TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

dkblue1 Archive

View 0 posts and 175 comments by dkblue1 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
0

I think this sub could use a new or additional mod.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 09:01 PM
13

You guys are letting this turn into another women divorce sub especially the ones that say "i want to hear about woman's opinion..." when all the other subs are women based, and you're free to go there to get that opinion.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 04:34 AM
2

That woman is in a subreddit for men and divorce support. She's not happy.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 05:26 PM
1

I agree, and this may mean to divorce your wife in order to find that happiness in yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 05:23 PM
1

Do you feel bad that he's in love with a "super ugly" woman? She's fulfilling something for him. Maybe fun, kinky sex with no judgement from her. I've met several men who were excited to play out sexual fantasies after divorce. It can be a shock to see what our ex spouses look for in relationships especially when there are stereotypes for ex husbands always going for the younger, prettier woman. Best thing is to not try and figure it out.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 05:22 PM
1

Sometimes a cheater doesn't want to tell you because they don't want to hurt your feelings or ego. A twist on the old "it's not you, it's me."
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 06:02 PM
6

Just shows how conditional a woman's love is. I honestly don't think it's the video games. She doesn't love you anymore and is looking for any reason to detach. My ex wife said all sorts of mean things as reasons for us divorcing. Within a year or two after our divorce she apologized for many of those things she said because they weren't real. 5 years after divorce and living happy 🫰
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 06:51 PM
1

Just shows how conditional a woman's love is.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 06:44 PM
1

I really feel inclined to say that OP is a hopeless cause. Based on him wanting clarification from his ex mother in law, not showing up to court to contest his ex wife's allegations, checking himself into a mental hospital at the request of his ex....etc. He is sadly the type of man who will just go with the flow and pace set by his ex wife, let things happen, and later complain about circumstances. With that said, there is still great advice here for anyone else searching help as many of us kno…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 02:22 PM
2

Nothing wrong with living life the way you want to and that includes your hobbies. You both married really young so wouldn't have had time to really figure out your incompatibility. Many of us learn after divorce that we let go of a lot of our personal joys in life to be a good husband, to be noble. Lol then we figure out we will never give up our freedoms and joys like that for anyone again.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/24 08:05 PM
2

Let's toast to men like OP and my ex wife's boyfriend for taking some or all of the burden of our exes off of us 😁 Thank you, Bruce, my divorce wouldn't have gone as smoothly without you 😚 hugs and kisses. Sincerely.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 06:33 PM
1

Yep and she doesn't have to be a single divorced mom to perform this trick.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 06:25 PM
1

Even if boys were educated, many of these outcomes like yours would be the same. Many men can't help themselves when it comes to sex, women, and relationships. After all, women weren't the ones who created these laws and allowed this to happen.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 06:23 PM
2

No, he won't. He said he's "stuck and unhappy." The wife has already done the damage with his daughter and he was complicit through it all. I feel bad for the men wearing invisible chains. My brother is this way. He's attracted to women who take from him and treat him poorly.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 06:17 PM
2

The power of pussy is a real thing 😌 and you were helpless in its soft grip.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 06:13 PM
1

Succinctly put 😆
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 06:10 PM
3

Lady, I ain't reading all that.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 02:26 PM
1

If you have the time for it and you both can amicably agree on your split of assets and debt, then it isn't too complicated to download the forms from your state's court website. Fill them out yourself and file. It's possible if both of you can keep your cool as best as you can. Here's a good place to start: https://superiorcourt.maricopa.gov/llrc/family-court-forms/
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 04:29 PM
2

I'm thankful everyday for this and that I had the sense to use the affair fog to get, at minimum, fair terms in our settlement. Once the divorce was final and her boyfriend wasn't as perfect as she thought, she was furious about the settlement (it was very fair but her friends told her she should've had more).
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 01:31 AM
1

Weird to make a couple of replies to your own post. Did you mean to reply with an alt account but didn't by mistake? I agree with your post though.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 06:11 PM
2

You are in the wrong subreddit. Not reading any of that. Please check out the hundreds of other reddits that provide encouragement and support for women. Have a good day, bye.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 03:20 PM
1

Bro, don't respond to her. She put female logic on full display in a long paragraph, then when you checked her, she says "you are correct..." and then tries to make herself seem like she was still right about something. Maybe she's in here fishing for a desperate man, which sadly there are plenty.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/24 03:17 PM
1

It's why you can't give them an inch in here. We don't need their perspective in this subreddit. Go to any of the other 100s of relationship related subreddits for the female perspective. Leave this one to the boys.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/24 03:07 PM
21

Have self respect. You had sex with your ex this year, so I know you aren't spending Christmas at her place for the kids. You are still holding on. Unless you can keep it together around her new boyfriend, it looks like you won't be at next year's Christmas when her boyfriend tells her " it's him or me."
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 03:26 AM
1

He's in college and an adult. Let him know you're dating and you have a gf. My advice would be different if he were younger than 14-16.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 07:05 PM
1

Those are irrelevant reasons to not make your life what you want. There are numerous constraints in life and divorce outcomes are only 1 of them. We are all under various constraints in our lives, and even marriage itself is a constraint. Career choices are a constraint, health problems are a constraint, etc. We are always making do in some way or another. So by logic, you can make your life what you want with limit of constraints. A guy wrote he went to a football game with a friend his ex woul…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 04:04 PM
3

Lol it's men who prop up the current system. It's men who came up with the current system. Reading through for more detail. I think you will be fine. The fact CPS was included because of your wife's behavior is not going to look good to a female judge. I would argue a male judge would give more sympathy especially if she's pretty.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 02:40 PM
3

I witnessed my own mother do this when I was a teenager with 2 of her friends. She would try to convince them how wonderful it was to be divorced. On one occasion my mother was having lunch with her friend and brought me along. My mother told me to tell her friend how good life is without my father. Both of them really considered divorce because they were going through a rough patch in their marriages. My mom coaxed them to go to the clubs/bars with her to flirt with other men and cheat. One fri…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 03:15 PM
2

Going to say that's great that you visited or cared about her parents, and yes it's heartless that she didn't for your dad. However, she isn't obligated to do things you believe are worthy or decent things to do. Stop expecting your EX wife to be there for you at your low moments. If you want to and allow yourself to be there for her, then that's on you and you should not expect payback in kind. I'm not faulting your ex wife on this one. She plays the game well.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 12:05 AM
1

I'm 4 yrs past my divorce. A couple weeks ago when she was picking up our son from my place she goes on about how messy my home is. For 5 minutes She goes on about how i should get rid of stuff, donate items, and asks if I need some help from her blah blah blah. When they finally leave, I lock my door and sigh out loud, "so thankful I don't have to listen to that nagging anymore!" What really bothers her more than my cluttered home is that it became cluttered over the summer because I've been ta…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 07:53 PM
2

Lmao mine said "it's time for me to be selfish" too.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 07:45 PM
2

How old were you both at the times of your divorces?
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 05:17 PM
4

Mine did because I signed us both up with a physical trainer 5 months before separating. I thought it would get her motivated to join me on my workouts 🙄 She did look good when we divorced and for several months after as she snuck around then became official with her new older man and moved in with him. A year later, she was back to her dumpy self. That was 3 yrs ago, and when I saw her recently, I thought "no thanks." She doesn't look as happy now as she did the first 6 months after divorce whe…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 06:31 PM
1

I agree. OP keeps saying he thought his wife was bluffing. Ok, that's fine, but court summons? Divorce filings? Did he think the State was bluffing too?
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 03:10 PM
3

I recommend a journal too. Even record some videos of yourself ugly crying about how your life is ruined and nothing matters anymore. I did, and only took a couple of years after my divorce to look back on those and think "wow, who was that guy?" It provides an ego boost to see how far you came out of those depths. Watching my videos, I don't relate to how I felt in those moments at all anymore. Hang in there
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 10:03 PM
2

Don't worry about what a woman says. I mean, haven't we learned that early on? She's telling you that to get a reaction from you. It's like asking if this dress makes me look fat. My ex was "so happy" with her new boyfriend too. "He's so different...blah blah blah." She'd say even before our divorce was final. Not a year later I'm sucking on her tits while she moans "you always have a way with me." She's still with that guy. And I don't feel bad for him at all. What a dummy.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 09:57 PM
2

Next guy won't get the best version. After 19 years Mine monkey branched to a man 15 yrs older. And within a year of divorce i was sucking my exw's titties. Her new man is real lucky, isn't he? I like to think I had the best version and if not the best, at least the youngest version 😉 her new man won't ever feel the tight pre-birth vagina of her 20s that i pounded as much as i wanted. She carried my child (new bf has no children) and I watched in awe of her as my son was born vaginally. I rememb…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 09:56 PM
3

These divorce stats have been taking place long before covid.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 03:21 AM
3

🤣 yep, yen, rupees, euros, so many personalities for them to choose from. Haha. Even if they see you as such, if you're dating just remember that you aren't locked in, and don't let PP (pussy power) blind you from making terrible choices.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 02:17 PM
4

You're likely correct because several months after my divorce my ex commented "I like that you are still in our house. " she gave off the vibe that worst case, maybe I will still be there to come back too. Of course, I'm not interested.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 08:48 PM
1

Yeah, I'll bet she's hoping to do it with no mortgage.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 04:23 PM
1

In my state, you don't need to be served in the traditional sense. Georgia uses a form called "Acknowledgement of Service" that both parties sign and notarized that says formal process is waived. BUT there's a part that asks for a mailing address "should further notice be required for any reason". Guess it doesn't have to be your new address though.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 02:13 PM
1

Go out in real life once you've had more time to digest. It's eye opening once you look for the subtle and not so subtle clues couples give. At a restaurant, no words, buried in their phones or staring around the room, wishing they were somewhere else or with someone else. Glimpse resentments when an inconspicuous eye roll or barely there sigh is made. No, once I got over the grief of divorce and began enjoying my life more did I notice the look of being trapped in many married couples I see in …
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 03:34 AM
5

I understand that but you don't really know what's been going on in her thoughts and how she felt about you since the beginning. There are women who are honest sometimes (and men) when they say they were never really attracted to who they married, it just seemed like the right thing to do or they liked them enough, and in the case of women, the guy could provide or he checked enough boxes but there wasn't a spark. Very common. Making this a self esteem issue is another way of making her a victim…
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 06:32 PM
1

What does that say about OP if she's only with guys due to low self esteem?
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 05:51 PM
2

Blatantly obvious. 70+ comments already. They can't help themselves, which is why I don't always feel bad for them.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 03:37 PM
3

Look at you trying to sound scientific after being the one who blames "satan". Stop believing in fairytales and mythology. Humans created the problems with modern marriages
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 05:21 PM
2

The state court won't look into your retirement accounts. They don't care and it isn't its job to separate assets when parties have come to a settlement agreement. In my state we have the option to mark that all assets and debts were settled prior to filing and nothing had to be listed out. I filed and did all the documents in my own uncontested divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/23 11:40 PM
2

Your settlement can be whatever you both agree to in uncontested divorce. Child support, just use the online calculator and forms to show how you both will split support including health insurance. At least download the divorce forms from your state court. I hope it works out and yes it is like walking a tight rope until the divorce decree is issued.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/23 11:34 PM
2

He's not the one filing, he's the one begging. She has already started the process and contacted a lawyer who is now asking OP questions to get the ball rolling.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 02:24 PM
24

I don't hate women, doubt any of us really do. I just don't like them coming into this space. And I roll my eyes at any man that comments "well, it's nice to get a female perspective." Then go to any of the OTHER hundreds of subreddits where you can get that perspective.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 08:42 PM
1

Mine didn't have a therapist, but she did make a new friend who was divorced and started hanging out with single 20 something female coworkers our last couple year's of marriage. Pretty sure the same reinforcements occurred.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 03:26 PM
1

Congratulations. I've had custody of mine since divorcing almost 4 years ago. Love it. You can now relax a little and proceed to move on and live.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 05:14 AM
3

No idea why you're in this sub... Not reading all that
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 07:56 PM
1

I already had one at divorce (my son's), and didn't know how much I would love and appreciate him. He became my dog and is a blessing to have. He's small, easy to care for, doesn't shed.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 05:55 PM
1

When a man asks this, he's curious and wants to compare, size you up, measure, etc. When a woman on a date asks, she wants to know how much money you make, your potential to provide, can she show you off, do you meet her minimum dating requirements, etc. Men and women are not the same. But there's no need to put your guard up once you're aware of why women ask. My ex wife's boyfriend lives on a golf course, has a boat, savings, a rental property, etc. I know because she told me about it. She mov…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 03:16 PM
3

I agree, and I think that the concept of marriage will need to change and modernize. Young people are not marrying for various reasons anyway. As it is now? Im trying to figure out how to teach my son that marriage is a risky business scam. And I'm totally fine if he someday has children out of wedlock. Hell, I'll babysit, just don't marry.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 09:33 PM
2

I went through a year of real grieving after my divorce. Then another 1 year of infrequent emotional breakdowns. The 3rd year I would get nostalgic sometimes then sad but not often and usually only when I thought about my son living in a single parent home. I'm almost 4 years out, and I LOVE being divorced now. When I do see my ex (child visitation weekends), and we chat for a few minutes, I feel relief when she leaves. Because the nagging never changed lol.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 09:23 PM
10

Her new husband will be posting on here in 10 to 20 years.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 09:08 PM
3

I read your story, and I think you should come back to post if and when you are in the divorce process. This post feels like relationship venting and polyamory troubles, which doesn't really fit the vibe in this sub.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/23 05:35 AM
1

Break away dude. Can't live miserable just because you want to keep the family together. I'm sure your wife is miserable too. It's understandable that society, family and friends exert pressure on us to get married, and some of us do it at young ages only to find ourselves unhappy many years later.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/23 09:28 PM
3

Congrats!! I remember being relieved when final decree was issued because there could be no changes in case she changed her mind about anything. It allows you to move on and leave it behind.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/23 07:29 PM
3

Lol additional to "find myself" mine was "I never lived on my own before. I want to see if I can." Less than 12 months later, living in another man's house 😄
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 01:10 AM
10

The last part is very important. Sex or reconciling will nullify the past adultery. I recommend divorcing, then dating/reconciling if you both still want to.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 02:42 PM
1

I agree, but when somebody is having a midlife crisis, you cannot reason with them. They have to go through with it, and the ex wife will need to decide if she will cope and wait or do as many others have and move on with her life. It's nobody's fault. OP cannot help feeling the way he does. He needs to go live his life and experience the world and go through his tunnel wherever it leads. A friend of mine just passed away at age 65 having only been divorced a year and separated for another. He w…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 05:09 AM
1

I have a feeling he won't be lonely for too long. He is ready to go.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 03:03 AM
1

I think go have fun. What's the age difference?
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 05:38 AM
5

Agreed, and it's men who do this to each other and make it this way. I hope it's changing. Women rally and support each other whereas men tend to withdraw when other men show emotions.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/22 04:22 PM
2

If you're juggling the kids around for activities, etc, spend dinner time with them. Then let the kids talk with mom, and use that time for yourself to relax, do some chores, have a nice shower, call friends/family, etc. Don't let it irritate you. It's good they want to talk to mom as long as you're getting some quality time too. You can set time limits if these calls are outrageously long because kids have homework, need to wind down and settle for bed, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/22 02:37 PM
4

I wouldn't either but tons of thirsty men would. Only way it could happen is because there are men fine with it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/22 04:56 PM
17

Yep, the children lose out, and that's part of divorces. My ex was "baffled" because we couldn't send our kid to fancy camps anymore. I refinanced to give her cash equity, which increased my COL plus she had her own COL increases from moving out and living separate. Your ex should refinance or sell.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/22 02:26 PM
8

When I divorced, I kept in mind that it's always a possibility to rekindle or get back together afterwards. But it was important to me to get divorced first and quickly to protect assets as much as I could. By thinking that way, I was able to bypass the male urge to possess his woman and beg her to stay. I really don't think you are"madly" in love with her. You (as so many other men) don't want to lose. So, get divorced first, then you can spend time learning if she is using you for money or hav…
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 03:38 AM
1

😁 definitely a whole topic of its own. However, even though OP mentions other women, if you look through his comments ITT, its at least apparent to me, he isn't happy in his marriage and is mismatched, which isn't fair to him or his wife. There are things he wants to try that you can't when you're stuck in a marriage. Many of us divorced men in our 40s and 50s+ had to or have to find ourselves since our identity was a married/family man. OP can now do that. He shouldn't have married in the first…
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 03:44 AM
1

Most of us in this divorce thread didn't live in "fantasy world" when we were married? Our marriages collapsed like a dying star too. So, based on your logic, we live in fantasy no matter what we choose. I swear, some of you in this thread....but I'll chalk it up to maybe divorce and separation are fresh and recent, so I'll be understanding of why so many comments seem terribly desperate to have a "good" woman.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 02:24 AM
-2

Can I ask why leaving his wife "is not worth all that fun?" If all she wants to do is sit on the couch every night watching Netflix, then I think there's a lot in the world worth more.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 10:33 PM
2

I agree, and remember that desire cannot be negotiated.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 10:27 PM
1

Some men need a woman to feel like they've made it in life, and others don't. One guy on here commented he would take a dead ugly wife if she was a good woman. No judgement, but I wouldn't. Is it possible you would regret a divorce? Possibly, but it's just as possible to be a great decision too. Regret of a life not lived authentically and true will sting much more when you're old and mortality hits you. I'll bet there's a compatibility issue in your relationship. Again, you were both 24 barely …
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 10:17 PM
-1

You were 24 years old when you married. You have no kids. I would divorce in your situation. It would be fair to both of you because 31 is really young. Better then turning 50 and feeling this way.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 09:55 PM
3

I agree with this but at the same time there are plenty of older men looking for relationships with a 30, 40 and 50 yo. Can't underestimate P Power. A 40 year old man looking to start a family might settle down with a 30 yo woman. On the flip side, OP is also young and his worth can increase as he ages. I sometimes wish I divorced in my early 30s or late 20s.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 03:45 PM
3

Reading this makes me feel crazy. Lol have to do all that, for what? Keep a nagging, sexless wife who is phasing into menopause in a few years?
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 06:22 PM
1

Protection order like restraining order but temporary
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 04:15 PM
6

I just read a thread in the marriage subreddit where a guy procrastinated signing up for health benefits but still had time to complete open enrollment. His wife threatened divorce for first time because of it. The responses from the women in that thread make me glad to be divorced. "We wouldn't nag if you understood the mental load we carry." Ugh no thanks lol I have full custody of my son, and one of his favorite lines to say after divorce is "we're bachelors baby!" Haha, love him. The house u…
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 05:47 PM
1

One thing to keep in mind is that none of this is stupid and you're not stupid. You're normal, and what you're doing is normal behavior when life as you know it shifts abruptly and there is uncertainty in your future. Men have different degrees of rationality in your situation. Some are good at compartmentalizing their emotions and able to proceed logically (this is not you). On the other extreme are men who feel a strong sense of possession, to "fight for us because at least I can say I tried t…
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 04:41 PM
1

You played golf with her and her boyfriend? They said you're welcome to visit their place and have Thanksgiving together? I really feel for you because you are so thick into the emotions that you don't see what is truly happening. But you will just like many others have. None of the scenarios that have been presented in this subreddit by anyone is or has been unique. There isn't any advice any of us could give you right now that you would listen to. You will suffer some more, but it is part of y…
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 03:22 PM
0

Her blaming you and telling you negative things is to make it easier for her to push you away because she wants to be with the other man. Keep your cool as much as possible so you can get as favorable an outcome as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 02:47 AM
17

How long was the marriage and how many, ages of kids? Edit: I saw 23 yrs, and 2 college age kids. Your grieving will start but you won't begin real healing until closer to final divorce date and after. Divorce decree makes it real because many times you will imagine she will change her mind (out of hope). In general You will need minimum 1 year after divorce to feel less emotional. If you are active in your healing, moving on, dating again, building a new life and identity, then you can be subst…
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/22 07:19 PM
2

But why? What's the prize? His kids are grown.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/22 12:50 AM
2

Man I'm so glad you posted this because I have felt this way the last couple years and I'm 3 yrs post divorce. I have a nagging feeling it was from the stress of divorce. Like I wondered if the cortisol levels at the time could have caused parts of my brain to just stop working. I'm functioning but spoken words don't come as easy as they used to and I'm definitely not performing at highest levels with work although my highest levels were above what requirements are.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/22 01:08 AM
1

Mine had a career. Great way for them to find another man to monkey branch to. And men aren't saints either. Many don't have a problem with mate poaching or having affairs with married women.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 07:56 PM
2

"But, I feel like if this has any chance (at this point it probably doesn't) I'm going to have to brush off the mean stuff and keep fighting for us, until the bitter end." Oh, sweet summer child. Maybe the love language guy who posted above will dm you what you should do. Even though I know what he sends you will be garbage, I think you should follow the love language advice he gives, try to do as much as you can in your soon to be ex wife's blueprint, etc. because some people need to be shown i…
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/22 06:04 PM
1

I included closing costs to calculate the equity to divide. It's logical, but it all depends on your ex, doesn't it lol
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 05:18 AM
6

Kanye, is that you? Tell Pete to gtfo
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 03:51 AM
23

Traveling alone is awesome when you've been used to family trips all the time. You pick where to go and do whatever the fuck you want to do without worrying about anyone else nagging. It can open your eyes too when you see some of those families looking stressed and irritable. Now that I'm a few yrs past my divorce, miserable couples are more noticeable and seem common. I recommend solo travel to help you move on and find your self again.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/22 06:10 PM
4

I have lots of love and positivity in my life. Friends I have never screwed me over. There have been people I've cut out. Lol dude, go get married again. Lol and make a couple of babies too.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/22 04:28 AM
8

I don't wish anything bad towards you. Don't feel bad for me. Just stop calling other men bitter because they've grown wiser.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/22 04:12 AM
2

Yep. My brother is currently losing $$thousands due to a woman he thought was "really special" only a year ago. Can't tell these guys anything when they're in love. This is #2 for him. He says never again, but he is the type who will get played again. Limerence is real.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/22 04:02 AM
5

Why not go for #3 when the next lady gives you a wink and some attention? Then you could really give away your golden years properly and she can gain what she needs. /s
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/22 03:50 AM
11

We were married once, some of us have children, so nobody here is an incel. The fact you even mention that about divorced men tells me you are making a mistake getting married again. "I loved my first ex wife enough to get married, so I should marry this new soon to be ex wife too. Because I love her." Lmao Some men are easy pickings when it comes PP (pussy power). There are going to be some bitter guys depending on how much trauma was experienced in the divorce, but there's nothing wrong with t…
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/22 03:39 AM
5

Love to read this.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/22 07:02 PM
4

But love is forever and you can't put a price on love./s
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 04:21 PM
3

Became more social allowed myself days to feel miserable Gym, jogging outdoors Spent time outdoors with my son and dog Joined social sport league Dating Shopping therapy, clothes for the divorce weight loss Took solo vacation trips, weekend getaways just by myself. Felt weird at first but was nice being alone on a trip doing whatever you felt like doing Finally bought my "divorce car" 2 yrs after divorce
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 07:29 AM
2

Especially For a wife who has a law degree.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/22 02:55 PM
1

Best to get out sooner. I doubt alimony will be awarded. She has an education and career. Maybe temporary alimony for a year. The longer your friend stays married and if he has children, it increases likelihood. If they love in an apartment, even better.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/22 08:34 PM
2

For some reason, nurses cheat a lot. My brother has banged 2 married nurses in the past.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/22 08:32 PM
2

It's alright. I'm fine. I like sharing what I know about this subject. I'm actually very self aware and have been since a child. I've seen violence between my parents as a toddler, other hardships, etc. I have other problems, but a midlife crisis won't be one lol. I was actively trying NOT to be the rock in so many peoples lives, but lately I've become more accepting of that trait in me. I considered being a rock a problem. And I don't invalidate OP and I don't put any blame. He can't help it, h…
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/22 03:55 AM
2

Not invalidating, and none of us knew who we were at 20. I married that young too. My ex wife is going through a midlife crisis, and she grew up upper middle class.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/22 03:36 AM
2

"I'm such a loser." "I had no fucking idea who I was." "We both had terrible parents and came from nothing." "My life is halfway over....I haven't lived it yet." "I have a great house, car, job, no debt." "My goal of raising my first kid is over." "I can't figure anything out anymore." "I don't even know who I am." His wife is the one that will need help and encouragement because OP will go through his tunnel, and it could take years. Things are too "normal" in his life. His wife will be wonderi…
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/22 02:28 AM
2

Could be, if he wasn't really muscling through it and is only saying that recently. . It's like my ex saying things like I "held her back" in her career or "got her pregnant" to make her stuck. Neither were true, and as she's come out of her tunnel sometimes, she apologized for these absurdities. But the clues aren't really in the things he writes about his marriage
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/22 11:52 PM
2

Everything about your post is about existence and very much midlife crisis feelings. Your wife, your kids, nobody else has anything to do with it. These feelings are bubbling up from your childhood. If you are having a midlife crisis, you aren't really yourself. You will rewrite the history of your life to match the desperation you feel. It's a tunnel, and you have no choice but to go through it. People in your life will have no choice but to watch you go through it. If your wife tries to help, …
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/22 04:17 PM
1

Are you reconsidering divorce from your wife? And you want somone to convince you not to do it? Edit: just saw your post. Let me read that and I'll message you.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/22 03:44 PM
4

I did it, and it was helpful and therapeutic to share my story and listen to others. There's a Christian spin to it, but I'm glad there's a service like that for people. Everyone in the group made progress in their emotional state afterwards.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/22 05:57 AM
3

I'm very sure your wife is thinking the same thing: I like my lifestyle. What would be terrible is you decide to keep it going, and then she meets the man of her dreams and leaves you anyway. For some of us, the older we get, the more compelling it is to live life because "life is short" and lifestyle becomes less important. As kids get older, you can start questioning why are you trapped in a lifestyle with someone that doesn't love you or you know you don't really love them. Your wife doesn't …
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/21 07:16 PM
1

Since you claim the main worry you have is the relationship with your daughter, I'm going to say this. You are in another state doing FaceTime and visiting when you can, so what relationship are you building with your child anyway that a divorce would make different? This is why I'm doubtful you're that worried about your relationship with your child. I think you are more upset that another man has taken your place in your open relationship. Ask yourself if you really want to be in an open relat…
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/21 06:52 PM
2

Lol, meant 50%. Multiply whatever
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/21 01:07 AM
4

Think of everything you both have, then divide by 50. This is your starting point.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/21 06:36 PM
16

Can't imagine when she files for divorce in another 12 years how much debt you would be on the hook for.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/21 08:39 PM
3

And that rate doesn't count the number of unhappy marriages that don't divorce and the people just settle or suffer through it. What kind of life is that?
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/21 05:39 AM
2

Never again, but it was a good experience. I wish I went into marriage like a lease agreement. That way I wouln't have bullshit idea about "till death do us part." Haha that now sounds so crazy to me. Lmao "I vow forever to have and to hold..."
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/21 05:31 AM
1

Fuk her. That's all you need to tell yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/21 04:43 AM
6

She is not an amazing woman. It will take time for you to really see that.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/21 12:00 PM
1

After 20 yrs of marriage, nobody went back to even the first 15 yrs to calculate where every penny went. OP once you withdraw cash, it's considered gone. Good luck on the stbxw trying to prove its existence. Tell the court you spent it on booze, hookers, and bad business dealings. Imagine being in court exclaiming "your honor, she gave money to her dad for heart surgery in year 2 of our marriage, I want half of it back!"
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/21 11:44 PM
1

Then he can turn it around on her for all the money she spent on handbags, trips with her girlfriends, and gifts to her own parents.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/21 10:34 PM
2

You're allowed to give gifts, gamble your earnings away, etc. That won't be looked at as fraud especially if it is years before divorce is ever thought about. Also, you both agreed to personal spending money. You could spend all of it on booze and prostitutes, and that money would be gone and not considered fraud or part of any asset split. Just be careful of perception when you're ever close to separation or divorce. I would just not get married, but at least you're looking ahead. Many of these…
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/21 10:31 PM
5

So you started off with her explaining how you felt unloved, then she unloaded on you about how she really feels too. She checked out, and revealing your feelings cemented her feelings. Divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/21 04:21 AM
2

What you're feeling is normal. Try not to put your stbxw on a pedestal though. She's divorcing you to be with another man, so tell yourself to hell with her and that other guy can have her. You are young dude. Some of us get divorced after 20 yrs and are in our 40s+. You will be fine. It will take you less than a year to get over her and the life you thought you had I'll bet. Just be patient, you'll see.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/21 05:51 PM
1

I would treat it as marital debt with cosignature as supporting evidence. This seems reasonable and not like a "scheme" as someone else replied. Treat this like business, and not like the typical man who lets things go however they go because it makes him feel honorable. A scheme imo is more like someone trying to hide assets or create new debt, quitting their job, selling items to relatives, false domestic violence claims etc.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/21 12:53 AM
2

Maybe you aren't aware of some of the studies out there right now about this phenomenon. But even the women who are financially stable on their own, continue to seek men who are a level or more above them. Think about why. Men are increasingly looking for a woman who can financially handle her own, however, not at the same urgency as women. So, you aren't keen on the idea that even financially independent women seek men with similar or higher earning potential. But you do have a good notion abou…
/r/MGTOW224/07/21 07:33 AM
1

I understand others' comments about getting a lawyer, however, if your ex is in affair fog and wanting to be done quick and easy then you don't want to upset her. A lawyer is going to try and manipulate you into pursuing for more (both parties), and it could start a chain reaction. I'm in a different state, filed uncontested, did everything myself. I went to a lawyer ONE time to go over which documents I need. The lawyer kept asking what assets I had to split, I lied and said "we have nothing". …
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/21 07:18 AM
6

The pastor also was compensated by Ben Zobrist on a charity Zobrist founded. Zobrist also donated lots of money to the pastor over the years. The pastor counseled Zobrist about the divorce all while banging Zobrist's wife. Scummy men are definitely a big problem too. It sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/21 01:59 PM
2

Vent here if you need to. You can't stop the pain so don't even try. What you can do is take it 1 step at a time. Spend time outdoors, cry, workout, cry some more, shop for groceries, cry again, rearrange or redecorate your place, and cry again, etc. Release the pain early on. Lean on family sometimes. They won't mind in the beginning. Also, even though you are in shock and in a fog, keep moving forward. Do not try to "win" her back. She got an apartment behind your back so she isn't on your sid…
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/21 08:28 PM
4

After seeing a trickle more info below I have a feeling much of what you described applies to SoCalmom lol. People really aren't unique in this world, and there are similar play by play behaviors in every situation. If OP is more worried about keeping her boyfriend, then she shouldn't have gone hard for custody.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/21 08:19 PM
2

So, do you have a job? Where does your son go when you are at work? It doesn't matter if the dad hires a babysitter for your son during the day so he can have dinner and night and possibly mornings to see his child.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/21 08:16 PM
2

Other states have common law marriages, I guess California uses a more fancy word for it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/21 06:59 PM
3

This is why. You presented yourself to the public as married, and a ceremony is evidence of that. Things like wearing rings, using each others names or titles like "Mrs", etc.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/21 06:58 PM
1

May I ask your ages? Perimenopause and pre-menopausal is a real thing.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/21 06:47 PM
2

That is a terrible plan. How old are you? Guarantee she will divorce you before you turn 50 anyway, then you'll be pissed. Divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/21 03:15 AM
3

I had a favorable divorce. Lucky that ex was reasonable but much of that was due to her being being in an affair fog and wanted to rush the process, and I used that to my advantage. I have full custody, she pays child support which will offset 66% of the cash she received when I refinanced the house I kept. The house has appreciated in value 20% since the divorce too. Felt like walking a tight rope because a few times before the divorce was final she would get angry and say things like I should …
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/21 06:34 PM
13

Didn't even matter that I worked a high paying corporate job. She was jealous her career didn't take off like mine. Never mind that she never really focused on being better in her career or put in the same amount of care. When we divorced she admitted her resentment. Blamed me for holding her back. At the same time, told me I took her for granted for working so much. Can't win. After divorce, she switched jobs to something with higher pay, more responsibility, and more stress. 6 months later, on…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/21 04:25 AM
1

They're not married, been engaged for 4 yrs. Soon as they bought a house together, he finds out she has another man she's been boning.
/r/MGTOW223/06/21 07:50 PM
3

I have full custody which takes away a lot of the coparenting stress but otherwise we have been able to sit down and do some planning, etc. 1st year after divorce was more emotional than now at 2yrs out. Also, it's nice being the one in control and she has to ask permission for anything outside of our custody arrangement. I'm at the neighborhood pool with my son right now on my lunch break enjoying my time. She texted to say Happy Father's Day. I just said thank you, but in my head I know she wa…
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/21 04:22 PM
2

There usually is someone in their ear. You'll be fine, hang in there
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/21 04:15 PM
3

Awesome, and that's why I celebrated because i know that means I'll be done having her show up in my dreams sometime soon. Glad to hear your experience because I'm sure I'm on track.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/21 02:40 AM
2

I feel the same way. 20 years, so feelings will always be there. But when I see her, she isn't looking as good these days either and I really love my freedom right now. It's nice.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/21 01:44 AM
8

Is she talking about reconciliation? Move on from that, and don't let thoughts of getting back together get in the way of you detaching. Go through the pain of the divorce, don't hold it in. That way you will come out the other side and be better for it. I'm about 2 yrs out from divorce, and since then I would have dreams of us getting back together. I would wake up feeling sad after. Many of those dreams were of me asking her to try again. But recently I had a dream for the first time that she …
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/21 05:46 PM
6

Bittersweet is right, but hang in there. Time for sure will help you feel better. Take time to wallow in whatever feelings you have today and soon after. Then Take time to do something that makes you feel good. Favorite foods, a trip, activity, friends or family.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/21 04:00 PM
3

You're done. Don't waste money on marriage counseling. Get divorced. The#1 reason I see here is related to sex, it's important to you, you won't get it from your wife. Everything else is extraneous in this case. You're fit, you're horny, and you are itching to be single again. Nothing inherently wrong or bad because that is your biology. Maybe there is another woman that has caught your attention already, a very common occurrence. This shows it isn't just a woman thing or a man thing. Yes, kids …
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/21 02:22 PM
1

I don't think most people that divorce married the wrong person. People and life changes over time. Maybe the concept of marriage for our society is outdated. I'm not angry, but there are things I'm angry about. After my "forever" blew up in my face of which I contributed, I now know that for most people marriage isn't going to be a forever thing anymore. I'm a lot more practical about it after divorce. I loved being married until I didn't. Out of 20 years, I'd say 18 were awesome. Have a really…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/21 06:46 PM
3

Even though Will Smith is still married, that man is not happy that his wife had an affair with their son's friend. 12 is definitely spot on. I know after 20 yrs, I was tired of always having to be "on" for my ex to make sure she was not bored, her career was doing well, etc. Then when I dealt with career burnout for a couple of years she couldn't be bothered to care about how I felt. Never again.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/21 05:49 PM
2

Honestly though, most people are never going to know red flags are red flags until it's too late. Especially men who fall so "deep in love." Even when friends or family point them out.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/21 05:45 PM
2

Calculate whatever rough amount of the home equity she gets, which should be documented as part of your settlement agreement. Don't just go by a verbal agreement. The final amount to give her can be adjusted to whatever you both agree on. Mine deducted closing costs as an example. Start the refi process and the bank will require an appraisal which you can use in your final calculation of equity. You will get a new mortgage that roughly equals the payoff of the original plus your ex's equity. Onc…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/21 08:56 PM
2

Sorry that you are going through this. It isn't fair to either partners in a mixed orientation marriage especially when the LGBT partner lives repressed. You should begin the process of detaching. Time will heal. Don't think of this as losing either. A gay man or woman who grew up in a conservative or religious household and community deal with such a burden during childhood, adolescence and adulthood. Many times they struggle with their sexual identities because of fear of judgement or physical…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/21 08:20 PM
5

It sucks. Seems this situation is more common than people think. Was the marriage good otherwise? Not even sure if it's better than being told "I love you but I'm not in love with you." You're still young enough to make a new life for yourself, but I understand that you had one already planned. What you should hope and strive for now is an amicable split if possible.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/21 06:40 PM
3

I would consider it family money if they were together much longer and/or they had children. But she contributed nothing to the "family". In fact, if she were a man she would be seen as a moocher, a freeloader taking advantage. You could argue she gave him her biological time. He locked her in like an option that he could call in order to have children, start a family. He took her off the market. You could calculate an amount for this lost time on her part less what was spent for her living expe…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/21 04:45 AM
1

Cash. No discovery will find cash consistently withdrawn for your alcohol, gambling, traveling, charity, shopping habits.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/21 05:38 PM
1

And I bet with being married only 3 yrs with similar incomes and education and no children or house, he could just walk away without alimony. Agree, file now.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/21 03:44 AM
2

It will pass. I thought it never would, and everyone said time heals. I hated it. First 6 months after divorce especially. Woke up every morning 5am with heart palpitations and panic. Would never get back to sleep because you could physically feel the shots of adrenaline and cortisol releasing into your bloodstream. Around 10 months it wasn't every morning anymore. Maybe 2-3 times a week. A weighted blanket helped. Now 1.5 yrs later, maybe once a month I'll experience it. But even when it does, …
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/21 05:34 PM
1

Don't have to stay married if he's immature. He can explore that and grow after divorcing. Why wait several more years to mature and see if the feeling will change? You can always remarry later, but you never gain back your youth. There are no obligations here, no kids, no huge financial ties. A split would be quick. Plenty of "soul mates" out there especially at his age. He could take time to mature, learn about himself and remarry in his 30s if he wanted to or stay single. Feeling this way in …
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/21 06:32 PM
1

If he feels this way so early in his marriage, best thing to do is get out of it now instead of 15 yrs later. He is about 25 yrs old and only been with his wife 3.5 yrs.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/21 06:10 PM
8

Lots of peace and quiet. No nagging me, nagging my son, nagging my dog.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/21 10:15 PM
8

1 especially after going through it once. 3 she hasn't even processed her own divorce. This could be her way of trying to show up her ex: "look at me, I have a new husband, nanny nanny boo boo" Based on what you shared, I wouldn't even be in a serious relationship with this woman.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/21 05:09 AM
3

Just last bit and you're done. At least the divorce is finalized by the court. Congrats! It's like walking on a tight rope for us guys. Even tho mine was amicable and uncontested, I was nervous throughout the entire time from filing to final decree.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/21 09:50 PM
3

My advice is to back off. Just be consistent in your behavior towards her. You don't need to fix her or anything. A lot of it is probably puberty.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/21 07:00 PM
1

You will with that attitude and outlook.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/21 08:51 PM
2

I have learned that many women get into marriages with good men but aren't really attracted to their husbands. These women tell themselves that the attraction will come with time, he's a good man. But in the end they can't deny their biology anymore. Based on your post, seems she was never attracted to you and used sexual trauma as her reason. There is no trauma. Move on as best as you can.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/21 05:57 PM
11

You will make it through. There are plenty of tough days especially for those of us who built our lives around a family unit. But there are also good days when we find ourselves, and we have always been there hidden underneath all of it. I'm about 2 yrs out from my divorce, and I still get sad but I see my ex and I'm not interested in ever being together again if it's ever an option. Weird feeling.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/21 08:07 PM
5

I joined a divorce group. It helped to hear other people share their grief and even relief. It also allows you to open up while having a set learning agenda throughout that time. In 3 months our group transformed from really down in the dumps to a lot more positive in our grieving process. The pain continued to come in waves until about a year after my divorce. Those painful waves would keep me in bed most of the day or give me no appetite. I still feel some sadness often but not as strong as be…
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/20 07:27 PM
9

You aren't a failure because of divorce. Many of us have felt the same. I was married about 2 decades, have a kid and felt like a loser for a few months. Sometimes when my mind wanders I feel it a little. But if I can move forward at age 40 then you can too.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/20 04:39 AM
1

First step is get familiar with the process in your jurisdiction and download copies of the forms you need. Look here: www.texasattorneygeneral.gov/child-support/get-started
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/20 08:56 PM
1

Only 2 rational and objective adults can do it without lawyers, and even then it is like walking on a thin line. Your ex won't know you went to a lawyer unless you retain them and they contact your ex for information. If you and your ex do the paperwork, notarization, etc. then your lawyer could do the filing and making sure everything is complete. The lawyer wouldn't need to contact your ex for anything. That could provide some peace of mind for you, especially since you have doubts about every…
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/20 07:50 PM
2

Courts can order back pay before an order is issued especially if an ex pursues it. There's usually a time limitation depending on the state. Keep receipts if you can for non-ordered child support payments. Was your spouse a stay at home wife? Child support for my kid calculated to $1500/mo of which my ex is responsible for $600 and me the rest. She had income although I was the breadwinner.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/20 07:41 PM
0

Yes, it's better IF 1) you are capable of doing the necessary preparation and filing of documents. You could always pay a lawyer for an hour consultation to look over your paperwork if you want more comfort that everything is complete 2) your ex is fine and in agreement not to use a lawyer Even if your ex is in full agreement with you on the amount, if she goes to a lawyer, the first thing they are going to do is tell her "you know, if you want, you could get $xxxx amount..." If both of you are …
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/20 07:27 PM
0

Yes. Judges do look at numbers, but they see this crap all the time so I'm sure they prefer couples work it out amongst themselves. I know my ex and I were both worried up until the judge signed off on our documents. She was worried that she would be ordered to pay more in support. lol and I was worried that I would have to do some alimony or something. But in the end, the judge just wanted us in and out. However, keep in mind that they try to look at it from the child's point of view. Showing y…
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/20 07:20 PM
2

$640 must be a lot different from what you're paying now based on your reaction to it. My ex was calculated to pay me $725 but we deducted $125 so she only pays $600/mo now. I don't feel upset about it because she has been paying for things like a couple of extra curriculars, clothes, etc in addition to the child support. $600 may seem like a lot but put it in perspective too. That is a car payment. Car payment vs your own child? Anyway, my exW would try and boo hoo about it and say the same thi…
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/20 07:09 PM
1

That's the rule in GA. College isn't a consideration for child support unless the patents make an agreement for it.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/20 04:18 AM
1

Kudos dude. Enjoy yourself
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/20 03:55 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter