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View 1 posts and 24 comments by downtempodojo on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
58

downtempodojo/r/Divorce_Men21/08/20 05:49 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

The data will tell you that it's in the best interest of the child to have their father involved. The more involved you are the better it will be for the child. In my opinion the courts do not always know what's best for the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 03:29 AM
1

Don't back down on what you want. Once it's been decided it will be hard to change. Men are seen as less than women by the courts so be prepared to fight if you want 50%.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 05:22 AM
4

I wouldn't say I have forgiven my ex but I accept her for what she is. Every time she is a bitch or takes me to court over something stupid I just see it as validation for why I am better off. Divorce was addition by subtraction. I see it all as an opportunity now. I hope you keep trying and just try to be a good dad.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 05:17 AM
1

I'm five years separated and three divorced. My ex still drags me to court over the most ridiculous things. I think it is mostly a control issue at this point. Hopefully yours let's go eventually.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 05:06 AM
6

In my experience none of what you have written above matters for the courts if the state is no fault. Only physical abuse and drug abuse will have an affect on the custody outcome. What you will have to worry about is how well she plays the victim card. Women are very good at it when they are in court. I would focus more on making sure the court establishes her income potential accurately.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 03:07 PM
4

I have similar issues with my ex. She is very controlling. Constantly tries to control what happens at my house. I would not expect it to change. Just push back where needed and most importantly be there for your kids. Moments like those are teaching moments. I see myself as the counter balance to how crazy and controlling she can be. My son is starting to recognize his mother for what she is.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 03:02 PM
8

YES! It was almost euphoric in the beginning. I lived with someone who was diagnosed with severe depression and would not treat it. I don't think you realize how bad it is until you are out. It is a slow burn where you just accept a little bit more and a little bit more. Pretty soon you are wondering how you got there and why you ever stayed. She still tries to make my life hell but all it really does is validate the decision.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 04:46 PM
8

Similar to the other comments here. I did as much as I could and it wasn't enough. What I came to realize is I was never going to be enough. Chasing the moving goal post is a fools errand. No that I am divorced what I noticed is it isn't just me. She is like that with pretty much everyone. Don't beat yourself up about it. You aren't perfect but none of us are.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 03:16 PM
2

I think it depends on how involved you want to be in your kids life. Everyone is different. With the uncertainties of divorce he will need you to be there for him now more than ever. Don't underestimate your importance to him. You will probably have something close to 50/50 if you are in the same area. If that is the case you will have plenty of time without your son where you will have time to do the things you want to do. I go on many trips when I don't have my son. Like others have said she d…
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 02:46 PM
7

I love this post. I see too many guys living in the past and not looking to the future and all of the opportunities they now have. I really recommend not jumping back into another relationship and take advantage of not being married. There is plenty of time to find someone new. The data shows that second marriages fail at a higher percentage that first marriages. Third marriages are even higher. Marriage is not something people get better at making work.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 03:03 PM
13

My situation is different. My ex has given me zero regrets and I am thankful every day we are divorced. I have taken advantage of the situation. If I want to do something I do it. That could be knife making, traveling, or anything else. What have you been wanting to do but did not find the time? How you look at divorce is up to you. You can look at it as a negative or your can look at it as a positive. You have the opportunity to do a reset on you life. Not everyone has that opportunity. Don't l…
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 02:14 PM
3

My is very litigious. One way you can handle it is to have the court assign a special master to negotiate issues. Basically they will be someone for your ex to complain to. They will filter out the bitching and real issues. This is also the cheapest option. If she keeps going to the courts over petty issues the court will eventually get sick of it. That takes time and a lot more money.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 02:07 PM
2

I have seen a fair number of posts where men have been blind sided by divorce and are unhappy. It is great to see men enjoying the freedom that comes from being divorced. It has been over 5 years since we separated and I cannot be happier. I really can't imagine being married any longer.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 05:55 PM
1

I see a lot of guys jump back in right away but I don't recommend it. Sit back, enjoy life and figure out what you want in a partner. Learn from your mistakes. Enjoy being single. Enjoy your freedom. It took me 2 years before I dated. People that haven't gone through a divorce won't understand.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/24 01:40 AM
3

One aspect I think is worth considering is paying the alimony up front if possible. There are pros/cons to the approach. I was fairly sure my ex would not get married any time soon. I paid up front so that initially I was asset poor but I have been cash flow rich from day 1.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 06:02 PM
4

More men on here need to see this list. I get that a lot of guys have been blindsided and didn't see it coming. Eventually you need to realize you are now free to do what you want, how you want. Enjoy the new found freedom.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 05:57 AM
6

Looking at my ex now I cannot believe I was married to her for that long. I do feel lucky that she showed me who she really is during the divorce and continues to do so to this day. Because of this I have never had an ounce of doubt about the divorce. My life was better the minute I moved out and I never looked back.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 05:42 AM
1

Don't let the doubt seep in. It is so important for kids to have a father that is involved. Your kids will adapt and be better for it.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 09:06 PM
201

As a single father I just don't understand why women say that. There is no way they put their kids first all of the time. Furthermore that mentality is a recipe for burn out and unhappiness. It's good to be selfish sometimes.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen23/03/21 04:09 PM
1

I 100% agree. At this point marriage feels like a very archaic idea with few benefits. Unfortunately I've heard even living together can have legal ramifications. Another tip. Do not commingle your money and assets with anyone whether you are married or not.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/20 05:28 PM
1

You seem very worried about your kids. Given the age split they are all going to deal with it differently. It won't be a one size fits all message. I would recommend counseling for them. Talk to a lawyer about 50/50. He/she should have a good feel for how likely it will be in your state. Either way fight for it if you want it. Given you both make a similar amount you may not have alimony or child support. The financial toll will probably be big but the emotional freedom you will get does not hav…
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/20 02:55 AM
2

Yes she tried to get 60/40. I put together a dad resume with all of the things he and I did together and all the times I took care of him on my own and submitted to the court. During the temporary orders the commissioner agreed that I should be able to prove I can do 50/50 which of course I did. After that my ex kept pushing 60/40. The judge in the Judicial Conference told her there was no way it would be changed if we went to court. This is why getting 50/50 early on is so important. It sets a …
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/20 12:41 AM
3

Even with the divorce hanging over my head this last year was better than any of the last four years of my marriage. When we separated the feeling of freedom was almost euphoric in a way.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/20 02:55 PM
74

Document everything you do with him. Take lots of photos and videos wherever you go. Create a daily journal of what you did. It will do two things. One it documents your involvement but it will also show the commissioner/judge that you care. Good luck!
/r/PussyPassDenied18/06/20 08:11 PM
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