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delawen Archive

View 0 posts and 84 comments by delawen on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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30

Matt Perry looks like he’s heading down the same path as Keith Richards They have some things in common: https://www.biography.com/news/matthew-perry-addiction-friends
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 07:43 AM
12

Of course husband doesn't want me to make new friends in our area (every time I talked about it before he acted like I was talking about finding a boyfriend... Literally said stuff like "ok just go fuck whoever you want just don't kiss our kids with the same mouth you're sucking dick with!"... God he benifits so much from my shit memory.. Didn't remember this til now). Now I'm worried. Are you sure this is not an abusive relationship? Because if it is, then you should leave faster. Having shitty…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 02:36 PM
25

But hopefully I can leave sometime soon It will never be the perfect time. Don't wait more. Make sure this Summer is going to be a happy Summer for you. Plus, leave before your kids are old enough to learn that that is a normal relationship. Editing to add: You may feel overwhelmed thinking on living alone with two kids if you leave now. Well, statistics say you will even have more free time because you don't have to cook/clean/care about your husband anymore. The only mess you will have to clea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 08:50 AM
4

OK - not linking, sorry, didn't realize.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 02:25 PM
55

“don’t know how to work the app and can’t change it” Who would want to date someone as useless as that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 04:36 PM
39

Marriage also just seems like a way to make breaking up 50,000x harder for no good reason. In some countries, marriage (or the equivalent) can be useful as a way to protect yourself. Like inheritance or making sure medical decisions are made by a person that cares about you. But that only happens if you can trust your partner. If you are married to someone for love and not as a rational decision, you are lost. I think the legal/protection aspect of marriage in USA gets lost as divorce becomes a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 08:11 AM
93

They say it's completely unromantic, The older I get, the more romantic I find the notion of being with someone even if you can leave anytime you want. I don't want someone tied to me and being my partner just because they feel forced to or by some kind of chivalrous obligation to protect me. I want a relationship were both can leave whenever they want. And they both want to stay because it is what they want. The freedom of being able to walk out and not using it because you are happy. That's it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 10:21 AM
8

Well, that's another unexpected check of red flags. As a bi woman I had that question pop up very frequently when meeting promising people. I'm not in the closet but neither in the open, so they may have seen some hints and want to clarify. That's fine. And the following conversation is most illuminating. Asking if I'm open to threesomes is still valid (although the wording is important here) because sex compatibility is very important to me. So asking for my sex preferences is good, even if my …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 08:58 AM
10

At some moment I started answering those insults with something in the lines of: "If that's the worst you can think about me, then I must be near perfect!" and that kind of worked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 11:14 AM
35

As a woman that has lived as plus, average and small sizes, I can confirm: as a plus you get a lot of men interested that will become more violent if you reject them. Their entitlement is astounding. They assume an "attractive" woman can reject them, but a plus size? We are infrawomen to them. With a status below average size women, so imagine how low we are on their minds. Now I'm settled on a standard beauty size, and it's when i get the most peaceful interactions with men. Less violence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 06:42 AM
33

You are right. In my experience, if they are into it, they understand how it works, the preparation it needs and they understand why "no" is a complete answer on this case.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 01:34 PM
148

I always told them that if they want anal, I'm all for it. But first we try on him. What size do they want to introduce me? Perfect, give me a few hours and while you prepare yourself (because good anal needs preparation), I will buy a strapon that size. You can't give proper anal unless you have experienced it in yourself first and understand how delicate and hurtful it can be if done bad. You have to understand that first to be able to pleasure your partner. If any of them would have said yes,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 09:16 AM
75

Or maybe even you like it, but you are not in the mood at that particular time. Just because you like something doesn't mean you have to do it every single time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 09:07 AM
76

The layers of privilege in this country Just want to add: worldwide. Maybe racism is not as big in other countries, but they will have other issues (hate based on religion, for example).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 09:35 AM
26

Her obsession with strippers was so weird to me. That's also a kink, liking to see your partner having sex (or getting intimate) with others. I mean, if someone really likes that... Not for me, thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 10:17 AM
20

I don't know. While being overweight I got an insane amount of attention. Because they thought I would accept anything from anyone. I was overweight, that means I must be desperate, right? They have to be the first man that spoke to me in ages. They are doing me a favor! Sure, darling, guess again. (The violence after rejection was worse too. They couldn't believe my audacity not wanting to have sex while being overweight!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 04:40 PM
52

I have good news for you! My health was deteriorating very quickly while I was with my abusive ex. But now it's almost recovered, I even have less gray hairs. I am almost as I was 20 years ago. It's like magic :) So it's never too late to turn your life on the right path.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 11:29 AM
13

A man who fears sex toys is a man not worth to have sex with. If they don't see that sex toys can be used as an addition, they are bad in bed. That's it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 08:43 AM
4

Five years later, still waiting for trial. As it is legally classified as "theft", it is not prioritized.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 01:15 PM
12

I guess luck plays a big part here. I had to ask for help to convince my NVM-ex out of the house. The lease was on my name and his plan was that I was the one leaving and he stays there. I am not sure if he expected me to continue paying the rent or he would just barricade himself in until police get him out. I'm in Spain so he didn't really have any legal claim over my rented house, as long as he had an alternative (his mom's). I think he thought he could manipulate me into staying, as many tim…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 09:42 AM
40

Do people really check the time of the message? I mean, check how long if it takes too long but that's it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 03:10 PM
3

5000/month is also very dependent on where you live. In Europe 2400 is not a bad salary... but then all you medical bills are covered forever, no matter what, so that's a ton of money as you don't have to save for when you are old and/or sick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 04:42 PM
6

What programming language do you recommend to begin with? As a Software Engineer I suggest you start with one of the paths on https://www.freecodecamp.org/learn. They are good, self-paced and free.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 04:35 PM
6

It was the r Feminist subreddit. They banned me without reason too on my very first comment there. Lucky you, I never got an answer on why. And it wasn't even a "controversial" topic as yours, it was a very simple feminism 101 explanation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 11:29 AM
47

My abusive ex loved to do that to me. Whenever we went out eating, we usually ordered some shared dishes. And then he started eating on my side of the dish until it was over (while his half has almost full) and then started gas-lighting me saying that I ate more than half and was starving him. Because he thought I was eating too much. I have to confess that it took me too long (like half a year) until I realized what he was doing and confronted him. So many red flags...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 03:53 PM
5

I talked about Spain because that's where I live and what I know. But from what I understand, you can find similar laws all across Europe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 06:55 PM
9

Don’t Europeans overall get married at lower rates than Americans? Yes, we marry less and less and much later. Probably related to marriage being linked to religion, which is also in decline. https://ec.europa.eu/eurostat/statistics-explained/index.php/Marriage_and_divorce_statistics There's also a more open legislation regarding couples than in USA I think. In Spain, our "de facto couple" (pareja de hecho) gives you most of the same benefits of marriage but on a simpler legal way. "Divorces" ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 05:54 PM
12

Sex when he wants and not when you want. I never saw it until I got into relationship advice reddits. Seems to be a thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 12:20 PM
15

Precisely because I want things simple that's why I want to vet how it is living together before marriage. Maybe this is one of the European differences in FDS. Or maybe I'm just old. Or maybe it's because I'm usually the one with the higher salary and I want to keep things clearly separated. But I would never marry someone I haven't vetted first by living together before. And living together does never mean to cook, clean, or do any housework for him. If he's incompetent on the housework line, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 12:07 PM
2

I wouldn't say living together has to come with wife benefits. It always depends on how you plan it and which red lines you establish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 11:09 AM
30

It is easy to fake high value during a few months. Even easier to fake it if you are not living together. To me the bare minimum to label would be one year after living together. Before that, you can't possibly have enough data to discern. And even a year is sometimes not enough, if they are good persons that try hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 10:28 AM
21

And his other adoptive daughter has something to say too: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/dylan-farrow-woody-allens-adopted-daughter-speaks-out-on-sexual-assault-allegations/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 01:18 PM
8

I have a similar story. Long story short: I spent two decades going to doctors for my weight gains. Every year I desperately tried a new doctor and they just gaslighted me, told me I am lying and not following the diet and exercise and gave me a more restricted diet to follow. I ended up with a diet that had half the days 700 calories and half the days 850 calories. 2/3 days in the gym a week. I felt shitty, ill, awful, aching, puking, dizzy,... and end up gaining more weight anyway. Because I e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 09:03 AM
35

I also had to cancel all my credit cards. And my company warned me that there had been hacking attempts to my email with an old password (plus no two factor authentication so it miserably failed). Always enable 2FA on all your accounts, specially email. I mean, I have no proof it was him (or that would have sum up to the trial we have pending) but it was suspiciously close to the date of breakup and never ever happened anything similar again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 07:09 AM
98

When I found FDS in December 2020 Greetings from the past :) Tell me, is the pandemic still growing in two months? Do we have a vaccine yet? And by the way, congratulations for your evolution. I'm sure this is just the beginning of a wonderful new life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 07:49 AM
18

You don't need a photo for that...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 02:45 PM
15

Which is pretty stupid, because at that time I didn't have much of a comment history, I was just joining and starting to participate in as many feminists/women subs as I could. They were just judging a newbie (even if my account is pretty old already, I really started like a year ago). I don't agree with all the handbook and I don't agree with many things said here (I think this is cultural, as another post by a french woman pointed recently). But that doesn't stop me from getting the best from …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 11:47 AM
120

I was banned from r/Feminism on my first comment for explaining to someone why "woman can't handle the truth" was male chauvinism: 1.- The assumption that women are like minors, you can't tell them the full truth. Some man has to decide what they can or can't know for their own good. 2.- The assumption that even if women can learn the truth, they will have to accommodate to your point of view. They can't react like they have their own personality and interests. TLDR: Thinking women can't handle …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 07:49 AM
27

Thank you! After all these I kind of became "obsessed" into empowering women. I can't imagine how hard it must be to go through the same process if I had no job, no money* or no safety network where I could crash while I recover. It doesn't matter how good and how loving he is. If you can't run away easily and leave him behind, you are trapped. Your jail may be a golden jail at the beginning, but you can't predict the future. You are just betting your life on him treating you right. *in economic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 09:26 AM
61

5 years ago I was able to "return" my abusive ex to his family. Dangerous move, being him the one who moves, but as I was on the rental contract, I had not much choice. Either that or get in debt because he doesn't pay rent and then being the responsible person of whatever he broke in the house. I was very lucky because I had a good job and he was unable to make me cut ties with my family (he did make me cut ties with all my friends, though). To summarize it: he stole many things from me, broke …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 07:25 AM
284

I'm willing to bet she found a woman :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 08:12 AM
16

Surprise spoiler: probably you weren't even talking to a woman, it was just a lonely guy faking to be his girlfriend. Maybe even the girlfriend exists, but she doesn't know he's using her photos for this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 01:22 PM
10

I ended up laughing anytime someone tried to insult me because of my weight. So, that's the worst thing you can find about me? That's the thing you think will hurt me most? Then I must be awesome!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 02:27 PM
8

If someone does not want to be with me because of my sexual history, bullet dodged.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 09:21 AM
3

Thank you! !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 05:04 PM
7

I don't remember that part. Where exactly is it? Edit: Maybe it is an English expression I'm missing as a not native speaker? I can't find anything related to dumb or fox credo/behaviour. Or maybe I'm just skipping some important link?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 10:37 AM
135

I'm going to repeat myself again and again on this: if they are so eager to have sex and they don't care who they have sex with, they can have sex with each other. Maybe that will teach them why we don't want random guys having sex with us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 07:16 AM
36

That’s why I am an advocate of using dumb fox strategy with men. They do not need to know how smart I am. Unfortunately, that doesn't work on most cases. If you have an intellectual job, playing dumb means you are going to skip pay raises and get stuck on lower levels. In your relationship, playing dumb probably means having to do whatever your partner wants or face a fight (why would you both do what you think is best, if you are dumb and he knows best?). Same at a lesser lever with other types…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 06:54 AM
15

To be fair, when I was with my abusive ex, a therapist took less than two sessions to suggest me to leave him. I took a couple of months more to make it happen, but the push was there: subtle and constant. She never told me directly and explicitly that I should leave, just asked the right questions to me so my conclusion was to leave. And she never told me to work on the relationship, she told me directly to work on myself and let him work on the relationship, if he wanted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 01:24 PM
18

This. I sometimes feel some kind of nostalgia on past times, as if being married soon because you can't develop your own career and having kids soon because there is no birth control is something good. I have even read about how bad divorces are for women because men abandon their wifes after they used them. But we are the ones that are empowered by all this. Now we are not forced to marry young, we can grow up and evolve independently and marry only when we want. Men don't want to settle down y…
/r/askFDS10/08/20 09:02 AM
3

but a future employer may think differently, especially if rabid NVM on the internet have abused it on p0rn0graphic sites or edited your images onto "deep fake" p0rn You touch a good point: deep fake porn. Anyone can build a video of anyone doing anything if you have enough minutes (was it five?) of innocent video of them. We are beyond the point to easily prove they are real videos (or not). So there may be very realistic nudes of you (and me) out there even if we never took any nude. Not somet…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 02:42 PM
40

Never sent a photo or video you are not prepared to see published online. Even if you only send it to unicorns that will make good use of them, there's always the possibility they (or you) get hacked and the photos end up somewhere you don't control. Said that, we don't have to be ashamed if someone publishes our nudes. Specially if it is without our permission. Shame on them, not us. Our bodies are beautiful, nothing to be ashamed on a nude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 05:43 PM
26

Technically I guess I'm still dating this guy who was living on another city and we just stopped messaging like 20 years ago. We never broke up. Funny thing is: I don't even remember his name, I can't find him to break up now even if I wanted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 01:25 PM
11

I guess some men will fake being mature about it long enough to get info to use it against you. But that can only harm you if you tell something that can be used against you. I am not ashamed of my sexual past, I am not ashamed of my promiscuity when I don't have a partner. I know I never did anything bad (regarding sex and past relationships). So if anyone tries to hold any of my past against me. that's the biggest red flag and they can start packing already. But if there's something in your pa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 01:28 PM
51

The question itself is stupid even if you are willing to marry someday. -But what about when you get married? 1.- My partner can live here too, if they don't have a house of their own. 2.- I can sell the house to buy a joint house with my partner. 3.- I can rent the house while I don't live there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 04:22 PM
65

Plus the amount of manipulation these pictures usually have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 12:31 PM
21

Why were you even talking to him about a date with such a big gap? You are starting your life, he's... I don't know where he is, but he's for sure on a different place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 10:43 AM
88

How generous of you! 3 chances! I give one and that's already too much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 06:42 AM
52

Hooking up was empowering to me. After getting out of an abusive relationship, I was able to take control back into my life. And having casual sex with no attachments and no relationship stuff around it was good to me because I could control what happened in my sex life for once. But it worked only because I treated men the same way they treated women. Meaning: - I am only here for sex. Don't tell me about anything personal. Don't even tell me your name, I don't care. I just came for my orgasm :…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 09:48 AM
2

That's because you have been leveling up a lot and you know you can be happy by yourself if your partner is disappointing. Congratulations :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 06:07 AM
23

I'm surprised it was not a trivial answer to you. I thought of not posting because it was obvious to me :) At some point they are the ones that become pickmeishas. Specially those that don't know how to live alone: they need someone to take care of them as they become older. They need a caretaker-wife. And even those who claim to be aging as good as wine, they know they can't "waste their last good years" without getting a wife to take care of them. Roles are reversed somehow. But we are so not …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 07:42 AM
35

One more question: Besides my cynical reasons, do you think there's other reasons for retired/older men that age to want to be exclusive asap? If you keep dating other men, they can be easily replaced and forgotten. And they know that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 07:20 AM
53

"If it has been sharpened too much, the pencil becomes useless. But the sharpener can still sharpen."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 01:46 PM
23

Coming from Spain, I have to tell that this is one of the most disturbing traditions from English speaking countries. I mean, if you choose a completely new family name for the family, that's still weird to me but fine. I don't see why anyone would have to share a surname to be a family. But having to accommodate to your husband's name? Nonsense. I am still me, married or not. No one can take that from me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 11:31 AM
46

Well, many LVM will have more than one of those traits, so the math is not just summing percentages... but yes. You are right. It is not easy. Just remember: better to be alone than to be in bad company.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 05:02 PM
47

It is fine to send nudes as long as you don't mind them being published and leaked and associated to your name publicly. Which is a possibility if you are confident enough. Not my case.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 10:09 AM
5

For a moment I was wondering why the cat was calling her and the other women "get" and what was the problem with that. And how could a cat talk at all. Completely lost in translation, English is not my native language. LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 08:58 AM
222

That's why I sometimes feel bad for not having denounced my ex... but at the same time, I needed to fly. And now I have no strong proof to take him to court.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 04:26 PM
19

Meeting in a pandemic is like having sex without a condom: you better be already on a relationship with that person. And not even then!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 03:56 PM
63

This is not help. This is attending your responsibilities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 11:59 AM
12

I usually respond with something like "Go hunt a mammoth" to place them on their right historical time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 06:34 AM
16

Even then, I would say not enough. A year is the minimum I would recommend living with someone before really knowing if they are real HV. So if you move in with a year before the wedding, you will have the stress of the wedding summing up the possible break up conclusions that comes after a year living together. Too many things together. Edit to add: faking HV for a few months is "easy". Faking HV for years if you don't share the house is also "easy". Faking it for a whole year while living toge…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 08:15 AM
104

Why not xbox?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 08:46 AM
6

Wow, that has nothing to do with the feminism I know!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 02:30 PM
3

Checking out someone is disrespectful even when you don't have a partner. It is objectifying the person you are looking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 06:46 AM
24

I think that's the key. My eyes also wander when I see someone attractive. But one thing is looking, acknowledging the attractiveness and moving on; and another thing is to intensely watch with lust. If my partner says that I'm the only attractive person in the world I know they would be lying. A nice pretty lie, but a lie nonetheless. There are many attractive people in the world. The difference is what you do when you cross your way with one of them. I'm no native English speaker but I underst…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 05:54 PM
13

Wait what? Is that a thing? Never heard it but now that you mention it, considering some of them can't think of women having an independent personality... It fits. So they think I carry a piece of the soul of all those stupid bastards? Even the ones I don't remember? They are living inside me somehow? Can I pick that piece of soul and make a voodoo doll? And on what stage of intercourse do we mix souls? Is a kiss enough? Do we have to get naked? Do they have to fully penetrate? One bump is enoug…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 08:28 AM
5

Besides blocking, you should really consider that "external signs" as /u/asoww says don't mean anything. Maybe he was pissed of that you forced him to leave because he was not committed enough so now he's forcing and faking the commitment. You will never know. And you don't care :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 02:49 PM
6

There are *some* ways that poly works. But I still have to find more than a few that do it right, on a clean, communicative and fair way. Most of the people that call themselves "poly" are just not committed to their partners and use the excuse to fuck around. That's not poly. That's, at best, swinging. And I have never seen it working on straight couples. Probably because patriarchy places us on such different power levels that you can't counteract it properly to balance it. For poly to work th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 08:21 AM
53

I have to say, I only had one experience of casual sex that was satisfactory. It was with a woman. But all the rest of casual sex (and it was more than I am willing to admit on a public forum like this), all with men, was really shitty. I was horny and hopeful but one disaster after the next. "Good" thing is, I have a lot of anecdotes to tell. ​ Edit: removing the "other" good experience because it was not really casual sex. Focusing on ONS only here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 09:00 AM
2

Got many friends volunteering to go to his house and hit him until I got my cat back. But I don't want anyone to have legal problems for fighting with him on my behalf. He's a dangerous person, violent and not very reasonable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 04:53 PM
61

Is this a recurring thing? My abusive ex also kidnapped my cat. Still waiting for trial four years later. Is it only four years? Feels like much more...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 02:00 PM
4

A good sex partner is like buying a new mobile phone: he asks before doing anything, specially if it is new and you didn't give your explicit permission before.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 10:38 AM
8

A grown man (not real, the OP is real too, I assume) would have told all that to the friend instead of waiting for her wife to say it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 03:20 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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