cuicksilver Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Starting to feel violent towards women I’m sorry you’re in so much pain. Remember to breathe. Put all your focus on just breathing for a minute. When you feel overwhelmed, look up breathing exercises as a first step to bring things down a notch. Sign up for the classes and tell your parents you need a therapist trained to help clients with autism and then get in sessions asap. Everything is hard because you don’t have healthy, or perhaps any, outlets for what’s going on inside. Medication might be another helpful tool, so you may wan…	/r/ExRedPill	14/11/21 09:02 AM
2	Anyone else an ex member of another cult? I have anecdotally observed this. People go from an extreme cult to a different cult or diet cult (like MLMs, some 12-step groups, etc.). It’s fantastic you’ve already caught yourself in these unhealthy environments so young so you have the rest of your life to deepen your self-awareness, values, and independence. Cults are attractive because of the emotional allure not because they come straight out with their extremist beliefs as you noticed. But to them being right is more important than bein…	/r/ExRedPill	25/04/21 04:15 AM
1	How do I prevent my life from being ruined over a post on r/niceguys? I recommend setting up appointments with a school counselor if you have one, or asking your parents to find one for you so you can process out the layers of distress you’re under. To try to address your primary concern, the post you linked to doesn’t dox your actual identity or even reveal your username, so there is very little ability to trace it back to you except through this post you’ve made here (if that freaks you out, just edit to delete the link). As someone older than you, I want to ass…	/r/ExRedPill	10/04/21 08:17 AM
1	Do you think fixing some of mens issues might also solve a lot of females issues? Yes, and that’s one aspect that was imparted on me from the documentary, The Mask You Live In. Women will still have other issues perpetuated by women and various sources of trauma, but helping men feel whole and secure will absolutely help women.	/r/ExRedPill	21/03/21 01:13 AM
2	Help! I’m a narcissist and manipulative Good tip. Spiritual narcissism and bypassing is real. Especially if someone already has narcissistic tendencies.	/r/ExRedPill	21/03/21 01:00 AM
2	Help! I’m a narcissist and manipulative Narcissists don’t think they need to change. You likely have narcissistic injuries and CPTSD, potentially cluster B or borderline but I am not a mental health professional and am not diagnosing, I just don’t think you actually have NPD. Basically, you, like much of the world, have unresolved trauma (overt or covert) and it’s getting in the way of your adult life and relationships, and it’s treatable.	/r/ExRedPill	21/03/21 12:54 AM
12	Help! I’m a narcissist and manipulative Good ol’ fashioned therapy. Putting in the work to look at your past, grieve it, own your behavior, reframe your mindset, and grow. There are low cost options if you have financial limitations.	/r/ExRedPill	20/03/21 05:36 AM
37	Husband redpilled, or at least he thinks he is...help? I see similar stories in r/QAnonCasualties. Loved ones dramatically adopting hateful ideology. They have links with suggestions on how to try to bring someone “back” under the About section. The problem is he likes what these beliefs offer him (answers, comfort, community, validation), so he would need something else that fills that hole. That may be a combination of things like therapy, self-compassion, loving relationships/friends, and a fulfilling position in life (work, hobbies or volunteeri…	/r/ExRedPill	09/03/21 11:40 PM
2	I don't trust her. She's done nothing wrong but I don't I agree with you. Not that all women perpetuate toxic behavior but plenty of them not being as progressive as they think. And how can they do better if they don’t even see it? It doesn’t make me hate women, but I agree, it’s disappointing and frustrating, almost gaslighting. A documentary I wish everyone would see that touches on what you’re saying here is The Mask You Live In. Society has a lot of work to do on all sides. Hopefully me working on myself will help others do their work, too.	/r/ExRedPill	28/02/21 02:43 AM
25	Leaving the red pill It sounds like you view women as unsafe. That your trust was violated overtly or covertly (i.e. neglect, abandonment, rejection) and TRP ripped that wound wider. I’m a big proponent of talk therapy to explore and process where my pain shows up in my present and past, and then working to grieve the old pain to stop it from infecting the present. There are also plenty of great books, audiobooks and even YT channels (from professionals not just anybody) that address a variety of the issues that imp…	/r/ExRedPill	27/02/21 06:48 PM
3	Idk what to think anymore Being smart has very little to do with our ability to make healthy choices. Our behavior is usually dictated by our emotions, not intelligence.	/r/ExRedPill	27/02/21 06:04 PM
8	I think I'm turning into a fascist please help First, I really honor that you’re asking hard questions. Wrestling with these impulses is important to get a variety of viewpoints on so you can make the healthiest choice. These movements like TRP or alt-right steal grains of truth but primarily operate on emotions not reason—usually internalized rage, fear, loss and abandonment. Their content is all conclusion shopping; cherry-picking real events while discarding anything that doesn’t support their worldview. It’s tunnel vision, not a secret t…	/r/ExRedPill	27/02/21 10:03 AM
4	Idk what to think anymore That’s brutal, I’m sorry you were so badly mistreated. You didn’t deserve that. We won’t always know or understand why people are cruel, but we gotta regroup, grieve, and heal, because we deserve to be happy. It just takes more work than we realize. But we’re twice the person we are once we get to the other side of a situation. Are you working with a therapist you can let all this out with? We all need support to make it through the pain. I leaned heavy on therapy after a bad breakup and eventua…	/r/ExRedPill	27/02/21 08:46 AM
14	after I started dating women I begin to understand why I was wrong and why redpill is bullshit. Happy to hear you’re feeling better about dating and yourself. What were some of the first myths that were dispelled for you and how?	/r/ExRedPill	26/02/21 11:20 PM
75	Why do Redpill/MGTOW lifestyle coaches encourage men you only have sex with women under 25? Younger women are less assertive and tend to tolerate mistreatment from partners more.	/r/ExRedPill	26/02/21 07:49 PM
1	I don't feel any Joy from dating Depending on how long you’ve believed this, it can take years of consistent practice to unlearn it. What has helped me (still working on it tbh) was years of therapy building up my internal validation and recognizing the heinous flaws in that belief (realizing it’s a lie I was implicitly taught and continued to tell myself), reading books and watching YT videos about codependency, boundaries, self-compassion, perfectionism, hypervigilance, overfunctioning, vulnerability, guilt, and shame, and le…	/r/ExRedPill	23/02/21 05:22 AM
4	any other women in a similar situation? help? My guess would be that you consume this content to reinforce your internalized belief that you are unworthy—of good things, of love, of a respectful partner. Because you are engaging in uncontrollable and harmful behavior I would encourage you to start working with a therapist to piece apart your insecurities and how to develop healthier coping mechanisms.	/r/ExRedPill	22/02/21 06:58 AM
6	I don't feel any Joy from dating Everything you’re saying is understandable. You’ve definitely grown, but there are still certain insecurities and perfectionism complexes that plague you. You would possibly benefit from working a few sessions or more with a therapist to address your emotional PTSD from being cheated on and anxiety of being discovered as imperfect (I identify with this and it’s taken me years to accept that my imperfections are not loopholes for people to abandon or betray me). While too much excitement in early…	/r/ExRedPill	20/02/21 08:08 PM
9	My dilemma You’re not in a good place in life to have a monogamous relationship. Let her go. It will only end badly. If you’re still torn, make a few sessions with a therapist to see why you would seriously consider betraying someone you think you love. Cheating on a partner also makes it harder for others who don’t cheat to earn trust in relationships.	/r/ExRedPill	16/02/21 03:24 AM
2	26 y/o virgin looking for advice No girl will likely ask you that. Odds are you’ll eventually hit it off with someone and before things get too physical, you can let her know so she has simpler expectations for your first time together. If that’s a turnoff then she’s not a good match for you; it’s not a negative reflection of you.	/r/ExRedPill	15/02/21 07:47 AM
15	How to stop becoming an incel? Yo, I’m sorry you’re going through this. It sounds like you’ve been slogging through rejection a long time and it builds up. It’s important to recognize that our defense mechanisms like mentally belittling others doesn’t protect our ego—we belittle others because our ego is already so beat up. You want others to feel the pain you do. It’s understandable. I honestly recommend getting with an empathetic therapist who can help you walk through your pain so you can face it, own it, and love yourself…	/r/ExRedPill	05/02/21 05:36 AM
6	Something my husband and I discussed, wanted to know if you all see this as well... I see the profiting off the division more as a side benefit. The primary driver appears to be protecting the 1%’s power and wealth by neutralizing threats. If women, LGBT, etc. are perceived as inferior and belittled, they cannot compete and replace the cis-het white men in power. Are they happy to invest in the profit of division too, no question. But as others stated, misogyny and homophobia, etc. are deeply baked in to society so the division, while propagated, is very much real in the minds …	/r/ExRedPill	31/01/21 09:48 PM
3	Red pill has made me very troubled Those are unfortunately valid, common problems in relationships, Christian or otherwise. The best defense is to work on yourself: develop strong boundaries, ego strength, heal from past trauma (lest you subconsciously seek out the same scenarios), nurture open and honest communication around needs and feelings in relationships while also respecting and honoring the needs of your partner (sometimes there is compromise and sometimes there are deal-breakers). Working out your fears with a therapist…	/r/ExRedPill	26/01/21 08:03 PM
2	Yes, the RedPill is fake. But... I pay $40/session at a sliding scale center and there are centers that charge less. If accessible, it’s free for those in the US who qualify for Medicaid through their Department of Mental Health.	/r/ExRedPill	03/01/21 10:59 PM
5	Yes, the RedPill is fake. But... If you are starting from a place of assuming a relationship will hurt you, it’s time to get with a therapist and work through past hurts that are holding you back. Relationships can absolutely be long-term and overall healthy. But they require healthy individuals to make one. Emotionally unhealthy people pick emotionally unhealthy people. Yes, people can be hurtful, but we have to start with the bitter understanding of why we might have unconsciously picked hurtful people (not heeded red flags),…	/r/ExRedPill	02/01/21 09:40 AM
15	Theory: it’s not “all women,” you just dated a BPD/NPD BPD is Borderline Personality Disorder, not bipolar. Untreated bipolar can make someone a difficult partner though.	/r/ExRedPill	02/01/21 12:06 AM
9	I think im relapsing TRP is a symptom not a solution. Figure out what’s triggering you: low self-esteem, jealousy, resentment, lack of job/income/partner/material desires/friends, etc. Therapists are great to help work through our blocks and self-sabotaging behaviors if you’re not already with one. And TRP acts like a drug—temporarily self-soothing with painful side effects. So get abstinent and commit to not looking at it for your own mental health. Honor your needs to not do that to yourself. Find an alternative i…	/r/ExRedPill	28/12/20 08:43 AM
10	How overcome a Redpill Man? If your therapist agrees with TRP, find a new one immediately. Healthy therapists do not support mental and emotional manipulation tactics.	/r/ExRedPill	11/12/20 05:54 PM
12	I need serious help First off, you sound like on paper you would be attractive to many women (employed full-time, thoughtful—the bar is not as high as you think). If you’re mental health and confidence are not great as a result of these self-limiting beliefs, I am a big supporter of therapy (or teletherapy as it is now). Your feelings of shame are undeserved (but understandable) and we gotta do the work to love, respect, and honor ourselves to combat toxic shame. I’m sorry you’re going through this right now.	/r/ExRedPill	09/12/20 10:26 PM
2	This thread on twitter is a brilliant rebuttal to the redpill understanding of hypergamy. Do give it a read. Eh, if it’s just a month and very casual, a kind text saying the same may do as well, actually.	/r/ExRedPill	08/12/20 03:36 PM
3	This thread on twitter is a brilliant rebuttal to the redpill understanding of hypergamy. Do give it a read. Hypothetically, I would call or meet them at a coffee shop and let them know it’s not working out for me and share some of their positive traits I appreciated if they weren’t crazy toxic where I need to just cut and run over text (+Block).	/r/ExRedPill	08/12/20 03:12 PM
8	This thread on twitter is a brilliant rebuttal to the redpill understanding of hypergamy. Do give it a read. Off the top of my head: - Behavior that doesn’t align with actions. - Lying and/or withholding to misrepresent (to you or others; if they lie easily to someone else they’ll lie to you) - Openly angry at their ex - Love-bombing; moving too fast - Negging - Testing you - Crosses your boundaries on purpose - Belittles your feelings (“I was just joking, calm down,” etc) - Incapable of apologizing - Shuts down when confronted and doesn’t address your concerns - Keeps you a secret after they’ve met yo…	/r/ExRedPill	08/12/20 02:38 PM
6	This thread on twitter is a brilliant rebuttal to the redpill understanding of hypergamy. Do give it a read. Observe from the profile, communication, behavior and dates looking for red flags and compatibility knowing your personal values, boundaries, needs and abilities (can you give them what they want long term).	/r/ExRedPill	08/12/20 01:27 PM
4	Redpill exacerbated my trust issues. I need help. Agreed. It may sound rough, but relationships don’t go anywhere or go toxic super fast without grounded, trusting partners (and no, saying you’re trusting until she does something questionable does not make one trusting). Deal with your trust issues first, reckon with your triggers, and don’t put too much stock in the beginning stages of a relationship—it’s the exploratory phase for both people.	/r/ExRedPill	05/12/20 12:53 AM
8	Drugs helped me recover (8 year journey through red pill) I’m genuinely happy for you. This was a really nice breakdown on your evolution of mindset/motives. Thank you for sharing and I’m glad you were able to find peace and healing after struggling.	/r/ExRedPill	04/12/20 11:06 AM
15	How do I stop this way of thinking? Have I been brainwashed? It’s preying on your insecurities. ‘Women will hurt you.’ Ask yourself what in your past experiences affirms and feeds that belief? It’s not an objective truth, but it feels like it because something similar already happened to you. Could be neglect or abuse from your mom, could be a number of things. But for some reason you’re primed for this belief and TRP exploits your insecurities and ignores a reality that women, just like men, are all different depending on the individual and their level o…	/r/ExRedPill	20/11/20 06:47 AM
10	they are right Those are opinions, not facts. Someone planted these seeds in you at some point, and just because you believe it doesn’t make it true. Now you can behave in ways to push people away and where people don’t respond positively to you, that’s a result of self-fulfilling behavior, but again, not objective reality of who you are and always will be. We can’t expect people to love us more than we love ourselves. Our parents were supposed to love us unconditionally, but that doesn’t work out for everyone…	/r/ExRedPill	15/11/20 09:42 PM
22	So I feel like my mindset is reverting... Jealousy is a result of not being happy with our own life. When you catch yourself focussing on your ex, you’re avoiding focusing on yourself. Working through what triggers your insecurities is what will solve your problem but that’s way easier said than done. An example of processing your baggage one piece at a time(take or leave whatever does/doesn’t apply): You feel jealous when you see pics of your ex with a new person. Why? You compare yourself and interpret not having a new partner(s) as a…	/r/ExRedPill	15/11/20 05:29 AM
1	Being bitter is awful You sound like you’re actually coming closer with who you are inside, as painful and hopeless as things appear to be. We can work on external things to “do” to supposedly improve our life, but self-improvement only works on a foundation of owning how you feel and navigating through why the hurt is there no matter how hard you work on other things (exercise, relationships, job, education). It may not be encouraged in your family or circle, but I highly recommend getting with a therapist to hash o…	/r/ExRedPill	09/11/20 06:52 AM
4	18 Year old virgin needs advice. Tinder and genuine compliments after establishing an initial connection. Whatever you decide, just do no harm—don’t neg, gaslight, manipulate. Don’t treat people in ways you wouldn’t want to be treated. You can always hire sex workers, too. No strings, no games, full transparency.	/r/ExRedPill	20/10/20 08:05 AM
5	I HAVE A Concerning Question? 😔🤔 With practice and concerted self-awareness. You’re gonna fall back on old habits unconsciously, so it’s key to pay attention, stay humble, be OK with owning up and apologizing, be compassionate with yourself, and be persistent. Breaking old habits takes time in building new habits. The longer one has a bad habit, the longer it often takes to reverse it. You might even be good for years and then still slip up out of the blue, it happens. Therapists are a great way to have an objective coach guide…	/r/ExRedPill	20/10/20 07:58 AM
1	Ladies of exredpill, do you like the strong, sensitive type of man? Free on Hoopla (if you’re in the US and link up your library card), otherwise $2.99 to rent—well worth it—on YT, Amazon or Google Play ($6.99 to buy). It used to be on Netflix but isn’t anymore.	/r/ExRedPill	17/10/20 09:22 AM
3	Ladies of exredpill, do you like the strong, sensitive type of man? Check out the documentary The Mask You Live In. I wish everyone would see it so we could be better at giving boys and men permission back to being fully human. Congrats on seeing through the BS narrative. Be you.	/r/ExRedPill	16/10/20 03:43 PM
3	I realised that people don't hate me as much as I think and some people actually loves me. Mad props for becoming aware of how hurtful it is to both parties. Of the people I know and meet IRL, people are overall good and kind and the unhinged selfish assholes are the outliers. I just wonder what happened to them to be that way. We also tend to judge ourselves harshly and as a result assume others are as judgmental of us as we are. Everyone is way too insecure and self-focused to do that (except online cause it’s so impersonal).	/r/ExRedPill	12/10/20 11:30 AM
2	Guys I think I need your help. I've been accidentally redpilled all my life and I need to reverse it. You’ve already come a long way just being aware of where you were taught these harmful ideas, where they fall apart in reality, why they’re harmful to you and others, and taking ownership of your past behavior. This is huge. If you have access to a therapist, that’s one of the best ways to start consistently working at pulling apart your harmful, ingrained beliefs and replace them with healthier ones. The healthier your beliefs are, the better friendships you can develop.	/r/ExRedPill	11/10/20 09:56 PM
1	About escalating Agree with what’s being said. Gonna add, it sounds like you’re on the right path toward healthy relationships (slow, thoughtful, serious, develop communication), and you sound like you could get extra support, guidance and self-esteem development from therapy. It helped me a lot after a rough breakup where I learned what I did “wrong.” The best dating advice is to fully own You and find someone that clicks where you don’t have to pretend to be someone else.	/r/ExRedPill	09/10/20 06:13 AM
28	redpill/incel chatfishing Tinder is often used for hookups, so looks tend to be more important for surface level gratification. Personality matters for LTR. How many of the matches are catfishes and not real women? People don’t read profiles. That goes for men too. Try creating a fake attractive female profile with felonies and see the countless matches you get. Why don’t they show the converse, is it because it will belittle the point they’re trying to make? It’s pretending to be scientific without applying the rigors o…	/r/ExRedPill	19/09/20 09:25 PM
5	I still got issues man +1 for therapy. Has been eye-opening for me to put my limitations into focus, slowly dismantle them, and as a result approach dating with less anxiety.	/r/ExRedPill	18/09/20 11:27 AM
8	Waiting at the Finishline Plenty of ideas hold some truth because people are different and there’s several billion of us. And because we’re different, there’s an opposite truism for the counterpoint that’s purposely being ignored because it doesn’t support the argument someone’s forcing. Ask people you know to tell you about people they know that got together when the man wasn’t some superficial idea of a “winner.” One example is Steve Carell. There are countless examples. But if you have low self-esteem, you’ll feel lik…	/r/ExRedPill	16/09/20 04:07 AM
2	Honesty goes a long way.. 100% Feeling ashamed about being vulnerable is really backwards. It’s being vulnerable (with people who aren’t assholes) that eliminates shame. And brings us closer. Because we’ve all made mistakes and felt stupid, so good people will respect your honesty and trust you so they can be honest too.	/r/ExRedPill	12/09/20 02:58 AM
29	People tend to Date at their Station...Red Pill is attractive to people because it makes excuses for their own failings People also date in their psychological station. If your ex was crazy, then some crazy/insecurity in you matched with that. If everyone you date is crazy/vapid/narcissistic/etc., then you keep subconsciously picking/allowing that for some reason. You’re the common denominator.	/r/ExRedPill	10/09/20 02:06 PM
2	I feel like I need to let go of the Red Pill once and for all. And yet, I still have so much work to do on myself, based on countless rejections. What do I do? is it because I haven’t applied it properly? That’s what every self-destructive cult says. The program is infallible, so you must’ve fucked up. No, dude. Your relationship attempts suck because you’re insecure. And that’s hella normal—failure and insecurity. Welcome to life. Sounds like you’ve made some external improvements but neglected the internal. Honestly, I suggest you get with a therapist to build up your confidence and change your mindset about yourself. The secret is that we can only a…	/r/ExRedPill	10/09/20 07:36 AM
1	A Few Topics to Tackle If you’re concerned about being taken advantage of, study up on codependency, people pleasing, narcissism, manipulation tactics, and boundaries. You can’t be manipulated, or taken advantage of for long, if you know the signs and have strong boundaries. This will serve you not only in relationships but in work, friendships and life.	/r/ExRedPill	10/09/20 06:45 AM
11	How to find "good" women? The women who don’t respond to you are probably turned off by your tactics, not you the person. Some can smell it. Drop the RP game and just be you. It won’t have as high of returns as PUA moves but you’ll get more of what you want. You gotta be vulnerable to let a serious woman see if she clicks with you.	/r/ExRedPill	09/09/20 11:17 PM
40	Is all red pill stuff bad or is there some truth or is it the people who lead the organization the problem? Every cult has truth in it, that’s what makes it hard to dismiss them out of hand. But whatever truth they contain is also available outside the group.	/r/ExRedPill	08/09/20 11:32 PM
9	I'm a 30 y.o. man and haven't dated ever (or done anything sexual) due to trauma issues from childhood. What sort of reactions could I expect to this if I do start dating? 100% of the women you don’t want to date. If you’re not at peace with your past, you will project your insecurities and that will distract people from appreciating you. Maybe get a few sessions in with a therapist or whatever to let your personal hangups about it go.	/r/ExRedPill	07/09/20 11:07 AM
20	I'm a 30 y.o. man and haven't dated ever (or done anything sexual) due to trauma issues from childhood. What sort of reactions could I expect to this if I do start dating? You could tell ten different dates your history and get ten different reactions. As long as you’re working on or are comfortable with who you are today, then the other person can decide if who you are right now is a good fit or not for where they are right now. Some girls would find it refreshing to meet a man who isn’t a player. But also, dating history doesn’t come up until later, if at all. Stay in the present tense; keep in mind everybody has something in their history they don’t want to sha…	/r/ExRedPill	07/09/20 10:20 AM
2	I need help Good for you on ending it for good. Consider going no-contact if he can’t speak to you respectfully. It sounds like you would benefit from counseling and exploring codependent thinking that’s kept you bonded to him at the cost of your happiness and freedom. Codependent No More by Melodie Beattie helped me after my toughest breakup. It’s a bit 12-step-y but good.	/r/ExRedPill	04/09/20 10:26 AM
3	Dealing with regret over past misogynistic behavior I think it would be meaningful to anyone, even if they didn’t stay in contact (ie send a DM if OP doesn’t have their contact info). Not to expect being forgiven but to validate their experience and his part in it would be mindblowing for the recipient.	/r/ExRedPill	24/08/20 07:15 AM