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die_igel Archive

View 0 posts and 68 comments by die_igel on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Don't start a fight for that reason. It's childish. It's a different story if he's physically threatening you or someone you care about. You need to find a way to express your feelings without sounding like you're whining. Oftentimes if someone says something to me directly that's hurtful, unhelpful, unproductive, or seemingly-designed to provoke me, I might respond calmly with, "Why did you think it was (funny/helpful/productive/etc.) to say that?" You just sort of have to point out the elephan…
/r/seduction08/11/13 11:48 PM
3

Do whatever you want. I don't think it matters that much, with the caveat that if you take too long she will take it as a sign of disinterest and you'll lose attraction. Rather than thinking about it as a demonstration of your interest (or over-interest, perhaps, if that's your worry), it's probably more productive to think of it as a way of testing her interest. If you text her that night and she replies immediately that's a strong IOI. The longer it takes her to reply the weaker the IOI. I thi…
/r/seduction28/10/13 12:35 AM
1

Something's amiss with your profile. I'm on OKC and only occasionally message women. My response rate is about 60%. I get 5-10 messages per week from women and reply to about 20% of them. The "dot" on my profile is always red (replies very selectively) or yellow (replied selectively). If I want I can arrange a week full of OKC dates. I did this a few weeks ago.
/r/seduction28/10/13 12:28 AM
1

It depends on the situation, but if we're talking about a situation where they seem annoyed then I usually take is as a sign that She feels something is wrong or otherwise "off" She doesn't feel "safe" saying what she's feeling for whatever reason She likely wants you to demonstrate genuine interest or openness to the conversation before the conversation starts, which will make her feel safer saying what she's thinking. Assuming you want to find out what's really going on, I might say something …
/r/seduction27/10/13 01:40 AM
1

shrug I'm not sure what you're looking for. Hope you get it, whatever it is!
/r/seduction25/10/13 06:44 AM
1

I hang out with plenty of "alpha males." They're not assholes, though. If you want a fictional version of an alpha male who aren't assholes, look at someone like President Bartlett on the West Wing. If someone is being an asshole I wonder what they're trying to prove. Hey, congrats! You can say shitty things. Clap clap clap.
/r/seduction25/10/13 03:02 AM
1

Uh, well, your friends sound like self-absorbed assholes. That answer is completely unhelpful. They either know this and are being dicks or they don't and are incompetent.
/r/seduction25/10/13 01:03 AM
1

I'll trust what you're saying makes sense to you and won't debate it, but for me it's confusing when you start with "I've never had a negative attitude about not being good at seduction" and end with "I feel invisible. Or worse, ostracized." The fact that other people's actions make you feel that way, to me, says you see those actions as an indictment of you and not merely your actions. "Ostracized," in particular, is a very strong word. It implies otherness, alienation, scorn, etc. Anyhow, I do…
/r/seduction25/10/13 12:33 AM
1

I'm a teacher by profession so I think everything you just said is total horseshit. :D Funnily enough, this is directly related to what I'm trying to say. Let's talk about math. Excluding folks with certain learning disabilities or other handicaps, I don't think some people are born "good" at math and others born "bad" at math. Of course I do think there are natural differentials in skill and I agree that not everyone will be able to be a world-class mathematician anymore than everyone could be …
/r/seduction24/10/13 11:44 PM
1

You didn't answer my question. :) I don't know that I would give that advice. I'd need more context. In any case, I'd probably never write that out because it's cliché and me writing it out would be redundant. Exhibit A: the fact that you anticipated the advice. My point had less to do with PUA. It seems like you think those things constitute high value when in fact they're only signifiers of high value—especially the GPA an "party frat" bits—and only signifiers to a handful of people to boot.
/r/seduction24/10/13 06:49 PM
1

Oh no! Sorry. That wasn't the reaction I was looking to create. Let me put it this way. It's a fact that you got a 4.0 GPA in college lived in a party frat consider your career successful Those are facts and they're not mine or anyone else's to take away. They are also signifiers of who you are. Don't confuse the smoke with the fire, though. You are not your GPA. You are not your lifestyle. Those things don't "make" you high value and they definitely don't entitle you to anything. There's a way …
/r/seduction23/10/13 11:23 PM
1

Thanks! Let me know how it goes. And remember: just because a thing repulses you doesn't mean it's repulsive.
/r/seduction23/10/13 11:03 PM
1

It just shows that I interact (and act) like someone of high value. I don't think this is true. If you told me you had a 4.0 college GPA and lived in a party frat I'd wonder (a) why you were telling me this and (b) what it says about your peers that you'd consider this a sign of "high value." By proxy I'd think you were overcompensating because nobody of high value cares about those things. Plenty of friends from my college had published academic papers or research by the time they graduated. Th…
/r/seduction23/10/13 06:09 PM
1

I guess if you define "entitlement" as that mechanism then you can say whatever you'd like! :P The word itself means something in particular, though, and for the purpose of being understood I'd suggest picking a different word. Maybe "internalization" or something like that. I don't know. But what you're describing isn't really entitlement. The examples you pose where a man is not entitled to a woman because you have done nothing for her is irrelevant considering women want a man that exudes con…
/r/seduction23/10/13 05:53 PM
6

Sorry, but how do any of things add value to the life of any woman you're interested in?
/r/seduction23/10/13 05:32 AM
7

I'll grant that this response might just be me overreacting to the word "entitlement," which is used in a funny way here. Anyhow, here is my original unedited comment... I disagree very strongly, although this goes against most PUA advice I've read. I believe "entitlement" is a crutch in the sense that it's a convenient fiction which enables people to act more audaciously and be more resilient in the face of rejection. However, it has other, more negative effects, too. Convenient fictions are so…
/r/seduction23/10/13 05:31 AM
1

Sure. It's not bad per se, but talking about your feelings/emotions is tough. It's especially tough when you're talking about them as they're happening. Usually when you're happy/sad/angry/frustrated, those emotions govern big parts of your actions and reactions. Everyone's emotions come entangled with so many other things. Why am I feeling this? Who is responsible? Why are they feeling that? To what extent am I responsible? Do I know what they're feeling or am I guessing? How do I know? etc. et…
/r/seduction23/10/13 05:15 AM
2

Vulnerability reciprocates vulnerability. Learn how to be vulnerable around other people and they'll open up. Talk less about facts—times, places, dates, actions, etc.—and more about feelings and impact. Don't worry about whether conversations are requisitely "deep." Worry about whether they're honest, open, and expressing the truth of the matter. Expressing your feelings is tricky for some people. Learn how to say things like, "I'm sad," "I'm happy," "I'm excited," "I'm annoyed," etc. These are…
/r/seduction22/10/13 10:09 PM
1

I apologize if this seems pedantic, but there's no "should" or "shouldn't" in this situation. Purpose precedes action. Why comes before what. You're asking us what to do but not telling us what your purpose is. I suspect this is because you yourself don't know. :) For example, I'd meet her before hand and dump a big glass of water over her head if my purpose were to piss her off. And what do you mean by "better?" I meant, how would you feel if you were already doing something before the event so…
/r/seduction22/10/13 09:52 PM
1

How would you feel if you already had other, definite plans before the event? Would you regret not being able to see her? If not, you probably don't want to.
/r/seduction22/10/13 08:03 PM
3

If you want to see her before hand, do it. If you don't, don't. Anything beyond that is you complicating the situation. I'd probably just say (via email or whatever), "I don't think there will be any tension! See you there."
/r/seduction22/10/13 07:37 PM
2

Help with what? You're nervous. It's normal. You were probably nervous the first time you tried to ride a bike, too. Ask her out and be nervous about it. You'll be less nervous the 10th time you ask someone out and less nervous still the 100th time.
/r/seduction22/10/13 05:04 AM
1

There's no such thing as a "slow thinker." Everyone thinks fast and slow. What you associate with "slow thinking" is likely the rational, structured part of your thought. Your job isn't to "think more quickly." That's not what witty people are doing, anyhow. Instead they've trained (sometimes deliberately, sometimes not) the part of their brain that thinks quickly to have good default habits. The "slow" part of your brain is going to be on full alert when you're in a strange or unfamiliar situat…
/r/seduction22/10/13 01:50 AM
1

What are you afraid of? Name it first—simply and clearly—and only then decide if it's worth fearing. When anything, from the meanest thing upwards, is attractive or serviceable or an object of affection, remember always to say to yourself, 'What is its nature?' If you are fond of a jug, say you are fond of a jug; then you will not be disturbed if it be broken. If you kiss your child or your wife, say to yourself that you are kissing a human being, for then if death strikes it you will not be dis…
/r/seduction22/10/13 01:34 AM
2

"Well that's not fair—I haven't heard about you. What's your name?"
/r/seduction21/10/13 07:58 AM
1

You need to provide more context. You should also clarify what you mean by "upset," which might range anywhere from annoyed to angry. What did he do that was "out of line?" If he said something inappropriate or was obviously trying to demean you, that girl, or any of your other friends then you should do what you think is right. How you respond depends entirely on the situation. If he directly insulted one of your friends, for example, getting angry wouldn't be inappropriate. If he said somethin…
/r/seduction21/10/13 02:45 AM
3

Personally I'd get myself into the right mindset. If you idea of "success" is that you'll be attracting women left and right or even a few, well, you're probably setting yourself up for failure. Instead, I'd define success as setting the baseline for all future evenings. Think of this more like a career—on any given day you may be doing your job well or poorly, but your overall success at your career isn't determined by any of those days individually. It's the cumulative effect of trying to get …
/r/seduction19/10/13 02:33 AM
1

I think it depends a lot less on the timing and more on the other person. You have to have a sense of whether they'd be receptive to it or not. If she seems exuberant and animated then I imagine she'd be more inclined to do it. If she seems reserved—for example, you tried to greet her with a hug but she rebuffed you—then it's probably not going to work. There are many ways you can package it, too. You could make it jokey, flirty, sincere, etc. Generally you'd want to mirror whatever energy she w…
/r/seduction17/10/13 09:21 AM
1

I'm sure if you just grab at her she'll be surprised and recoil—your hands are cold and that's surprising! Maybe you could put an ice cube down her shirt while you're at it. :P How about this: "My fingertips are cold. Help me warm them. ;)"
/r/seduction16/10/13 06:38 PM
1

Re-reading my comment I think I see where I tend to diverge from the usual PUA approach (or at least attitude). We all have some kind of "imaginary world" in our head, filled with stories big and small about other people's motivations and their relationship to you. The PUA approach is to get her to join you in your imaginary world while simultaneously preventing her from dragging you into hers. Sometimes you get AMOG-type situations where there's a risk of both of you being pulled into some thir…
/r/seduction15/10/13 09:27 PM
1

Sure, I didn't mean to generalize. I'm not a PUA and don't associate with the PUA community. I was just trying to paint a particular scenario. And, well, I wasn't imagining the OP at a bar. I think he said he was at a party? Since he's a PhD student and she's a law student I was imagining the kind of party where that sort of intellectual screening wouldn't seem totally out of place, e.g., a house party put on by mutual friends. It could also just be an obnoxious habit of hers that she'd deploy i…
/r/seduction15/10/13 08:00 AM
1

That's one possibility, but I think there are others. See my comment above. Her behavior is also consistent with a woman looking for an intelligent man who sees though the game she's playing and not necessarily about the usual "alpha male" tropes. For example, imagine if a PUA passed the first test and then she slowly started upping the intellectual rigor until the typical PUA couldn't keep up. In that world, the OP failed the first test but might've passed the next three, whereas a PUA might've…
/r/seduction15/10/13 06:42 AM
1

Hey, let's paint a world where she's not the Evil Bitch™. She's a law student. Maybe she's a law student at a top law school. That means she's smart. As a woman, especially an attractive woman, she's used to being judged on her appearance rather than her intelligence. Because she's intelligent she sees when this is happening and sees that it has given her advantages, but part of her resents it. She can use it and she knows she'd be better off if she did use it, but it feels like a compromise. Sh…
/r/seduction15/10/13 06:28 AM
2

If you want intelligent, ambitious women then law school is a great place to find them. This woman just sounds like an asshole. I'm sure she'd be an asshole if she were a medical student or an English PhD or anything else.
/r/seduction15/10/13 05:54 AM
1

Edit I read some of your other comments and this one was too harsh. I do agree that the right mindset to have is one of being fun and light-hearted, but saying that "PhD in engineering is boring as hell to tell someone" is too strong a statement to make. I think it's possible to answer honestly and in a way that make the conversation more fun. IMO, the real goal should be to find a way to do that, not hide the fact that one is getting an engineering PhD because it's per se boring. For example, I…
/r/seduction15/10/13 05:46 AM
6

I don't like this response because you're still playing to her script. She's trying to pick a fight. If you're living inside the fight, this is a definitely better response than simply contradicting her as the OP proposed, but fundamentally you should be trying to "Aikido" her and avoid the debate entirely.
/r/seduction15/10/13 05:41 AM
12

And again, she totally caught me off guard. My confidence was gone. I should have said something like "Are you kidding me? Law is fucking boring." No, I wouldn't do this. I wish I could draw a picture. I'll try with words... Imagine she's playing a game or she's a troll on Reddit. You can't beat a troll by arguing with them. She's not dumb and is expecting one of two responses: he'll take what I say or he'll push back. Either way she gets to have her fun. The key thing to understand is that she …
/r/seduction15/10/13 05:35 AM
1

This is a silly conversation. That's not really what I was saying, but it doesn't seem productive to rebut. You win.
/r/seduction15/10/13 04:08 AM
1

I think it depends on the woman and the context. What are you even arguing about?
/r/seduction15/10/13 02:45 AM
1

Sorry, when the OP said "plenty of jokes" I took that to mean "plenty of funny jokes." I don't think blurting out non sequiturs is a good strategy. :P
/r/seduction15/10/13 02:03 AM
2

Why not? If that's really your sense of humor and you're good at using it then telling that sort of joke is a great qualifier. You'll quickly find out who shares your sense of humor and who doesn't. If someone doesn't like my sense of humor it's not going to last long, regardless.
/r/seduction13/10/13 10:40 PM
1

Unless you have pre-existing rapport where that kind of text carries additional context to make it more light-hearted, I'd just ignore it. There's no upside in responding; it seems like a total waste of time to engage. As a text, it's fundamentally selfish and rude. It's one thing if a person accidentally disrespects your time. It's entirely another if they overtly tell you their time is worth more than yours. The only response I might send back is something like, "I'll pass. Thanks."
/r/seduction07/10/13 11:59 PM
121

Warning: My comment is long and I didn't have time to edit it. I think it's worthwhile, however, and would love feedback. The one of this video illustrates something I don't like about how most PUAs approach these problems. I agree with the core problem the person describes, but disagree the explanation and solution ("you're pathetic, you're mindfucking yourself, etc. etc. and you should stop"). I'd like to flip this video's approach around and look at the same problem from another angle. I'm go…
/r/seduction06/10/13 11:14 PM
1

"Authentic" is such a tricky word. I don't like using it because it means so many things to so many people. It's one of those words you can use to explain something and everything thinks they understand, but they don't. After all, are there any people who would ever consciously act inauthentically? So, let me try to explain the "lesson" I think one ought to take from my anecdote by way of metaphor. I'm more-or-less stealing this wholesale from Goffman's The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life,…
/r/seduction06/10/13 02:03 AM
1

If your goal is to get her to hang out then ask her to hang out.
/r/seduction03/10/13 08:27 AM
2

This post is confusing several things. The basic argument is this: If a man has cultivated the "dark triad" personality traits then he will appear more attractive to women (at least initially). On one level this is almost a tautology. Someone who is narcissistic, manipulative, and has weak emotional responses will of course do well if they decide to play The Game. So, fine, up until the last two paragraphs the post justifies this argument in terms of typical PUA lingo. It then makes a leap in th…
/r/seduction02/10/13 07:11 AM
1

That you believe this will happen prevents you from progressing in your relationship with her. Perversely, you will take the fact that you didn't progress in your relationship with her as evidence that the story you made up is true.
/r/seduction01/10/13 05:51 AM
1

Get out of her head, man. You don't know that she was trying to "make you feel jealous." The world doesn't revolve around you and she doesn't owe you her attraction. She might have been genuinely attracted to him. She might have been doing it just to be polite. She might have been doing it because she was bored and a bit of a sadist and enjoyed teasing that guy with something he could never have. She might have a neurological disorder which forces her to give her undivided attention to whatever …
/r/seduction01/10/13 05:50 AM
1

So, I want to flip this around. You might not like it. Are you a nice guy? That's good if you are. But I'm going to paint a possible world where the other guy was being genial and you were being a dick. I'm doing this, hopefully, to let you see how your approach can be driven by your desire to to "be nice" rather than feeling like you have to exert some inhuman effort and wrest "control" of the "frame." It goes like this. Imagine that the woman in question was just as bored as you were and was t…
/r/seduction01/10/13 05:44 AM
1

Right, that's fair. The OP is becoming less attractive because he's either oblivious and doesn't see what's happening, passive and does see but isn't doing anything about it, or selfish. In this case it seems like a mix between the latter two—he saw what was happening and retreated into his own little world, leaving her high and dry with someone who is probably as boring to her as he was to the OP. In this scenario it's the OP that's being the dick. Imagine if the woman was thinking to herself, …
/r/seduction01/10/13 05:34 AM
1

That's one solution. It might work given your previous interactions with her. For most people that would appear strange and reactive. Depending on the woman, too, she might just consider it rude. Here's some random old dude who is monopolizing the conversation. Humiliating the guy (or her, perhaps) would be just as rude. For example, if it were an old grandpa type, it'd just be plain rude. You wouldn't be like, "Cya grandpa. We're done with you and your lame stories." You want a world where you …
/r/seduction01/10/13 05:31 AM
2

Honestly, I think that's an ugly thought. Maybe she's thinking, "This guy is boring, but the person I'm with has totally checked out. Ugh, now I'm stuck with two boring guys." As long as we're penning stories about what's going on inside her head... :D
/r/seduction01/10/13 03:16 AM
1

They're not aliens, they're just people. They have the same hopes, desires, fears, and aspirations as anyone else. If you own your passion without shame I think you'll find yourself attracting the kind of women you're attracted to.
/r/seduction01/10/13 03:14 AM
3

I think that's a too-specific lesson. The lesson, I think, is to not let someone else hijack the frame even if it feels like the "polite" thing to do. For example, I might be inclined to text her while this guy was yapping and say something clever/funny/suggestive/etc. I don't like interrupting people in general, but I have (for example) opened up the Notes app or whatever, typed something like "How about we stop talking to this guy and you and I go make out?", and handed it to her. You have to …
/r/seduction01/10/13 02:48 AM
3

Rubbish. There are tons of women who don't want the "hotshot with a porsche and a mansion." They want the ambitious, hard-working man who loves helping other people and pursues that with all his passion. I'm a teacher—trust me. ;) Perhaps it's your ideas about women that are confounding you, not their ideas about you.
/r/seduction01/10/13 02:40 AM
1

I don't like that question. Imagine you're the recipient. You have no idea what the follow-up question will be. "I don't really have plans, but if I tell him that who knows what he'll ask?" You're removing the option for her to let you down gently, e.g., by making up some other plan. I think it's fine to coordinate schedules, especially after you've seen each other for a bit. For example, I might tell someone at the start of the week, "Hey, I'm currently free this week on Wednesday, Thursday, an…
/r/seduction01/10/13 02:35 AM
9

Forget about whether it's ok for an "alpha male" to be mad. The idea of what (you think) an alpha male is or isn't will confuse the issue. Also, let's use the word "angry" rather than mad. Instead, ask yourself, when do you feel justified in being angry? Would you be angry if someone robbed your mother? Would you be angry if someone came up to your date and said something incredibly offensive? Would you be angry if someone cut you off in traffic? Would you be angry if the bus was 5 minutes late?…
/r/seduction01/10/13 02:28 AM
2

You didn't "fuck up." Stop being dramatic. You sent her a text. She didn't respond. There are a million reasons why she might've not responded, ranging from her dropping her cell in the toilet to her hating you so much she will murder you the next time you run into each other. Do you think either of those are likely? No? Then why do you think whatever story you're making up now is likely? Stop inventing stories. The only thing you actually know is that you sent a text and she didn't respond. Thi…
/r/seduction30/09/13 05:26 AM
1

You can also mention the text but not be confrontational about it. "Hey, I sent you a text yesterday to see if you wanted to study together for the upcoming text. Are you interested?"
/r/seduction30/09/13 05:06 AM
2

This is a bad text. First, you're basically asking her to make small talk. Yawn, boring. I personally hate it when a woman texts me a question like "Hey, how are you?" I either have to give an elaborate answer, which makes her text a little inconsiderate, or seem cold by answering as I could in polite company: "I'm good. How are you?" If I want to direct the conversation to a better place, I might respond more pointedly by acknowledging that they're just sending me a no-context text as a way to …
/r/seduction30/09/13 05:03 AM
3

I would also add, although many PUA "guides" recommend getting a number and moving on, I think it's important to leave some kind of impression. It doesn't have to be much. It could be something you said, something you were wearing, or anything else. When you text her, you want her to remember not just the moment of talking with you, but the feeling she had at that moment. For example, let's say you had some ridiculous conversation about your favorite birds. Yours is the ostrich and hers is the p…
/r/seduction30/09/13 04:53 AM
3

Stoicism is not about repressing your emotions. Stoicism is about facing your emotions as they are, without denying them or giving them undue weight.
/r/seduction30/09/13 04:39 AM
4

So, here you are on /r/seduction asking this question. You've thought about it for some time. You've spent lots of time processing it. You might've asked other folks for advice. Most likely you've gotten a whole spectrum of responses from "Just do it" to "Pfft, shit test!" My advice is this. Think back to the very second you received that message. Before you had time to think about it, what was your impulse? What was that glimmer of pre-conscious action? I'd just do that. Why? If she finds your …
/r/seduction29/09/13 12:32 AM
5

That sounds really patronizing, honestly. She's not presenting a problem to be solved. It'd be better to say something like, "I can't imagine that. I have no idea how I'd feel in the moment, let alone how I'd handle it over time. That must have been really hard." Or, if you want to talk about how strong she is, don't say "You're stronger for having experienced it," as if you know. Rather, say something like, "I can't imagine the strength you needed to handle that," which is closer to the truth a…
/r/seduction29/09/13 12:16 AM
1

This might sound counter-intuitive, but it's not about "giving" her anything. Assuming you're being sincere, the best response lets her know you really, truly heard her story. She'll know you really, truly heard her story when you tell her how the fact that she told impacted you. That's what you should tell her. This makes most men uncomfortable, but it's how you build deep interpersonal connections. Also, you say she's a "chipper girl," but what if you have it backwards? What if being chipper i…
/r/seduction29/09/13 12:09 AM
1

Your comment is a little confusing. You start off talking about your appearance, but end by talking about your demeanor. I'll leave you with this (hopefully relevant) clip from Game of Thrones: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ASZsMRzqhs
/r/seduction28/09/13 11:44 PM
3

Taking your first example, most women, especially younger women, rightfully feel vulnerable in this situation. Try to imagine it from her perspective and keep in mind that if they're not as inexperienced as you then they're at least as nervous. "Oh my gosh, I didn't expect this to be happening. Do I want this to happen? Am I supposed to want this or is it too soon? Will I regret this? Am I a slut for doing this? Will I feel ashamed tomorrow? What kind of person does this?" Those are probably som…
/r/seduction28/09/13 07:13 AM
7

Hypothesis It is weird/creepy in those situations to ask a girl for her number. Experiment Ask her for her number and she if she reacts as if it were weird/creepy. Possible outcomes She doesn't think it's weird/creepy and eagerly gives you her number—hypothesis falsified. Yay! A number! She doesn't give you your number. This does not mean it was weird/creepy, at least not until you rule out other possibilities, e.g., it turns out a friend wrote "my breath smells like dog food" on your forehead w…
/r/seduction28/09/13 06:38 AM
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