decemephemera Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
20	Imagine being this useless For a lot of stores near me, there's even an app where you can search for a product and get a map to where it's located in the store. But my ex husband was helpless like the poster's.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	01/03/22 12:09 AM
43	What are warning signs that the man may become physically abusive? Also, if you ask him to slow down or say that he's scaring you, he won't or he'll escalate. He may say that he was joking/playing, but he's not.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	25/01/22 06:25 AM
49	What are warning signs that the man may become physically abusive? 100% agree on the insecurity. Tied to this, he'll be jealous and want to isolate you. Also - violence towards animals. Does he kick, hit, or throw dogs or cats? This includes strays. Without getting into too much personal information, abusive men can do things like throw a cat at a wall, hit a stray with a bat or board, kick the dog, harm wild animals. Harm to cats is the most concerning, IMO, because men tend to see cats as "feminine," regardless of their biological sex, and attitudes toward ca…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	25/01/22 06:22 AM
3	Casual Sex Confusion Just going to throw out there that there are some mental health issues that can cause hypersexuality. If you feel like it's addictive, like you can't control yourself from having sex even if it makes no strategic sense, it's very possible that what is driving that is a mental health issue. (Also, a lot of people with depression will "self medicate" with sex if it helps them feel better, which may also apply here). Basically, I'd see a mental health professional and look into bipolar II, ADHD, an…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	19/01/22 08:17 AM
2	Apparently not wanting to be assaulted in the bedroom is "vanilla". It's so ridiculous because so few women even consistently experience orgasms from hetero sex, now we're supposed to tack on pain and degradation on top of an already probably unsatisfying and unpleasant experience? It's crazy.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	07/01/22 07:01 AM
14	Men will worry about wether or not their wife is having sex with them, but never consider if they are someone she even WANTS to have sex with, or enjoys what he does in bed. Also literally twisting nipples. Like, what are you, 14? Why do you think that would feel good for me?	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	07/01/22 06:29 AM
68	OP asked for advice and naturally everyone gaslit her into thinking she was at fault To anyone asking why she didn't just drive herself, a couple of things. In the latter part of my pregnancy, I wasn't sleeping well at all. I had bad carpal tunnel problems, back pain, and round ligament pain. Plus, it's just tiring to be pregnant. The night before I went into labor, I was driving home from work, in the winter (dark) and I fell asleep at the wheel. I woke up as I was drifting into the grass median. I'd crossed two lanes of traffic. It was very scary. If she was tired, it might be…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	22/12/21 08:42 AM
1	Serious question, do any of you not want to get married? I grew up in a home where my father was emotionally and physically abusive to my mom. She read a massive amount of romance novels. This was before the Hallmark channel, but 100% that demographic. I grew up steeped in all this true, fated love bullshit. And my mother was just escaping from the nightmare of her life into complete fantasy. Never did leave my dad, he's still a trainwreck. But I've never had any experience with a man that's even remotely like the romance novel/Hallmark movie. And I s…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/12/21 07:47 AM
45	On subreddits outside of FDS women are coming to understand that being “independent” 50/50 women will only attract losers Absolutely. My ex husband, who earned anywhere from 1/2 to 1/4 what I did over the course of the marriage, had set up a secret bank account and was diverting part of his paycheck to it, using it to provide money to a mistress. He's still whining that he doesn't think he got enough equity from the house in the divorce.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	08/12/21 07:22 AM
38	"in sickness and in health" must have a fine print clause that says something like: "except menopause of course". Because so many men abandon their wives during middle age it's astounding. I don't even think that it's primarily about him losing access to sex (and menopause does not even mean that you stop having sex if you want it). It's (1) men are led to believe that they're entitled to a young, beautiful woman forever, and they're totally interchangeable, so just swap out for a newer model, and (2) a woman aging reminds him that he's aging, he knows that men have shorter lifespans and take shit care of themselves, so instead of facing the fear of his mortality, he gets a distra…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	21/11/21 05:03 PM
197	Never beg a man to marry you I found out that my ex husband of 22 years had another family, and two kids, aged 14 and 12, during Covid quarantine.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	21/11/21 02:29 AM
25	“Never tell men about your trauma” Yes, just to add some gender equity to this, my mother is abusive. And she's a very wily type who catalogues everything and then lashes out to use things against you when you're most vulnerable. When I was young, this might be about a boy, or my skin or something. But she'd just viciously use my insecurities against me, often with a big smile on her face. Very predatory, with an incredible instinct for just what to say and when. I hate to go too far into diagnosing her, because we're blood relat…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	11/11/21 02:30 PM
4	Hookup culture is a scam Yes, every few weeks some Twitter account posing as a woman (may or may not really be) posts some kind of "retweet/reply if you fucked on the first date and ended up together" and, honestly, whhhyyyy ? Okay, congrats on being a unicorn, if in fact your relationship is actually happy, but for the majority of women that's going to end in ghosting. Like what's behind this urge to normalize a bad, potentially really harmful decision that's pure lack of strategy and self control?	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/11/21 07:06 AM
10	This is hands down one of the most utterly depressing things I’ve ever seen. No matter how bleak things get, thanks to FDS we’ll never be this woman, passively rejected for a proposal by her child’s father after 11 YEARS of dating. I learned, during Covid lockdown last year, that my ex husband, to whom I was married for 22 years, had not only been cheating for years, but apparently has two children with her, 14 and 11. I honestly have no idea how he managed it. But she always knew about me and was apparently fine with crumbs from him, I guess you can get up to a lot during lunch hours, "work travel," or who knows what stolen time.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/11/21 05:59 AM
16	No return policy - why do they always come back? I have a bad ex from an ill-advised workplace relationship. And he's been haunting my life for literal years. Because of work, I can't block him entirely, but I ignore any kind of personal communication and answer with as few words as possible any work-related emails. But this dude reaches out to me anywhere from every 3 months to 3 times a week, it's extremely variable, and there seems to be no point or goal to it. There will be periods of intensity that seem to have nothing to do with me, then…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	02/11/21 05:34 AM
13	Men will date/marry women they aren’t even attracted to/like, if their appearance brings them status. Yeah, I guess it's that I work in a male dominated field (lawyers) and my colleagues will very openly admit that they have the Instagram-ready family (typically blonde, sahm, yoga-fit wife) for appearances and because of expectations. I've known several who will open say that they won't get a vasectomy, for example, because they want to keep their options open to have a second marriage and second family with a younger woman when their "starter" wife ages out of the "men envy me" stage. So there'…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	31/10/21 01:27 AM
5	Help! My climbing partner accused me of “inappropriately touching her boyfriend” and I’m worried she is not a pick-me, but a victim of emotional abuse. What do I do? You can't save people who don't want to be saved - 100%. My former sister-in-law married a guy who tried to strangle her and sent her to the ER. You'd think that would be an obvious wake up call, but they got secretly (shamefully) married like a month later, it was as if the violence brought them closer. Nothing you can do, really.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	30/10/21 11:11 PM
71	Men will date/marry women they aren’t even attracted to/like, if their appearance brings them status. Yes. It's not just that men are incredibly shallow. It's that "bros before hoes" is literally their governing principle. They care solely about what other men think of them. It's all insecure, middle school psychology. The only real people to them are other men, and the only thing that matters is their status with other men and whether other men want what they have. There's a disturbing thread on another sub where men are talking about women who treated them like kings, who were smart and funny …	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	30/10/21 09:53 PM
49	“Under the patriarchal rules they ascribe to, providing financial support should come with the promise of control.” My ex literally kidnapped my son, moved with him 40 minutes away, pretended to live in an apartment where they didn't live anymore, and coerced my 9yo son to lie to me about this whole secret life they were living (shacked up with ex's mistress, who I hadn't known about). But the court awarded him 50/50 custody. Sure, seems fine, great parent material. Judge outright said that the bar was so low for dads, that if they even claimed to want 50/50, they'd get it. Ex uses custody to f with me consta…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	30/10/21 09:43 PM
20	Sex without intimacy is boring and low value. Knew a young woman who took pride in being a self-proclaimed "most sexual woman" most guys had ever met. Lots of hookups. One day she let slip that she never had an orgasm during all these "hot" encounters. Like, girl, what? Why?	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	04/10/21 04:33 PM