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derrickhoardlmft Archive

View 2 posts and 30 comments by derrickhoardlmft on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
31

Generalderrickhoardlmft/r/MensRights18/02/19 05:20 PM
8

False Accusationderrickhoardlmft/r/MensRights18/12/19 08:59 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

What do you think The Red Pill is? It is just someone's perspective. It is advice that met a need you had at the moment you were looking for it. Until something better comes along and you see it as a step up, you are going to stick with it.
/r/MensRights19/12/19 05:38 PM
1

But this is not the way it works, women in general won't see you as a possible mate unless they see it as a step up. This is why men from industrial nations can find mates in 3rd world countries. They may not be rich in the US, but compared to the world these women live in it's definitely a step up. Well, it seems you or someone else has the entire game figured out. It doesn't seem like a fun game to play, but I suppose one of the rules is that you don't question the underlying premises. All the…
/r/MensRights19/12/19 05:30 PM
1

Poor wording. It seems sad to me to just live in a universe where you can never be securely attached to a partner because hypergamy. It’s just fear of abandonment personified. I think that fear is what drives the entire rationale male worldview. I am sorry for insinuating you were paranoid. I more so meant in a heightened emotional state. The people who write those books and run those seminars need a steady stream of income. Even if you’re not buying it you’re telling someone. In any event we al…
/r/MensRights19/12/19 04:36 PM
1

Subjects are subjective, objects are objective. Too bad they don’t speak. I am sure there is an objective reality out there. As human beings we only have access to perspectives. We take in an enormous amount of stimuli on a moment to moment basis. We have to have a filter system and carve out distinctions. I have decided to carve out the distinction that the redpill is but one way of looking at the world. The problem is that it’s all encompassing. It’s unfalsifiable. I’d reject any worldview tha…
/r/MensRights19/12/19 04:10 PM
1

I understand why you think that. I know people who believe vaccines cause autism, astrology is actually science, and that they have a lucky number. It’s called confirmation bias. It is shaping your whole worldview because to you, it makes sense. It explains your troubles and offers a solution and also is self reinforcing. The fact you think I don’t get it makes you believe in it more. It’s a religion in that way. All the men I work with were hurting in that way too. I know I was when I read it. …
/r/MensRights19/12/19 04:12 AM
1

Ive read the rational male. If you choose to see the world in this way then it will literally be that way because there is no other choice.
/r/MensRights19/12/19 04:00 AM
1

And if he does not 'just go for it' he faces a life alone. What a choice. That is the definition of black and white thinking. He can ask. You can just ask. It might take longer and it is ok to just ask.
/r/MensRights19/12/19 01:32 AM
2

Whatever man. I am just going to continue to ask potential partners for consent before I encroach on their personal space. I am not a slave to my genes.
/r/MensRights19/12/19 12:08 AM
1

I don't care whether you call it RAPE CULTURE, HUMAN CULTURE, /r/situationships it doesnt matter what you call it. We live in a world where men are conditioned to "just go for it" or they lack initiative and confidence and women are conditioned to "want him to not ask". Whatever you call that is what were in and its fucking dangerous.
/r/MensRights18/12/19 11:59 PM
1

This post was better than the "hogwash" post you made. Things can change if you believe they can. If you don't believe they can it is because you either benefit from it or you have no ambition and don't care enough to try.
/r/MensRights18/12/19 11:58 PM
1

Prove your point instead of making a disqualifying statement.
/r/MensRights18/12/19 11:27 PM
1

I do not believe that such a culture is one humans are capable of. No such examples can be found, on large or small scales, it is purely theoretical and in order to suppose that humanity can be warped into this form you have to presuppose the strongest 'blank slate' position, where all individual variations of personality and behavior are acquired culturally, from stimuli present after birth. ​ This is the same argument for climate change. The same argument for civil rights. The same argument fo…
/r/MensRights18/12/19 11:09 PM
2

That's not it. They have been taught to fear. they have been taught that sex is something men do to women, and it harms the women. In many cases they have never been taught that they will WANT it, they were never expecting to want it. The wanting scares them. Both of the things can be true. If you want to call it fear I don't care what you call it. The fact is that, according to this study, 54% of women want a man to just do things to them without asking. That is what a kiss without permission i…
/r/MensRights18/12/19 10:11 PM
1

Nope, I just didn't format it correctly. I'm really upset that the culture against men has conditioned them to think I'm hating on men. I wish every man would watch this video. I know that a reddit study isn't super scientific but it has ramifactions for men. The men I work with have been falsely accused all had situations similar to this. "I divided the first 388 comments into three categories (I stopped after that since it was just too much work). Here are the results and some general insight …
/r/MensRights18/12/19 09:43 PM
3

I promise that it isn't what you think it is. It sounds like I am hating men. And I am not. https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/ecaaji/results_should_men_ask_for_permission_for_the/fbbklzq/ "I divided the first 388 comments into three categories (I stopped after that since it was just too much work). Here are the results and some general insight on the issue. I tried to weed out comments by men, or comments that didn't have a clear preference. From 388 women: 46%: Prefers he asks 24%…
/r/MensRights18/12/19 09:03 PM
2

Its on the sidebar
/r/MensRights18/02/19 11:01 PM
2

Perhaps you may feel a sense of purpose in advocacy then. If you have done everything you can to help yourself and you feel like you can help from a place of genuine compassion and not just lashing out or in anger, you can potentially help a lot of men in a similar situation or give pause to parents thinking about the procedure.
/r/MensRights18/02/19 06:39 PM
2

I'll look into it. Maybe the fact that I am a black man might give me a little innoculation into accusations of being a part of the patriarchy...
/r/MensRights18/02/19 06:29 PM
2

I think therapy helps with a lot of things. At times, swift behavioral interventions are required. There is something that you have to DO differently. Some issues, such as the one you are describing, require you to THINK differently about yourself. It can be helpful to have a compassionate voice to guide you on that journey. At the same time, books of self-compassion and self-acceptance can be helpful as well.
/r/MensRights18/02/19 06:28 PM
1

I do get frustrated when men are labeled as having "anger issues", but no one takes a look at the context in which these issues occur.
/r/MensRights18/02/19 06:26 PM
1

I appreciate the concern and it definitely something to think about. I am always up for spirited debate and I refuse to be a keyboard debater. If anyone wants to challenge the fact that I am simply providing a compassionate space for men to discuss issues that are their truths, their lived experiences, and ultimately their suffering then they are more than welcome to do so with me. Live and via synchronous video, but I will not engage in debates with others using just text and missing out on 70%…
/r/MensRights18/02/19 06:25 PM
2

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a Licensed Professional Counselor. Good question about it being non-political. I believe that sometimes people are looking for things to be offended by, I am sure that someone will see that I provide this specialty, make an assumption, and be unwilling to work with me. I am not looking for that person. Therapists are taught how to be as non-biased and apolitical as possible and obviously we have our own views and opinions. Its not about how I see…
/r/MensRights18/02/19 06:20 PM
5

Man, I am sorry to hear that. These ideas can be so ingrained that when we hear anything to contrary even experiences, it overrides our ability to be empathetic and we continue to tow the party line that circumcision is not a big deal). I am sorry you weren't able to discuss that with someone who could show you empathy and understanding because the world generally isn't empathetic or understanding to male genital mutilation. Have you been able to find any support groups or forums online?
/r/MensRights18/02/19 06:17 PM
5

Why did it fall through? There is a definite need. I have helped many people not mislabel their male child as ADHD because he is behaving as a male child should. It would be nice to have others to help in this endeavor.
/r/MensRights18/02/19 05:44 PM
2

You ever see the cartoons where a character is running to the edge of a cliff and keeps on walking onto thin air? It is only until he looks down that he begins to fall.
/r/askMRP04/01/18 12:49 AM
1

So I kinda get this and yet I don't. Could you expand on this and give a real life example of how a man is a willing participant and how he can stop it, without the obvious STFU, leaving the relationship, etc I'll do my best. This is the googled definition of manipulation: control or influence (a person or situation) cleverly, unfairly, or unscrupulously. The second word, influence, is of primary importance. We all influence each other. I am influencing you right now because I am a therapist. An…
/r/askMRP04/01/18 12:44 AM
5

What I don’t quite understand is how do I stop letting my feelings control my actions? Do. Something. Different. You might pop off at your wife, but would you do it to a cop? I bet not. So you do have control. You might need to walk away, start singing a song, do a handstand, start clapping, go get a glass of water, HELL DO ANYTHING but what you normally do. I worked with one guy in my online practice and after getting to know his particular style of communication, he would walk over and give hi…
/r/askMRP31/12/17 07:19 AM
15

I want to offer a different perspective. The guys are going to tell you the same thing I am, but I am going to say it in a way that might be more palatable. Its the therapist in me. Three things are immediately clear to me. We dont have both sides of the story. There is still some part of you that is giving her responsibility for your feelings. You are stuck in the pursuer-withdrawer pattern. Ill take each point by point. We dont have both sides of the story. I do appreciate that you said I have…
/r/askMRP31/12/17 06:55 AM
2

One thing that I think is relevant is that you say it has been "slow progress", but you have been together for 10 years. That is 10 years of negative interactional patterns that you are attempting to undo in 1. It simply isn't going to happen. So if you want to get over your frustration with your slow progress, you need to identify what things are working. What changes have you seen, no matter how small they are. On that note, what changes and progress were you expecting? How will you know when …
/r/askMRP28/12/17 01:49 AM
3

I'll offer a different perspective. The moratorium on sex is less about you and more about her. At this point, you have probably asked about sex so many times that any actions you take are interpreted by her as "he's just doing this so I will want to have sex with him". So even if you were to tell her "Hey lets not have sex for a while", she will still interpret it as a ploy by you to have more sex. The moratorium is about interrupting that vicious cycle. I guarantee you that, at some point, you…
/r/askMRP27/12/17 12:28 AM
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