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deconblues1160 Archive

View 0 posts and 64 comments by deconblues1160 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

Never lie if asked by them. You want to be seen as the truthful parent. Controlling the narrative with them is important, you do not want her twisting facts and trying to make you the bad person.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 06:27 PM
4

Your parents are right, set small attainable goals and work from there. Trying to do everything at once is going to overwhelm you and make things worse. Follow your Lawyer‘s plan to the letter. Their goal is to achieve the goals that you want. Make sure you tell the lawyer what your non-negotiables are that you want. Whether that’s 50/50 custody or something financial. Communication with your lawyer is essential to a successful outcome for you. As for your soon to be ex-wife, the best you can do…
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 03:32 PM
15

As others have said, you are getting divorced. She is not your problem anymore. Make sure you control the narrative, especially if you have children. You do not want her to feel hurt and start painting you as the bad person and reason for divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 09:10 PM
5

You need to get a custody agreement that spells out everything. Anything with ambiguity usually ends up with the custodial parent making all the decisions.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/25 06:21 PM
1

As much as you may want an amiable divorce, the best thing, is what you are doing and getting an attorney. Tell them what you want out of the divorce and follow their plan. Check to see if legal and with attorney. If legal start recording your interactions with her. You do not want her trying to get a false police report against you to try and get you removed from house or gain an advantage in divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 05:12 PM
1

Find another attorney or contact your attorney and see who is covering for them. This is not a matter that you want to let wait until February. You need to be as proactive as you can to protect yourself and son.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 03:45 PM
1

Ask your lawyer to seek your ex paying your legal fees. She is the one pushing to change the custody agreement.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 03:30 PM
6

Check with your state before you do anything. But if it’s OK, you should make sure you record every interaction you have with her. You don’t want her trying to have a false police report filed against you to try and gain an advantage. Also, if possible, communicate to her when necessary in either email or text form. You want to have a written record of what was said. The more you can protect yourself from her doing something to influence the courts the better it is for you. Make sure you follow …
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/24 01:53 AM
14

No.
/r/MensRights22/12/24 03:36 AM
3

Is it possible she had somebody in mind when she spoke about divorce and that fell through.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 10:26 PM
1

Is it possible there is a third party involved.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 09:19 PM
5

Let the lawyer know about her actions with the kids. Check about your state. But start recording your interactions with her. You do not want her trying to get you out of the house by filing a false police report. Start changing your mindset about her. The person you loved and thought you knew no longer exists. This new person is your enemy that will do everything they can to maximize their position in the divorce even if that means destroying you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 05:38 PM
8

Is it possible she had planned to leave for somebody and it fell through. A grass is greener scenario. That would explain the reversal and the initial divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 12:11 AM
16

She is trying to set you up. Do not meet her without your lawyer. She is trying to get a police report filed on you, so she can gain an advantage.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/24 10:54 PM
3

Speak with your attorney and see what they think is the best course of action. It’s never going to end with her and some people continue the arguing even after the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 01:02 PM
7

You need to have a Lawyer ASAP. Otherwise, she is going to manipulate the system and destroy your chances at 50-50 custody. She will also take as much from you as possible. Do not trust her anymore. She is an adversary. Start recording on your cell phone all your interactions with her. You do not need her trying to get a false police report on you and force you from the house that way. Protecting yourself financially and custody wise should be your primary concern.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 01:53 AM
4

You have the right mindset. He took the problem off your hands.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 01:40 AM
11

You know he was fed a line of lies so that she could justify her actions to him. The fact that you come off as a calm, rational person destroys that narrative. A relationship founded in cheating is bound to end in cheating.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 01:25 AM
8

For me, it has nothing to do with revenge. It has to do with doing the right thing. I think telling the spouse is the moral thing to do. If the situation was reversed, you would want to know. Also, you don’t know if the AP is having sex with multiple partners. So letting her know is also a health issue. Along those lines, have you made sure you had an STD test. I would not trust anything your wife says. That being said, I understand your concern with rocking the boat while you’re in the middle o…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 03:21 AM
5

Have you told the AP’s wife yet? I know you wanna wait until after the holidays. But I think the sooner you can get her out of the house. The better it will be for you. Having the daily reminder of the betrayal and her having moved on from the marriage is not healthy for you mentally
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 02:45 AM
1

It makes you wonder about the guy.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 07:32 PM
1

You want to find one that has worked in the municipality that you’re going to file divorce in. This way, they have a working relationship with the family court system that you will be having your divorce processed in.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 03:59 PM
4

You need to start making the necessary moves to move forward for yourself. You need to find the time for a lawyer consultation and get that started. Dragging out the inevitable is going to do nothing but cause you heartache and anxiety. She’s moved on. She’s not coming back. The sooner you can separate everything the better it will be emotionally for you. Once you get divorced, you go on a coparenting app and you go low contact and you don’t have to worry about her problems. The longer you wait …
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 03:47 PM
11

You have the right attitude. The lying cheater is now someone else’s problem.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 07:25 PM
7

You need to see a therapist and talk through the issues you have. Divorce is very traumatic and affects people differently.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 01:55 AM
1

I understand what you’re saying. When my lawyer’s financial team came back during the initial divorce talk and gave me the numbers I was in shock. Mine would’ve been entitled to a percentage of the business. You can Imagine how great the conversation was with my partners when I had to explain that scenario. If you are thinking about the pay and stay, I would make sure that the two of you have some hard boundaries and rules in place. I would address it almost like a business relationship. That’s …
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 02:56 AM
1

Then the status quo is actually the best financial arrangement, if I understand correctly. The question becomes what are you both doing intimacy wise. Are both of you ok with each other dating or no dating rule. I understand staying for financial reasons. I made that decision years ago. The difference being my wife wanted to reconcile and we ended up with intimacy in our relationship. There are many variables that would need to be worked out for it to work.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 01:05 AM
2

People change over time. I speak from personal experience of having a wife who had an EA. We tend to put blinders on with our spouses. We get comfortable with who they are and see them through rose colored glasses. As a result, we don’t see them changing and the warts that have developed in the relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 07:30 PM
1

I’m not sure what the laws are in Texas. But maybe you’ll be able to sue the affair partner. If he’s a high profile person in the community, he may choose to settle instead of dealing with the negative publicity.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 07:26 PM
23

The marriage is over. She has emotional checked out. She is having what is called an exit affair. It takes two to reconcile and currently it is only one. She may comeback as the affair fog clears if she really cuts him off, I doubt she will. You can suggest marriage counseling, although I think she is beyond that. Either way, the prudent thing is to see a family lawyer and prepare for divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 06:39 PM
8

I thought the same thing. She is going back to see how committed they are before she destroys her safety net.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/24 11:11 PM
11

See a lawyer ASAP. There is no talking. The relationship is over. Start protecting yourself financially.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/24 05:05 PM
5

You need to see a lawyer. The answer to your questions varies by state and personal circumstances. A family lawyer would be able to give you a more detailed explanation.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/24 09:04 PM
1

Agreed, that would be a very big ask to anybody that is not a spouse.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 02:21 AM
0

For me, it would come down to, how much I thought not helping her would damage the relationship between my son and I. It would also matter what kind of help they were expecting from me.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 02:10 AM
1

I think you have a right to be selfish after what you went through. The problem becomes explaining it to your son in a way that does not alienate him. I know people will say it doesn’t matter what the son thinks, you do what is best for you. I understand that argument. But I also understand it from the point of view that it’s a delicate issue that requires diplomacy and balance towards your son. How old is your son?
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 01:51 AM
3

What you need to do is see a lawyer. The laws vary by state, county and municipality. You find a good family lawyer and you let them handle everything. You explain what you want and they will work a plan out to help you achieve what you want. A lot of things in many states are automatic and they’re calculated using calculators and formulas.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 04:15 PM
1

If you are seriously considering a divorce, see a lawyer for a consultation. Before you go, write a list of questions you have and then ask them when you’re there. That will give you a better idea of the process, financial cost, and custody issues that you will experience. Once you have all this information, you can then make an informed educated decision if this is really the best thing for you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 02:39 PM
1

At this point, you should be talking to a lawyer, if you do not have one yet. You should be explaining to them the situation and whatever evidence they have. They can guide you on the best defense to counter what she has and what she has planned. It is obvious this is going to be a divorce and court battle. The Lawyer will know best what evidence counts better than others. You should be in full protect yourself mode.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 01:41 AM
15

Others have said this, but talk to a lawyer. She’s done with the marriage. You’re just the last person to realize it. She says she needs her space that combined with her actions illustrating that of a single woman. At some point you’re gonna need to come to that realization that she has moved on. Her actions are telling you what she’s planning on doing in the future.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 02:35 AM
2

Lawyers are like doctors you can get a second opinion. If you are not comfortable with what the lawyer told you concerning the paternity law in your state. There’s nothing stopping you from seeing a different Lawyer and getting their opinion concerning what the law means.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 04:16 PM
3

See a lawyer ASAP about the situation.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/24 12:51 PM
9

Just use a coparenting app. She wants to bring the drama, you don’t need that in your life. Just move forward.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/24 12:18 AM
14

Her stipulation is not that out of the ordinary. If you think there may be a chance, then why add more drama to the mix. Take the time and work on what you want and if you two are worth continuing the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 11:14 PM
1

Affair partner
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 11:00 PM
19

It always amazes me when cheaters leave for their AP. Then their AP ends up cheating on them. Did they really think they were that special.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 09:37 PM
24

It could be for the reason you stated. It could also be that the grass was not greener when she got to the other side. I’ve read a lot of stories about middle-aged women who initiate divorce thinking that it’s going to be wonderful. But once they get out there on their own it turns out to be not what was expected. Although I assume that feeling could be true for both men and women.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 09:14 PM
4

Just let her go. She is no longer your issue. Just be glad you are almost free of her.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 12:59 PM
11

When she texts you in a few months after the divorce leave her on read.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 01:31 AM
3

Get your own lawyer. If her boyfriend is coaching her like you say, you have no idea what he is telling her. Protecting yourself and children financially should be your main goal. It is going to get hard. When money and assets are involved people act differently than you think.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 12:25 AM
3

Have lawyer handle it. Better to have an expert do it, in case you make a mistake. Could end up being cheaper having lawyer on call in the end.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 12:23 AM
1

Get a lawyer ASAP. If you cannot afford one contact the legal aid society or Bar Association in your area for a pro bono lawyer. There are many organizations that will help you in the state start calling them and ask for help. Everytime the police are involved there is a record of the incident. She is building a case for domestic abuse.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 07:28 PM
–

Get a lawyer ASAP. If you cannot afford one contact the legal aid society or Bar Association in your area for a pro bono lawyer. There are many organizations that will help you in the state start calling them and ask for help.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 07:27 PM
2

There are lots of non profit legal organizations that will help.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 05:39 PM
7

Speak with a lawyer. Whatever, you do she is not going to stop. The affair fog has lifted and now she is standing in the ruble of what she agreed to wondering how she agreed to it. While you’re waiting, she probably already has gotten a lawyer and is contemplating how to take you back to court for more support. You have now become her ATM.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 04:55 PM
0

Consult a lawyer. Make sure you are video taping all encounters with your wife. Stay calm and let lawyer work it out. If you get upset it will give her a reason to call police. That will complicate custody and divorce for you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 03:43 PM
1

Parental alienation is real and hard to prove. But it is provable, it just will cost money, time and involve outside resources. It may be easier to speak with ex. But if that does not work get lawyer involved.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 04:05 PM
0

Protect yourself against the sheriff deputy. Take the evidence and give it to your lawyer. This way if you suddenly start having trouble with the police, your lawyer can file a complaint.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/24 04:58 PM
1

That is a valid concern. Remember she is now your adversary. While it is hard to think like that after so long. She is looking out for what is best for her and if you get screwed in the process. Then you are collateral damage. The only person looking after your interests are you and your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 08:55 PM
9

Have at least a meeting with a lawyer. This is one of the biggest events ever in your life. Find out your rights and responsibilities are from somebody familiar with CT family law.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 05:03 PM
6

She was immature and needed to be the center of attention all the time.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 12:48 AM
2

Just tell her you are awaiting legal advice on this issue.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 04:59 PM
6

Why do you not have a lawyer? She had one. Are you trying to destroy your future on purpose. She is now your adversary . She sought legal advice to maximize her gains and minimize her losses. You should be thinking like that too.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 04:40 PM
2

NJ is a hard state for men and divorce. See a lawyer and get your options. Follow what they say to the letter.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 03:26 PM
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