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View 8 posts and 88 comments by disjt on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Seriously? Yet another reason I'm so glad I moved from CA to TX! Max is 7 years in TX for me.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 06:52 AM
1

Unfortunately, yes. I think that's standard in most states. It is in Texas.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 05:26 AM
4

. 3k in spousal support - indefinite WTF? What state is this in? Indefinite? That is some BS.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 05:24 AM
3

. Wait till she remarries. What?! What state makes you keep paying alimony after she remarries?
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 05:19 AM
2

Ugghh, I'm so sorry man. What state are you in?
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 12:37 AM
1

This. I'm in Texas also. 7 years and 20% of gross or $5K spousal are the MAXIMUM the judge will award if it is a contested divorce. Lawyer told me that almost never happens. So don't agree to those maximums.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/23 06:20 AM
2

Damn...my eyes are allergic to that song. "It'll be all right" I wish I could believe that now...
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/21 01:45 AM
1

401k is just like any other asset. It should be included in your 50/50 calculation (whatever amount was earned during the marriage). If you don't want to give up any of it, then she has to get the same value from another asset.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/21 03:10 PM
11

It's not sexist at all. It's the truth. What do you see more often, older man with a better looking younger woman, or older woman with better looking younger man?
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/21 02:51 PM
3

Yeah, that's a great point...take the freedom!
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/21 03:57 AM
3

Thanks man. The mortgage is the largest debt and STBX is refinancing that with her mom co-signing, so that won't be my concern.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/21 03:56 AM
1

Well, I'm going to be working. STBX is getting the house (I didn't mind that) so that means I get to keep everything in my rollover IRA account that I self manage. We have not finalized anything yet though, so I'm just trying to make sure I'm not screwing myself. I don't think so. The house is in a hot market, so it's going to do well also. But the way I look at it, the equity isn't any good really until you sell. And even then, you'd have to move to a less expensive area or really downsize to m…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/21 01:40 AM
1

Proceeds from selling house are subject to capital gains taxes. If single at the time, only $250K is protected from capital gains. IRA is taxed based on income tax rates applicable at that time.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/21 11:09 PM
3

Yeah, she's even done it within a few minutes of the original conversation. I just don't know how it's even possible to have a discussion or relationship with someone that does this. Contention is unavoidable and fair resolution seems impossible. It could even be for very trivial things, where it's like she just can't admit she's wrong about anything, or if she is wrong there's always an explanation as to why, some justification. Even the most trivial things, like if she forgot to do something, …
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/21 07:54 PM
1

It doesn't really matter.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/21 03:11 PM
3

All the best mate, keep your head up. Things will be good. Men age like wine, women like milk. 🤣
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/21 10:22 PM
2

I'm right there with you brother. Married 23 years, separated since August. Been going through the and struggles. You are idealizing the relationship by remembering only the good times, or thinking about how it could have been. For me it helped to write a list of all the shitty things she did to me, ways she mistreated, annoyed me, etc. When I start to idealized again, read the list and remember how unhappy I was.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/21 04:20 AM
5

You're not in a marriage, you are in a prison. Get the hell out ASAP! NO one deserves to be treated like you are.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/21 05:25 AM
3

I'll see your 15 years, and raise to 23 years with my STBX that is the only woman I've slept with. I'm still having trouble imaging just dating someone else, let alone having sex.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/21 05:09 AM
1

You split the equity with her, so $300K, $150K each.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/21 09:14 PM
2

Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/21 07:10 PM
5

Thanks. Yes, I have some notes for that about the issues and reasons it wasn't working. Need to read that more often still.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/21 07:09 PM
1

I'm with you man! Been separated since August, while we get the decree done. It try to focus on the bright side of things as much as possible!
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/21 04:14 PM
6

Wow, that really hits home. If I'm being honest with myself, my answer is no also. It does help to think about it like that. Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/21 04:02 PM
4

Thanks for responding. I can totally relate. I'm trying to stay active and busy. Going out more with friends and colleagues I didn't hang out with much before. I try to force myself to think about the bad, the pain, the things she did, what did not work...so I can remember it wasn't a good situation, and that it is OK to get divorced. It's not inherently bad or wrong. It's just taking time...ugghhh.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/21 02:38 PM
5

Oh, and then she hits me with "you're lucky we have sex as much as we do! I have friends who have sex with their husbands way less than we do!" WTF...
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/21 12:26 AM
6

Yep, and they use it against us. They weaponize sex. "You know what really makes me want to have sex with you? When you do the dishes without me asking." Or "when you constantly heap praises on me and tell me you love me, or tell me something good about me, or compliment me." It's like it's not a valid reason to have sex just because we are married and well, that's what is supposed to give people pleasure.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/21 12:23 AM
9

For most men love is unconditional, permanent and without the need for reciprocity except in the physical sence. Men bond physically. This REALLY resonates with me. Thank you for the validation. My marriage may have survived if my STBX understood this. Instead I was the weirdo/ sex freak because I wanted to have sex twice a week.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/21 11:30 PM
1

Nothing?
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/21 04:51 PM
3

People always raised this on this sub, and freak out about it. Sounds to me like OP is saying he is fine with the stbx having majority custody because he and his parents are all working full time.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/21 12:56 PM
1

Yeah, or veven better write it all down in a list, all her problems, ways she hurt you, all the cons of being married to her. Read it as a reminder to help keep you focused on all the bad you are getting rid of and no longer saddled with in your life.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/21 12:39 PM
3

Happiness is the best revenge.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/21 04:03 AM
3

Yep, this is what my stbx has done once we separated. All biz, nothing personal, no emotions, I'm like a fucking stranger basically. I'm pretty much dead to her....except for my money, and co-parenting we'll be doing for another 4 years. My stbx ain't going to be running back though...no way. She's too fucking proud. And according to HER version of events, I'm the one that wanted to divorce, even though she said to me "what part of I don't want to be married to you anymore do you not understand?…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/21 04:02 AM
2

Texas spousal support duration is based on the number of years married. Max is 10 years for a marriage that lasted at least 30 years.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/21 04:20 AM
1

Thanks man. I'm just very nervous about finalizing the divorce and coming to regret it down the road. It's very difficult to see myself actually being happy a few years from now. Of course, I have no idea if my STBX would even consider trying to work things out again.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/21 03:48 AM
1

Thanks for those words. Is my future better with her or without her? That's what it comes down to for sure. I guess I'm not sure if I know the answer yet. I know this first month of separation has been one of the longest of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/21 03:34 AM
1

30's? Seriously? Will women in their 30's really be interested in someone that is 51? I do look young for my age, but wow...I can't imagine dating a 30 something woman! I'd love to try it though!
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/21 03:27 AM
1

"But then you start thinking back and you only think about the good stuff or you down play all the bad things about the relationship and you end up creating a false memory of it in your mind that doesn't represent the reality of the thing." Holy crap...sounds exactly like what's happening to me now. Ugghhh...it just really sucks trying to get used to all of this.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/21 10:55 PM
6

You can hire an attorney on a "limited scope" basis. Just tell them you want your agreement reviewed to ensure you're not overlooking anything, or getting ripped off.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/21 01:38 PM
1

I'd check what your state law says about assets acquired after separation. Are they considered community property or separate?
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/21 03:55 PM
1

OP said they're not hiring lawyers, so there's no lawyer/firm for the mediator to lean towards. If you both agree on an independent mediator to use, that's the way to go.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/21 04:54 AM
1

Yeah, my answer is the same, unless your state has different rules for assets acquired during separation.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/21 04:47 AM
1

Oh, OK but why would you treat them any differently if they're granted after the separation? Is it a legal separation? If not, then I would treat them like the other RSUs granted during the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/21 04:46 AM
0

Bullcrap
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/21 04:41 AM
2

Are you Mormon? Divorcing over porn is not uncommon for indoctrinated hard-core Mormons.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/21 04:41 AM
1

You need to choose either the Hug Formula or Nelson Formula, whichever is most appropriate for your situation and RSUs. Basically, the % that goes to your ex will decrease over time. https://www.survivedivorce.com/rsu-restricted-stock-unit-divorce
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/21 04:31 AM
1

I'm in the same boat. I received RSU grants multiple years in a row the last several years. They vest a certain % over time. Here's a great article that discusses different approaches. For me it came to choosing one of the formulas to calculate what % of the RSUs are community property. https://www.survivedivorce.com/rsu-restricted-stock-unit-divorce
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/21 04:28 AM
3

Well, is it really in your attorney's best interest if you speak directly with your wife or via a mediator? He doesn't make money from going to trial if you reach an agreement with your stbx, right?
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/21 03:10 AM
1

It's still your house too! She cannot legally prevent you from entering. Covid is just an excuse, give me a break.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/21 10:22 PM
3

Grey rock method? I need to look this up. I think my STBX is doing it also. She challenges me on EVERY thing.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/21 02:19 AM
5

Time heals all wounds. You got this.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/21 07:42 PM
1

21 years of Marriage = 7 years maximum spousal support in TX
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/21 06:11 AM
2

Nice! I'll bring my surfboard.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/21 04:35 AM
1

It doesn't matter if the inheritance was gained during the marriage, it is still considered separate property.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/21 11:11 PM
1

Dude, this woman has royally screwed you! File now!
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/21 10:03 PM
1

Re. #4....I've been the only one working in our marriage anyway, so shit will be less expensive for me now.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/21 03:30 PM
7

That's awesome! I'd love to go to Baja when my divorce finalizes in a couple months. Cheers!
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/21 03:14 AM
1

I think that is for your wife to decide.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/21 05:16 PM
16

Another reason not to live in CA.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/21 06:41 PM
1

Don't listen to Evil Dick!
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/21 12:06 AM
10

Of course that's enough. Get out now while you're young and don't have any kids. Sounds to me like you're not really able to live an authentic life as long as you're married to this person, which means you'll n never be truly happy.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/21 04:24 AM
1

I hear you. I don't know about you, but I don't plan on remarrying, that's for sure!
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/21 06:36 PM
2

This is correct.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/21 06:42 AM
1

Okay, makes sense. Thanks for the clarification. I agree.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/21 03:22 PM
1

Right. Plus my kids (teenagers) already know we have agreed to 50/50, so if my STBX tried to pull some shady stuff to change that, they would know it and she would look like the jerk.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/21 03:21 PM
5

Yes! I am finally coming around to this realization also. I'm 100% bought in on focusing on the GOOD that will come from all this, looking on the bright side. It's the only way forward. There are things my STBX will never change, things that will never be compatible between us. I just have accepted my (and her's) best way forward to achieve happiness and live a truly authentic life is separately. I don't think I have been able to be my true authentic self for many years, and I can't wait to be a…
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/21 03:17 PM
1

which is also comparible to what you have (you dont want the kids to favor her place more than yours). Yeah, that's not even possible for some of us. You know how much rent is for a 4000+ sq ft house around here? We are talking around $4k. I was super lucky to find a rental house I could afford. It's half the size, but at least kids will have their own bedroom. It's fine for now.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/21 01:55 PM
1

I have a rental house lined up, 1 year lease. I probably won't buy anything until youngest son is out of high school and then I'm not constrained by needing to be in the school district. I'd say rent first, whatever you can afford with enough room for kids.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/21 01:47 PM
2

You are only 28 years old man! Don't make your decision out of fear that you'll never find the right woman. If you're current wife isn't the right person, that's all you need to know! Get out now while you have no kids.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/21 04:27 PM
1

Same here...at 51. Divorce should be finalized by September. Cannot really fathom yet what it will be like to have such freedom.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/21 04:36 AM
1

Love it!
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/21 04:03 AM
1

Thanks for your words. If we come to agreement on terms by working with the CDFA, I'll have my own attorney review it before signing it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/21 04:14 PM
1

I understand all that. Like I said, I can always secure the rental, sign the lease, but not actually move in until the final decree is signed by the judge. It would be worth it to pay the rent for a month before actually moving in. The market is just ridiculous, and I am constrained by needing to be in the school district.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/21 07:03 PM
1

I mean, anything can happen. We could have a disagreement and things could get ugly, worst case. Probably safer to go forward with the rental, and see what happens between now and August. We should have the final decree agreed upon and drafted by then. If there's still any doubt, I can just pay the rent but not fully move in yet. 6 months? Another reason I thank god we are in Texas and not CA.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/21 02:58 AM
2

Yeah, I've read that and those situations do not apply. I'm not in litigation. It's uncontested divorce. We filed last week. There's a 60 day minimum wait in Texas. We are working with CDFA and attorney to write the final decree based on the terms we agree to. STBX will be staying in the house, custody will be 50/50. There's almost no rentals available in the school disctrict. There's a house available for rent a week or two before divorce will be finalized.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/21 02:52 AM
1

But why?? The only reason I can see for waiting is if we are not able to agree on the terms for the final decree and things get ugly, right?
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/21 02:47 AM
1

Interesting. We have already filed also. Rental homes in my kids' school district are almost non existent. There's one I can afford available about a week or two before the 60 days minimum wait period is over. If my application is accepted I have to take it. I guess I can sign the lease and start paying the rent before I actually move in.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/21 02:46 AM
2

My new girlfriend loves sex..... she's pretty much a twice a day gal. Damn...
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/21 04:39 AM
6

Women use sex for seduction before marriage, and use sex for compliance after marriage. Even if you reaffirm your vows, you can't negotiate genuine desire. Truer words have never been spoken. Unfortunately I learned this the hard way. And to make matters worse, due to being raised in a high demand orthodox religion, my STBX is the only person I've ever had sex with.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/21 03:14 PM
3

A wife is not entitled to use sex as a way to mentally abuse and manipulate her husband!
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/21 03:09 PM
1

Oops, meant for OP
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/21 02:59 PM
1

Chin up man! I know plenty of people that didn't have kids until their 40's. It's really not that unusual to be 34 without kids!
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/21 02:58 PM
1

Yep. Wife will be out of town for a few days.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/21 11:11 PM
1

All good man. Yeah, will do a consultation next week.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/21 08:09 PM
1

Wow... brilliant comment there bruh, thanks for nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/21 07:42 PM
2

No, nothing super complex. The usual...house, cars, retirement accounts, property. We already agree on who's getting the house, which car, etc. STBXW I think just wants an expert to help because she thinks I have a knowledge advantage about finances and such. It's not a lot of money to hire the CDFA, so I figure it's worth it in order to get this over with asap.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/21 02:11 PM
1

No attorney yet. Like I said, I will probably hire an attorney to review our agreement before submitting to the judge. Yes, I agree...I want to make sure I'm not giving away too much, or missing something.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/21 02:05 PM
1

How did this affect your mediation process? Did your stbxw get more hostile when you came back to ask for changes? Did she hire her own attorney?
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/21 04:38 AM
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