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dancingtree32 Archive

View 0 posts and 21 comments by dancingtree32 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

We are repeating ourselves a lot. I'll reply with an edit here: http://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/2gyha7/thoughts_on_paternity_tests/ckox0lc
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/14 01:13 AM
1

Literally, how else do you translate a paternity test? "I trust you just not enough to believe when you say you've been faithful"? I already answered this: You are aware that interpreting a paternity test as an accusation of cheating is an interpretation you are choosing to make, and that there are other possible interpretations? For example I said you could consider it a precaution, part of your due diligence as a parent, or you could consider it an act that would deny cover to others who actua…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/14 01:11 AM
1

You know, I've been going over and over in my mind about when it's justified to accuse your spouse of lying and cheating on you. You are aware that interpreting a paternity test as an accusation of cheating is an interpretation you are choosing to make, and that there are other possible interpretations? For example I said you could consider it a precaution, part of your due diligence as a parent, or you could consider it an act that would deny cover to others who actually do commit paternity fra…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/14 08:45 PM
2

Do you think your partner will never be insecure? Do you just not care if they are? Actually we were discussing this last night, he agreed with me it would messed up to ask for a test if there was no good reason to think I cheated. He's not insecure about it (or at least that's what he says), and based off his behavior I believe him. I actually would have been very surprised if he didn't agree with you. After all you have your view and he is with you. Birds of a feather flock together. But I was…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/14 08:00 PM
1

Are you capable of putting yourself in someone else's shoes? Because you haven't yet. Dude I think this is the issue you're having here too. I'm aware of this and it bothers me, but so far your behavior is consistent with someone who gets to "But I don't cheat!" and then stops thinking or empathizing. For example you still haven't engaged with the hospital scenario, or most of the questions or issues I've posted. You mostly just seem to be repeating yourself. I can understand being offended and …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/14 07:22 PM
2

You don't condone paternity fraud, but your behavior provides cover for it. You don't advocate blind faith, but you threaten divorce with any partner who fails to display it to your satisfaction. Do you think your partner will never be insecure? Do you just not care if they are? That the rate is low is not a good argument: the hazard is so high that the total risk is substantial (where risk = rate * hazard). Even at a very low rate (~1%), it would be prudent to make sure. Do you understand what …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/14 06:46 PM
1

It isn't going anywhere because you haven't actually engaged with it. Are you capable of putting yourself in someone else's shoes? Because you haven't yet. You keep getting hung up on "I don't cheat!" and then not thinking any further, or only looking at the surface level of things but not attempting to go any deeper. What would you do if the nurse threatened to take your child away if you took the test? What would you think of a person who did that? Re your edit: Why the fuck would you divorce …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/14 05:04 PM
3

Setting personal boundaries etc is fine. It's only worth mentioning if you have ever taken issue with other people setting their own boundaries. For example if you think it's okay for a RPer to "next" his wife because she failed to show absolute trust in him, then np. It's something I would not personally approve of, but if you do, then at least you're consistent. Also, getting a paternity test is not the same thing as accusing someone of anything. I don't think I have cancer, I don't think I'll…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/14 04:37 PM
3

That's good, but only you know that for sure. You are asking your SO to take a risk that you yourself are not taking: that's not fair. And if he tries to avoid taking that risk (by testing), you have threatened to divorce him.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/14 04:13 PM
2

My point was that you are acting exactly like someone who actually is cheating. How is someone who isn't you supposed to tell the difference? As an aside: You realize you are providing cover for those who commit paternity fraud when it would cost you very little, and benefit your SO and child, to provide proof? Why? Because it's unnecessary? No, it's only unnecessary to you. The fact that you wouldn't do this for your partner and child anyway, is a failure of empathy on your part. Do you think f…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/14 04:03 PM
2

That may be, but it's still disappointing.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/14 03:53 PM
3

I'm not RP and I think paternity tests should be taken. If your SO changed his mind he didn't "suddenly become RP", I'd say he was being prudent. It sounds like you're holding back knowledge from your SO as some kind of tripwire in case he ever becomes suspicious. Why are you not getting the test yourself so he never has to worry? You aren't actually cheating are you? You keep making the point that paternity fraud is rare like that's a good argument. It's not. The risk of a particular hazard is …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/14 12:02 PM
1

Why would she take your child away? You tell me, that's what you've threatened to do to your SO in this thread. That's your choice: act like you trust the nurse and never know for sure, or try to find out anyway. What do you do? What do you think of the nurse who threatens such things?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/14 11:05 AM
6

Wanting to know who fathered a child is a good reason all by itself. You seem hung up on your SO not trusting you and how that's a "dealbreaker" which seems melodramatic to me. Trust will oscillate over time, and if the father of your child has shown a lack of trust in you, the first reaction should be to figure out why, and if it can be repaired, not to file for divorce. You also haven't seemed to fully appreciate that your SO cannot ever know for certain that he is the father. My hospital scen…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/14 02:06 AM
1

I think it's interesting that you don't say you don't trust the nurse, just that you don't know her and her opinion of you doesn't matter. What if the nurse's opinion did matter? Like if she'd take your child away if you ran the test?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/14 01:52 AM
2

I can't literally guarantee it, but I think it is extremely likely that at some point in your decades together, your SO will have doubts. Maybe they will be brief and transitory, maybe they will eat at him slowly. It would be almost trivial for you to spare him this. Why don't you? Do you care that little about him?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/14 01:41 AM
5

I think you might be right, it's not actually dread game. To my understanding dread game is about trying to appear more attractive to someone by creating the impression that you have options. Threatening a divorce if someone doesn't take you at your word is just controlling.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/14 11:22 PM
5

Like many things in a relationship, trust will oscillate. Your SO will have more trust for you at some times, and more doubts at other times. You could very easily remove a whole class of doubts from your SO permanently. Why would you ever NOT want to do that? Why would you NOT want him to share the same level of certainty that you already enjoy? This is something easy you could do for your partner, the person you love, but you would refrain because of some kind of trust-test mind game? Why? Is …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/14 11:00 PM
2

That's what I was thinking too. I don't know cuittler well enough: are they someone who objects to that sort of thing in TRP? It seems like some other threads were already trying to pursue that. Also they didn't answer my question about the hospital: what would they do if they couldn't be sure that the child was theirs? Didn't answer, but I'm not sure they can get outside of their own head enough to actually understand the others' POV.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/14 10:01 PM
1

If him asking you for samples means you're through as a couple, then don't wait for him to ask. YOU could request the paternity test.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/14 09:17 PM
4

I find your position to be unethical. A paternity test isn't about you. It's about the man being able to know for certain that a child is a member of his family, and later the child being able to know for certain who their father is. That you want to limit what knowledge is available to them is controlling and IMO borderline abusive. It's like someone who goes into their partner's phone or email accounts and deletes some unread messages. Maybe you think deleting those messages was harmless, but …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/14 08:16 PM
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