing that his reality was just different fr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/23 01:22 PM |
| 1 | In what ways could both sexes come to a better understanding?Not all men and not all women in real-life. I have been used by a few women in real life. And I have a couple of female friends who met misogynistic men in real life, or others just wanting to fuck them without even knowing their names | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/23 01:13 PM |
| – | The idea that these countless men who are struggling to get their equivalent are somehow ALL overrating their own appearance is just disingenuous. There are some men who do, sure but as a whole the disproportionate number of attractive men who have voiced this same complaint cannot be ignored.I don't have an access to your article but it seems interesting. If you want, you can send it to me per message. For the rest. I may get that unsolicited attention can be really bothering. But I don't speak solely of unsolicited physical (even if I think that unsolicited attention sometimes may bring a genuine smile to the person receiving it). I speak of every comment on desirability or being attractive (look if you think look is relevant to what you find attractive about men), inclusive by dat… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/23 01:05 PM |
| – | The idea that these countless men who are struggling to get their equivalent are somehow ALL overrating their own appearance is just disingenuous. There are some men who do, sure but as a whole the disproportionate number of attractive men who have voiced this same complaint cannot be ignored.Women are outperforming men in all the important metrics. Which are? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/23 12:41 PM |
| – | The idea that these countless men who are struggling to get their equivalent are somehow ALL overrating their own appearance is just disingenuous. There are some men who do, sure but as a whole the disproportionate number of attractive men who have voiced this same complaint cannot be ignored.Cool, then I was in league zero 11 months last year, and during most of my life actually, and in between in every league between 3 and 8? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/23 11:24 AM |
| – | The idea that these countless men who are struggling to get their equivalent are somehow ALL overrating their own appearance is just disingenuous. There are some men who do, sure but as a whole the disproportionate number of attractive men who have voiced this same complaint cannot be ignored.So I have a great personality, friends, I am fun (maybe not for everyone), intelligent, I have a stable job, good financial situation, a house and a big garden... I have some activities, play music, draw, do some sports, I am more or less fit, I am healthy, I traveled quite a bit... I cook well, my house is clean and I am fully ok with splitting chores 50-50 I am open minded, respectful, kind, my female friends repeat that I would be a great husband and father... None of my ex complained about o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/23 11:21 AM |
| – | The idea that these countless men who are struggling to get their equivalent are somehow ALL overrating their own appearance is just disingenuous. There are some men who do, sure but as a whole the disproportionate number of attractive men who have voiced this same complaint cannot be ignored.I think men have overinflated egos. Not just men. Many people have. Males are constantly seeking validation for their masculinity. Not all men. I am a guy, I was not at all into masculinity. But I was absolutely not successful with women without understanding why. As for validation. Do you know how many times men are validated? Never or almost never. Ask men how frequently they felt desired, wanted. That is a rare thing for most of them. Even men in relationships frequently don't feel desired. F… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/23 11:13 AM |
| – | The idea that these countless men who are struggling to get their equivalent are somehow ALL overrating their own appearance is just disingenuous. There are some men who do, sure but as a whole the disproportionate number of attractive men who have voiced this same complaint cannot be ignored.Why would they be to blame? My bestfriend is good looking and sometimes see 4 women in parallel. All of these women know about it, they complain about it, but they don't leave him. In the end all of those person know what the situation is and choose to be involved in it. It is of course a different matter of the men are dishonest | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/23 11:02 AM |
| – | The idea that these countless men who are struggling to get their equivalent are somehow ALL overrating their own appearance is just disingenuous. There are some men who do, sure but as a whole the disproportionate number of attractive men who have voiced this same complaint cannot be ignored.Because I would feel bad with myself. I have been educated to become someone empathetic, king, altruistic, respectful... I for example could not see myself cheating. I would simply hate myself. I already stopped dating women because they had feelings for me but I had no feelings for them, and I did not want to hurt them. I never threatened, assaulted or hit anyone, inclusive my partners (with one exception, I was violent the day when I was 17 and 3 20 years old assaulted me without reason) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/23 10:59 AM |
| – | The idea that these countless men who are struggling to get their equivalent are somehow ALL overrating their own appearance is just disingenuous. There are some men who do, sure but as a whole the disproportionate number of attractive men who have voiced this same complaint cannot be ignored.Well, not only. I have friends (including many women), I was at a party Friday, invited at a friend's birthday yesterday, at a weekend long music festival the previous weekend, I will spend my holidays with another group of friends, a couple of friends will come to visit me afterwards... And yet, I am 34, single since 3 years (in total, I have been single and celibate 29 years of my life, at least 10 unvolontarily). My best female friend told me once that I would be a great husband and a perfect… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/23 10:27 AM |
| – | The idea that these countless men who are struggling to get their equivalent are somehow ALL overrating their own appearance is just disingenuous. There are some men who do, sure but as a whole the disproportionate number of attractive men who have voiced this same complaint cannot be ignored.I don't like those kind of comments because it really makes it look easy. I am a functional adult, I was probably a very functional adult at 22 already and I am 34. I am ready to do more than 50% of the chores, my house is clean, U have a stable life and a comfortable financial situation, my female friends are telling me I would be a great husband and an amazing father... Yet that is not what seems to attract women. By investing hours per week solely to look for women, I manage to get 10 first d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/23 10:20 AM |
| 1 | Where do you people find „ugly” guys?No serious human think interactions don't go beyond sex. I dated many women who were looking for a serious relationship, who really liked me and enjoyed spending time with me... but who never felt attracted physically to me. And, I rarely find a woman who is physically attracted to me. But I don't think I am ugly. Just unattractive | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/23 09:59 AM |
| 1 | Where do you people find „ugly” guys?True, the guy you replied to probably is deluded. Yet I get why he feels this way. I am 34, I am not ugly, yet I would say that 99% of the women find me unattractive. Even most of the women I dated were not physically into me. Then I can count on one hand the amount of women who ever complimented me on my looks. And I never had a woman telling me I am hot or sexy. There are maybe more women finding me attractive, but they are not showing it or vocal about it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/23 09:49 AM |
| 1 | Where do you people find „ugly” guys?Happily, people in relationships have sex. Yet, it doesn't mean how long they stayed single and what their dating life looked like. As a man looking for a relationship and not at all into the hook-up culture, I can tell you that you can want a relationship or sex and still go years without none of them. 2 of my 3 single male friends are in a similar situation. For us, just getting a first date is already rare abd an achievement (even if most lead nowhere) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/23 09:42 AM |
| 2 | Where do you people find „ugly” guys?That is refreshing to read. Because it seems quite rare among women. I see women swiping in the bus or in the train, most swipe left in 1 second based on the first picture alone. And I see my best friend. A great guy and good looking. He has a dating app profile: 3 selfies, no bio, no info on who he is, what he likes, what he is looking for... and he receives between 100 and 3000 likes per day. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/23 09:36 AM |
| 1 | Where do you people find „ugly” guys?That is not completely false but partly. As a man, I think I have a good personality and enough ambition. I have many friends, I reached a very confortable and stable situation. yet it didn't change much to my dating life. I can get lucky once or twice every few years, with a woman, always a stranger, finding me attractive enough to be ok getting physical. I used dating app, social circles to try to meet someone for a serious relationship. I put my profile on reddit and many women told me it was… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/23 09:32 AM |
| 1 | Where do you people find „ugly” guys?Many guys think they are ugly but they are not. They just never receive positive feedbacks telling them that they are good looking, beautiful, hot... I am a good example: I thought I was ugly because I have huge troubles to attract women and girls called me ugly during years when I was a teenager. I can make easily female friends but none never was interested in more. I met few girlfriends through apps, but most of them never complimented my look, none ever said she found me hot or sexy... In to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/23 09:16 AM |
| 3 | Most beauty standards are enforced on women by other womenIt goes in both directions: There is enough scientific research showing the halo effect. Good looking people have many advantages socially. People are, on average, nicer to them, want to have good relationship with them, want to have them around... And since these people have an overall nicer and easier life experience, they feel better, more confident, have better social skills... a study was done showing that, after a phone call, strangers were giving better reviews to people who are good look… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/23 08:53 AM |
| 3 | CMV : You could make the most academically in depth and heartfelt argument in the world about mens lack of sex and relationships, but it doesn’t override needing a WILLING woman to give that to themBut the idea that ANY amount of men could be sexually excluded and that it would not matter so long as it was a result of free female choice is dangerously naive. Exactly! Those excluded men might take big risks or fight the laws or society in order to access a status which would make them more attractive. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/23 07:21 AM |
| 1 | Most women can’t admit that they care about looks just/nearly as much as men because they see themselves as the sophisticated and non-primitive gender as opposed to men.Most men wouldn't fuck a corpse but you still used it as an argument. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/23 10:50 PM |
| 1 | I'm incredibly skeptical that personality or other characteristics can "override" lack of physical attraction - please change my mind.A guy was condemned for rape in France to have slept with some women who thought they had sex with someone else. The guy pretended to be rich and used a model pictures on Tinder. He said he had a kink, he wanted to fuck women who had a mask on their eyes to be blinded. The guy had sex with at least 20 women who were ready to go in his room without ever meeting him before, to get nacked and to put a blind mask on their face waiting to get fucked by the man. I mean, if they thought they win the lo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/23 10:48 PM |
| 1 | Most women can’t admit that they care about looks just/nearly as much as men because they see themselves as the sophisticated and non-primitive gender as opposed to men.I agree that some men will fuck everything. But not all men... and some women have the same issues (even if I admit there are certainly less of them) Some women would throw everything away (relationship, kid) to fuck a very hot man too. My best friend is good looking, several of his colleagues told him they wanted to sleep with him knowing they were risking to get caught, to loose their husband and potentially the kids too. And a few women can't control their urge too. I know two of them. One co… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/23 10:36 PM |
| 1 | Most women can’t admit that they care about looks just/nearly as much as men because they see themselves as the sophisticated and non-primitive gender as opposed to men.It just means that men are physically attracted to them but that the women are not compatible for a relationship, or the men looking for one. Why do you need to be very attracted to sleep with someone or start a relationship with them? If that was the case, ugly people would never have sex or relationship. My 2 ex girlfriends were attracted to me, but I know fairly well that they found other men way more physically attractive and hot. And I think the same about most of my partners: they need to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/23 04:10 PM |
| 1 | Most women can’t admit that they care about looks just/nearly as much as men because they see themselves as the sophisticated and non-primitive gender as opposed to men.Yes I get that. I am one of those guys who have no issues to get friends, including with women. But none of my female friends ever was attracted to me. 2 even accepted to date me, both for 2 months, because they really liked me and loved to spend time with me. But they never felt any physical or sexual attraction to me so it didn't work. In those 2 times 2 months dating a friend, nothing physical at all happened with one, and I never even made out with the other, but we had 2-3 small passionless… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/23 02:39 PM |
| 1 | Most women can’t admit that they care about looks just/nearly as much as men because they see themselves as the sophisticated and non-primitive gender as opposed to men.Hahaha I tried dating app... it doesn't work well despite my profile being a good one according to reddit. Good quality pictures, good and funny bio... But a good profile is not meaning the guy on it is attractive. I am mid 30s. I have had a hard time seducing women all my life even if it rarely works. First kiss, sex and girlfriend at 26 after years of looking for someone. But if since that day it is a little bit better, I 99% of the time am the great guy women like to spend time with but are n… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/23 02:27 PM |
| 1 | Most women can’t admit that they care about looks just/nearly as much as men because they see themselves as the sophisticated and non-primitive gender as opposed to men.I fully agree with what you say, for many women personality matters, even if I would be sure that not all women feel like you about that (otherwise Tinder wouldn't have any success with women). But you still just consider the question under one angle. Would no men be just unattractive to you even if they had the best personality for you? And if yes, what percentage of men could fall in this category ? I guess you have male friends with a more or less good personality, don't tell me you are attra… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/23 01:20 PM |
| 1 | Most women can’t admit that they care about looks just/nearly as much as men because they see themselves as the sophisticated and non-primitive gender as opposed to men.And where do confidence comes from? Honestly the video you show completely contradicts your point. First the guy is better looking than most even if he has absolutely no style. He is in great shape (that is not a good shape, he seems fit, large shoulders, big arms... I train since years and I would look like a twig next to him) and has a nice face. He probably received a lot more validation from women in his life than the average man. And therefore he can rightfully be more confident than the av… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/23 01:04 PM |
| 2 | Most women can’t admit that they care about looks just/nearly as much as men because they see themselves as the sophisticated and non-primitive gender as opposed to men.Very true. But when you walk in the streets, there are probably many men who could have an amazing personality and who still not be able to turn you on. That is what I meant. I had women telling me that personality is more important but that they found a huge majority of men physically unattractive. In their case, looks was the limiting factor not personality. A friend dated 20-ish guys a few years ago. All of them meeting her requirements for personality, they were good person, kind, exactly wh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/23 12:32 PM |
| 3 | I'm incredibly skeptical that personality or other characteristics can "override" lack of physical attraction - please change my mind.No you are not the only woman like this. But there are many women for whom it doesn't matter if the guy is awful (I saw enough cases with people using models pictures and awful texts clearly indicating they were pedo or violent or just out of jail for battery) and still receiving many messages from women. And there are many women who disregard orange or red flags or at least ate way more forgiving and have much lower expectations for a guy looking good enough. My best friend is good looking and … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/23 12:08 PM |
| 2 | I'm incredibly skeptical that personality or other characteristics can "override" lack of physical attraction - please change my mind.Is that the right definition? That means that an asshole could have a great personality. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/23 11:51 AM |
| -1 | I'm incredibly skeptical that personality or other characteristics can "override" lack of physical attraction - please change my mind.I think that is wrong in some case. My ex girlfriend only started being attracted to me after smelling me. She was addicted to me smell. She never was attracted to me like she was to a handful of men she have seen in her whole lifetime, but much more than 99% of men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/23 11:49 AM |
| 1 | Most women can’t admit that they care about looks just/nearly as much as men because they see themselves as the sophisticated and non-primitive gender as opposed to men.For your last paragraph: I am what my friends call a catch personality wise. I have been told several time I would be a great husband and an amazing father. Female friends prized my calmness, openness, tolerance... I have as well a good education, plenty of friends, including a good amount of women, have a stable life situation, have more than enough money, various hobbies and some people find me fun... But I never had a woman who started being attracted to le over time. It is not that some wome… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/23 10:55 AM |
| 1 | Most women can’t admit that they care about looks just/nearly as much as men because they see themselves as the sophisticated and non-primitive gender as opposed to men.Women don't care as much as men about look, but men are indiscriminate about looks and women aren't. Isn't there a contradiction here? As a man, 50% of women my age pass the look threshold. I very rarely meet a woman saying that more than 10% of men pass her look threshold. So imo, women care more about look than men | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/23 10:38 AM |
| 1 | Most women can’t admit that they care about looks just/nearly as much as men because they see themselves as the sophisticated and non-primitive gender as opposed to men.Yes and no. Men are very visual but would sleep with most women if they had the opportunity. Women are not only visually stimulated... but most women would reject most men just for their looks, for sex or a relationship, no matters what other characteristics the men have. I had women tell me that look wasn't that important and later that they rejected 99% of men on look alone... they meant that the men they looked for should have a special look niche and not necessarily look like a model, withou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/23 10:34 AM |
| – | Most women can’t admit that they care about looks just/nearly as much as men because they see themselves as the sophisticated and non-primitive gender as opposed to men.But isn't this just cultural? Or is it some elitism? I am a tall slender man. I shave, have a nice haircut and wear nice clothes, my body is ok since I do frequently sports. But no women ever found me hot! Whereas any woman with a cleavage will already be hot for most men. So what would make most men hot? If the answer is nothing they can do, it is the proof than most women value looks more than men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/23 10:27 AM |
| 2 | Most women can’t admit that they care about looks just/nearly as much as men because they see themselves as the sophisticated and non-primitive gender as opposed to men.But honestly, would you say looks or personality is what remove most men from your partner selection process? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/23 10:23 AM |
| 1 | Most women can’t admit that they care about looks just/nearly as much as men because they see themselves as the sophisticated and non-primitive gender as opposed to men.That of course is clear. But would you say than look is what put most men out of your potential partner choice, or is it personality ? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/23 10:21 AM |
| 1 | Most women can’t admit that they care about looks just/nearly as much as men because they see themselves as the sophisticated and non-primitive gender as opposed to men.I don't think this is the argument of this post. To le it is more than women downplay the importance of look. For many women, look is the most important criteria dating wise. But many would say it is personality. But there are way more men fitting the personality she looks for than the one fitting the look she looks for. But check the success of men with great personality and awful personality when they look good or bad. Any good-looking asshole has an easier time dating than an ugly mister perf… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/23 10:20 AM |
| 3 | Most women can’t admit that they care about looks just/nearly as much as men because they see themselves as the sophisticated and non-primitive gender as opposed to men.Good answer. How many men pass the look threshold and how many men pass the personality threshold ? Usually women have more potential male friends than men they fancy sexually. So I would say look is way more important | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/23 10:14 AM |
| 1 | Most women can’t admit that they care about looks just/nearly as much as men because they see themselves as the sophisticated and non-primitive gender as opposed to men.They aren't brutally honest. I rarely see a woman saying she only swipes left because she finds 98% of men unattractive. And that if a man looks good enough, most of what would be a red flag for a less attractive man doesn't matter anymore. But that is the case for many women | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/23 10:12 AM |
| 1 | Most women can’t admit that they care about looks just/nearly as much as men because they see themselves as the sophisticated and non-primitive gender as opposed to men.I think you are right. I don't know many women saying that look is not important but many would say that look isn't their most important criteria for a partner. But you just have to get a bit deeper than that by asking how many men are physically attractive to a woman to figure out that this criteria alone remove from 50 to 99% of the men her age of the market. Which makes it frequently the most important criteria. It doesn't mean the man needs to be a model, but he needs to fit the narrow band … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/23 10:07 AM |
| 1 | Daily Community Chat MegathreadIt is not impossible to have hook-ups with average looks... but it is very rare except you are super charming, fun, outgoing with a fire personality. I have a good personality and I am average looking. I have plenty of female friends. But not many women are wanting to hook-up with me, or they hide it very well | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/23 02:15 PM |
| 2 | Daily Community Chat MegathreadThat would mean that gangbang lady lost her virginity in a gang bang. Yes that would matter. Otherwise a woman having a gangbang or a n count or 12 or both wouldn't bother me that much as long as she is honest and open about it. It would bother me if she lied or hide her past. And I would have troubles with a woman having a high n count above 30 or 50. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/23 02:12 PM |
| 2 | Women shouldn't give one man her 20sYou do you! I have friends who married early and live a happy life with kids and their husband/wife now. And in no case the husband dropped his wife for a younger woman. That is an movie plot, it probably happens in real life, but that is not that common. Actually in most cases, the wife is the one ending the relationship, not the husband | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/23 11:50 AM |
| 2 | The modern dating dynamic is extremely uneven and it only seems to be getting worseMy therapist is specialized in couple therapy and I bet he knows what he speaks about. He never said that the cure to my depression was to get a girlfriend, he said that the lack of romantic love and frequent rejection were a major cause to it. But by the way, getting my first girlfriend changed my life totally, even if it just lasted 3 months. You have no idea what the difference felt between never having felt wanted romantically and doubting on yourself about everything dating-wise and knowing… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/23 11:40 AM |
| 1 | If youre a normal guy, what is the "bare minimum" to be able to get laid, or have dates?Yes I see your point. The view you have is probably possible for some people but it never worked for me. First of all, because asking out a woman I barely knew NEVER worked, I probably don't have the look for it. Then because I don't meet as many people as you suppose here. I went to a STEM campus with 90% men, noe I have a job in industry, 90% men again. I can't go to pub 3 times a week, I still want to see my friends, do my workout sessions, play music, do what needs to be done at the house, s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/23 08:36 AM |
| 2 | The modern dating dynamic is extremely uneven and it only seems to be getting worseIt is funny how you speak of things you know nothing about. they aren't intrinsically damaged by no sex and no romance. Well I did two depressions. According to my therapist, both were directly linked to my lack of romantic life and by the amount and ways of rejection. And from his experience, it is not unusual and could create traumas. I don't know what is the longest period of time you stayed unvoluntarily without sex, cuddles or feeling romantically loved, or desired... for me it was 8 years.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/23 07:48 AM |
| 1 | If youre a normal guy, what is the "bare minimum" to be able to get laid, or have dates?But that what I meant, who are the 60 people you ask out? I am asking out women with whom I already discussed a bit and who I think are at least somewhat compatible and who show something whoch potentially could be some interest in me. In real life, that is between 0 and 3 women per year, because yes, after 30, meeting single people isn't that easy anymore. And not all of them accept a date. And among the one who accept a date, most are not attracted to me, they just like me as a person. And whe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/23 06:59 AM |
| 1 | The modern dating dynamic is extremely uneven and it only seems to be getting worseWell those "statistical anomalies" will be pretty damaged and it isn't sure they will be in a relationship in the future or have a family if they wanted one. Some do depression, some kill themselves, some become violent against others, some opt out from society. I don't think people realize how many 'Chads' have had multiple girlfriends and been on dozens of dates, but were also rejected by many dozens more. My best friend is a good looking guy but he is very shy and afraid of rejection. He has … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/23 06:51 AM |
| 1 | CMV: The art of approaching women really isn't that complicatedI don't know much rom com or romantic movies and I wasn't especially meaning them. I speak more globally and not only from pop culture: no media, movie, song, few books... relates the experience of those men They are losers, it is OK to joke or ridiculise them, to not take their issues seriously. Even in documentaries. There was a radio show a few weeks ago. 2 journalists interviewed specialists about dating apps. They explained how apps worked, did tests... A lot of pro and cons came out, most … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/23 06:41 AM |
| 1 | The modern dating dynamic is extremely uneven and it only seems to be getting worseWell compliments would be amazing (only if they honest). In my whole life only few women complimented me, all of them being girlfriends or women I dated. Even women I dated for months never complimented me. Then, balanced rejections. I mean a rejection could be something like: you are cute/ handsome/ hot but I am not interested for whatever reason. That is much better than ghosting. And finally, doing a first or a second step, making men understand that they are desirable when you think they are… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/23 06:17 AM |
| 2 | CMV: The art of approaching women really isn't that complicatedOh you don't get my point or you want to troll. I am not frustrated they are afraid. I have a maximal empathy for them and I don't deny that some men are freaky or violent. The frustration is not that they are afraid, nor that they reject me... it comes from the amount of romantic rejection without being validated. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/23 06:08 AM |
| 1 | CMV: The art of approaching women really isn't that complicatedThis whole sub feels like a trip to another culture for me. Of course it does. Which media or movie depict the love/sex life than most men on this sub are having? People speak freely here (and it is true, some are saying pretty awful and disgusting stuff), they wouldn't detail their life in public because they would be ridiculed or called losers. Religious, I guess? Well, one was not at all religious and two other were religious, but that was not the reason behind no sex (both told me they didn'… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/23 07:18 PM |
| 1 | The modern dating dynamic is extremely uneven and it only seems to be getting worseWell men. Being low status, uneducated, unemployed or less attractive isn't as important for women as it is for men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/23 06:17 PM |
| 1 | The modern dating dynamic is extremely uneven and it only seems to be getting worseYour desirability index means nothing. There are thousands of reason to date higher or lower on an average desirability scale. My best friend is good looking, so I know that some women prefer to be one of his partners than to get a monogamous committed relationship with a more average man. And his serious girlfriends are not always very desirable. And I am pretty sure that the difference between the toral amount and duration of relationships between the highest and lowest decile is bigger for me… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/23 03:19 PM |
| 1 | If youre a normal guy, what is the "bare minimum" to be able to get laid, or have dates?Nowadays, asking out the 60 people of the club is the best way to get kicked out. A guy of the climbing hall got a warning for having asked out one woman. And he is a polite and nice guy and wasn't harassing her. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/23 03:07 PM |
| 1 | If youre a normal guy, what is the "bare minimum" to be able to get laid, or have dates?Partly. From feeling ugly. If you always have been rejected, you have no reason to be confident about asking out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/23 03:02 PM |
| 1 | If youre a normal guy, what is the "bare minimum" to be able to get laid, or have dates?Hahaha my best friend thought he was average, he installed Bumble and had 3000 likes in a day... Basic bantering and social cues, plus humour and I wish, wear nice clothes... and getting laid is a not even a once a year event. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/23 03:01 PM |
| 2 | How do would you like appreciation shown to you from a woman?Every way possible. Compliments! We never receive them. No women ever told me I was hot... but some probably thought it. So say or show you want him, it will make his year. Small attentions. An ex liked to draw me things or to write small poems. That was lovely. Another one I just had 2 dates with cooked me cookies to thank me being a great person. That was a sweet rejection. Respect them and don't downplay their issues. Eventually help them. If you want to show appreciation to a single friend, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/23 02:56 PM |
| 1 | Why do low quality guys just not lower your standards comparable to where you actually are?I think you partially contradict yourself. I see a lot of guys here that speak to how difficult the dating market is right now for them, and that seems to be true for the most part. But I also see a lot of guys totally delusional in their choice of women and what they think is a normal level of attractiveness If the market is already difficult even for men who aren't delusional, do you think that it would be easier for low value men? I don't have a clue of which woman is into me and I have been … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/23 02:49 PM |
| 1 | CMV: The art of approaching women really isn't that complicatedI think you do well to always assume sexual interest. Most men are sexually attracted to many women, so you would be frequently assuming right. I can't assume the same. Women just haven’t decided yet. That may be true. But believe me, some women never decide as long as you don't force them to take a decision. I dated several women during months, they wanted to take things slow, fine, but after 2 months we were still not making out, I am not even speaking of sex. They only took a decision when I … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/23 02:37 PM |
| 1 | Men are disingenuous in the dating marketThere are ugly or handsome assholes. And they are ugly or handsome men, who are respectful and looking for relationships. The only thing is that the more a man is good looking and wanting a relationship, the less time he will be single. The ones remaining have flaws or don't want to commit. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/23 02:20 PM |
| 1 | Men are disingenuous in the dating marketThere is some good truths in it. The amount of women swiping right on my good looking best friend is insane. His profile is 3 pictures and that's it. True he is good looking, I fully understand that some women want to fuck. But the amount of women swiping right while looking for a relationship without knowing anything except his face is shocking. Getting a bio or at least indicating the type of relationship you are looking for is not necessary when you look good enough. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/23 02:13 PM |
| 3 | CMV: The art of approaching women really isn't that complicatedHow the threads on the entitlement of some men here are 100% shocking. I am not saying it is easy for women to deal with such men. I was educated to be a good guy, I am caring, I am respectful and I am not dominant nor pushy. So I was following the advices you gave for a long time. I was not considering women just like living sex dolls, I have at least basic body language comprehension, so I wouldn't approach a woman who is not looking at me or facing me, except in special case (something fell f… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/23 01:54 PM |
| 1 | The modern dating dynamic is extremely uneven and it only seems to be getting worseAgain, you don't need vacation to move abroad. You find a job abroad and then you move. The only good reason you gave is family. For example: destination Thailand. a flight New York - Bangkok, the lowest price I saw for January was 400$. You need a visa and an accommodation... sure, lets count s thousand dollars. It is an amount of money, sure, but most Americans have a TV or a smartphone or car or furniture or a whatever they could sell to get the money to move there if they wanted. But they ju… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/23 11:43 AM |
| 1 | The modern dating dynamic is extremely uneven and it only seems to be getting worseAgain, a majority of rejection is 100% fine and normal. And I fully agree that most people are indeed not compatible. I speak of plenty of rejection over years without a single acceptance or a compliment. That makes people doubts about themselves. And that is more common than people think. I know several single guys who are in this situation, not because they are bad guys, ugly or super shy. I never heard something like "you look good/cute/hot but I already have a boyfriend/have to focus on my s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/23 11:31 AM |
| 1 | The modern dating dynamic is extremely uneven and it only seems to be getting worseIt is nore a question of will than means. Once you live there, you will try to find a partner, not before or on holidays. And once you decide to move, living paycheck to paycheck isn't an issue, you don't need so much money to travel. I moved to country without speaking the local language and I worked there, sometimes for the local minimum salary. I once even didn't have an accommodation and slept during werks in hostels without knowing where I would sleep the next day (every hostel was fully bo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/23 11:11 AM |
| 1 | CMV: The art of approaching women really isn't that complicatedWell, to be honest, approaching a woman isn't complicated. Approaching a woman without making her afraid or uncomfortable is already more complicated. Even by doing everything right, you can still create a strong defense reaction sometimes for some women. And I personally don't like to scare people. Then if by approach someone, you mean seducing someone you approached... well that is super difficult. As a man who doesn't look good, I have yet to find a way. I have no issue to make friends with w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/23 10:59 AM |
| 2 | CMV: The art of approaching women really isn't that complicatedWell, that is true when you look good. When you don't, you just get friends, which isn't bad when it is from time to time but can be soul crushing when it happens all the time | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/23 10:52 AM |
| 1 | The modern dating dynamic is extremely uneven and it only seems to be getting worseFemale attraction and sexuality is more complex than that. That is certainly true in many case. It is many times more complex than that. But it isn't always as complex as some people pretend. My bestfriend is a good looking guy, many women don't need to know him the tiniest before going to his bed. Just looking good is enough for many women. And just showing off a good situation as well. Would the Tinder swindler have as much success on Tinder if he pretended to be financially average? So I woul… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/23 10:32 AM |
| 1 | The modern dating dynamic is extremely uneven and it only seems to be getting worseAre you sure of your maths? Because it certainly is more complex. 59% of people between 18 and 34 already have used a dating app. More men than women certainly. But maybe the average duration men and women have their profile online is different. For example, a woman just looking for a fling from time to time probably doesn't need to have a profile constantly activated. A man looking for a fling could probably keep his profile for a year without having one. Or maybe men are in average using more … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/23 10:21 AM |
| 1 | The modern dating dynamic is extremely uneven and it only seems to be getting worseThings have been different! Most people married someone living a short distance away. In my whole life, most of my dates and relationships lived hours away... I just can't find a woman living close-by who wants to date me. The women overall have more choices, and as we know, they tend to choose among the best they can get, asthey always did... but since they have more choices now, it becomes more competitive. A funny example. My best friend is a good looking guy. We were at a small music festiva… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/23 10:12 AM |
| 1 | The modern dating dynamic is extremely uneven and it only seems to be getting worseThere is some truth in it! But I would like to point out that real life isn't much easier for some guys. If I take my case, I can meet women in real life, I can make them laugh, I can make them feel good, O can make friends pretty easily... but attracting a woman is a different story. I am 34 and have been single 31 years of my life, I know only 5 women who I met that way and who were physically attracted to me, all of them I met when I was abroad. I even had several women who dated me, sometime… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/23 10:02 AM |
| 2 | The modern dating dynamic is extremely uneven and it only seems to be getting worseWhy not? You can learn another language if you want. It is hard but doable. And flying elsewhere never have been that easy (and that is a pity). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/23 09:43 AM |
| 2 | The modern dating dynamic is extremely uneven and it only seems to be getting worseWhat you say is very true. But that's not women's fault, and it's also not their problem. I doubt this lack of interest could result in a stable and healthy society. If you put most men outside of the sex and relationship market, what interest do they have to participate in society? what will be their role? And how would they benefit from society and not only contribute? Many people despise there job, many people don't like society constraints, many people are isolated... if you remove to people… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/23 09:41 AM |
| 7 | The modern dating dynamic is extremely uneven and it only seems to be getting worseWell rejection in itself isn't the issue. The issue is the very high amount of rejection and the low amount of positive feedbacks that some people receive. I had been rejected so many times before my first kiss at 26 that I doubted about everything. Was I ugly? Was I behaving poorly ? Were my attempts to flirt wrong? What should I change or do differently? I had these questions in my head during 8 or 9 years before understanding that no, I was fine even if I wasn't perfect. The first time a woma… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/23 09:27 AM |
| 2 | The modern dating dynamic is extremely uneven and it only seems to be getting worseI lived in Italy and it was a nightmare for dating women. Even my Italian lesbian flatmate was super pissed about it. I had in total one single date in 6 months there. But I guess my way of being is not adapted to the country habits. I wasn't pushy enough, I am not complimenting strangers or every women I talk too. So women probably took that as disinterest | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/23 09:15 AM |
| 1 | Women want your masculine traits first, and everything else later.I was on my back, my girlfriend was on top of me but I was not inside her, I was not yet wearing a condom and she didn't take the pill. She knew about my will to do it only with a condom, we discussed it several time already, she wanted to be pregnant, and the moment absolutely wasn't yet right for me to have kids. At some point she just put me inside her, I asked her to stop but she just started riding me instead. I told her to stop 3 more times, and she was just brushing it off, trying to conv… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/23 02:36 PM |
| 1 | Do men like plus size women?Exactly except I wouldn't say thin but skinny. But most of the women with a normal body are at least somewhat attractive | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/23 12:31 PM |
| 3 | Women want your masculine traits first, and everything else later.A masculine body: strong first, large and tall then. Skinny and short men are not seen as masculine. A masculine behavior: dominant, extrovert, assertive, expensive, self assured and a leader too. Passive, shy or submissive men are not seen as masculine Imagine a wonderful man, like the greatest man on earth, but without much masculine features. This amazing person would probably still have huge issues dating in today dating market. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/23 12:28 PM |
| 1 | Do men like plus size women?Some oversized women are hot, many not so hot or not hot at all imo. I already dated chubby women. I would have preferred most of them to be slimmer, that is true (I am skinny). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/23 12:19 PM |
| 1 | Women want your masculine traits first, and everything else later.I have been "raped" too depending on the meaning people give to the word (more exactly a woman did me something sexual I explicitly asked not to do and did not stop when I told her to). But it is true I worded my sentence incorrectly. I wanted to mean raping violently, using superior strength. But yes sexual violence is not solely from men towards women. I spoke on the topic of sexual violence since years. And most people, men and women, I spoke with on the topic acknowledged being at least once… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/23 11:24 AM |
| 1 | Women want your masculine traits first, and everything else later.I am not that strong anyway. But on some exercise, I can do more than much more muscly men. For strength, if you cannot see it, it had no value in dating. No woman assess a man on the weight he can lift, but on his appearance. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/23 11:06 AM |
| 1 | Women want your masculine traits first, and everything else later.No creatine is too much for me. Already taking protein powder twice a day was a lot to ask. It is possible that my training lacked intensity but a coach did it. He was as well unsure of the cause because I was not progressing. I am doing all series and repeat until a certain level and then I just can't do more, so I don't progress. So I even did sometimes 2 training a day to manage to do the amount of repeat I was supposed to do during that day. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/23 11:03 AM |
| 1 | Women want your masculine traits first, and everything else later.My goal is not to be stronger, it is to be heavier and as well more manly and more attractive for women. For the rest I fully agree with you. But that doesn't bring me anything in dating | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/23 07:00 AM |
| – | When women say that older men are repulsive, what do they mean?I agree with your last sentence. For the rest, there are in average differences between men and women, including social differences that we are trying to remove. So I think it is legitimate to judge people on their actions, not on their gender. And that is why I found it hypocrite if at least for people pretending to be for equality between sexes. As for the men want sex more than the women. It depends on men and on women. Some men are asexual and some women are sex addict. But I don't see why w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/23 10:58 PM |
| – | When women say that older men are repulsive, what do they mean?I never said you were one. And that wouldn't be my business anyway | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/23 08:47 PM |
| – | When women say that older men are repulsive, what do they mean?What do you mean by attitude towards sex between men and women? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/23 08:40 PM |
| – | 'Liberal Woman' Goes Viral On TikTok For Saying It's Hard To Find 'Masculine' Man Who's Not ConservativeDid it work better? I would say so from my experience | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/23 07:10 PM |
| 3 | Women want your masculine traits first, and everything else later.I will correct shy. He is afraid of rejection and never did a first or a second step. He is definitely passive in the first stage of dating. Most of the times he wait that women send him the first message and that they initiate everything. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/23 06:21 PM |
| 6 | Women want your masculine traits first, and everything else later.Well, they want him. We say that most men just want to fuck. But some women are the same. They see a good looking guy and get super horny and they act to get it on ways which are not that different to the most direct horny men. They send unsollicited nude or invitations, sexualize everything, come to meet him with very revealing clothes, they lie on their relationship status and the kind of relationship they want, are becoming very physical, are trying to make him drink, are harassing, are refus… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/23 06:19 PM |
| – | 'Liberal Woman' Goes Viral On TikTok For Saying It's Hard To Find 'Masculine' Man Who's Not ConservativeThen I am happy for you. Congratulations! For me it does not work well. I am a tall skinny man, l like to wear shirts with flowery motives, I care about others, I am normally not dominant and not pushy, I communicate clearly, I am relationship and family oriented, I am not into the competition to show I am the best, I don't fancy big cars and a superficial lifestyle. And I am not shy but not extraverted either. So we can say that I follow my own path in life and that is mostly successful except … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/23 05:55 PM |
| 1 | Women want your masculine traits first, and everything else later.It is easy to say. I know you that every body doesn't have the same body. Some store fat really easily, some don't absorb much... I am in the second group, I was always eating more than most people and I was always the skinniest. But I have some intestinal issue too. I already ate 5 big meal a day and stopped all aport and I still couldn't gain mass. I changed my alimentation totally to put even more protein and fat in it, drinking my protein smoothie twice a day. And of course I lifted weight. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/23 05:27 PM |
| 2 | When women say that older men are repulsive, what do they mean?Sorry, but we spoke here of the case of someone having a relationship with one of his/her students. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/23 02:10 PM |
| 1 | When women say that older men are repulsive, what do they mean?That is what I find hypocrite. No one forced A to date B or C to date D. Why congratulate the older woman and not the older man in a similar situation? The older woman has probably as well more money, is more mature, women are aging well too! Or why not congratulate the younger man too, who broke as well the stereotype? Or the younger woman? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/23 01:43 PM |
| 1 | I don’t think men on here have a single clue about how women interpret attention from the opposite sexGreat input! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/23 01:25 PM |
| 2 | When women say that older men are repulsive, what do they mean?I actually agree with you on that point. The power imbalance could make it predatory. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/23 01:21 PM |
| -2 | When women say that older men are repulsive, what do they mean?I don't think you should say men/women when you mean some men, or a special group of men... for example, I never told a woman that she won't find someone past a certain age. I am 34 and most of my female single friends my age have no issue with suitors... honestly I wish I would have just 10% of it. but it is true that they have usually less suitors than 10 years ago. But isn't it the same with men. Why not congratulate him for breaking the stereotype that his age group is repulsive? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/23 01:16 PM |
| 15 | Women want your masculine traits first, and everything else later.I think most women undervalue the effect masculinity can have on most of them. But I agree you don't need to be a caricature of it. I am a man, skinny, I don't have big muscles, I am not dominant, macho, on the contrary I am caring, patient. I like to wear nice shirts with flowers motives (I love plants). And my face is not especially attractive. Guess what, finding a woman who is attracted to me is pretty pretty rare. It is always you are a great man but I sont feel attracted to you, some add, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/23 01:10 PM |
| 51 | Women want your masculine traits first, and everything else later.You could be the most physically attractive man in the world but if you're shy, have no self assurance or self confidence, never ask her out and never initiate anything, all attraction is gone. You are not that attractive if you say that. My best friend is good looking but shy, he never asked a woman out. Sure he lost some good opportunities, but the number of women doing all the first steps for him is pretty high | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/23 01:02 PM |
| 1 | Daily Community Chat MegathreadWell I hope you never will, but depression is a good path for it | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/23 12:55 PM |
| 3 | Daily Community Chat MegathreadTrue but it doesn't tell you what the right path is. I failed a lot trying to attract women, and I cannot say that these failures teached me more than my few successes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/23 12:53 PM |
| 2 | Daily Community Chat MegathreadIt really depends of society. A friend comes from the middle east. Each time he went back home, her mother presented him several women who were single. Well in the end, he found his wife and the mother of his kids through his mother and his wife's mother. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/23 12:51 PM |
| 2 | When women say that older men are repulsive, what do they mean?Easy to say. Not all women see it as pathetic, and not all men see it as fine. And why would it be pathetic to have a relationship with someone having a different age? I thought we don't control who we are attracted to, that we can love who we want, that love is blind... or does it work just for some demographics? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/23 12:44 PM |
| -5 | When women say that older men are repulsive, what do they mean?Well it just means that some women absolutely have no problems to be seen publicly with much older (rich) men. So it is relevant to the message I answered to. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/23 12:41 PM |
| 0 | When women say that older men are repulsive, what do they mean?Lets get real, I never heard what you speak of about men encouraging men to get barely legal girl anywhere in real life. There are crazy men on reddit, yes, but I don't base my ideas on women from the craziest women from reddit either. But the comments I heard from women were said in real life. For your last point, I have the regret to announce you that most women want to be with a man who is taller and stronger than them and well placed socially, many want a man with a higher salary than theirs… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/23 12:40 PM |
| 1 | When women say that older men are repulsive, what do they mean?I find it a bit hypocrite. Because, when it is an older woman dating a young man with a big age gap, it is most of the time considered as something fine. I had a female flatmate who was 22 and dating since 2 years a 40 years old man. Yes that felt strange, many people gossiping, telling the guy was an old perv... and I always wondered why she chose him because she had some choice. But she was happy with it and the guy was very kind and respectful. And one of my friends was English teacher and ma… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/23 11:41 AM |
| -4 | When women say that older men are repulsive, what do they mean?It's been a long time you didn't go to an opera darling. Young women there don't have issue to be seen with old rich men who could be their fathers | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/23 11:17 AM |
| 2 | Daily Community Chat Megathreadbeing single sucks but isn't really damaging Really? Did you ever go during a decade without a compliment, without cuddling, without intimacy, without shared project, without feeling loved in a romantic way, without being validated once as a potential dating/sex partner? I can tell you, the thousands of rejections, the I don't know what I am doing wrong, and the I wish I would just have someone, experience a tiny bit what all media, friends, movies, songs are constantly speaking about was pretty… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/23 07:19 AM |
| 1 | Daily Community Chat MegathreadFor my part, I love traveling, discovering new country, new landscape, new people and new culture. And it is true as well that women abroad are way more interested in me than women here. I probably stand out just because I am a stranger. But I hate people who constantly travel per plane, who have a CO2 footprint which is 50 or 100 times what it should be. And I hate people who travel just superficially. They go to a famous site, take a selfie, feed their instagram and go to the next spot... but … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/23 07:09 AM |
| 17 | Where Are Y'all Getting Your "Advice" From?First the advice I got came from the environment I grew up in: be a good respectful guy, find a good woman for marriage, sex for sex is bad and it is not what women want. Guess what, it didn't work. Young women wanted to have fun with others, not to have a serious relationship with me. So at 26, I was still a kissless virgin. Then I spoke of it with many friends, men and women... and until recently, no one got why it didn't work for me or why the advices they gave me didn't work. Like "man, this… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/23 06:52 AM |
| 2 | 'Liberal Woman' Goes Viral On TikTok For Saying It's Hard To Find 'Masculine' Man Who's Not ConservativeI didn't follow the rules of dating and masculinity. Guess what, I realized that following your own path is not something helpful at all in dating and I had to be more normal to get successful with women. Being outside of the ideals of the other gender is not a good dating strategy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/23 06:33 AM |
| 1 | Daily Community Chat MegathreadOh that is very true. But up to now, all the plant mom I met lived in a city, sometimes hours away from me. And I agree. I am not a plain unattractive cave troll. But as a very good 35 years old female friend once said, I am not hot. If I were I would have be a real catch. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 07:22 PM |
| 1 | Daily Community Chat MegathreadWell for what I know, there are more men than women wanting to live on the countryside, so finding a woman who is thrilled about gardening isn't that easy. That is why farmers as well have trouble finding partners. And then, even when I meet a woman who want to share such a lifestyle, which is rare, she has to find me attractive, and that is rare too. I think otherwise I am doing well with women, I don't have issue to be friends with them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 05:58 PM |
| 1 | Daily Community Chat MegathreadNot every average or even good looking guy has a girlfriend at a time T, no matter how great the person is. I know plenty of great average guys who go years without finding anyone. And it is the same with sone women. I had a few girlfriends in the past, most of them when I lived abroad. I am maybe not standing out enough for women from my own country. Or I am just not attractive to them. I can already count 5 women this years, that I dated, who obviously liked me a lot but felt more like with a … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 05:06 PM |
| 1 | Daily Community Chat MegathreadNope. I am saying that you wouldn't be attracted to him, which doesn't mean that he would globally stay an attractive man. I am relatively average looking. It isn't because one woman ever found me attractive that I would call myself an attractive man. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 04:10 PM |
| 2 | Even if Female Nature is true, there's no benefit being mad at it and we must accept it for what it isOh I just meant your message could be wrongly interpreted. I grew up in a community in which women and relationships were presented differently. So yes, for me it was somewhat shocking when I discovered that I indeed needed to be dominant masculine and egoistic to be more attractive to women, that women were actually enjoying sex and casual sex, and that no, being a good guy was not enough for seduce a good girl | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 04:04 PM |
| 5 | You cannot build confidence because it is a self regulatory psychological mechanism.To me, collaboration is in full opposition with domination, not necessarily with leadership. It depends, sometimes I know I am more experienced than my colleagues, that they are still learning, sometimes I know pretty well the colleague I help today will help me tomorrow. And some colleagues are definitely more experienced than me | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 02:54 PM |
| 6 | You cannot build confidence because it is a self regulatory psychological mechanism.That is something I never feel. I don't think I am superior to most people. It is not because I am richer or play the guitar, studied, or have a good job that I am better than anyone else. And I am more into collaboration than domination or competition. When a colleague has trouble filling a task, I am glad to help him. I run, I did races but I don't wish to be the first, I don't care at all, I don't even know how long it took me to do the race, I just enjoy the atmosphere there and I am happy I… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 02:40 PM |
| 1 | Daily Community Chat MegathreadBut then, why not saying things clearly when I asked her out, or at the second or third date instead of I need time. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 02:13 PM |
| – | The amount of confidence, personality, game etc needed to attract women is GREATLY overstatedhttps://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/n-keystat.htm You just have to calculate the share of men having more than 15 partners and divide it by the total amount of partners all men had | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 01:45 PM |
| 1 | The way women behave with men they’re genuinely attracted to is very different compared to the way they behave with men that have merely grown on them.No it isn't typical to say it. But she was especially honest (and could not hide it anyway). I am not that experienced with women, but my 2 ex relationships had a crush on another guy after a year. The first one even cheated on me in a similar situation except I didn't know the guy she cheated with. And I can tell similar stories about several of my closest friends. So a woman having much more desire for a man than for her husband or boyfriend isn't that atypical. And when I hear the stories of … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 01:43 PM |
| – | The amount of confidence, personality, game etc needed to attract women is GREATLY overstatedCdc for example | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 01:29 PM |
| 3 | You cannot build confidence because it is a self regulatory psychological mechanism.I had a lot of anxiety about approaching women in the past yes, before I was 26, before I succeeded seducing a woman for the first time. Now not really. But I don't approach women I know nothing about except what they look like. I asked out women I meet through activities, friends, travels, clubs, pubs... but only after speaking with them a bit. But most women, even when they like to spend time with me, don't want more than something platonic. And that is the reason for which I don't feel confid… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 01:05 PM |
| 3 | Even if Female Nature is true, there's no benefit being mad at it and we must accept it for what it isBut so to come back to your first message, would you say that women are not more attracted to these men than to other men? Would you not advise men to become more like them in order to have more success with women, even if there will always be women who have different tastes. Because I find it difficult to say that there is not such thing as a homogeneous female nature and acknowledging that if you fit a certain category, you will have more success to date women | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 12:59 PM |
| 2 | Since when did requiring physical attraction for a romantic relationship make you superficial?Would you say that what you find attractive about men is partially defined by media? If yes, would you agree to try to change your mindset or biases about attraction? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 12:46 PM |
| 1 | Daily Community Chat MegathreadA gorgeous guy can't be unattractive... you can not find him attractive that is fully possible. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 12:43 PM |
| 2 | Daily Community Chat MegathreadI have gained no knowledge from it. When I ask a woman what is the issue because it seems to go well and she tells me she is not attracted, she is not telling why. I am not feeling the need to kiss you, to take you in my arms, I don't feel with you the desire I have for my FwB... Some told me they wished they would be attracted to me because we went well along and they felt good with me. I think there are different levels of attraction. Some people are "hot", other people naturally feel desire f… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 12:40 PM |
| 2 | Even if Female Nature is true, there's no benefit being mad at it and we must accept it for what it isWell I feel no sexual attraction towards those men. And I am not specifically into rich stylish masculine men, even as friends. My friends, men and women, are more down to earth person who don't take themselves too seriously | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 12:24 PM |
| 2 | Daily Community Chat MegathreadAs I said, I am perfectly fine waiting for a month without sex. She was maybe an horrible woman, but her behavior, making people wait for sex is not uncommon, for various reason. I already dated several other women for months without sex too... but we never had sex in the end | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 10:48 AM |
| 2 | Daily Community Chat MegathreadI mostly agree with most of your message. But I am pretty sure quite some women aren't that attracted to their partners once the honeymoon phase goes away. Plus there is attraction and attraction, primary and responsive desire. There is a raw attraction you feel for someone you lust for, and there is just desire you feel when the other put you in the right condition. That can create massive differences in a relationship and in sex. I always have been a guy in the second category, I am not hot or… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 10:40 AM |
| 1 | Daily Community Chat MegathreadI lived it. My first girlfriend wanted to wait at least a month before sex. I was fine with it. In the end, she didn't make her previous partners wait (I discovered that later) and she cheated with a guy she met a week before cheating. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 10:20 AM |
| 1 | Daily Community Chat MegathreadLiterally every time it comes up, all of us women around here say that we need to be attracted to someone to date them. Why are you so insistent on believing otherwise? I am a man in a good life situation but I am probably average looking. The amount of women who went on dates with me, from 2 dates to several months dating, without feeling attracted to me is more important than the amount of women I dated who were attracted to me. The last woman I dated for a month was a friend of a friend I met… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 10:18 AM |
| 2 | CMV: Dating gets harder - not easier - for men as they ageYes kind of. I am 34, average and open to meet women between 23 and 4x for something casual and between 27-35 for a relationship. Believe me or not, in the last 2 years, the only 3 women who were up to sleep with me were 8, 9 and 11 years younger. I don't get why, they had other suitors but they chose me | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 10:01 AM |
| – | The amount of confidence, personality, game etc needed to attract women is GREATLY overstatedVery true message. But I would add something. Women are not a monolith. Some just want a relationship with a normal guy, usually as soon as possible. Some want more than that, or no relationship at all. The issue for normal guy is that it appears that there are less women wanting a relationship with a normal guy than normal guys. The normal guys who are not coming in a relationship early (for example because they focused on studying) definitely struggle later on with women. On dating app, I real… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 09:56 AM |
| – | The amount of confidence, personality, game etc needed to attract women is GREATLY overstatedThere was a stat saying that 6% of men had 25% of the sexual partners and 28% of men had 55% of the total amount of sex partners. So a tiny minority of men have sex with way more women than most men. Definitely not all women are sharing Chads, especially not at the same time. But many are, knowingly or not, sleeping with men who had sex with many women previously, and with some who are seeing others at the same time. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 09:45 AM |
| 3 | Older men dating much younger womenJust as an insight. I am a man 34, I always had difficulty to find partners, to find women who found me attractive. I could go years between 2 women who want me. I was open to date women around my age (max 5 years difference) and I was not trying to flirt much with younger women because I asked myself what was the point, I can't attract women my age, what would a woman 8 or 10 years younger choose me. Until once I realized that I received likes from much younger women on a dating app. One of the… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 09:22 AM |
| 2 | Even if Female Nature is true, there's no benefit being mad at it and we must accept it for what it isNo but there are global statistics which most men could take into account if they want to attract women. Of course some women would prefer men outside those preferences. But how many women in the western hemisphere are preferring a feminine fat bald sick poor jobless lazy passive man over a fit good looking man, having a stylish haircut and style, a good job, money, who is active and masculine and charismatic? You can't change your height, your race and some other characteristics, but you better… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 09:09 AM |
| – | Self Improvement Discussion ThreadThanks. Oh you know, I don't have high physical standards. I dated fat and skinny women, from various skin colors, most of them were not especially hot but I still was attracted to them. It is the same for my other criteria. I prefer financially independent women, living close-by... but when I have no successful date during a long time, I dated women without jobs, living hours away... So the real issue is to find women who are attracted to me. And unfortunately most women are not expressing thei… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 09:00 AM |
| 29 | You cannot build confidence because it is a self regulatory psychological mechanism.True. But being successful in your job or playing a music instrument or in sport is not increasing confidence related to dating. I succeeded in my studies and in my career afterwards, I play the guitar well enough, I am skinny but fit and do sports regularly, I am an expert in gardening, I read 1000s books... yet none of this ever helped me seducing women or brought me confidence in my sex appeal. At 34, I have still never heard a woman saying she finds me hot. On the contrary, my brother never … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 08:51 AM |
| – | Self Improvement Discussion ThreadOh I did consult several doctors and a dietetician since I am 18. All of them told me, you will see, after 20 you will gain mass, all men are like this, skinny at first and then they wish they wouldn't grow fat as easily... then the age switched to 25, then 30, then 35. I guess it is not a major problem for them so they don't take it seriously. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 08:43 AM |
| – | Self Improvement Discussion ThreadMy best friend is surprised as well. He never had this issue. But he looks good so his reality is totally different than mine I heard some women develop attraction over time. That and several people told me I tick many many boxes and the dates usually go pretty well. We have good time so maybe they just want to give it a try, at least as long as I am not pushy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 08:40 AM |
| – | Self Improvement Discussion ThreadI have an intestinal disorder so my body isn't absorbing nutriments easily. I eat like crazy and always made my friends jealous because I never had to pay attention to what I am eating... I could eat pizza, fries and ice cream each days and still stay skinny. So I definitely eat enough calories and protein, I do sport and I sleep 7 or 8 hours per night. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 08:35 AM |
| – | Self Improvement Discussion ThreadWhat means getting your life together? Making good friends, staying healthy, having a good job, making enough money to buy a house did not up to now help me in dating women. It actually isn't very different from when I was a student, I had no house, no money, less good friends and no job. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 08:32 AM |
| – | Self Improvement Discussion ThreadGetting money, a better job, big strong muscles, better clothes, or social skills should all be ends in themselves, and they are for most men. Why? You could be happy with little money, a normal job, a healthy body, normal clothes and basic social skills. Why wanting more? I thought the same as you. I didn't grew in a rich environment and I did my best to climb the ladder. I succeeded. I have a great job, enough money to fulfill my dreams, a fit body (without big muscles), I meet very interestin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 08:26 AM |
| – | Self Improvement Discussion ThreadIt is true. But losing weight or building muscle mass isn't easy for everyone. I tried my whole life to build mass, I am still a skinny guy and probably always will be. After years of lifting weight, doing various exercises, my arms are still slimer than the ones of most men who never went to a gym, even through I am 6' tall | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 08:18 AM |
| – | Self Improvement Discussion ThreadYour message is very true. But there are uncertainty on what you can really change and not. Which is pretty frustrating. I did self improvement since a decade, I am doing sports, meditating, I achieve my personal goals... I am doing this for me but I honestly believed it would help me with women too. The reality is, up to now, it didn't help me much to seduce a woman. As a female friend once said "you are a real catch, premium husband material but it is a pity you aren't hot" | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 08:14 AM |
| – | Self Improvement Discussion ThreadIt is one thing to get dates, it is another thing to make a woman attracted to you. I am average, probably between 4 and 6, but I have a goid personality, a good job, a good situation, I am liked by my community and friends. I can get a first date a month if I spent time and energy for it. But most women don't find me attractive enough to get further. They love to spend time with me, they laugh at my jokes, we have fun doing activities, cooking together... but having sex... no sorry. Some ask to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 08:10 AM |
| – | Self Improvement Discussion ThreadVery true. It is the same when men like your outfit or look. How many male colleagues complimented my shirt! Most women found me too feminine How many guys complimented my long beard and hair! I couldn't get a single date while having them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 07:58 AM |
| – | Self Improvement Discussion ThreadSuccess would be to have a long term relationship, one or two kids, with a woman who is not expecting me to move to another country/region for her and who shares my values. Big Bonus points if that woman is really attractive to me and me to her. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 07:56 AM |
| 2 | Since when did requiring physical attraction for a romantic relationship make you superficial?Requiring physical attraction is not making you superficial. But requiring super narrow characteristics could be. For example if you want someone having more or less a certain height or being taller than you that is fine. If you absolutely want someone who is taller than 6', that is superficial. In addition, requiring physical attraction is not superficial, requiring the hottest you can get certainly is, because you could have a perfectly good relationship with someone who is attractive but who … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 07:54 AM |
| 4 | Since when did requiring physical attraction for a romantic relationship make you superficial?It is very true. But you can be 35 and only have had a single relationship of 2 years in your life. It doesn't mean you are not an involuntarily celibate for the rest or a good part of the 15 years you lived as an adult. I have various single male friends who are in their 30s. All have very good jobs, are smart and in shape. Yet all except one have and always had huge troubles meeting women. I mean they rarely get dates, they get sex once a year if they are lucky. They all had one or two relatio… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 07:45 AM |
| – | Question for Women - Are the Majority of Men too ugly to date or hook up with?Ok thanks for your answers 👍 It is super interesting to see how differently women are experiencing attraction. I have a good looking best friend and many women feel so obviously attracted to him it is sometimes funny and frustrating | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 07:12 AM |
| – | Question for Women - Are the Majority of Men too ugly to date or hook up with?Without trying to minimize your experience, because yes men are frequently assholes and pushing for sex, I just want to highlight the tight rope men are on. Of course it doesn't excuse harassment or not accepting a no or stalking or getting violent. I am a good man and I always behave very respectfully with women, not being pushy, not trying all the time to escalate things, going slowly... well it absolutely didn't work for me. The worst is that I systemically ended dating women who liked me but… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 07:04 AM |
| – | Question for Women - Are the Majority of Men too ugly to date or hook up with?That is fine, but do you find that most men in your age range look good? I mean the one you cross in the streets, when shopping... Because I spoke to several women who said that no, it is rare they meet a man they find attractive. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 06:43 AM |
| – | Question for Women - Are the Majority of Men too ugly to date or hook up with?So you say that you are not attracted to most men but that looks is not the reason for it? Because my experience with dating women is that many women told me I have everything they could wish for, female friends tell me I would be an amazing husband and father... and yet finding a woman who is attracted to me is super rare. And I am not a cave troll but I believe that looks is the major reason for it. As a female friend told me once, if I were hot, I wouldn't stay long single. So imo, looks are … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 06:33 AM |
| 1 | The way women behave with men they’re genuinely attracted to is very different compared to the way they behave with men that have merely grown on them.I think you don't get my point and the one of the previous poster. We had a hot and heavy honeymoon phase. But she was feeling visually attracted to a few other men in a way she never was attracted to me to the point she asked me if she eventually could sleep with one of these person. You would say it doesn't happen in every relationship and I am unlucky. Yet it happened in the 2 relationships I ever had. And it doesn't mean these girlfriends didn't feel good with me. They just both had huge cru… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 06:21 AM |
| – | Question for Women - Are the Majority of Men too ugly to date or hook up with?For sure, but you said that you wouldn't filter most men on look alone and yet speak of a necessary sexual attraction in the following sentence. So are you sexually attracted to most men or would you filter them out because you don't find them sexually attractive? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/23 06:07 AM |
| 3 | Dating apps would be healthier if they show how many matches a profile has.I think you are right about 2-5 matches a week for most guys. But in those 2-5 matches, there are bots, scams, and the women never answering messages or unmatching you without reason. Like on Bumble, you could get 5 matchs a week but not even the possibility to send a message because the women never sent one. There is a reason why many guys install 3-5 dating apps... they have trouble to get dates with only 1 app. I think a good third of men get no match at all, but there are awful profiles in t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/23 09:37 PM |
| – | Question for Women - Are the Majority of Men too ugly to date or hook up with?Are you truly attracted to half of the men you meet? I never heard that and frequently heard the opposite. In your eyes you are a six. In some women's you are an 8. In others a 4. It's very subjective. I don't think it is that subjective. Yes some people have a different impression than others and a 6 is not a 6 for everyone. But I would define myself as a 5, and if certainly some women see me as much below 5, I have yet to meet a woman who think I am a 8. Even my girlfriends did not find me hot… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/23 09:17 PM |
| – | Question for Women - Are the Majority of Men too ugly to date or hook up with?Isn't sexual attraction what we are talking about here? Or are looks playing no role in your sexual attraction? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/23 09:11 PM |
| – | Question for Women - Are the Majority of Men too ugly to date or hook up with?Ugly people have lower salaries, make worse first impressions and have less partners and partner choices. In what isn't it a disadvantage? They even receive unwanted attention | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/23 09:08 PM |
| 3 | CMV: RP strategies have become a pre-requisite for male success in datingBut that is the whole thing. I never was sure that a woman was interested in me in a sexual way. And the rare times I felt I knew, or that my friends told me they were sure a girl wanted me, in fact she just wanted my friendship, nothing more. I think it really depends on men. My best friend doesn't get my situation but he looks good, signs women are giving him are obvious, even for me. For me, as long as I don't make sexual advances, I never know if a woman is wanting me or not. I already dated… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/23 07:24 PM |
| – | Women what was some ways that you were hit on that you enjoyedOk, I never complimented a woman I didn't know very well on her tits. But I would very rarely compliment a stranger on her haircut because that is not so important for me. I could still do it but it would be very hypocritical. Most reasons I am attracted physically to someone have not much to do with what they can control. A pretty face, pretty eyes, a body with good proportions... I absolutely don't care about make up, about fashion... I think this is a huge difference between men and women. Th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/23 07:12 PM |
| 3 | CMV: RP strategies have become a pre-requisite for male success in datingBy reading people, you are not showing anything. It is passive. How do you show your sexual interest in a 100% respectful way? Man I asked you 5 times the same question, a clear answer would be great | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/23 07:00 PM |
| 2 | CMV: RP strategies have become a pre-requisite for male success in datingNot exactly and you know it. That is why I ask again. How do you do it? (Or maybe I am stupid, but I grew up in a religious environment in which sex was a taboo so maybe I am blind to something) How do you show that you are interested in something sexual with someone while being respectful? In my experience you can do it anyway you want and still offend the other person. And on the contrary, being less respectful, more dominant and more egoistic give better results (and I wish it wasn't the case… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/23 06:35 PM |
| 1 | Women are just as visual as men. It's just that most men don't elicit this type of attractionCome on. My best friend is a very good looking guy. Women reactions to him entering a room or to his pictures are very clear. Even married women who barely know him are trying to sleep with him. Even women solely looking for a husband are hooking up with him. He was at the beginning of the year having 4 sex friends, all of them knowing he was seeing others, none of them happy with it, but all accepting it. The funniest thing is that he is clueless about flirting and couldn't give any other man a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/23 06:18 PM |
| 1 | Marriage Rates in the USAThat is the kind of relationship I am looking for too. I don't want to be the single breadwinner and I prefer financially independent women. And I am very progressive so sharing chores and other tasks is not an issue for me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/23 06:03 PM |
| 1 | Women are just as visual as men. It's just that most men don't elicit this type of attractionEven less. But obese and skinny are the 2 least preferred body types. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/23 03:24 PM |
| 2 | CMV: RP strategies have become a pre-requisite for male success in datingSo how do you stay respectful and good while being sexual? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/23 03:22 PM |
| 1 | Marriage Rates in the USAI say it because studies are showing it and because of personal experience. Not all women are gold digger, no, but studies show that most women want a man winning at least as much as them. And this is a problem for women who want this and reach a high income because finding an even richer man is more difficult. Women are as well divorcing more frequently than men when their partner loses their job. Personally I have no issue with money so I am not taking myself out of the game. But I can't fail … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/23 03:20 PM |
| 1 | Women are just as visual as men. It's just that most men don't elicit this type of attractionThe thing is, as a man, standing out for a small minority is not enough to attract a woman. I love shirts and especially the ones with flowery patterns... I was constantly told from male colleagues and relatives that I was standing out a few years ago, now it is trendy so I don't stand out anymore... yet if women noticed me, no one ever said so or acted on it. And guess what, most women I asked out found me great but they were not attracted Edit: plus, it is very complicated to shop as a man. Fo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/23 03:00 PM |
| 1 | Women are just as visual as men. It's just that most men don't elicit this type of attractionYou know, I wore great shirts and nice pants for the office for years. I was probably better dresses than most and standing out in comparison with others in busses and commuter trains... yet, I never had an attractive face... I realized that my clothes or my style never attracted a woman. And my best friend who has so much women attention never wear anything fancy. He has a good face, that is enough. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/23 02:55 PM |
| 1 | Women are just as visual as men. It's just that most men don't elicit this type of attractionHuuuu... several study claims that strength and shoulder circumference are major criteria in attraction for women. And among favorite body types for women, skinny is preferred by less than 4% of women So skinny guy may blame their weight or frame. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/23 02:42 PM |
| 1 | Women are just as visual as men. It's just that most men don't elicit this type of attractionVery true. But women have a narrower type than men do. I am a tall skinny man. I can tell you not many women like that body type (and several studies claims that too). I am still waiting for a woman finding my body hot even if some women are attracted to me due to my exotism or my smell. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/23 02:38 PM |
| 1 | CMV: RP strategies have become a pre-requisite for male success in datingVery good take. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/23 02:32 PM |
| 5 | CMV: RP strategies have become a pre-requisite for male success in datingJust be a good dude, treat women with respect, that's it. And that is how I become friend, but I never had sex or a relationship by just being a respectful good dude. I would love it to work that way, that is my personality. But it doesn't, I realized as well that in order to not become just a platonic friend, I have to behave early in a more pushy, sexual and direct way. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/23 02:25 PM |
| 1 | CMV: RP strategies have become a pre-requisite for male success in datinglearn how to screen for the good ones. Yes very true. But how are you doing when there isn't many people to screen through. You stay single and celibate forever? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/23 02:17 PM |
| 0 | Marriage Rates in the USAGreat message. A pity that income stays one of the major criteria women are looking for in a man | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/23 02:03 PM |
| 1 | Marriage Rates in the USABut they didn't know who he really was... or they knew and wanted to change him. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/23 02:01 PM |
| 0 | Q4M - How would you advise your daughters to navigate the dating scene?Look, I am a 34 years old average man. My last 3 sexual partners over the last 2 years were women who were between 23 and 25. They were pretty and I still don't get why they picked me for a FwB relationship. For info, I can't find a girlfriend or a partner who is my age. By the way I didn't realize it when I was in my early 20s, because it was rare a girl officially dated a man in his 30s... but it doesn't mean it didn't happen or that they didn't experience it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/23 01:56 PM |
| 2 | The way women behave with men they’re genuinely attracted to is very different compared to the way they behave with men that have merely grown on them.It is sometimes a bit more complicated than this. My last girlfriend was at first not into me. Her sister pushed her to go to the first 2 dates with me. Then she was suddenly fond of me and attracted to me and after some time, she forgot that she was at first "meh" about me. She just loved me. The relationship was good, she was and still is an amazing and great person. But one thing started being bothering. She was attracted to me but not finding me hot. After the first year of the relationship,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/23 01:31 PM |
| 1 | The way women behave with men they’re genuinely attracted to is very different compared to the way they behave with men that have merely grown on them.Well it depends on women and relationships. Most of my partners orgasmed as much as me or more. Some complained of it after some time and asked me to be more egoistic and less caring about them. The thing is that, for me, me giving orgasm is a sure way to get more sex, as I could stay sexless for years between 2 partners, it is better to make my partner satisfied in order to have more sex. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/23 01:17 PM |
| 1 | Don't experience matter at all in a relationship?Very good point. But one remark, usually, when you count the total number of heterosexual partners for men and women, you end up with big differences, so self declaration are to be taken with some suspicion. Plus for sexlessness, if I remember well, there are slightly more women declaring being sexless over the last year, but way more men declaring being sexless over the last 5 years among people below 35. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/23 01:08 PM |
| 3 | What are the exact qualities that passport bros believe southeastern Asian (and elsewhere) women have that western women don't?I am not a passport bro but I moved in various rich countries and found that it always was easier to meet women as a foreigner, probably because I stand out more easily just due to my accent, origin... whereas at home, I am just plain average and not standing out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/23 12:55 PM |
| 1 | The idea that we live in a “hookup culture” and that a significant number of women are having an abundance of casual sex is a myth. Most women have zero interest in casual sex and have a limited number of sexual partners in their lifetime.Open a dating app, look at women and the types of relationships they are open to: I did it and over 300 women between 25 and 35 on Tinder, Bumble and OK Cupid, 40% were saying they were open to casual. In addition to this, there are all the women saying that they are not open to casual but who are indeed. It doesn't mean that every women has an abundance of casual sex, but saying that most single women have and always had no interest in it is wrong too. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/23 12:50 PM |
| 1 | Q4ALL: Why do so many men think they would get a sexual harrasment charge for attempting to talk to a woman? Are they really that clueless about how to speak to a woman without sexually harassing her?It is not that most men really fear sexual harassment charges. Probably most guys are not talking that much with women they don't know because they are too respectful or polite to disturb someone who didn't ask anything or because they are afraid of women, afraid to be a creep or afraid to be judged. Because they can get judged socially very harshly and it may have consequences on their life even if they behaved perfectly well, politely and respectfully. A friend of mine at university was outgoi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/23 01:50 PM |
| 1 | Q4ALL: Why do so many men think they would get a sexual harrasment charge for attempting to talk to a woman? Are they really that clueless about how to speak to a woman without sexually harassing her?What is fear porn? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/23 07:29 AM |
| 4 | Why do so many men here want casual sex?Maybe you just need to fix your style. If I just knew what that means. I tried a dozen styles with hairs and facial hairs, not a single one helped me with women. For clothes, I receive compliments from men and sometimes from women who are already in relationships. Today two female friends told me my shirt was nice. But it took me some time to realize that those kinds of compliments didn't mean that I look good in that shirt, just that the shirt is stylish. Because I already heard a few times tha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/05/23 10:05 PM |
| 9 | Question for the 35+ crowdYou put everything on the male side. But I am an average man and I find 50% of the women my age physically attractive. I don't need a hot girlfriend and I actually never had a hot girlfriend. But nonetheless, just finding one woman who is attracted to me is already tough. And it is the same for most my friends (we are all in our 30s): we can go through years without finding a woman wanting us, despite having quite some female friends. So I guess your comment doesn't really align with reality, or… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/05/23 09:05 PM |
| 6 | Why do so many men here want casual sex?I never heard that women who can't have kids wanted more sex | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/05/23 08:49 PM |
| 14 | Why do so many men here want casual sex?That is superficial but that is very important. Most single men I know can go through years without finding a woman who is attracted to them. I went through a decade without finding a woman who wanted to have sex with me, but I had a lot of female friends. I dated several women for months, women who told me they needed time before becoming physical, who finally told me that they found me amazing but were not attracted to me physically. And I have several friends who are in similar situations and… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/05/23 08:47 PM |
| 2 | Q4W : Why would you be attracted to a physically unattractive man?Very true, women are not a monolith and are attracted to different things. Except it is not one for one. There were for example numerous studies showing that the amount of women preferring skinny men is really low (around 1%). And on the contrary a broad percentage of women prefer an athletic and somewhat muscular body. It is the same for height, for skin color... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/05/23 10:21 AM |
| 1 | Bodyfat Percentage Is The Single Most Important Controllable Factor That Determines Your AttractivenessNope. Your facial features are more important than your bodyfat percentage. I have been skinny my whole life, my best friend too. We have the same height, same education, He has a very good face, I don't... he always had a huge amount of women wanting to date him, something I never experienced despite a low body fat percentage | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/23 07:23 AM |
| 3 | Ironically, interacting more with girls is what got me redpilled, not Tate or whoeverJust to say, women still have casual sex in their 30s or later. And the profile of guys they date or have sex with is mostly the same. Masculine, dominant or good-looking men. As an example. We did a weekend with friends in their 30s. 3 of them were single and used dating app. On 3 days, one received 200 likes, the other 2 respectively 3 and 2 likes (they both received likes from the same 2 women and one had an additional like). The thing is, the only thing the guy with 200 likes has more than t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/23 07:16 AM |
| 2 | Having integrity and respect is often a hindrance to datingI completely feel you because I think the same since a long time. Because yes, when you grow up by thinking that dominance or sexualizing is dirty or bad, you shoot yourself in the leg as a man. I had to learn that you can respect women while flirting and sexualizing. You can accept that you or they may be hurt, but that is a choice that you and they are doing consciously, as long as everyone is honest. As my ex girlfriend told me once: "I know that this situation will hurt me, but you don't hav… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/05/23 12:14 PM |
| 4 | Who and where are these invisible women?Some of my female friends and girlfriends were not especially attractive: fat, not a nice face, no curve... Yet all of them had some attention from men. Not everyday or whatever but at least a few time a year at a party, in a pub or in the public transit. Even the least attractive women I know well had no issue to get partners in real life (while dressing in a suggestive way) or by trying to get close to men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/05/23 12:01 PM |
| – | Most of the posters on this sub prove that women only exist to men if they are a 6/10 +Even the women in the bottom 10% of a dating app have as many likes and more prospects than an average man. It doesn't mean ugly women don't have it hard. But the average woman is perfectly fine regarding the amount of men she can attract. I already spoke to an average looking woman in wheelchair who told me she never experienced being single for more than a year. The same with some overweight friends and some women I wouldn't call attractive at all. But I was with 2 single fit male friends last… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/05/23 11:40 AM |
| 19 | Discussion : Whats the most eye opening real life example of TRP in action you’ve ever experienced?My best friend is tall, has a good looking face and some money he inherited from his family. Women are throwing themselves at him. He is seeing several women at the same time, being honest about it, most are annoyed by the situation (even the one cheating on her husband is jealous that he sees others but text him daily). None are leaving him. On a bad day on dating app, he receives just 40 likes, on a good several hundreds or a thousand... he feels really frustrated after 2 weeks without sex. An… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/23 06:56 AM |
| 2 | Why does it seem that blue collar and “average Joe” men have an easier time with female romantic partnership than money making STEM or forum guys?An additional point The average Joe doesn't need to move to study or find a job. The STEM guys move to a university crowded with other STEM guys, then move to a city known for STEM jobs... In the end they have a hard time to socialize and are regularly moving which limits even further their social integration | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/23 06:19 AM |
| 1 | What is the most overrated common dating advice?Honestly, you don't even need a penis to have sex with a woman Obviously I was doing something wrong. The question at the time was what. And I had troubles to get a clear answer to that question. To come back to confidence, it doesn't come or stay by itself if you keep failing during years, whatever the reason. That is why be confident is a useless advice. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/05/23 12:39 PM |
| 1 | What is the most overrated common dating advice?I get this perfectly. But imagine you want to play the guitar. Being confident that you can learn it, that it is a simple skill is facing reality. After years of learning, after 100 of attempts, you are still unable to play one single song. You switch teachers, they got annoyed, sometimes angry at you, reproaching you that you fail on purpose, because you never were able to play a single note properly, nor to get the rhythm. At that moment, would you be confident on your ability to play guitar? … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/05/23 06:38 AM |
| 1 | What is the most overrated common dating advice?It is the same. I got my first girlfriend by faking being experienced, by faking knowing I had a clue what qi was doing and by faking being used to get women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/05/23 05:34 AM |
| 1 | Men would be alot less frustrated in the dating effort if they were given brutally honest and often politically incorrect truths about what most women expect from a man.It is somewhat similar when you reject a woman. Some are really crazy, some are stalking you for years or being abusive or harassing or whatever... a tiny minority will even say that you raped them or forced them to do things, or that you were violent... Still, I would nonetheless say the truth to women when I reject one (and half of them took it in a good way and were happy I told them the truth) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/05/23 12:18 PM |
| 3 | What is the most overrated common dating advice?Because being confident without reason is recklessness. Why are you not trying to cross the pacific ocean by swimming? Are you not confident you can do it? (This is exaggerated but close to my point of view). You need a good readon to be confident in your ability. I don't get on the stage to play guitar in front of the public without practicing and being sure I can at least play guitar. And to be confident, you need to get positive feedbacks from the world. If everyone who ever listened to you p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/05/23 12:13 PM |
| 2 | What is the most overrated common dating advice?You can put on an act to impress someone, but you're not going to be able to keep that up in the long term, and you risk having things go very badly when your partner sees the real you. I 100% disagree. The first impression is super important. That is why people go on their dates with good clothes, make up, good haircut, that is why you find people in suit or bikini in their dating profile... even when this is not what people looks like 99% of the time. If you get someone attached to you, then y… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/05/23 12:06 PM |
| 1 | Men would be alot less frustrated in the dating effort if they were given brutally honest and often politically incorrect truths about what most women expect from a man.I personally don't put all women or all people in the same box. The first time a friend told me her truth about why I had so much troubles with women, it hurt me a lot but I respected her even more. Because in the previous 10 years, everyone told me I was perfect as I was even if I hardly could find a woman wanting to date me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/05/23 11:58 AM |
| 1 | Men would be alot less frustrated in the dating effort if they were given brutally honest and often politically incorrect truths about what most women expect from a man.I am 100% against violence but I have to say that I don't support at all your opinion. Because then, lying is morally normal, whatever the reason and context, to avoid a potential violence. Not all men are rapists or violent... and most violence come from the close social circle, not from rejected men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/05/23 11:51 AM |
| 2 | Men would be alot less frustrated in the dating effort if they were given brutally honest and often politically incorrect truths about what most women expect from a man.Yes at the same time the truth might help them to get through bitterness and frustration. I am a sympathetic guy, I have no trouble making friends, I have a good behavior and I am a great person. But my dating life was miserable. It was always you are a great guy but I am not the one for you, but you will soon find someone who loves you for who you are. Well in a decade I never met the person who loved me for who I was. But I never insulted or followed a woman rejecting me. I would have loved to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/05/23 11:42 AM |
| 1 | many men need to do a better job at realizing that wanting sex =/= “dating options”I disagree. I don't say that dating is easy for women. Of course there are fuckboys and ... But from what I see, most of the men are not creeps or fuckboys. Most men are normal and worth talking to, even if they are not your type (which is fully understandable). And most men want to feel desired to. And that is a thing which is difficult to get for most women. From all the women I dated and had a relationship with, not even 10% ever complimented me, none did a first step. I had been in relations… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/05/23 08:08 AM |
| 1 | Do you think the environment has a big impact on dating norms and the longevity of relationships?Yes it does. I have various groups of friends and acquaintances and the dating norms are fully different: In one group, everyone married their first partner and the marriage go well. In another group, open relationship is the thing. Every second couple is open. In a last group, cheating is widespread and infidelity is not badly seen (at least privately). I think for the people being in just one group, they tend to mostly know one type of relationship and morality and base their relationship on i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/05/23 07:54 AM |
| 3 | Most guys who wish they could get into the casual sex lifestyle, couldn't handle that lifestyleI find your reason pretty stupid, sorry. I already had a few casual sex partners, half of them ended after the first night, it never made me feel bad due to one of the reason you mentioned. No the difficult thing in casual relationships is to not hurt the other emotionally. Some people get attached very quickly and I don't want to hurt the women I spend some good time with. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/05/23 07:49 AM |
| 1 | As a man, your perceived ability to get casual sex will define the tone of every long term relationship you haveAnd it isn't like if I went to a third world country. Even in other western countries it worked well | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/04/23 06:43 PM |
| 2 | As a man, your perceived ability to get casual sex will define the tone of every long term relationship you haveThe difference is ridiculously huge. I am the same person but perceived so differently because I have an accent and because I come from somewhere else. I immediately stand out and that is enough to create a good first impression and interest which I never had in my own country. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/04/23 09:42 AM |
| 6 | As a man, your perceived ability to get casual sex will define the tone of every long term relationship you haveThe no option is a reality to many people. At some point in my life, I was desperate and I asked my whole circle of friends, men and women, if they knew a woman who was into me. None of my friends could give me one name, even in the past years. And it isn't like if I was an uninteresting or awful person or with bad social skills. I have a great life but somehow it isn't enough. When I asked my friends if I had to change something about myself, if they could tell me what I could change to increas… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/04/23 09:33 AM |
| 2 | The Biggest Mistake When Looking At Sexual Marketplace Data On Men Is Looking At The Average/MedianStruggling to find a relationship is a different matter. Because it depends a lot on your requirements. You could be a top tier man or woman with a huge sex appeal, if you want a relationship with only a really tiny amount of people, it will be difficult to find them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/04/23 09:18 AM |
| 14 | The Biggest Mistake When Looking At Sexual Marketplace Data On Men Is Looking At The Average/MedianHahaha what a joke. My best friend has a really good looking face and he is somewhat fit. He is shy and never asked a woman out. Still everytime he goes out, women throw themselves at him. He can sleep with 5 women a week. You should see his Tinder account too. I am average, comfortable in my skin, I like women and I like sex... still I just got out of a 2 years dry spell despite going out, asking out, being on dating app... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/04/23 09:15 AM |
| 3 | As a man, your perceived ability to get casual sex will define the tone of every long term relationship you haveYou know that most women have no clue on how much casual sex you can get. I had my first kiss and girlfriend at 26 and since I have had long dry spells (up to 2 years). No woman I dated ever had an idea about my sentimental or sexual past. Several didn't believe me when si have told them because they think I am so great that it isn't possible I struggled so much. But the thing is, once a woman is into you, she usually will not get what is making you unattractive to most women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/04/23 09:03 AM |
| 10 | As a man, your perceived ability to get casual sex will define the tone of every long term relationship you haveHahaha not doing enough and not trying enough is what make people desperate and not confident ? Do you know what means being desperate? It us the opposite of not doing or trying enough. It is trying even when you know you have no chance of success, it is trying even when you know you are not compatible because you don't have options | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/04/23 08:55 AM |
| 1 | Women saying it's hard for them to find a man to 'commit' is pure hypocrisyWell I only partially agree on your weight is your responsibility. For some people it is true, for some others it isn't. I spent most of my adult life with a BMI of 18.5 while eating for 2 at the same time. Now with age I finally managed to take some weight and reach a BMI of 21 which is still skinny. Lifting didn't bring anything, after years at the gym, my arms are still way thinner than the arms of an average man my age, including untrained ones. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/04/23 05:15 PM |
| 1 | Women saying it's hard for them to find a man to 'commit' is pure hypocrisyYou know I guess I am a pretty well rounded man, but it still isn't necessarily that easy. And I had a Christian education and I guess that it was more a drawback in today's dating world than an advantage, even if I do agree that it gave me the basic for healthy relationships (which is useless if you can't get a relationship in the forst place) All my few relationships were pretty healthy, but that isn't helping in seducing a woman when not in a relationship. And about cheating, I disagree that … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/04/23 02:26 PM |
| 1 | Women saying it's hard for them to find a man to 'commit' is pure hypocrisyHahaha I fully disagree with your reasoning but god, such guys are stupid if they are accusing you of whatever. You have the right to do your own choices ans have your own standards, but you cannot blame most men to not pass it. What it is that women need in a relationship ? Because honestly I don't know what it is, and most of the time I asked this question, the answers could not be generalized, even on the most basic aspects. You know, I am 34, I am a respectful man, absolutely not overweight,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/04/23 02:01 PM |
| 1 | Women saying it's hard for them to find a man to 'commit' is pure hypocrisyI agree with you. But to come back on this: to take a look at your own flaws and why you yourself cant attract a relationship, this goes for both men and women That is the critical thing and that isn't easy to know what your flaws are, because your friends don't tell you, some because they don't know, and your dates usually don't tell you either... My dates were telling me that I was great but that they didn't feel the urge to kiss me or weren't attracted to me... and that are the only women I h… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/04/23 01:41 PM |
| 1 | Women saying it's hard for them to find a man to 'commit' is pure hypocrisyWell, I think the things need to be well said, otherwise it is only caricature. And it is true about men and women. Saying a woman can't find a man to commit may have two reasons: - no man wants to commit - the men who want to commit are not the ones you want to commit with. The first one implies that men are not serious about dating (which is partially true, some men aren't having setious intentions, some are even malicious about them) The second one implies that men in general aren't the issue… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/04/23 12:25 PM |
| 3 | Women saying it's hard for them to find a man to 'commit' is pure hypocrisyI think the point is not to change or do something, just to acknowledge that the issue isn't that you can't find a man willing to commit. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/04/23 07:35 AM |
| 1 | Women saying it's hard for them to find a man to 'commit' is pure hypocrisySo much generalization here. Of course having great social skills help. But that isn't the end of it to attract women. Have you ever had an average friend with good social skills who struggled with women. I have met a lot of them. Red pill men are not necessarily the bottom of the barrel. I am somewhat red pill myself even if I hate the misogynistic state of mind here. But I have to admit that it is indeed easier to attract women with a good look and status than by being yourself, even with good… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/04/23 07:32 AM |
| 2 | CMV : As a Man i believe using Game and Manipulation is immoral, but i believe u have to do it because otherwise u cant compete, and this is actually sad.Well, I fully agree with you now! But you have to admit that not everyone see respect in the same way. And that is the problem. For me sexualizing a woman was disrespectful in itself. And even now, many women would call it disrespectful. The same with uncaring (and I mean it in the courtship process not with a partner). You have to care less about what the person you face is thinking. That is the opposite of the way I was educated. I am still caring a lot about everyone, even the people I don't … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/04/23 06:12 AM |
| 1 | Women don't get that its not men complaining they can’t find a 10, but they can’t find 6 or 5 eitherYes but you forget that it became better with age as well. I was average looking when I was young, I am still average now that I am 34, maybe even below average. But I have way more successes with young women now that I had when I was younger, which isn't difficult since I had no success when I was young. I currently date a 23 years old. We have some shared values but I still don't get why she picked me among the thousands of guys she saw at university and on Tinder. I even live one hour away fr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/04/23 01:24 PM |
| 1 | CMV : As a Man i believe using Game and Manipulation is immoral, but i believe u have to do it because otherwise u cant compete, and this is actually sad.Well it depends who you ask. I have been educated with opposite values. For me being dominant, egoist and sexual was indeed bad. And still now, women complain frequently enough that men are too dominant, sexual, direct and aggressive... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/04/23 06:15 AM |
| 0 | CMV : As a Man i believe using Game and Manipulation is immoral, but i believe u have to do it because otherwise u cant compete, and this is actually sad.Example of less caring. Not caring what the person in front of you is thinking, if it is the right moment or not. That means you will probably disturb or annoy women who will not be open to you. Or not asking about her consent, eventually being somewhat pushy or less respectful. You have to get that many guys were educated about being very respectful, and they indeed are respectful. They are not putting their needs first, they are civilized, polite and respect others. They aren't approaching wom… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/04/23 06:09 AM |
| 2 | CMV : As a Man i believe using Game and Manipulation is immoral, but i believe u have to do it because otherwise u cant compete, and this is actually sad.No what? Is any story not ending in a marriage not worth living? Marriage is not a personal goal actually, finding a long term partner is one. I didn't insult that is true. But I did lie and manipulate by pretending I was experienced while I was still a kissless and virgin 26 years old. I as well was more pushy, not asking for consent at every single steps and pretty egoistic, all of these things not being what good minded people give as advice | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/23 03:47 PM |
| 2 | We don’t talk enough about the “Settle Down” woman enoughIf by catch you mean an intelligent, fun and successful man, having friends, hobbies and doing sports, then yes. But I don't look especially good and I am probably a 4 or 6/10 on the looks scale. So I would love to date on my level yes | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/23 03:05 PM |
| 1 | CMV : As a Man i believe using Game and Manipulation is immoral, but i believe u have to do it because otherwise u cant compete, and this is actually sad.Not yet, but it could have given one if we didn't have different long term goals which implied living on different continents | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/23 03:02 PM |
| 2 | Male vs female income in childless couplesVery true about sexual dismorphism. But I read a study not so long ago that was saying that the difference in height between partnered men and women was in average higher than what it should be just accounting for sexual dismorphism | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/23 02:57 PM |
| 1 | Q4Women How do you think men generally change themselves to find success in getting dates and keeping relationships?Yes but it forgets the annoying part. Meeting women is important it is true. But how you lead the interaction and how you behave is more important than the shear amount of women you meet if you don't have the good way of doing it. Because I grew up with the following message: be yourself, behave with women like with normal people and leave them alone if you don't spot a sign previously. And if one likes you, which will happen because you are great, you will know it. Obviously that didn't work at… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/23 01:59 PM |
| 1 | Since we live in artificial times why don't we implement artificial solutions? Make a dating app which allows women 50 swipes per day while men are only allowed 1 swipe per day.I had numbers from women in bars but it was always for platonic friendships. Apps are overrated but they kind of work. I never dated or had sex with a woman I met in a pub or I a club. I cannot impress a woman with my look, so in bars and pubs it is more complicated. I can say something specific about me and funny in my bio and on the 100s of single women seeing it, 1 or 2 may give me a chance. In a pub or a club, half of the women have a boyfriend, so half of the women I start talking with tell… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/23 01:27 PM |
| 1 | Q4Women How do you think men generally change themselves to find success in getting dates and keeping relationships?The thing is going out and talking to people isn't enough. In my most social years (university years and 2 of the 5 years I lived abroad), I didn't have any date, despite meeting a huge number of people and asking some women out | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/23 01:14 PM |
| 2 | Are most men here looking for short term relationships?Most single men are indeed looking for shirt term relationships. But that doesn't mean they are not looking for a long term relationship too. On my part, I am looking for short term but I am not really interested in hook-ups. But seeing someone regularly during 1-2 months, developing an intimacy and having good time beside sex is something I could like, even if there is no future. About n count. It is important for me, but I don't mind if someone has a body count of 20. 50-100 would annoy me mor… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/23 01:08 PM |
| 1 | What are some good standards men could have for women they date?General standards for a long term relationship: the woman: Communicate clearly Isn't lazy Takes care of herself (financially, about her health) My specific criteria: She is not superficial, She is somewhat fit, She doesn't smoke or consume drugs She has somewhat similar values to mine She lives not too far away She uses her brain | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/23 01:00 PM |
| 4 | CMV : As a Man i believe using Game and Manipulation is immoral, but i believe u have to do it because otherwise u cant compete, and this is actually sad.It gave me all this actually. Whereas just being a nice empathetic respectful and funny man was leading nowhere. I tried to date a woman since months but she was apparently not interested in me, she liked discussing with me but she didn't want anything else. One day I offered her to go to the cinema and she declined, saying she was too busy making her cat purr. This was another rejection and I was getting a bit angry at just being good for discussions. So I told if she wasn't soon letting me mak… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/23 12:54 PM |
| 0 | CMV : As a Man i believe using Game and Manipulation is immoral, but i believe u have to do it because otherwise u cant compete, and this is actually sad.The thing is it depends what you call savage. I know many women who prefer a man who is at least a bit savage (dominant, slightly aggressive, sexual, direct, egoist) over a guy who is just caring, not dominant, not trying to fuck you even before telling you hi... Even the nice woman usually prefer the guys who are a bit savage. And it took me years to realize it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/23 12:41 PM |
| 2 | CMV : As a Man i believe using Game and Manipulation is immoral, but i believe u have to do it because otherwise u cant compete, and this is actually sad.Actually I always was a very funny guy. But I only started having success with women while being a "savage" too. I want to say that being a savage doesn't mean being bad, but be more direct, sexual and less caring about your partner, which is the opposite of the education I got. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/23 12:38 PM |
| 3 | What is worse to you: getting no female attention whatsoever, or getting female attention from the worst, lowest women only?I am a hetero man, and I could tell you, the only attention I ever received in my life was from a drunk, stinky and crude 40 years old man. So it was not at all my type and no, I absolutely didn't want to have sex with him. Yet it made me feel good to have been validated. It was the first and only time someone expressed desire so directly and early in the interaction to me. And that meant, I am desirable. Which is a feeling I am not used to feel, since the best compliment I ever received from a … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/23 12:34 PM |
| 1 | CMV: Contrary to what most on here believe, it seems much harder for men to get a long-term relationship than to hook-up.This is so wrong. I don't look especially good and I was single for 10 years as an adult. Hook-ups is the most difficult to get for me, not impossible but I just had one every few years. Then the more you provide, the easier it becomes to get a relationship. I am a smart, successful, and caring man, finding a woman wanting a relationship with me is much easier than finding a woman who just wants to have sex with me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/23 12:27 PM |
| 3 | CMV: Contrary to what most on here believe, it seems much harder for men to get a long-term relationship than to hook-up.Well in my life, I was during 10 years single and I had a grand total of 2 hook-ups. Superficial things are not always easy to improve. If you don't have the right body type, height or face, it can become very difficult to improve sufficiently to get some hook-up easily | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/23 12:18 PM |
| 3 | Do very attractive men have a hard time respecting women because they know first hand how easy it is to get most woman to cheat with him?What do you call respecting women? My best friend is a successful 30 something hot and single man. He refused to sleep with married women for a long time. Now he accepts it... I could just tell you that many women cheated their partner with him. Even my ex girlfriend, who was a very serious woman, asked me seriously if she could sleep with him, or if we could have a threesome with him (but she didn't want it with any other guy). But the thing which annoys me the most is what the cheating women t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/23 12:15 PM |
| 1 | We don’t talk enough about the “Settle Down” woman enoughThe difference is that you still desire a cute partner. Not necessarily a safe one | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/23 12:00 PM |
| 1 | We don’t talk enough about the “Settle Down” woman enoughIf you knew. I guess plenty of man would gladly have a relationship with an average woman. But they don't even get a date. None of my girlfriends were hot or sexy, some were physically normal. Their look was not the reason why we did not marry. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/23 11:54 AM |
| 1 | "Insecure" led to an interesting conversation on gender and dating success.You know, I lived in various cities and in various countries. I have been just once in the situation in which I had to choose between 2 women. So even if it was somewhat easier in some other countries to get a match, it still stays pretty difficult to get a date from it | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/04/23 05:17 PM |
| 2 | "Insecure" led to an interesting conversation on gender and dating success.First we don't know OP's woman sexual past so I wouldn't see it as relevant here. I agree than looking for perfection isn't the good thing to do. But I would put my hand in the fire, that finding a good candidate among a 100 matches is easier and preferable to finding a good candidate among 7. I know many men are utter shit. But not 99% of them. And that is where I disagree with you. First you only get 100 matches if you choose it, if you continue to swipe when you already have 5, 10 or 50 match… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/04/23 05:13 PM |
| 3 | "Insecure" led to an interesting conversation on gender and dating success.So maybe we need to define desirable and undesirable but even the best looking guy on earth may be rejected by more than 50% of the women, first all of them aren't single or looking for something, then not all women have exactly the same desire. My best friend is having a really incredible amount of success with women, but he is still rejected by more than 50% of the women. I think you have some troubles to imagine how picky women can be. In average a man on a dating app is matching 2% on the wo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/04/23 04:53 PM |
| 1 | CMV: Approaching Tons of Women as a strategy to not be alone will always workNot only dumb. I think a caring and respectful person will as well approach much less than a guy who doesn't care about anything else than his desire. For example, I don't ask my best female friends if they want to sleep with me, because they have a boyfriend. Or I don't start a conversation with people im the train anymore, because 95% of them wear headphones. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/04/23 02:20 PM |
| 3 | CMV: Approaching Tons of Women as a strategy to not be alone will always workIt is not 3 random people. It is 3 women you think are attractive, compatible and single. And I don't see 3 women like that each day. I would say that most weeks I interact with more or less 3 potentially single women who are attractive. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/04/23 02:15 PM |
| 2 | "Insecure" led to an interesting conversation on gender and dating success.Just to say something somewhat relevant. It made me feel pretty good when, at a music festival, a gay guy asked me to go to his place and take a shower with him. He was drunk and all... but still, for someone who is definitely not used to receive compliments, it still made me feel good and won some self confidence. And to come back on dating app. How do you know that your options are not compatible? You need to take some time for most of them to assess this compatibility, something which doesn't… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/04/23 02:00 PM |
| 3 | "Insecure" led to an interesting conversation on gender and dating success.Most of the time, the issue is not that men don't like meeting women in real life. The real issues are where to meet women, how to approach them, how to know if they are single and share similar values and lifestyle, how to seduce them. I didn't date many women I met in real life, and it wasn't because I didn't meet any or because I wasn't interested in them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/04/23 01:56 PM |
| 3 | "Insecure" led to an interesting conversation on gender and dating success.Honestly I respectuously disagree. I saw my female friends swipe on men and chat with their matches... there were a good amounts of quality guys there. One of them had 25 good first dates with great guys she met online over a year. But she acknowledged herself that she wanted perfection and not just a good guy. Plus between a third and half of the women on dating app are open to casual, short term or hook-ups. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/04/23 01:52 PM |
| 3 | "Insecure" led to an interesting conversation on gender and dating success.A person who is actively getting rejected by majority of people have something unattractive about them. Then all men are unattractive. I don't know a single guy that 50% of the women find attractive | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/04/23 01:45 PM |
| 4 | "Insecure" led to an interesting conversation on gender and dating success.To put a bit of perspective in it. Having a very good profile for a man can still result in no or few incoming likes or matchs... even with good pictures, bio... just have a look on the subs where guys are asking for help. I was in that case, I asked for a review on another sub and most people told me I had a great profile, some said among the best 25% to 10% of the profiles they see. In the end, I received 4 contacts from single women from this post and that was more than during weeks on OLD. I… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/04/23 01:42 PM |
| 3 | CMV: The absence of celibate life paths kind of sucks.Why? Never in history you have been so much bombarded with messages about love and sex, in tv, music, radio, internet... Even politics is fully oriented towards marriage and children. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/04/23 07:44 AM |
| 1 | The majority of younger women (18-24) are NOT attracted to old men 30+This is probably true. The majority of young women are not looking for a relationship with a big age gap. It doesn't that it do not happen. I am an average guy, mid 30s, not especially physically attractive imo and I always had troubles to date. I was single in the last 3 years and my only 3 partners in that time frame were women below 24. One of them was a hook-up, and one a sex friend. I am actually not looking solely to date young women, I would prefer to have a woman my age or 2-3 years youn… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/23 02:30 PM |
| 1 | Men, do you genuinely like/liked your female partner?I liked all the women I dated for more than a few dates, and even with my 2 sex friends, it was never just sex. Respect and communication is always there from the start. Actually I lost respect for 2 women I dated. One really early in the dating process when she told me something I found very unempathetic. So the date stopped there. The other one was my first long relationship who cheated on me, lied and still continued to play with me. I never saw her again, I don't want her any harm but for me… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/04/23 10:34 AM |
| 1 | The problem with dating isn't women being hypergamous, it's men (trying) to be polygamousHahaha because all data you have on dating or relationship is either anecdotal or rejected when it doesn't please the person reading it... welcome to social sciences. So you can say whatever you want, I believed for a long time that men usually were assholes in their relationship, now I experienced that in reality things aren't that black and white. I met enough women, friends, flatmates, girlfriends, girlfriends of friends, acquaintances who cheated to know that it isn't a rarity. That doesn't … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/23 12:41 PM |
| 1 | The problem with dating isn't women being hypergamous, it's men (trying) to be polygamousThere is some truth on your message. Many men on dating app are already in a relationship and just want to hook-up. Many of my female friends told me that they figured put some guy they dated was in the end married or had a partner. My best friend is a good looking man in his 30s. He could sleep with 4 women a week, all of them knowing that he sleeps with others. That annoys most of them but they still date and sleep with him. But many women as well are not that faithful. I know quite some women… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/23 12:33 PM |
| 1 | A lot of the toxicity around pill spheres has to do with missing out on young love and stunted social development as a resultWell, in my country, the average age for first sex is between 16 and 17 years old. So yes, having sex for the first time after 25 is concerning just a few % of the population. And I think the dynamics for men and women is totally different. I had various period of time in my life (in total it lasted several years) in which I was not looking for a partner. But I never met a partner or even had one date or even a flirt in that time frame. Because most women are not asking out men or flirting with … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/23 12:18 PM |
| 1 | A lot of the toxicity around pill spheres has to do with missing out on young love and stunted social development as a resultExcuse me but if I agree with a good part of your message, I think that it has its limits. Would you say to a poor person, suffering from hunger or cold that happiness is their responsibility? Or to a bullied kid, or to a person who is harassed? To a person frustrated by racism or sexism? Society has a responsibility in the happiness of the people living in it. That doesn't mean that people should take no responsibility it their own situation. Of course not. I did plenty of things to be happy on… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/23 08:46 AM |
| 0 | A lot of the toxicity around pill spheres has to do with missing out on young love and stunted social development as a resultGood then I am a normal man. Earth to men - women get rejected too. Sometimes quite cruelly. Yes of course, I am not saying anyone never gets rejected. But you have to understand that being rejected constantly during years will probably impact you deeply, especially if you have never been validated as a potential sexual or romantic partner, not even receiving a single compliment on your attractiveness And as you say some people are cruel and some treat others not as humans. And that is as much t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/23 02:29 PM |
| 1 | A lot of the toxicity around pill spheres has to do with missing out on young love and stunted social development as a resultI’m saying not having a romantic partner doesn’t mean you have to be devastatingly lonely to the point you’re contemplating death. It doesn't mean you have to be suicidal. But it could lead to it despite having a loving family and circle of friends. I had a loving family and a circle of friends. I ended up nonetheless doing a depression with suicidal ideation because I was rejected continuously without knowing what was wrong with me. The only reason I didn't kill myself at that time was because … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/23 01:02 PM |
| 0 | A lot of the toxicity around pill spheres has to do with missing out on young love and stunted social development as a resultBut cuddling with someone is not sexual. But it isn't usually something you share with a friend, why, because most people got this needs coveted by their partner | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/23 11:50 AM |
| 2 | A lot of the toxicity around pill spheres has to do with missing out on young love and stunted social development as a resultI don't know what you call a normal man. And I think it is very different for most women. First most women could have had sex or a boyfriend earlier if they wanted it. At least they usually receive feedbacks from meaning they are attractive. As a man who, despite trying, never had a kiss, sex or a girlfriend until I was 26, I can tell you that it destroyed a part of me. Not just because I never had sex or a girlfriend, but because I was rejected and I didn't get why, and I started doubting mysel… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/23 10:50 AM |
| 1 | A lot of the toxicity around pill spheres has to do with missing out on young love and stunted social development as a resultI mostly agree with you up to a certain point. There are still plenty of ways to get your emotional intimacy needs met It depends which emotional intimacy. I for example feel much better with long cuddling session. And I only had this need fulfilled via romantic or sexual partners, never by friends or family. And this is not solely for guys. I heard a partner telling me how she was having a sex friend, but was more looking to cuddle with him than having sex | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/23 10:41 AM |
| 3 | Theory: The effectiveness of finding a niche when it comes to datingThere is a good amount of truth in it. I played the guitar during 10 years. Several friends as well. None of us ever got one girl due to it. None of us were easily getting girl actually, and playing more or less well the guitar didn't change anything about it. Yet it was still great to play together or with others during parties. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/23 01:50 PM |
| 1 | Here are my dating hot takes. What are yours?As a tall and lean man with a not especially good face, I can tell you that you downplay a lot the importance of face. I would rather be shorter with a good looking face. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/23 01:31 PM |
| 1 | Here are my dating hot takes. What are yours?It was my surprise to realize that women who do not want to go fast tell it when you try, and don't judge you for trying since most men do. But women who are up to go fast won't express that you can go faster. They will just loose interest. So I hate it but now I am much more quick to become physical than earlier when I waited to ne sure that the woman was comfortable with it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/23 01:25 PM |
| 2 | Here are my dating hot takes. What are yours?That is interesting. I have been single until I was 26, I never had a kiss nor sex, and I never had the feeling a woman was romantically or sexually into me. I never had a compliment, I never have been flirting with and all of my attempts at dating were rejected. I as well only tried with women who I thought were a good match for a relationship. But in the end it never worked. I did a depression, saw a therapist, and got out but still saw myself as undateable because unattractive. So when for th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/23 01:19 PM |
| 2 | Here are my dating hot takes. What are yours?they're just looking for a warm hole to use, which is probably why they're not successful with women If that was the reason, many successful guys would never have sex. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/23 01:07 PM |
| 1 | Here are my dating hot takes. What are yours?I don't think that is especially true. I know women who can't stay single. They get with the first guy they find when they are single. And single women still have the possibility to have a fulfilling sex life if they want. That is not the case for most men | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/23 01:03 PM |
| 1 | Why do so many men here obsess over that some men get women more easily than them?So my guy, you don't know me. I worked on that topic since almost 10 years, so I tried to change those things. In the end, we don't even know if they are important things for me since the difference between my dating life now and before aren't that big. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/23 02:12 PM |
| 1 | Why do so many men here obsess over that some men get women more easily than them?First I thought I was ugly, then I thought it was a confidence thing, sometimes that I am just too respectful with women, sometimes I think it is just bad luck... The only female friend who had a potentially good reason about why it was so tough for me said: you are one of the best person I know but you are not hot, not exciting, too safe. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/23 01:44 PM |
| 2 | CMV: Beauty Standards For Women Are A MythI think there are 2 different types of men. The ones looking for the most physically attractive women, and the ones looking for a woman they find attractive but with an amazing personality. All my friends are in the 2nd category. Even my best friend who had a huge success with women rarely dates very attractive women because most are boring. On the contrary, the women he was in a relationship with were closer to average than to the 2 models he dated and dropped after a few dates. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/23 01:40 PM |
| 1 | Why do so many men here obsess over that some men get women more easily than them?Knowing that others can get women more easily than me never was an issue for me. I am not into competition and I am more into quality than quantity. What bothered me was that I had still not ever had a kiss at 25 and had no clue on the reason of it What still bothers me is why so many of my friends, men and women, tell me I am a catch and that I still could need years to meet a woman who is romantically or sexually interested in me | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/23 01:25 PM |
| 1 | Talking to women "as people" first usually gets the guy friendzonedI have no idea what a KHV or wizardchan is, can you please explain thiese words XD I had my first kiss at 26, and since that 2 serious relationships and a few casual ones. But all of them were either long distance, or with strangers and all of them with women who didn't had a job. So I had way more adult years without any sexual or romantic partner than successful years in these domains, despite being a successful man in the other domains of my life and "a catch" according to my male and female … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/03/23 07:59 PM |
| 2 | CMV: Most men who sleep with a lot of women are not chads they just have better social skillsI had troubles to date and so I asked several of my best friends, men and women, how they perceived me. All of them could not get that I was not able to find a girlfriend. They gave me many compliments and all mentioned my kindness, my emotional and logical intelligence and the fact that I am funny and that I would be a good husband and a great father. My therapist told me the same by the way. I do agree that communication differs between men and women and between people. Now honestly, being kin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/03/23 05:32 PM |
| 1 | Talking to women "as people" first usually gets the guy friendzonedAnd so, you would like that every second single man tried directly to flirt with you without knowing you, in a more or less subtle way? Because as a man, I found half of the women physically attractive. So I don't flirt with women before knowing them better. First because most ate actuzlly uninteresting (except physically). And then because I always heard many women complain about all the guys just trying to get in their pants, not trying to get to know them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/03/23 05:24 PM |
| 1 | Talking to women "as people" first usually gets the guy friendzonedSeriously, these subtle hints are a joke. First they are sometimes not subtle (my best friend is good looking, many women who are into him are making it pretty obvious for everyone), and sometimes what could be hints is as well normal people interactions (I can't tell you how many times me and my friends, men and women, thought a woman was into me or someone else to discover later that no, she was just interested in friendship). For me, everyone would win if women were less into subtle hints and… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/03/23 05:10 PM |
| 3 | This guy basically breaks down how harem works and why 63% of men under 30 are singleThese guys were assholes yes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/03/23 04:38 PM |
| 2 | CMV: Most men who sleep with a lot of women are not chads they just have better social skillsI definitely disagree on this. I have seen enough people who thought they were ugly as sin who managed to get plenty of women (because they looked good), while others thought they were sexy and never got anything (because what they thought was sexy was actually ridiculous). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/03/23 02:08 PM |
| 3 | CMV: Most men who sleep with a lot of women are not chads they just have better social skillsI do believe that some women put a lot of value on kindness, humour and emotional intelligence... but seriously, I am all this and I have many other qualities... And I can tell you that all of those qualities are disregarded by most women when they have to choose who they date or who they want to spend the night with. Sadly, I had more success with women by playing the selfish guy quickly going towards sex than by being myself. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/03/23 01:25 PM |
| 1 | CMV: Most men who sleep with a lot of women are not chads they just have better social skillsYou are not a Chad but you still probably are much better looking than the average dude. At least if what you call decent is what I would call high. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/03/23 01:20 PM |
| 5 | CMV: Most men who sleep with a lot of women are not chads they just have better social skillsWhat you say is true, a perfect 6 is on paar with a boring 8. But seriously, how many people have or could achieve the charisma and confidence of your guy? Most of the time, you are born with it. A normal guy, with normal social skills, not boring or weird or unsocial would never have close to a chance to get this level of charisma. And I tell you this as someone who had quite some charisma in high-school... I never got a girl due to it, even if I was invited, if everyone laughed at my jokes and… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/03/23 01:18 PM |
| 3 | Everyone man should make a dating profile as a moderately attractive Woman and see how you feel. You can see how desperate some men seem..So I don't meet people expecting a romance. But I am in my 30s, not at university and my job is about 90% men. So I mostly meet women through friends or activities. And I regularly click with people, but not on a romantic or sexual way. All in all, I never had a single date from women I met through friends, and I had 2 dates with women I met from activities in my whole life. The thing is, even for activities it gets more complex. A local meet-up app is clearly stating that flirting or looking fo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/03/23 01:08 PM |
| 3 | "The Hoe Phase"I know good looking men who definitely fuck 5 women. As long as she passes the look threshold, she is good for sex... and I get it. Even for casual, I would definitely prefer a 5 woman with a great personality than a 10 with an awful personality... of course a 10 with a great personality would be better | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/03/23 12:58 PM |
| 0 | This guy basically breaks down how harem works and why 63% of men under 30 are singleWell I don't know how common it is. But one of my friends is seeing the 4 same girls since months, they all are aware that he sees others and 2 of them don't see anyone else. And it is not unheard as well that my female friends say that the guy they dated during the last 2-3 months is actually married, having a girlfriend or not exclusive but never told them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/03/23 12:49 PM |
| 3 | Everyone man should make a dating profile as a moderately attractive Woman and see how you feel. You can see how desperate some men seem..If you knew, one friend showed me her Tinder profile without much of a bio and without pictures, and she still had way more likes than me, and better convos | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/03/23 12:43 PM |
| 2 | Everyone man should make a dating profile as a moderately attractive Woman and see how you feel. You can see how desperate some men seem..The issue is when you are unattractive, maybe one woman out of 50 will find you attractive due to your personality. And showing your great personality to 50 single women can take a lot of time and energy (at least for me, as a man in my 30s, I am lucky when I have a great chat with 20 new women I meet in a year, not necessarily single ones) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/03/23 12:42 PM |
| 3 | How Heterosexual Couples Meet, data through 2021 (Stanford)it doesn't matter how frequently you right swipe if you receive close to no incoming likes The situation really isn't the same when you receive 10 likes a day or 10 likes a year. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/03/23 12:36 PM |
| 1 | Talking to women "as people" first usually gets the guy friendzonedThat doesn't match at all my experience. I never had a friend or an acquaintance who suddenly became attracted to me after establishing a friendship. And it is the same with dates who wants to take things slowly (I mean more kiss and physical touch than sex). Talking about deeper topic, having a strong connection beforehand never resulted in anything other than platonic friendship. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/03/23 12:30 PM |
| 1 | Talking to women "as people" first usually gets the guy friendzonedGood answer, what do you call making it explicitly known ? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/03/23 12:14 PM |
| 2 | Talking to women "as people" first usually gets the guy friendzonedMen who have most or all of the things I've stated (intelligence, social awareness, a talent, interesting hobbies) have more romantic and sexual success than men who don't. Certainly. But such men could as well have no success at all. I am one of such men, and let me tell you that these qualities don't mean women will be attracted to you | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/03/23 12:11 PM |
| 3 | What would happen if women lowered their standards?I don't think lowering your standards always mean settling in the end. Just take the amount of women who swiped left on the profile of their future boyfriend, who she then later met in real life. I think some standards are trying to get the ideal prince charming, without realizing that those standards wouldn't necessarily make you feel good. Because the difference between someone who is 6' or 5'9 is not what will make a relationship go from awesome to awful I never heard my mother, my aunts or m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/23 04:21 PM |
| 1 | Do women really want commitment?No it is not all about looks when speaking about relationships. Not for women and not for men. But for sure, looks is helping a lot for relationships, and even more for casual sex | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/23 01:37 PM |
| 1 | Daily Community Chat MegathreadI cannot say for arts but I feel it is true in many domains. Women perform in average better in many not mostly physical tasks... but the best performers are usually men. And you are right, because men takes more risks. Just look at the risks men take professionally in comparison with most women. They resign more easily, ask for higher salaries without necessarily having higher competences... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/23 09:53 AM |
| 3 | Do women really want commitment?Man, just come back to reality. Not everything is about looks, even if it stays an important factor. My best friend is a good looking guy, he has 1000s of Tinder likes, but all of his relationships were with what I would call average women in terms of looks. Sure he slept with models, but he never wanted a relationship with them, he preferred sone intellectual compatibility | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/23 09:43 AM |
| 4 | Where is the useful, or practical, dating advice?I disagree. The people knowing me the best have no good advice regarding dating because we never experienced the same dating situations: many never dated and directly entered in a relationship between 18 and 24, they basically never have been single in their 30s many female friends can't tell why I am struggling because I would do a great husband and father my best friend is single and good looking. He doesn't need to do anything to get women. Worse, when he told me a woman is into me, she is ju… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/23 09:28 AM |
| 1 | Do women actually approach men if they truly like them?Yes they do. Sometimes they are pretty direct about it. A male friend of mine never asked a woman out and he never had been celibate longer than 3 months. Some women quite directly hinted they wanted to sleep with him... yes he looks good. On the other hand, as a 34 years old man, no woman ever approached me with clear romantic or sexual intentions. And most of the ones who approached me with unclear intentions just wanted friendship. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/23 08:55 AM |
| 1 | How to get over how easy it is for women to have sex?I was believing this for a long time and I realized that no, a high number women are not against casual dating. I checked on Tinder, Bumble and OKCupid, and a good third of the profiles are not solely looking for a relationship at the moment I checked. And this is basically the same for my female friends, who are in their 30s and have been single during sone amount of time in their last 10 years. None of them always solely looked for relationships. Many looked mostly for relationships but had on… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/23 07:23 AM |
| 5 | In all seriousness, Men what do you want from women in regards to solving the modern dating problems ?I really don't like how caricatural your post is and how exaggerated it is. But my answer to your title: I think men need to get positive comments regarding dating and their looks and not just negative ones. I realized that women very rarely compliment men on their look or sex appeal. even when these men are safe (good friend, date, partner...). And that affects men who struggle with dating because they can't build self confidence that they are attractive for some women. I believed for a long ti… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/23 08:56 AM |
| 3 | I hate to say it but a lot of the ideas you have about finding partners and relationships is the result of being chronically onlineYes, you are right, I should have precised 95% of my age +/- 5 years. I wouldn't have wanted the 78 years old women for sure, nor the homeless. But even above my age or under my age, there were still countless women I would have liked to have sex with. I have to precise that this situation never was my normal situation, but when I felt at the same time super horny and deeply deprived of intimacy with someone else, when mid 20s, I was still not having had any kiss, and I was felt partly ostracize… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/23 01:16 PM |
| 6 | I hate to say it but a lot of the ideas you have about finding partners and relationships is the result of being chronically onlineI already asked myself this question years ago and I honestly don't think I am neuro divergent | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/23 11:34 AM |
| 3 | I hate to say it but a lot of the ideas you have about finding partners and relationships is the result of being chronically onlineInteresting I was as well bullied in school and violently assaulted once at 17 since that I am more cautious with men I don't know (depending on the social settings of course). But I went to therapy for it already. So now I ask most women out on dating apps. I actually don't like to hit on random women, and most of the single women I know in my circle of friends are not into me (it never happened that a friend or a friend of friends was into me). I am planning to ask out one of this friend of a … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/23 11:33 AM |
| 11 | I hate to say it but a lot of the ideas you have about finding partners and relationships is the result of being chronically onlineFor me whole thing about confidence is at the same time very true and useless. I have successful my whole life in my academic and professional life, I am naturally confident there. But how do you want to be confident about dating if you have always been unsuccessful. Or even mostly. It is a number game for sure, but when your odds are low, it is hard to be confident that you will be successful at a specific date. For myself, I am confident about finding a relationship on the long term because I … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/23 10:42 AM |
| 12 | I hate to say it but a lot of the ideas you have about finding partners and relationships is the result of being chronically onlineYou could be Adonis himself but if you're desperate, that's a no go for any woman. And about this. My best male friend is good looking and not even an Adonis and I can tell you, you greatly underweight the importance of looks for some women. I have seen this with my friend: for some women who found him hot, it didn't matter that he was desperate, shy, depressive, that he told them he had a girlfriend, that he wasn't interested or even that some of these women were married... they did everything … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/23 10:14 AM |
| 22 | I hate to say it but a lot of the ideas you have about finding partners and relationships is the result of being chronically onlineYour last paragraph says it all. You refuse to believe it and if it doesn't work, the guy certainly has shortcoming or is desperate or has an inflated self worth. About me: I was the kind of romantic guy who grew up in a religious environment even if I am atheist. From my upbringing, I have values such as being always respectful, polite and cating about others and that is one of the reasons why I easily make male and female friends. In addition to this, I searched mostly a long term girlfriend w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/23 10:05 AM |
| 16 | I hate to say it but a lot of the ideas you have about finding partners and relationships is the result of being chronically onlineI see so many guys here say how they can't get sex and want 10/10 Stacy. I am not saying that some guys aren't like this, but imo, it is very far away from the majority. I have been in the situation in my life in which I would have accepted to have sex with 95% of the women if they wanted me. But I just couldn't find one wanting me during years. And I am not an ugly cave troll, I have male and female friends and go out sometimes very frequently, some times once or twice a week. And I am not an e… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/23 09:04 AM |
| 1 | Western Women, how much of a turn on is it for you if a guy is rich?Of course, but it is really a pity because you can be a great guy and have no success with women... it doesn't they dont deserve a good woman... but it sometimes never happens | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/23 09:08 PM |
| 1 | Western Women, how much of a turn on is it for you if a guy is rich?Honestly I wish money had less importance. One of my good friends is disabled. When his father died, he used the inheritance to buy a luxury car. The reaction from men and women without and with his luxury car were night and day. Before he was seen as an unlucky guy and was undateable. People looked at him with pity. Afterwards, he was seen as a successful guy and many people were apparently envious of his situation. And some women ran after him, even just for casual dating. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/23 02:37 PM |
| 1 | Aside from "Women's standards are too high or No more good men" Why do you think YOUR single?Why am I single? Most of the time I try dating, it does not work. I have one or two dates with a woman who then tells me she doesn't know what she wants or doesn't feel attraction. In the last years, there are always 3-6 months when I know why I am single: because at that moment I stop trying, because I feel bad about dating or because I am too busy to date. Undirect reasons: I grew up in a traditional mindset. Love and marriage were good, sex wasn't. As I was a good man, I tried to follow these… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/23 12:58 PM |
| 4 | If she’s into you, it’s painfully obvious. If it’s ambiguous, you’re an option at best whether she’ll admit it or notThey'll usually just bluntly tell you you're attractive when they like you. Not even close. Most of the women I dated, most of my girlfriends or even sex friends I saw during months never said that they found me attractive. Men rarely get complimented | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/23 10:38 AM |
| 2 | Where have all the good men gone?So I don't live in the US but in Europe. But I believe I am a good man in my 30s. I focused on my studies until 23 after which I started working as a research engineer in a top laboratory. I as well always did some sport, had good friends, went out, had good relationships with everyone, was always respectful and ready to help. I am financially independent, landed a good job, would do a great father (according to my friends who have kids) and am frequently described as the only good man my few da… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/23 10:30 AM |
| 2 | You should "choose better" aswellIt depends what you call sexual intimacy. Just having sex, like with a hooker, would not bring me anything. I can masturbate instead. But I am a very physical person and I need to feel wanted, desired, loved... my best evening with a partner is cuddling and having sex and cuddling again. I don't need a TV or video games, I live very well without. But without physical intimacy, my life is not as good as it could be. And no, close friends are not at all fulfilling the same needs, I have some very … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/23 06:33 PM |
| 1 | You should "choose better" aswellWhat is initiating a romantic interaction? Starting a conversation? My female friends are not hot, they have a decent BMI, but are not especially gifted with a great looking face or body, and they don't use much make-up. But some may have been lucky. My best friend, for example, is married to the only man she asked out (and it was indirectly through common friends). But one factor is that most of my friends are not bringing the relationship question early on. They regularly go home with guys wit… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/23 03:38 PM |
| 1 | 60% of young men are not chronically single because they "lack emotional skills"Yes, there are some data https://fr.aleteia.org/2018/03/01/le-mariage-en-chiffres/ | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/23 03:21 PM |
| 1 | 60% of young men are not chronically single because they "lack emotional skills"In my country, only 35% of the people declares a religion. Most educated people here aren't religious and people who aren't religious tend to marry less. It is even more true for younger generations. All of my family, parents, uncles aunts, older cousins got married. But no cousin or siblings or friends under 35 is married. It is frequent to have kids without marriage. For religious immigrants and lower classes, marrying is still a tradition you have (and want) to do. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/23 02:45 PM |
| 1 | 60% of young men are not chronically single because they "lack emotional skills"It is funny, I don't live in the US and in my country that is the opposite. The more educated the people are, the less they marry. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/23 02:31 PM |
| 1 | 60% of young men are not chronically single because they "lack emotional skills"Hum no, I don't get why you think that because we have the same opinion apparently | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/23 02:27 PM |
| 1 | 60% of young men are not chronically single because they "lack emotional skills"To become single mom, most of them had a relationship. I think that is the opposite actually. Marriage rate are lower for the higher social classes | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/23 02:14 PM |
| 1 | You should "choose better" aswellOk potentially you have been rejected more than a guy who never asked anyone out, or than a super hot dude. Sure! Eventually you have some disability, which could explain it, or you are dating women. In that case, yes rejection are very frequent: my lesbian and bi friends all agree on this. Because all my female friends rarely get rejected when trying to get a single man (of course rejection happens more frequently when the guys are taken). Even women who were not especially attractive had a muc… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/23 02:13 PM |
| 1 | 60% of young men are not chronically single because they "lack emotional skills"Yes what you say is partly true. But it is not without reason that the women with the highest education and highest salary are the ones who stay single the most. Many don't want to settle. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/23 02:05 PM |
| 1 | 60% of young men are not chronically single because they "lack emotional skills"Yes it is true for men too. But saying to guys who have troubles to date to get a better education or income will not make them much better to date women with their education or income... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/23 01:35 PM |
| 1 | You should "choose better" aswellI certainly don't think you have been rejected as much as a guy, at least as much as a guy like me. So you would say to someone who has a shitty job to feed that it is his fault if he chose it, he could have chosen to be homeless instead. Maybe it was the best option this person had when the choice was there | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/23 01:33 PM |
| 5 | You should "choose better" aswellOhhh I thought most of my life it was a me problem. But I guess being nice or not nice isn't the issue. Or I was potentially too nice in the past (not a nice guy but a guy who likes to help everyone, without second thoughts) I have enough good friends, men and women, who tell me they don't get it to understand that it is not just a me problem. Because my friends think I am fine. For example, my best female friend sent me the following message 2 months ago, after I complained a bit for staying si… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/23 01:27 PM |
| 3 | Daily Community Chat MegathreadNo cheating woman. If she wants to have sex on the side, we could discuss it and find an agreement. If the asexual woman is not bothered if I see someone else I could get in a committed relationship with her. Otherwise I would rather stay single. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/23 12:53 PM |
| 9 | You should "choose better" aswellThis is making me laugh. Just speaking with all my female friends, not only about dating apps but facebook, instagram, snapchat and social circles, most of them have guys around who are interested in them, most of the guys just for sex of course but not all of them. When I splitted with my ex on good terms, she told me that she was afraid she would never meet someone again, she was shy, not sexy, not using social media or dating app, and not going out much. After she said in her dance group that… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/23 12:37 PM |
| 4 | You should "choose better" aswellDid you ask people out? Do you know how many rejections a man can get? So you have 2 strategies here: ask out a lot of women on purely physical criteria, or take the time to get to know a woman begore asking her out. Only the second one ever worked for me, and just one time. To do an analogy. You are unemployed. Are you applying only to your dream job or are you applying to every job which could provide you your basic needs? And how do you react when your first 50 applications are rejected ? Do … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/23 12:29 PM |
| 5 | You should "choose better" aswellWhat was the longest time you were alone, without kisses, without sex, without intimacy...? I did 8 years in a row. Believe me, at some point you are just so happy to have someone willing to be at your side that you disregard many things you wouldn't have disregarded if you had the choice or if you just had no intimacy since 3 months... Some people have no clue what crosding the desert means. And my point would be the same for a woman who spent years being rejected and suffered from it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/23 12:23 PM |
| 2 | You should "choose better" aswellYou just have no clue of what you are talking about. I never got a date with a woman who was older than me. Even putting dating app age to 99 years, the amount of women liking me is not increasing. Even liking women with handicap or flirting with them is frequently leading to rejection. And even unattractive women are difficult to date (the last one I dated was a great person and at the time I met her, I wished I just had 10% of her dating life) Now, being in my mid 30s and still having troubles… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/23 12:18 PM |
| 1 | 60% of young men are not chronically single because they "lack emotional skills"Important takes. women with high income are usually having higher expectations on looks too https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/09/150916162912.htm | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/23 12:03 PM |
| 1 | Why isn't the plight of unattractive women ever talked about?Yes ugly women exist to men. But they are usually not attractive to them. People who can't find the kind of relationships they want have my sympathy. So a woman, unattractive or not, will have my sympathy if she is looking for a relationship and not finding one. There are just one step further than an unattractive man. If they want sex, they can have it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/23 01:43 PM |
| 3 | Daily Community Chat MegathreadI am not from the US. What does it mean exactly to objectify someone? I hear it is treating him/her as an object, to not care about his/her feeling... that seems good to me. But I regularly see post saying xyz behavior/sentence is objectifying, whereas I would just see it as a qualificative or a preference? For example, I heard that a guy saying to a black lady he dated that he loved dating black women because xyz that he was objectifying them. Is really such a behavior objectifying? Then, is ch… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/23 09:39 AM |
| – | CMV : Yes todays women are delusional, but men are too.Looks are very very important, true. But honestly, it doesn't make up everything. I am not an attractive man, I have troubles to date. But some of the women I dated were pretty attractive. Your look just need to pass the threshold of the woman in front of you. It isn't necessarily easy or frequently happening but every women has a slightly different one, some have completely different things they find attractive. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/23 09:10 AM |
| – | Daily Community Chat MegathreadI probably was doing something wrong. First I don't think I am especially attractive (which is a big factor in parties. Few of my male friends managed to get girls at parties or clubs. And the ones who did were usually the best looking ones) Then, I was pretty respectful of others and I wasn't very pushy or insisting when a woman wasn't reciprocating my first steps. Oh and I am clueless about signs (but I am seeing them clearly for my friends). But even when my friends spotted signs for me, the … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/03/23 04:07 PM |
| – | Daily Community Chat MegathreadWhat you say is true but sometimes limited. I saw a study a few months ago. Women were rating the attractiveness of men's face. The men were taken in pictures before and after being applied make up by a professional. The face with make up were in average 2% more attractive than without make up. Who would put the effort of a professional make up artist to gain 2% of attractiveness? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/03/23 03:58 PM |
| – | Daily Community Chat MegathreadIt is kind of true. The issue being, what is being sexy as a man? In my whole life, I can count on one hand the amount of feedbacks I got saying I was sexy and one of them was for something most people I know were labeling as unsexy. I had girlfriends, sex friends and most of them never gave me one compliment. And my case isn't an exception. Once a friend of a friend was speaking about one of her colleagues that she found hot. At some point I realized the guy she is talking is a good friend of m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/03/23 03:54 PM |
| – | Daily Community Chat MegathreadA handsome face is not easy to work on depending on your features. If you have a weak chin, a hollow and asymmetrical face, no amount of moisturizer will make your face handsome. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/03/23 03:38 PM |
| – | Daily Community Chat MegathreadI was going to clubs and parties for a few years when I was young, and I was drinking but never got drunk. I stopped the clubs and most parties because I was tired of having to care about the drunk guys and girls of my circle of friends... and it never gave me any date or anything. I was fully able to discuss with new women and I even got some numbers, but it was always solely for friendship or to know if my good looking friend was single | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/03/23 03:30 PM |
| 2 | Most men would have no issues dating if they had a lifestyle that allowed them to organically meet women.I think your title is just plain wrong. "Most men not organically meeting women would have less issues dating" would be 100% right. I went to university during 7 years, worked in various companies, have group hobbies and frequently go out with friends. I am 34 and just dated 1 women I met in real life (I met her at 27). This is despite having lived only 5 years in relationships. I always had plenty of female friends but I never had a friend or a friend of a friend, which I know was into me. So t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/23 02:47 PM |
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