TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

croyab Archive

View 3 posts and 17 comments by croyab on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
21

croyab/r/Divorce_Men23/11/19 09:45 PM
16

croyab/r/Divorce_Men20/10/19 01:16 AM
13

croyab/r/Divorce_Men28/12/19 02:02 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
-1

Have a companion on life's journey was something I really liked about being married. The fact that someone is willing to make that commitment to you means they probably aren't going to be out of your life on a moment's notice. Sharing expenses, it's much cheaper to live together as a couple assuming one is not supporting the other. Having a regular sexual partner that has some level of enthusiasm for intimacy is nice, but that can fade over time. I am not into casual sex, probably a little unusu…
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/20 07:28 PM
1

The mediator seemed to think it was a common thing, and the court person (acting judge) responded in an email is support of this. STBXW was really just using the tax argument to be rid of me sooner. If our tax advisor does not think it will pass muster with the IRS we will just file jointly, I don't mind.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/19 07:36 PM
1

Thanks for your support, sounds like good advice. Once the financial stuff was sorted out, the heartache part did start to creep back in briefly. But I realize that I deserve better than being married to someone for whom I am not high on her list of priorities. Eventually I may relocate someplace where housing is more reasonable. Plenty of college towns where you can get a place to live for a few $100K. I might even decide to shift down and get a normal job that's not a high paying pressure cook…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/19 07:14 PM
1

She is independently wealthy from inheritance and owns two residences outright. That’s why she quit working. She was also involved in our twenty-year marriage but the law favors the one who did not work. I was not supporting her during the marriage. My consulting attorney said it’s not certain a judge would have ordered spousal support since she has ample income from investments. Also has a rental and is eligible for social security. The main area where I am at a disadvantage is on the real esta…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/19 03:35 PM
7

From my personal experience (divorce finalizes within weeks), by the time my wife brought it up she had thought about it a lot and are really committed to the idea. She was not going to be talked out of it. My thought process was, why should I want to be with someone who does not want to be with me? Sorry to hear about the loss of your marriage, it really is a grieving process.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/19 01:46 AM
2

Every divorce is different, going through this with kids in the mix must be awful. Mine is without kids, but I have been in a state of heightened anxiety for six months as we navigate the process.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/19 02:50 AM
2

What I have learned is that not everyone has the same idea of what a marriage should be, and this is what tripped my wife and me up. And people’s idea of what it should be changes over time. For me the marriage was a central organizing principle of my life and a top priority. I gave her plenty of independence, it’s not like we had to do everything together all the time. For her it became a loose affiliation with intimacy not on the agenda. So yeah dead bedroom was a factor for us. I am lucky to …
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/19 09:14 PM
1

I can easily see how even a high earner could end up streched monetarily in this manner, and may be facing that myself. One thing about divorce is you get a lot poorer, even without spousal support. I would totaly screwed if I had to pay spousal support. I am a high earner myself and if I were to buy an entry-level condo I am spending a pay check a month on housing alone. This in my mid-50s when I am at peak earnings. This is after maxing my 401(k) and tax withholdng but still. In my industry ge…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/19 03:14 AM
1

<<We probably won't bother with the paperwork to get 'divorced but will just separate.>>Do you mean you are just going to stay married, but separated? That seems a lot stranger to me that the idea of living together for a few months while "separated." My STBXW filed six months ago and we are still living together. No big deal, I would not date while separated, and I don't think she has a lot of near-term interest in dating. It's not uncommon in the area where I live for divorcing couples to cont…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/19 03:11 AM
1

The validaiton from within thing, I agree you have to have some positivity about yourself emanting from within. But imagine you had a life with no friends, a lousy job where every treats you poorly. Every person you interacted with was out to tear you down. Do you think you might suffer some self esteem issues, or would you simply validate from within and everything is A-OK? I think we do need some positive validation from others, there just has to be a balance.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/19 03:25 AM
3

Yeah admittedly that’s something I need to work on.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/19 12:41 AM
2

I think it's better to wait. Separated is married, so not in line with my personal code, but to each his own. I am "separated" right now miyself although still living together. The sexless marriage thing makes me want to get out there, although I am not one to jump into bed with any woman willing. I am hoping I will be able to wait until it's someone I really care about and have potential for a LTR with.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/19 03:18 AM
2

Thanks for your helpful and positive response. I am actually really looking forward to the company of a nice woman with the possibility of romance. My marriage has not been a loving relationship for me for years so I am eager to get back out there. I want to take things slow but just to being that kind of social wth a woman would be wonderful. (And I don't mean sex, not for a while anyway and not until a relationship or strong potential for one).
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/19 03:15 AM
1

That's the thing, every couple I know where one partner retires early or shifts down on their work efforts--it's the wife who does so. I'm not talking about stay at home moms here, just women that prefer leisure (who doesn't) and have no compunction about following that preference. To be fair my STBXW is a decade older than I am. But one partner in a couple retiring 25 years before the other is not a recipe for a successful mariage.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/19 02:18 AM
1

Well she did not work over the past ten years (based upon inherited wealth and my paying half of expenses, plus giving her free health care from my employment), and apparently the fact that I paid condo dues / property taxes instead of mortgage means no community property interest in the appreciation of the home. She was not rich enough to avoid working without me. The main point is she shifted down and did. not. work. Despite my asking her before marriage whether that was her intention and her …
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/19 02:21 AM
1

Yeah my STBXW runs the dishwasher four days a week, she's gone for a week and I run it once. She leaves lights on all over the place too. Guess who pays the power bill?
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/19 02:21 AM
2

I somewhat doubt that I will ever get married again at all, as much as it hurts to say so. No way without a prenup. If one spouse up and decides to stop working because leisure is more fun, they still have a claim to half of what you earn (in my state). Every couple I know where one spouse shifts down during the marriage to enjoy more leisure, it's the husband who keeps the nose to the grindstone. I'm not talking about reducing hours to raise children, which is a legitimate reason for the wife t…
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/19 01:24 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter