~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | Marrying a man that I love but my parents don't approve of?What it comes down to, and this is the most important part: neither me nor my boyfriend live in our home countries. We are hours and hours of flight away from our family, and we are also ethnically different than the locals. We are each other's family away from home. I think that is a great foundation of a marriage, actually. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/12/18 05:48 PM |
| 1 | Marrying a man that I love but my parents don't approve of?Thank you for your kind support and a mature listening ear! I've been needing to get this off my chest for a while. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/12/18 12:35 PM |
| 7 | Marrying a man that I love but my parents don't approve of?You did put that (poo boyfriend) situation in a better light, I never thought about it that way. I do realize it doesn't look good on my part... The good thing is I've been seeing a very helpful psychotherapist for the past three months, and I've never been happier until now. I hope giving everything (myself and my relationship) more time will allow myself to really understand what I should do. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/12/18 12:19 PM |
| 3 | Marrying a man that I love but my parents don't approve of?He has some savings, yes, but it's probably not enough to live off of for more than six months. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/12/18 11:51 AM |
| 6 | Marrying a man that I love but my parents don't approve of?I also understand that my parents are concerned that my boyfriend is 35 and a little behind in his finances, but the argument I can counter is...what about my issues? I'm a 29yo that has jumped continents and have self-harm scars...am I any better? I totally get your point, but I personally don't think I'm THAT great of a catch either...(not trying to be self-deprecating but I definitely acknowledge my past craziness). | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/12/18 11:50 AM |
| 19 | Marrying a man that I love but my parents don't approve of?That was a guy that I dated when I was broken up with my current boyfriend. Yeah, I definitely very, very carefully considered that one...... And to follow up with that story, the poo guy was so rich and high status (Ivy League and Hollywood connections, parents working in government and large broadcasting companies) but no amount of money or status could buffer the fact that he loved poo. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/12/18 11:45 AM |
| 5 | Marrying a man that I love but my parents don't approve of?We are definitely still in the dating stages, because we both had some serious personal issues in the past that hindered our lives (his was financial, mine was mental illness). But we have rekindled our relationship and we are in love with each other. I agree that maybe it needs some more time, and that going slowly is the best way, not to push it like I did in the past. My boyfriend also agrees marriage is serious and he wants to take it slow. He is someone who is aware of divorce rape. Right n… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/12/18 11:40 AM |
| 3 | Marrying a man that I love but my parents don't approve of?May I ask what difference of fundamental values your father disapproved of?? I'm super curious. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/12/18 11:25 AM |
| 4 | Marrying a man that I love but my parents don't approve of?Yes, we were fully on for about 1.5 years, then we were unstable / broken up for about six months (long story, but he lost his job and we were long distance). Then I went to go visit him, and we decided we were still good together. So we've been back on since then, although we're currently trying to figure out a plan for the future. I definitely can see where my parents are coming from. I realize I had some serious issues in the past that brought me to date...interesting partners. I'm willing to… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/12/18 11:15 AM |
| 4 | Marrying a man that I love but my parents don't approve of?I am 29, and he is 35. We met when I was 26 and he was 32. No, my parents have not approved of my past partners (I had a 2.5 year relationship in college, then a 1.5 year relationship after that. The cultural differences they disapprove of? That's a very good question, and it made me really think for a bit. I was going to say the small differences first - like how he eats dinner at 9pm instead of 7:30pm, or that he goes fishing as recreation (for my family, fishing is a profession for poor peopl… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/12/18 11:12 AM |
| 1 | I'm really hard on myself and it's hindering my happiness and demeanorI think this is a really appropriate comment for me! Maybe instead of thinking "I should be a size 2 and then I'll be happy" or "I should say please and thank you to show I'm polite"...I should think "I love being fit and healthy and drinking raw vegetable juice and bouncing around" or "we should appreciate what others do for us so I should thank them." I think you're right on. Again I think I just have to start accepting who I am, not be afraid to show it, and be proud of what I love to do and … | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/10/18 04:49 PM |
| 1 | I'm really hard on myself and it's hindering my happiness and demeanorI did just start seeing a therapist, and he's really helping by getting into the root of the problem (the reason I fear being alone and feeling like I need to earn my love relates to some things in childhood). He's helping me to learn how to be happy and secure AS AN ADULT because I never learned this as a child. It's a good change from the typical "self-care" "cognitive behavioral therapy" "changing your thoughts" because I'm understanding why I feel this way - some does have to do with my inne… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/10/18 08:14 PM |
| 1 | I'm really hard on myself and it's hindering my happiness and demeanorAlso, a healthy comparison with other women might be helpful to you. I don’t mean that you should put other women down, but just observe and analyze. I do compare myself to other women, but instead of criticizing them, I criticize myself instead. My inner voice tells me - "only if you had skin like hers,""hips like hers," "those same accomplishments," "eyes like hers," "voice like hers," "mannerisms like hers," "style like hers," "humor like hers" - THEN I would be good enough. I'm struggling to… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/10/18 11:16 AM |
| 1 | I'm really hard on myself and it's hindering my happiness and demeanorThe ability to be childlike, I assume part of it is not caring so much about what the other person wants but succumbing to your personal whims. It's kinda boring, being entirely perfect. Be yourself :) Yes I think it's a self acceptance issue. I haven't accepted myself yet, because I always think I need to be MORE than what I already am...because in my head, being myself isn't good enough. I need to work on this. the fact that you want to be better everyday and are working towards it is already … | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/10/18 09:37 AM |
| 2 | I'm really hard on myself and it's hindering my happiness and demeanorI just think about what I want. With no opinion on me or what I’m doing, or did today. I just try to feel good about my desires, and feel inspired. I think this statement really resonates with me. I stress too much about my accomplishments (whether it's daily trivial accomplishments or career or long-term) or how well I did something or how many things I've done, and I realized I put too much of my self importance on these qualities instead of WHO I AM and HOW I AM. Which is really great because… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/10/18 09:34 AM |
| 2 | I'm really hard on myself and it's hindering my happiness and demeanorWhen going out, you’re giving a gift to the people who see your beauty. That's a really beautiful way of saying it! Work on your inner monologue. Right on the dot, I need to learn to speak to myself better in my own head. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/10/18 08:08 PM |
| 2 | I'm really hard on myself and it's hindering my happiness and demeanorI did have to earn my love from my mother when I was a child. She was pretty emotionally abusive, and she put a lot of her self worth into my successes. If I failed, I made her look bad. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/10/18 07:20 PM |
| 2 | I'm really hard on myself and it's hindering my happiness and demeanorfigure out what's healthy for you and the right man's attraction will come as a by-product. I think this is exactly what I need to aim for and not be AFRAID of being myself and letting a man come to me. I guess deep down I feel like I'm not worth it being loved, deep down I feel like I'm not attractive, and that's why I've stressed so much about "what men want." Don't you see any results? usually when one has good results they don't see the need to be hard on themselves any longer. I have had go… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/10/18 05:15 PM |
| 7 | I'm really hard on myself and it's hindering my happiness and demeanorThanks, I have been working on being more kind to myself, but it becomes more difficult when it involves another person. Like, if I was stressed one day and shoved food in my mouth in front of my (ex-)boyfriend, or threw a temper tantrum at him, then I feel like I "lost points" and I've ruined their impression of me. I can forgive myself, but I think I'm more worried about OTHERS forgiving me, or their impression of me when I "mess up" or lose control. There's some underlying abandonment issue t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/10/18 08:28 AM |
| 1 | I'm really hard on myself and it's hindering my happiness and demeanorThank you, I haven't heard of any of these but they sound useful. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/10/18 08:22 AM |
| 1 | I'm really hard on myself and it's hindering my happiness and demeanorMaybe because the requirements you're trying to fulfill are people's requirements. I think it may have to do with lack of acceptance of myself, maybe, because I'm always trying to "figure out what men want" and feeling like I'm completely failing all the time, even though I've done a lot of self-improvement. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/10/18 08:20 AM |
| 1 | I suffer from perfectionism/low self-worth and it's hindering my relationships.No harm done, I appreciate your comment a lot. May I ask then, from someone who seems to have a good head on his shoulders, how forgiving I should be then, to an ex-boyfriend who hasn't got his shit together and also being a child? I'm asking for hypothetical reasons and RP reasons and philosophy. Let's say an ex-boyfriend became an alcoholic and couldn't hold down a job - so is the RPW concept to still stay with him (even though he clearly hasn't figured out his shit, hasn't grown up) and love … | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/18 05:25 PM |
| 2 | I suffer from perfectionism/low self-worth and it's hindering my relationships.I know I'm crazy, and I know it's not OK. I totally know this. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do as a next step and I'm afraid I'm still going to be left alone no matter what. I've done about a decade of therapy and meds, even went off meds so that I can address the underlying issue (because I've also learned the hard way that meds don't solve the actual issue, it's just support). I'm just really frustrated, I've been trying REALLY hard, and it just feels like it's never enough, and TBH … | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/18 03:54 PM |
| 1 | I suffer from perfectionism/low self-worth and it's hindering my relationships.Thank you for the recommendation, I haven't heard of it but it's sounds thought provoking. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/18 03:40 PM |
| 1 | I suffer from perfectionism/low self-worth and it's hindering my relationships.It's a good comment. I acknowledge I'm difficult. I know it's completely on me and I've been working really hard to overcome it. Another root issue is that I feel completely empty and that's why I search for high emotions. I know it's not an excuse but it's an explanation of why I do what I do. I need to figure out why I feel empty in the first place so I don't keep searching for these manic/intense emotional dramas to fill my void. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/18 02:14 PM |
| 1 | I suffer from perfectionism/low self-worth and it's hindering my relationships.Yes, thank you for reiterating the point. I think it's a major issue that I can't accept. And it's an internal battle because I'm constantly surrounded by really creative successful men AND women that I can't keep up with (or feel I can't keep up with). And TBH in my own heart I'm totally fine just enjoying my life as it is (working as a teacher and just doing hobbies for the sake of hobbies). I don't know why I feel so insecure about who I am. Maybe that's what I need to work on. Acceptance of … | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/18 02:05 PM |
| 1 | I suffer from perfectionism/low self-worth and it's hindering my relationships.I definitely understand what you're saying and I'm trying to convince myself this is the truth. My own brother ended up with a bland boring wife. But for some reason, and I don't know why, but I feel I have to be cool or interesting, because I just don't think I can contribute anything. THAT'S probably why I strive to be "better" and interesting. I think I'm not contributing anything if I'm not. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/18 01:56 PM |
| 1 | I suffer from perfectionism/low self-worth and it's hindering my relationships.Very rarely now, but I might have a glass of wine on my own once a week. I don't go out drinking with friends, and it's been that way for about 6 years. I've pretty much tried to eliminate anything that might trigger me but in the past few years I've also learned I can't just AVOID life all together. It's not living if I literally just isolate myself because I can't handle certain stimuli. Trust me, I get a lot of people telling me I need to "loosen up" or "go crazy" or "have more reactions." I'… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/18 01:53 PM |
| 1 | I suffer from perfectionism/low self-worth and it's hindering my relationships.I'm not as funny or creative when I'm on them, and I become really boring (then I worry that I'm too boring to be in a relationship). Also I'm aware of how bad it looks to LTR-minded men. I really don't think I can get a high value man if he knows I'm taking meds. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/18 11:32 AM |
| 2 | I suffer from perfectionism/low self-worth and it's hindering my relationships.Thank you for pointing out that it's not healthy because I've convinced myself that it's my only option. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/18 11:30 AM |
| 1 | I suffer from perfectionism/low self-worth and it's hindering my relationships.I'm starting to meditate a bit more. I think that may be another issue with my anxiety. I'm not good at making decisions - generally in life, not just relationships. In the past I've been a control freak and been really aggressive in getting what I want that it's always backfired. I'm learning to take a step back and relinquish control in life. TBH I also feel like I don't have choice in whom I marry. I genuinely feel like I need to just settle for who can deal with me, because I'm aware that I'… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/18 11:16 AM |
| 1 | I suffer from perfectionism/low self-worth and it's hindering my relationships.There's a certain peace when I'm on meds/therapy but I also feel extremely empty at the same time. I think I just feel empty no matter what I do, TBH, with or without meds. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/18 11:13 AM |
| 5 | I suffer from perfectionism/low self-worth and it's hindering my relationships.Thank you for your story and I'm happy to hear someone can relate. I can objectively say I am currently right now in literally the best situation of my life, which is what makes the depression/BPD so tricky to handle. I have NOTHING to complain about. I have the best job, high salary, good work-life balance, enough free time to literally do what I want. It's like, I have everything anyone could want in a perfect life, yet I'm still really unhappy and lonely and feeling worthless. I try really ha… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/18 11:12 AM |
| 1 | I suffer from perfectionism/low self-worth and it's hindering my relationships.I'm a music teacher at a private music-only school. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/18 11:05 AM |
| 1 | Boyfriend has an extreme sexual fetishI completely understand where you're coming from and I've also thought about what you've said and have had my same suspicions. Take the money and the words “Ivy League” out of the equation, and assess everything else about him. I can almost guarantee you’re overlooking some red flags. TBH, if we take money and Ivy League out of the question, we're both actually the same. We're making the same salary (so he is NOT outearning me in an outrageous way), I'm just as well traveled as him, we're both w… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/08/18 11:37 PM |
| 1 | Boyfriend has an extreme sexual fetishI'm not sure how to answer that because who really knows what will happen in the future regarding sexual fetishes, right? It could stay the same or it could get weird. Things like standard BDSM fetishes (choking, facials, anal, roleplay) I can more or less understand why people find arousal in it. It's more that I just don't understand WHY he gets off on watching me poo. I've done some mild research and there's suggestions on scatophilia being linked to high-functioning schizophrenia (he went to… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/08/18 04:24 AM |
| 1 | Boyfriend has an extreme sexual fetishYes I understand the risk of the videos, hence making sure my face isn't in any of them. 90% it doesn't bother me but the point of the post is there's still a 10% of WTF regarding his quirks (because the poo thing is his, not mine) and I guess I'm at a crossroads of "can I overlook this and deal with it for the rest of my life if we do decide to commit to each other?" | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/08/18 03:15 AM |
| 1 | Boyfriend has an extreme sexual fetishThings have happened a bit fast but I also feel like when things are right then you have to go with the flow...you can't control attraction. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/08/18 02:53 AM |
| 1 | Advice about maintaining similar backgrounds in a marriageTo be honest - I actually prefer a family lifestyle. I cook well and I manage household duties well. The only problem is I've noticed that the men start getting bored when I don't have "something of my own" - because as an artist, my hobby IS my career. Men get bored, regardless of all the feminine talk and domesticity that RPW preaches. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/06/18 12:09 PM |
| 1 | Advice about maintaining similar backgrounds in a marriageIt is correct he did not stay with those girlfriends. He has brought up wanting children on the first date. He asked me if I was interested in marriage on the first date as well. Which is a good sign. He has not made specific statements that he values an upper class or Ivy League background for itself. I think it may have just been circumstances. I have already made it known to him my insecurities about being an ethnic minority, growing up as an immigrant, with parents coming from a poor culture… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/06/18 12:03 AM |
| 1 | Advice about maintaining similar backgrounds in a marriageRead my comment above. And yes, I have had the actual rejection. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/05/18 11:52 PM |
| 1 | Advice about maintaining similar backgrounds in a marriageYes. For instance: -Dated two culturally conservative men - but they both found my artistry too eccentric for them. We got along fine in terms of gender roles though. The other issue was that they both ended up with a woman of their same ethnicity. -Briefly dated a culturally conservative man who loved my artistry and was open to an interracial marriage (his twin brother married and had children with a Japanese woman). Unfortunately he moved and he never contacted me again. We're a 16 hour plane… | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/05/18 11:49 PM |
| 1 | Advice about maintaining similar backgrounds in a marriageI'm not really looking for someone exactly like me. I'm looking for someone who wants someone like me. I'm just having a difficult time finding someone who wants who I am. All of my "requirements" aren't really MY requirements of what I want in a partner. I'm just describing who I am. I apologize if that seemed confusing. I'm also aware it would be necessary to make concessions - it's already written in my OP. It's certainly interesting to look into finishing school though! | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/05/18 11:26 PM |
| 1 | Advice about maintaining similar backgrounds in a marriageI'm sophisticated because I know several languages and I read history books and follow current politics and I'm able to get along with pretty much anyone of any culture. I have working class manners because I'm an ethnic minority and I have grown up with a submissive mentality instead of leadership mentality. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/05/18 10:58 PM |
| 1 | Advice about maintaining similar backgrounds in a marriageIf I were you I would look toward the top end of town - the art collectors, philanthropists, classical music circles, etc. The only thing I'm worried about is that they won't want ME because I still have working class mentality and manners. Even though I'm artistic and sophisticated (but only more so than the average person, I'm not famous) I just have this assumption these top end men will want a woman who comes from a similar socioeconomic mentality as them. Also, to make it more complicated, … | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/05/18 10:27 PM |
| 4 | Advice about maintaining similar backgrounds in a marriageIn my imagination, you would do well to find an artisanal carpenter or woodworker -- someone respected for his craft, who makes his own money & knows how to be around wealthy people, but who values working with his hands & is a strong embodiment of masculine energy : ) Interesting! Thanks for the input. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/05/18 10:00 PM |
| 1 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?My father was emotionally absent my whole childhood until about college when I started to tell him my feelings, problems and anxieties. When I was younger he was mostly just a provider figure. I would say that my father enabled some of my BPD behavior (because I had a lot of symptoms during high school) because when I threw tantrums as a teenager, he basically just fixed the problem for me. So you could say I didn't really take responsibility. However in college I did start taking responsibility… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/05/18 11:14 AM |
| 1 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?It's more or less stable. Still some outbursts and anxiety but I'm the best I've ever been. I can certainly try to date financially stable men. I just have really low self-esteem and feel like a man with a job won't accept my past, even if I'm stable now. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/05/18 05:33 PM |
| 2 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?Not clear if you’re still doing recreational drugs, but that should stop now. It's been six years, so no. I was never addicted anyway, they were just recreational. As long as you are aware, treating it, responsible for your emotions and actions, and desire to be stable. Yes, I try very hard. Not perfect, but I am pretty aware and I do try. There are good men who won’t judge your past—as long as it’s past. That's good for reassurance. I know I've come a long way. I'm pretty functional now. No. Ne… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/05/18 09:42 PM |
| 1 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?it is the plain truth if you want commitment and marriage- don’t date broke men. This is what it should be - but for some reason I've convinced myself that I'm not high value enough of a woman to land a man with a stable job. I'm not ugly - probably a 7, BMI 21, educated, generally speaking I'm pleasant and nice, organized - but it seems like the only men that come back to me, the ones who want to continue to date me - all have financial problems or are freelancers. Not stable income. I feel lik… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/05/18 09:56 AM |
| 1 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?Let's use the term "fail engagement" loosely - I realize I was never engaged, but basically we were close to it, had talked about it, and it failed. I don’t understand how you can consider any relationship serious when you move to another country with no clear plan of return without your partner. It sounds like you just made a choice valuing your career over your relationship, which is fine if you actually valued your career more, but terrible if you cared about your relationship. Maybe it my ex… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/05/18 08:38 AM |
| 1 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?I can explain the failed engagements and you can tell me what you think. 1) I was in a LTR with a man, and then I went to Africa for one year for a job (was making money it wasn't volunteering). We agreed to stay together, I stayed loyal to him, he came to visit me. Then it became time to talk about what to do. I told him if he was serious about me, I would move back home. He didn't say yes or no, but I quit my job anyway, so that I could move back home. He panicked and told me I shouldn't have … | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/05/18 07:57 AM |
| 1 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?I can explain the failed engagements and you can tell me what you think. 1) I was in a LTR with a man, and then I went to Africa for one year for a job (was making money it wasn't volunteering). We agreed to stay together, I stayed loyal to him, he came to visit me. Then it became time to talk about what to do. I told him if he was serious about me, I would move back home. He didn't say yes or no, but I quit my job anyway, so that I could move back home. He panicked and told me I shouldn't have … | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/05/18 07:44 AM |
| 1 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?Uh, you're being really dramatic and taking it too seriously. I just meant someone who calls out my BS. In no way does that mean he needs to beat me up or discipline me. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/18 06:46 PM |
| 1 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?Self harm scars, suicide attempts, a variety of antidepressants, street drug use? Aren't those huge red flags? | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/18 05:03 PM |
| 3 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?I feel like I don't know how to be confident without being ego maniacal. It seems like either I think I'm worth absolutely nothing or I'm awesome (black white thinking). The good thing is when someone does compliment me I'm actually pretty humble about it. But I'm aware I come off as arrogant and aloof but I don't mean to. I'm just really reserved and self-conscious. I'm sure part of the problem is working with artists - if you aren't arrogant or don't seem like you know what you're doing, you d… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/18 03:38 PM |
| 2 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?True. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/18 03:37 PM |
| 1 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?There are three skin colored ones on my left forearm (about three inches long), and a few tiny scratches. Nothing red or anything, thank goodness. I'm more or less stable now with small bouts of depression here and there, and still some mood swings, but I'm generally functionality. Just I get sad sometimes. I always pull myself out of it. My brother married a woman who is extremely emotionally stable - and I know I'm not like that - so I just feel like if I'm not that stable, nobody wants me. Bu… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/18 12:11 PM |
| 1 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?Thank you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/18 12:05 PM |
| 1 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?Exactly. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/18 10:16 AM |
| 2 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?There's a certain type of man I hope I will find - just like you said - dominant and superior mentally and physically. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/18 10:07 AM |
| 1 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?Thank you for the vote of confidence. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/18 10:01 AM |
| 2 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?If you have been through many adversities and made a thousand mistakes but have seen why they are mistakes and are now enlightened to what the better path is, you are a much better match than someone who has not seen much temptation and therefore wouldn't likely know the what to do when faced with such things. Yes, that's very true. I've changed a lot of my ways because of my mistakes in the past. It's been six years since I did any type of street drug and I moderate my alcohol carefully. I just… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/18 10:00 AM |
| 1 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?Thanks, I hope so. I try to be the best I can be (show the good sides). I know nobody is perfect. It's just a fear I won't be accepted. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/18 09:58 AM |
| 1 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?Why am I a puzzle? Simply because I have BPD? He must be your superior mentally as well as physically, while still letting you be yourself. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/18 09:56 AM |
| 1 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?I actually think so as well. I know that I need someone very dominant. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/18 09:48 AM |
| 1 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?If a man can't look past your history to see who you are now and the progress you've made than he's not the one for you. Some men won't like your history, and others won't be bothered by it. There are enough men out there that are open to LTR's despite someone's background. Thank you. I've convinced myself that an intelligent man with a stable job and wants a family won't want someone like me with the kind of past I had. I tend to date men with delinquency because that's all I think I deserve (m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/18 09:19 AM |
| 3 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?Yes, this. I'm just dramatic and passionate when I describe things, that's all. I like to write. And all the sex was with LTRs not casual. I was "trashy" in monogamous LTRs. Thanks for being willing to see it in a different light. I do get caught up in the moment - that's who I am - lots of excitement and intense feelings. Hence the BPD. I'm actually pretty reserved and closed off around most people - I only let a certain few see the passionate emotional side of me. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/18 07:50 AM |
| 1 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?If you assume no man will want you, you won't get far. please don't listen to the guys on TRP. They are not your target audience! That's probably why I'm terrified. I'm a walking red flag, I know it, and I've already convinced myself that nobody will want me. That's why I try to make up for it with physical appearance, good sex, artistic intelligence as described. I also assume no man wants me because I feel like I'm completely flawed in every way - even though I've worked really hard to improve… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/18 07:35 AM |
| -1 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?Eh, i Just have a way with words and I'm dramatic (hence the BPD). I'm certainly not a model. I'm really not an ego maniac. If anything I have extremely low self-esteem that requires an overly confident attitude in order to compensate or in order to feel like I'm normal and on an equal level. I'm sorry if it came off like I'm arrogant but the truth is the exact opposite. Although I would say I am objectively very passionate. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/18 07:30 AM |
| 2 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?Thank you | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/18 10:22 PM |
| 3 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?The guys at TRP don't seem to think so. That's why I'm worried. I'm a woman with BPD and on meds and self harm scars. I'm exactly what they warned against even though I'm a functioning adult (more or less) now. My RMV is already down because of the past, no matter how much I'm able to control my BPD. It just seems like I won't be able to find anyone because of my red flags. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/18 10:02 PM |
| 1 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?Have you read any of the other comment threads where I admit my mistakes and beat myself up because I haven't improved enough? I simply stated I tried therapy and realize there's more to be done, but it doesn't change the fact that I harmed myself in the past. Of course I can change the future. And I have done a lot of work (more to be done) but I'm simply saying no matter how much progress I've had, it doesn't change the fact that I have self harm scars. And that's takes my RMV down by a lot al… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/18 09:59 PM |
| 2 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?I've stopped over seven years ago. It's in the past but I'm saying the past doesn't change. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/18 09:58 PM |
| 1 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?Sure. I'll just list off epiphanies I had, not the specific experience. 1) That to be able to be in an intimate relationship, there is a certain level of vulnerability - showing everything about yourself including your flaws and insecurities - to be able to even build a relationship together. 2) Everything in the world is connected either in relation or comparison with each other, and that's how we can continue surviving is through these relationships. They can either be interpersonal relationsh… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/18 07:42 PM |
| 1 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?Clear thinking and self importance cannot logically co-exist Very true! Thanks for your comments, they're good reminders and very positive. I'm going to continue reading the Fountainhead now :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/18 07:26 PM |
| 3 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?edit: if you are struggling and have done all these things then give yourself a break. You are doing what you are supposed to, dont pay attention to the result. Do what you are supposed to. This is what I need to hear. I read lots - Wikipedia, Ayn Rand, Marcus Aurelius, Buddhism, Bible, I gym, I'm self-aware, study languages, limited alcohol, stay away from toxic people - pretty much am doing what I'm supposed to be doing. I guess maybe I'm just being hard on myself. Thanks for that. In terms of… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/18 06:33 PM |
| 1 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?Thank you :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/18 06:30 PM |
| 1 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?Meaning, one day, if you keep working you could have emotions but run on logical thought. That's a very good point. It's not a path that's easy. You're never going to have it easy. But you need to train your mind to hold perspective and keep going. No, it's not easy at all. Especially because I've actually been through a phase where I was extremely logical and mindful - devoid of any emotions - monotone voice - and I was still pretty lonely, albeit "calm and happy." I dissociate. I can go blank … | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/18 05:56 PM |
| 1 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?Yep therapy on and off for years and years. I don't think you're reading my post. The point is that I've come a long way to becoming functional (of course there's still room to work on issues). But I still have a bad past, can someone still get past that and accept me for who I am? | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/18 05:41 PM |
| 2 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?It's not easy but its possible. Remember though, meds are stepping tools, theres no meds out there for BPD that have any longterm efficacy. They aren't meant to fix anything. They are meant to stabilize so you can work on yourself. Yeah definitely. I actually went off meds a few years ago for this very reason - I realized I just popping a pill and not actually solving my issues. I've actually already come a long way but there's still a lot more to work on. I'm back on meds because no matter what… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/18 05:39 PM |
| 1 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?See if you can get in the habit of caring less about who you are and more about what you want out of life. Hmm, interesting and provoking comment actually. I struggle with always writing and rewriting my "moral code" and sticking to it. That may be what drives me to question my identity often. I've changed cultures so often I don't know what's right anymore. For example even when I'm in a good place/mood, I'm still very excitable. But I'm surrounded by people (and my parents) who tell me it's "w… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/18 05:35 PM |
| 1 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?That's good to know! | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/18 04:08 PM |
| 0 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?Personally I think the bigger problem might be that once you are able to get someone to accept your past, boredom might once again kick in due to the lack of challenge. I agree, because historically I've always been trying to run away from a problem, and my life would revolve around that. Or I've jumped continents. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/18 04:08 PM |
| 1 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?And a man isn't going to be turned off by this? He won't run away? | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/18 04:06 PM |
| 3 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?Literally all the time. I've also lived in four different continents so I've been influenced by so many cultures I don't even know what's correct anymore. I also spend a lot of time feeling lonely and empty. I can have fun and laugh, but the high goes down and I feel empty hours later. I can have amazing sex and be cuddling with my boyfriend and feel empty laying there with his arms around me. I'm not sure what to do about that. I try really hard to put appreciative thoughts in my head but the e… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/18 04:01 PM |
| 1 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?I've been on and off meds for 15 years and on and off therapy and currently back on meds. I've come a long way to be a functioning adult. The point of the post is that I'm afraid - even though I'm the happiest and healthiest I've ever been - that a man won't be able to get past my history. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/18 12:41 PM |
| 0 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?I've been on and off meds for 15 years. I stopped taking them for about 3 years because I'm aware it's a hindrance to my RMV. Nobody is going to want to wife someone who takes mood stabilizers. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/18 12:38 PM |
| -9 | I have BPD. Am I a lost cause?I'm on meds and therapy. I don't think highly of myself. I'm just pointing out that I have an awful past - and even if I work through my issues - could a man look past what I went through? Even if I'm much more happy and healthy now? That's the concern. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/18 12:35 PM |
| 4 | Dealing with low self-esteemIf you're actively working on your inner problems already, something that might be helpful to temporarily boost your self-esteem is lifting your mood. Exercise, good music, funny movies/TV shows, spending time with a funny friend, good night's sleep, basically anything that makes you laugh and smile can help lift your mood and make you feel good in general. It's not a substitute for tackling the inner problems but it can give you a boost while you are working on the foundation. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/01/18 02:30 PM |
| 3 | Afraid of vulnerabilityHmmmmmm that's a very good point actually. Vulnerability being the risk of opening up and being rejected. You just changed my viewpoint. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/12/17 11:59 PM |
| 1 | I'm afraid my depression is going to hinder me from getting marriedOnly concern yourself with things that are within your control. In this case, you can control how well you manage your depression, and it seems like you're doing that. Thanks I do try really hard. It's not always successful and I have some periods where I start to hide or withdraw but I know it will always be OK in the end. What you absolutely don't want to do (especially since you're dating someone at the moment) is let your fears consume you to point that you act out in ways that drive your pa… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/12/17 03:37 PM |
| 1 | I'm afraid my depression is going to hinder me from getting marriedThis is actually a good comment! The other day I had a minute panic attack and my boyfriend called me out on it (not in a mean way though) and I apologized and got my emotions in check. I didn't thank him but I did submit to him in that moment. You seem to fear that you're unlovable because you're a little fragile. But that fragility is feminine. It's an asset in a relationship where you play the feminine role. The fear that your fragility might make you unlovable is a feminist one. Feminism dis… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/12/17 07:17 AM |
| 2 | I'm afraid my depression is going to hinder me from getting marriedI can't emphasize enough how cute and lovable your episodes sound. They're great opportunities for your SO to play the strong stoic man with a gentle and sensitive woman. Thank you 🙈🙈🙈 | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/12/17 07:06 AM |
| 2 | I'm afraid my depression is going to hinder me from getting marriedHe does not put pressure on me because I've proved to him over time that I'm self-aware. Again it doesn't stop depressive moods or episodes from happening but he knows I'm aware and I try to correct the problem. Pressure probably comes most from myself but also past experiences of people telling me I should just "be happy" because they don't understand occasional sadness vs. chronic depression. It's made me hide it because I don't get any support when I tell anyone. I've just learned to deal wit… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/12/17 09:14 PM |
| 1 | I'm afraid my depression is going to hinder me from getting marriedI basically apologize and give him space and try to keep myself busy again (instead of clinging to him) or try to be aware of any triggers that set me off. I mean I try to improve for next time always, but nobody is perfect. I also feel pressure of having to be this perfect independent and productive and balanced person all the time when clearly I'm not (I am 80%of the time but we're all human beings and moods are normal). | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/12/17 05:26 AM |
| 1 | I'm afraid my depression is going to hinder me from getting marriedYes I have, and it's actually the exact strategy I use to "control" my depression (eg I will sense that I'm getting this out of body experience or anxiety, be aware of it, then "direct" my thoughts elsewhere). It just doesn't stop it from happening though. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/12/17 05:35 PM |
| 1 | I'm afraid my depression is going to hinder me from getting marriedGood question. Sometimes I do take it out on him, but I would say it's 20% of the time. The other 80% I manage by myself (exercise, hobbies, calling friends, Netflix, just anything to be distracted and keep my mind busy). I tend to take it out on him by being clingy or ranting at him. I've caught myself and started to be aware of it though but it still happens from time to time. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/12/17 06:44 AM |
| 1 | I'm afraid my depression is going to hinder me from getting marriedHave you ever tried identifying triggers for your mood swings? If possible, maybe there is a pattern you can use to help reduce them. Also, when you have a partner it's okay to communicate immediate needs or simply ask them to give you space. Yeah, that's a good point that I haven't been actively thinking of. I have limited alcohol much more this year (I'm not a binge drinker but I get crying bouts or temper tantrums if I have even one glass of wine sometimes). If I eat too much sugar I feel awf… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/12/17 07:16 PM |
| 1 | I'm afraid my depression is going to hinder me from getting marriedI was diagnosed with depression every few years since age 13. Basically I would be depressed, a psychiatrist would diagnose me and put me on meds, then I'd be OK for a while, relapse...repeat cycle. I've seen several different psychiatrists before so this diagnosis is not new to me. I can honestly say most of it was situational stressors (not having a boyfriend, failing and not having success in school, being overweight, not thinking for myself, feeling ugly) but I've solved all of that by now. … | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/12/17 07:07 PM |
| 1 | I'm afraid my depression is going to hinder me from getting marriedOh interesting! I didn't realize autoimmune conditions or gut conditions could cause depression. How did you realize it might not have been depression? | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/12/17 07:00 PM |
| 2 | I'm afraid my depression is going to hinder me from getting married(Also, can we just take a second to note the fact that a lot of people have tendencies towards mood swings, even without having mental illnesses. The fact that you know how to manage yours already puts you a step ahead of all those people, with and without mental illnesses, who don't know how to deal with theirs.) Thank you!!!!!!! This makes me feel more positive. It's a lot of work to manage it but it does get easier from time to time. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/12/17 01:49 PM |
| 1 | I'm afraid my depression is going to hinder me from getting marriedThanks, I mean I know I have many other good qualities to make up for it. I will always strive for improvement and I keep going, I'm a nice girl and have interests. Pleasant to be around usually. I do have a good control on my depression but I also acknowledge it will never go away because it's not situational at all. No matter how much I practice gratitude for what I have in my life and enjoying the moment, I tend to have these "out of body existential crisis moments" where I'm not present. I k… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/12/17 11:12 AM |
| 1 | I'm afraid my depression is going to hinder me from getting marriedMy self-esteem issues stem from having this "flaw" of being chronically depressed.... | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/12/17 11:04 AM |
| 1 | I'm afraid my depression is going to hinder me from getting marriedThe thing is I've seen multiple professionals since I was a teenager and been on lots of medication. I know myself, I know what I've struggled with and this is the strongest I've been without medication. Problem is I just still have mood swings. I can handle them but I'm saying they'll never go away. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/12/17 07:19 AM |
| 1 | I'm afraid my depression is going to hinder me from getting marriedExercise usually I'm doing weightlifting, and I do go out for walks here and there. Diet generally whole foods, I don't eat snacks (meaning crisps or cookies). Typically meat vegetables, grains are pasta or bread, sometimes fruit and occasional chocolate. I don't eat packaged foods at all. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/12/17 07:17 AM |
| 1 | How entitled should you be?These are more tasks that your boyfriend will not experience as signs of affection from you. Try to think about doing the kind of things that will actually bring a smile to his face. Good comment! I'm going to think a lot about this. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/11/17 08:21 PM |
| 1 | How entitled should you be?...you start doing things that will make him smile. Create a feeling of affection for you in him. Once you do that, it is okay to let him know that it makes you happy be be spoiled once in a while, but do not demand that he does so. Yeah this is good advice! Keep in mind that what they do for you will typically not be the same as what you do for them. They will typically express their love in different ways. Learn to look for how he expresses it. True, very true. My current boyfriend will take m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/11/17 10:47 AM |
| 1 | How entitled should you be?This is good but I guess I mean for instance: I grew up with a very good, upper middle class family, parents have never gotten into trouble, I'm gainfully employed and went to a Big 10 school. Is it too much to ask for a husband who makes a stable income, has a good head and heart and loyalty? I don't ask for a rich husband (actually I know a lot of rich people and the lifestyle isn't as glamorous, it's full of stress and competition and unhappiness). So how do I know this is too much to ask for… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/11/17 10:12 AM |
| 1 | How entitled should you be?The most important thing is to see yourself clearly, with a detached sense of criticism and appraisal. How can I (or other women) judge our self worth objectively? We will always have an inflated sense of ego but how can we really judge what we deserve based on us as people? | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/11/17 05:30 AM |
| 1 | How entitled should you be?I'm going to add my two cents and the reason I ask: I have never had a (major) problem with entitlement, but time and time again I see many women who are nagging and demanding and receive everything they want from their boyfriends/husbands. Just as an example: I always offer to pay, because I'm aware of the "using the man for his money" issue nowadays. However I PREFER to be treated, but then somehow the man takes advantage and we start splitting more and I don't feel like a special princess any… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/11/17 05:05 PM |
| 1 | Is it my hamster?Because the point of the post is about how we all have weaknesses, and I'm afraid that if I show weakness then I'll never get married. That's the anxiety. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/11/17 10:46 PM |
| 1 | Is it my hamster?I don't feel like analyzing this that deeply...I know that our teasing is harmless and mostly for flirtatious reasons. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/11/17 10:42 PM |
| 1 | Is it my hamster?We enjoy teasing each other, but he doesn't do it to enjoy seeing a reaction out of me specifically. I know what you are saying and he is not teasing me in a malicious way. Just sometimes I take things too seriously, but I think it's normal if two people (can even be friends not just a couple) tease each other too much. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/11/17 10:38 PM |
| 1 | Is it my hamster?Yes, I stated above that I am actively working on it and at least I catch myself before it gets out of hand and I apologize. I'm aware of it. I would just like to know that this isn't going to be a deal breaker and that a not perfect woman who has occasional emotional instability can still be seen as wife material. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/11/17 10:30 PM |
| 1 | Is it my hamster?Emotional outbursts I mean temper tantrums, but no screaming. I usually catch myself after a few minutes so it doesn't get out of hand, but does happen. No rolling on the ground... The fights are trivial - I'll get offended by his teasing occasionally and then yell at him. I know it's bad. It doesn't happen all the time but sometimes his teasing hits a nerve/my ego and that's when I react. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/11/17 10:20 PM |
| 3 | ProjectingYes exactly. Vetting for a LTR can be a game too. Slowly showing your abilities and qualities over time. Vetting takes time anyway....we are not at an age of arranged marriage anymore. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/17 11:30 AM |
| 7 | ProjectingI think men like earning things though. Men like challenges. It's only if the reward wasn't so great then the chase wasn't worth it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/17 08:58 AM |
| 6 | ProjectingMakes sense, I've always noticed I'm the most attractive to men when I'm busy with my own life. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/17 08:57 AM |
| 8 | ProjectingFor LTR!!!! Tons of men who chase women during an LTR! | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/09/17 10:42 PM |
| 8 | ProjectingCan I please ask this, but do men really want a kind woman? I ask because I've seen so many men chase after a bitchy woman who ignores him. Then why?? | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/09/17 06:45 PM |
| 1 | Getting relationship anxietyThanks, it's such a dilemma and difficult because now I want to impress him and show him I'm worth it!!! Aaaaaaaa falling in love... | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/09/17 12:42 PM |
| 1 | RPW and relationships with your parentsMe too! My parents weren't totally bad but I had a lot of bad habits growing up, for example overeating because my mother bought so much junk food. And my father was a breadwinner but was maybe too soft at times. My boyfriend eats really well and is disciplined in his diet and work schedule. He's always going going going and he never complains about stupid things. He doesn't have patience for women that whine which is really great (I'm not a huge whiner but my mom is a nagging shrew and my dad j… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/08/17 05:32 PM |
| 5 | RP TruthsI get shamed when I don't clean my plate and shamed for taking a small portion of dessert, and shamed for sharing a sandwich with someone. People tell me I'm beating myself up or that I have low self-esteem when I say I want to lose 7lbs. There's too much "love yourself for who you are (read: even if you're obese)." I'm not naturally thin so I have to work extra hard at it. I get shamed for working hard at it. And men nowadays are totally OK with women being overweight. I acknowledge that no wom… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/08/17 10:37 PM |
| 2 | Reiterating RPWVery true actually!!!!! | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/07/17 10:30 PM |
| 1 | Are men more likely to be committed partners if they've played the field before?Ask the question in reverse (amazing how rarely people do that): Should a man marry a woman with little relationship history or one with three prior divorces? The answer is similar - there's a sweet spot where the woman has had enough LTR experience to understand what she wants and how to deal with it, but not so failed that she's essentially wasted and jaded. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/07/17 12:29 AM |
| 1 | Is confidence overrated?I'm on the fence with this one although I can definitely see what you're saying. I spend a good few years in my mid-20's being really depressed and insecure, and it totally threw off guy's attraction to me. I feel like I've attracted more guys being fashionable and confident. However I have also observed some women who are very insecure and not that put together yet men are attracted because she's vulnerable and responsive. I have also witnessed women who stay single because they're too childish… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/07/17 05:43 PM |
| 6 | Are men more likely to be committed partners if they've played the field before?Commitment, for most men, high character or not, usually happens IMHO, when they feel "it's time" Is Woman X the right girl? Odds are, she's there at the right time. I think for both men and women it's about the right time though, don't you think? Plenty of women have fun college boyfriends (even if they didn't ride the CC, you can still have a LTR that doesn't turn into marriage). I do know many men who met marriage worthy women at some point in their lives but simply because they weren't secur… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/07/17 12:07 PM |
| 1 | How can I be less judgmental?And anyways, why are you so stuck on right vs wrong? Good point, I suppose I tend to live life with a set of rules and that's how I can decide things for myself, does that make sense? Again I used to be VERY open minded and that's exactly how I got myself into trouble, actually. Now I'm strict about some things (like don't hang out with people who have drug problems, for example, because they can really pull you down). I'm pretty open culturally though (my friends are all international and I've … | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/07/17 12:49 PM |
| 1 | How can I be less judgmental?No? | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/07/17 04:47 PM |
| 1 | How can I be less judgmental?Can you clarify ego death? | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/07/17 12:29 PM |
| 3 | How can I be less judgmental?Thanks, I also think I am so judgmental because I think used to be very easily swayed by other people's opinions and I was a pushover. But now that I've seen a lot, I've come up with my own morals and values so when I see other people doing the opposite around me, I have to really stand my ground not to give in, does that make sense? | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/07/17 07:59 AM |
| 1 | Cold feet or red flags?If you focus on being a really good partner, he'll be happy. This is very true. Your idea of perfect probably isn't his idea of perfect anyway. Also very true. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/06/17 05:57 PM |
| 1 | Cold feet or red flags?No offense taken. I wrote in another comment that I suffered from severe depression in my early 20's so it's not a surprise to me people commented regarding my emotional instability/anxiety. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/06/17 05:56 PM |
| 1 | Cold feet or red flags?Not ok. Telling and venting is one thing but taking it out on you is not. He's not taking it out on me. He just vents to me. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/06/17 01:15 PM |
| – | Cold feet or red flags?Because I'm 28 and slowly deteriorating. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/06/17 08:48 AM |
| 3 | Cold feet or red flags?I suffered from severe depression in my early 20's which inhibited me from maturing "normally" during that period of time, so yes, I believe it. And I would say I had similar anxieties even with my ex-boyfriend, when I was 24, they just haven't gone away. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/06/17 08:07 AM |
| 3 | Cold feet or red flags?Yes. I suffered from severe depression in my early 20's and now that I've got it under control, I still suffer from anxiety. I have irrational fears from time to time. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/06/17 08:03 AM |
| – | Cold feet or red flags?Well, to him? He's the first man that I felt comfortable to show my inner vulnerable self with all my flaws and yet he still loves me, and I also support him with his ambitions and the way he lives life, he gives me something that I don't have in my life that I can't get myself, this sort of inner fire whereas I'm typically the meek type of person. He's also supportive of my interests and what I want to do in life, and I'm also interested in what he wants from life too. He is protective and cari… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/06/17 09:07 PM |
| – | Cold feet or red flags?I do actually have my own hobbies and friends, but I guess I have painted this picture that when we marry then he has to come home every night to me and I have to get dinner ready perfectly every night. I think the problem is my concept of marriage. He doesn't seem so concerned though. He just told me we'd continue the same life but sometimes I'd cook for two and when we have children then I cook for more. I think I'm just nervous because I feel like I have to be the perfect wife. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/06/17 06:16 PM |
| – | Cold feet or red flags?I'm 28 and he's 35. He's pretty responsible with his money yes. No debt on either sides. That's a good point about the dinner example and I think that was his intention, but it came off like he was brushing me off. I do know he never tries to bother me or make me life difficult. We have a pretty good relationship in general and I do realize nobody is perfect and all marriages will have disagreements. He has proved to have a calm head when we do have disagreements though and he never holds a grud… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/06/17 06:09 PM |
| – | Cold feet or red flags?I'm 28 and he's 35. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/06/17 05:45 PM |
| – | How can I be less judgmental?I understand this but I think the reason I'm so judgmental is because I actually went through a lot of different viewpoints. Then finally I discovered what I thought was right, and I guess now I'm snooty about it. But I suppose I can change my reaction to people giving different viewpoints or having different preferences. Instead of turning my nose up I can just say how they made a good choice for themselves. | /r/RedPillWomen | |
| – | How can I be less judgmental?Sounds like a lot of psychological projection. You seem insecure with your own life and project those insecurities onto others. Wow, I never thought about it that way! Yes, I used to be insecure about looking unattractive/overweight so I put a lot of effort into dressing well and strictly monitoring my weight now. Same with success - I used to struggle with depression/failure and now I'm proud of having gotten out of it. You don't know other people's struggles and you might be really surprised i… | /r/RedPillWomen | |
| – | My boyfriend likes that I'm smartIn my opinion, any secure alpha, who is intelligent himself, would want an intelligent woman. That's true, he's not put off by my accomplishments and encourages me to grow and push myself. In regards to declaring your own intelligence, I like the Mary Cooper quote from The Big Bang Theory: "It's okay to be smarter than everybody else, but you can't go around pointing it out." I don't think this is gender specific, though. It's just a good rule for keeping polite company. Good point! I can honest… | /r/RedPillWomen |
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