djaanmieesl Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
9	For those of you dealing with cheating, how do you get over the anger?		djaanmieesl	/r/Divorce_Men	15/06/25 01:42 AM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	Wife angry about equitable financial splitting Don’t listen to this woman, 50/50 end of conversation. Don’t let your ex manipulate you either. Morally you’re also in the clear. At a minimum, your ex wouldn’t have been able to pay for all those house upgrades if your paycheck wasn’t there covering other expenses. Add on top all the other things you undoubtedly did for the house and it’s obvious.	/r/Divorce_Men	29/07/26 11:15 PM
13	Divorce is finalized What kind of sociopath would say to her ex, “it’s the best day of my life,” and then high five? Divorce was absolutely the right call for me but nothing about this is a joking celebration with her. We got married ffs and had kids and a million other better memories, that comment speaks volumes about her character and stability and even ability the read the fucking room. Good riddance.	/r/Divorce_Men	01/07/26 11:43 AM
1	Do I tattle on my ex wife and her paramour? (After divorce is final) This is terrible advice, why are you in a men’s divorce group giving advice?	/r/Divorce_Men	22/06/26 06:41 PM
1	Am I Overreacting or within Reason? Exactly. OP is sadly delusional.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/06/26 06:33 PM
14	Am I Overreacting or within Reason? You are 100% not getting the full story and are not overreacting. When there are this many WTFs it’s obvious that she’s lying. Occam’s razor says she had consensual group sex in a hotel room while on a business trip and her guilt caught up to her. Add on the facts that she’s done nothing since you talked about it and you’ve already been separated (clearly there are other issues predating this) it’s well passed time to end this. Also lol at the other advice you’re getting, your wife has a gangban…	/r/Divorce_Men	18/06/26 11:43 AM
8	Lawyer ex-wife is losing it. This hasn't been true in my experience FWIW. My ex is a lawyer and my attorney has had 0 issue with it and I have not once doubted her representation and ability. In fact she seems to go harder because of it, and the only time it really ever comes up is when my ex does something stupid for her case and my attorney is wtf about it. OP it absolutely does mean that you need to be air tight with everything. No more emotion, everything goes through your lawyer, etc. It's sad that it gets to this but …	/r/Divorce_Men	10/06/26 03:58 PM
3	Good experience with female lawyers? Yeah exactly, she knows how to litigate these issues and had a plan from day 1, including a bunch of various tactics. For instance she had worked several times with a local alcohol expert who liked her, and she knew what the evaluations and interviews were like. That report early on proved critical in setting the tone and getting my ex to agree to move out (which was massive for several reasons). The first guy just didn’t have a lot of experience with these difficult issues and it always felt li…	/r/Divorce_Men	09/06/26 12:23 AM
6	Good experience with female lawyers? I actually switched early on from a male attorney to an aggressive female attorney and I think it was the single best decision I made in my divorce (among many good decisions fortunately). In difficult or contentious cases I think female attorneys unfortunately help quite a bit in immediately countering the "poor woman" image that naturally arises if it's male vs. female. I specifically wanted to avoid all of the inherent bias and sympathy that women get and female attorneys are critical there. …	/r/Divorce_Men	08/06/26 07:35 PM
1	Did your (ex)wife’s friends lead her towards divorce? You're spot on sadly, it's extra frustrating given that had we just been able to get through those years (and obviously treat the drinking) we'd have much more time now that the kids are a bit older. It all seemed so short sighted but she was done with me. I'm really happy for you and your husband and I'm glad you guys worked through it. You're absolutely right, it takes both people really wanting it and that's been made super clear to me.	/r/Divorce_Men	08/06/26 05:59 PM
3	Did your (ex)wife’s friends lead her towards divorce? Thanks for posting this, they were absolutely integral in the end of our marriage. Her drinking and disrespect were by far the biggest issues, but we were working through them. It became impossible with her 3 cheerleaders though, with them even encouraging her to attempt an affair. Absolutely vile, unhappy women trying to bring another down. Everything they said to you was said to my ex wife as well FWIW. I found text messages near the end. She had been bad mouthing me for over a year and was ge…	/r/Divorce_Men	08/06/26 05:23 PM
2	How do I deal with this rage In the immediate, because nothing else worked for me when I too was this angry: I bought a heavy bag and just beat the hell out of it until I was too tired to continue. It helped with the sleepless nights. Also went to the gym way more. In the short term: finding anything else to focus on, like a project or hobby or just a health goal. I completely reworked my diet and focused on that, and I started writing short stories. For the long term: know that eventually it fades away, you stop thinking a…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/06/26 11:27 AM
3	How to deal with the ap? Sorry you’re dealing with this, this is like a worst case scenario. Just wanted to +1 what the other comment said in that you absolutely 100% cannot act emotionally. They’re trying to bait you into that, don’t give it to them and enjoy that you never give them an opportunity. The law is completely on your side and they have no right to interfere with your 50% time, that’s your right. This loser can say whatever he wants but it’s meaningless and your kids want and need you. If either of them ever…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/05/26 05:30 PM
2	Looking for advice on teen daughter It’s not sweet, trust your gut and disregard that comment. I don’t know why women comment here but no, it is 100% inappropriate, especially given how recent the separation is. The unfortunate part though is that you have very little control and you’re right that bringing this up would probably have the opposite effect. You could mention it once in joint terms (I think we should keep the kids out of any discussions of new partners for the time being) and then yes just continue being the stable, l…	/r/Divorce_Men	20/02/26 12:00 AM
4	Someone tell me what to do You’ve made it very clear then that you won’t do the hard things. Many people go out by themselves to meet other people, you’re just lazy or scared. Continue being miserable, that’s what you want. Stop wasting everyone’s valuable time here.	/r/Divorce_Men	16/02/26 03:35 PM
4	Someone tell me what to do You have actionable things you can do right here that you aren’t doing, even amid all of these new excuses. Find a babysitter and commit to 2 nights a week where you go do something. Look at all of your excuse garbage: “I also don’t have anything to do to warrant a babysitter.” “There aren’t many people I trust” “I don’t have any energy left to do anything” “I also feel horribly guilty anytime I get a babysitter” Do you see what you’re doing? You create a set of impossible constraints to avoid h…	/r/Divorce_Men	16/02/26 03:18 PM
11	Someone tell me what to do I’ve seen your posts come up every few weeks and it’s always the same: you’ve tried every single thing that hundreds of people have recommended in 10 different ways already, and somehow nothing works for you. You have endless excuses or reasons why something won’t work. Support groups: “I have looked there aren't any around me that are suitable.” Therapy: “I’ve been in therapy for years. None of it helps.” Different therapists: “I’ve changed therapists a number of times. It doesn’t help.” Medica…	/r/Divorce_Men	16/02/26 02:18 PM
2	Own Your Shit Weekly - February 10, 2026 The situation with your son is way more serious than you seem to be letting on. An 8 year old taking out a knife after his step dad pushed him down the stairs is an emergency situation and he needs you to protect him. This is at the level of a protection order, he should not be around your son at all.	/r/MarriedRedPill	10/02/26 11:10 PM
4	How long does phone/video calls lasts with the mother when the kid is with you? Wow 1 hour 😳 I can’t believe any kid, let alone a 3yo, could maintain a call for even 1/10th of that. This feels like something is off, what is she doing/talking about? My 9/5yo talk to their mom for 1-5 minutes by their own choice. They get distracted or lose interest after that and are on to something else. Honestly if they were going past 10 minutes I would start to set time limits, 5 feels good. FWIW I had to implement two call times a day given their manipulative mom started using calls as …	/r/Divorce_Men	26/01/26 05:00 PM
1	What are your distractions? Thanks for this, would you mind sharing the name of the course?	/r/Divorce_Men	16/01/26 12:34 PM
4	Ex-wife’s boyfriend loves to talk shit and taunt. This is exactly right and the only message that will work. What he’s doing is harassment and you need to handle it as such. File for a restraining order and police report for harassment. No violence under any circumstances!	/r/Divorce_Men	16/01/26 02:05 AM
2	The feeling of being replaced. Thanks, this is really helpful. Thinking back you’re right, this was how she was with me at this time too.	/r/Divorce_Men	31/12/25 03:06 PM
1	The feeling of being replaced. How did you get over the anger? Or stop dwelling on it?	/r/Divorce_Men	31/12/25 02:43 PM
1	The feeling of being replaced. Dwelling on it won’t take you to a better place. This is crucial but I can’t seem to stop dwelling on it. Do you have any advice on how you got over the insecurity/anger? I can’t get out of my head lately.	/r/Divorce_Men	31/12/25 02:38 PM
1	The feeling of being replaced. I know this is a few weeks old but I’m dealing with this right now and your mindset is where I hope to get to. I feel like the new guy is getting a better version than I got, and it’s humiliating to think she couldn’t give that to me but she can to some coworker she met 4 months ago. How did you come to that acceptance? I want to believe after the initial honeymoon that she’ll be back to same drunk selfish ways but my insecurity with this is crushing me right now.	/r/Divorce_Men	31/12/25 02:36 PM
5	She wanted to prove she could do it without me 🤣 You’re not wrong and it does them no service falsely believing a minimum wage job can support their lifestyle. OP you and they deserve to know the truth.	/r/Divorce_Men	28/12/25 05:40 PM
1	Would you take a bullet Very similar situation with my STBXW and I too had to just rip many bandaids off. I’m a better man and father when she’s not around me and I took a long time getting over my need for her validation too, and it’s helped a lot just parallel parenting and avoiding her as much as possible. She too thought we’d live this fantasy blended family/shared holiday life and it will never happen. Just want to reiterate, don’t feel guilty at all for prioritizing yourself, and you are at the very least equally…	/r/Divorce_Men	20/12/25 03:15 PM
2	Would you take a bullet Wtf? This is like Stockholm Syndrome… In no reality is it optimal or even ok for you to sacrifice yourself for your wife or ex wife, you are an equal and important part of your kid’s life. You’re not less than your ex, get that out of your head. I don’t mean to be rude but the fact that you’re even suggesting this is a strong indicator that you need to speak to a therapist and other men. What’s best for your child is growing up with a strong, resilient, loving, involved father. Someone to lead a…	/r/Divorce_Men	20/12/25 01:34 AM
10	Tired of the gaslighting BS Could’ve written this myself a year ago, right down to the WFH bit. She would actually complain about that because I would see how little she in fact did. I paid for sitters for our 3yo so she could play tennis, get drunk, and nap.	/r/Divorce_Men	14/12/25 03:48 PM
2	Finally hitting me that this will be the last Christmas I’ll get to spend with my kids in our home. Anyone else experienced this? Maybe it’d be best for everyone if this Christmas is my last Christmas period. I hope this is just venting but if it's not, please go speak to someone 🙏 You have so much to live for and your kids need you. Happy to chat as well. I've had to come to terms too with this Christmas very likely being the last I spend in the only house my kids have ever known. There's no getting around it, it's sad and demoralizing, but I've gotten to a great spot with it and have started to look forward to what next …	/r/Divorce_Men	13/12/25 12:17 PM
5	Ladies be tripping I get the ignore comments but if it’s really bad I would consider suing her, or at least sending a demand letter from a lawyer. In many states saying someone has been unfaithful is per se defamation. It would most likely get her to at least stop or even correct the lies.	/r/Divorce_Men	06/12/25 12:47 PM
1	the end of the road I’m sorry man, that’s a lot of heavy stuff to deal with. First and foremost though, please don’t do anything rash. Please find someone to talk to, and I would strongly recommend a regular therapist ASAP. Your son needs you at the very least. Beyond that you need to do what’s best for you and your son, whether that’s working through your issues with your wife with another therapist or leaving her and what sounds at least like years of manipulation. That’s a separate track from you addressing your…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/11/25 04:43 PM
5	The kids dropped a bombshell last week and I am not sure what to do? Keep fighting. In general she cannot take them to a different state without your consent, which is obviously why she’s trying to get full physical custody. This standard is very high to meet in most states/circumstances, please do not give up. Yes if she moves and the court does not allow your kids to move with her you will get primary physical custody. Please talk to a lawyer and figure out a proactive strategy here 🙏 Don’t stay on your back foot. It’s going to cost money but this is the most i…	/r/Divorce_Men	29/11/25 10:40 AM
3	How do you deal with resentment and alimony? In many states, establishing a separation date freezes everything so you’d only be splitting things based on accounts/values up to that point in time. Definitely speak with a good lawyer.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/11/25 09:02 PM
1	How Do You Split Costs with Your Ex? Good advice, curious what receipts/expenses would do for a relocation request though. Just to show that she somehow pays for everything related to the kids?	/r/Divorce_Men	02/11/25 07:37 PM
2	Make Net Income Great Again! I don't understand how you're going to do this mathematically, are those support amounts based on something far less than 50/50, or the 40/60 you think you'll settle on? Taking $2,500 in rent and then $2,600 in support from $5,600/mo post tax leaves you with $500 a month for everything else... Absolutely unreal.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/10/25 08:34 PM
1	What’s the weirdest thing your ex wife’s boyfriend tried to do to you? Did you contest it or just agree? I can’t imagine how she could’ve done this if you didn’t agree to it.	/r/Divorce_Men	26/07/25 05:33 PM
1	X-Post /r/Divorce - Need some help dealing with the regret Great insights and yes you’re right, children complicate things a hundredfold. I realize this isn't relevant here as OP is childless but as just one of many examples, it’s great she wants to go out and spend time with her friends, but what about when it starts causing you to shoulder outsized childcare responsibilities? You bring that up and now you’re controlling, you hate that she wants to have fun, you’re a killjoy. Indifference is a great general standard but children up the stakes considera…	/r/Divorce_Men	20/06/25 12:34 PM
2	That’s a wrap Curious what your case was for sole custody? I know you said you only got 50/50 but I'll be attempting similarly and am trying to get as much info as possible.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/02/25 08:06 PM
2	Did coparenting get easier as time went on? Good for you man, I don’t think it’s harsh either and where I will most likely end up.	/r/Divorce_Men	25/10/24 12:11 AM
2	Seeking feedback on dealing with posts. And request for help. Women (and men) invading this space with ulterior motives and bad advice is a problem I’ve been seeing a bit more lately, particularly on the more upvoted posts. This is first and foremost a support community of/for men, and particularly men in a vulnerable and life changing time. I agree with the other comment that things are by and large fine now and over modding is a risk, I would just be mindful of reports on comments with terrible advice or from people who aren’t genuine here and to be quic…	/r/Divorce_Men	10/10/24 07:38 PM
2	Son, 5 yo Not doing well with divorce Could you elaborate a bit on this? Therapist for the child who would be documenting the son's feelings/behavior?	/r/Divorce_Men	02/10/24 06:09 PM
1	Great example of unaccountability from ex Her: I'm taking daughter to urgent care Also her: You don't need to be concerned when they are with me 🤔	/r/Divorce_Men	21/09/24 11:34 PM
1	Question for man that asked for the divorce and have kid/s with their wife? This is a great mindset but what I struggle with is feeling like I’m abandoning them whenever I’d leave them with their mom. I’m in a similarly toxic situation but at least I can be here for them every day. How do you deal with those thoughts? I’m really struggling with that.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/09/24 01:30 AM
3	Have you had a long-distance relationship with your child? No experience yet but I’m strongly considering the exact same situation, just that I’ll be about a 4 hour drive instead. This is not where we were supposed to be long term and I can’t stomach being here full time for the next 13 or so years. I fully intend to split my time between two cities with a house in both. I’ll have as much time as I can get with the kids and will be here with them for every day I have them, but I also intend to spend my off weekends or off weeks away and to bring them th…	/r/Divorce_Men	20/09/24 12:13 AM
1	Advice from a guy who initiated I think this is the comment/post: https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f80xvi/looking_into_calling_it_quits/llbc4c1/	/r/Divorce_Men	19/09/24 02:28 PM
2	Sudden divorce Similar situation, moved to the other side of the state about 5 years ago to be closer to her family. Intent was always to come back but now I wonder if she was ever honest about that. We’re most likely getting divorced within the next 6 months and now I get to likewise decide between my kids here or going back to a better everything and seeing them 1/10th the time. I’m hopeful I’ll be in a situation to have a house in my hometown and an apartment here, and be able to travel back and forth a lot…	/r/Divorce_Men	17/09/24 02:58 PM