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didumakethetea Archive

View 20 posts and 180 comments by didumakethetea on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
1812

FDS MEMESdidumakethetea/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 04:18 AM
425

#JustLVMThingsdidumakethetea/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 02:21 PM
336

SCROTES MADdidumakethetea/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 09:52 PM
257

didumakethetea/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 05:23 PM
251

FDS SUCCESS!didumakethetea/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 11:57 PM
182

SCROTES MADdidumakethetea/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 06:05 PM
125

PICKME CULTUREdidumakethetea/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 06:14 PM
123

DUMP HIS ASSdidumakethetea/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 02:23 AM
88

LESSON LEARNEDdidumakethetea/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 11:39 PM
66

NAH, SISdidumakethetea/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 02:45 AM
64

#JustLVMThingsdidumakethetea/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 08:02 PM
53

LVM LOGICdidumakethetea/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 07:27 PM
48

DUMP HIS ASSdidumakethetea/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 10:44 PM
41

MALE DEPRAVITYdidumakethetea/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 04:25 PM
21

DISCUSSIONdidumakethetea/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 06:10 PM
13

SEEKING ADVICEdidumakethetea/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 01:22 AM
10

SEEKING ADVICEdidumakethetea/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 11:47 PM
8

MALE DEPRAVITYdidumakethetea/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 05:05 PM
1

DISCUSSIONdidumakethetea/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 01:57 AM
1

FDS HUMORdidumakethetea/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 07:13 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
128

She's probably the first person who let him that close to her face
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 08:59 PM
6

I would have done the same as you. I have many plants and they're all special to me. Only a psycho would destroy something important to you while laughing. You did everything right and I'm so sorry about your bonsai.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 05:53 PM
22

Elise doesn't exist lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 12:24 AM
7

I think it's a typo for "good God"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 12:24 AM
1

Like once every 2 years. I have mega RBF.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 11:45 AM
13

Yeah but you don't manipulate someone into having sex with you ever. I've been through the same thing with a LL ex and wouldn't go through it again. I'd find someone whose sex drive matched mine/stay attractive/flirt with my SO, I wouldn't wage a year long campaign to make them so insecure they had sex with me when they didn't want to just so I didn't leave them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 09:15 PM
63

men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 01:27 AM
10

And sometimes LVM actually kill women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 11:46 AM
10

I blocked him everywhere and then sat on my hands any time I had the urge to reopen lines of communication. You'll feel like your heart has been ripped out for a bit, but ride it out and you'll look back with absolute horror and the realisation that this man could have killed you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 01:47 AM
11

Clear your home of all smoking stuff, all your grinders, all the papers you can find, bin them. Block and delete your dealers' numbers. Stop hanging out with people who smoke. Fill up your time with other stuff. That's how I did it. I smoked for years and after a week not smoking I barely thought about it. Now, the idea of smoking pops up occasionally but it's manageable and passes a lot more quickly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 01:42 AM
5

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 01:32 AM
3

Yes, I think you're right about the self doubt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 01:31 AM
13

You're so right 😂 if this was any of my friends I'd be like RUN. Maybe I just gotta stop dating and go get some therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 12:17 AM
76

If your friends are perverts, get rid of your friends, don't ask your girlfriend to modify her behaviour.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 12:31 PM
28

A 5 year long-distance relationship is crazy to even consider. A 5 year long-distance situationship? Girl. Come on. You know the answer already.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 12:55 AM
27

It's up to you what you do but it seems like he wants you to be exclusive to him without actually making a commitment. That's not very HV imo. If he's going to be gone for 5 years, it's not viable. You'll both literally be different people in 5 years. Move on before you're in too deep emotionally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 12:49 AM
9

Thank you girl ❤️ I had an extremely hard time after it all ended, like full on breakdown, on meds for a while, but I recovered and it taught me I'm super resilient and it's made me a hell of a lot more pragmatic when it comes to relationships. As a bonus, after what I went through nothing else seems that bad 😂 still wouldn't recommend it though lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 12:51 AM
21

Document everything. First time he threatens you in any way, go to the police. They might not do anything immediately but it will be logged. If you feel unsafe, gun for a restraining order. Proof is your best friend. I have a restraining order against an ex because towards the end of our relationship I got my ducks in order and kept evidence of everything. He lived with me and wouldn't leave when I told him to so it ended when I called the police. If I hadn't had the evidence he wouldn't have be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 12:29 AM
86

I would hate to be proposed to in front of people, I'd feel more pressure to say yes lol. Still better than what my ex did which was find out I was pregnant and say 'I guess we should get married then'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 11:25 PM
24

How does he know your address?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 04:16 AM
13

What?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 11:13 PM
1

Hmm I could but atm I'm enjoying his conversation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 05:23 PM
1

You think having the police turn up is less of a public scene?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 03:57 AM
11

He thinks the only reason women exist is to serve him/men in some way. Even in his example it's a nurse who helps his recovery. I doubt this man has the ability to see women as autonomous human beings
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 12:14 AM
11

Yeah I agree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 06:14 PM
4

I don't know who he is but I've never despised anyone more
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 09:38 AM
2

What do you need to talk to him about? Why give him a chance to twist things? You have all the information you need.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 01:22 AM
3

Yeah absolutely, I'm talking to other people as well, but I've been talking to him longest. Once he gets back to the UK he's going to have to quarantine for 2 weeks because he's coming in from Spain so I'm guessing we won't be meeting for a while. Should I expect a video call or whatever in place of a date? I don't really want to be just texting someone for weeks tbh. Edit: as in, should I block if he doesn't initiate a call the way I usually would if no plans for a date?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 01:12 AM
3

Yeah you're right, thank you. I guess I'm worried about wasting time on someone that's not into me but if that's the case it'll be obvious in other ways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 01:05 AM
2

I've got a quick question: I've been getting on with an OLD guy over text, been talking a few days, no date request yet but he's out of the country atm (seeing family). I was on hinge and went on his profile and noticed he's changed a couple things, a picture and one of his question/answers. Idk when he did it but is this a red flag that he's not that into me? We haven't met or called or anything so I'm obviously not bothered by him talking to other people (I am talking to couple others myself) …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 12:58 AM
67

My ex can't do this because a) he's incapable of seeing himself as anything other than a perfect specimen of manhood, and always will be b) I have a restraining order and if he contacts me he's going to prison
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 03:32 PM
5

It might be easier just to give them back but I wouldn't meet him to do it. I'd pass them on through a friend. If you want to keep them and have it in writing from him that he didn't want them back then that's your prerogative but this dude sounds dangerous and your main focus should be cutting him completely from your life and going no contact. I'd give them back. Whatever they are, they're not worth his continued presence in your life. Men like this won't hesitate to call the cops and say you'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 03:30 PM
3

For me it's the lie. Zero tolerance for lies. And it's a lie that can so easily be found out so if they have the opportunity to lie about something not easily found out later on to benefit themselves, they will. Cause they're liars.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 12:34 AM
14

I snooped in my last relationship and never found anything. He was cheating on me. There's no point in snooping. If you feel the urge to then you already have all the information you need - you don't trust him. Leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 05:56 PM
18

He has 350k followers cause LVM love hearing justifications and how tos on being shit people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 05:44 PM
2

This is absolutely insane. Its gotta be a joke, right? Right?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 04:23 PM
18

This wouldn't work on me because I'm only 5ft7 but all the rest of my family are tall. My mum is 5ft10 so if you're shorter than my mum you're out lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 02:27 PM
1

Yeah this is true and it's not siding with a cheater, it's siding against someone covertly filming people having sex. There's no need for it anyway, he could have put the cameras in any other area of the house to catch them together, it's enough. He didn't need to see them having full sex, let alone take a recording of it. If you find yourself recording your bedroom while you're out because you think your partner is cheating, just leave them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 10:50 AM
6

It's stupid, they're not allowing themselves even the chance of a functional relationship with that attitude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 10:29 AM
21

Yeah I looked at his profile after seeing this and it is basically what you said
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 06:37 PM
111

The "introduce structure" comment is the worst. They're literally telling her that her husband should be treated as a child lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 02:26 PM
3

Remember that if someone asks you out, they're at least physically attracted to you. Never doubt that you're attractive to a man who's pursuing you just because you have your own hang ups. If you believe they aren't attracted to you, it will show in body language and your behaviour, and self deprecation is a huge mood killer for HVM and a vulnerability that LVM will exploit. Dress for your size and shape, wear what makes you feel good, and vet as ruthlessly as if you were a supermodel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 02:08 PM
5

Well done!! That's definitely an achievement to be proud of 🥂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 01:46 PM
0

Replied to OP's comment
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 01:38 PM
5

This may sound heartless but it's how I see it. In the context of a relationship, flowers are traditionally sent by men to woo women. At times of grief or personal tragedy it's easy to want to bend the rules and let your standards drop in order to "be there" for a man, but sending flowers in a romantic relationship is seen one way and one way only. Sending them to the funeral is absolutely A-OK if you're in a committed relationship, but sending flowers directly to a man intended to be displayed …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 01:17 PM
4

Thank you, I'll try on desktop later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 12:40 PM
19

Sorry, I totally skipped the main part of your post, but all I have to say is that he is a trash human, which you already know. This shit definitely reinforces the zero tolerance stance for next time. Don't look back, he's not worth it. Block everywhere, leave him to his ig models who have zero interest in him lmao. I remember this anxiety from previous relationships and have no wish to repeat the experience. We deserve better, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 12:24 PM
18

Do you know if you can see who someone's following on ig if you don't have an account? I checked out this guy's ig who I've been chatting with but could only scroll so far before it asked me to log in, just wondering if it's the same for following/followers, I didn't even think to check before.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 12:18 PM
35

Thanks, I hate it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 11:44 AM
4

Don't send flowers. He'd have to explain to his family where they came from, forcing him to discuss you and his relationship with you before he might be comfortable doing so. If you just sent them to him then - you're sending a man flowers. That's just a straight no. Just continue to be kind and supportive the way you have been, but make sure you don't become a quasi therapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 11:27 AM
11

You're being delusional, sorry. It's those rose tinted glasses making you think he can grow into a HVM. All you need to know is that he's not a HVM and didn't treat you well. That's it. Potential isn't real when it comes to HVM/LVM. They are or they aren't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 11:13 AM
19

I get lonely sometimes, but not half as lonely as when I was living with my ex. It's totally normal to crave touch and companionship, but it doesn't all have equal value, which is what I remind myself whenever I'm feeling it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 11:00 AM
5

Dump him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 03:56 AM
10

I'm in the UK so I could get a shotgun if I joined a gun club but there's extremely strict regulations and you can't exactly carry it around. I'm looking into it at the moment to see if it's possible. I'm also going to get a big dog. I'm used to dogs, love them and can train and look after one. I'm waiting for my dad to breed his dog though, but it being impossible to get an open or concealed carry here it's the best protection I can think of.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 03:15 AM
4

He is swearing at you and being aggressive towards you. It doesn't have to be name calling to be swearing at you or aggression.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 04:28 PM
6

I get an email confirmation for every purchase so I'm pretty sure this is the only one. But that makes me wonder why this film was worth breaking cover for. He must have been using my Prime for literally 2 years!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 08:33 AM
82

I cancelled the purchase so he knows I know what a pervy little scrote he is 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 08:30 PM
2

Not sure who you're saying doesn't understand anatomy, the poster or the mutilators?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 12:20 AM
16

The victim blaming is appalling and I'd dump on that basis alone, but you also have to consider that your interests and lifestyles are incompatible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 12:09 AM
3

I thought this guy was my genuine friend, we were friends through a really tough time in my life (check my post history for details), after I rejected him he withdrew from the friendship a whole lot but was still around the odd time. I cut him off eventually a few months ago and occasionally still feel the impulse to message him or talk to him. I loved this guy, platonically, genuinely loved him, we were really close at one point and had a load in common, same sense of humour, we'd watch the sam…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 03:10 AM
2

The main objective is to not marry or be with a LVM, even if that means never marrying at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 11:22 PM
7

I promise you every single one of the votes that's not for RUN is a male lurker. Girl. RUN.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 05:52 AM
126

This is... so embarrassing for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 03:43 AM
18

My ex already had another girlfriend by the time of his trial date for DV. I'm 1000% sure he told everyone I was a crazy liar. He didn't even have any friends with him in court for moral support, guess he knew he couldn't lie anymore if they saw the evidence all laid out. But I know for sure, because I was told by someone I trust, that he told everyone I was keeping hold of his stuff, and wouldn't let him get it. Firstly, his bail conditions meant he couldn't come anywhere near me (I now have a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 03:30 AM
10

Yeah I'm out of the game for the foreseeable. Don't need the stress.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 03:22 AM
11

It's really easy to get the wrong impression from someone if your relationship is purely through messaging for months so I can totally understand why he would cut it off until you two can really get to know each other. Honestly the thought of having to maintain that for so long sounds exhausting, I'd much rather do it the way he's doing it. I would go on the date but if he lapses contact again I'd cut it off. This lockdown is a very unique situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 02:11 AM
44

I breastfed my LO for 2 years and there were a lot of times when I felt like giving up, but it was super important TO ME. And so it was my decision to make, and mine alone. This guy is acting like he has control of his wife's body. Absolutely disgusting. Babies bite, and pull. Sometimes my kid would bite down, and then jerk his head back, it's so painful it's unreal. I'm clenching my teeth at the memory, I'm so tense just thinking about it lmao. No one has the right to tell someone else they sho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 02:43 AM
42

Get a deadbolt and a chain for your front door. Better safe than sorry, for real. I hope nothing happens and I'm so glad you got your pup ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 02:36 AM
27

Nah fuck this, I'll always support women, even if they're being assholes. I might have a different kind of support for them (as in, support doesn't mean blindly agreeing) but I'm not about tearing women down, men have been doing that for millenia. We need each other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 02:33 AM
1

Yeah that's why it's a crush, not 'I like him'. He's just smart and attractive, nothing special.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 06:25 PM
7

Yes! I have a HUGE crush on a friend of a friend (we follow each other on twitter and have the odd interaction, but have never met), but I'm close to blocking him because I just can't be arsed with it. It's only a crush and I don't actually know the guy, he's probably a scrote in real life and I cba with the disappointment. And then I realised... I feel like this about all men. I just don't want a man in my house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 03:20 AM
185

Or "ohhh okay, what's the punchline?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 10:36 PM
5

I had a visit from bailiffs looking for my NV ex! Luckily I had the restraining order to prove he didn't live with me any more lol. Did you ever take swing dancing lessons?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 07:48 PM
6

Yeah definitely, I don't do any online dating because it's not worth wading through the trash. I really wish there was a reputable dating app, not full of LVM and NVM. My only option as it stands is to meet people in real life and covid put the kibosh on that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 01:55 AM
5

Yeah for sure, I wouldn't bother with bumble. It's almost guaranteed to be a waste of time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 01:41 AM
21

I will never in my whole life make the first move. There's absolutely no reason in the entire world good enough to make me do it. If you make the first move, what do you end up with? A man who isn't that into you but will fuck you til he finds someone he is into. Not me, I'd rather die single. Thank fuck for this sub though tbh, it's harder to stay firm and make no concessions when people are spreading this dumbass message left, right and centre, and telling you you're a feminazi or gold digger …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 12:31 AM
15

You're out of there, that's what counts now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 11:46 PM
7

Same. I have twitter and reddit and that's it and both those it's normal to be anonymous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 11:12 PM
37

Pretty hard to "make your own damn rules" when everyone's been playing by the same ones, knowingly or not, for millenia.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 11:06 PM
44

Oh my god how has she stayed with him for 25 years?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 11:03 PM
3

Not if you truly like yourself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 01:52 AM
6

How difficult is it to pick a card off a shelf even
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 01:39 AM
11

He offered to pay $0 both times. Yes, OP should have said no the first time, but with a HVM there wouldn't have been a first time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 10:19 PM
22

Don't forget to get an STD test done if you didn't use condoms with him. Depending on where you are there are online services that means you can do it at home if you don't want to visit a doctor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 09:28 PM
83

"he's hit me multiple times" "I don't think he'd ever hit me" She's deep in the fog. I hope she gets out of that relationship asap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 09:24 PM
46

Oh my. These guys are straight up rapists. And they're all getting off together with their little fantasies, they might as well be sucking each other's dicks. No one else is gonna.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 09:22 PM
28

Say nothing and walk, a HVM wouldn't be asking you on "house dates". This guy's looking to get laid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 09:19 PM
7

You shouldn't have to feel that way, like you have to be on guard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 12:10 AM
68

You obviously still want something from him or you'd have ended it by now. You know what to do here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 09:56 PM
30

Sure! When men stop lying, we'll stop laughing at them for it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 08:33 AM
16

Yeah sorry, this ^ is what I meant
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 05:31 PM
25

OP, where did you find this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 03:53 PM
162

Yeah you're totally right but actually getting involved with any man is starting to feel like too big a risk when just going about our day is enough for these arseholes to want to hurt us you know. Having a man in my house? No, thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 03:08 PM
516

Men are fucking disgusting, this shit makes me want to stay single forever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 02:56 PM
85

Why would you date someone you weren't attracted to?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 03:19 AM
55

I'd end things as soon as we got back home. He's the one in control of the flights!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 11:29 PM
23

Abusers don't start smacking you around in the first couple of weeks. Your comment only further highlights your absolute ignorance on this topic. If you hating yourself for 'letting' things happen to you makes you jump online and tell victims of abuse that they chose what happened to them then you need to go back to therapy because you don't understand it. Given the nature of this sub, I bet there's a ton of women on here who have experienced abuse and you're on here telling them they chose it? …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 04:37 PM
23

I got absolutely F all out of being in an abusive relationship (no such thing as 'toxic', call it what it is). I thought he loved me and would change because I was naive and because he manipulated me at a really vulnerable time in my life. Your comment is offensive beyond belief. I went through so much shit at his hands. It was hard to leave not because of some imaginary "secondary benefits" I was getting but because he'd physically, sexually, financially and mentally abused me for a long time, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 04:25 PM
15

I've been cheated on and I've been divorced. As harsh as this is gonna sound right now to you, you'll get over it. Him cheating is a reflection on him, not on you. Work on yourself and your goals and get your head straight before you start dating again or you'll just end up with another loser (like I did). You got this, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 12:45 AM
22

I personally think it's really disrespectful to even ask. Think about what it is that's actually being asked of you. It would put me off so much I probably would just dump them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 12:40 AM
35

I'm of the philosophy that I'll most likely be single for the rest of my life and I'm fine with it. I'm fine with it because I already have a child, and I honestly don't need a man for anything else. I wouldn't adopt or get a sperm donor because I never want to be a single parent ever again (I love my son and I would give my life for him, but I wouldn't add another kid to the mix, not willingly anyway). In an ideal world, with the literal ideal man, I'd probably have 2 or 3 more babies. Soit's t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 12:20 AM
8

I do love a good HVM story tbf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 04:34 PM
1

What do you need hope for then
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 04:21 PM
29

I'm not trying to find a HVM, I'm trying to avoid LVM. Be happy single!! It's rad tbf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 03:44 PM
3

Why do you think this dude lurks here? Is it you? There are like 4 billion men in the world, they don't all read FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 01:44 AM
2

LVM are gonna screw us if they can anyway, FDS is to screen them out before it gets to the stage OP's at now. If she followed FDS from the start of their relationship she probably wouldn't even have considered him because of the age gap. I'm sure there were other red flags, for example she wouldn't have let him link her to a phone he was financing and then remove himself from the account etc etc (I'm not dragging you OP if you're reading this BTW just saying). So if anything what the previous co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 01:41 AM
64

Look at it another way, you're a great cook, you're gifted with crafts, you have emotional self control. Your qualities are wonderful, frame them around YOU. Appreciate yourself. Make yourself elaborate meals. Make something for yourself that you really love. Don't worry about loving "the wrong way". You already know you have emotional self control - use it! The more you do for yourself the more you'll appreciate yourself. When I'd make a nice meal for an ex I'd be waiting to see what they thoug…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 01:02 AM
14

Yeah I got bad feelings about that. I hope I'm wrong, but imo this is too fast. Like, love bombing fast.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 09:35 PM
13

I remember reading something, when they were dating one of her friends said to her "oh my god you're so lucky to have him" and she said "no, he's lucky to have me" literal Queen (to be) energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 09:25 PM
13

https://www.reddit.com/r/BreakUps/comments/fwud5m/i_just_got_dumped_for_now_should_i_really_go_back/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 10:45 PM
21

Yes! Exactly!! I hope she gets away from him and into a house she owns by herself ASAP. The whole time I was reading it I was just thinking "he doesn't give a fuck about her".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 02:59 AM
2

Well, sure, every job has its value to society otherwise they wouldn't exist. In my experience men who have low skilled jobs and are doing nothing to further or secure their careers are low motivation, high expectation in many other areas too. They feel like the world owes them something, they're often bitter and resentful about their job because it's unfulfilling and it carries over to relationships where you end up having to affirm this guys delusions of grandeur and are bowled over by the sli…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 07:52 PM
5

Guns are illegal where I live so if a man has one (unless he's a farmer or whatever) then it's an unbelievably huge red flag. But it's not really the point of the post to me because it's such a distant concept so I can't really comment in any kind of an informed way about the US gun control debate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 09:30 AM
3

If you mean the comment I almost posted, then - I'm speaking from personal experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 09:22 AM
8

Oh sorry, about the hierarchy of needs being scrambled she's saying because of coronavirus and how crazy it's gotten, people's priorities are changing and that's the type of guy she'd place the highest value on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 06:55 PM
28

She's saying that a good man with a gun is at the top in like apocalyptic circumstances, but it's irrelevant really cause I suspect this dude says this verbatim any time a woman says she's single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 06:49 PM
44

Fuckin preach sister, I was always one of those "of course men and women can be just friends!" but nah absolutely not - it doesn't work in the slightest. I've looked back on other friendships with so much more clarity since accepting that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 12:46 AM
60

Define the relationship?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 12:23 AM
48

What's a DTR? I've read the handbook so if it's in there I've forgotten it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 12:23 AM
1

That's true but it's still disgusting. And evidence you cannot change a man!! Ever!! He is who he is, whether he suppresses it for a while or not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 06:57 PM
1

I didn't even know that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 06:00 PM
5

He stole her twenties, I'm so sad for her! She literally spent her youth with a disgusting old man. I hope she wises up and doesn't waste any more time on dirty old men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 05:31 PM
9

Remember the traits of a HVM will still be there years into a relationship so don't compromise on things just because you've been together for a while. Always, always remember the sunk cost fallacy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 02:02 PM
11

Read the handbook, a single comment won't be enough to cover this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 01:55 PM
20

Sex is the most utterly natural thing in the world. A HVM who isn't trying to bend you in half or get you to do crazy positions the first time you have sex won't be able to tell you're a virgin. But he also won't think it's a bad thing and won't hold being your first over you. If you spend 6 months getting to know someone before sleeping with them, the sex is almost guaranteed to be good. It's not gonna be about past experience, it'll be about sharing the experience with each other. Have you mas…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 07:24 PM
4

My mum apologised and that's fine, I'm prepared to accept the apology but it doesn't mean I'm gonna go back to how things were. She gets upset that I don't tell her ANYTHING now but that's just the way it has to be if she wants to see me. I'll never take or entertain listening to her advice again. She started going on about something the other day and being overly emotional and I just got up and left. Pretty much the same for everyone else tbh. I see them but I don't tell them anything about my …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 11:39 PM
7

I knew my ex was cheating on me but never found any proof. Gotta listen to the gut! Found out after I dumped him & had already got a restraining order which is good because I would have punched him in his smug face (and he would have killed me for daring to). All LVM are the same! Literally, whatever they can get away with or gaslight you into accepting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 07:43 PM
36

Oh my fucking god, my ex would say "I've NEVER hit you!!", no just shoved me to the floor, strangled me, threw things at me, psychologically tortured me and smashed up my home and belongings. But you've never punched me straight in the face so yah you're not abusive, well done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 07:04 PM
54

Yeah for sure. I got married because I was pregnant. I got engaged before telling my family and when I told my mum about the baby she literally said "well now you HAVE to get married". Then when I left my exhusband she told me to go back to him despite knowing about his alcoholism and violence. Then a few years later still emotionally damaged I got in another abusive relationship and when I called the police on my ex she accused me of trying to ruin his life and get "revenge". He literally threa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 06:53 PM
23

Yep, broken picture frames, smashed laptop, broke my bedroom door, my clothes airer. Never any of his stuff. Moved onto physical abuse, choking, held a knife to my throat etc. Girls, if a man breaks your stuff out of anger FOR REAL he will go on to physically abuse you. Don't forgive, not even once, just move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 09:02 AM
3

I don't understand how their minds work, honestly, what are they even doing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 03:53 AM
5

So he doesn't talk to her between dates, which she is the one to initiate, then she rewards him with sex for his no effort. How is she not seeing this? She literally spelled it out for herself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 02:38 AM
6

I haven't had sex in a year and 7 months and tbh I've never been happier, emotionally and sexually. I've probably had more orgams in that time than in all the years I was sexually active put together. I would love to have sex with a man who loved me and cared about my pleasure. But bad sex? Absolutely not, no thanks, had more than enough of that. There's that saying about pizza and sex, even when it's bad it's still good. Yeah nah. Maybe for men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 02:27 AM
3

He literally said "open it for me", couldn't even take things out of a bag himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 02:01 AM
5

I genuinely thought this was a euphemism until I read your comments. What on earth. I've taught myself to do loads of DIY (like laying carpet, fixing Google-able shit) cause I pride myself on being self sufficient around the house (and everywhere else tbh). If it's a specialist job, I call someone and PAY them. The audacity of this man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 01:54 AM
10

Even if all this was 100% true and the boyfriend was 100% innocent, HE should be the one to shut it down and avoid all contact. If he doesn't do that without the girlfriend asking or prompting then he is a LV trash man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 01:34 AM
97

Do you mean "I was in...". You're worth more than this. Let this slide and it'll happen again, I PROMISE you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 01:07 AM
22

How are you going to know it doesn't happen again? If he knows you have no memory of any time in the past. Can you set up a camera to record during the night? Or preferably, never sleep next to him again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 07:25 PM
9

Saved this post for future reference because you handled this PERFECTLY.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 06:35 PM
19

You have to remember that a lot of manipulative men will use past trauma to get you to rely on them. They will know exactly which buttons to press. They'll also know what behaviour you've excused in the past. It takes a long time to know whether someone is manipulative, and word vomiting to the wrong person could literally cost you years of your life if you're still vulnerable. It could cost you your life if you get involved with certain people. Take some time out of dating to get your head stra…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 11:20 PM
3

This is amazing cause it's literally happening on this post now
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 02:16 AM
1

It's so ridiculous as well that I was so dependant on him when my intuition was screaming at me that he was a bad person. I lay in bed the night before my wedding 6 months pregnant fantasising about running away. I spent my wedding night crying myself to sleep. Whenever I think about it I feel so sad for the young 21 year old girl I was, heading into a joke of a marriage to an alcoholic 30 year old man who had achieved nothing in his life. I left him 9 months into the marriage and literally ran …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 04:04 PM
2

You too! I've been divorced for almost 5 years now and my ex quickly found another vulnerable young girl to latch onto so he's largely out of my life. He sees my son once a week for 2 hours (court ordered, you best believe I showed up with a shit ton of evidence against him). His only requirement from the court to gain more access to my son is to produce a clean drug/alcohol test and it's been HALF A DECADE and he still has not. He's a pathetic waste of skin and I can't believe at one point I th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 03:58 PM
4

This is... so weirdly similar to what I've been through.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 02:01 AM
8

I haven't shaved my pubes legs or armpits in a reeeeeally long time. If the hair wasn't supposed to be there it wouldn't grow there. If I was wearing a skirt or dress with no/skin colour tights then I'd probably shave my legs for aesthetics but I honestly can't be arsed doing it all the time. Any man who's put off by that - okay, bye then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 12:07 AM
19

Probably British. We use ise not ize in most instances. Also OP said uni not college. Adam, if you're reading this, I'm not defending you, fuck off outta here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 03:47 PM
16

Jump in at the deep end! I promise you'll feel better!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 12:08 AM
18

Just block him now. What are you waiting for?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 10:45 PM
3

Can you link the video?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 06:39 PM
7

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/f42wci/my_21m_girlfriend_20f_is_upset_with_me_cause_i/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 05:32 PM
3

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/f42wci/my_21m_girlfriend_20f_is_upset_with_me_cause_i/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 05:28 PM
5

If only it was the girlfriend who had posted! I feel so sad not being able to tell her she's worth more than that! I hope she realises it herself really soon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 04:39 PM
26

Worse that that! It's his own sister!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 07:32 PM
9

Calves bigger than his arse
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 07:29 PM
26

I have about, 50 houseplants now so I live in my peaceful little jungle with my kid and my cat and my fish and I'm just so content. Would absolutely recommend watching and helping things to grow and flourish, it's given me such a sense of accomplishment. My home life being so calm and happy has definitely made me wary of inviting crappy people into my life - I don't want to compromise my peace of mind! Enjoy your plant! There's nothing quite like eating food you've grown yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 01:37 AM
47

It's absolutely nuts that he went YEARS without knowing where his children spend their days 5 times a week.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 12:42 AM
11

They have a kid so at least one time
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 11:44 PM
30

Maybe she's holding his hernia in for him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 11:43 PM
83

He doesn't respect you girl. You know it already.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 11:33 PM
19

Granddaughter issues
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 09:06 PM
31

Apparently they met at the bar she worked at, but I mean... I'm 26 and 20 year olds are kids to me. By the time I'm 65 I bet they look and act like babies in my eyes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 08:44 PM
3

Yeah more painful and heavier periods. I'd rather not do that every month!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 06:17 PM
1

Yeah mine is the madame glamour one, I didn't know that though! Decent. I'll look out for the diamonds one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 12:17 AM
4

Have a look on ebay! Another cheaper one I like is the Lidl one, I think it's called Suddenly. I bought it when I was out and on my way somewhere and I've bought it a few times since. It's like £3.99. The bottle looks awful of course but the scent is actually really nice and it lasts a decent time especially for the price.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 12:05 AM
2

I LOVE perfume. Trying to avoid reading everyone else's comments on this because it gets expensive lol. Gucci - Bamboo Kate Spade - In Full Bloom (absolute favourite) Marc Jacobs - Honey Jimmy Choo - don't know the name, I think it's just 'Jimmy Choo' but the bottle looks a bit like a hand grenade (it was a gift, sorry) I've also got a few Yardley, Body Shop and Avon (might just be UK, I've no idea tbh) eau de toilettes that are honestly beautiful and they're my everyday ones.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 11:54 PM
2

Yeah I 100% agree and definitely a good idea to get the hang of it before pregnancy is even a remote possibility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 11:44 PM
2

Yeah that makes sense, I guess what I meant was the initial but of trying to place the symptoms will be a bit trickier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 11:38 PM
7

My cycles are still really irregular since using hormonal contraception so I don't know if it would be that reliable but it's worth keeping an eye out for stuff because I'm not sexually active at the moment anyway. Then maybe by the time I am I'll have it down to a fine art. That's a really good idea, thanks! I will look into the other stuff but I also would like to hear first hand experience from women who've used them - something I only did before once my BC had started playing up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 11:18 PM
11

I'm currently single and not sleeping with anyone, and highly doubt I will be sexually active any time soon but I wanna ask about birth control - hormonal birth control messes me up, it wrecks my cycles and my moods and I'd rather stay off it for the rest of my life. I also tried a copper IUD and it didn't work for me either. I don't want my life/mood/health altered by BC. I'm happy to use condoms and wouldn't have sex with a man who refused to use one BUT I totally agree with using 2 forms of b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 10:48 PM
375

She needs to buy her own place and never tell him where it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 10:12 PM
40

Delete tinder until you're meh about men's attention. Take some time to work on yourself and you'll feel much more confident dating. I've been single for over 2 years and I needed that time to appreciate being single. If I get into a relationship now it'll be because the man enhances my already great life, not because I'm looking to fill a void in the hope a man completes me, which is what I was subconsciously doing when I was younger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 08:16 PM
18

This is almost physically painful to read. He's taken so much from her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 06:12 PM
40

I will NEVER lend a man money again. They shouldn't even ask. If you weren't there, what would they do? Cool, they can do that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 05:38 PM
28

Someone probably asked in the comments. Before addressing his behaviour they've got to make sure it's not her fault! Of course!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 09:02 AM
6

He knows already, he just doesn't care. Because women will put up with it. Don't be that women any more. If he's the type to call you a bitch after you break up, he will, regardless of what you do beforehand. If anything he'll use the lists as an example of how "crazy" and "demanding" you were. He will show people those lists. Don't put yourself through it. It's not your job to fix him. Take care of YOU and move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 02:34 AM
7

Idk I used to check my ex's phone and never found anything at all even slightly suspicious but it turned out he was cheating on me anyway, he was just good at getting rid of the evidence. I think in future if I feel like I need to check a man's phone I'd just cool things off. I can see checking once or twice but if it ever got like before when I was checking at least once a week, I'd be done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 12:17 AM
26

Literally never a surprise though
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 10:16 PM
7

I've done this in relationships. It doesn't work. Take a look at the list of what bothers you, compare that list of how shitty he is to your list of how you'd like to be treated, and then set yourself free. If he tries to get you back, block him and then read the lists again. Over and over and over. In 6 months you won't regret leaving him one jot, I promise you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 05:14 PM
3

Staying at home with my son, watching a film, catching up on housework after working/studying all week. A normal Friday for me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 11:12 PM
15

My ex stole the headphones my brother bought me for Christmas. Still irritates me whenever something reminds me of it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 12:02 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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