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defnotjaywtf Archive

View 1 post and 19 comments by defnotjaywtf on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
30

Dating After Divorcedefnotjaywtf/r/Divorce_Men06/09/25 02:39 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Not hard with 50/50 to date, I have either 3 or 4 open nights a week to go out. I try to reserve one night for friends, one for dating, chill out the other nights. It’s hard to spend a lot of time with the person you’re dating until you can integrate them into your child’s lives, which could take many months to get there.. We have a rule no introducing new partners until you’ve been exclusive with them for 6 mo’s, which feels pretty spot on
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 04:58 AM
0

Wrong, “anyone” doesn’t cheat. Weak people with no morals and low values, cheat. Women don’t slip and fall on someone’s dick, it’s an intentional decision they made. Whether it was planned or unplanned (eg random one night stand at a bar) is a different story, but only a certain type of person follows through with cheating.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/25 02:39 AM
2

There’s a difference between waiting a year to seek a relationship, and when you’re ready to casually see women for a friends with benefits situation, if you’re transparent. I was planning on waiting 6 MO’s for FWB, but I live in a major city and there’s a lot of girls looking for same thing, so it made it easy for me to ease back in with no pressure, just having fun again, which to me is very important as I’m a social person. I will say, gotta be careful to not catch feelings. I did good until …
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 12:12 AM
3

Same boat. I was in a world of hurt for ~3 mo’s, then one day I just woke up and didn’t give a shit. I emotionally disconnected. Started being social again, had a situationship with a few women, life was good again. There are days when we have co parenting events and that stings, but other than those days i really don’t think about her and let her take up space. Her new reality is new setting in, grass isn’t always greener!! Mine is setting in now too, I have lots of options and the women I spen…
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 03:04 PM
1

Apps. You gotta play the game and pay to boost your profile on Sunday nights.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/25 04:12 PM
2

Eh kinda, but not really. I enjoy going out, and being social, so why not do it with someone that’s looking for something similar to me? I honestly don’t put too much effort into the apps. I’m forward and don’t chase, so only succeed with 15-20% of the people I match with. When I eventually want to actually date with purpose, it will be a lot more work.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/25 07:07 PM
2

Similar situation. 18 total years, 14 years married. Something happens to women (not all, but a lot) in their late 30’s, after they have kids, where they turn into emotional children, forget how to communicate and become very selfish. I disagree on marriage being a sham. We had 14 great years, until heavy depression and drug use hit my ex, and she became an entirely different person. I refused to spend the rest of my life with this person whose core values changed so much. However she made me wh…
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 01:49 AM
6

My alimony check is significantly less than her monthly “allowance” was, I rationalize I save 65% on my out of pocket. I hate more than anything she turned into an absolute bum, highly depressed and had high anxiety to be a SAHM or return to the workforce. She choose option C, literally do nothing for 4 yrs, which caused the divorce. Oh, also the affairs at the end, so I cut her off at the knees and her settlement will be significantly less if she would have just waited a few more months to fuck…
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 01:01 PM
1

[ Removed by Reddit ]
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 10:59 PM
3

Go to rehab or a therapy clinic, or I’m leaving. I left.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 01:17 AM
1

Sorry didn’t give any tips. -Both ppl must leave other place with clean bed sheets, generally clean home and clean sink with no dishes -We rented a place 3 blocks from where our main home is, and even on non custody days the other is allowed to pop in whenever (obviously pre approved via text first) to spend additional time with our kid. Also if we’re in custody day, and need a sitter, the ex gets first look. -no members of opposite sex (fine if long standing platonic friends) allowed in main ho…
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 03:32 PM
2

Well, I feel like it works if you can mentally process seeing your ex’s stuff in both your homes. It’s best for your kids to give them a soft landing. We committed to 12 months, re evaluate after that. IMO it works until one of you meets someone and things get serious. I know I’m not getting serious with anyone for atleast 12 MO’s so I’m not worried about that aspect. Even though I hate my ex of 18 yrs (12 yrs married) with the passion of a thousand burning suns for being a horrible mom and gett…
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 03:23 PM
3

Ha, she’ll only see the small condo I use on my non custody days. My ex and I nest, in our multi million dollar townhome, and have a rule no members of opposite sex allowed while our kid is there. I also am not interested at this point in time in a blended family situation, just having fun and rediscovering myself.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 03:04 PM
14

I agree with everything above. Similar situation and it hurts so bad. My ex took everything for granted, we made it in the most expensive city in America, living a fantastic life, and she kept wanting more without putting anything in. In the end we lived in different worlds, with mine being reality and hers being a reality tv show on Saturn. I just started putting myself out there again and am super guarded. I don’t talk about my work, and try to hide how much money I make. I want to find someon…
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 02:45 PM
3

I feel you. It hurts so bad knowing we’d do absolutely anything for our kids, and my ex wife consistently puts herself first, and would do “anything” for our son as long as it’s convenient for her.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 02:06 PM
2

Going through same situation. It’s insanely hard, but here’s what has been helpful for me -don’t spill the tea with your kids, put on a brave face and act like all is ok -spill the tea with your therapist, lawyer, Reddit and 1-2 best friends that have the emotional capacity to listen and respond -I saved my knowledge about her numerous affairs until mediation, worked with my lawyer how to weave it in and when it made sense. Was a great nuclear bomb to save as needed. -I know she hasn’t done any …
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 01:18 PM
2

This is what worked for me. Fully detached and I moved on, and it is making my ex upset. A real win-win!
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 05:45 PM
1

Kids/depression. My wife was dealing with some depression pre kids, then got post partum and let go from her job 2 months after returning from maternity. 3 1/2 yrs later she is still depressed and takes no accountability into being a SAHM (still paid full time nanny) or looking for a new job. This led to a lot of resentment from me, that turned into a viscous cycle. I warned her a year ago the resentment is getting so bad if there’s no change of seeking help, becoming a SAHM or trying to get a j…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 04:54 PM
3

I was crushed like you, and didnt know how I’d ever move on. My wife is gorgeous, and very sex positive, so I knew the second we “separated “ she’d start fucking half the city, and it ate me up inside. Then I found out she had an affair, and immediately she became so ugly and repulsive I couldn’t care less what she does in her free time. She’s someone else’s problem now. She spent no time reflecting on herself, her depression and substance abuse issues led to the divorce and she’s doing nothing …
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/25 02:19 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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