TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

darkesthelp Archive

View 2 posts and 45 comments by darkesthelp on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
65

Question For Womendarkesthelp/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 08:04 PM
20

Question For Womendarkesthelp/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 04:26 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
0

TRP got my overlooked nerd friend dates and eventually a wife.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 06:03 AM
2

I'm slowly being converted after years of giving people the benefit of the doubt. Why respect people who don't respect you? I've been highly empathetic all my life and women look me over. Why would these types of men give up control and make nice for a gender that doesn't give a shit about them?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 12:47 AM
3

This is rich. I'm not an incel, I can get sex, but blaming incels for things like social anxiety and the negative feedback loop they experience in society is rich. Why do you think they would isolate themselves, out of pleasure?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 04:09 PM
3

I can't make this example any clearer without spelling it out for you, I'm guessing it's not clicking. I'm not talking about "coupling society". Anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 12:27 AM
2

That's exactly my point. Those who can't don't just go away in society, and they eventually are so disaffected (angry, lonely, frustrated, unseen) that they become a problem. We can pretend like our individual biases and "dating preferences" don't have consequences in society, the reality is they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 12:09 AM
1

It's not a revenge fantasy, it's a society decaying theory. Neurodivergents can be treated like shit in the dating pool but many of them are able to mask and succeed in careers. And people don't need to be in positions of power to cause society issues, look at all the disaffected men and where in society they turn to and why. They find strength in numbers and are already impacting politics on the largest scale.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 11:48 PM
2

Confidence is often unearned and comes naturally based on biology and looks. Then women wonder or are surprised when some of these men end up being abusive - they never had to deal with their emotions and can cycle through women, because there is always a new one who will fawn over a guy like that, so the cycle continues. I have learned the lesson with women and adjusted - the most attractive women who don't have to do any self improvement or self reflection are not the types who make good partn…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 10:57 PM
1

Agree. I've tried everything - very good job, therapy, gym, having more hobbies, being empathetic but not a people pleaser, socializing more, etc, none of it works because I am both anxious and high empathy and women don't like that, they see it as weakness because they want to feel "safe", which translates to physical safety, not emotional.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 10:53 PM
2

The difference is if you are attractive and have unearned confidence, you'll have someone new come your way, so there is no loss. For everyone else who has self improved but is still dealing with something like anxiety (or bad genetics), the same IDGAF strategy means you are just home alone because you have no value.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 10:50 PM
2

Are you ok with the consequences of this position? It means people won't find mates, and the innate drive in humans is to find one. Frustration builds, those people don't just go away and fade into the background, nor should they. Why do you think people fall into fringe social or political movements? And do you expect these men who have been rejected to accommodate you in day to day society, like hiring based on opportunity and not a candidates looks? Fighting for women to be equals? Or followi…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 10:32 PM
13

Pushing awareness. The awareness that how we all act in dating and life has consequences. The worst of each sex ends up standing out and being representative. And honestly, I'm guessing for a lot of us, it's to push against the just world fallacy and the idea that if you are failing in dating you must be a bad person. So that maybe we can stop stuff like women saying "you're a great guy, you'll find someone" and let men decide based on honesty how they want to approach dating. Getting rid of "th…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 10:21 PM
2

What I'm being conditioned to do by my experiences being honest and getting no dating experience because of it is to start lying going forward. Even if it doesn't align with my values. I need dating experience though to learn and grow and to be normal. I'm not a selfish person at all, but I'm trying to see things from that perspective now. I've had my share of bad experiences in short term dating with broken people who never said sorry. I can't keep being the good guy because I'll forever be sit…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 05:26 PM
1

I agree, I don't really see a point in lying but it just doesn't seem to be an effective dating strategy when people have so many options and can just swipe to the next person or unmatch.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 04:43 AM
0

Definitely looking for a serious relationship. Part of the issue is that I'm a late bloomer and had to do a lot of personal development solo. Example - I told someone on an app that I haven't had a long term relationship (because I value being honest). They said they are hesitant because "you learn things through relationships". I said I know and agree. So I'm not sure if I should be employing a different strategy than being honest. It's really against my values though.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 04:41 AM
2

All the comments saying "duh" totally missed the point or didn't read the post body. The key thing being pointed out is whether it is conscious or not. I think the title is rhetorical. I think both sexes are probably guilty of giving preference at subconscious levels.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 01:52 AM
2

What's an alternative theory for why women would be attracted to taller men? That's an honest question. I would think, based on biological interpretation, that it's based on wanting a mate with higher social value, with better access to resources (attractive people are still given preference in today's world), who can protect them from rival mates who might challenge them or who might threaten their offspring. I have heard some women mentioning wanting to feel "safe" and "small".
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 01:33 AM
1

I agree, there is at least some crossover. I guess it depends on what theories one believes, but if we believe in biological drives, I would say: Height: signals dominance, better access to resources, higher testosterone (some women mention wanting to feel "safe" and "small" in dating forums) Facial attractiveness: higher social value, competition from those of the opposite sex for mating Muscle mass: access to resources, protection for the mate and offspring
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 01:27 AM
3

I agree in general (for the "average" man), these are biases that a person has to be conscious of first, then second has to put effort into fighting. Having enough self awareness to know and detect these biases is rare in my experience of people. And even if they are self aware enough, the effort to correct is an ongoing thing that not everyone has the desire to try. For myself, I am aware and I am trying to correct who I give more time and attention to in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 07:23 PM
1

It can be either I guess- I know lots of people who have been through a lot, and because of it, they are kinder to others because they know what it feels like. I agree though, hurt people can indeed hurt people.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 11:31 PM
2

Good input, thanks for sharing your view!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 11:29 PM
2

I've lived 40+ years feeling other people's emotions and dealing with the consequences as well as, now, the positive sides of it. I see someone begging for change and my whole world changes to "what is this person's life like?" and "I wish I could do more". I hear an ambulance and I think "I hope that person is ok". I see people ignored or excluded in social situations and I think, "I know how that feels". I am careful with my words in person because I know they can hurt, even sometimes when we …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 11:26 PM
4

Ideally, women want a mixture of masculinity and emotional intelligence. That is what makes dating hard for us because these men are just not in abundance. This applies to men as well in terms of scarcity of women with certain traits. But, what exactly do you expect us to do? Men don't like women that act like men. Its the same for us. Escape biology and cultural programming and give people a chance? That's what I am doing after realizing very feminine women are not the best partners for someone…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 10:00 PM
2

What does creating a post like this mean? I sense some projection here. I don't subscribe to any red pill stuff, and I mentioned it's a vent and not how I want to be. I suppress this negativity in real life because I know it's not representative or constructive. I am sharing for multiple reasons: input from others, perspective, as well as awareness. I am not representative of everyone. Just as I posted this, I want women to share their bad dating experiences and generalizations with men. Why? Be…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 09:52 PM
3

Some of these traits probably started in a more biological way when they were rooted in survival, but the switch to attractiveness being dictated to us by art, media, and literature being the primary benchmark of beauty and attractiveness goes back way further than I think we imagine. Agree 100% on this. And to your point on conditioning, if all men spoke about their emotions or all women stopped shaving (I would support this from an equality and common sense perspective), we (personally and thr…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 09:43 PM
1

"Often". I am going based on my experiences. I'm sure there are tall guys with high empathy, I most often come across ones without. Also specifically "high" empathy. That's a high bar. Noted on hypergamy, good clarification.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 09:06 PM
2

Yup, good to point out, and I have indeed considered that. And I think it's a mix - a least some of it is cognitive dissonance and some of it is based on my real experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 09:04 PM
3

I don't follow any redpill or manosphere stuff, I am on the opposite end of the spectrum. What I will add is maybe I am going for the wrong people and just seeing a subset of the population when dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 08:57 PM
1

If you think there aren't gender trends driven by biology or social traditions, we won't get anywhere with this discussion. Women don't like tall guys?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 08:53 PM
-1

I never said tall guys can't have empathy. What is hypergamy then?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 08:51 PM
2

I don't believe this is what everyone thinks. I don't want partners like this. But there are enough of these people in the dating pool that it's readily apparent.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 08:50 PM
5

I accept your argument, high energy is probably a red herring.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 08:49 PM
-2

To clarify my argument, it's that there are more (a majority) of low empathy vs high empathy, not that they outright don't exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 08:47 PM
2

Correct. And for things like this, there will probably never be concrete studies. What I can do is no invalidate my own experiences over a lifetime, share them openly, and integrate the experiences and input of others, and come to some hypothesis on how things are.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 08:43 PM
-11

When "attractive personality" means things like "submissive, caretaking, agreeable" in women and "dominant, providing, assertive, fearless" in men, it's based on biology. My point is to highlight that many people that think this way and say "it's just what I find attractive" don't introspect and don't realize there are consequences to making choices this way, and that it comes from bias.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 08:40 PM
1

Fair point, thank you for that
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 08:37 PM
3

Yup, exactly what I am getting at, well said. The lack of introspection by many people is the thing we all need to work on. We can't make choices and then fail to be accountable for what they mean for us and society.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 08:35 PM
3

I mentioned some in my other comments. My experiences as well as looking at society and examples for and against. We may never have hard data but that doesn't mean our observations and experiences aren't indicative of real trends. If someone asked me to prove that men are more sex-driven than women, I'd similarly rely on experiences to tell you, in general, that is true.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 08:33 PM
6

I agree, I am generalizing, glad you found one!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 08:30 PM
1

Agree, there are indeed no rules. There are deeply rooted trends based on traditions and biology though.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 08:30 PM
2

It's not solely tied to looks, I agree. But in general, the trend I see is women dating "up" in terms of social status and what their partner can provide.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 08:29 PM
2

I am a high empathy guy and I have trouble finding men as friends or role models who are also high empathy. The ones I do find are not the types that women would consider traditionally masculine. This applies to the general public as well. Think of traditionally high masculinity men (CEOs, sports stars, lawyers, doctors, etc) - I can provide plenty more examples of low empathy ones vs high empathy ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 08:26 PM
-4

And yes, this is of course, a generalization - but the point is, generalizations are useful if they are coming from observations and not just from negative emotions or pre-existing fixed views. If someone can show me all the high empathy guys who are very traditionally masculine and where they are hiding, I am all ears.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 08:22 PM
-1

I'm a high empathy guy, just to clarify. Over a very long time I have observed a pattern - most conventionally masculine men are not wired for empathy. I am not a scientist but there seems to be a correlation between things like sex hormones (and their expression into physical traits) and having energy and also being able to push against fear.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 08:20 PM
6

I love the CEO example because this is 100% how it works. There is a reason we don't see high empathy people as CEOs. The most toxic people win and we see that as success unfortunately.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 08:15 PM
-1

Agree, we need to be more conscious of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 08:14 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter