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dinarvand88 Archive

View 0 posts and 82 comments by dinarvand88 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
16

I'm of Middle Eastern origin and I totally understand what you mean about diaspora men from my family's home country treating me worse than other men in the country I live in. It's so tiring how calculating men are. So many of them are selfish and lazy and only seem to care about themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/22 09:38 PM
1

Not to be a spoiler here, but there are plenty of HVM in poorer countries or among less privileged people, and plenty of LVM in weather countries. My fiance can't afford to spend hundreds of dollars on a dinner and at the same time meet other necessary obligations. But he drives 2.5 hours one way to visit me every weekend and is willing to commute about 1.5 hours one way and back every day in our new place so that I don't have to give up my new job after 1 year just to be where he is. (He cannot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/22 01:36 PM
78

Did your SO know you before going on a first date? Because I didn't think anyone would buy a 200 dollar bottle of wine for someone who is still mostly a stranger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/22 11:45 AM
20

Yup. Sounds familiar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 10:40 PM
-5

If we want women to keep asking questions as part of the leveling up process, showing them some compassion rather than shaming/ridiculing them might be less likely to discourage them from coming back to ask more questions and learn something. I say this as a woman who is an electrical engineer and have seen too many women shamed. That's all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 12:35 PM
-3

Maybe she's just asking a question and/or expressing her hope without necessarily participating in the behaviors you described. Asking a question in order to learn something isn't being a pickme.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 12:04 PM
30

Often true yes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 11:28 AM
57

THIS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 11:26 AM
12

Yes. THIS!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 06:33 PM
4

Yup
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 06:18 AM
12

Ugh. Yes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 05:56 AM
13

Thank you for giving me a lot to think about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/22 04:30 AM
32

Hahahaha gotta to use this line on a date lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 12:33 PM
55

Oh yes...the Iranian vs Arab thing. I go through that too as an Iranian-American.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 12:31 PM
9

Wow...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/22 05:37 AM
18

No, actually, I don't know if I'm attracted to a man within 5 seconds of meeting him. We'll all get old. I need to actually know him to see if we click. The only thing I can tell in 5 seconds is what he looks like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/22 06:15 AM
6

Thank you. You said what a lot of us were thinking but don't say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 08:14 PM
75

He killed her. Too many suspicious circumstances
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 02:07 PM
36

I was 14 when I was in eighth grade and 18 when I graduated high school. And yes, 22 and 30 are different life stages.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 11:26 PM
8

Not everyone commenting on reddit is from Europe (or Quebec for that matter). She was just asking a question to understand better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 11:21 PM
45

Aren't most eighth graders 14? She said she met him again at 22, and that would mean he was 30 and she was 22.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 11:19 PM
26

I'm not going to judge every person who has ever smoked weed, but in this particular case, he's buying weed with his 5 year old around and watching this. Is it really that appropriate to be doing something like this in front of a child who, unlike a baby or younger toddler, now has language skills and understands what is going on? Buying drugs in front of a child is appropriate? Not to mention that if he purchases it, smokes it, and drives while high, with this child in the backseat, she could g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 05:32 AM
26

Yes. This!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 09:50 PM
16

Thank you! Meeting them in person first may give some women a false sense of security.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 09:24 PM
11

Yeah I can't blame this guy either when he and his wife have a child on the way. Having said that, couldn't he leave an anonymous note or something?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 04:04 AM
19

Yes. That would be a better solution than this dude telling her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 04:02 AM
31

Thank you! That was brutally honest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/22 11:07 PM
21

My family's from a nation that is ruled by religious fundamentalists but is more culturally liberal than the government and some men will use that to gaslight a woman into having sex too soon because if she doesn't, she's some sort of "religious fundamentalist" or "government supporter" or "backwarded". When we know it's just some sort of manipulation to get easy access to her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 12:01 AM
31

Yes, All of this!!! Exactly my mindset too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 11:52 PM
41

This makes me angry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 12:13 PM
49

"Teach her a lesson"- exactly the kind of mentality Lundy Bancroft warned about in his book
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 02:22 PM
13

Wow. I hope she left him. Talk about lack of respect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 10:14 AM
23

This isn't specific to any one culture the idea that if a man isn't introducing you to his family within a certain time frame, to dump him. They can hide behind culture but the reality is that the parents don't like you and he wants someone who they will like. Of course, the parent will often be more likely to accept you the more similar you are to the parents in religion, culture, politics, or something else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 10:40 AM
12

Yes, it is a common thing in American culture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 01:14 PM
4

How long had you two dated before marriage, and were either of you young (aka early 20s) at the time of the marriage?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 01:11 PM
20

Understood. I'm just responding to the comments that act as though men kept a perfect mask on and then the abuse magically "showed up". I doubt it because PTSD over a car accident will show itself very quickly and many, many men gaslight and react poorly to it. An early bellweather of things to come. At some point the ex-bride had to be riding in a car with the ex-groom way before engagement and I find it hard to believe the issue of PTSD/claustrophobia and him not being supportive (or worse) ne…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 12:29 AM
26

Yes, it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 10:45 PM
24

So...therefore, early on means there are red flags and too many of us ignore them. Then we make it seem as though the man was a golden boy and HVM until wedding day or the positive pregnancy test when that's not what happened in real life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 10:43 PM
1

I'm not surprised. A seller of cowboy hats in Nashville, Tennessee sold yellow stars that said "Unvaccinated". It made me angry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 10:41 PM
31

I 100% agree that this already traumatized ex-bride doesn't deserve to be re-traumatized by someone who didn't respect her wishes about something that had the potential to trigger an already existing PTSD. I just have to wonder if this claustrophobia didn't show itself on another occasion with him ignoring her wishes then as well. When I was assaulted, after that point I couldn't deal with men coming up behind me at work, and I couldn't handle being in the same car as men. Things that can't easi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 10:35 PM
33

Okay. So then what's the point of vetting? I'm asking this in good faith. Shouldn't vetting weed out the majority of these types of men? My abusive ex showed his tendencies after a few months. Most stories I have heard, the boyfriend shows some sort of red flag within 3-6 months, or within a year at the latest. If they are escalating the abuse during engagement or pregnancy, then that usually means they had to have started somewhere at an earlier occasion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 10:24 PM
1

Is the issue here ethnicity or what country he grew up in? It sounds like it's the latter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 12:05 PM
6

We should vet on behaviors, actions, and attitudes, not race alone. You have a valid point. HVM are hard to find in general, regardless of country, race, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 12:04 PM
0

I think Emmett Till's family (he got killed in the American South in Mississippi in the 1950s simply for whistling in a store and a white woman falsely accused him of sexual assault and her husband and other men ended up murdering him by lynching and throwing him in a river, then found not guilty by am all-white jury) would disagree with you. There are always women sellouts from the dominant group more concerned about protecting her husband or son's privilege. It really depends on the context an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 11:59 AM
17

Thank you! This needs to be emphasized over and over. Our intuition doesn't come genetically. It's based on our condition, good and bad, and our experiences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 11:30 AM
8

How long did you date your HVM before getting married, and do you have kids? Just curious because I get the sense the majority of women who are happily married either don't have kids or they get hired help or lots of help from extended family.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 10:50 PM
66

Yeah I'm told the "safer" line as well. And Netherlands is always given as the example for this, as though every country will enforce regulations to even a fraction of the amount the Netherlands does. It's messed up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 06:01 PM
38

Well said!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 06:00 PM
4

It's denial. Big time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 09:15 PM
34

Who is nobody? I remember a debate in the media about her husband's role and the role of the preachers and churches around them. The media may not have all explicitly blamed Rusty but I remember there was a lot of blame for the pastors/religious leaders who didn't use their influence to make Rusty or his family help Andrea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 07:36 PM
5

As someone who comes from a Muslim background, this bar inside a restaurant setup was a great way for me to vet men. If they insisted I get an alcoholic drink even after I made it clear that I don't drink, or acted judgemental to me for not drinking, they didn't get another date with me (or didn't get a date with me if I detected this vibe on the app). So did the man you married do this with you? Look for a reason to extend the drink into dinner? Or did he ask you out to dinner straight up?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 02:32 PM
157

Yes I had an ex who was like this. (He never hit me but I can relate to him blocking my path and raising his voice at me. ) Ever notice these people often only seem to have "anger problems" at us? That they don't ever seem to break things or throw things they personally value? It's deliberate. They're not "out of control" or they'd charge into walls rather than at women and they'd break their own stuff every once in awhile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 02:01 PM
3

This sums up exactly the way I see the situation. She suddenly noticed it "looks different" after he told her the cost? He spends this much money without talking to her first? I really hope they don't break up because I don't want anyone else on the dating scene having to deal with these two insanely privileged or elitist individuals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 01:45 PM
4

Yes, he should've discussed her preferences with her before buying the ring (and adhered to them), but I can't help noticing that this has "white privilege" written all over it. The idea that a ring is "worthless" unless a poor child or woman of color was enslaved and/or beaten or abused or killed to obtain the ring that doesn't look any different, when she's a medical doctor in a country with legal protections who likely won't need to sell a ring to stay financially afloat, just doesn't sit wel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 02:41 PM
6

Don't be ashamed of yourself. Particularly since you two met in college - a time when you are relatively inexperienced and as a result aren't automatically looking for or expecting the worst in people to come out. And, especially if you're a decent person, it will be naturally harder for you to imagine all the different ways a dangerous, indecent, horrible and/or manipulative person would behave to take advantage of you. That is actually in your favor that you're not familiar with shitty behavio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 12:23 AM
11

My ex was a trauma spiller who dumped on me on our first date about how his boss fired him because the boss was a racist and showed me pictures of his family on the first date. I know exactly what you mean about how these types manipulate by playing on sympathy. My current boyfriend definitely did not "dump" on the first or even second date. And I would've run in the other direction if he had, having seen this type of behavior before for what it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 12:18 AM
69

In Middle Eastern culture in my family's home country we have a nickname for coddled sons that literally translates as "golden dick" and women in my community are warned to stay away from men who are obviously acting like they were treated as "golden dick". This is a big reason to not do chores for him when he invites you over. To vet for and weed out the guys who have this "golden coddled boy" syndrome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 12:10 AM
2

And that's the thing. Your rabbi was a woman. Your chances of being gaslight would have gone up dramatically with a rabbi who is a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 12:35 PM
2

I'm run into abused women in the Orthodox or ultra-Orthodox community who will be gaslight by male rabbis at some point too. Male clergy or congregation members of any of the big three Abrahamic religions will interpret religious doctrine in a way designed to benefit them regardless of what doctrine actually says.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 12:34 PM
3

Yes I have been depressed about being single. Being in a very brief relationship with an abusive man cured me of the "desperation"/"scarcity" mentality at 30 years old. I am 32 now and am in a relationship with man who cares about me. Don't fall for the biological clock fearmomgering. Most women I know have children in their 30s, and plenty were in their upper 30s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 12:01 AM
10

It wouldn't have mattered how she met the date if there is a lot of drinking involved or going to a stranger's house on a first date. The type of man who is okay with these two things on a first date is not the type of man you should be dating even if he was introduced by a mutual friend or in church.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 06:12 AM
3

In a purely professional context yes. But you can't be close friends with them after a certain point. I'm a woman engineer, probably 90 percent of my coworkers are men. There are fellow engineers who are men who I may catch up with over coffee or at a professional conference. But I don't invite them over alone or tell them emotional things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 03:23 AM
14

I think the point of that age gap rule was so that women in their teens and 20s don't get taken advantage of. Once you're in your 30s, if someone is for example 8 years older, that could mean 39 and 31. That's not the same as a 22 and 30 year old. This woman appears to be in at least upper 30s or 40s but has aged well. My colleague looks like her but is in her 40s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 01:15 PM
2

That's why you don't respond to every message in OLD or even the majority of them. And that's why you pick apps that aren't "free" (a lot of the people I see complaining are on apps like Tinder. I never used Tinder). That will not eliminate the bad actors but will cut down on a lot of them. Then well...people have to vet. Just like in real life, people will find low effort people and high effort people. I never gave my real phone number and never used my real first name on an app. That's why I d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 11:32 AM
3

Yeah, I'm in an ethnic community that is a minority and it's not easy to find people if you don't live where a large number of them live, particularly during COVID. So I went to a website geared towards my ethnic group.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 11:18 AM
12

I found my partner using OLD. I'd like to think I have self respect. I can count on two hands the number of men I've met in person from OLD out of many, many who messaged me online. It's possible to limit the number of men's messages you respond to, screen men beforehand, limit the amount of men you actually date in person. Vetting works if done correctly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 03:30 AM
10

Thank you! I'm glad I'm not the only one who was thinking this. However, to be fair, some of the women here are going to be more skeptical of men if they've had an abusive relationship and for example, the abuser told them what to wear or demanded makeup, etc. So they make make negative associations in their mind about makeup or clothes because it was dictated to them. But you have a point that they shouldn't make the wrong assumption about why a woman is asking for advice about preparing for a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 03:19 AM
9

A lack of financial stability or family support will lead a lot of women to make poor choices about men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 05:14 PM
46

Same here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/21 09:45 PM
2

Looks like he was dating a pickme. People in their 30s have likely had a relationship experience before and should know easily within a year where the relationship is headed. All of my friends and my sister and I knew whether we wanted babies by the age of 30. If she likely knew she wanted a baby...why stick around for another 7 years after 30? And...living together before formalizing a wedding date? It's not our job to audition to be a bride. This man should've been weeded out. I'm an engineer …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 08:52 PM
6

Panama actually set a curfew for men on some days? Wow. Impressive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 04:25 AM
49

Can confirm. On all of this. Fellow queens, I personally recommend the 90 day rule or at least the 2 month rule as a bare minimum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 08:34 PM
2

Honest question: what's the difference between meeting someone in OLD and meeting someone who is new to the area, who you have no mutual friends or acquaintances with, who you meet at a place like a concert? In either case you have to vet carefully, right? So it's not the OLD that's the issue. It's the lack of mutual acquaintances.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 01:17 PM
8

Yup. No casual sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 01:14 PM
1

Also cops have a higher DV rate than non-cops. So...we're basically asking the fox to guard the henhouse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 11:51 AM
61

As a former interpreter for Afghan refugees resettled in my country, I just want to say that the Afghan cultural system/legal system/society has so screwed the women that it's often very difficult for these families in the West if they come without a man. They didn't know how to drive, what north south east west was, basic math, etc due to the messed up system in their homeland. So often the kids would be working to provide for them, or it was a bug struggle for the women and then they'd look to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 11:06 AM
9

I honestly don't understand how people can stand to see a complete stranger for more than once a week in the first couple of months, even if he's likeable. Don't people want their space? As an introvert, I'd get overwhelmed easily if it was more than once a week that early.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 01:17 PM
5

Wow...is she that desperate to not be alone?! This guy is a piece of work but she is an extreme example of pickme culture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 11:56 PM
13

Love this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 11:58 AM
22

Yup. In some ways if is definitely getting worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 11:51 AM
20

Yes. This! It's like saying that a woman in Afghanistan wants to be dressed thenway they are made to dress now. If they wanted to wear what the Taliban wanted them to wear, you'd have no public beatings for not following the new law, right? I see prostitution the same way. Lots of invisible forces forcing a woman to do what she claims she "chooses" and consents to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 11:45 AM
26

Yes I am dating an HVM. He drives over every weekend to see me. We live 2 hours apart. He pays for all the dates, loads my dishwasher when he comes over for dinner after we are done eating so that he doesn't add to the mess. He basically does his best to be considerate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 03:18 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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