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curious-girl-5 Archive

View 2 posts and 75 comments by curious-girl-5 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

How did you get to a point where you just have these empty friendships? I want to echo the importance of not keeping around 'empty friendships' just because you went to high school or university together. You want to have people around you that will help with your overall growth to be better and be accountable, OP.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/20 01:42 AM
6

These are some really good questions to keep in mind here, OP. Speaking for myself, if you have been seeing someone for at least 6 months and you are not sure whether you want to continue seeing them, that's a sign for you to move on.
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/20 03:46 AM
3

You don't have trust in him holding frame. Bingo. OP clearly hasn't taken the time to go through any of the info on the sidebar or the book's that regular contributions here recommended to check out.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/20 11:31 PM
2

Look at the whole scope of his life: his body and physical health, his emotional stability, the cleanliness of his home, the condition of his car, the quality of his work ethic and relationships at his job... Be wary of laziness and apathy. I'm late to this thread, but these are very good points!
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/20 02:21 AM
14

Keep up the work on your own personal journey and self-improvement! Moving forward, make sure you are taking the time to vet the men properly that you are interested in getting into a relationship with. Good luck!
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/20 02:14 AM
1

Do your education now. Itll be that much harder to go back towards your late 20s or early 30s. I agree with this.
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/20 12:04 AM
14

you gotta take responsibility for your own thoughts and emotions. Bingo.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/20 09:53 PM
2

My SO is really into punk rock and he introduced me to a 90s East Bay band called 'Jawbreaker' which I really like! I also recommend listening to 'Gob' as well.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/20 02:01 PM
2

I enjoy a mix of pop, alternative, and even some punk rock too.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/20 01:48 PM
1

What about sex though, I feel like 6 months is too long to wait for that.. That's going to be up to you to decide whether or not you want to have sex. You have to let intimacy come organically when you are in the dating phase. Plus, you want to make sure that you are in sync with a man on a sexual level (sexual chemistry) before you commit to a man for the long haul. The last thing you want to be in is a dead bedroom when you find out after the fact your man has a LL, ED, or some kind of issue. …
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/20 01:41 PM
3

Correct me if I'm wrong and this worked in your personal experience but you seem to be single yourself. I'm not single, I have an SO (I'm not married). There are a few things that I learned from my own experiences, therapy in the past, and some of the books I have read (Dr. Smith, Esther Perel, etc.) is that you need time to accurately vet someone that you are considering to bring into your life. I dated my SO for around 8 months before we had the talk about moving into the relationship phase. W…
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/20 01:37 PM
2

I wouldn't even throw this guy in my dating phase pipeline, let alone move into the relationship phase with him.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/20 01:00 PM
2

There are lots of problems in your post... we started dating in February and became a couple just a few weeks ago. That's extremely quick - red flag. You should be spending at least 6 months (minimum) in the dating phase before moving into the relationship phase (via. Dr. Shawn T. Smith). A couple of months in the dating phase isn't good enough to vet someone for a relationship; especially, when you are only seeing this guy every other week. He said he's very closed and hard to get attached, I a…
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/20 12:58 PM
2

Let's list the variables here: You are 21 years old You don't love this man You don't want to be a compliment in his life You don't have the same longterm goals as him (i.e. he wants kids, you don't) You have eyes looking elsewhere You are 21 years old
/r/RedPillWomen11/05/20 03:12 AM
1

Good luck!
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/20 05:49 AM
2

Throw this guy into the dating phase and you can vet him for a while (i.e. 6 months) to see if he is relationship material. Never commit to a man that you have not vetted for a decent period of time.
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/20 03:08 AM
3

This will severely impact your relationship. Bingo. I don't see this ending too well here...
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/20 03:05 AM
1

My 5th grade teacher removed all the boys from the class and had a “girl talk” and she said “no matter what. Never 100% rely on a man financially. If my husband left me today I would be ok.” The problem with this statement, sweetheart, is that you have been conditioned to put career over men. You are now in the situation like many women out there who want marriage and kids, who are now approaching their late 20s/early 30s, to only see that they have competition with younger women. In retrospect,…
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/20 02:51 AM
2

I'm late to the party, OP! But, I have some info I want to share with you... The problem that you face right now is that screening out a good partner for a relationship takes months, if not years to do... If you have read any of the research and work from Dr. Shawn T. Smith, you will see that he presents a thorough process for men and women to screen 'potential' partners. The Phases: Dating Phase: Take 6 to 12 months to vet a partner to see if they are relationship worthy (i.e. get a pipeline of…
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/20 02:44 AM
2

You need to learn to be social when you are out and about! For example, let's say you are waiting in line at the grocery store and you look back and make eye contact with a stranger. Smile, nod your head and say 'hello' (or, reference something). I think the more you learn to be comfortable with small talk in public with strangers, the more confidence you will get when it comes to approaching people in different situations (work event, gala, dates, etc.). You need to learn skills and that comes …
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/20 03:13 AM
8

Perfect comment response to OP.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/20 12:25 AM
6

These are good points, but as I mentioned in my comment, we can't pin this all down to Mike (OP's guy). From what I gathered in her post, Mike mentioned to OP a couple of times that he wasn't going to get into a relationship with someone that he couldn't see regularly (i.e. a couple of times a week). Based on what OP was saying around her schedule, they have only been able to see each other every other week on average, at most once a week. I think they need to have a sit-down talk and figure out…
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/20 04:56 AM
3

I'm going to bring a different perspective to this situation that some people may not agree with me on, but we need to keep this in mind... This guy mentioned to OP on a couple of occasions (based on the post) that he wasn't going to get into a relationship with someone that he wasn't able to see at least a couple of times a week. Because both of them have busy schedules; especially, with OP finishing up her schooling and work, it doesn't make sense to get into a relationship with someone you ba…
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/20 04:12 AM
2

There is a lot of good advice here in this thread. I would like to add in a very good resource for you to read, which will be a huge help when vetting men during the dating phase (i.e. Chris you are seeing for 6 months, James for 2 months, etc.) to see whether or not you want to enter into a relationship with. "The Practical Guide to Men: How To Spot the Hidden Traits of Good Men and Great Relationships", written by Dr. Shawn T. Smith This book will give you a lot of insight and data into taking…
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/20 09:56 PM
3

Keep this in mind... You two broke up for a reason; regardless, of which one of you initiated the breakup. Please, keep this in your thought process as you move forward on this tough road. Make sure you are taking care of yourself and focus on self-care during this time.
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/20 03:48 AM
2

Do you guys have any advice on how to go about this? I recommend doing your due diligence before getting involved with a military man in the dating phase, let along getting into the relationship phase or getting married to him. There are many women out there that think getting involved with a military man is great until he is gone for months, then receives a 'Dear John Letter' that you wrote to tell him it's over. Please do your research first before pursing anything.
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/20 12:38 AM
3

You're welcome! Please, don't be too hard on yourself. These things happen to all of us at one point or another!
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/20 04:13 AM
1

You shouldn't have run back to him to reignite the relationship after you walked away initially. I would recommend using this experience as a learning experience for future dating & relationship scenarios that you might be in with time. Learn, live, and move forward.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/20 04:08 AM
1

This is an excellent comment here and I agree with you /u/teaandtalk 100% on everything you mentioned!
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/20 03:50 AM
2

This comes down to what an individual wants to do.
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/20 03:41 AM
1

Our only issue is that we live two states a part. Red flag. If you have spent any time on this sub, do not get involved with a man in a LDR situation - ever. As soon as quarantine ends, we’ll meet in person and begin dating. If you and him live in the same area, then you two can proceed into the dating phase. But, even then, you are going to need a solid 6 to 12 months of vetting this guy to see if he is relationship material. I would be very skeptic for getting involved in this situation. Sorry…
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/20 12:38 AM
10

Less than 6 months This doesn't sound like a relationship, this sounds like you two are still in the dating phase. I wouldn't be surprised if he is spinning plates right now since you didn't mention the transition from the "dating phase" to the "relationship phase.
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/20 03:41 AM
9

Do you believe that the media/society influences women to sleep with multiple men? It goes both ways in my book.
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/20 02:38 AM
3

I really thought I was going to have a family by now. Get rid of this mindset - please. How the fuck will I find a decent guy at my age? I'm not going to sugarcoat it sweetheart, but it will be tough; especially, with the attitude, you have in your post... But... I really need help please. I feel my life is over. What’s the point. You need to change your perspective entirely. Honestly, you should be focusing on becoming a better person in all areas of your life. Take care of yourself (i.e. eat w…
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/20 12:28 AM
9

How can I be more wife material? First off, stop swallowing modern-day feminism, which is all about putting the entire male species to shame. That is a great way to scare away all men; especially, HVM. Secondly, if you haven't already figured it out yet, looks matter. Get a healthy diet going for you, start working out regularly (lifting heavy & cardio), develop a healthy skin routine, drink lots of water, and start cutting out things that don't serve you (i.e. toxic people, excessive drinking, …
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/20 03:19 AM
1

Matters for guys too. Of course!
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/20 05:32 AM
2

This is a great comment, OP! I think term “strong, independent woman” might be a bit misleading since it is used by feminists a lot. I just want to add how much I hate this term... It's an instant red flag for me when I'm around women who "throw around" the term loosely.
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/20 03:36 AM
1

I can't stress enough how important a good skin care routine is. This & a healthy diet with drinking a lot of water!
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/20 03:33 AM
4

Here is the deal... I have gotten a lot of shit from women over the years, whether it's been from conversations IRL or on this sub, but your looks matter when it comes to the sexual market place. This is where you should really be dialing in your workouts, diet, skin routine, and cutting out shitty things you don't need in your life (i.e. limiting alcohol, toxic people, high stress, etc.). Make yourself and your looks a priority moving forward.
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/20 03:32 AM
2

Good luck!
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/20 06:35 AM
2

Bingo.
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/20 06:31 AM
1

She had it all, but sequentially, not at the same time. This is very true! That being said, I see a lot of women (some I have worked with) who put the whole "kids" or "marriage" aspect on the backburner, then wonder why no HVM is interested in wife-ing them up or having kids with them past 35. If you are interested in all of that, I would recommend the way your MIL went about it.
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/20 11:54 PM
10

Unpopular opinion here, but you should let your friend decide whether or not she wants to keep seeing this guy (adding him to the dating phase pipeline). To me, there are a lot of assumptions going on here without any proof. Not to mention, you are only getting the info based on what your girlfriend is telling you. Ever since RPW I've somehow become the main source of dating advice for my friends Be careful with offering advice... Most people won't want to hear what you have to say (cold hard tr…
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/20 04:35 AM
2

That's a great read! She also has a lot of research studies online that you can come across. Enjoy!
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/20 03:31 AM
2

My concern remains that shifting an incredible share of the breadwinning burden over to women has had profound, irreversible economic repercussions that actually place more pressure on us than we can handle. It's because we have more people in the workforce. That was something my professor mentioned almost ten years ago in my lectures. When you have double the amount of people applying for a position, that means a company can inturn pay whatever they would like. That is why it remains extremely …
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/20 01:51 AM
4

I will add in an edit to my comment later tonight with some more info! Stay tuned...
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/20 01:44 AM
4

“Social order” — would you mind elaborating on this? I’m intrigued. How modern-day feminism says; 'you can have it all, girl!'. It's not true... We all make choices in our lives. For example, one of our regulars posted on here the other day how she was "insulted" from other women since she wanted to be a stay at home mom; rather, then chase the corporate ladder.
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/20 01:44 AM
2

I will expand on this in my comment later tonight as an 'edit'! But, my suggestion would be to start reading some of Esther Perel's research. It's a great place to start and find more resources from her studies as well!
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/20 01:43 AM
1

One is that boys learn how to be men from men. Bingo!
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/20 10:21 PM
9

It all started for me when I was starting up at university in my late teens/early twenties through one of my psychology professors. He worked professionally in the field for over 15 years and shared a lot of "uncomfortable truths" around male & female interactions; especially, when it came to the sexual marketplace. At first, it was really hard to digest all of the information that was being shared since most of us in his classes (mainly, young women) had a hard time believing what he was sharin…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/20 10:18 PM
5

For sure! I always recommend this book! 'The Practical Guide to Men: How to Spot the Hidden Traits of Good Men and Great Relationships' - Dr. Shaw T. Smith There is a lot of good info around vetting men, taking time in the dating phase (i.e. 6 to 8 months) with men you are seeing, being selective with men you get into relationships with and/or decide to marry. This is a great time to start reading this book and learning about the sexual marketplace and for finding HVM.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/20 06:36 AM
3

Great link! Thanks for the share! I will definitely spend some time going through this website and try to find some reading material. I had a lot of courses in university with my program where I studied psychology for a good period of time. I have to say, it's done wonders with regards to my personal & professional life, as well as the sexual marketplace with men.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/20 06:09 AM
6

There are a lot of red flags in your post that is shared by most of the commenters here. My BIG problem is that you didn't take the time or go through the 'dating phase' properly... Jumping into a relationship with a guy who is passive and is belittling you from the get-go is NOT an ideal situation. Please, for future reference, take around 6 or so months of vetting in the dating phase before committing to someone! This is absolutely ridiculous...
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/20 06:06 AM
16

Ignore and move on...
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/20 06:04 AM
1

Uhh, this is a unique question for this sub... First off, you should check your grammar... Secondly, you should spend some more time reading through posts on this sub, as well as the sidebar info that the mods have provided.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/20 02:41 AM
12

How do you shake a vibe that you can’t quite pinpoint? Own your shit and keep improving all areas of your life - daily.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/20 01:16 AM
3

I’m interested in men with more conservative values and who are open to having a LTR. Okay... Women (we) are the gatekeepers of intimacy & sex. Men are the gatekeepers of commitment. If you are truly wanting a 'relationship', you will need to spend a lot of time in the dating phase with many different men to vet them out for a relationship. In addition, if you are hoping to snag a HVM (especially, at your age), you are going to have to be very patient. For example, HVM won't rush into a relation…
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/20 08:01 PM
3

I always hated chatting through the apps. Agreed. Get off them and move on to chatting via text; especially, if both of you are down to wanting to see each other.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/20 07:10 PM
5

Thoughts? Really? Are you serious? He wants you to give him a shout...
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/20 07:10 PM
3

have never been in a real relationships- just almost relationships and one fwb. Your "almost relationships" are called the 'dating phase'. You should probably learn this sooner than later; rather, then confusing a guy you are seeing for 4 months a "relationship" without him committing to you as being in a relationship. I'm not sure how much time you have spent on this sub, but I need to stress this to you... See below: Women (we) are the gatekeepers to intimacy & sex. Men are the gatekeepers of …
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/20 03:50 AM
3

Gut feeling or 24 hours without a message ? If you are OLD, then yes, the 24 hour rule without a reply to your message is a red flag. Either way, you should be dropping all and any beta orbiters you have.
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/20 11:03 PM
2

I'd call that an attention whore. Seeking validation and attention online. Agreed on both sides here...
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/20 10:57 PM
1

A few times now I’ve dated someone a year older who ended up leaving me for a girl who was 3-5 years younger than him instead. Unfortunately, this is way more common than you might think; especially, if he is a HVM. Why not open up your age demo a little bit higher? So, what, if you end up dating a couple of guys in their mid to late 30s!? I would try to open up the casting net a little bit more. The older you get, the more guys around "your age" will be looking at younger women.
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/20 01:54 AM
3

underweight/ almost flat chested (lower body is ok but upper body is so thin.. I'm so self conscious about my chest and what men will think) You should be working out consistently (a mix of lifting heavy and cardio) and sticking to a healthy diet. Try to gain a little muscle mass on your body as it will help give you some lovely, natural curves. I don't understand why so many people out there (especially, women) right-off working out (consistently) and adding in a healthy diet. You will see posi…
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/20 01:38 AM
18

Consider yourself lucky to have a husband who loves the natural you! I cannot emphasize this enough, OP.
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/20 01:35 AM
1

Can your husband not self-isolate in your basement or something? I would not want to be around him. His behavior is selfish; not only himself, but to everyone around him. These are the kind of behaviours that I truly believe will make a lot of people go through the divorce machine once this COVID-19 crisis passes by us.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/20 05:05 AM
12

I have a lot of info that I want to share with you, but I highly recommend that you aren't dating during this COVID-19 situation that is going on right now. The HVM out there aren't focusing on dating; instead, they are focusing on themselves, working out, reading books, working on their business/career, etc. You should be doing the same thing right now. Get a pipeline of men to date and vet out for the potential of a relationship down the road when things improve. Stay safe and take care of you…
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/20 04:43 AM
5

I’m actually not ready for marriage now, I want to get married in a year or two maximum. Here's the deal... First, you just said you aren't ready for marriage now. You basically answered your own question here. Second, there are no guarantees that you will get married next year, the year after, or ever. Please understand this... Am I being too pushy and desperate? Yes, very much so. Should I avoid talking about anything related to marriage all together and wait for a year? Who says that this "re…
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/20 05:10 AM
1

My partner and I have been together for 3 years. Just out of curiosity, how long were you in the dating phase before getting into a relationship with this guy? (I.e. 5 months, 8 months, etc.) Something tells me that he has done this with many other things in your relationship before, that have not hit a nerve like this situation right here. Personally, speaking? I would be running out of this relationship and into isolation from this guy.
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/20 05:05 AM
21

Men pursue women who are attractive. Men keep women who are feminine. This is really key here for all the new women coming to this sub.
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/20 05:00 AM
7

I (21F) have been in a long distance relationship for over a year now. I'm going to start off and tell you that I highly recommend not getting into an LDR... Not to mention, you are 21 years old. You should be focusing on building up your life and dating different men to figure out what you are looking for from a partner in the long term. This is the time to start focusing on yourself & improving; not worrying about your LDR that is falling short.
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/20 01:14 AM
4

No... Just purchase the book or ebook. It will be a great investment and the longterm ROI will payoff in dividends.
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/20 02:57 AM
11

This advice has been thrown around here a lot (I have said it in the past), but I think you need to understand this as you move forward. Keep in mind the following: Women are the gatekeepers of sex. Men are the gatekeepers of commitment. If you want to find a HVM, then you need to be a compliment to his life and be patient during the dating phase. Make sure you are taking care of yourself (regularly) and focusing on self-care. This will help you out when navigating the sexual marketplace to get …
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/20 03:02 AM
2

This is a good question and post, OP... Ideally, if you already have a guy or two in your dating phase (i.e. Kevin from Sales, 4 months, etc.) that you are getting to know and vetting out for a potential relationship, I would move to see these men at either your place or his place. That's it. I would be really careful meeting guys out in public spaces right now; especially, if you are living in or around a metropolitan area. I'm more worried about being near large groups of people, which you sho…
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/20 05:28 AM
31

I have always found that exercising (regularly) and eating healthy (steady diet) helps a lot with anxiety and feelings along those lines.
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/20 05:24 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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