doing_my_best_co Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	How do I protect myself? Life is a zero sum game. You start and end in the same place. Everything you get, you will lose. Either slowly over time or all at once in some tragically quick ending. The only way to not lose anything is to not gain anything, but paradoxically to never have anything is the greatest loss of all. When they leave you, it hurts. And nothing is going to spare you that. Financially, if they make about the same money as you and have the same spending habits as you then you will do alright at divorce …	/r/Divorce_Men	10/05/22 03:31 PM
2	What are some not so obvious red flags us younger men should look out for? Good catch. It did ask for flags. My second ex had a triple digit body count and she had disconnected sex from intimacy which is not a good thing for a long term relationship. When someone tells you they had a “slut phase”, this is like Charles Manson saying he had a “murderer phase “. At the end, the second wife wanted to go back to her authentic self. Lovely.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/04/22 11:53 AM
2	What are some not so obvious red flags us younger men should look out for? Body count over 20.	/r/Divorce_Men	29/04/22 06:59 PM
2	I Don’t Know What to do. Oh my god, get a lawyer. This is what they were invented for. You can’t afford not to have one. You are not going to reconcile. But if you did, the more assets you retain, the more valuable you are in reconciliation. You want half your 401k back, easy, marry me. But that is not going to happen. Get what you can. Post divorce life is rough and it is even rougher if you are broke. Depending on your state a mediator can be fair to both of you. But just one attorney is going to crucify the person th…	/r/Divorce_Men	28/04/22 09:44 PM
2	I caught my wife cheating two months ago after we just got back together last year. I filed for divorce now she’s saying she doesn’t want a divorce. It’s really messing with me. The last Ho -rah thing is so real. My ex hit it after starting Whore-moan therapy.	/r/Divorce_Men	28/04/22 05:12 AM
1	What could have saved your relationship? Hey op. Hope it does not happen to you. But getting a divorce is like getting cancer. There may be some things that might help, ( like not smoking cigarettes) but you can do everything right and it just happens anyway. Sure, stay away from the crazy stuff like addition, abuse, infidelity. Try to stay connected and close to your spouse. Best of luck to you.	/r/Divorce_Men	25/04/22 02:15 AM
2	Gender role reversal and divorce In my world, the first person who had sex with someone else initiated the break up. I initiated the divorce with my first wife after she moved two time zones away and started having an affair. I still feel like I was dumped. And my second wife was looking to keep me as a house keeper while she had sex with random strangers and not me. Once that option was removed, divorce was the only path forward. Think she technically filled. That one we used a mediator. So given that my marriage had its monog…	/r/Divorce_Men	22/04/22 05:03 AM
3	Gender role reversal and divorce I would say approximately 90% of the women leaving men typically complain about their man not caring for the kids enough, not helping around the house enough and spending too much time on manly hobbies. With rich guys they complain that they never have time for them and now, I have heard it all: “I am leaving because his helping with the kids is not manly enough. “4 Face it. Women fall out of love with their husbands and then they have to find some excuse to leave them because if they say “my ex…	/r/Divorce_Men	22/04/22 03:38 AM
2	Cooking for Yourself I love left overs,. I cook for four and eat the same thing for a few days.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/22 03:53 AM
1	keeping a secret Oh, and my second x was in your kids situation when she was a teenager. Her dad was cheating on her mom and she found out. She confronted her dad and told him he had to tell mom. Mom blamed the divorce on my x ( the kid) and resented her for years. Yeah, and dad was not too happy with her either. That was her reward for doing right by the person being cheated on. So yeah , I get how awful you feel and how awful it is for you. But as a third party observer your children were in a worse spot and t…	/r/Divorce_Men	09/04/22 03:24 PM
0	keeping a secret I am so sorry this happened to you. I am even sorrier that it happened to your kids. They really were in a no win awful situation. They tell you: moms mad, your mad, and the family definitely splits. They don’t: moms fine, dads fine, maybe mom comes around and everything is ok. Sure poor dad is being abused and I don’t like how he is being treated. Honestly, look at the difference in outcomes. It is horrible that your kids new. I now you are feeling bad and I would be furious if I was in your po…	/r/Divorce_Men	09/04/22 03:08 PM
5	Working on being grateful for our time together regardless of how it ended. You will go through all different types of emotions as you heal. This grateful spot is kind of nice. I am at a spot where I see my last 20 year marriage as a phase in my life that is now over. I am still mourning the loss but every aspect of my life has improved since the dissolution of my marriage . Every day, I feel a bit better. You will get there.	/r/Divorce_Men	06/04/22 05:48 AM
3	What do you do when you miss sex So there is the general stress, anxiety and depression of breaking your most important bond. When you are with another woman you have sex with, those feelings temporarily go away. Euphoria trumps depression. But once you are alone again, the feeling of that bond breaking will be back. The connection you make with a new woman does not actually replace the old connection. They are separate. Be careful because the bad feeling of your girlfriend being away is not you missing your girlfriend. Anyhow,…	/r/Divorce_Men	25/03/22 09:59 PM
1	How do y’all feel about ever getting married again? After going through a divorce you realize that marriage is a financial relationship where the higher earner guarantees a lifetime living condition to the lower earner and the lower earner guarantees the higher earner absolutely nothing. So as a high earner that is done having kids , what exactly is in it for me? The lower earner is actually incentivized to leave the marriage. They can collect from the former spouse while letting the new significant other cover other expenses. I think I want to b…	/r/Divorce_Men	24/03/22 03:13 AM
3	Feeling like a failure after divorce So when you wife leaves you their are 6 things to grieve/ deal with: 1. The humiliating feeling of rejection and abandonment 2. The loss of your best friend/ romantic interest/ partner in life 3. The loss of your nuclear family 4. The loss of your plans for your future. 5. The loss of the person themselves. 6. Your new financial reality What is difficult about all of these things is that you miss the person that you are also angry at for causing these issues. Try to separate your grief and allow…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/03/22 05:05 AM
1	Got my divorce papers in the mail today… I’m feeling so empty! Salvation is on the other side. These painful milestones mark your progress on your way to peace. Write them down: get the papers, go to court, settle finances, file last tax return together, etc. While they really suck, as they pass, you never have to do them again. Your new life will be better than your current life and when these milestones go by you are another step closer to that new life and putting your current life in the past.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/03/22 04:24 AM
2	A wound that doesn't seem to want to heal. Yeah , it is tough. My ex and I were friends and as her friend I want her to be happy. I hold no animosity to her and her happiness would benefit my children. As a former romantic interest I do not want to see that happiness . I have texted my x this and essentially explained that I am happy to coordinate things and change schedules, to accommodate our new lives. I need to minimize the times we see each other and speak as it just exasperates or triggers my grief. In other words you need to logis…	/r/Divorce_Men	13/03/22 01:54 PM
6	Help with bringing divorce up Talk to an attorney. File for divorce. You are as entitled to all of the property as she is. Don’t assume you will lose everything. Be prepared to spend some money on this process. Do not procrastinate. This process only gets more expensive as time goes on. If you are sure ( and you sound sure) act immediately. You are young and have the opportunity for a do over. Don’t waste any more time on this dead relationship.	/r/Divorce_Men	09/03/22 08:07 PM