TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

dimsummer- Archive

View 2 posts and 55 comments by dimsummer- on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

Same 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 12:16 PM
32

This sounds like a dream honestly. Are you hiring? Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 12:58 PM
39

scrodacity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 02:50 AM
32

And you know they want at least three -- physical touch, words of affirmation (free therapy), acts of service (housework/childrearing). Many will want quality time and gifts too. But if we want anything other than physical touch we're needy lmfao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 02:57 PM
23

I didn't respond before blocking, but if I had it would be something like this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 02:54 PM
30

I saw the post telling us to delete our dating apps right after posting this and was like, ok this is a sign. Haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 02:53 PM
23

Yep!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 02:51 PM
28

Honestly FDS standards aren't even that high in my opinion. Wanting someone who can take care of themselves, treat others with respect and can/wants to take care of their loved ones is not a huge ask. I do these things so why wouldn't I want a partner who is on my level? It's crazy how many men and women think this is some unattainable standard...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 12:50 PM
84

Lol thank you I needed to see this. I’ve never met a HVM on a dating app and all my friends whose partners seem HV met them in real life. There is no reason for me to be on the apps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 12:44 PM
28

Yes this is exactly what I was trying to get at, thank you for explaining it so well!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 10:40 AM
33

I get what you're saying, but honestly I disagree. Yes, every woman deserves to be treated with respect. Yes, you are absolutely worthy of HV treatment and that isn't contingent on whether you are a mother or not. However, it is a fact that our reproductive capabilities put us at increased risk, even childfree women, and I think recognising that is important. Any time a woman has sex with a man, she bears most if not all of the risk of getting pregnant. Birth control can fail, condoms can fail, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 09:35 AM
30

There’s no such thing as a “needy” person, just people with unmet needs. This all day
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 02:18 PM
16

I agree with this. It also happens in reverse, where a man will constantly compliment you on being so 'independent'. What this usually means is: they think they don't have to support you financially or emotionally, but they will get upset/run away when you express any opinions or desires that challenge their own. A HVM can and should value independence in a woman, of course, but watch out for the guys who harp on it or say it's their favourite thing about you. A HVM who values your independence …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 02:18 PM
68

They just want to get to the sex. You know those are the type of men who don't do foreplay either. I can't fathom it. Anticipation and uncertainty makes it so much more fun.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 01:46 PM
361

I agree. I've always found seduction to be so hot. A bit of eye contact, a flirty look, witty banter... etc. I feel like that's been totally lost these days with online dating and porn, everything is so obvious now. At one point I was looking for something casual on dating apps (way before I found FDS lol) and 90% of profiles sent a first message saying 'wanna hook up tonight'/'wanna come to mine right now' or something equally uninspired. They couldn't fathom that I still wanted the flirting an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 07:46 AM
164

This. Men are the biggest victims I've ever seen. And they expect women to fix everything. You know what a woman does when she feels victimised? She tries to fix things herself (or seeks help from other women) because she knows she can't rely on men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 10:22 AM
252

I keep seeing the Instagram feminists saying things like 'men are just as victimised by the patriarchy as women' and 'let's let men feel their feelings~' My ex would cry after he cheated on me. My father would cry after screaming at me. Sure, the crying isn't the problem there. But imo men need to show less emotion because more often than not they express emotion through anger. And then they expect women to be there to process their fucking feelings. Gtfo with that shit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 10:20 AM
6

Right!!! Like ok, good?! Regardless of the reason, I don’t want to fuck someone who doesn’t wanna fuck me. Absolutely fine and happens all the time, and I’m grateful for him not wasting my time. yet for men rejection is THE WORST POSSIBLE OUTCOME of a date (definitely not like murder or rape or whatever /s )
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 09:30 PM
7

Men are obsessed with “the wall” in general bc it does not exist and if it did, it would apply to men not women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 09:26 PM
10

100% - men who are obsessed with their own age are also obessesed with yours whether they let it show or not
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 09:25 PM
97

You are 100% correct. I'm 29 so I'm similarly still quite young but no longer in that 18-24 that seems to be touted as the be-all end-all of youth for women. I have only been in three long-term relationships with men but all were 5-10 years older than me and all of them made snide remarks about my age, either in the vein of 'you're so young you don't know as much as I do so just do what I say' or 'you're so young you're not like those older women I usually date'. Both designed to cut the woman d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 03:22 PM
2

I was going to suggest the same thing. It would be interesting to have a discussion on compulsive heterosexuality as well as I think the same media narratives that push women to accept LVM also contribute to comphet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 09:16 AM
2

Thought discipline - never heard this phrase before but I love it. I think a longer post on this or any resources you have would be fantastic. I found this article after a quick Google and it's useful but not focused on dating or FDS principles: https://havingtime.com/mind-control-how-to-discipline-your-thoughts/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 05:09 PM
9

Thank you <3 I feel liberated to be honest - I'm not sure I want to date again ever, but if and when I do, I think I'll be much more secure in my boundaries and not ignoring red flags. The 'jokes' were the first red flag and they did bother me a lot, but I thought 'well it's one thing.' And you can see how that turned out. So I feel great tbh! Best I've felt in years!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 05:05 PM
45

Also what is with these men that refuse to hear about their partner's mental health struggles but expect us to be their free therapist. I had the worst year of my life in 2020 (lockdown, relatives dying, shit at work, boyfriend cheating) and all he said was that I should go to therapy because 'I wasn't fun anymore' and he 'didn't enjoy being around me'. Yet I was supposed to listen for hours to all his problems and coddle him until he felt better...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 01:52 PM
60

This feels like a cathartic exercise and I'd like to do my own. I also want to preface it by saying I'm only a month out from the breakup but doing really really well - the silver lining of having a shitty relationship is that everything feels easier once it ends... I should have left when you made sexist and racist 'jokes' I should have left when you responded to my discomfort around said 'jokes' by saying they were funny because you don't actually think that way (they weren't funny) I should h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 01:50 PM
41

Absolutely. I can look back at my past self and recognise her mistakes without blaming her. I recognise why she made the choices she did and I recognise that going forward I can do things differently. One can be compassionate toward one’s past self while still learning from her mistakes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 09:39 PM
53

Yes absolutely, and frankly taking accountability can be a beautiful, liberating thing. There is so much we can’t change about other people (men lol) so to recognise and take charge of the things we that we can feels amazing. Not to mention the fact that growth is impossible without recognising our faults in the first place. That said, I do feel for the women who aren’t there quite yet. We are bombarded with so many confusing messages about what is and isn’t ok, what we should and shouldn’t do. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 09:33 PM
123

You can lead a pickme to FDS but you can’t make her drink. Honestly as a former pickme who is still struggling to change her mindset completely - they have to want to change their mindset for themselves, you can’t do it for them. I found FDS when I was still in my last relationship with a LVM and even though everything I read resonated, I would still think “well my boyfriend does this low value thing but he’s different” or “well maybe I do this pick me thing sometimes but it’s different because …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 07:37 PM
47

Lol this was me until a month ago. I feel silly because I’ve been having sex for the last 15 years but literally never put my own pleasure first until now. I was trying so hard to be “sex positive” and “kink positive” etc etc etc and I always centred the man. Never again 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 07:15 PM
226

I'm putting more energy into work, as well as my fitness and skincare regimes, and eating better (more plants, less processed shit). Also, this might be TMI, but I'm leveling up my sex life... with myself! I've realised that I've always treated sex with men as a performance or a way to get them to like me, and never really thought about my own pleasure. So I've been spending a lot of time with myself recently and having a lot of fun :) it's a level up for me because it's the first time I've been…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 03:25 PM
2

I love this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 07:47 AM
56

I agree and I also think a lot of these guys want someone who is 'independent' and 'can support herself' etc... during the dating phase. But then they want this person to give up her entire career to take care of them once married. They want to have their cake and eat it too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 10:25 AM
10

I don’t think it’s anything to do with them, I think we as women are conditioned to expect different things from partners vs platonic friends. And perhaps the fact that we as women (less so than men but it’s still there) are conditioned to see other women as threats. Example. Obviously we expect a platonic friend to date and sleep with other women, and if they confide in us that such and such hookup wasn’t very good for x or y reason, we might feel superior to that woman. Or if one of our male f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 11:22 PM
92

Yeah I feel you, I like tall muscular men with big dicks. I'd rather be alone than with someone I'm not attracted to and I'm perfectly happy being single forever if I never find one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 11:30 AM
171

I was going to bring this up. There are countless stories of women getting boob jobs, butt lifts, lipo, nose jobs, etc to be more attractive to men (some of course do it for themselves but many do it either for a male partner or to be more attractive to men in general). (Edit - even freaking labiaplasty is a thing now....) Also, if a man says he's a boob guy or an ass guy or whatever no one gets angry at him. And those things don't meaningfully change the sexual experience for them. Meanwhile, i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 11:29 AM
91

Ugh the entitlement. I can understand *asking* who pays but normally the tenant pays their own council tax unless all bills are included in rent. Glad you don't have to give him the room. Also, can I come live with you? lol (unless...)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 12:03 PM
83

That's really interesting. I can only speak for myself, but in my case my ex pushed the idea because he wanted to (and already did) sleep with other people. I hesitantly accepted because my needs weren't being met and I hoped poly would fix it (lol). But every time I went out with someone new, I just felt emptier tbh. I've come to realise that what I need to be fulfilled is a strong sense of self, a good group of friends and MAYBE one (1) partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 04:01 PM
153

I agree with this, all the poly people I know will say 'you can't expect one person to fulfill all your needs' but they end up expecting two or three or four people to fulfill all their needs. I know quite a few women who are huge advocates for poly as well as men. I was, myself, because acknowledging that poly was damaging would have meant that 1) my relationship wasn't perfect and 2) I wasn't as 'cool' or 'woke' as I wanted to be. > What you need is yourself and the ability to grow as a person…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 03:57 PM
59

I know it's recommended all the time but 'Why does he do that' by Lundy Bancroft really opened my eyes. My ex was never physically abusive so I didn't think that book would apply to me. But Bancroft talks a lot about narcissistic abuse, emotional abuse and codependency too. I found it useful to read, as learning about all the different types of abuse and abusers made it easier to pinpoint what kinds of abuse I was subject to and (hopefully) easier to recognise in the future. It also helped me re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 03:52 PM
14

Yes, I had this experience as well. LVM will grasp at any straws they can to make themselves seem like the good guy and to absolve themselves of any fault. When my ex cheated, it was my fault because 'I thought you'd be okay with it since you're okay with me having female friends.' When he didn't give me emotional support, it was my fault for being withdrawn. When he couldn't get me off, it was my fault for expecting too much. He had to make everything my fault so he could still be the good guy …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 11:56 AM
1

This is such a good insight. Explains a lot about why I wanted stability and my ex wanted novelty and “excitement”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 08:35 PM
7

Congratulations! I know it feels shit right now but you are so much better off without allowing anyone who mistreats you into your life. Prioritising yourself is such a demonstration of strength, you will be able to do so much more than you could have if you were still shackled to this person. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 07:23 PM
35

What the fuck. I shouldn't be surprised considering this is the organisation thatcovered up abuse allegations against its senior staff. But still, what the fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 05:04 PM
29

I think I found the panel in four parts on Youtube but haven't watched it all yet so haven't found this exact exchange. Watching now so will update if I do. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SE-T9aXEG4E https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrgHTq6kgc https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o\_3sLMEIKW0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpoOs-ahdcc
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 01:59 PM
26

It's so frustrating because you also get straight men who only want to date bi women, because idk, they think we're nymphos or whatever. And that's not looked down on. But when women only want to date straight men (to protect ourselves, or for any other reason) it's hOmOpHoBic. Women just aren't allowed to have preferences, is what it comes down to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 10:54 AM
67

Thank you mods. I like this flair system a lot. I’ve only been commenting for a few days, but whenever I see a disciple or strategy coach post it’s nice to go through their post history and comments. I’ve had quite a few lightbulb moments that way
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 07:14 PM
1

There were absolutely red flags early on, some that I saw and chose to ignore, others that I'm only seeing now. I think one of the things that has made it so difficult for me to see is that he wasn't necessarily putting on a mask; his HV actions were genuine, he was 'performing' love as described in the OP, but he didn't realise it, if that makes sense? And then there were many LV traits that I noticed as the years went on. Some of the obvious red flags were: age gap (and lied about his age on t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 09:03 AM
50

This is true of getting into any relationship (for men). My ex actually told me “I decided I wanted a girlfriend, and you appeared. It’s like I manifested you” (Yes, it was a huge red flag, yes, I ignored it...)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 07:31 PM
42

Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 07:30 PM
164

So many dating subs targeted toward women will say 'focus on yourself so when you meet the one, you're attractive to them' This is the only sub I've found that says 'focus on yourself so you know if they are attractive to you'
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 06:22 PM
5

You are smarter than I am lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 06:19 PM
17

Nope, I’ve given him more already than I should’ve, he’s not getting any more effort from me. saving this so I can come back a reread in my moments of weakness
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 02:12 PM
11

This is how I feel too. My ex has tried to start a conversation with me a couple times since we broke up. I'm moving out of our shared house so I'm keeping our communication limited to things he needs to know move (ie my move-out date, pro-rated rent etc). I've been tempted to go down the laundry list of shit he put me through but it's not worth it. He'll be defensive or gaslight me and won't change anything. And I don't want to get back together with him ever so it doesn't matter to me if he ch…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 02:12 PM
42

This so eloquently sums up a lot of the thoughts I've had lately. I've been lurking FDS for months but this post is what finally prompted me to make a new account and comment. I just got out from a 4+ year long relationship with man who seemed HV but wasn't, and I now realise he was performing the entire first few years of our relationship. For the last 18 months, I've felt more and more like he doesn't know me at all, he doesn't see me, he has no interest in my life at all, and genuinely seemed…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 01:43 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter