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darkaeonforce Archive

View 0 posts and 54 comments by darkaeonforce on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I second Todoist in combination with Google Calendar. My Todoist task/project list is private and I use a GTD-style technique to offload ideas/tasks from my brain to prioritize, regularly review, and if needed discard. It integrates well bi-directionally into Google Calendar, where I have set up my work, kids, and wife's calendar. Google Calendar works well visually so everyone knows what's going on. It is ubiquitous on devices. Todoist and Gcal also send reminders.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/21 11:39 AM
3

I find when it builds up, I get so fucking angry/ frustrated and fiery. The lack of outcome independence and emotional control. The energy builds to the point that it's even noticed at work, as I'll have some of my co-workers grabbing me snacks, food, coffee, water... stepping up their performance with their work, sometimes even physically touching me, rubbing my back etc. My mood matches my energy. Somehow I go home and it turns from productive to frustration.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/20 09:31 PM
2

You are absolutely right. No porn. No jacking makes sense too. I have lacked discipline and patience. I am working from a book on the exercises. My goal is to pay attention to the physical pleasure. It feels similar to mindfulness meditation and body scans. During sex I can completely lose the feeling and arousal as I get lost in my head, anxieties, and dissociate. Sometimes I find that I have been holding my breath just kind of thinking about what's going on and wondering if I'll ever cum. I am…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/20 09:21 PM
3

I've been here, though not to the same extent. You need to relearn how to connect with yourself. To find what you truly desire and then express that. Right now you're performing. Sooner you just fuck rather than trying to fuck both her and your mind, the sooner you move past it. I am so fucking hell-bent on getting fucking, because I want someone to want to fuck me...I am so focused on "it's been X amount if days" and "if she loved me she'd want to fuck me" that I'm not really paying attention t…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/20 09:14 PM
3

It's about being in her frame, anger phase, being emotionally dependent and projecting my failures on her. I keep going back to her looking for love, desire, and ultimately self-worth. #2 Is about letting go of that. You are right that I have trying to redirect negative thinking patterns and rely on myself. I want to kill expectations, specifically I my relationship, while I attack my insecurities (and my "adversities" written above) and build my boundaries and frame. Specific actions? Stop usel…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/20 09:05 PM
6

OYS #13 Late 30s, 6’3" 208# (-1) BF 18% (Navy - tested 8/10/20) Married 8 years, Children: 4 Sidebar reading: MMSL, NMMG, WISNIFG, Pook, RM 1, RM Preventive Medicine, Practical Female Psychology, TWOTSM, Frame Control, and SGM Current Lifts (11/9/20): Max Chins 9, Max Pulls 8 Bench 10x130#, Shoulder Press 10x80#, Squat 5x210#, Deadlift 7x225#, BB Row 10x130# Mission: My current mission is to rebuild my self-esteem. Mental & Emotional: I have returned to my MAP as I had started to drift. While wo…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/20 10:55 AM
2

You are right. I am can't sustain this thought before I start playing the victim - why me...of course, blaming my wife rather than myself. I am not ready for Level 4 as I am not attractive enough for it to make a difference. Fuck, this is in her frame. You are right about being avoidant because if lack of frame. I look at intimacy entirely as validation-seeking. I can't even see her or enjoy her for who she is, because I am using her as a validation dispensary. It's obvious.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/11/20 03:21 AM
2

Thanks for painting this perspective change. I have looked at my marriage as something that is over and that we are roommates. This becomes a situation where I withdraw completely from the relationship beyond parenting and other logistics. Two things I have noticed: I don't want to spend time with my roommate and I start flirting with other female acquaintances that have/had shown interest.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/11/20 11:58 AM
2

OYS #12 Late 30s, 6’3" 209# BF 18% (Navy - tested 8/10/20) Married 8 years, Children: 4 Sidebar reading: MMSL, NMMG, WISNIFG, Pook, Rational Male 1, Rational Male Preventative Medicine, Practical Female Psychology, TWOTSM, and SGM Current Lifts (11/2/20): Max Chins 9, Max Pulls 7 Bench 10x130#, Shoulder Press 12x75#, Squat 7x200#, Deadlift 7x225#, BB Row 10x125# I am returning after a Rule 9 two week ban and followed that by neglecting to OYS another two weeks. As in my previous 11 OYS, my month…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/20 11:25 AM
1

OYS #11 Late 30s, 6’3" 204.2# BF 18% (Navy - tested 8/10/20) Married 8 years, Children: 4 Sidebar reading: MMSL, NMMG, WISNIFG, Pook, Rational Male 1, Rational Male Preventative Medicine, Practical Female Psychology, TWOTSM, and SGM Current Lifts (9/27/20): (Stronglifts) Bench 5x175#, Shoulder Press 5x110#, Squat 5x185#, Deadlift 1x5x270#, BB Row 5x160# Physical & Health: I have hit a plateau on all lifts. This week's plateau is on deads and rows. I am building up on squats as de-loaded earlier.…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/20 02:46 PM
1

I appreciate your input as well as the consensus opinion. It's comforting to know that someone here has gone through this and come out the other side. I see that I am treating the symptoms rather than treating the disease (my shitty mindset/Frame/emotional control) - like using paracetamol for a pneumonia. It felt like a catch-22, though....fix sleep which will help me fix myself or fix myself at the disadvantage of less sleep.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/20 10:06 PM
4

You and others are pointing out what should be obvious to me. I am running away from the pain and seeking comfort by avoiding the issue. I responded above to SBIII and Tyred. You are right. I fucking hate that fucking bed and I hate fucking lying there... lying there in my own shit. I hoped that the sleep (and space) facilitated un-fucking my mental shit. I thought "doing what I need to do to make my space to get my head right and solve my shit" was the right frame. I continue to make weak moves…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/20 07:36 PM
2

You are right. It's a weak as fuck move and essentially a retreat. I rationalized it was a tactical retreat to allow me to reset, work, and make gains in un-fucking myself.....but it's avoidance of the pain (that forges the change)
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/20 07:22 PM
2

The ideal solution is that I sleep well in my own bed. The ideal solution is that I un-fuck myself so that it doesn't matter where the fuck I am and can sleep soundly and comfortably with nothing external (like my my relationship or my job or my insecurity/self-hate or my inability to face my own issues/problems or my lack of vision) keeping me awake. The ideal solution is that I face my problems and solve them. Ideally I would use that time awake in the middle of the night (or day) to put time …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/20 07:15 PM
2

I know it's far from an ideal solution and one of last resort.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/20 04:05 PM
2

I wasn't sleeping well in my bed, either getting to sleep or waking up and not being able to get back to sleep. When it was happening, I would eventually get up, read, and sleep on the couch. There certainly was that "brain on fire" thoughts that even guided meditation couldn't calm down. I was also waking up my wife and it was pissing her off, too. I also do shift work so I work random nights, so a separate sleep space is useful for day sleeping. I just made the decision that sleep is a major p…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/20 03:53 PM
2

Yes, I did. Temporarily.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/20 03:43 PM
4

OYS #10 Late 30s, 6’3" 202.3# BF 18% (Navy - tested 8/10/20) Married 8 years, Children: 4 Sidebar reading: MMSL, NMMG, WISNIFG, Pook, BPP's book, Rational Male 1, Rational Male Preventative Medicine, Practical Female Psychology, TWOTSM, and SGM This was a better week. I have a long way to go, but finally I relaxed, more emotionally disciplined, and shut the hell up. Physical & Health: Current Lifts (9/21/20): (Stronglifts) Bench 5x175#, Shoulder Press 5x110#, Squat 5x175#, Deadlift 1x5x270#, BB …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/20 08:12 AM
2

Thank you for your response. I have failed to get solid traction for a number of my own failures and I appreciate the guidance. As for sidebar reading, aside from a thorough go through of the MRP posts, I have read MMSL, NMMG, WISNIFG, Rational Male 1, Rational Male Preventative Medicine, Practical Female Psychology, TWOTSM, and SGM (most multiple times).
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/20 08:14 AM
2

You are right. It's lack of discipline. It's embarrassing to set out simple goals and then go ahead and fail due to lack of effort. There is no excuse. This week is a new week and I am fully capable. I know progress is non-linear and you have to zone out and look at the trend. My trend has not been positive, even with this shitty week. I have set out my plan/time to achieve these goals and get a few small wins to build on. If I can't do that for myself, why am I here?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/20 09:16 PM
2

Accurate. I framed it as taking care of my own needs and help me avoid pushing awkwardly for validation duty sex, but it's just fucking weak. It has to stop. It's not helping.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/20 09:07 PM
2

Overall it's failure on many levels. This wasn't a good week and my mindset/action isn't improving. I am still focused on my wife, her actions, reactions, and that I am owed something just for showing up (covert contract). I am flailing around without external validation of sex I know that I just need to STFU, work on being better, becoming more attractive I general, keep my negative thoughts to myself and become my own judge/internally motivated, but I have even too weak. I know rationally that…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/20 09:04 PM
2

OYS #9 Late 30s, 6’3" 203.6# BF 18% (Navy - tested 8/10/20) Married 8 years, Children: 4 Aside from working out, this week was a failure. I considered not OYS this week and taking a break to regroup as I saw no value added here. I wrote this out as know I would be back to old patterns of hiding my failures like they don't exist. Overall, I think these failures are less to do with faulty execution or lack of experience and mostly have to do with poor effort and lack of mental strength/perseveranc…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/20 11:12 AM
1

That makes sense. I find the journaling is a great capture device for thoughts. The cons are that sometimes I am just going through the motions and it detaches me further from life making myself a spectator. I replay shit I should be letting go of quickly.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/20 02:38 AM
1

Trying to keep it simple. Now do those things. Fuckin' A, man.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/20 02:33 AM
3

OYS #8 Late 30s, 6’3" 200.6# BF 18% (Navy - tested 8/10/20) Married 8 years, Children: 4 Mission: My mission is to take control of myself, remove the facade and become authentic, become a leader of my own life, lead my family, and become a man of internal motivation. Current Lifts (9/7/20): (Stronglifts) Bench 5x175#, Shoulder Press 5x110#, Squat 5x155#, Deadlift 5x240#, BB Row 5x155# Physical & Health: I failed at 5x230# squat, regrouped and hit it on the next session, but knee swelling and sor…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/20 08:48 AM
1

OYS #7 Late 30s, 6’3" 201.8# BF 18% (Navy - tested 8/10/20) Married 8 years, Children: 4 Mission: My mission is to take control of myself, remove the facade and become authentic, become a leader of my own life, lead my family, and become a man of internal motivation. Physical & Health: Current Lifts (8/30/20): Bench 5x170#, Shoulder Press 5x100#, Squat 5x225#, Deadlift 5x220#, BB Row 5x145#, Max Chins 8, Max Pulls 8 I continue to make linear progress in 5x5. The weights are starting to feel heav…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/20 12:11 PM
1

Thank you for this. I will explore these questions. With all of the counsel I have received, I understand I have to really look inward to solve this confidence issue and first see myself as worthy - being "The Prize". I have found so many ways to hide parts of myself due to guilt/shame, that at this point I feel like a fake. When my façade starts to crack or my mask is off, I am afraid. I am anxious. I feel like it disturbs people as they think of me in a certain way I have carefully cultivated.…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/08/20 09:06 AM
3

I think you are absolutely right. I am in her frame. I get angry thinking about what she thinks about me (eg. treats me like a girlfriend because she nuked her own relationships, only cares my paycheck, whether I look after the kids when I am off work, that I am needy like one of the children). Yes. This is totally me stuck firmly in her frame. It's probably not even that bad and my view of things is distorted by my own emotions. As I have put in past OYS, I recognize I am seeking respect, attra…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/20 10:19 PM
4

Yes, I am not putting in the effort to calorie count. I could be more focused on it to get to my goals and speeding up the process. Then why spend the evenings with her? Then why the fuck are you doing that now? Exactly how low value do you want to be? It's a good question. Why waste my time doing this? I know it's my own fault for not letting things go, being more relaxed, planning fun things to do, and just being more fun. I know I am the cause of my of dread by putting pressure on myself to n…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/20 12:25 PM
4

OYS #6 Late 30s, 6’3" 202.9# BF 18% (Navy - tested 8/10/20) Married 8 years, Children: 4 Mission: My mission is to take control of myself, remove the facade and become authentic, become a leader of my own life, lead my family, and become a man of internal motivation. Physical & Health: Current Lifts (8/16/20): Bench 5x160#, Shoulder Press 5x95#, Squat 5x215#, Deadlift 5x205#, BB Row 5x135#, Max Chins 8 ,Max Pulls 7 I continue to make progress on 5x5 Stronglifts. Advice was given to focus on form…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/20 08:30 AM
1

With your lifts where they are, you're minimum 20% BF. Just FYI. You're fat. When you look in the mirror, would you want and desire to fuck you? I think not. I am weak and skinny fat. This seems like the conceptually easiest thing to focus on and be patient about. Grinding away on this. Stop eating paint. I continue hemorrhaging here. You are right that my behavior as an unstable emotional vampire is a constant for my wife, whereas my trying to be independent feels unnatural. You are right I kee…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/20 01:36 PM
1

Again, thank you for the counsel. It is appreciated. I won't waste it.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/08/20 03:55 PM
1

You are right that it sounds good and I am a bit lost on what practically dealing with my emotions looks like. I want to be my true self. Thank you for that advice and I find the F. Shapiro exercises. It is hopeful to know that you have been able to work through this yourself. Any advice is welcome.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/08/20 02:18 PM
1

You are absolutely right. I sort, systematize, and compartmentalize and have my whole life. It helps me deal with things logically as I am not good at times getting things right in the moment. I am afraid I will freeze, act too slowly, or get things wrong in the moment, so having a system helps me plan reactions in advance. It helps fight my laziness, avoidance, and procrastination. Those items are shitty parts about myself that I am trying to change. I think this will make me a better leader, m…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/08/20 12:43 PM
3

OYS #5 Late 30s, 6’3" 202.5# BF 18% (Navy - 8/10/20) Married 8 years, Children: 4 Current Lifts (8/16/20): Bench 5x155#, Shoulder Press 5x85#, Squat 5x200#, Deadlift 3x180#, BB Row 5x135# ***Reviewing Current OYS Goals for August: Set up new organization/Task management system (consolidating work/family/personal tasks & schedule) I setup Todoist and implemented GTD-based system. It is fully in action. I will finish dredging my personal/work emails and personal notes to get all tasks/projects con…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/08/20 10:21 AM
2

Nothing is literally thrown at me. I agree, that would be absolutely unacceptable. I was trying to illustrate sometimes it starts with one shit test and when it doesn't stick, there is another and another and another. They are different, sometimes unrelated, and some don't even make any logical sense. When it gets chaotic like that, it's easy for me to STFU/fog and it burns out. You are absolutely right that I have plenty of physical work to do. I am on week one of Stronglifts and plan to run it…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/20 08:22 AM
1

Thanks for the recommendation. I am just getting started with this.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/20 08:02 AM
2

I am right with you. At some point I stopped initiating because it resulted in repeated failure and I couldn't handle it. I also received feedback from my wife that my seduction was unwarranted because it "put too much pressure on her" and let her know that "I only want one thing". The repeated failure and caring deeply about her negative feelings about it just made me stop permanently. I wasn't going to do that to myself. It was a weak response. I have the same work to do as you, to just keep p…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/20 09:28 PM
2

stop seeing her as an enemy> Yup, no need to attack or get angry. It's foolhardy. don’t know if those tests were dropped in the same conversation They were. This isn't the first time. Sometimes the the kitchen sink gets thrown at me. It becomes chaotic, illogical, and easy to recognize. STFU and fogging work, usually with a return to calm by the next day.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/20 12:40 PM
2

OYS #4 Late 30s, 6’3" 204# BF 18% (-2) (Navy) Married 8 years, Children: 4 Current Lifts (8/10/20): Bench 5x140#, Shoulder Press 5x75#, Squat 5x180#, Deadlift 5x160#, BB Row 5x125# No Porn / No Fap: 10 days...rewiring. **Physical & Health: Switched from 531 to Stronglifts 5x5. I will continue to work on Chin-ups and on off days do some endurance training (Bike, Rowing). I switched from scale bioimpedence to Navy for BF%. Goals: 1. Run 5x5 to plateau 2. Intermediate-level for all lifts 3. Body we…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/20 08:23 AM
2

Seduction is something that I really need to practice. I find it hard to practice it at home. When I do I can see the tension rise, but I find it hard to sustain it. Also the loops of bad result after bad result removes the motivation. Practicing seduction with strangers, not just women, anyone can be “seduced”, is 100 times easier because it is actually easier and failures don’t bother you. You have to get to the point where rejections don't effect your motivation whether they are with randoms …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/08/20 12:17 PM
2

That makes sense to me. Sounds like I am jumping the gun. Build a base on strength. While rehabbing my legs (10 months out of major surgery), I ran 3 months of Body Beast and while I didn't get much stronger, my chest/shoulders/back got bigger (while I lost a couple of pant sizes at the same weight). I have always done Stronglifts or some variant of 5x5 (like Ivysaur 4x4/4x8). I have never improved body comp so quickly, but I sacrificed strength gains. I am ready to take the training wheels of i…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/20 07:38 PM
2

From this week: Squat 3x230#, DL 3x215#, Bench 3x180#, Military Press 3x105#
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/20 06:44 PM
2

Getting bigger. I am training with increased volume to prioritize muscle growth (in addition to strength).
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/20 06:26 PM
4

Yup. You laid it out. I appreciate the time and effort. I have a lot of fucking work to do. I put so much weight on others needing to validate me so that I could validate myself. I didn't trust myself to do that. i find it difficult to watch myself fail as I am failing, knowing I am not where I need to be because I haven't worked on it or haven't made progress, yet (ie. Frame, game, OYS, internal validation). Again, who gives a shit. I have to innoculate myself against the shame of failing. It's…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/20 03:46 PM
2

OYS #3 Late 30s, 6’3" 203# (+5) BF 20% (Scale BIA) Married 8 years, Children: 4 Physical & Health: Finished week 2 of 531 BBB with Body Beast accessories. I am working on hypertrophy. instead of cardio days, did a high rep low weight circuit training workout. I am now tracking sleep closely and there is lots of room for improvement. Averaged 6 hours this week. Weight is up from increased food/alcohol. This week I will get over 7 hours of sleep each night. Appearance: New hairstyle this summer ha…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/20 11:11 AM
1

This is something for me to think about and explore. For me 3 things stand out: 1. Standards arise from frame. 2. Standards carry a positive connotation of the way things are or will be 3. Expectations come from neediness and external validation I think this is important advice for me
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/20 12:26 AM
1

"You set the standards, and then, you Earn the right to delegate when those under your command respect your leadership enough to actually follow your instructions." "Get it done because you want it done and the buck stops with you even if everyone else fails" I can't just be responsible for what I think is important. I am responsible for everything, specifically for the standards and for executing to make sure the standards are attained. I admit for certain things, I don't really give a shit too…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/08/20 06:32 PM
2

For us, it was going to be either 2 or 4 and 4 it was. Honestly it has been great. I have always wanted to be a dad and I feel fortunate it worked out this way. The truth is I had been encouraging along the way of her going back to work and getting support, but when it came down to working, she wasn't actually interested. From what I can see she doesn't know what she really wants. This is pure tantrum. Sure there is truth, but none of that is for me to fix. It's actually an opportunity for me be…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/07/20 12:54 AM
2

That's the truth. The plan to fix myself is being executed.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/20 04:03 PM
2

I am definitely done with having more children. Already snipped.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/20 02:19 PM
4

OYS #2 Late 30s, 6’3" 203# BF 20% (Scale BIA) Married 8 years, Children: 4 Fitness Stats (7/21/20): Max Reps: Pulls 5, Pushups 25, 1RM: Bench 196#, Shoulder Press 116#, Squat 253#, Deadlift 238#, BB Row 180, Symmetric Strength Score: 52.1 Physical & Health: 3x lifting days. Didn't do cardio. I am between novice and intermediate lifting. Started 5/3/1 BBB and will sub some accessories for Body Beast workouts (hypertrophy circuit training). Legs handling post-rehab workouts. Personal Development: …
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/20 09:16 AM
4

OYS #1 Late 30s, 6’3" 198# BF 20% (Scale BIA) Married 8 years, Children: 4 Fitness Stats (7/21/20): Max Reps: Pulls 5, Pushups 25, 1RM: Bench 196# (goal 215), Shoulder Press 116# (goal 140#), Squat 253# (goal 290#) , Deadlift 238# (goal 250#) BB Row 180 (goal 220) Symmetric Strength Score: 52.1 Intro: I found MMSL as I was trying to fix my anemic sex life, and through that found MRP. Since then, I’ve been lurking and going through the sidebar, constantly reading MRP posts, and MRP-related books.…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/20 11:31 AM
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