TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

daedalis2020 Archive

View 2 posts and 65 comments by daedalis2020 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
17

daedalis2020/r/Divorce_Men03/01/20 10:06 PM
11

daedalis2020/r/Divorce_Men24/03/20 04:13 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
15

If you’re separated be separated. It’s the only way to start healing. Direct all divorce communication through your lawyer. Only have direct conversation when it involves the kid and only then for visitation, schooling, and medical. No small talk, no sharing, nada. Think of yourself as a customer service chat bot. There are very limited conversation branches you support.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 12:22 PM
6

Yep, raised her like my own. Haven’t heard from her in 5 years. Her mom was emotionally abusive. But whatever. She’s an adult. Gotta make her own choices.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 07:52 AM
15

That it’s actually amazing if you have clarity on who you are, what you want, and how you want to be treated. Being older, more mature, capable of taking care of myself and communicate well… women really respond to it. Now remarried to a younger, kinder, smarter, and hotter women. My biggest regret was delaying my divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 01:22 PM
8

I made sure the kids had a gift for her, nothing extravagant. She never did anything. But I take the high road and the kids are closer to me for it.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 02:25 PM
3

Filed right before Covid lockdown. Offered her $50K of shared assets to move out. She refused. Courts delayed case for 18 months. I lived in the guest room downstairs for 18 months. She did zero for the kids or around the house while I worked and did everything. She also tried to move a strange man in, which I got the court to rule no “paramours” in the house. It was misery.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/24 02:18 PM
3

Been there. So much happier she’s gone. I felt like to have a shot at sex the day had to go absolutely perfect. It’s a control/emotional abuse thing.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 02:58 PM
26

If you were a slave you’d give anything to be free. Half is a bargain.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 03:49 AM
12

I filed and then Covid lockdowns started. It took almost 2 years to finalize. You bet your ass I dated. I already lost 1/4 of my life in a bad marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 09:50 PM
6

Me, and I regret not doing it way sooner.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 04:38 PM
4

I heard it as “no matter how beautiful she is… somewhere out there is a man who is sick of her shit”
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 03:48 PM
8

No. Awful idea in nearly every situation.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 09:46 PM
-2

I remarried 3 years ago (41m) to a beautiful woman in her 20s. Her last LTR was with a man who lacked ambition and maturity. She also was very against having children. An older, mature, and stable man was what she wanted. I’m charismatic with a dad bod and I look younger than my age. Thanks young men for being shitty partners.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 02:46 PM
1

I started seeing a therapist for depression. Found out I was being emotionally abused, gaslit, and otherwise taken advantage of. Started demanding respect and not accepting the little digs and passive aggression. Then pulled the plug when she refused couples Counselling.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 01:08 PM
2

If you have the means, get into the sugar baby thing or high end escorts. Remember that you’re not paying for sex, you’re paying her to leave after.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/23 11:39 PM
2

Yeah when you petition the court to start the process
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 07:57 PM
4

Get a lawyer, even if it’s not contentious you need someone to represent you and draw up the paperwork. They also can help you mediate things, there will be details you don’t agree on or haven’t thought about. Also get a therapist. It helps. You need a neutral party you can talk to and not overburden your friends and family. Intimacy is over. Move into a guest bedroom. You’re at best, friends now. A Lawyer can’t represent both parties you each get your own. You can do mediation if you are amicab…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 07:53 PM
3

Marriage 2.0 is great. I rebuilt myself and I’m unabashedly me. I carved out all the toxicity from my life and have a loving, fulfilling relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 03:19 AM
2

Kids are teens she communicates directly with them. I don’t know when they aren’t coming home but I can track their phones so whatever. I bet she’d contact me fast as hell if I missed an alimony payment though! 😂
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 03:55 AM
1

Mine never responds to texts or emails even about the kids. I continue one way communications according to the parenting plan. If there’s ever a need to go to court she’s gonna get dumpstered.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 03:48 AM
2

I remarried after a 14 year marriage to a significantly younger partner (16 years). It is a bit of a crapshoot, but wife 2 and I have been together for 5 years including dating and everything is going great. I prioritized shared interests over looks. We have many hobbies and interests in common, more than I thought possible tbh. Our goals align, we both prioritize comfort and exploring the world. This means compatibility in our spending habits and approach to work/life balance. On her side, she …
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 03:37 PM
3

If you were a slave you’d give everything for your freedom. Half is a bargain.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/22 01:28 PM
2

If you are decided to divorce the reasons don’t matter. Get a lawyer, file the paperwork, and then let her know she should expect being served. You hope you can work this out quickly and fairly. After that go no verbal contact. Ask for all offers and negotiations to be through email or letter.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/22 09:32 PM
2

As someone who all in is paying the ex over half a million and I kept all the debt while she doesn’t work an bangs random dudes… Whatever it’s still worth not having her in my life.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/22 08:05 PM
20

Who cares, you’re divorced. Stop giving her free rent in your brain.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/22 03:27 PM
1

Ya, I had the same worries, mostly unfounded.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/22 11:48 PM
2

Sounds like what I went through. If you have questions pm me.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/22 08:41 PM
3

When I moved to the extra bedroom I sure as hell locked the door. It created privacy, separation, and sure you never know if someone might flip out or on the other side try to slip into bed.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/21 10:57 AM
-6

I have a prenup for marriage #2
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/21 04:04 PM
2

Depends on the situation. In mine I had started building towards divorce a year before I filed so I had already processed it, had been going to therapy, and was ready for a healthy relationship. There’s no rush if you’re interested. Ease into it and make sure he’s ready for you drop too much on him.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/21 11:28 AM
5

I'm a little over 6 months out from my divorce from a verbally and emotionally abusive woman. Due to COVID-19 delaying court stuff it took over a year to get her out of the home. Looking around this month: Been working with a personal trainer for 5 months, I'm stronger, fitter, sleeping better, and a few pounds down (gained so much muscle mass I haven't lost a lot of weight but I have lost over an inch from ye olde waistline). I started dating during the wait, married the new girl (+ prenup) thi…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/21 12:06 AM
1

House is premarital and I’m snipped, so no issues there.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/21 07:43 PM
3

I remarried, rather quickly. I met a great woman and I’m very happy. I got a solid prenup this time though.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/21 02:40 PM
1

Pre marital assets are not subject to divorce splits. The prenup should add extra protection for this by giving you the opportunity to do a current net worth statement.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/21 12:52 PM
0

Why would he accept less? Not logical. If he invested the lump sum he might get an average return of 5-7% so there is little incentive to take a discount unless he intends to move, remarry quickly, or doesn’t think you will pay / be a pita. He also wouldn’t be able to claim it as income on credit apps likely... He might be bad with money and need the regular payments.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/21 11:35 AM
3

My ex was a huge bitch during and after our second child, I got snipped at 28 and never looked back. After divorcing, my new fiancée who is a decade younger than me and doesn’t want children is so glad I’m snipped. Spontaneous sex anywhere anytime with no mucking about with hormones and such ftw. Also it didn’t hurt, worst part was the numbing shot into the ballsack. Then sore for a few days and done. Nothing to be afraid of unless you’re a big wuss.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/21 04:09 PM
1

I had the same experience. My therapist helped me realize the marriage wasn’t good for me.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/21 01:21 PM
1

Sounds like my life. I pulled the trigger, it was damn hard and expensive but my life is way better now. My kids are happier, I have more work but more control. And omg the sex.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/21 01:42 PM
1

I’m in the same boat, paying for everything right now. I’m giving her only her portion and keeping the kids portion.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/20 03:47 PM
1

It looks like I will be ordered to maintain an amount to cover alimony but the rest I can redirect after the settlement.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/20 05:49 PM
1

Just file and wait out the clock. That's pretty much what I had to do. The court set our date for over a year out back in December of 2019, the trial is in January of 2021. Horrible judge, horrible court. But whatever. Filing and getting a court date starts a ticking clock, and you just need to wait for her to become aware that when the court steps in it's going to be big legal fees for both of you, and she'll likely have to pay most of hers out of any assets. She also needs to be aware that in …
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/20 04:20 AM
3

Mine did something similar. Left the gift unopened where not only I would see it, but where the kids would too. Won’t be doing that again. Though frankly if she doesn’t want anything from me she should give up the alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/20 04:20 AM
1

Sure, I’ll do it again... with a prenup and longer dating and cohabitating period. I like having someone to care for, I just want the next one to give back and appreciate me.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/20 01:43 PM
1

Sure but I will require more time cohabitating and a solid prenup.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/20 06:15 AM
2

It's not a competition, the end goal is to raise a healthy, well adjusted human. You are not the same person as him, and you need to just let things develop naturally. Yes, kids are kids and they will attempt to manipulate you at some point, because they want to find the boundaries. You just keep being a stable force in their life and let them grow into their own people.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/20 05:19 AM
2

Eh, my ex had/has a great body, slim/athletic but busty. I'm pretty average, got a lot of looks from guys along the "how did you pull that off" kind of look. She was controlling, had low self esteem, was emotionally abusive. F-all that noise. Looks also fade, she's on the wrong side of 40 now but still very attractive. Currently dating someone 15 years younger than me. If my ex was a 9/10, my current is a 7/8, but the difference in the way she treats me, respects me, cares about me, and is a tru…
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/20 02:32 PM
2

Just turn over your tax filings and all credit and bank statements for the last 5 years. If there are special circumstances note them but unless you’re very wealthy that should be sufficient to establish income and such. I gave her lawyer all that and copies of my commission contract. Told them the rest would be a pita and I’m not rich so they can pay for a forensic accountant if it’s not good enough. They backed off.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/20 04:12 PM
5

Yep, counselor had to shut her down in therapy because she kept talking over me and telling me how I feel. Eye opening for me for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/20 04:30 PM
1

The nice thing about getting a lawyer is that they prevent you from making big mistakes and it prevents you from having to negotiate. You should get one, and throw it over the fence to your ex. If he wants to be fair, the two lawyers and you both should be able to hammer things out in a day or two. If he doesn't want to be fair, you'll be glad you have the lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/20 05:22 AM
6

My divorce is kind of like your situation. STBXW is an expat, I paid to bring her child over and treated her like my own for the 15 years of marriage. That child is over 18 now though, so that's a non issue. We have two other children, teenagers, who I have a great relationship with. Throughout the course of our marriage, STBXW was a "house wife" but didn't preform those duties. Despite bringing in 100% of the income I still did more than half the chores, she rarely cooked since "I didn't like m…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/20 05:17 AM
1

Oh she filed a motion the other day asking for temporary support amounting to about $2500 more per month than I make. Included lovely items like $150 per month for streaming services. Got a meeting with my attorney tomorrow to discuss how to respond. We actually don't have any joint credit card accounts, she's an authorized user on mine.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/20 11:28 PM
3

Problem is she’s never worked and is living like a retired person. Doesn’t cook, clean, participate financially... she is 100% in leach mode. Spending marital assets on gifts for herself, etc. There is no incentive for her to face reality.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/20 04:43 AM
3

Can I give her money to get a place? We do have significant marital assets to divide. Will a magistrate make her move out if I pay for it?
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/20 04:26 AM
1

Love my kids, but yeah, I would have pulled the trigger about 7 years sooner.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/20 04:21 AM
13

Definitely family issues, broken home and she was estranged from even her siblings. I really believe she doesn’t know how to have a healthy relationship. Any type of anger/emotional abuse signs. I’ve learned there are healthy and unhealthy expressions of anger. I will never, ever, date someone without a career again. Being the breadwinner is inherently inequitable and I’m personally not interested in having an extra child financially.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/20 04:02 PM
2

My STBXW had the "love but not in love" convo last year and then was shocked, distraught, and went ballistic on social media to all of our contacts when she found out I was done with this marriage. So just saying, even though you logically think they shouldn't be a shock, you might be surprised at how poorly she takes it. Prepare for the worst, be surprised by something better.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/20 10:55 PM
1

My friend said something similar to me the other day. "If you were a slave, how much would you pay for your freedom? Everything. So half isn't all that bad..."
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/20 05:32 AM
1

Yeah, I tend to just tell it like it is, pretty much, "yep, getting divorced". Low on details.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/20 08:57 PM
1

Definitely get into therapy. I've learned that therapy isn't so much about someone giving you advice, but someone who can really let you get those thoughts out in the open and kind of "referee" for you. I have a great therapist who is very direct with me when I'm being unfair to myself, etc. Your ex is going to move on at some point, and so are you. I've found it helpful to take the long view in a humanist kind of way. Even though she put me through some shit, I hope she finds happiness, just li…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/20 04:28 PM
5

I'd argue that the continuity is important for the kids and keeping them in their school distract and suggest flipping that around. She can be the weekend mom if she wants to disrupt them so badly.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/20 08:12 AM
1

Ok this thread is really scaring me on the cohabitation part. My therapist has said that I'm overly compassionate, and with her being a stay at home mom for so long I was actually considering letting her stay here for as long as 6 months so she can enroll in school, find a place to live, etc. I'm not sure what else I can do right now because my mortgage is such that I don't think I can afford a second, nice place and I am pretty against moving into a crappy place and paying for her to live in wh…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/20 04:54 PM
1

Oof, I really don't want to take the kids away from her, in spite of things, I was more hoping to get it written in that she needs to be in therapy... I have been logging all the things though. Kind of thinking that I'm not qualified to make that call, so if my kids are in therapy and the therapist recommends something other than 50/50, I'll certainly hear them.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/20 04:23 AM
3

I'm learning this. It's so frustrating and it was part of what made me decide to move on in therapy. Frequently interrupts, rejects any reality but her own, etc. I realized (finally, took me long enough) that if all the relationship woes were going to be one person's fault that it wasn't going to be able to be fixed. Not a problem, don't drink much in general. Good advice though. ... sigh Easier said than done. :) I'm trying. Luckily I have good parents and a support network to fall back on if t…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/20 04:20 AM
1

Yeah I'm fortunate to live in a large house and my step-daughter came of age and moved out a few years ago so there is a fully furnished extra room with bathroom with a lock on the door. My therapist has been hammering away at me that I need to not be helpful, let her deal with things now, etc. Really hard to do after handling all the things for so many years... I get mild panic attacks about the lack of a plan or discussion about the future.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/20 04:17 AM
3

Yeah, it's frightening that my therapist pretty much said the same thing about it getting nasty. I'll hope for the best though. You can reach out to me too, thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/20 04:15 AM
3

Thanks, I have no desire to touch her so that won't be a problem. I'll try to accelerate the lawyer stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/20 10:37 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter