TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

dorky2 Archive

View 0 posts and 201 comments by dorky2 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

When you say 'you' it sounds like you're accusing me of all of those terrible things. I haven't done any of that, not willingly or knowingly, and in fact I've done my best to fight those harmful practices. Please don't make assumptions about me. I'm just trying to figure this all out too.
/r/MensRights12/07/12 01:48 AM
2

OK, this I can respond to. First of all, I haven't been learning about men's issues for 20 years; I'm new to feminism and masculism. Please be patient with me. From my point of view, I'm noticing all kinds of inequality and I'm indignant about how men and women are oppressed in the society we've set up. The system isn't working for anyone as far as I can tell. All individuals are damaged by rigid gender roles and expectations, and by harmful stereotypes. When I hear feminists blaming men and tal…
/r/MensRights12/07/12 01:43 AM
1

I'm going to keep trying to share my point of view with my fellow feminists. More often than not, they are open to hearing it. I have hope.
/r/MensRights12/07/12 01:32 AM
1

It sounds like you'd rather be right and vindicated in your hatred of me than help me learn anything. I guess we're done here.
/r/MensRights11/07/12 10:28 PM
2

We disagree on some things and have different perspectives on some things. That doesn't mean that I hate you or disrespect you. But the tone of your comment is not, "let's have a conversation," it's "you're wrong, bitch." That's not helpful, and I'm not going to engage with you if you treat me like this.
/r/MensRights11/07/12 09:58 PM
2

Yes. However, I don't think that would be thorough/complete. It's not only women who oppress men. Both men and women perpetuate societal norms that hurt men (and women). Women are not your enemy.
/r/MensRights11/07/12 09:54 PM
1

Fair enough, I can agree with most of that.
/r/MensRights11/07/12 08:56 PM
1

I see exactly the same problem in the MRM community. The movement purports to be about equality, but it often devolves into He-Man Woman Hating. My whole point is that in order for us to make progress we all have to be honest about our privileges and the ways we contribute to oppression. If all we do is point fingers (which is what I see you doing) we will not make progress.
/r/MensRights11/07/12 08:42 PM
1

My friends and I are feminism. You are talking to an exception right here.
/r/MensRights11/07/12 08:31 PM
2

They do. They have different privileges than women, and different oppressions. We all have privilege.
/r/MensRights11/07/12 08:06 PM
0

I identify as a feminist, and I believe none of those things. All of my feminist friends, even the ones who are more 'militant' than me, see much more nuance in gender relations. What I see you doing is making sweeping generalizations about a huge and diverse group of people based only on the actions of a few of the loudest ones. It's no different from when feminists say that MRAs are a bunch of whiny neckbeards who live in their mothers' basements and think they are entitled to sex with whomeve…
/r/MensRights11/07/12 08:04 PM
2

Nice chatting with you. Looks like we come at this from different perspectives but share quite a bit of common ground.
/r/MensRights11/07/12 07:56 PM
1

I think we can do it all at once; in fact, I think the only way we can get it done is by doing it all at once.
/r/MensRights11/07/12 07:41 PM
1

You can't put your arm around someone's neck, tell them you want to work with them to make the world better, while also claiming they're oppressing you but they're still somehow lesser than you... Well said. Like the article said, we are all oppressing each other and until we realize that we're not just victims but also perpetrators, there will be no coming to any understanding.
/r/MensRights11/07/12 07:39 PM
1

I guess you and I have different definitions of feminism. I don't see it as an industry, but as an idea, the idea that men and women are inherently equal. And that idea will be supported and advanced by any progress made toward practical equality. I think it's a moot point to compare it to religion, since God is by definition unproveable.
/r/MensRights11/07/12 07:17 PM
1

I believe the two go hand-in-hand. Our laws and how we interpret them are a product of who we are as a society.
/r/MensRights11/07/12 07:12 PM
1

I would argue that these 'advancements' don't actually benefit women in the long run if they really do harm men. Actual inroads to equality will benefit everyone and if they don't then it's not real advancement, or it's only a temporary benefit that will come back and bite us later. But overall I disagree with your assessment of the state of things and the amount of damage feminism has done to men. We have different perspectives on it. I agree that the spirit of the MRA movement is not to underm…
/r/MensRights11/07/12 07:11 PM
1

You seem to be looking at it as a zero-sum game, where feminism has to somehow suffer in order for masculism to succeed. If feminists really are honest, it's not to their detriment but to everyone's benefit.
/r/MensRights11/07/12 07:01 PM
0

I agree, but I think that both sides need to recognize their privilege and humble themselves. In no way do I think that feminism has a corner on selfish, self-righteous myopia. I guess if you feel like feminism is the problem, and the only problem, it turns out we don't agree on the problem at all.
/r/MensRights11/07/12 06:54 PM
2

From my perspective, both feminists and MRAs are prone to the mindset that it's all about them. That somehow they're the only ones who are suffering from the status quo, or that only their suffering is important. I feel like if we can humble ourselves and recognize 1) that everyone suffers from this inequality and 2) that everyone will benefit from advances made by either side, we can ultimately come to the conclusion that we're all on the same side. Are my hopes too high? I know I'm kind of an …
/r/MensRights11/07/12 06:36 PM
3

Thanks for sharing your perspective, it made me look at some of the ideas differently. But do you really think that it's impossible for feminists and the MRM to work together? I know we don't work well together, but if we make it a mutual goal don't you think there's potential to work together for everyone's benefit?
/r/MensRights11/07/12 06:06 PM
2

I guess I read it a bit differently than you did, especially the bit about feminists supporting masculism. It benefits everyone, including ourselves, when we support equal rights for all. I support men because I believe they have a right to be free from gender stereotypes and the oppression that our society puts on them. But I also understand that if I am successful in my efforts to help free men from this oppression, it will benefit me as well. Does that make sense? Not that I care about men's …
/r/MensRights11/07/12 05:41 PM
4

I encourage you to continue reading. This part turned me off too, and I thought it misrepresented the spirit of the men's rights movement. But there's more good stuff in there. I don't think we should dismiss the entire article because there's part of it we don't like. I think it's absolutely true that we can't liberate one gender without liberating both. For every damaging stereotype about women, there is an equal and opposite one about men. As the article said, feminists have the tools and exp…
/r/MensRights11/07/12 04:50 PM
3

or C) he is trolling to get a rise out of you.
/r/MensRights24/08/11 09:55 PM
5

Right, because the mark of a mature adult is that they play manipulative psychological games with potential mates.
/r/MensRights24/08/11 09:47 PM
10

I am disgusted by all of you. In a subreddit dedicated to the idea that the sexes are equal, you are circle-jerking about how women are inferior to men. This is no more helpful to the cause of equality than man-hating so-called 'feminism.' Shame on you.
/r/MensRights24/08/11 09:44 PM
10

Wow, do you realize what an ass you sound like? I'm really disappointed that that is the message you took away from what I said.
/r/MensRights24/08/11 09:41 PM
-2

I agree that it's a shitty thing for a person to do, but I think it's probably more common for a woman to 'chicken out' or just be a flake than to agree to a date without ever intending to do it. It doesn't make it ok, but you shouldn't think that women are doing this because they want to hurt you; they're much more likely just self-involved and not thinking at all about how their behavior is affecting other people. Also, as a general rule, I find that people who lie about things willy-nilly are…
/r/MensRights24/08/11 04:58 PM
2

Yeah, I totally agree with you that she was off-base. No one in any of the comments I read made the point that he has a right to make her uncomfortable. He did not threaten her in any way, by word or by gesture, and if she felt threatened it was because of her own prejudice against him. A clued-in guy would probably have known better than to ask a strange woman to come to his room in an elevator, at 4 am. So if anything, the dude was guilty of not being suave. In no way did he show any signs of …
/r/MensRights12/07/11 03:39 AM
2

Yup. Double standard.
/r/MensRights12/07/11 03:28 AM
1

That's a fair enough assessment, but it is my feeling that a little validation can go a long way in helping someone recognize the strength in themselves to change things. I'm sure you and I come from different circumstances, because everybody does, but I know that the turning point for me getting out of my victim mentality was when someone finally acknowledged to me that I had been wronged. The indifference of the world can be so overwhelming to someone who feels that life has been cruel to them…
/r/MensRights12/07/11 01:10 AM
2

To be fair, I have heard the phrase "should have kept her knees together" used in a situation like that... but yeah, the prevailing opinion is exactly what you described.
/r/MensRights12/07/11 01:05 AM
4

I think it's hard to accept advice when people are missing the point of your issue. Let's take an extreme example here and think about how you would respond to someone who's been through something like, oh, say the Holocaust. You have to start by acknowledging that the person has been wronged before you jump in with, "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, kiddo!" It's true that he needs to figure out some coping strategies so he can go on with his life, but I think before he can be open to that t…
/r/MensRights12/07/11 12:34 AM
5

I don't want to be insensitive, but your spelling and grammar are very poor. I don't know if you're just being laid back about your writing here because it's the internet or if you really don't know how to write well, but make sure you have other people look over your paper and edit/proofread it for you before you turn it in. Good luck!
/r/MensRights11/07/11 09:18 PM
2

I just want to point out that, while I agree it was ridiculous for Watson to call herself a victim when she clearly was not, everyone on MR keeps saying he asked her "out." He did not ask her out, he asked her to come to his hotel room. That's not the same thing. Your argument weakens when you subtly change the story like that. Make sure when you're commenting on stories about this kerfuffle, read the original article she wrote so you're informed about what actually happened.
/r/MensRights11/07/11 08:55 PM
1

OK, you make a valid point. But children cannot be made responsible for the well-being of other children. Yes, the children who did the bullying should be held accountable for their actions (I imagine (and hope) that living the rest of their lives with the knowledge that their victim killed himself will be difficult for them). But the adults in this child's life should have provided him with the tools and support he needed to get through this, as well as not allowing the bullying to continue. Hi…
/r/MensRights28/06/11 04:46 PM
1

Wait, your perception is that most mothers are like this, or that most people think it's ok for mothers to be like this?
/r/MensRights28/06/11 04:39 PM
1

You're right, the bullies are at fault. But it is a mother's responsibility to 1) raise the child to have some self-respect and confidence in himself and 2) be involved enough in his life to know when he needs help or support and to get him what he needs. Most kids will face bullies in their lives; kids are cruel creatures and will pick on people they perceive as weak. A mother needs to equip her child with the tools he needs to deal with people in the world, and at the very least provide a safe…
/r/MensRights28/06/11 04:37 PM
1

If I were to hazard a guess, it would be that a favorite theme in this subreddit is to illustrate the fallacy of the stereotype that moms are better parents than dads. Some people think that highlighting stories of terrible mothers is one way to share this message.
/r/MensRights28/06/11 04:51 AM
0

The mom was neglecting her child and his well-being. And I hope to God you are never in charge of a group of young people.
/r/MensRights28/06/11 04:49 AM
1

The bullying did not happen because of the kid's personality. This child was raised by someone with utter disregard for his well-being, and it's clear that this affected his self-respect and ability/willingness to stand up for himself. This is a clear case of neglect, and it is the mom's fault.
/r/MensRights28/06/11 04:47 AM
1

It's not sexist unless you assume that an individual you know nothing about knows more about cars than another individual you know nothing about, just because of their genders. That's how I see it, anyway. Generalizations do have their place.
/r/MensRights23/06/11 03:46 PM
6

Woman here. The only time I have felt like I am at a disadvantage to a man is when it comes to buying a car or having it repaired. For some reason, the auto industry doesn't seem to have caught on to the women-as-consumers thing and they treat me like I'm a pitiable, delicate thing who needs to be coddled at best, and as a moron who can be taken advantage of at worst. I definitely see vestiges of sexism when I deal with the older generation (like 50 and older), and it drives me crazy, but I feel…
/r/MensRights22/06/11 04:46 PM
3

I disagree with a lot of the "Male privilege checklist," largely because I think it's less and less true as time goes on. Thanks for taking the time to make a thoughtful response though.
/r/MensRights22/06/11 04:24 PM
7

You're not going to face a lot of argument on that point in this subreddit, but that wasn't the question, was it?
/r/MensRights22/06/11 04:18 PM
1

i am fully willing to engage in productive disscusion with twox, but as i say, respect must be a two way street This is true, but I think it's important to point out that in the face of disrespect it is often a more powerful statement not to engage than to return insult for insult.
/r/MensRights17/06/11 08:59 PM
5

I had a nightmare the other night that I gave birth to a son and my boyfriend decided we needed to circumcise him. I had to secretly escape with my baby to protect him from his crazy father. (We've discussed this IRL, my boyfriend's not circumcised and if we ever do have a son there's no way we'll do that to him.)
/r/MensRights07/06/11 06:27 PM
3

Fair enough. I can't argue with that.
/r/MensRights02/06/11 05:53 PM
0

I feel so sorry for you.
/r/MensRights02/06/11 03:44 PM
2

That's ridiculous, that's not what feminism is. The title has been co-opted by all sorts, and lots of women who call themselves feminists are actually just misandrists, but that's not what the feminist movement was ever about.
/r/MensRights02/06/11 03:41 PM
1

No it's not at all the same thing. It's mutual respect, not one person commanding the other to do it or not do it. The practical effect is the same, but the difference is that it goes both ways; neither spouse is in charge of the other, neither spouse has the burden of making the final decision every time.
/r/MensRights31/05/11 02:10 PM
2

Not buying something that you can't agree on is just common courtesy when you share funds. In a "modern" marriage, the husband also doesn't make large purchases that the couple doesn't agree on. This isn't him "obeying" his wife, it's the two of them agreeing to make decisions together.
/r/MensRights31/05/11 01:56 PM
2

You really can't make that distinction?
/r/MensRights31/05/11 12:37 PM
1

Thank you for saying this. I'm glad someone else shares my perspective.
/r/MensRights31/05/11 03:07 AM
1

It does work that way when the wife is a selfish b---- with complete disregard for her husband's rights and wishes, but the idea is that neither partner makes major purchases without agreeing on it. They respect each other's opinions and make decisions together, as partners. Marriage does not have to be a constant power struggle about who gets their way and who gets screwed. People really can work together.
/r/MensRights31/05/11 12:43 AM
1

My parents have done it that way for 35 years. Their marriage isn't perfect, but it's one of the best marriages I'm privy to.
/r/MensRights31/05/11 12:39 AM
2

No. That's not it at all, not even a little bit. A "modern" marriage would be where a couple pools its resources and shares responsibility for decision-making. Good god woman, what you're describing isn't "new-fashioned" it's shitty tyrannical women taking advantage of men in the worst kind of way.
/r/MensRights30/05/11 09:10 PM
1

lol. I think "old-fashioned" doesn't just mean a traditional separation of powers based on gender. The key is that the man has the final say in every major decision, giving him both great power and a great burden of responsibility. The wife has to obey him even if she disagrees, because his word is law. It's the Ephesians 5 version of marriage, the way it's been traditionally interpreted.
/r/MensRights30/05/11 08:21 PM
3

I agree. As a woman, I would rather have a partner than a caretaker, and if the roles were reversed, I would not want the responsibility of making the final decision in every circumstance; it's better to discuss and agree on things together.
/r/MensRights30/05/11 08:12 PM
2

I was talking about the theory of it, not whether it's practiceable. And yes, sex when you want it (within reason) would be part of the deal.
/r/MensRights30/05/11 08:04 PM
3

That's great, I hope she appreciates it! :)
/r/MensRights30/05/11 06:57 PM
3

I'm curious, what do you guys think about the idea of an actual "old-fashioned" style relationship? Like, where the man makes all of the money, the woman keeps the house impeccable, makes home-cooked meals from scratch every day, raises the kids to respect their dad's authority, etc? Like, your life would look like: every morning when you wake up your wife makes you breakfast while you get ready for work. She packs a lunch for you to take to work with you. When you get home, she is smiling, wear…
/r/MensRights30/05/11 06:54 PM
1

I DID NOT SAY THAT MEN CAN ONLY LOOK AT CERTAIN WOMEN'S BREASTS. I AM DONE TALKING TO YOU.
/r/MensRights30/05/11 02:22 AM
1

The [sic] was referring to your use of the singular "breast" when you should have said "breasts." maybe she needs to learn that having men stare is part of the deal was referring to if she had been wearing revealing clothes at the time of the incident, you took it out of context.
/r/MensRights29/05/11 05:24 PM
1

Where did I say that "boys can look at girls breast [sic] if the girls are being revealing"? I also never said that girls should be allowed to act like victims if they're gawked at or told sex jokes. You keep putting words in my mouth that I never said and don't actually think. I can't get you to understand that I agree that it's NORMAL and OK for boys/men to look at girls'/women's breasts! I'm not saying the boy should be discreet because it victimizes the girl, I'm saying he should be discreet…
/r/MensRights29/05/11 03:24 PM
1

Ah, I understand your argument here. I agree with you that parents and teachers are often overly involved in solving kids' problems for them, and that sometimes it's better to back off and let them handle it amongst themselves. As a teacher, though, if a student came to me with this concern I would consider it a teachable moment and use it to explain what was going on and give them some tools to understand the dynamic that's developing between boys and girls at that age.
/r/MensRights29/05/11 12:22 AM
1

You're not responding at all to what I was saying, which leads me to believe you do not understand me. Also, your spelling and grammar make it hard to know what you're saying in some parts. Do you know I never said that boys shouldn't check out girls' breasts, and in fact I said that it should explicitly be explained to both the boy and girl that it is normal and ok for boys to look at girls' breasts? And the parenthetical I added to the end was just to make it clear that, while I agree that gir…
/r/MensRights29/05/11 12:18 AM
1

A troll doesn't believe what he's saying and just says it to hurt/anger people. Based on the consistency of his comments, I would say this guy's not a troll and actually believes what he's saying.
/r/MensRights28/05/11 07:25 PM
1

It's worthwhile to discuss even if it's just hypothetical, because stuff like this can and does happen.
/r/MensRights28/05/11 07:19 PM
1

First of all, I seriously doubt that this 10-year-old girl was wearing clothing that revealed her developing breasts. Perhaps she was, and maybe she needs to learn that having men stare is part of the deal when you wear revealing clothes. I get that. Girls need to understand the natural consequences of their actions. (This absolutely does not extend to sexual assault/rape. Girls have a right not to be molested regardless of how they're dressed.)
/r/MensRights28/05/11 07:14 PM
1

We have to teach our kids that their actions affect the way other people feel and that it does matter. You can't get along in society if you were taught as a child that you don't have to give a fuck about how other people feel.
/r/MensRights28/05/11 07:10 PM
1

This is not a case of "boy did something wrong, girl did nothing wrong, boy must be punished." This is a teachable moment, in which children are starting to understand how the world is going to be for the rest of their lives, with sexuality in the picture. To say that the girl's feeling of being violated by being stared at is completely irrelevant and invalid, and that the boy has every right to look at her or talk to her any way he pleases is doing a disservice to both of them. Children have to…
/r/MensRights28/05/11 07:07 PM
1

I absolutely agree 100%.
/r/MensRights28/05/11 12:14 AM
1

The threat was suspension, not expulsion. In my opinion, threatening suspension was going too far, but you weaken your own case when you say "expulsion" where there was not talk of expulsion.
/r/MensRights27/05/11 09:15 PM
6

Punishing a child for showing natural curiosity is wrong. Checking out the opposite sex is human nature and it's ok. But in order to get along in society, we have to use manners in order to not make each other feel uncomfortable. Kids need to be taught to be respectful about it and not gawk at each other.
/r/MensRights27/05/11 07:12 PM
19

I am looking at the girl's perspective, since I was a little girl once. When I first started getting breasts, I was extremely self-conscious about it and I really would have felt awful if I caught a boy actually staring at them. I don't blame her for wanting the staring to stop, it's creepy and disconcerting when a guy just zeroes in and stares at my breasts. I also think boys should be taught that it's not polite to be obvious about looking at the ladies, and that he can make girls uncomfortabl…
/r/MensRights27/05/11 07:03 PM
1

And really, why would a mom do that? She's only making her own life harder, and her kids' childhoods less good. I guess the answer to that is Ego. Some people just want to be in control of everything all the time.
/r/MensRights27/05/11 12:26 PM
2

That's a fair point. I just get frustrated when people act like it's some kind of revelation that nobody could possibly have guessed before.
/r/MensRights27/05/11 12:23 PM
3

I thought science's purpose was to figure out answers to questions we don't already know.
/r/MensRights26/05/11 11:20 PM
5

Weak shitty men make shitty fathers. This guy chose his wife over his daughter, which in my opinion makes him a shitty person. I don't know what your definition of "weak" is, but fathers don't need to be aggressive in order to be great dads. They just have to love their children and use common sense when raising them. It's a priorities thing, and putting your child first doesn't require machismo, just love.
/r/MensRights26/05/11 09:15 PM
2

Johnny Cash has a song "Delia" where he kills his woman. That's still accepted by the mainstream.
/r/MensRights26/05/11 07:56 PM
1

WOW, you need to meet some other women. I love men myself, and would never ever want to hurt one.
/r/MensRights26/05/11 07:55 PM
13

It's ridiculous that this even needs to be studied and written about like this. It's common sense! Of course men can be great parents, haven't we all seen awesome dads in action? That people need scientists to confirm what they should be able to see with their own eyes, because TV doesn't resemble reality whatsoever, is sad. Oh, and P.S. I rage when people say dad is "babysitting" when he's with the kids. It's called parenting, people.
/r/MensRights26/05/11 04:42 PM
1

I just realized my sentence was redundant. Oops. Yep, sounds like we're on the same page.
/r/MensRights20/05/11 03:47 PM
1

I guess I don't necessarily think men should get married, but I don't feel strongly either way. I think marriage works well for some people, but it's not for everyone. I feel that, while legal marriage is unnecessary, it's not usually as harmful as you say either. With or without legal marriage, if you live with someone and have kids with them, family law can and will get involved when you split up whether you're married or not. The system is not set up to support fathers' rights, and because it…
/r/MensRights20/05/11 02:28 PM
1

Well it sounds like we're beating a dead horse here. Either I don't get what you're trying to say, or you don't quite get what I'm trying to say. Either way, I don't think we disagree much about the system being flawed, I think we just disagree about whether people (in general) are basically decent or basically selfish.
/r/MensRights20/05/11 03:48 AM
2

I appreciate the discussion as well. We all want to think that these decisions are made by "equal" partners on "equal" terms but that is far from the case. What I am saying is that this isn't always the case. We all know about women who take advantage of the system being biased in their favor, we all hear horror stories about how spouses abuse each other. But this is not the way most people operate. I think our main disagreement is the prevalence of women taking men to the cleaners. I know that …
/r/MensRights19/05/11 11:01 PM
2

I understand your perspective on legal marriage, and respect your position. But you said that a man should never live with a woman or have children. To me, that's as impractical as abstinence-only education. It's part of human nature to pair off and create children. I totally reject your labelling of this type of situation as "slavery." Couples often agree to live on one income so that one of the parents can be home with young children full-time. A lot of the time, it's what's best for the child…
/r/MensRights19/05/11 08:59 PM
2

I do work, yes. I also don't have kids. I realize that it's much trickier when the wife/mother does not work outside the home. But the principle stands. Some people are reasonable and civilized in divorce/alimony/custody/child support situations. You are right that the family law policies in place are not fair and that we must work to change them. However, I feel strongly that your solution of never entering into a partnership or raising children is irrational and impractical for most people.
/r/MensRights19/05/11 07:51 PM
3

I have heard of worse cases where the mother is an abusive addict and still the father could not get sole custody.
/r/MensRights19/05/11 06:40 PM
4

Wow, I feel really sorry for you, because you seem to have lost all faith in humanity. I was with my ex-husband for 10 years. When we got divorced (by his choosing) he got the house. This is because he was the one who made enough money to afford the house payments. Both of our names were on it, but I signed away my rights to the property, and he gave me cash for 1/2 the equity we had built up together. We decided on that solution together because it was fair and manageable for both of us. The ma…
/r/MensRights19/05/11 06:36 PM
4

This is ridiculous. This article wasn't even proofread. It is equally wrong for an adult woman to take advantage of an underage boy as it is for a man to do it to a girl, but practical consequences are not the same. Girls don't always have the legal right to birth control or abortion, not in states with parental consent laws. Even where they do have legal rights, they often don't have access to it or any education about how to use it. Boys who are raped should not have to pay child support for r…
/r/MensRights11/05/11 05:28 PM
2

Yeah, you know PMS and cramping and ovulating and all that can be a pain, and it can affect my emotions, but I have learned in recent years that regardless of how I'm feeling, there is never a legitimate excuse for treating people poorly.
/r/MensRights06/05/11 03:07 AM
1

lol
/r/MensRights03/05/11 11:45 PM
1

Did you pull that 90% statistic from a legitimate study or...? I agree that feminism has caused unintended negative effects that feminists are now ignoring/denying instead of addressing. I agree that our society believes that children belong to women, and that this is a travesty. But the 90% thing, I think that's just your perception.
/r/MensRights03/05/11 11:32 PM
1

This is a defensible stance, but I don't think it's that simple.
/r/MensRights03/05/11 11:07 PM
1

It is true, and it is a problem. Both men and women are to blame for the phenomenon of children growing up without fathers.
/r/MensRights03/05/11 10:57 PM
1

I think it's important to note that the girl in question was not pressing charges or even really making accusations. This article was written by a third person, who was relating the story and commenting on how sad the whole situation was.
/r/MensRights03/05/11 10:47 PM
1

You had me up until "virtually the entire time men who are unable to have a relationship with their children are being blocked by their ex-wife." This is demonstrably untrue. Fathers leaving their children and refusing to take any responsibility for them is a very real and prevalent problem in our culture.
/r/MensRights03/05/11 10:42 PM
1

We don't know that you are innocent until you are convicted; we presume that you are innocent until you are convicted. All I am saying is that, from the facts stated, we don't know whether this guy was a poor downtrodden, walked-all-over guy or a vindictive monster. We don't know. But I can agree with you on this: his rights were infringed and he didn't deserve to die.
/r/MensRights29/04/11 11:51 PM
3

May I play devil's advocate here? As far as we know the only right of Mr. McHale's that was infringed was his right to have 24 hours to turn over the guns. We don't know whether or not Ms. McHale was lying, but it's entirely possible that she wasn't, and it's entirely possible that, while she worried about Mr. McHale hurting her (and/or their children) she did not wish him dead. I imagine that if I were in a situation where my estranged husband owned several guns and had threatened violence, I w…
/r/MensRights29/04/11 06:17 PM
1

This is true, just like re-instituting a draft to staff all the wars we're involved in would get young people out demonstrating against the wars in a hurry. Whether or not it's an ethical way to kick-start political involvement is debatable...
/r/MensRights28/04/11 08:30 PM
2

Yes, the man is in as deep as she is, but pregnant women should have the option to abort. I believe that just as a woman should have a choice whether or not to be responsible for a child, a man should also have that choice. If the woman chooses not to abort, but doesn't want to parent the resulting baby, the dude should have the option to raise the child OR the kid goes up for adoption. So, to recap: The woman gets to decide whether or not the fetus gets born The woman and the man EACH get to ch…
/r/MensRights22/04/11 10:03 PM
2

What do you disagree with? I made 3 points here: A pregnancy happens in a woman's body. No one should force a pregnant woman to abort or keep the fetus. (An abortion, like any medical procedure, is always the woman's choice unless she is not conscious/capable of making her own decision.) Men should have the right to relinquish parental rights and responsibilities.
/r/MensRights21/04/11 02:20 AM
1

Yep. All those insults are the same, and they all suck. (Although TIL some things about the word "pussy" that are making me reconsider that one...) edit: added link to thread
/r/MensRights20/04/11 11:48 PM
1

Yes, you're right, women are usually not as strong as men are. But especially when the opportunity for teamwork is present, they can do their part.
/r/MensRights20/04/11 11:00 PM
1

I would guess that people are more likely to make the connection if they're not thinking about it. Other body part slang words are used as insults, why would we assume that this word has two different origins?
/r/MensRights20/04/11 09:21 PM
1

Find a better battle? It takes two to battle. I think we both want the last word here. Well, you can have it because this is my last reply. I just advise you not to assume that people will understand your meaning unless you spell it out. Sweeping generalizations will always get you scorn in intelligent conversations.
/r/MensRights20/04/11 09:17 PM
1

You repeatedly said "Women are [blank]" and "Men are [blank]." This is, at the very least, intellectually lazy.
/r/MensRights20/04/11 07:15 PM
1

No need to point out my opinion, I already indicated that it was my opinion. I think I understand what you're saying. And I think you may have actually changed my mind. You at least made me think carefully about it. I am not sure if you are accurate when you say that most people don't make a connection between "pussy" as slang for vagina and "pussy" as slang for a weak person, but I am willing to consider the possibility that I am the one who's wrong there. There's also the issue that using some…
/r/MensRights20/04/11 07:06 PM
1

sigh You never said anything about "general trends."
/r/MensRights20/04/11 06:50 PM
1

It might be clunky, but it's also necessary. Here's my evidence for my position: Harriet Tubman. There. I have disproven your point.
/r/MensRights20/04/11 05:26 PM
1

Well I'm glad you understand the concept. Perhaps you will meet someone of value one day who doesn't appreciate name-calling and hopefully you will not cut them out of your life because of it.
/r/MensRights20/04/11 05:20 PM
1

Just because some or even a lot of women have this attitude does not mean that Women do. Even if most women had this attitude (which I don't believe they do), your statement would still be false. Just to clarify, when you make a blanket statement about a group of people without any recognition that it's not always the case, even one counter-example proves your claim wrong.
/r/MensRights20/04/11 05:14 PM
1

I understand what you're saying, I think I didn't make my point clear. What I mean to say is that (in my opinion) what your audience thinks you mean is more important than what scholarly research says your words mean. And my example of the word "fag" was appropriate because it's a word that doesn't always mean something insulting, but it has come to mean that in certain circumstances. Just as using the word "pussy" when talking about a cat is not offensive, "fag" is not offensive when you're tal…
/r/MensRights20/04/11 05:10 PM
11

The pregnancy happens in the woman's body. I don't think it's ok for anyone to force a pregnant woman to abort or not abort. However, men should have the right to relinquish their parental rights and responsibilities.
/r/MensRights20/04/11 03:35 PM
2

An excellent point.
/r/MensRights20/04/11 03:28 PM
23

She may call herself a feminist, but her defining characteristic is idiocy, not feminism.
/r/MensRights20/04/11 03:24 PM
1

Why on earth are you being upvoted? This dichotomy you claim to observe is demonstrably untrue. There are so many counter-examples I don't even know where to start.
/r/MensRights20/04/11 03:22 PM
2

Some people are sensitive to name-calling. They can still be excellent friends. We need to value people for what they bring to the table, and treat them as they would like to be treated. It is totally reasonable for someone not to like being called names by their friends. Yes, it's important to be able to take a joke, but it's also important to treat your friends as individuals and respect their own sensibilities.
/r/MensRights20/04/11 03:15 PM
7

Ugh, I fucking hate when people use "cocksucker" as an insult. I like going down on a guy, and there's nothing wrong with that!
/r/MensRights20/04/11 03:10 PM
0

I object to both terms. Just saying.
/r/MensRights20/04/11 03:07 PM
4

Girls can lift chairs and tables. I am an exceptionally un-strong girl and I can put away a folding table by myself, and carry 4 folding chairs. I can re-arrange furniture, etc. It sounds like you work with people who aren't willing to do the work, which is a whole different issue than not being able to.
/r/MensRights20/04/11 03:03 PM
2

In our culture, it has come to mean something different from its origins. It's like the word 'fag.' It's offensive because people use it offensively, even though it wasn't originally a pejorative.
/r/MensRights20/04/11 02:54 PM
-1

I agree with you, but I would like to point out that the child is not "an autistic," she is a child with autism.
/r/MensRights15/04/11 07:30 PM
12

It's like the Calvin and Hobbes where Calvin tells his dad he doesn't mind if the world is unfair, as long as it's unfair in his favor.
/r/MensRights08/04/11 10:06 PM
2

I weep for humanity.
/r/MensRights08/04/11 09:25 PM
6

I am for men's rights. But using the word 'mangina' is not helpful to our cause. Can we try to get away from the trend of using body part names as insults?
/r/MensRights07/04/11 07:35 PM
1

touche
/r/MensRights06/04/11 12:01 AM
6

Not even just tradtional team sports either. I was in track and field and we had to be taught how to spot and avoid girls who would trip you or jab you with their elbows. But boys do that in sports too. You can maybe make a generalization about girls doing it more, though I am skeptical of such generalizations, but boys definitely do it too.
/r/MensRights05/04/11 05:53 PM
4

Oh that makes sense. Well, I'm glad it is now!
/r/MensRights05/04/11 05:50 PM
6

Divorce is war Not always. In war people intentionally hurt one another. As painful as my divorce was, neither of us ever intentionally hurt the other. If you're not prepared for it, you don't marry. Nothing can prepare you for it.
/r/MensRights05/04/11 05:32 PM
26

Hopefully the -50 comment rating, and the negative responses to her comment, indicate to you that this is not a common mindset and is not widely supported.
/r/MensRights05/04/11 05:28 PM
13

Oh this happens, it's just much more difficult for a man to get custody of children in a divorce. Men are not as successful at lying about their wives because mothers tend to be presumed innocent until proven guilty. Men are much more likely to be presumed guilty because they were accused.
/r/MensRights05/04/11 05:27 PM
1

Ah yes, other countries. I wish the US would have more reasonable laws.
/r/MensRights03/04/11 09:56 PM
2

Oh no, you are unfortunately very wrong. It would be nice if it were this easy, but in reality, parental consent laws endanger children. This is why abortion has to be accessible across the board.
/r/MensRights03/04/11 05:20 PM
5

Actually, a lot of states require parental consent for a minor to obtain reproductive healthcare. This causes problems for many young girls, particularly ones who are victims of abuse and incest.
/r/MensRights03/04/11 03:56 AM
7

Agree. When backed into a corner, people will do what they think they have to in order to survive. Throwing a guy under the bus to save yourself is NOT ok, ever, at all, but lying to get an abortion is an understandable response to a desperate situation.
/r/MensRights03/04/11 03:26 AM
7

Actually, it happens quite often with younger girls who don't understand how their bodies work and are terrified to even consider the possibility they might be pregnant.
/r/MensRights03/04/11 03:23 AM
3

This might be a little TMI, but out of the 7 American guys I've known intimately, 2 were uncircumcised. In my friend group, of the guys whose circumcision status I know of it's probably about 20%ish uncircumcised. Perhaps you live in a more Jewish area or something? PS- A wise guy once told me that the worst reason for doing something is because it's always been done that way.
/r/MensRights02/04/11 11:09 PM
7

I think people should talk to uncircumcised adults and ask them if they wish their parents had circumcised them when they were infants. No one I have spoken to has wished this, and I have several male friends who wish they had not been circumcised. (Maybe it's weird that I have talked to my guy friends about this, but my ex was uncircumcised and liked to bring it up quite often so I got a taste of how my friends felt about it.)
/r/MensRights02/04/11 08:21 PM
-3

he realizes there are no medical benefits to being circumcised FTFY
/r/MensRights02/04/11 08:15 PM
9

While it's true that babies are resilient and will usually survive abuse that is not life-threatening, and be likely to grow up healthy and happy, that doesn't make abuse ok. I'm not downvoting you because you shared your opinion in a calm and rational way, but I think you're very wrong to assume that just because you turned out ok, what was done to you was ok. You are not giving your children the "freedom" you cherish when you choose to cut off a piece of their bodies.
/r/MensRights02/04/11 08:10 PM
2

Thank you for your thoughtful and level-headed comments. I think you're spot-on. There are so many variables and it's so complicated, there's no point in blaming and complaining and pointing fingers. As my boyfriend would say (while putting on his sunglasses) "Deal with it."
/r/MensRights29/03/11 09:11 PM
1

These are some heady issues, and I disagree with some of what you said, but I like how you said it: level-headed, respectful, mature. Your letter was not hate speech by any means! I think that Rory had a point about looking more closely into the reasons behind pay differences, and though his statistic of 80 cents on the dollar is probably bullshit, there is some truth to the idea that women get paid less than men for doing the same work. I don't entirely disagree with the main idea of his origin…
/r/MensRights29/03/11 05:33 PM
1

I'm not really rich, but I am well-educated and I think that goes a long way. My kids are not going to go without nutritious food, a warm bed, and clean well-fitting clothes. They are not going to go without a quality education. So I disagree, I don't think they will be disadvantaged. I am glad my parents decided to create me, even though my life hasn't been all sunshine lollipops and rainbows.
/r/MensRights29/03/11 04:12 PM
6

You don't sound like an abuser to me then. ;)
/r/MensRights28/03/11 08:24 PM
6

Regarding #2-- I think you should be concerned if you are checking your partner's car mileage or preventing her from having a social life because you are enraged by the idea of her talking to other men in any context. Regarding #12-- If you think that women should obey you because you, being a man, are the boss of all women, you should knock that off. Short of that though, I think you're probably safe.
/r/MensRights28/03/11 08:04 PM
1

I quite like your name too.
/r/MensRights28/03/11 06:22 PM
3

Sweden gives parternity leave, which I'm a big believer in. You can't make it equal by taking away maternity leave, because it's necessary for women to take time off to give birth and to breastfeed. But you can make it equal by extending the same opportunity to dads.
/r/MensRights28/03/11 05:48 PM
2

Yes, and people do this with all kinds of labels. Democrat/Republican/Christian/Conservative/Liberal/etc. Easier to call yourself a label than let your words and actions define you.
/r/MensRights28/03/11 05:40 PM
4

I don't find this sub "full of" misogynists. There are a few he-man woman-haters here, but mostly I don't feel like MR hates me just because I'm female.
/r/MensRights28/03/11 05:38 PM
2

I agree with everything you say except "we [men] work harder [than women]." I don't think that one gender or the other actually works harder overall. I understand it though if you're referring specifically to self-entitled so-called "feminists" who want the world to fall down at their feet just because they are women.
/r/MensRights28/03/11 05:36 PM
1

I promise you i'm real. AMA!
/r/MensRights28/03/11 03:41 AM
0

or an egg donor. the health of the child has more to do with the gametes than with the body of the mother. but women in their 30's have healthy children all the time, we just have to be vigilant about consulting with the doctors and taking good care of ourselves.
/r/MensRights27/03/11 11:45 PM
6

my experience with my dad being home with me were all positive.
/r/MensRights27/03/11 11:44 PM
2

I think education is worth it just for its own sake.
/r/MensRights27/03/11 11:01 PM
8

Um, sorry I wasted your time? I can't deny I am an attention whore, but I put my money where my mouth is.
/r/MensRights27/03/11 07:11 PM
12

Thanks <3
/r/MensRights27/03/11 07:10 PM
2

Point taken, I think you're right on if we're talking about the general culture. But it's not true for all people. I don't want to have kids because they're cute. Kids are vomiting, pooping, screaming exasperation machines. I want to have kids because I love this world and I want to give them the chance to enjoy it. And because I think humanity should continue and not stop short when this generation dies. Surely parenthood is not an altruistic endeavor entirely, but I have no illusions about the…
/r/MensRights27/03/11 07:10 PM
2

I understand that in the first six months, it's more important for baby to be with mom for the nutritional aspect. But I still think that the decision to do what's best for the baby should be a mutual one where both parents are on board. These discussions need to be had before babies are made so both parents are on the same page.
/r/MensRights27/03/11 07:03 PM
5

I can understand this perspective. I think it's a good idea for a woman to get an education before having kids, so in the event that she needs to become the financial provider for her family she can. Anything can happen, the husband gets sick or injured or dies, etc. This is wise for a number of reasons.
/r/MensRights27/03/11 07:01 PM
2

maybe so, but he does have an awesome username.
/r/MensRights27/03/11 06:42 PM
3

I love you too!
/r/MensRights27/03/11 06:31 PM
5

Well I think that it has to remain a human right to procreate or not. But certainly your human rights only extend so far as to not infringe on other people's rights. So no, a woman does not have a right to get pregnant without the consent of the man whose sperm she's using. I just wanted to point out that not all 30-year-old women without children are raging feminists who want to have their cake and eat it too. :)
/r/MensRights27/03/11 06:31 PM
24

Another phenomenon I don't understand: hiring people to raise your children for you.
/r/MensRights27/03/11 06:24 PM
4

Sorry, did I respond inappropriately? I'm actually curious what you think, I did not intend to sound trolly.
/r/MensRights27/03/11 06:17 PM
3

You don't have to feel sorrier for either gender. IMO, we've both contributed to the problem and are partially responsible for this mess and neither of us deserves any sympathy. I find it appalling that women think it should be their choice (alone) whether or not they stay home with the kids and that they think they should get custody of kids in a divorce. I can understand not wanting to sacrifice her career for his career, but sacrificing your career for the sake of your family is not the same …
/r/MensRights27/03/11 05:40 PM
8

What about those of us women who wanted to have babies in our 20s but our life circumstances prevented us from responsibly bringing children into the world at that point? Once we hit 30, have we given up our right to have children? EDIT: another interesting fact: did you know that younger dads make healthier babies too? link
/r/MensRights27/03/11 05:30 PM
1

Sometimes this is true. Not always, and it's getting better. Still, it's unacceptable.
/r/MensRights27/03/11 05:27 PM
1

I am saying that the only possible reason that women could give for being insulted by that is bullshit. I think that you think I don't agree with you. I DO AGREE WITH YOU. Good grief, I spend 20 minutes trying to craft a thoughtful response that agrees with you and all you can do is scold me. I am done talking to you.
/r/MensRights24/03/11 10:23 PM
1

Oh yes, when you're talking about the whole "rescue women first" thing, that's just women's privilege and it's insulting to men, not so much to women. (Although there may be an underlying assumption that women cannot climb into lifeboats on their own or something, but that doesn't make any practical difference.) I do think that rescuing children before rescuing ourselves is a good thing to do; they really are defenseless and can't save themselves without adults' help. But the differences between…
/r/MensRights24/03/11 09:50 PM
2

You're right, she doesn't sound like she's trying to look at what it must feel from a man's point of view. But I think she's on the right track anyway. Baby steps.
/r/MensRights24/03/11 09:28 PM
2

"after treating men like shit for decades" I figured this stuff out in my early 20's. I did not spend decades treating men poorly; in fact I think I was a fairly nice young lady, just misguided. And I hope that you don't think those terrible things about me, because I'm actually on your side. I subscribe to MR because I agree that men are treated poorly and I don't like it.
/r/MensRights24/03/11 03:55 PM
2

I'm saying that from how I read the article, it sounds like she is beginning to recognize that her expectations of men have been unreasonable, and hopefully this means that she is going to change her way of thinking and be more fair.
/r/MensRights24/03/11 03:51 PM
1

The reason I think it's insulting to everyone is that it can perpetuate ideas that people are incapable of doing something because of their gender. If society expected women to sew your clothes for you, it would be an insult to you because they're assuming that you're not capable of repairing your own clothing.
/r/MensRights24/03/11 03:45 PM
1

Did you read the details of the case that I linked? I actually find myself somewhere in the middle as far as intellectualism goes on here. I don't think I am trying to act more intellectual than I am, I am just trying to be thoughtful. And since you brought up the McDonald's thing, I felt it was relevant to share my perspective with you.
/r/MensRights24/03/11 03:37 PM
3

Me too. Welcome! I've been hanging around MR for a few weeks now and I find most of the people here are pretty genuine and thoughtful. :)
/r/MensRights24/03/11 02:36 AM
0

You sound like someone I would like to be friends with. :)
/r/MensRights24/03/11 02:18 AM
2

I think total equality should not negate maternity leave but rather enable paternity leave. (And maternity is more black and white than most of these gender equality issues, since women have to physically take time off of work in order to give birth and their bodies are needed for breastfeeding.)
/r/MensRights23/03/11 11:25 PM
1

So is she.
/r/MensRights23/03/11 11:23 PM
3

Really? I must have a lot of men in love with me...
/r/MensRights23/03/11 11:21 PM
2

Completely honest answers to your questions (I am a woman): Yes Yes my relationship My parents both have careers, my mother became financially successful when they were about 30, my dad didn't until they were in their late 40's. So I grew up with my mom providing more income than my dad, and my dad doing more hands-on parenting than my mom. They were both happy with the situation, and now as empty nesters they make about the same. They have always put family first, and I am glad they did. I thin…
/r/MensRights23/03/11 11:19 PM
2

Yay, I have a new label for myself! "Humanist." Has a nice ring to it.
/r/MensRights23/03/11 10:49 PM
6

Chivalry should be dead, in my opinion. It's insulting to everybody. Kindness and courtesy, however, should not be dead, and militant man-hating "feminists" have created a hostile environment for men who just want to be decent human beings.
/r/MensRights23/03/11 10:48 PM
3

My definition of feminism is about equality. I realize that there are a lot of people who call themselves feminists who are completely unreasonable, have appalling double standards, etc. but I think it's important to distinguish between those people and those of us women who actually do think that men and women should be treated as equals. "Chivalry" is, to me, ridiculous expectations about men having to open car doors and lay their coats over puddles and pay for everything. Opening doors for pe…
/r/MensRights23/03/11 10:37 PM
2

You're right that her focus is on her and she believes that men shouldn't pay for women because it's degrading to women, not because it's unfair to men. But her whole point is that there is a double standard in her own mind which she didn't previously recognize. She is realizing that she is insulted by what men do, regardless of what it is that they do, and she is realizing that that is completely ridiculous. She is realizing that when her "feminist" ideals are taken to their logical conclusion,…
/r/MensRights23/03/11 10:26 PM
5

One of the privileges I enjoy as a woman, which I wish men could also have, is the ability to be nice to people without being looked on with suspicion, as if I have ulterior motives or disrespect for the person I'm helping. When I was younger, I used to make assumptions that any man who was nice to me was interested in me. I learned that this wasn't at all the case (and that most people are actually not interested in dating me), and it's very freeing to get to the point where you just accept kin…
/r/MensRights23/03/11 07:39 PM
2

I would rather be nice to sucky people than not be nice to anyone.
/r/MensRights23/03/11 07:30 PM
7

She's not saying that's what she wants! She is commenting on the absurdity of having gut reactions that in no way mesh with her actual convictions. Try reading it again with a more open mind. She is talking about how there is a double standard and how she always thought she was black and white about it, but is learning now that she subconsciously felt differently than how she intellectually believes. This is introspection, not complaining.
/r/MensRights23/03/11 07:26 PM
4

"Every feminist in reality" NOT TRUE. Absolutely not true.
/r/MensRights23/03/11 07:22 PM
2

3rd degree burns on her genitals. Elderly people's genitals are more easily injured than young people's too. Unless you know the facts of the case, don't cite it as an example to illustrate your point. And I don't think it's thoughts that make you an asshole, it's your actions that define who you are. She is not being unkind to men. She is recognizing that her knee-jerk reactions are silly and unfair, and so she is not acting on them. I think this makes her a particularly nice person, as most pe…
/r/MensRights23/03/11 06:49 PM
2

You must not have read the whole article. It goes on to say that the database was taken down for this very reason.
/r/MensRights17/03/11 11:59 PM
3

Ugh, I find this repulsive. Though there is nothing stopping men from creating a site like these, I would guess that they would be even more vulnerable to lawsuits than the women are.
/r/MensRights17/03/11 09:10 PM
3

While I agree with you that having a vagina does not make it ok to molest children, I would argue that there aren't any circumstances under which it is acceptable.
/r/MensRights03/03/11 04:29 PM
3

aw, poor doiking9. do you need a hug?
/r/MensRights02/03/11 01:48 AM
9

um... a couple times a week anyway. why do you ask?
/r/MensRights02/03/11 01:01 AM
5

"women are too stupid..." troll much?
/r/MensRights02/03/11 12:52 AM
1

Or at least, you're not interested in being caught by someone who would cramp your style. ;)
/r/MensRights23/02/11 07:34 PM
4

Ugh, I cringe when I hear that phrase-- training your husband. shiver Too many people think that the sitcom paradigm of hot/smart/responsible wife and dopey idiot husband is true. It's all over the place in TV commercials too. What I really hate-- when women say, "I raised 3 kids and a husband!"
/r/MensRights22/02/11 11:57 PM
2

(full disclosure, I am a woman) As I read the article, the person writing the article is criticizing the author of the WSJ column for basing her opinion on one book and a handful of Judd Apatow movies. The column is actually about how the author disagrees with the assessment that men are like this in general. And I think the WSJ columnist was not talking about men who own houses and hold down jobs. She was talking about men who, well into adulthood, sit around all day in their bathrobes smoking …
/r/MensRights22/02/11 11:39 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter