This reminds me of drinking with my (mostly male) coworkers. The LV among them would encourage me to keep up with them despite that being dangerous for me. I just thought they were careless and kind of dumb. It's scary to think of someone doing that with ill intent.
My first thought was that my sister's husband may be in that 3%. It is probably closer to 50/50 with them and his involvement in household duties and childcare is so notable/unusual that it seems to me that he's doing more than his "fair share."
I was explaining to a guy how I was assaulted and he kept making excuses for this man? that he had never met? that had violated me? until I started crying. Part of the reason I gave up on men. They're just not nice, either through intentional malice or having absolutely no emotional intelligence and it's not worth it.
There is probably some shock and disassociation between reconciling how she thought of him and what he did. I think it's actually good she is seeking clarifying help immediately (though who knows what that cesspool will provide). I know it's taken me and other women I know a long time to process that we were violated by people we trusted.
