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dadstartingover_com Archive

View 0 posts and 68 comments by dadstartingover_com on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I hear this one ALL the time.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 05:01 PM
5

ALL of that comes back post-divorce and when you're on the market again. You can't compete with NEW. We're wired for NEW. This is why long-term monogamy is a challenge. See: The Coolidge Effect. Women are susceptible to this, some even say more than men. Men have a baseline level of libido (thank you, testosterone) that gives us the ability to have spontaneous arousal with our long-term mate. There doesn't appear to be such a mechanism in your average gal. Novelty is key for female spontaneous a…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 06:05 PM
7

The giant elephant in the room that nobody seems to talk about until AFTER you're already married, have the kids, etc (and even then it's rarely uttered outside of relationship-oriented self-help talk): Sexuality between a couple naturally diminishes once safety, security, familiarity, and predictability set in. The vast majority of couples aren't able to match the same level of sexual intensity they had when dating. If you want to see some semblance of the honeymoon stage, it takes some skills,…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 02:43 PM
12

Anecdotally, I have spoken to many former "players" who finally decided to "settle down" with a non-crazy and secure woman who finally gave him a sense of normalcy. Like most long-term monogamous relationships, the sex life dwindles with time (especially after kids) and the former Mr. Playboy does NOT take that well... and those dudes cheat like crazy.
/r/BlackPillScience26/06/25 03:18 PM
15

This is cheating wife 101. More girls nights out. More time away from family. Seems to have lost her maternal instinct. “I don’t have feelings for you anymore.” She has detached completely. I wouldn’t so easily allow her to take the kid. Your child is going to need a stable foundation for their home life. If with mom, they’re going to see a lot of the babysitter or grandparents. Her partying days are far from over. Been there, done that. It’s not pretty.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/19 12:17 PM
1

Very well put.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/19 11:15 PM
1

I've written a couple of e-books that I sell on my site, as well as many posts. Check out my username.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/19 11:12 PM
2

Agree with it all. I’ve written extensively on the subject and have come to the same conclusions. Top two things that kill a monogamous sex life: Marriage Kids Being a long-term sexy couple takes luck, a lot of hard work and a lot of know-how (or “game” if you want to call it that). A VERY small portion of married couples can make it work. Every single married man I know is in a dead bedroom ... with the exception of one. They’re swingers.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/19 10:54 PM
8

She’s BEEN dating already.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/19 02:20 AM
4

The previous lovers elicited a sense of safety and open sexuality that her later Provider partner could never do. Most women will claim to have matured and grown out of that phase in their life. Most of these women have and elaborate secret fantasy life that would shock her Provider partner. This is brought out later if an affair is discovered. This is an incredibly common scenario with men that experience infidelity. “She had a lot more experience than me. We were never that sexual. She says sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/19 06:55 PM
6

No. She’s dead. Treat her that way.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/18 07:28 PM
3

Amen. You can be whoever the hell you want to be. How about "really great dad who turned his life around and became this badass dude everyone looks up to"? Warning: Stay away from women for a while. They will just harm your efforts and you'll be right back to square one.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/18 03:51 PM
2

She's impulsive. She's probably a little manic with her up and down behavior. She will suck dry the resources of loved ones and move on to the next victim. And the next. And the next.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/18 03:49 PM
5

Most wife affairs begin with some kind of life-changing situation. Could be something as simple as they got a promotion at work (introduced to new group, making more money, losing respect for husband), death in the family, job loss, husband loses job... Every single time I talk to a guy whose wife cheated on him he always points out some small event that flipped the switch and broke down their wife's boundaries. The failed grad course could've been it for your situation. She probably has little …
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/18 03:46 PM
13

Another man is usually to blame for such a sudden behavioral switch. Seven Signs Your Wife is Cheating
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/18 09:33 AM
10

Your situation is far from unusual. Read: https://dadstartingover.com/wife-wants-open-marriage/ "I wish she would've told me the exact moment she was unhappy instead of leading me on for so long." No, it doesn't work that way. She had to get all her ducks in a row (a new partner/lover/provider) first before she can fully detach. Your reaction is also completely normal. You're addicted to your wife. More bluntly, you're addicted to a woman who has treated you with disdain and wants absolutely zer…
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/18 02:42 PM
3

Thanks for the kind words and for sharing the website! Very much appreciated. Seeing posts like this makes the last few years of articles, podcasts and emails with dozens of men all worth it. ​
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/18 01:43 AM
8

You'll read more and more on the topic and learn that all the stories are the same. I had a wife of 15 years, too. We had three kids. She got promoted up at work, lost her respect for me, found a new man and left right away. 15 year marriage and 20 years of partnership gone, poof, just like that. I was beyond pathetic at that point. Rock bottom. Here I was taking care of three kids (she was off with the dude and work most of the time), getting on Tinder and other dating sites looking for validat…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/18 08:41 PM
38

Your life... is a video game. You take the controller, you push buttons in a certain combination at a certain point in time, and you get X as a result. If you don't... game over. You got the controller in your hand, but you're screaming at it hoping it does what you want it to. Look over at what your buddy is doing. Watch. Learn. Do that. "It's not that easy, dude." Actually, it is. That's what's so daunting. It's simple. It's unromantic. It's not "deep" and "thoughtful". It's action. It's swall…
/r/seduction05/12/17 04:26 PM
46

This is passive aggressiveness. "I feel a certain way about your behavior but I'm too scared to tell you overtly. I'm scared at what your reaction will be, and the thought of losing you terrifies me. Therefore, I will only hint at these feelings I have and act sneaky in the hopes that it will do the trick." You have to be blunt. "Baby, I love you... but your appearance and lack of energy and focus is very unattractive to me. I'm sure you would feel the same way if I quit my job or gained a ton o…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/08/17 10:58 PM
2

Listen to this: What do you do if you catch your wife cheating?
/r/askTRP06/08/17 10:47 PM
12

You'll get no satisfaction from showing her how good you have it. Pretend she died and forget all about her. Rise above the petty behavior.
/r/askTRP19/07/17 02:04 PM
2

Putting your head in the sand doesn't change the fact that you are married to an unfaithful woman and you are REWARDING her for by still calling yourself her husband. Your wife flirts and texts other men (and probably a lot more than that). You called her out on it. She continues doing it. Your solution is to shut up about it and pretend it doesn't bother you. By not doing anything about it, you feel that your marriage will turn around and she will stop doing all that bad stuff and focus more on…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/07/17 01:49 PM
1

I was low 300's and felt like shit. Now around 1,200 and a million times better.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/17 01:00 PM
1

https://www.privatemdlabs.com/
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/17 01:00 PM
16

Women have needs. Lots of them. These needs pop up sporadically and have to be addressed on a regular basis. It's ok to miss one every now and then... but miss the same need regularly and she WILL find somebody or some thing to fill the void. Skinny guy in rock band? Alpha dude didn't fulfill her "just be fun and spontaneous and not give a shit" need. Relationship NEEDS
/r/askTRP12/05/17 12:09 PM
3

Ah, the ol' "Do I put my foot down? What if I look butthurt and needy? Wouldn't a real man just divorce immediately?" scenario. Here's my take. She inched right up to that inappropriate line and quickly crossed over it. The time of being amused and cocky about the situation have passed. "Oh, you are having lunch with Bob? Sweet. Have him over for dinner next week! I could use some more guy friends. Does he like football?" Now you are in "cover your ass" and ultimatum territory. A married woman d…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/17 05:38 PM
11

I've always been introverted. I tend to gravitate to hobbies that allow me to spend time alone in thought and be creative. I do like time with friends, but much prefer one-on-one time or small groups of close friends. I'm the guy at the party who gets to know one person and become best buddies with them by the end of the night... because I sat and chatted with that ONE person for hours. To quote the Israeli girl I met at a recent party (she said this to my girlfriend) "__________ is now my new f…
/r/TheRedPill19/01/17 03:09 PM
3

She wins. She got her "closure". Let her go... be bigger than that. You took the high road and wished her well, that's all you can do. Now pretend she is dead.
/r/askTRP26/12/16 03:24 PM
2

Because you're the one with the perceived "power". See how your boss is talked about in the same way? The teacher at school? The person in power gets shit on constantly and is to blame for everything. Team behaving badly? Sure you may have one bad apple in the bunch that is infecting the group and bringing down morale... but you're the boss and it's up to you to prevent that. Your fault.
/r/askTRP24/12/16 08:08 PM
44

My first thought: You're obviously on an emotional high experiencing all these new things that are stroking your ego. I've chatted with a lot of dudes who have been fucked over by women. The typical timeline goes like this: Get fucked over -> Feel like total shit -> Look for easy relief from pain (pussy) -> Score easily -> Feel awesome -> Slowly realize that life is more than pussy and feel miserable again -> Go back to trying to fix the core shit they should have focused on way early in the pro…
/r/TheRedPill02/12/16 06:07 PM
12

Yes, I've often said that a big chunk of RP can be summed up as "Holy shit.. these bitches are just as fucking awful as we are!"
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/16 01:39 PM
1

And you simply don't put yourself in situations where something like that can happen.
/r/askTRP02/10/16 02:46 AM
1

Nah... don't be so pitiful. You were in love. It ended. It sucks. Always does. Nothing wrong with feeling like shit over lost love. That's life, kid. Two years? Who gives a fuck? You go out and be the best you. Enjoy life when you can. Experience and digest the anxiety you feel when thinking about her. Try and rationalize the feelings and see what's going on inside your head. Oh, and get laid. A lot. It helps.
/r/askTRP30/09/16 02:32 PM
3

Years ago I discovered my ex-wife's infidelity. Happened while we were on a family beach vacation. Two years after the fact I returned to the beach with my kids and new girlfriend. As soon as I smelled that ocean... Panic. It wasn't bad fall on the ground and piss myself panic... But the heart was racing and that old gut feeling was back. I just sat and digested my thoughts for a while. Went back a year after that... No anxiety. It just takes time.
/r/askTRP27/09/16 09:29 PM
4

So sorry for your loss. She sounded like a great woman. Love your kid with everything you have, and forget about other women. You'll just grow more and more bitter.
/r/TheRedPill21/09/16 02:03 PM
2

I always did on the first date.
/r/askTRP18/09/16 03:02 AM
2

Yes. It's part of who you are. Hiding it so that you get laid? Nah. You put that out front and center. "I have a kid. Don't worry... I won't put you in a situation where you meet him." They don't like it? Cool. Totally their problem. On to the next one.
/r/askTRP18/09/16 02:51 AM
3

Don't hold your breath on that one, cowboy.
/r/askTRP12/09/16 08:26 PM
2

"...after this long." That's precisely why her lustful feelings towards you are waning. There is a "new relationship energy" we all feel. For some it can last for a few years. Then it just naturally dissipates. That's not a bad thing.. it just is. This is why you hear so many people online saying "What can I do to spice things up??" Translation: "I feel my new relationship energy going away big time and I'm scared." Scared because they know they have the desire in them... just not for their part…
/r/askTRP11/09/16 11:59 PM
7

You're comfortable. You need a bit of a wakeup call. I'll admit I've been lulled into comfort here a little bit the last month or so. Work... kids... more kids... the house work (single dad of three). I put work and everything else on the backburner. Then a client contacted me to say they weren't sure if we should continue on with the relationship. Fuck. That woke me up. Gotta kick things up a gear or two. More energy and focus was the result. More oomph. Ironically that carried over into other …
/r/askTRP11/09/16 02:43 PM
7

Ya know... I've done the ONS thing. I wasn't a fan. It never ended how I thought it would. I pictured sexy fun between two adults that remain on good terms and maybe decided to do it again down the road. Instead it was me, the somewhat mature adult dude... and a few broken females. I was just contributing to their unstable nature. They weren't emotionally mature enough for that kind of thing..., it was obvious.. but I was thinking with my dick and did it anyway. Afterward I was left with the pos…
/r/askTRP11/09/16 02:39 PM
2

Notice that he got the vasectomy and denied her the storybook ending of having kids. Gee... could it be that he was subconsciously picking up a ton of red flags and his gut was telling him that she was broken and to not impregnate her?? Sounds to me like he was proven right and came out on top. Good for him.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/16 03:47 PM
11

Dude... you're about to go down a very very crazy road. I can tell by your tone that you are a good guy. A sweet guy. You're going to get crushed. You're about to have your big "holy shit" life moment. I'm sorry you have to go through it. Everybody here knows how this is going to end because we've seen it a hundred times.
/r/askTRP08/09/16 02:35 PM
2

Cut her loose, son. She's 20. She needs to get out there and meet other dudes. That's what she's telling you. She's rewriting your sexual history and talking about "needing time". This is completely textbook. You're a hypersexual 23 year old. This will only get worse and you will go nuts.
/r/askTRP07/09/16 02:42 PM
3

I would've agreed about five years ago. Completely. Since I went through my big "holy shit" moment in life, my eyes were opened. Jesus Christ are there pieces of shit people in ALL walks of life. Church? LOL! That's where you find the biggest deviants (my first post-divorce experience was with a bible-thumping seemingly perfect christian girl who was engaged). Cheaters, swingers, the whole nine yards. Corporate executives? Please.. they're the worst (like the attorney I met who cheated on her hu…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/16 12:35 PM
1

It's all about "score keeping" when it comes to men. This may not apply to you or me, but it does apply to most: The man's score is based on how many chicks he bangs. The hotter the better. Yes, it's that shallow and simple. So let's say we have a 5 year experiment. Send the stereotypical nice "Beta" guy out in the world. We tell him to go out and date women. Report back. We do the same with the asshole "alpha" guy. Beta reports back: "I had one awesome relationship that lasted three years. She …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/16 12:26 PM
1

Awesome! Starting with a blank slate. No better spot to be in. You can be whoever the hell you want to be. Have a blast and learn a lot about yourself in the process. Hint: don't make chicks a top priority.
/r/askTRP26/08/16 12:32 AM
3

Yes, but I never hear people saying Jim in accounting has THE HARDEST JOB IN THE WORLD.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/16 09:45 PM
2

I take care of three kids and a house all by myself (I work from home with an average of one or two meetings a week I make a two hour commute for). I do all of the little stuff needed on a daily basis to keep the ship afloat. It's not hard work. It's fucking annoying monotonous work. A monkey could do it. Been looking into having a person come in to deep clean once a week. Average is $50 for their time. It ain't construction. It's not designing a rocket. It's scrubbing floors and folding laundry…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/16 06:37 PM
1

Human behavior is insanely predictable. At the core, very primitive. A person like me who enjoys studying human behavior and psychology just loves sitting in a crowd and watching people interact. Watching how the dominate one always does the same "I am in charge" motions and how the subordinate ones fall into place. How the guy presents himself to women and how the woman goes on the defensive or opens up to him. How kids try over and over to test boundaries and parents snap and finally get physi…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/16 02:27 AM
4

Little one-sided there, but valid points. My two cents: A marriage and strict monogamy is not "natural". It does not correspond to our basic animal instincts and urges. BUT.. it is possible to have a successful long-term monogamous marriage. The problem? It takes a shit ton of work. A shit ton of setting your ego aside. A shit ton of manning the fuck up. A shit ton of continuously trying to hit the restart button and keeping those early, fresh feel good chemicals brewing in the brain. I would sa…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/16 12:58 PM
1

hy-PER-guh-mee = good hy-per-GAA-mee = bad Always drives me nuts.
/r/TheRedPill16/08/16 02:15 PM
7

Yes.. it is that person. You were duped. For so long? It's been 7 years. You got off easy.
/r/askTRP16/08/16 02:09 AM
17

"Since I know she's been loyal to me for 7 years, and 100% of the time she has been my wife"... Heh.
/r/askTRP16/08/16 02:04 AM
9

Sounds like you were a decent human being to me. Good job.
/r/askTRP13/08/16 06:26 PM
21

The "problem" area is what I call "the rub". You have to jump through hoop after hoop to get your wife to be attracted to you... and now you're not so attracted to her. And you resent her for all the shit you go through to get crumbs from the table. And women wonder why we have the "mid-life crisis guy fucks younger women" phenomenon.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/16 03:11 PM
8

There are a lot of people like this. Women not excluded. They like to chase.. to emote... to GIVE... but then when it's reciprocated, they get scared or even completely turned off. They're what we call "broken" people, and should be avoided for long-term relationships. They leave a long string of exes in their wake.
/r/askTRP07/08/16 07:44 PM
11

Wow... this really hit home. Read and digest this, boys. In my 40's, and it's eerily true. I was in my late 20's.. tried and failed at a business. Got a regular J-O-B.. which royally sucked. Then got a divorce and kicked my life up a notch. Now I'm in my 40's and guess what I'm doing? My own business again. Back to the same crowd of pie-in-the-sky entrepreneurs and wannabe's who all swear their millions is out there waiting for them. Businessmen trying to take advantage of my kind nature and sha…
/r/askTRP20/07/16 04:27 PM
1

precedent Sure, but when other future things come up where she asks that you pay for more than your share (I agree, this will happen), you say NO. It's not tough to go on a case-by-case basis. That's what you're doing here in this case. Looking at it and evaluating what is fair. I ask my woman out on a night on the town this weekend, I know she is tight with money right now (she is moving to a new apartment and just put down a deposit)... so the night is on me. My pleasure.
/r/TheRedPill08/07/16 03:30 PM
15

"I would like you to come be with me for my sister's wedding. Don't worry, I'll cover the tickets and stuff." -- "I found this apartment I really like. I know it might be out of your budget, but I really like it. Since it's my idea and out of your price range, I'll cover the difference. We can split it 60/40. What do you think?" None of these things sound "beta" in any way. They sound mature and adult. If your main argument is "yeah, but GIRL'S do that kinda stuff all the time!!"... then you are…
/r/TheRedPill06/07/16 03:18 PM
10

Pro tip: don't fucking talk about your idea. I don't care how much you think nobody could possibly run with it and do all the hard work you did, blah blah.. don't talk about it.
/r/askTRP05/07/16 07:53 PM
2

Women, for the most part, have zero appreciation for just how strong and all-encompassing the male libido is. It's always there, and it affects just about every aspect of our day-to-day life. The fact that I may be with a LTR and not out trying to bang every young thing that looks my way is a testament to my devotion to my LTR. I have foregone a lot of life's freedoms to be with her... and the biggest freedom is the ability to bang a lot of different women. That is HUGE. I've never known a woman…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/16 01:39 PM
1

Your wealth and status are every bit a part of you as your looks and height. It just is... and you should embrace it and not worry about what others think about it. Be a good dude, be good to others, fuck what others think. That applies to the females as well. Get the feeling that the girl you're dating is only with you because of your wealth? Well, she probably is. Just as much as my woman is with me because I look decent and am a friendly guy. In other words, how do make sure a woman likes you…
/r/askTRP28/06/16 03:52 PM
1

I'm a big proponent of low carb during the week... with lifting and moderate cardio (playing basketball with my kids and stair master or walking)... and then re-feed on Saturday. High carbs. Booze if I feel like it. Then back on the wagon Sunday morning. Works for me. Oh, and I'm on testosterone.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/16 03:07 PM
–

"My little solace here is that she literally doesn't have time to cheat on me. Her job keeps her occupied 10-12 hours a day 6 or 7 days a week and the only free time she has she spends it with me." LOL. Oh... so young and innocent. She has no boundaries. This is obvious because she just flaunted in your face "Look... I have no boundaries!" A person with no boundaries is bad news for a LTR. A person with boundaries would smile at hipster dude and say "It was great meeting you, but I'm here with m…
/r/askTRP
–

"Better yet... let's all go out together!" - Flip it on her. Make it a threesome for dinner.
/r/askTRP
–

"I couldn't tell you because I knew you'd be upset." Some advice for any of you youngsters: When you hear this... you're only seeing the tip of the awful iceberg. Start digging, or better yet.. run. I just wrote about this recently: Lying
/r/askTRP
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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