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drawinglizards Archive

View 0 posts and 113 comments by drawinglizards on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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-1

Nope.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/19 12:01 AM
1

Yes, sorry, meant to say NOT staying with someone homeless/unemployed of course. I'm not arguing whether women do or don't date men who make less money than they do, I don't know the stats (although anecdotally my partner makes a lot less than I do right now and it has no effect on my attraction to him). Let's say that in general women date up though; I don't think you can then conclude well that's just how women are programmed. Not when socially women have been excluded from high-paying work fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/19 06:07 PM
1

There's a huge difference between staying with someone who's homeless and unemployed, and dating up. Money is a factor (yes it is, to men too) but that doesn't prove hypergamy. And it's not about attraction, money factors in more when you're thinking of settling down.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/19 02:19 PM
1

Once the man has had sex with the woman, he is the gatekeeper of commitment That makes no sense, tons of women break up with guys they've had sex with
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/19 03:51 AM
1

Holding feminist beliefs is a masculine characteristic?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/19 03:45 AM
1

I don't think losing a fight makes you less attractive. It's about how you fight, not whether you win.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/19 06:49 PM
1

Gaslighting men into believing that women are naturally just doing what men do It has nothing to do with what's natural, it has to do with social norms. Feminism works to normalize women sleeping around if they want to. That doesn't require women to "naturally" want to sleep around as much as men. I don't see how "who has it easier" when it comes to getting laid has any bearing on people's rights, so I don't really care about that in that context. Nobody has a right to sex. There's a whole host …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/19 06:44 PM
10

Doesn't that just boil down to "women who like sex have more sex" then?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/19 04:07 PM
4

A lot of women work hard so that they don't need to attract a man to support themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/19 03:55 PM
13

This article is all over the place. A few paragraphs before they say it's only the woman's attitudes to casual sex that affect the frequency of sexual intercourse there's this: Passion in the relationship is of great importance for intercourse frequency and this: Only the passion in the relationship can help predict the frequency of sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/19 03:51 PM
2

...so the premise of slut-shaming is that those women are abnormal? Does that make it okay somehow? I see your point, but I don't think you need to argue that men's and women's desire are exactly the same to say that slut-shaming is shitty. We recognize that we shouldn't shame people in other areas just because they're different. Feminism argues for equality between men and women, but obviously not that they're exactly the same. Redpill arguments don't follow from fundamental biological differen…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/19 02:12 PM
2

What agenda would you serve by saying men and women are equally interested in sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/19 05:42 AM
1

It's just a part of figuring out whether you're compatible with the other person. If I'm a neat freak and I'm dating a slob, it's unlikely to work out well long term, unless we can find reasonable accommodation (separate houses? Cleaning services?). But I'm not just dating them so they can play the maid. If my man doesn't want kids and I do, it's probably best we break up, but that doesn't mean I view him as nothing but a sperm donor.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/19 07:19 PM
1

Why can't it be a bit of both? You can be a little cynical about people and still believe in love.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/19 07:11 PM
1

I'm aware. The law doesn't accurately assess the dynamics of rape. And as long as it doesn't, the situation will persist that it's ridiculously easy to get away with rape. I don't know if there is a solution.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/19 09:27 PM
1

Well, I can't speak to that, never attended such a training and don't know anyone who has. But if you look at women's and men's perceptions of what constitutes sexual aggression, there's a gap.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/19 09:21 PM
1

Then maybe I misunderstood, you have an example?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/19 05:02 PM
1

we need to double down on belittling simps What do you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/19 04:59 PM
2

That's another reason investigating rape is so tricky. When someone has power over you, when they're threatening to hurt you or damage your career or whatever, in the interest of self-protection you make yourself agreeable and you hope they don't come after you again. When you find out you're not alone, the balance of power swings the other way again. I don't have any brilliant solution. But I don't like "solutions" that make it harder and more complicated for victims to come forward while doing…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/19 03:13 PM
4

Different. You can be as discriminating as you like with the people you want to fuck. Not so with wages.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/19 02:45 PM
7

they hate on RP because we're figuring it out Where does this idea come from? When I look at RP101 it makes a lot of sense. In fact it's kind of surprising that guys didn't know a lot of that stuff already and I'm happy someone is telling them. Where it gets creepy is when women get discussed and treated like second class citizens who are supposed to be submissive to men by nature.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/19 02:31 PM
3

It can't. You can't consent sex over text. But people will think you can, and that's what makes this so hateful.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/19 01:53 PM
11

No. This is the problem, you can't have "texts proving the sex was consensual." Consent isn't a contract that gets laid out in advance and that's that and everybody is bound to those terms. I can pick up a dude on tinder, we can exchange sexy texts and pictures and I can send him naked photos, but in the moment I'm at his house and if I'm uncomfortable or in pain and I say "stop" repeatedly and I'm trying to get out and he keeps going and he's able to physically overpower me, that's still rape. …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/19 01:50 PM
1

women are almost exclusively the ones who nag about things That's ...not true. Women and men might tend to express it differently, but men pester women in relationships too.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/19 01:30 PM
1

I agree w you about the effort part, although it's not enough on it's own. We weren't talking about dead bedrooms in general, just specifically the case where women lose desire, per OP's post.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/19 01:21 PM
1

work on being attractive How?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/19 01:17 PM
3

I know lots of cases where it's the reverse. Without generalizing along gender lines why not just establish that whoever wants something done a specific way should do it? It's not a men vs women thing. And how you want to live is a pretty basic measure of compatibility to establish early in a relationship. Kind of like how much sex you want to have.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/19 09:22 PM
5

Are you suggesting men and women should live in filth instead of do the housework nobody wants to do? ​ Why do you think women stop having sex with their husbands?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/19 09:05 PM
3

If women were the ones who had to work harder and longer in order to make these things happen in their lives, I guarantee they'd start having second thoughts Isn't that what was implied by a career woman that has a 3500 sq ft house, two fancy cars parked out front, a timeshare in Hawaii ?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/19 09:02 PM
14

You're setting up a false dichotomy. A fat oaf who does nothing around the house, sucks with the kids and never comes up with date ideas IS unattractive. Doing chores isn't the be-all-and-end-all of sexy-for-women - in my porn, people fuck - but a guy who sits on his ass and toodles around on his phone while I do the work doesn't turn me on, it annoys the crap out of me.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/19 08:53 PM
0

Addressing whether red pillars are cultists... the top sticky post on TheRedPill is about "powertalk." What makes TRP so unique is that quality posts and quality posters are versed in powertalk. Powertalk is beautiful because it can only be explained allegorically - i.e. its inherent nature is NOT literal, so dictionary definitions just don't apply. In their words, the critical centerpiece of powertalk [is] plausible deniability. So a key part of their rhetoric is about being able to disavow wha…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/19 06:22 PM
1

Examples from fiction are flawed, but your only metric of Leonard's "value" here is intellectual and career-based. Even TRP will tell you that's not what it's all about. He's not unsuccessful with attractive women because he's not arrogant, narcissistic and manipulative. He's unsuccessful because he's a bit socially clueless.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/19 04:27 PM
1

Needs, not wants. You could make a case that when women do marry nowadays, their motives are more pure than in the past, because they don't get fucked over if they don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/19 12:49 AM
1

So do men. This sub attracts people with specific biases, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/19 12:44 AM
1

No. I said, as did you, that trans people are at significant risk of suicide. And yes, like most people. Trans people are a lot like you and me, except it's enormously more likely for people to be assholes to them. I mess with my hormones every day I take a birth control pill. Instead of inventing batshit reasons to declare people ill, how about we start with the simplest possible solution and treat them with kindness and respect, just like everyone else?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/19 12:01 AM
1

Do you know why trans people are suicidal? It's because they're rejected by their families, disbelieved, ridiculed and bullied and treated to all kinds of hateful behavior by the abject morons who think they're trying to be "trendy" and doing it for the attention. Trans people who are supported by their families are vastly less likely to be suicidal. That's what the science says. So next time you accuse someone of "inventing a million genders to feel special," remember that not only is your mora…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/19 09:44 PM
1

Your post seems like a cheap put-down of women who don't stay in their proper humble places. How are any of your examples Bad Things, and not merely things you find annoying/unattractive?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/19 08:15 PM
1

This is the opposite of what's taught in sex ed. Nobody says "biological sex doesn't exist."
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/19 06:07 PM
1

I think when women try to be individualistic, it's usually a bad thing. They try to be r/NotLikeOtherGirls They're more likely to make up bullshit genders to feel special. They try (and fail) to act like men to stand out. They're more likely to have special snowflake syndrome. This has nothing to do with collectivism vs individualism, this is a list of stuff that annoys you personally but which otherwise has no effect on your life at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/19 05:33 PM
3

it has no benefits to young single women, only detriments If your hobbies get you out of the house, that's a decent way to meet people.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/19 05:18 PM
24

Maybe it depends how you're asking? If some random guy asked me personal questions in a way that suggests he's trying to assess if I'm a stupid bimbo, I'd probably blow him off with "sleep and netflix" too
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/19 03:05 PM
4

Hmm, or Work with other intelligent adults on intellectually stimulating problems to make a difference in your small corner of the world. Spend hours a day alone with an infant. Wake up every 2 hours through the night, change diapers, breastfeed, change more diapers, clean spit up, clean food/toys/spit from the floor, change diapers again, do laundry, try and figure out why your child is crying, breastfeed again, change more diapers, try and explain to spouse why dinner isn't ready yet because a…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/19 06:12 PM
3

compared to a job, being a housewife is easy! Lol when will stupid women realize! you idiot don't you know raising kids is work?! You're on a roll today! Nice work for a 1 day troll account, thanks for the laugh
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/19 01:54 PM
6

I can work to support myself and my family, my partner or I can stay home with our kids if we choose, we both get to sleep around (thanks, birth control and STD testing) and we're both free to move on if our relationship doesn't work for either of us anymore. I'm pretty sure we both win. Thank god I don't need to withhold sex to try and control a man, cause fuck that nonsense.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/19 12:20 PM
6

women don't want to work ha ha that's stupid oh wait you want to work? Selfish bitch you're a horrible mother chuckles
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/19 12:07 PM
2

So, yay for open relationships then
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/19 12:00 PM
1

I did, but the evidence seems sketchy at best...? Most of what i found linked back to the IFS, who I'm going to take with a grain of salt because of their agenda and history, but even they admit it's not clear cut with statements like Having multiple partners generally doesn’t increase the odds of divorce any more than having just a few does so They also come out occasionally with statements that women with 2, or 4, or 6-10 partners are dissatisfied to the same degree as those with more partners…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/19 11:52 AM
1

Well, at least we agree there's nothing wrong with wanting a monogamous arrangement. women who sleep around have a higher rate of divorce ...than whom? Men who sleep around? Virgins? And which women, the ones who sleep around in their marriage, or before? How many partners do you have to have to be "sleeping around the most"? How much higher? Is there a linear correlation between # partners and divorce rates? Correlation isn't causation and all that, but this is so vague it's meaningless
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/19 04:02 AM
2

Not at the cost of them hinting and dangling the expectation that they'd like to be repaid in sex, it isn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/19 12:25 AM
3

Lol, I'd actually love that line. It's playful, you sound like you don't take yourself too seriously. Be direct about what you want, and be cool about rejection.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/19 11:58 PM
5

make his intentions known without being too obvious I think this might be exactly what most of them are trying to do. It's about maintaining plausible deniability until they maybe make a move much later, and point the finger at the woman for leading them on if she says no. It's a dick move.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/19 11:34 PM
1

So based on how everybody here says high value men won't commit to a woman who's slept around, they're all insecure too?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/19 11:11 PM
9

Sluts'll do it for whatever whim You mean for fun and pleasure, just like men?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/19 10:37 PM
1

I'm talking about mating randomly to a degree, not completely at random. Complete randomness exists in a couple of species, but it's rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/19 01:44 PM
2

Many men could still be a fairly insignificant proportion of them. I've never met a guy who seemed to care.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/19 08:26 PM
1

it would make no sense for humans to be randomly attracted to one another I'm not sure on what basis you mean, but at least from an evolutionary perspective it does make sense. Genetically there's benefit to mixing it up; homogeneous populations are vulnerable.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/19 08:13 PM
1

Fair enough!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/19 07:39 PM
1

Morbid curiosity.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/19 06:06 PM
0

1 and 3: nope. If I'm interested in someone but they're acting uninterested in return, the attraction fades quickly. 2: in bed, occasionally. 4: don't give a shit. Being resourceful and able to take care of yourself is something I admire in anyone, though. 5: partly. I admire strength, but someone who never shows weakness seems like they're faking/putting up a front, and it's off-putting. Why do you care?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/19 05:59 PM
1

don't see it as work Maybe we have different definitions of work? I just mean something that takes time and effort, regardless of whether you're happy to do it. Being in a realtionship doesn't mean having kids, or even getting married, or even living together. True, but for a lot of people, there is the expectation that that is how things will progress, if it goes well. You've refuted a lot of people's answers with examples from your own life. Your experience might not be that common. When peopl…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/19 05:38 PM
1

I dunno about that, I was raised to always make sure I provided for myself and not to depend on someone else. A mutually supportive relationship is a plus, not a requirement.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/19 06:36 AM
2

How much work do you put into organizing you and your partner's social routine when you're in a relationship? How much work do you do to support her emotionally? I don't want to make assumptions about individuals but if you look at traditional gender roles those things fall more heavily on the woman's shoulders. Same for housework. Being in an LTR doesn't necessarily take the pressure off women in the same way as men. (Edit: from your comments you sound like a sweet and supportive partner and ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/19 06:13 AM
1

I'm not going to argue college admissions numbers specifically with you because I don't have any in front of me. I've never seen women in colleges referred to as a minority unless it was in a specific program where that was actually true. The principle is that where there is inequality, the more privileged group sometimes (in a zero sum game situation) does have to give up some of that privilege to provide access to the less privileged ones. I don't view that as infringement. But it's never a po…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/19 05:49 AM
1

It can go the other way around too. What's wrong with that?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/19 05:12 AM
1

That's just it, it's a fairytale. You'll be compatible in a few areas and sex is definitely one of the most important ones. That doesn't mean you have to have the exact same sex drive but you do need to be on the same page about working things out if you're different. But it's 100% guaranteed there will be differences, so being willing and happy to accommodate the other person when they come up is critically important.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/19 04:15 AM
2

women can get men effortlessly That's simply not true for the huge majority of women, and you obviously wildly underestimate how much time and money women invest in trying to make themselves more attractive as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/19 04:00 AM
1

Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/19 03:44 AM
1

You get to live your life as you want... but only to the point that you're not infringing on other people's ability to do so as well. That's why we go out of our way to establish diversity quotas and help people get loans who weren't able to before. When you start out at a disadvantage it takes a lot of work to catch up. It takes more than changing the law. You can't shit on a group of people for a hundred years, then say "okay now we're going to treat you as equals" and then shit on them some m…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/19 03:39 AM
1

Lol what stats
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/19 03:13 AM
3

a woman's claim to victimhood is assumed to be trustworthy No it's not, that is what women are fighting for. To be believed and taken seriously when they report sexual violence. And that's after the fact, so you're not talking about risky sex anymore, you're talking about what happens after something shitty has already gone down. a man's claim is likely to be dismissed as frivolous If you're talking about men's claims of being raped/assaulted, then yes, this is messed up and it's an issue
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/19 10:25 PM
1

What stats? I don't know how you'd calculate "average," but going by height (which I often see mentioned here) the average is 5'9", and anecdotally I know lots of guys below that who are v successful with women. Lots of chubby/fat guys too. I think it's easier for men to compensate for their physical appearance with other qualities than it is for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/19 06:46 PM
3

And admitting you need support is weak...? That's the kind of stereotype that seems to be harming men's health, and that lots people are trying to dismantle. And not just feminists, it reminds me of this article on art of manliness - https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/30-days-to-a-better-man-day-19-schedule-a-physical-exam/
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/19 05:32 PM
2

That doesn't answer the question... But it's interesting. Fat acceptance for women is run by fat women. Why wouldn't fat men do something similar?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/19 05:31 AM
1

you either fit the body type society has demanded of you or you lose out Pretty sure this applies to everyone. Is there any evidence that men are judged more harshly for their appearance than women?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/19 10:54 PM
4

I can't speak to fat acceptance for men, but Savage Love has done a few good columns about penis size over the years. Here's one: https://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=101571 And how do men with dicks so small that doctors feel free to toss around an ego-shattering prefix like "micro" do with the ladies? "This study found that they tend to have 'close and long-lasting relationships' with women," Dreger says.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/19 10:44 PM
2

This was a good thing to read today
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/19 04:30 PM
5

The problem is that these imperatives are some made-up bullshit, so your argument is void.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/19 04:21 PM
5

You're presenting no evidence for this. The whole point of relationships is there are benefits to doing things together instead of alone. the sexual and relationship market places are a zero-sum game How?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/19 04:19 PM
3

talk myself out of approaching So the blaming-women-for-not-telling-you-how-to-hit-on-them is an excuse because you're too nervous to go up to one and say hi
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/19 04:08 PM
1

Fixated != appreciative. It's not about what, it's about how. subscribe to my premium snapchat Supply and demand. I hear all this crap about "but sex is a neeeed" (not from you, granted), but nobody expects to be housed and fed for free. Same reason there aren't significant numbers of male prostitutes who service women. the vast majority of them never remotely even hear that their potential for sexuality is anything but unwanted, predatory And it doesn't occur to you that there might be a reason…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/19 03:15 PM
1

That wasn't the part I was questioning. Eh, like I said, you've clearly chosen your conclusions already and aren't interested in anybody who disagrees. Fortunately for them and for you, most women disagree with you. Everyone wins!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/19 04:10 AM
1

Yeah, but what is there to debate? No sex sucks and it turns into a bitchfest
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/19 02:07 AM
3

incompatible with their own sexuality No, you're just limiting female sexuality to whether the woman wants your dick in her specifically
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/19 01:53 AM
1

...?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/19 01:08 AM
1

Did I say it wasn't? Just because there are other reasons doesn't make this one good.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/19 01:07 AM
1

What does this have to do with this sub?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/19 01:03 AM
1

That is a poisonously stupid reason to get married which is totally ignorant of sex and human nature
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/19 12:23 AM
1

Well, anybody CAN. You know, women like to be appreciated as sexual creatures too. Why split this sort of thing along gender lines?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/19 11:56 PM
2

I could ask you whether you're being exploited by your baker, your plumber or your doctor, but I'm pretty sure you've already made up your mind and come to your own conclusion that women are eeeeevil. I suppose if you want to be appreciated as a sexual creature you'll just have to turn to men.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/19 06:18 PM
0

Funny you don't see more men advocating for legalization and better protections for sex workers, hmm?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/19 05:40 PM
0

Lol, what's wrong? In your hypothetical scenario you want a woman who will have sex with you on demand, and for whom you don't need to provide any support. Problem solved! I have no idea why you'd get married. For the record, the idea that paying the medical bills, buying the house, protecting your wife (huh? From what, bears?) and earning a living all falls on the husband is just as ass backwards as the idea that the wife shouldn't say no to sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/19 03:05 PM
3

If you have a measure of control over what turns you on, I'm not in a position to contradict you. But lots of people are stuck with kinks that in some cases they'd rather not have. Or sexual orientations for that matter. Nothing that you're saying depends on the people involved being chaste, though. You can do things differently together even if you've had sex before. Just like you can make a home together even though you've lived in other houses. Or create your own recipes, or holiday tradition…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/19 02:47 PM
11

Is it? Your sex life starts with your brain, your fantasies, your middle school crush, porn, random stuff that's not porn but that turns you on anyway. Of course, your partner can introduce you to new fun stuff too, but it's not a given that you'll like it just because it's new. You're not a duckling, you don't imprint on the first penis/vagina you see.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/19 06:09 AM
3

I don't think you have the right to demand support, love, empathy either. What kind of a relationship is that? If that's what it's come to, break it off. You are not compatible.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/19 05:39 AM
24

That's definitely not how sex works
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/19 05:20 AM
1

I wasn't talking about sex with a particular person, I meant that most people manage to have sex consensually. For what it's worth, I think of free will as an emergent property of humans. We feel that we have it, we can observe it (or what looks very much like it), so for practical purposes, we do.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/19 04:57 AM
9

For my part I have no intention of making another person my whole world, and that's not what I want a partner to see in me either. I don't consider that I've ever chosen poorly. To each their own. Since people and sex can be unpredictable, being sensitive to a change in libido seems like a serious vulnerability in a relationship. Terrorist, really? People change. You kinda have to know this is a possibility going in, you don't get to turn into the drama queen of the world if it happens. You seem…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/19 04:48 AM
3

Um, no. We both know people don't actually work that way - one's sex drive isn't a car, no matter how reductionist you'd like to be, so I'll leave it at that.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/19 03:54 AM
0

But you don't need to infringe people's rights to have sex. Anyway, without worrying about the exact definitions of need, sex and so on, I think we're on the same page about wanting to maximize human fulfillment. It's interesting you see it as a technological problem. I don't think of it that way partly because I have a gut feeling that anything less (other?) than another person would take something away from the experience. I think about it in terms of education; how do you teach people about g…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/19 03:40 AM
8

Well, I hear the other way around a lot too. "She got fat, she's lazy and stopped grooming, she doesn't wear nice clothes anymore, she wants me to do all the chores... can't I just go fuck my hot coworker/barista/whoever?" I agree this is unfortunate! Nobody should give up on their partners this way. But "I don't feel like it" IS a valid reason not to have sex. That doesn't mean it's a good state to be in, and if you've experienced a drop in sex drive it is worth exploring why.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/19 12:46 AM
1

I wasn't talking about hierarchy at all, but based on this I very much doubt that you and I share a common definition of human value If you place me too low on our common hierarchy compared to my perceived self-value, its only rational to stop playing that hierarchical game. If your perceived self-value is "I am attractive to all women," then I concede you have a point, you should certainly stop playing whatever game this is
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/19 12:37 AM
5

Because the implication I hear behind behind statements like "sex isn't hard" is "my wife should just suck it up and do it, because I don't want to get divorced." I agree divorce is no cakewalk, but if you can't bear to contemplate the possibility, you shouldn't get married.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/19 12:28 AM
2

I mean if you're looking for a sure thing, might I suggest you see a sex worker?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/19 12:12 AM
5

Nobody is being vilified for wanting sex. I also agree with you that both parties in a marriage sign up for sex; I think sexual compatibility is one of the most important things to establish early on. You don't get to spring your kinks on your partner after you've signed a lease together. You don't get to enthusiastically give blowjobs until the day after your wedding. However, lives are long. You can't go into marriage expecting you and your partner never to change. If you're in a monogamous re…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/19 12:02 AM
7

And my argument is that divorce should not be viewed as this sort of nuclear end of the world. If and when a relationship isn't working for the people in it anymore, rearrange it or end it. But your options do not include "somehow make this person have sex with me when they don't want to." Because your desire to have sex doesn't trump another person's desire not to have sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/19 11:34 PM
3

Well, presumably she was happily fucking him earlier in the relationship? People change. It's worth exploring. Still doesn't mean marriage gives you a pass to have sex if the other person doesn't want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/19 11:30 PM
2

Given 2, I think your other party requires rights, then, no? I'm uncomfortable defining sex as a need, because I'm very wary of letting the fulfillment of that need infringe on other people's rights. I agree sex can be wonderful and beneficial (especially if it respects the criteria you listed). I don't discount solo sex, and I think there should be less stigma around prostitution to help people access sex. And robots are interesting too... but I'd more classify that as a kind of masturbation, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/19 10:35 PM
2

kids get a great lesson in how negotiation absolutely doesn't work... they won't see all the details I hope the kids have nothing to do with mom and dad's conversations about their sex lives dad isn't happy And you think being badgered about sex you don't want to have and being made to feel guilty about it is a peachy time, do you? sex isn't that hard Not relevant. You're not free to do as you please like there aren't consequences I didn't say there weren't. By all means, if the consequences of …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/19 10:06 PM
11

Why does "divorce" have to mean "be the bad guy"? No-fault divorce exists, and this is why people split up over irreconcilable differences. Sorry, but not wanting sex really is a thing, and you're not allowed an override of someone's desires just because you married them. You're free to renegotiate the terms of your marriage, or you're free to leave.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/19 09:05 PM
57

I agree it's unfair to refuse sex in a monogamous relationship. However, both people have a responsibility to disclose their desires and limits prior to making a commitment, i.e. establish together "what is reasonable" first. Don't spring a bunch of kinks on your partner after you're married, don't suddenly demand sex 3 times a day, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/19 08:56 PM
1

You're making a false equivalency between having a good personality and women being attracted to you. Having a good personality may be important or even necessary to make you attractive, but it's not sufficient. Let's say you're a guy who's attracted to blonde women. Does she have to be blonde to get your dick hard? Maybe. Does it follow that you get horny for every blonde you see? Of course not. You're also referencing women who talk about their committed partners, not their flings or one-night…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/19 08:32 PM
1

Fair enough re: free will, but I don't think it's relevant to the question. You're asserting that sex is a need, but you don't seem to have a clear definition of sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/19 07:48 PM
2

Interesting. What is it about sex that satisfies this need, then, if not the connection with another person? If an alternative with no free will and no rights could conceivably satisfy this need, in what way would they have to be different from a microwaved cantaloupe?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/19 07:06 PM
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