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dew-waynz Archive

View 0 posts and 29 comments by dew-waynz on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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8

This is a great situation to work on yourself and setting healthy relationship boundaries. If you set the appropriate boundaries, he’ll have a choice to make in your relationship. Don’t let emotional fusion keep you tied to bad behavior.
/r/ExRedPill28/07/26 09:33 PM
14

Have more respect for yourself. Over and over and over you said his behavior was odd early on but you let it go. If you want to have a real relationship, you’ve got to talk that stuff through. Boundaries have to be set in relationships. Not just let them do whatever and see if it works out.
/r/ExRedPill22/07/26 11:34 AM
3

I ran across something that recently changed my whole perspective on relationships, especially long term relationships. There is a term called differentiation in Bowen family systems theory. The theory states that only people of the same differentiation level are capable of a LTR. Success in dating in red pill terms is sex with available women that you’re attract to. Success in a long term relationship requires a matched differentiation level. Two very different things. If you are interested in …
/r/ExRedPill16/07/26 04:18 PM
6

You are far too concerned with what other people think. I suggest you do some research on having a solid sense of self and differentiation. Those concepts will help you dig yourself out of this mindset that you should care that other people don’t agree with your lifestyle choices.
/r/ExRedPill11/07/26 10:18 PM
3

I had an extreme religious change at that age. People go through big changes at your age. You never know what’s coming next. I wish you the best and hope you find the right person.
/r/ExRedPill09/07/26 08:47 PM
3

How long was your relationship and how old are you two? You can blame this on red pill but what you described also sounds pretty normal for someone who gets a religious conviction.
/r/ExRedPill09/07/26 08:38 PM
10

What you’re describing is how most cults behave. They take observations and truth as the hook, then twist those truths into something else subtly to steer you a direction.
/r/ExRedPill08/07/26 07:25 PM
0

You can’t change someone. You can be a good friend, talk to them, share your experiences, stand for what you believe, respectfully disagree with their ideas, share with them hard truths, and be someone they can feel open to share with. None of that will change them. It might help them eventually change but the only person that can change them, is them. The term for that type of change is self confrontation. I’ve read that some therapists can eventually get someone to self confrontation by appeal…
/r/ExRedPill06/07/26 01:11 PM
4

I was going to say something similar. You hear occasionally in the news that there is a mental health crisis in America but few people realize that means just about everyone. Western culture in general is largely unhealthy. People need therapy and to work through their issues.
/r/ExRedPill29/06/26 10:37 AM
1

You might be overthinking and limiting your perspective of loneliness. Western culture is male loneliness. Men are pigeon holed into superficial “male” topics like work, sports, politics, history, hobbies, tv, etc. none of those are bad topics but rarely do we venture past.
/r/ExRedPill28/06/26 07:45 PM
3

It sounds like you’re open to learning, which is great, not a lot of people are open to new ideas. I recommend checking yourself for nice guy syndrome. Not saying you have it, but it’s very common, especially for people looking for red pill or MRP to help them. To check yourself for being in the right mental spot, check out the crucible 4 points of balance. Look at Bowen family systems theory and his 8 concepts to understand stand human relations a bit better. MRP has some good material but I fe…
/r/askMRP28/06/26 03:28 PM
3

In another post I saw you say you got here 12 hours ago. MRP is not a choice you should jump into lightly. It sounds like you’re frustrated with life and the situation you’re in. Everyone can relate to that. Before you go too far down this rabbit hole, take a few minutes and look up common cognitive distortions. Be really honest with yourself and see if any of those are things you’re dealing with.
/r/askMRP28/06/26 01:43 PM
14

You’re supposed to be you and work on yourself and the women that are right for you will be attracted to you. Your post has a lot of unhealthy, weak statements in it. You want her to be your mind reader? Get out of here with that lame garbage. Would you tolerate her deciding how much gym time is appropriate for you? You shouldn’t and she shouldn’t take that from you. She might not be replying to your texts because she knows you are weak and caught up waiting for her response. Go live your life a…
/r/askMRP28/06/26 12:44 PM
2

Yes. Everyone has seen that. Walk outside and you’ll see plenty of people that aren’t perfectly paired by genetics.
/r/ExRedPill24/06/26 05:24 PM
2

I think you’re right that most people will initially select someone based on genetic compatibility and some level of shallowness. The neocortex in humans is larger than any other mammal. As a result, we have the ability to not be shallow. It’s the reptilian brain that is shallow. If you let your reptilian brain run your life (many do) then you will be shallow. A solid sense of self and differentiation is totally outside the reptilian brain.
/r/ExRedPill24/06/26 04:53 PM
2

Differentiation allows you to be yourself and hold onto yourself while also being able to be close to others who have differing views. Which is the opposite of what happens in most families when politics or religion are brought up e.g. fight fight fight or run away. I don’t think someone can reach that level of maturity and also be shallow.
/r/ExRedPill24/06/26 03:29 PM
2

What you’re describing is most people in society not having a solid sense of self and not being differentiated. Very few are truly mentally healthy in this regard. Do some research on Bowen family systems theory. You’ll get a whole new picture and perspective on human relationships and how messed up most of us are.
/r/ExRedPill24/06/26 02:41 PM
1

The final say in what though? In a healthy relationship, you both choose to be in the relationship and you can both walk away at anytime. I get you are working your way out of red pill thoughts. I just want to encourage to not go the other extreme.
/r/ExRedPill24/06/26 11:37 AM
5

I’m happy for you but what did you mean by, “in every culture woman had the final say.” ? I only bring that up because red pill uses truths to sell lies, like any good cult. But don’t throw out the truths. Men matter and our happiness matters. A relationship doesn’t work unless you both are into it.
/r/ExRedPill24/06/26 11:07 AM
0

You’ve asked an unanswerable question. All you should be concerned with is you and living your best life. Checkout the 4 points of balance and see if you have areas to improve on https://www.crucible4points.com/crucible-four-points-balance/ Those points are rooted in Bowen’s family systems theory. To answer your question, men typically fawn over physical attraction. Women do too but that’s less important to them. This is why it’s hard for most men to understand a pretty woman who has chosen to b…
/r/ExRedPill22/06/26 03:04 PM
1

Passionate Marriage is a fantastic book but it’s done through the lens of sex. Just keep that in mind as you read it. Take a look at the 4 points of balance, these ideas are largely what the book is about https://www.crucible4points.com/crucible-four-points-balance/
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 12:37 PM
0

Please educate yourself of Bowen family systems theory (fusion dynamics, solid sense of self, differentiation). The book Passionate Marriage is heavily rooted in Bowen’s theory. Whether the marriage can be saved is largely up to him and how he reacts when you differentiate. Which is to say, you put pressure in the relationship by not taking the situation anymore. The best in you needs to stand up and not take the situation anymore. You’re not doing yourself, him, or the kids any favors by lettin…
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 11:45 AM
4

The only book I’ve found to be amazingly helpful is Passionate Marriage. It may sound like a marriage book but it’s so much more than that. It’s a book about self confrontation and being yourself in a relationship.
/r/ExRedPill18/06/26 12:34 AM
8

People get sucked into all sorts of crazy ideologies. Like most of them, red pill uses some truths to sell lies. There’s no telling what he’s taken in.
/r/ExRedPill15/06/26 12:45 AM
2

There are a lot of good comments in here but think your post really hits at the core. The NMMNG book focuses on this idea well. You need to be comfortable with who you are and understand yourself, before you can move on to making improvements for yourself. Those improvements should impact those around you in a positive way. I also want to point out that being focused on making others happy is caretaking. You should make you happy and bring others along for the ride.
/r/askMRP06/06/26 01:59 PM
2

It sounds like you have emotional enmeshment/fusion issues with your wife. NMMNG addresses some of that. Passionate Marriage is a book that may not be MRP specific but it clearly details the inevitable cycles couples go through. There aren’t really solutions dictated in that book, rather it pushes personal responsibility and personal confrontation. Which I believe is really well in alignment with OYS.
/r/askMRP28/05/26 05:06 PM
2

If you end up reading the book, dm me afterwards. I’d love to hear your thoughts on it. I read it about a month ago and it gave me a whole new perspective on life and relationships.
/r/askMRP24/05/26 12:01 AM
2

Being a well rounded, emotionally capable adult, divorce in your head isn’t the right frame of mind, but it’s close. You need to be able to stand on your own and not be impacted by your spouse’s emotions. You also need to be able to stay close. It’s a tough balance. The book Passionate Marriage has some great info on this. Chapters 4, 5, & 6 especially.
/r/askMRP23/05/26 07:02 PM
1

I’m new to this community. I recently read a book called Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch and while I was searching for more info on that comment, I came across this community. The hard reality I’ve learned from that book is that you’re experiencing an unhealthy marriage dynamic. Couples get emotionally fused. She has a need for you to validate her and that’s not really what healthy marriage is about. Here’s some AI slop that explains it better than I can: In David Schnarch’s framework, thi…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/26 10:26 PM
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