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delusional-gf Archive

View 4 posts and 254 comments by delusional-gf on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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What benefits does he get from helping a woman????? Dude helping someone isn’t supposed to come with perks or benefits. You help someone because it’s the right thing to do. “Why would I help that old lady cross the street? Doesn’t benefit me.” “Why would I give that man cpr? My life won’t improve.” “Why should I donate clothes? It won’t affect my life.” You should be a good person just to be a good person- not to get something out of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 05:08 PM
1

Lmao what?? What percentage of US presidents (aka the “leader”/face of the country) have been men?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 01:34 AM
–

If you saw some of my exes, you’d agree I favor personality over looks lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 07:54 PM
4

I like this a lot!!! The only tiny tiny tiny addition I would make is including personality/identity/personhood/character (that whole vibe) along with the vibe of money, looks, and status!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 04:07 AM
1

This is an interesting perspective because those comments are a reflection of him, not dumping on her. Those comments basically are saying “you deserve better”. When there’s a lot of “you” focused language, it can be harder to not take it personally. But you have to really factor in subtext and culture to really understand what comments like that are saying
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 09:19 AM
-1

Hard disagree- you’re looking at it as if getting a chick is the end goal. But when you ACTUALLY focus on self-improvement, your mindset changes so the end goal is to just be happy with yourself and the life you’ve created, whether or not that means ending up with someone. And no, getting rejected doesn’t hurt more. It hurts significantly less. A big part of self-improvement is confidence level and if you actually self-improve, your confidence will be at a healthy level and definitely won’t get …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 09:05 AM
-2

“The bar is in hell” is used when behaviors that feel so common sense, are lacking. “Oh my gosh he actually listened to me and took my concern seriously! I can’t believe it!!” “I came home from a work trip and the house didn’t fall into chaos AND he even did laundry!!” “And then he said my emotions were valid! Wow he is so so sweet” “He surprised me with dinner on our anniversary! I cried with happiness!” At the end of the day, everything comes down to one truth: men know how to be good partners…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 01:30 AM
1

Men will claim the loneliness is from a lack of romantic connection. But let’s be very specific here- what exactly is the different between platonic and romantic love? What can you get in a romantic relationship that you can’t in a platonic one? Physical touch. Any man who says this “epidemic” is about actually being lonely needs to bump up their own FMV (friend market value). Any man who says it’s not about platonic, but romantic, just wants to get his dick wet.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 08:34 PM
–

It doesn’t matter if they call you out or not. You’re trying to trick them and that’s manipulative behavior
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 08:22 PM
–

Yikes. Your massive red flags aren’t about your nerd hobbies or your voice. Your massive red flag is your manipulation.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 06:01 PM
–

LMAOOOO the solution isn’t to hide your true self until she’s emotionally attached and less likely to leave. You also don’t have to be “perfect”. Just become the best version of yourself and show that authentically and find someone who loves that. And no, the best version of yourself isn’t someone who is a slob, dresses poorly, lives in their parents basement, has no job, no ambitions, etc. Become a better person FOR YOU, not as a means to get chicks.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 05:56 PM
–

This is where it gets weird for me. Yes, women have high standards (as should anyone you’re planning on spending your whole life with). But it’s interesting that it’s framed as “men cannot succeed” rather than “we should all try to work out our flaws” I don’t ask for anymore than what I bring to the table. I didn’t get here by being passive and waiting for the world to happen to me. I actively sought out to change and remove the “red flags” Maybe the solution is to expect better of yourself and …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 05:46 PM
1

Millennial woman 🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️ Maybe that’s why it’s such a foreign concept to me
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 04:26 AM
2

I genuinely believe that no one in my circle would do this because: •They’re very good at sharing both sides of a situation and taking responsibility for what they did wrong •Whenever they are venting about their partners, they always stay on track and never throw in a comment connecting it to something else. “We were having this fight blah blah blah and like, no wonder he’s not doing well at work” •My social circle has men who are very emotional. Like cry over the smallest things. Everyone trea…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 04:25 AM
1

My ex called me useless too. It’s so devastating and cuts deep! I’m sorry you had to experience that. Would you ever try opening up to a friend? Or has that ship sailed forever?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 02:37 AM
3

I absolutely hate when people do this- like why are you acting like a high schooler?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 02:35 AM
0

HAHAHAHAHAHAH omg no my account name is that because my abusive ex said I wasn’t in touch with reality, so I made this alt to ask Reddit lmao But YES!!! Literally (besides said abusive ex), NONE of my “arguments” would last more than 30 minutes tops, with the vast vast majority being over in 1 “Hey my feelings were hurt when you called me X” “Omg I’m so sorry! I can completely see how that’s mean. I’ll never call you that again!” And then it’s over and never needs to be brought up again ✨healthy…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 02:27 AM
3

D’awwwww thank you!!! I’ve tried SO many personality tests, but they always come out… perfectly divided? Hahaha so like I did the love language test and I’m at 20% for each one. I tried which Hogwarts house I was, and it was nearly a perfect 25% split between each one. My Myers-Briggs test (that I’ve taken multiple times) is always E N T/F J/P (meaning I’m both of those lol) As far as finding people similar to me, look for people who were in marching band and took it very seriously, and people w…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 02:08 AM
1

No single person is perfect, everyone has some type of red flag. To be attracted to or drawn towards some one, you naturally will ignore some of those red flags
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 01:46 AM
19

Thank you for including those examples because I think it really helped connect some dots in my mind- like a man starting to have an anxiety attack, and then woman just looks and acts super annoyed instead of comforting. It’s easy to try to deny the extremes that happen, but when you pull it closer to home, you pull the mirror with you. Personally, any time you see a thread like this, or a woman denying it, I would strongly strongly recommend using the every day situations as an example, as I th…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 01:42 AM
3

Attraction doesn’t exist without rose-colored glasses
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 01:32 AM
0

I would absolutely love to have this test done on me to make sure I don’t do this!! Personally, if we’re in an argument, we’re ONLY talking about the topic at hand and literally nothing else. If any type of mean insult gets thrown in, nope, relationship over immediately.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 01:31 AM
2

It’s one of those things that feels unfathomable to me because no one I know would do something like that, so it’s hard to imagine lots of people doing that. So obviously I live in a little contained bubble, and I want to step outside of that to truly understand others’ experiences
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 01:26 AM
4

Wow wow wow one person’s struggles don’t negate another person’s what the heck. Literally giving “oh you had to put your pet down? Well I have cancer!” Like it’s not a competition??
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 01:24 AM
2

it takes courage and strength to be vulnerable, and both those traits are admirable
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 01:22 AM
3

We might not be able to force love, but we can choose it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 01:17 AM
0

But I’m not like that! Fr tho- I think it’s important to recognize people hate weak people. But the important factor is that everyone has a different definition of weak. For some, weak might look like not having their life together and always being a mess. For others, weak might look like emotional immaturity. And yeah absolutely, for some weak looks like any cracks in the stone statue. Me personally- I see weak as overly being a people pleaser at your own expense and never ever taking a stand o…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 01:16 AM
6

Idk, it seems pretty evil and malicious. We can talk all day about attraction, but love is different in the sense that it’s something you choose. Every day, you wake up choosing your partner, choosing to love and support them, choosing to love their flaws and faults even if they annoy you sometimes. We all have control over our actions, and if someone is outwardly showing their disgust from something you do, that seems pretty intentional to me. Eye rolls are intentional. Exasperated sighs are in…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 01:09 AM
1

Genuine question- because there’s the whole stigma about video games and whatnot, do you think your mom and sister’s reaction, or “ick” or whatever was about the subject itself? Or do you think it was about you as a person? And how do you know which one?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 01:01 AM
11

Thank you for commenting this!! I have heard this text before, but didn’t know where it was from! The first time I read it, I instantly thought “wow what a mean and heartless person. How can you be so unaware??” And I don’t think your questions come off as accusatory at all!! They’re VERY valid questions!! And it’s so interesting to hear about, because we’re both on the complete opposite sides of the spectrum going “how could ANYONE do this/not see this”, which I think is pretty fascinating. I’l…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 12:58 AM
9

Oooooh yes yes yes the “I’m not your therapist” dismissive type I personally LOVE helping people navigate tough times! I want the people in my life to be happy and succeed, and I want to do whatever I can to support that path
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 12:47 AM
4

Right!!! This is so shocking to me!!!! Any time any guy (partner or friend) has cried around me, I’m instantly there to support them, put my arm around them, and give them comfort. I’m also the kind of person who thinks hurling insults of any kind to any person you claim to love is wrong (like “friends” making fun of each other)
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 12:45 AM
5

Okay but there’s still emotional hurt
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 09:54 PM
9

It seems like you’re more upset at the fallout of the paternity test, rather than the ability or inability to have the rest done in the first place. But here’s the most important thing about the world- you do not get to choose what a consequence of your action should be. So yeah, get the test. But don’t cry at the consequences everyone sees from miles away.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 06:07 PM
6

Can you expand on the “no one’s hurt” part? This comes across as dismissive towards your partner’s feelings
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 06:01 PM
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That ISN’T normal.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 04:24 AM
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A man in his 30’s (or older) being sexually attracted to a TEENAGER is disgusting and vile. End of story.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 10:10 PM
2

Hi okay genuine question here!! First, yes completely agree that she got herself into a dangerous situation and should not expect her boyfriend to fight for her. If it were me, my personal frustration would come from the boyfriend not doing anything. Like not trying to get security, or telling the Uber driver to help, or even helping me calm down. With him just looking at his phone while all this goes down feels a little… unbothered and uncaring. My question is more of a moral duty to each other…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 05:06 AM
2

Having sex 4 times with the same man counts as having 200k miles?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 12:41 AM
2

It’s not even about men 💀💀 it’s about the criminal Justice system 💀💀💀
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 05:30 AM
0

The entire thing is about false accusations 💀💀 And oh don’t worry- I’m sure Brock Turner is already working on it
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 04:56 AM
2

If you actually watched it and came out of it with this viewpoint, you have absolutely no empathy. You literally see the entire process of what happens when a woman makes a report- continuously repeating the traumatic, getting a rape kit done, being pulled back to the station to repeat the story again, being poked and prodded. You know for a fact that there are women who do tell the truth. This is what the truthful women have to go through. They have to go through an intense interrogation proces…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 04:36 AM
1

I implore you to watch the documentary Victim/Suspect on Netflix. It’s a harrowingly accurate portrayal of what happens when women make these accusations and how many are concluded as a false report. It’s only an hour and a half and I cannot recommend it more.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 03:57 AM
1

My “standards” are just a threshold needed to pass to pursue a deeper connection and see if it leads anywhere. Some of these include: Have the same morals/ethics/values Enjoy having deep conversations and being vulnerable to emotional connection Mature and emotionally available Secure attachment style Uplifting and a great cheerleader Same type of humor Creative and intelligent I don’t think my standards are too high because these are all traits that I have myself, so it’s not unrealistic for th…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 08:48 PM
0

As long as you have healthy boundaries, the power balance won’t be uneven. I think you’re confusing “selfless” with “being walked all over”
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 02:14 AM
0

Did you not read the next sentence lol Love should be selfless. You should find someone who treats you how you want to be treated. How does that make you the loser? That seems pretty win-win to me
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 02:05 AM
-5

You shouldn’t be a good person to get a reward. You should be a good person because you want to be a good person. You shouldn’t love someone to be loved in return. You should love someone because you genuinely love them. SEPARATELY, you should assess whether or not the other person is treating you how you want to be treated. Love is not transactional.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 01:48 AM
0

Men haven’t changed Yes- that’s the problem. The past decade or two, women have been normalizing therapy, encouraging self-growth and independence, and connecting with one another to understand what is and isn’t acceptable. Women have been becoming more emotionally mature and available. Men, in comparison, haven’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 06:55 AM
4

Saying the bar is on the floor is usually said as a response to these types of situations: “Omg he was such a gentleman on our date! He held doors open for me and didn’t even try to pressure me to spend the night with him!” “I keep asking my boyfriend of 2 years to take me on a date. I’ve been planning all of them for the past few months but he says he’s too stressed” “I’m getting so tired of reminding my boyfriend to brush his teeth” “We were driving together and my boyfriend of 6 months reache…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 04:14 PM
1

Right- there’s always a hidden asterisk of when appropriate. In a gym setting? Inappropriate. At a bar? Appropriate! With headphones in? Inappropriate. At a grocery store while she’s making googly eyes at you? Appropriate!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 12:35 AM
1

Can I join your friend group omg
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 12:28 AM
2

Okay but also try doing a quick shopping search and try to find women’s clothes that ARENT like this. I get the frustration of men, but it’s not like we have a ton of different options
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 12:22 AM
0

Nah- every single one of those “good guys” is not actually a good guy. But with this black and white thinking of there are bad boys and good boys, women give the “good guy” soooooo many chances and opportunities. In the end, it’s always the “good guy” that ends up hurting us MORE than the bad boys. So why continue to date that type?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 12:04 AM
0

With the example you use about what kind of advice they give- as you say, women just sit back and men flock to them. They hit on women while working sweaty. They talk to women in XYZ place at XYZ time. And as a woman, lemme tell you- we hate the cold approach. So now we’re trying to tell me “hey stop doing these things”. Women would LOVE to sit back and not have men bothering them throughout their day. So that’s why we’re trying to get y’all to stop Also, I’m super good at giving date advice- as…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 12:00 AM
2

You should check out weaponized incompetence and the mental load
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 11:52 PM
1

That’s a really great question omg!!! Honestly, no, I wouldn’t have dated him if the situation was different:/
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 05:05 PM
17

Men crave respect above all else- including love. Couples in this situation stereotypically end up like this: Woman: Hey can you put your dishes in the dishwasher Woman: Hey can you not leave your clothes on the floor all over the house Woman: Hey can you clean the bathroom Men often see these kinds of asks (usually repeated asks) as nagging- like a mom getting on you about your chores. But for women, this is seen as communicating- trying to find a way to cohabitate long term. But over time of s…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 08:37 AM
0

Dude you’re literally answering your own post. “Men usually get what they qualify for. If they don’t like it, men can improve themselves to improve what they can attract.” Basically, if you don’t “qualify” for anyone now, improve and then you will
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 04:37 PM
-1

No dude- lemme put it like this Ultimatum: If you do XYZ, the relationship is over Boundary: I will not allow myself to be in a relationship with someone who does XYZ. The ultimatum puts pressure on the other person to act a certain way to save the relationship. The boundary let’s them act as who they are freely, and then determining if that’s a good fit for you
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 03:59 PM
0

I think what your focused on for men becoming better is misguided. When women ask men to “be better” they mean emotionally, maturely, socially, empathically, etc. It’s not about “be better and make an extra 20k this year!” Women desire connection in relationships- we don’t want to date men who are emotionally stunted. If women were able to emotionally and deeply connect with more men, then absolutely more men would get dates
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 03:56 PM
1

Yeah! So I don’t consider myself a demander- our convos would usually go like this: Him: Hey I just wanted to get on the same page- what are your expectations for Valentine’s Day? Me: Ooooh I would like some flowers and chocolates! Him: Okay obviously, but anything else? In this relationship, he did end up being a total asshole, but he wore a mask soooo well he never let it slip until we were actually in a relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 03:44 PM
1

10000% agree!!! I absolutely want their input and opinions and everything because I want to date THEM, not just someone who says yes to me
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 03:39 PM
2

Yeah so when he met me, I was in a relationship with someone else, and I’m super loyal so I didn’t even consider or think of him in that way at all! I knew he had a crush on me, but he was always respectful with my boundaries. My then-relationship became super dead and the love was gone for months leading up to the breakup. After the breakup, this guy was there for me constantly. I kept seeing things on social media like “date a guy who is 100% sure about you!” and “date a guy who is so in love …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 03:36 PM
2

🥺🎯🎯 Wow. This made me tear up because WOW. To read something that was SO exact to my situation- I feel so seen and understood right now, thank you. I’m so so convinced he had BPD, but he has no interest in therapy and is only surrounded by people who enable him. I actually wrote about it in depth on my profile as one of my first posts if you scroll down a bit. But it was EXACTLY like how you described here:/
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 03:30 PM
2

Okay legit thank you SO much for responding with this!! This is actually EXACTLY the type of feedback I’m looking for and you’ve mentioned things I haven’t seen others point out before, so truly truly thank you!! Gives me a lot to reflect on and grow from
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 03:21 PM
0

It’s not so much about materialism for me like flowers and gifts, but more so about acts of consideration like “oh I saw your water was empty and I was already heading to the kitchen, so I just decided to refill it” And you bring up a good point about how these are things I value, but maybe he doesn’t! In my last relationship, we actually had a really great conversation about expectations, what he’s looking for, and ways he feels loved!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 03:13 PM
0

They all start off as the nicest and kindest guys ever tho! Super compassionate and understanding and thoughtful!! They aren’t chads by ANY means and if you met them you’d go “yeah these are good guys!”
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 03:09 PM
0

“If you do A, B, C, D, the relationship is over” is NOT a boundary- it’s an ultimatum. Boundaries have absolutely nothing to do with forcing people to act a certain way.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 03:01 PM
7

I don’t think you should lower your standards to have a larger dating pool. I think you should keep your standards high and only let someone into your life if they truly truly fit- don’t just “settle”. Yes, there’s a risk you might not find that perfect person, but being single will ALWAYS be better than being with someone you settled for
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 05:48 PM
3

Hit the nail right on the head:/ especially the part about the more human I became to him, the less he liked me because I was no longer living up to this perfect idealized image:// Just like how I fell in love with a version of him that doesn’t actually exist (during the love bombing phase), he also fell in love with a version of me that doesn’t actually exist. Damn.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 07:22 AM
1

I don’t love to be loved. I don’t put in effort to get effort back. And I’m looking for someone who does the same- love because they love the person genuinely, not based on whether or not it’ll be reciprocated
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 05:50 AM
4

Okay so guys who don’t put in effort are just hella insecure? That actually tracks very well
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 04:32 AM
3

I would normally totally agree! Just a “he’s just not that into you” kind of vibe. But these are all guys who hard core chased their woman. Like in my case, my most recent ex was head over heels in love with me and chased me for 3 years before we got together. Then it pretty quickly devolved to this. Same with my relationship before that- he would tell me how he instantly knew I was “the one” since day one of knowing me. But then same pattern How can someone go from being head over heels in love…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 04:27 AM
2

Lmao nah- I know I’m worthy of efforts and love Nice try tho!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 04:23 AM
5

I think you’re just trolling? But just in case you aren’t- “needs” in this context refers to “relationship needs”. So going on dates, holding hands, talking, acts of consideration, etc. If you’re not doing this with your girl, you’re just not in a relationship at all lol
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 04:22 AM
2

I’ve never cheated in my life. I once had a friend who cheated on her boyfriend and I cut her out of my life so fast- no space for people like that in my life
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 04:12 AM
2

Yeah I guess it’s weird for me because every guy this applies to, was the one to hard core pursue the woman. Like my most recent ex was head over heels in love with me and chased me for 3 years before we started dating. When we got into a relationship, this started happening. I guess it’s weird/hard for me to conceptualize going from being sooooo in love to not wanting to put in any effort://
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 04:10 AM
4

No fr it’s so stressful!!!! That’s why I would never want to do it!!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 04:02 AM
2

Okay I understand now!! Obvi you should never accept less than you deserve, but it’s also a hard-to-find line between that and leaving, vs staying and waiting for them to wake up So say you’re doing this self improvement journey. But say this valentines situation happens like month 3 or whenever before he “wakes up”. How would you react to this situation specifically? Obvi still work on yourself and put energy towards yourself- but how do you handle this situation and your disappointment?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 03:58 AM
1

You bring up a good point!! I’m not the kind of person who holds on to grudges. Like if we talk about something, come to a resolution, and move on, then I’m good to go!! I won’t stay upset or hold it against them. Example: Me: Hey I’m really sad you didn’t get me any flowers for Valentine’s Day. I tried to be as communicative as I could be about my expectations, and so not receiving them made me feel a bit unacknowledged): Him: Omg you’re so right. I really dropped the ball there and I’m sorry. …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 03:54 AM
2

This is actually what I learned in my last relationship- I thought the source of our arguments was because I wasn’t communicating effectively enough. So I looked up videos, read articles, literally everything I could do to learn different ways to communicate that would help him understand my hurt. But in the end, it didn’t matter how I said anything- he wasn’t willing to understand
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 03:42 AM
0

🥴🥴 I’m specifically talking about already being in relationships… committed relationships lol As a content creator, I get tons of DMs but I would never even entertain the thought of someone else or even check out someone else other than my partner
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 03:38 AM
2

10000% agree with this!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 03:34 AM
1

Okay! So like with choosing where to eat, I’ll respond with something like “Oooh I think I’m feeling burgers? What about you? Any preferences?” And then go from there. But then I’m told I’m always the one to make the calls and they never get to and they bring up this example specifically. Is this a poor way for me to respond to the question? Is there something better you would recommend?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 03:32 AM
7

I think I’m having a hard time seeing the connection between the dread game and just living your life? So like in the Valentine’s Day example, I set expectations, he doesn’t deliver. How would the “passive” dread game play out with this? Would I talk to him about being disappointed? Or no? Do I not convey any expectations and just kind of see what he comes up with?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 03:26 AM
2

I think out of what you listed, the most likely is that they don’t think there will be no consequences. It’s a tough situation to be in where I want to be with them, but I also want them to treat me better. All of the men I mention in this post are men who chased me for sometimes YEARS. So I feel like they like me quite a bit hahaha. But also they do tell me they feel super valued, and often in relationships I do more for them than they do for me (taking them on dates, surprises, gifts, cutesy r…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 03:21 AM
1

Could you give an example of the mind games that don’t really affect anything??
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 03:15 AM
3

Totally agree with knowing what is and isn’t worth bringing up!! I personally feel like I have a solid perception of where that line is! Same with the appropriate response to any gesture, whether positive or negative! For the Valentine’s Day example, I don’t react negatively by screaming or yelling or telling him off or giving the silent treatment, etc. I instead act negatively by sitting down with him and explaining how I was disappointed and didn’t feel considered. I don’t do fights- I do disc…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 03:14 AM
1

Does the red pill community promote using the “dread” game? Or does it more so promote dumping people who use this/testing the waters to see what they can get away with?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 03:06 AM
2

Well that’s depressing): would your advice for me be to start playing mind games to make sure I’m the one that “has all the power” so they stay interested?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 02:43 AM
2

That’s why all my relationships end- my needs stop being met):
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 02:22 AM
2

But then I get told I have too high expectations):
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 02:16 AM
2

This was my first initial thought!! But when it becomes a recurring theme, I gotta look at common denominators ya know?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 02:15 AM
–

Over the past several decades, women have been working and growing to become more independent. Relationships now are no longer out of necessity, but companionship. Now, women seek someone who adds to their life, and makes their life better. We seek deep emotional connection, fun, consideration, and truly, a best friend. Unfortunately, the vast majority of men are emotionally not at the same level the majority of women are. Men (nOt aLl mEn) don’t usually seek self-improvement from within, reflec…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 12:35 AM
2

THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 12:20 AM
-1

They aren’t the same, but being a better human absolutely leads to more success in all aspects of life
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 08:11 AM
-2

How about no facade at all and only date people who like the authentic you??? bUt nO oNE wiLl dAtE mE tHeN Then become a better person??
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 06:15 AM
1

I think a huge part of it is the mental load. During the marriage, women typically carry the mental load. But once divorced, her cut goes down to 50% and his cut goes up to 50%. So her mind gets a vacation and his gets hit with reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 09:53 PM
1

Love is about appreciation, not possession.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 01:44 PM
7

Okay so then can you explain why Mormonism isn’t the most prominent religion in the US? They are known for having many many children, which outnumbers the vast majority of how many kids non-Mormon couples have
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 04:40 AM
8

Your reasoning has tons of flaws. How people act in society (being submissive/dominant/whatever) is a taught concept. And societal concepts are different depending on different societies. This is why there are so many different views throughout all the cultures in the world. This isn’t the first wave of feminism, nor will it be the last. There has been a massive boom in women identifying as feminists because of many different reasons, but the one I want to highlight is the ability to share infor…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 03:34 AM
4

Can you share some examples of these standards you think are too high?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 04:33 AM
2

It’s considered cheating to some because 1.) you are going out of your way to look up women you’re attracted to. This is different than passing by an attractive woman while out and about. And 2.) if we’re in a monogamous relationship, then it’s not too far of a stretch to understand that that also mean monogamy in sexual activities. So to them it would be considered cheating if you were involved in sexual activities involving other women.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 10:20 AM
1

If you adopt, you wouldn’t be raising someone else’s kids
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 10:22 PM
5

Lmao this line is literally just “you should pick me because there’s not really anyone else”
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 08:43 PM
2

Myself and MANY of my friends have gone from not thinking a guy was attractive, to being madly in love with him and thinking he’s super hot because of his personality and getting to know him. There’s literally so many jokes referencing it too, like a girl’s friend asking to see pictures and then saying “uhhhhh he’s way better looking in person!!” Because she knows he wouldn’t be considered attractive just at first glance, but she likes him and has on these love goggles. There’s an entire genre o…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 09:23 PM
1

I wouldn’t say that personality trumps looks to the point where looks don’t matter at all. If a 5 asks out a girl and she doesn’t know him at all, yeah she’s gonna base it on looks (because she literally doesn’t know his personality) But if a 5 asks a girl out and she does know him and loves his personality, he’s gonna look like an 8 to her, and way more likely to say yes However, if the 5 asks her out but is a not so good person, he’s gonna look like a 4 to her. Now if we apply this to a group:…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 09:07 PM
2

Okay I see what you’re getting at but it’s very flawed when you try to apply it to the real world. If I gather 50 of my closest girl friends and 50 of my closest guy friends, they are all going to be vastly different degrees of attractiveness. But if I think one of my guy friends is a 5, doesn’t mean everyone thinks he’s a 5. I could have a girlfriend come up to me and say he asked her out and to her, he’s a 7 or 8! And I would be fully supportive because I know he’s a good person (hence why he …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 08:52 PM
0

wheresthelietho.png
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 07:35 PM
1

This is actually a perfect example of why it’s important to first and foremost BE A GOOD HUMAN BEING. If you’re a good person with a beautiful soul, and are rejected, you’re chances with their friends will not be harmed!! Are you going to be a match for everyone? No!! But if you’re a good person and ask girl #2 out, girl #1 will say “omg he’s such a kind person and super super sweet!” Creep are not good people. Not all ugly people are creeps. I know TONS of guys who are not considered attractive…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 05:58 PM
0

My ex told me I was communicating too much 💀💀💀
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 06:00 AM
1

Okay in the most humble non-egotistical way: • I’d consider myself pretty attractive- 5’4”, 120lbs, bright blue eyes, good smile, incredibly talented with makeup but don’t need it, no filler/botox/artificial enhancements, never need to use filters on any photos • I’m often considered the life of the party (not in the center of attention way, but in the bubbly spirit way). I know how to hype people up, be their cheerleader, comfort them when they’re down, help them feel empowered and motivated • …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 07:26 PM
5

Hey mods can we have a “cat lady busily typing on Reddit” user flair pretty please
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 12:26 PM
-1

“The smarter the woman is, the less likely we’ll be compatible” HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 12:23 PM
4

Nah dude This is literally peak objectification of women No where in this do you talk about Connection Or Love It’s all centered around weird probability stats That aren’t even necessarily true You say using these “formulas” Are the way to achieve “success” That’s the objectification part You’re viewing women as an incubator As a way to “succeed” Instead of finding a woman with the highest statistical probability Maybe try finding a woman with the highest And strongest Connection
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 12:00 PM
2

The times I’ve been in uncomfortable or dangerous situations, women are the ONLY ones to come to my aid. Women have all experienced the exact same situation on so many occasions. They are able to read these situations and step in to help so fast. If I were to get in a bar fight or street brawl, women would literally use their bodies as a shield to protect me. Men normally stay on the side line in my experience. But also if a man gets into a bar fight or street brawl, the bros are almost cheering…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 11:50 AM
2

It’s all in the language. Both of the options start off with how many likes you get. Neither say anything about personality or connection. Even the line “Getting their attention feels competitive, and receiving a reply can feel like an achievement.” It’s all focused on garnering attention, not forming a true connection or love.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 11:34 AM
8

Someone with this mindset isn’t looking for a partner or love- they’re looking for validation. It’s the same reason why so many men make fun of women posting pictures and calling them attention seekers.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/24 12:43 PM
–

It’s all about intent! If your intention of taking salsa classes is to pick up women…. ew. But if your intention of taking salsa classes is to learn about salsa because it’s interesting to you, then yay green flag!! Basically, pick up those hobbies and interests for YOU, not for anyone else
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/24 12:38 PM
1

I never played video games and never understood the appeal until recently, so I know where you’re coming from! When people who don’t game hear “video games” usually our minds jump to shooting, war-like, violent and gorey, etc. But what’s helped me tremendously is learning about all the other types of videos games like cute cozy where you build a farm and take care of your crops or chickens, or games that focus on problem solving and figuring out puzzles! And someone’s hobbies are often a reflect…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/24 12:31 PM
1

If ANYONE is in a relationship like the ones shown in the link please LEAVE!!! Not only is this toxic, but majorly abusive. Breaking your partners important things is an intimidation tactic and controlling af. Get out before it gets worse!!!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/24 12:16 PM
1

1000% hold each other accountable! We go to each other for advice and a genuine seeking of understanding of the situation and how to be better. “Completely valid that you’re feeling sad your boyfriend of 2 months cancelled your birthday plans last minute! Did you end up telling him that it was your birthday or does he think it’s just a regular day?” Cheaters are not allowed in my life and if my “friend” cheats on the person they’re supposed to love most, they aren’t my friend. It’s more of a “tr…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/24 12:10 PM
–

Personally, if there were signs or hints of cheating leading up to or around this time, totally totally makes sense! But I think a big part of it is when it comes out of left field. Like whoa have I given the impression I’m not a faithful person? To swap it around it’s like a couple has been married a couple years and everything has been great in the marriage! A dream come true! And then one day the wife says she has opened her own private bank account as an escape plan because she doesn’t know …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/24 11:56 AM
1

Are these men whom women actually pursue? Or is this just the majority of men? While I understand the number is changing, it’s still currently true that most men end up in a relationship. If women are just going for the jerks, wouldn’t the stat be lower and more specified? If you have a bag of marbles and 80% of them were red. If you blindly pick one, it would be misleading to say “I am really good at picking red marbles”
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 11:19 AM
-1

I’d feel super uncomfortable and leave asap. While yes false accusations happen, it’s far more likely for men to be raped themselves than falsely accused. And if a woman ever said she was falsely accused, nah I’d dip too It’s never worth the risk and rarely rarely ever happens
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 10:01 AM
3

🤓 Actually As others have pointed out, under 70% of women file. And the vast majority of the time, the person who doesn’t file is usually at fault. Example: how many relationships end because the cheater was the one to break things off? Men generally earn more, but that is changing. In families with children under 18, 40% of women are the breadwinners. So women are making more money, and requesting to even out the responsibilities. Sounds like they want an equal partner? Also, women are seeking …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 11:44 AM
2

Telling women they should have picked better implies that the woman should have known he was going to turn out to be a terrible guy. Instead, and alternative would be to say “wow he was really manipulative and fooled so many. I’m glad you at least know the warning signs to look out for now”
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 02:34 AM
3

I’ve only played 7, but I love them so much!!!! When I see chickens in any other game, they are automatically cocobos(:
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 10:19 PM
3

omg is your username from final fantasy 🐥
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 10:13 PM
2

Wait- what key pieces of information am I omitting?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 10:01 PM
2

I actually used a tv show so anyone could go back and watch for themselves to see if she was to blame. He fooled everyone. His personality was so charming and gentle and funny and kind.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 09:59 PM
3

Okay I dated an average guy who everyone loved and said was a great dude, only for him to become abusive. And then once I got out, I was told I should have just picked better?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 09:58 PM
6

I’ve been told it personally. I just got out of an abusive relationship where the guy put on this incredible front, only to learn how he really was later on. This was a guy that everyone loved and respected. And I still got told so many times that I should have just picked someone better if I didn’t want to be abused.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 09:56 PM
2

My best friend actually JUST moved out of the city, so I don’t have anyone IRL, BUT I have a lot of neighbors that hang out outside and know my situation!!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 09:53 PM
2

I legit view them all as perfect. They are all so kind and caring. They’re there for me at the drop of a hat. They treat everyone in their lives with kindness and respect. They’ve never done mean things like cuss someone out, be passive aggressive, ghost someone, not show up to a bday party, cheat, etc. They’re all very level headed and rational and aren’t just enablers, but also hold me accountable when I mess up. They never say socially weird things or make other feels uncomfortable. They’ve n…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 09:51 PM
5

Yeah here I’m not really focused on the obvious cases of “if you don’t want to be murdered, don’t date that guy with the obsessive knife collection and floating brain in his fridge”. I’m talking more about the guys who people say “oh yeah! This guy is great!” And then he ends up being horrible, and then women are told they should have just picked better
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 09:45 PM
3

But it’s not just my experience tho? This exact situation has happened to sooooooo many women, women that I know personally and have met their significant others. Yes, of course there are women who have the blinders on, but I think you are vastly vastly underestimating the number of men who don’t show these obvious signs
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 09:38 PM
2

Kinda sad that your initial reaction is that Jenn must not be who she says she is, rather than oh maybe Devin is just a jerk. Because he full admits it’s nothing to do with Jenn. Right after the engagement, he stopped texted and pulled away. He led her on and convinced her everything was real, just to say he didn’t actually love her later on And the advice is still terrible because how are women supposed to already know that a guy is just faking it and just a jerk?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 09:35 PM
4

That’s so scary)))): I left my abusive relationship this summer and I thought everything was over, but now he’s been contacting my family and sends his family to contact me and now I’m worried he’ll show up at my door or something crazy
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 09:28 PM
3

My solution to the problem would be: stop telling women to “just pick better men” Everyone thinks they would never be the one to get in an abusive relationship until it happens to them. I dated someone who wore the mask and fooled everyone for YEARS and it wasn’t until we started dating that the mask started to slip. The first couple times, you write it off as a weird one-off. But once it becomes a pattern and you leave, that’s when you get to comments of “you should have seen the signs” In my c…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 09:25 PM
2

Yeah so I think we’re on the same page! I would only add/clarify that when men tell women to “just pick better”, they mean it (and emphasize) as the negative way. The way that isn’t helpful. But instead, if men meant and said it in the positive way “I’m glad you now know the signs to watch out for”, would be taken wayyyy better and actually viewed as helpful and supportive! Just as your worldview frames your reality, what you put out into the world can influences others’!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 09:09 PM
3

Yes she is perfect! I see all of my close friends as perfect. If you asked me to find a single red flag about any of my friends, I would have an impossible time doing that
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 09:02 PM
3

My best friend treats me so well and she’s such a great and genuine person. If I find a man who treats me just as well as my bestie does, am I supposed to assume he’s faking?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 08:59 PM
6

Absolutely relationships bring risks! But it’s incredibly naive to say that you should already know which ones the risk will be good for and which ones it’s bad for
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 08:57 PM
5

Ok but I’m not choosing felons or bullies or obvious liars? I’m choosing the men that everyone says “oh yeah! He’s a really great guy!!” And yes, while there were several massive blowout fights (disasters), until it becomes a pattern, you just write it off as a weird outlier moment. But then when it does become a pattern and you leave, you absolutely are a victim. If I had left after the first blowup fight, then men would just be continuing on with the whole “women leave after a single ick” rhet…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 08:54 PM
3

I referenced the show because so many women are told “oh there must have been signs”, so having the show as a reference, anyone can go back and look for these “signs” This has also happened in my personal life as well. This guy was sooooo certain about me and that I was his soulmate and everything, only for him to become abusive later on
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 08:47 PM
3

Okay I totally hear what you’re saying! I’d like to share my own personal experience with you- there was this guys who I’ve known since the beginning of 2021. He’s always had a huge crush on me and has always been so kind and sweet and uplifting to me. After 2 1/2 years of being friends and feeling like we knew each other pretty well, we started dating. But this guy actually ended up becoming abusive and it was a total shock and so different than the guy I had known all those years. Now I’m out …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 08:41 PM
3

For PR purposes and leaks and spoils and everything, they’re supposed to keep their relationship on the DL- so not holding hands in public or publicly making out, etc. It’s still fully expected that they continue their relationship, similar to a long distance relationship until the finale airs
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 08:36 PM
6

So how is she supposed to know what his actions will be? Like he did his actions, she chose based on those actions, but then a total 180 actions came after that. She wouldn’t have chose him if she knew that the 180 would take place- so how would she have known?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 08:34 PM
7

Yeah so my beef with the whole “pick better men” is all said to women who are consistently choosing these safer options
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 08:32 PM
3

Ah I understand what you’re saying now and I do agree! I just left an abusive relationship, and now I understand the signs of love bombing more What I’m referencing for the “women just need to pick better men” is when women speak about their experiences, and the first immediate response is “just pick better”. That’s not helpful at all and has such a different implication from what you’re saying of “now you know the signs to look out for” The “just pick better” is saying, you made a bad choice an…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 08:29 PM
3

No, he’s manipulative because after weeks and months of getting to know her and telling her I love you and telling her she’s “the one” and then literally proposing to her and getting engaged. only for a few weeks later to say he didn’t actually love her
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 08:22 PM
3

Blinders to what tho? There were no signs of him being a bad guy. This is actually why I used a tv show- so that people can go back and watch and see that there aren’t any signs
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 08:16 PM
2

Okay so then let me share my personal experience. There was this guy who had the biggest crush on me for years. He was also so kind and so sweet and would always lift me up. About a year ago, I developed feelings for him and we started dating. But he slowly became abusive and cruel. It was a complete 180 from the guy I knew before and it got really scary. These men are REALLY good at putting on a mask to get women, only for it to slowly disappear to reveal the monster below
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 08:15 PM
4

But that man lied about who he was. She picked the mask, not the guy underneath
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 08:11 PM
4

Jenn did. She chose the version of Devin who was kind and sweet and secure and 100% on board. If she had known that wasn’t the real him, she wouldn’t have chose him
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 08:10 PM
1

Lmao what? Where am I saying this doesnt happen? I just said I didn’t know about this
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 08:08 PM
-1

That’s also not helpful- it’s not like we have a time machine to actually leave earlier. Especially when it comes to abusive relationships- leaving is often the most dangerous part. Or in my situation, I didn’t know it was abusive until after I left
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 08:07 PM
1

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 08:02 PM
1

I’m not writing it off? You’re assuming my intention and tone- I was just saying that I didn’t know that was a thing because I had never heard of it before?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 08:02 PM
2

So women are accountable for men’s actions? Make that make sense
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 07:59 PM
-2

I’ve never heard that be a thing said to men before
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 07:58 PM
4

Yes!!!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 07:57 PM
3

I used it as an example because everyone can watch the exact same situation without it being written off as “he said she said” kind of thing. When I try to bring up real life experiences, men always seem to write it off that “there were probably still signs that you didn’t see”. So I used this show as a way where people can go back and look and see, nope, no signs.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 07:56 PM
-5

I’ve also just experienced it first hand myself. Dated this guy who was just so sure of me and so sweet and kind and everything- only for him to end up being abusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 07:54 PM
-3

Lmao what? The 19 year old is the one going after the other (besides the fact that it’s a crime). The situation I’m talking about is where the older person goes after the younger. Notice any similarities? The person going after this victim is the one to blame.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 06:17 PM
1

I’m sorry no one was there for you when you were attacked. That’s horrible and no one should go through that. I don’t think that stepping in during emergencies is white knighting by any means- instead has to do about your integrity and morals as a person. If I see a person (regardless of gender) in an emergency situation, I’m absolutely going to do what I can to help, not because there’s an entitlement, but because that’s a literal human being who needs help
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 03:28 PM
8

Women are very well aware that men don’t like them. Your entire lives you’re taught to not be like a woman, that being like a woman is bad, weak. Logically, you can’t like women if it’s embedded in your head that women=bad Surprise pikachu face comes from the different ways women learn the depth at which men don’t like women- like seeing a Reddit post being like “hey guys if you see a woman being beaten up, just let it happen”
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 03:23 PM
6

Okay wait wait lemme help clear up the confusion guy: why do girls only go after hot jocks? Girls just wanna have fun 🎶 they pick someone hot. It’s not that deep woman: why do guys only go after hot chicks? Boys just wanna have fun 🎶 they pick someone hot. It’s not that deep The difference? Is when you add in “young”. And THATS where women start to get uncomfortable. It’s not a double standard, but instead it’s just women being concerned that full grown men find a teenager hot and sexy
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 03:06 PM
–

Oh yeah sorry I was just adding on!! Didn’t mean to imply it was you
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 02:59 PM
–

It’s not about some chick’s feelings. It’s about the integrity and morals of people that you let close. If I had a friend cheat on their partner, I would be rethinking the friendship- not because of their ex partners feelings, but because cheating isn’t a quality I want in a friend
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 02:59 PM
–

Bleh I hate it when people overlook their friends cheating. Like you really want that kind of person in your life?? You’re a mixture of your 5 closest friends and that’s who you want in your mix?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 09:51 AM
3

Right but I just want to point out the word “ideal”. To me, that means absolutely perfect as if I could special order them. If I have a list of “must haves” and someone checks off 29/30 of them, they’re pretty close!! But not ideal In the same way, if I “special ordered custom made” was with someone, only to realize they’re missing some things on my list, they instantly get a title demotion because they are no longer ideal lol
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 11:38 PM
0

But there’s such a huge difference between these scenarios If someone (29 years old) is FWB with another 29 (ish) y/o, and then decides to go monogamous and commit to someone who is also 29(ish) y/o is wayyyyyy different than: If someone (we’ll keep 29) is FWB with an 18 y/o, and then decides to go monogamous and commit to someone who is 29(ish) This guy just sees this literal teenager as a sex object. Nothing serious. Ew ew ew ew ew.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 11:34 PM
1

Sleeping around and dating someone who was a minor a couple months ago are wayyyyy different comparisons. If you asked a bunch of different people if sleeping around was okay or not, you’d get a bunch of different answers. If you asked a bunch of different people if dating someone who literally had “recess” written on their schedule just a few months ago was okay or not, there would be a pretttyyyy strong majority vote. Would you consider not dating someone who used to be super strong pro vegan …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 11:26 PM
0

Except my ideal partner would never date an 18 year old as a 30 year old. So this guy obvi isn’t my ideal partner anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 11:19 PM
2

NOOOOOOOPE nope nope nope nope 🚩🚩🚩🚩 He’s 30!!!!! and she followed a bell schedule less than what, 4 or 5 months?? He’s what, on his 4th big boy job with an executive or manager title?? Any type of guy who has that much in common with an 18 year old, to the point where they had a fling, is NOT hitting my emotional and mental intelligence standards and I would absolutely not date him. We also don’t know long it’s been since she “just” graduated high school, but I’d also want to know how long they …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 11:14 PM
–

OH MY GOD 🤖
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 10:41 PM
1

YES!!!! You are!!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 02:00 AM
1

It’s meaningful to the people you talk to!! You move mountains rock by rock. Imagine if every single guy overnight became the guy to check in with his friends and see how they’re truly doing. Do you think this mental health crisis would be as drastic as it is? No, definitely not
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 01:58 AM
1

I think it’s completely possible to acknowledge the “reality” without adopting the mentality. I think the real sink or swim question is are you willing to change?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 01:54 AM
1

):
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 01:51 AM
1

I just googled mine
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 01:51 AM
-1

The competition thing is always confusing to me- like a woman will either like you or not like you. Say a woman has all these options and creates a Top 10 list of the guys she likes. If you’re #11 and just get #10 out of the way, she no longer has 10 guys she likes. She has 9. We don’t analyze potential partners as like a point system. It’s not like “okay they need a score of 60 for me to date them. ohp he has a six pack, that’s +14 points!” No no no it’s not like that at all hahaha
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 01:50 AM
1

I totally support mental health treatment, even if it looks different from yours! BUT I don’t think it should come at a cost of putting down other groups of people and making them feel small or insignificant. TRP is infested with men just women blaming and hating and does very little to actually address men’s issues
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 01:44 AM
1

I must be the ultimate masculine person!! 💪 rips shirt sleeve first and then flexes
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 01:41 AM
1

Why is the competition important if this “mate” might not even like you back? So if you have a girl and she’s got allllll these men as options, she’s not going to like every one of them. Why compete when there’s a very real chance both of you are in the “don’t like” column? It’s not like a Top-10 thing where if you’re #11 and knock #10 out of the way, now you’re #10!!!! No. That just changes the list to be a Top-9. I also really don’t like this mentality because it suggests that it’s more import…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 01:30 AM
0

So I think the big reason why men have to walk on eggshells and come with a disclaimer is because of past history. Yes, this might include history from before you were born, but I think that’s why it’s so extreme today. If we think of actions like a number line, person X does something, ohp that’s +2! Person X does something else, oof now it’s -5. Person X is having a rough streak but that’s another -5! So now, in order for Person X to be seen completely neutrally, they need a +8 action, which g…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 01:14 AM
2

Oof sorry I just cut Red40 out of my diet so I can’t take that pill but ty tho In regard to the whole “our lives don’t matter nothing matters” totally agree with you!!! The universe literally doesn’t care if we’re alive or dead. But life isn’t about our connection or impact on the universe. Life is about connection and impact with friends and family and people around you. You give your own life meaning and purpose. If you don’t, then yeah, there’s never going to be a purpose or thing to look for…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 01:10 AM
2

Yeah just Google “high yield savings accounts” and you’ll see a bunch of bank names you don’t recognize. Find the one with the highest percentage (usually 4%-5%) and open an account with that bank and throw as much of the $5k in as you can afford If you wanna deep dive and learn more, check out compound interest
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 01:00 AM
0

I’m really really really curious as to why men don’t see therapy as very valuable? If men don’t want to “burden others” or interested in focusing on emotions, but instead “shoot da poo” and crack jokes, I’m curious to what your opinion on the whole “male loneliness epidemic”. Is it real? How much of it is valid? What might cause it? And do you have any suggestions for solutions to it?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 12:57 AM
1

It’s not about anyone’s sensibilities. The “woe is me” rhetoric is used to gain selfish attention and pity points. It’s not helpful to any type of conversation “Hey mom, it really hurt my feelings when you…” “Wow I can’t do anything right! I’m just a horrible mother!” in this example, the “woe is me” rhetoric derails the conversation and shifts it from being about the child’s feelings, to now having to comfort and build up the mom
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 12:48 AM
5

“which is why so many discussions about men’s mental health never progress” ok but the point of my post is to quite literally, progress those conversations. it seems a bit early to just write the whole thing off, no? Why does divorce or joint custody have a strong correlation to suicide among men? Like what is it specifically that creates that pipeline? Also if there’s a meeting that’s made in good faith, having disrupters is super annoying and not helpful at all
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 12:42 AM
2

If those who strive for change go against people that don’t care, wouldn’t that make it easier to enact change?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 12:36 AM
3

No that’s not what I’m saying at all The reason why women can’t start the movement on behalf of men, is because (most) women have no experience being a man and wouldn’t be able to speak on so many issues. BUT, they can support and offer sympathy. It would be like a bunch of rich, white men started a movement for d/Deaf people to get more disability benefits. Like who are these rich white guys to speak on behalf of a community? The d/Deaf community doesn’t view being deaf as a disability, but ins…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 12:32 AM
0

This feels so upside down to me- no one should have to suffer in silence or not be allowed to ask for help:/ Why do more men just accept this and live like this instead of going against it and tearing down those gender roles?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 12:24 AM
2

Okay I have so many questions Why is therapy feminine? How is it a grift? How do men currently solve their problems? Do you think that model is healthy or conducive?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 12:17 AM
0

In college one of my friends was a volunteer for a crisis hotline!! You should check that out! As a volunteer, you have significantly more flexibility over your hours so you could just do a couple hours here, a couple hours there! Thank you for continually improving yourself and extending that outwards to others!!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 12:05 AM
2

It’s definitely one of the closer orgs!!!! There is still leakage of misogyny unfortunately, but I could def see menslib getting lots of positive momentum in the coming years
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 12:02 AM
2

“I have problem” “Oh here’s solution!” “Nah I’m good” 🥴🥴
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 11:59 PM
2

No no no!! Don’t apologize for “ranting”!! ESPECIALLY on a post aimed towards exactly this!! Super super super off topic but if you’re 18, open a high-yield savings account and throw as much money as you can in there and then DONT look at it again until later in life when things like “stocks” or “bonds” aren’t as scary
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 11:56 PM
2

🥹🥹 do you wanna be friends :3 👉🏻👈🏻
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 11:52 PM
1

pove it ten
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 11:52 PM
0

THIS THIS THIS
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 11:51 PM
1

Totally understand that you were just stating things and there was no intention of pity!! I just wanted to let you know, that because of the verbiage you use, your statement can easily be interpreted as a “woe is me, life of a man is just sooooo hard” kind of comment. Just wanted to let you know how it could be misinterpreted so in the future, you could word it differently so it’s not as easily misinterpreted (because then the back and forth argues about what you meant to say, instead of the act…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 11:50 PM
0

“Women don’t care about rape” The difference is if the issue has a movement behind it, or are actively trying to end the issue. There was the whole MeToo Movement, so when someone says they care about rape, it’s not far-fetched to assume they’re truthful because there’s been a massive movement. Or if someone cares about racism, it would make sense because of BLM and StopAsianHate. But if someone said they cared about elephants not getting enough peanut butter, at first you’d believe them because…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 11:45 PM
3

Um okay? And? This post is about men’s mental health.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 11:26 PM
4

I love this!! Thank you for doing what you do!!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 11:17 PM
3

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH I WISH I COULD PIN IT TO THE TOP
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 11:15 PM
1

I appreciate this break down! Thank you!!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 11:13 PM
1

Yes completely agree with you!! Wouldn’t it be better then, to compel others with empathy instead of pity?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 11:11 PM
0

Man do I have some good news for you ✨therapy✨
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 11:08 PM
1

What does men caring look like to you? What does it consist of?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 11:07 PM
-1

Okay first I just want to say, I really appreciate how much passion you wrote this comment with (not sarcasm, very very genuine)! I totally agree with you that it’s ridiculously hard to create a movement that doesn’t die from criticism. But each time a good-faith movement is started, it gets a little closer to the end goal. It’s unfortunate because these good-faith movements would have to disagree very publicly with men like Andrew Tate, which would be very hard to do, especially when there is s…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 11:06 PM
1

“Men compete with each other for scarce resources on a much larger scale than do women with each other.” Can you expand on this? What are the scarce resources for both men and women? Why is competition significantly higher in men than women?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 10:54 PM
-1

Women can absolutely become allies!! But you can’t expect women to start a movement on behalf of men. If men started movements that were truly and SOLELY focused on MEN’S issues, I already know every single woman in my life would be on board
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 10:52 PM
1

These kinds of comments fall under the “pity me” card. Now, I know that’s not how you’re intentionally trying to use it here, but it’s incredibly important to be aware of perceived cowardice. That instead of having the hard conversations and getting to the root of the actual issue, it’s easier to just say “nah my life is hard. that’s just how it is” and move on
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 10:49 PM
3

Would you be willing to share your experience with having men band together inwardly and why it only worked for a short while?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 10:46 PM
-1

ok this one requires too much therapy to have a logical, level headed conversation with
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 10:44 PM
2

YES YES YES 1000000% And it’s so unfortunate too, because if you’re having negative internal thoughts, seeing those thoughts written by other people only confirms the negativity in your head. It’s like the whole concept of “If no one says it, then it’s not real!” but then a bunch of commenters (unfortunately and incorrectly) say it :/
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 10:42 PM
5

YAY!! Thank you so much for commenting this!! “You could make that case about any issues in society” Yes! Totally agree with you!! So if there is an issue, say men’s mental health being ignored, wouldn’t it make sense that at least the pathway to a solution is to care more? “That stat is used entirely to combat the narrative that a lot of feminists push about society and men have easier lives” Ok I want to clarify where I’m coming from a bit! It’s a very common experience by women to post someth…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 10:39 PM
1

And this is exactly the reason for this post. How are you supposed to convince men that it’s important to care about others? Imagine living a life where you’ve had to repress every emotion, to the point where it’s a very low priority to care about the well being of your closest friends? I’m sorry this has been your experience so far, but it doesn’t have to keep being this way
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 10:24 PM
7

That seems like a pretty harsh mentality to have. Equating being a baby to caring about mental health? Who taught you it was sink or swim? Don’t you wish it didn’t have to be that way?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 10:22 PM
6

Are things going to be solved with a single Reddit post? No. That’s why you go out, again and again and AGAIN. If you try to enact change one time and then say “meh that’s enough for one lifetime”. How is that showing or demonstrating care??
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 10:19 PM
1

10000% agree with your first part! But as evolution changes over time, wouldn’t it make sense that the value we give things changes too? Why would we hold the same value to a campfire that the cavemen once did? Also, I do disagree with your last part. I don’t think the only way to understand actions is through the lenses of evolution. What about societal impact? Economical impact? Massive collective trauma?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 10:17 PM
-2

Yikes okay. So I’m not saying caring about women is misogynistic. Let’s read between the lines a little more. This entire post is focused on men. I mentioned women very very few times because the subject… is about men. The derailing happens when a comment is said and focused on the benefits? that women reap. This post has nothing to do about comparison between genders
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 10:11 PM
6

I was soooo close to agreeing with your first sentence! BUT empathy and pity are completely different emotions with different intentions. The intention of empathy is to have understanding. The intention of pity is to create acceptance through awkwardness
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 10:08 PM
7

And THISSSSSSSS is a great example of just trying to derail the convo and put women down, instead of ACTUALLY talking about the issues at hand
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 10:04 PM
3

I strongly feel this is a big part that leads into men’s loneliness! So why not change it?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 10:03 PM
-2

That’s amazing that you do that!! I really love that and I’m sure those boys have found value in the discussions!! But before society at large can even hint at caring, men first need to see the value in caring. If X group of people don’t stand up for themselves, no one else is going to start a movement on their behalf
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 10:02 PM
5

Surely, you don’t believe that men are only valid as they are useful to reproduction? That an entire person’s being and value is determined on this??
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 09:58 PM
4

Okay this is a great example of what I mean when men bring up that no one cares as a misogynistic tangent as a way of derailing the conversation or putting women down
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 09:56 PM
1

Ok absolutely no offense by any means, but this is exactly what I mean when I say it’s used for pity points. The “oh woe is me, no one cares” like if you don’t like it, why not try to change it??
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 09:53 PM
0

Lmao the ick isn’t related to masculinity- it’s related to growth and maturity. If you walk into your date’s place and they have no bed frame and just a mattress on the ground, that’s an ick. If you’re trying to talk to them and they keep speaking over you that’s an ick. It’s something that’s not big enough to be a red flag, or even a pink flag, it’s just something that rubs the person the wrong way
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 07:30 PM
1

“So where is the line at?” Self improvement is a life long journey. But for your context of dating, keep self improving until your self esteem is high enough and stable enough to know you are enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 11:19 PM
1

You’re stunting yourself with self-limiting beliefs
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/24 05:20 PM
2

This is simply not true at all. The type of girls girl you quoted as having deep connections to friends is also the same kind of person to have deep connections to their partner. These type of people (myself included) really value having deep connections with everyone, including partners, in their life. Also as someone who is a woman and a total romantic, this post is really hurtful): When I’m in a relationship, I go SO far out of my way to make my partner feel loved and desired. I plan and pay …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/24 05:08 PM
7

I totally disagree with this- I, nor ANY of my friends, have the man pay all the time. It’s very normal to just switch off who pays for the bill. “Oh you paid for dinner last night, I’ll cover tonight”
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/24 04:50 PM
1

As others have said, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That being said, for an example, here are some things I would consider unattractive: If he doesn’t: -shower regularly -wash his face -make sure he’s groomed well (beard is well taken care of and regularly gets haircuts) -brushes his teeth -wear clothes that actually fit him (it’s common for men to wear clothes that are a size or two too big) -walk with confidence -have good posture -is solely a mouth breather
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/24 11:15 PM
–

I personally think that everyone should have standards, and seriously seriously think about what that list specifically entails. Just a few of my own personal standards: •Has a general caring for their health (no smoking, no substance abuse, will go to the doctor if somethings wrong, doesn’t only eat fast food) •Emotionally intelligent and mature (healthy communication, heart-to-heart convos) •Takes me on cute creative dates •Makes me laugh •Has ambition and goals and dreams For me, these are al…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/24 12:28 AM
2

This is really sad because I think it perpetuates the idea that a person’s value is solely determined by their performance at xyz. And people are SO much more than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 01:41 AM
2

Social skills don’t come naturally to women- we’re just forced to learn them at a young age
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 01:33 AM
1

What does pretty privilege have to do with having deep connections with friends?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 01:29 AM
2

I think it’s a bit unfair to say that women want to know people on a deeper level, only to use it against them later in a fight. I, nor anyone I’ve known, has done this and if you or anyone experiences this, that person is just incredibly immature and disrespectful, regardless of gender. For me, if we’re friends, then we’re going to have a deep knowledge of each other. It’s actually a really beautiful thing when you get to know someone to the absolute depths of their heart, and they know yours i…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 12:58 AM
–

“Mental health services aren’t much help if their mental health issues are caused by substantive, material, issues with their lives. Such as…” What do you think mental health services help with?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 12:16 AM
-1

LMAO what century are we living in where “reasonable teeth/dental hygiene” is on a list of IDEALS?? 💀💀💀💀 please guys, just brush your teeth every day and go to the dentist twice a year. i swear it’s not that hard. It’s the bare minimum.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 01:08 AM
1

I LOVE planning dates! I’m a super creative person and used to daydream about someone taking me on the cutest date ever! So I decided to be that person for my partner! Once we’re officially in a relationship, I like to switch back and forth between who plans the date! I also like to make it a little more exciting and instead of just dinner for a date, the entire DAY is a date!! Example of one I planned in my last relationship: -wake up in the morning feeling like p diddy -make chocolate chip pan…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 12:43 AM
1

Yes!! You’re soooo close to getting it!! “Success with attractive women” is NOT the same as “the men are more attracted to women” Say you’re applying for a job. You hand in your resume to 100 companies, but no call backs. Eh, we know how the job market is rn. But then you get advice and spruce up your resume to make it better and now you’re getting call backs! BUT your outlook towards all these companies has not changed. Your basic resume (lower T) didn’t succeed at getting a job (getting an att…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 07:10 PM
-2

Ok wow The study was conducted at one point in time. They told all the men “here we’re doing this test” and then compared results. This just shows us where their T levels are right now. In order to see an increase or decrease, we would have to have our starting point, the test now, and then test everyone again way down the line in the future. But because the study DIDN’T do that, it’s just showing T levels right now at this exact moment in time. “A recent meta-analysis, summarizing the results o…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 06:50 PM
1

Just tiny tiny sidebar- the whole argument “men should make their own movement” is usually said in response to women being like “hey I deal with xyz issue being a woman” and then some guy says “oh yeah? Well men struggle too.” So if men make their own movement and focus on men specific issues, then that will be the place to talk about men specific issues, instead of trying to talk about men’s issues as a rebuttal to womens With that same logic, I think it’s completely valid to expect men to be a…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 04:12 AM
–

Don’t want to get into a huge thing but I just want to make you aware of a flaw in your parallel. Apply this prejudicial logic to literally any minority group When we’re talking about who and when it’s okay to be weary of a group of people, we need to ask ourselves who is in power? Men are in a position of power, so anyone oppressed by them are absolutely valid to be weary. In the US, white people are in the position of power, so anyone being oppressed by them is also valid to be weary. And this…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 03:54 AM
3

Not the original commenter, but I also practice radical self-ownership! One example I can think of off the top of my head: someone I was dating would get super anxious whenever we would drive somewhere (super narrow and crowded streets) and if I would make a left turn and a car was coming (or something similar) I would see him physically react, like bracing for impact. To (what I thought) calm him down, I’d reach over to him and rub his leg saying “it’s okay, it’s okay” as a way to soothe him. B…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 05:12 AM
0

I dated this guy and one of my FAVORITE green flags about him, was in grad school, his group of friends found out this one guy friend was suuuuper sketchy and shitty to women (like secretly removing the condom during sex) and when they found out about this, all of them instantly dropped him from the friend group. Whenever I hear the phrase “hold other men accountable” this is the situation that I think of. This kind of sketchy guy won’t really care if the woman gets upset- he’ll just move on to …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 05:03 AM
2

I agree with you, but for a completely different reason. This is my own personal experience: I’m an influencer and had a fan chase after me for years. I ended up developing feelings for him as well and we started dating, but it very quickly went south. So so often, these “average joes” don’t know what that celeb is actually like, so they end up filling in the gaps with what they want. This creates a perception of someone who doesn’t actually exist. When the average joe and celeb get together, th…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 04:53 AM
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