dadeeeooo Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
10	A bright spot		dadeeeooo	/r/Divorce_Men	20/11/20 03:45 PM
9	The Sh$t hit the fan		dadeeeooo	/r/Divorce_Men	10/08/18 03:51 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	When did you realize it I knew when I proposed that we had no business getting married. And she didn’t admit the same until 4 years after we separated. Now we’re still friends and a good coparenting team but it took some doing.	/r/Divorce_Men	14/06/24 07:21 AM
1	Do I want to know? *96%	/r/Divorce_Men	02/06/24 10:33 PM
1	Do I want to know? While I agree with this. These type of blanket statements and absolutes always make me cringe a bit. I get that patterns and stats don’t lie, but it leaves no space for people to change and grow. It’s almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy. I think it’s helpful to some people but not to others to approach things with such simplicity and black/white pov. For some reason I want to dig deeper and know more. I want to unpack the why. What caused it. Why it happens. What can be salvaged. Maybe that’s…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/06/24 03:44 PM
1	Is there really an out I’ve dated therapists and they are just as flawed and emotionally unbalanced at times as the rest of us when it comes to their personal lives. They’re trained to assess and assist others, with the convenience of anonymity and zero attachment. Couples therapists factor this in and are meant as protection to both from manipulation. Don’t discredit that. If there is no chance to salvage the marriage or no desire left in you to work on things then you’ll need to take the necessary steps to start a s…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/05/24 04:34 PM
1	Too fast or am I good? Much too fast to actually process. I’m very similar in my pacing and eagerness to move on so I can certainly relate. A few things worth considering: You may have processed on a surface level, but that’s just the start, this runs deep and you’ll need to really unpack this and fully understand how it relates to any trauma you may have accumulated earlier in life. Therapy and the type of reflection born from loneliness and the confrontation of your feelings can be so cathartic and liberating. But y…	/r/Divorce_Men	27/05/24 01:14 PM
2	I just can't seem to get over her You don’t have to “get over” it. You can always treasure that time you shared and have gratitude for the experience. You have to get through it. Just sit in it. Let it sting. Let the discomfort in. Accept it. Acknowledge it. Name it when you see it. Let it do its thing. Run its course. Put your head down. One foot in front of the next. Do your work. Love yourself. Build legos or bike around or take up carpentry or join a pool league or a bowling league. Just focus on you. Focus on your kids. Mak…	/r/Divorce_Men	24/05/24 03:41 AM
7	Why don’t men go on “healing journeys”? I’m on one! It’s great. Bad breakup so I got tf out of dodge with month long Airbnb rentals in the country. It’s been amazing. I’m only an hour away from city and able to drive in to pick up kiddo on my weekends. She loves it out here. I’m learning to love myself more and the lack of easy access to distractions combined with my laziness make me stay in and cook and read and build legos. It’s giving 40-year old virgin. It’s a vibe. On my second month. Even got on dating apps and matched with some…	/r/Divorce_Men	22/05/24 01:42 AM
5	What is “enough”? Wow. I just came back to the sub to drop a question about a conundrum I'm having myself after 1 year of separation and I legitimately read this and thought it was something I had posted a while back!!! Uncanny. Yes, definitely, I feel this and I'm certain many others have to. The guilt is crippling and even worse, it causes me to continue to support her financially which is only enabling her to continue the same pattern of behavior that prevents her from getting her shit together. There ar…	/r/Divorce_Men	23/04/19 02:43 AM
2	Did anyone have any doubts before you got married? I certainly had doubts. I just didn't appreciate how serious they were and neglected to heed the warning signs. I was so blinded by the (sometimes self-imposed) pressure from society and friends and family to settle down that I failed to give those red flags any merit. Or if I did, I figured it would all work itself out. She denies having any of these doubts, but I don't think she's being honest about that. The reality is that I was too young to make such a long term decision and even though w…	/r/Divorce_Men	13/02/19 08:56 PM
3	The Sh$t hit the fan Literally have the divorce mediator tabs open as I write this.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/08/18 05:30 PM
1	The Sh$t hit the fan Thank you for taking the time. This was really helpful to read. I'm definitely an idealist at heart and my parents had a relatively amicable divorce that I always was proud of. I don't want to give up entirely on that fantasy, but I also know that it's important to move on and give her time to heal. Focusing on the kid is my new priority. I think I was doing a shitty job of that in the beginning when I got excited about dating, but after a few months I've seen the error in my ways and settled do…	/r/Divorce_Men	10/08/18 05:29 PM