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drtij_dzienz Archive

View 1 post and 110 comments by drtij_dzienz on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
9

drtij_dzienz/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 02:30 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
9

Yup, you are browsing apps, she is fucking a guy from work/gym. Tale as old as time on this sub. Guys playing checkers, ex wife is playing chess 3 moves ahead of you. Did you mention “her” daughter as in “not yours”? If so, yeah no wonder this was happening it’s probably preordained.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 12:30 PM
1

It’s pretty normalized for married men in USA to only be judged as providers and caregivers. When they fail at that and their wives move on, the wives build up their next life in the background, guys think they are “doing better” because complaint and fight frequency goes down in this period. when wives finally tell their stbx “it’s over” it usually blindsides the guy and he thinks it “came out of nowhere”. Tale as old as time we read it everyday on this sub.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/26 03:16 PM
2

I read through this, there is all this talk about how the gambling effects your finances , while there is zero talk about whether or not you love him at the personal level. So the way it reads, you already don’t love him, you only value him as much as his ability to pay for stuff, and with the gambling, he is fundamentally broken as a provider. The only thing keeping you around, is you don’t yet have something better to go to. In divorced men subreddit this is called a “monkey branch”. You are s…
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/26 02:13 PM
1

I don’t know how it works in UK, but in USA there are other mandatory reporters like child therapist or school officials. If your kids are reporting abuse to these people, they are required to report to officials. That way it doesn’t look like the reports are just only being made by an angry dad.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 07:28 PM
1

Started getting fb ads when my *friends* got separated
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/26 06:28 PM
2

You’re invoking DV here, nobody would recommend risking your personal safety and life to get a slightly bigger cut of house equity.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 11:41 PM
3

Being morbidly obese and not looking for work is a tough combo … it’s like giving up completely on life
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 11:54 AM
5

Kids are school age
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 11:50 AM
7

She likely monkey branched: someone at work, gym etc. This is going to be difficult for you to reckon when you discover it, but if you can remove your emotions, it will actually work in your favor. She will be motivated to go through the divorce process quickly.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 08:45 PM
6

Dudes fuckin some married women (in his head cannon)
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 08:32 PM
2

Yeah I mean Karen Read is available … for a reason
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 08:32 PM
2

Is the INSANE job opportunity still INSANE when you factor in paying child support for all your kids and leaving them behind. If you go and start a new life won’t you just go ahead and repeat this cycle with a third woman you grow to resent? You should not spend your life running from problems that you yourself created. You say that she is not a partner for you but would she say the same thing about you? Have you both ever done counseling together to try and make it work? Edit I guess we did not…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 12:21 PM
6

Agree with upvoters4truth… also Think about the quality of person that will sleep in a married person’s bed with a married person, eesh
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/26 02:11 PM
7

Seems like she has a new guy, probably from work or gym, so she is in a hurry to get out.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 08:36 PM
1

Body cam?
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 11:34 AM
2

reminds me of this recent wojak video
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 10:43 PM
1

I don’t really understand what you are trying to type. Disagreeing about money is one of the biggest cause of divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 08:15 PM
6

My understanding is, even if she was squirreling away her paychecks in personal accounts, she still has to declare these assets in the divorce and they are split evenly. If she is hiding it with a friend or family member it would be more complicated to recover the money.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 01:49 PM
1

As a married couple it’s not his and his, it’s theirs. Technically their combined income goes to pay for the care of these children and the tax credit is applied to their joint tax return. In a normal healthy marriage it wouldn’t be such a big deal for the return to be deposited into an individual account and transferred to the joint account.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 11:50 PM
1

If she wanted a man with a regular job, she would not have gone for a musician 7 years her junior. You could be assistant to the general manager of a regional paper distributor and it still wouldn’t have worked out. Look at her track record, with you she completed the hat trick. Who knows, later on she could try to hit for the cycle and go for a fourth. Conversely if you didn’t want to be a single dad, you should have never gotten with a single mom with kids from different men.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 04:56 PM
6

Women don’t get over it fast, they start grieving the end of the relationship much earlier. They tell their husband “it’s over” when they are finished with that stage and ready to date someone from work or gym.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 12:38 PM
1

Now you have a new life that will require you to provide for yourself
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 08:43 PM
1

I dunno why not get a job and build your business on the side?
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 05:11 PM
1

That’s a horrible problem and I don’t have any good advice for you
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 05:23 PM
1

It’s hard to make friends as an adult. Do you have any interests or hobbies? If you join a club or group class about that hobby/interest you would at least surround yourself with like minded individuals. It doesn’t have to be something you are already good at; it could be something you always wanted to learn. You could take a language or a martial art class, for example. For me, I have some social network at the boxing gym at which I take classes.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 10:06 AM
2

If you couldn’t immediately buy out, would it be possible to restructure the profit distribution as salary?
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 02:04 AM
1

Maybe he is depressed about something that could be fixed but you have to align on a solution. Like if he is depressed about his job but family depends on the income, what does an exit strategy look like? How much money to set aside for being unemployed after quitting? If he is depressed over something that can not simply be “fixed” I think he needs to get treatment for it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 05:13 PM
1

“Sorry babe I need a divorce so I can work on myself” It’s way colder to withhold the satisfaction of confrontation or argument, if there’s no strategic benefit to going there
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 12:54 PM
15

If you had “policed” her social media she still would have left you (for being controlling). The social media was just some public-facing monkey branching. Don’t blame yourself. But thanks for posting your story. I do remember my friends wife posting bad stuff to social media, such as posed instagram photos with “work husband”. My friend dismissed my concerns and was totally blindsided by the separation a year later.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 01:17 PM
2

Some guys are not but There are a lot of simps out there
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/25 03:50 PM
10

Wouldn’t she just find some other guy to pay for stuff?
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 10:58 PM
7

If you file you might save the lives of your daughter and stepson. That would be pretty good motivation for me. She is not “functioning decently” as you say. She’s putting your daughter’s life at risk when she drinks and drives with her. Divorce might even be the wake up call that saves her life.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 06:48 PM
2

Dave would just say it’s a relationship problem not a financial problem
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/25 08:41 PM
3

Yeah it reads like one of those stories where she agrees to refinance the house in her name within 2y, then 5y later bros name is still on the mortgage and he can’t buy his own house.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 04:04 PM
9

Not to be mean but look at it objectively. Yeah you pay the bills but also between you and your kids, you are probably responsible for most of them in the first place. If she lived alone and was working “at her level” I’m sure she could pay her own bills no problem. Being cared for and getting along is kind of a baseline for any relationship. Not taking vacations is a big deal, a dealbreaker type of deal for a marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 03:15 PM
19

I read the post I’m not sure what she is getting out of the relationship and it makes sense she would nope out. She bought the house, apparently relocated, has to spend each day a step parent to another woman’s kids, doesn’t have an equal vote in parenting. Basically every scenario the manoverse warns to not marry single moms but gender reversed.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 02:22 PM
7

Step 1 divorce husband, step 2 get gigantic dog for companionship. I’ve heard the saying “men are dogs” but I never knew it was literally equivalent.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 01:32 PM
3

I think a lot of guys in this situation enter therapy. Since you’ve already got a couples counselor maybe you can switch it to individual sessions and start very quickly? I think people also lean on their network, visit old friends on the weekends rather than being alone.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/25 12:44 AM
5

What will probably hurt more, is not fighting for them when you had the chance
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 12:12 AM
2

If it was alimony, alimony rules would apply. If you negotiate something else instead of alimony, I don’t understand why alimony would rules apply. If OP knew about AP he might have been better off letting them seek alimony, then moving to get it removed later on once the inevitable cohabitation occurred.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 07:14 PM
2

You made an agreement to pay her $20k from the sale of the house. What does that have to do with alimony?
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 10:21 AM
2

Ok sounds like you’ve got a plan to chillax and enjoy the weekend. You’ve been estranged from stbx for 5y tbh it makes sense she would make plans independent from you and not communicate them. It’s sub optimal but shouldn’t be unexpected.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/25 05:52 PM
2

If you feel too awkward might as well just pack it up and drive home. You are not able to go there and act normal, chill? You made it sound as other person was acting weird and you were the normal bro.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/25 05:42 PM
3

If you are in text contact with your kids, can they just invite you to “events” like bonfire?
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/25 05:25 PM
10

I think the value of the Rolex would be part of marital property. I don’t think it’s possible to loan money to a spouse. That would just be like, you agreed she could spend $20k of your combined money.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/25 01:17 PM
9

Never show your coworkers where they can hurt you
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 10:29 PM
12

Just do nothing with the chat GPT and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/25 12:55 AM
2

You are getting all the downvotes but fair question. What attracted him to her in the first place?
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 11:25 AM
1

Then she would be trying to squeeze out as much money as possible on her way out
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 11:02 PM
4

I mean that, when a woman wants to move out and quickly cut her losses, not overly focused on extracting her equity from the relationship, usually there is a new Beau she is running to be with.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 08:18 PM
5

She has a new bf?
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 06:35 PM
5

I’ve noticed some guys try to maintain the home situation to leave the door open to reconciliation, and the ex wives explicitly tell them about what they are doing to communicate that the door should be shut.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 12:18 PM
5

Funnie comment but 2bfair OP didn’t say he didn’t see it coming. OP says it’s “hard to believe” as an idiomatic expression, but yeah, when someone is taking on debt to live the entrepreneurial lifestyle instead of working a real job that pays real money, that’s a form of financial abuse, and people will leave that so they don’t get dragged further down a hole.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 12:21 PM
2

Yeah 43 is too old to have the girls parents creaking around upstairs sheesh
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 12:51 AM
1

Greyrock, take the sale money, buy a comparable house, live your best life… That’s way more practical than paying lawyers to fight a judge order, making some shell entity to buy the house for you, etc. whatever games we could dream up
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/25 03:49 PM
4

Just sounds like she knows you have an emotional attachment to keeping the house and will force the sale to hurt you. Fighting it only deepens her resolve.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/25 03:21 PM
3

I suspect the breadwinners pay a higher marginal tax rate than the recipients too
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 07:53 PM
4

She may weaponize the details as needed. Like if you are pushing her to try couples counseling, she can describe what she does with others as a way to tell you it’s very over.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 02:19 PM
2

Basically, for every man saying their ex “has BPD” there is a woman saying their ex “is a narcissist”.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 04:23 PM
4

Yeah OP is getting twisted over a hypothetical here
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 01:10 PM
6

My kid has a lot of extrovert energy and needs to go to daycare for the socialization. She would be really frustrated being at home every day. I think it depends on the kid.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/24 12:00 AM
2

Alan sapinsly’s advice to Tony Tony takes the advice to make it nearly impossible for Carmela to go after marital assets in her failed divorce attempt
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 01:54 AM
2

That strategy is a Sopranos reference, whitecaps episode
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 11:04 PM
1

What if she never sells or puts mortgage in her name? Free house forever for her? You never realize your half of the equity?
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 08:26 PM
1

I think she might rationalize it as "I don't want to hurt him more than I have to". Then as everything drags out she will have to drop more small details of infidelity until he too agrees it is over.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 12:23 PM
1

Yeah if wife already said divorce it’s over. The counseling sesh is just going to be about explaining the divorce like a disgruntled Glassdoor review. She will even describe the inevitable adultery so the husband will understand how ‘over’ it is and become agreeable to the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 02:43 PM
4

You would rather she keep your name while banging other dudes???
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 12:09 PM
10

The spark isn’t gone, she’s feeling the spark from someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 05:11 PM
8

A divorced couple competing to ‘win’ social media looks bad for both of you. The people posting the most photos of themselves having ‘fun’ irl are guaranteed to be the saddest mfs on there
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 11:18 AM
7

She will want to divorce when she has successfully monkey branched
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/24 05:10 PM
7

“Officer, officer she got in bed with me!!”
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 01:40 PM
4

Yeah its possible spouse can settle for less to get to AP faster. That's one of the most common ways high earning spouses keep more than 50%.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 11:55 AM
3

Isn’t the divorce negotiation easier if she has an AP to get to? That way the divorce benefits her beyond the cash settlement. Whereas if she is only divorcing because she hates you so much, would be very contentious?
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 08:02 PM
8

Have no idea but it sounds like marrying someone with a big inheritance and not getting awarded any of it in the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 12:43 AM
1

Is there any reason she would not take the kids to her family’s house and begin divorce/custody proceedings from there? Why wouldn’t she use credit cards and marital assets to pay for a lawyer? How do you protect yourself against abuse allegations? You can stay professional with her but I think you want to take lead on official divorce process so it begins with your kids living at your home.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 12:10 PM
4

Should motivate both of you to finalize divorce. My friend has been separated over a year now, hasn’t even hired attorney
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 01:30 AM
25

She’s only going back to you because none of those 4 guys wanted a relationship with her. Hit it and moved on. Low value. If it is really only 4 guys. That would make you, at best, 5th choice. You’re worth more than that bro
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 02:06 PM
1

Will the separation lengthen and complicate the divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 10:07 PM
7

Monkey branching to CEO
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/24 07:55 PM
-2

The post clearly is not relatable for people who had different divorce experiences. It’s meant for the guys who are wasting time/money/energy to get their stbx back. Guys who unnecessarily villainize Monkey Branching when it’s the exact thing men do to protect their livelihoods. Guys who know something is wrong in their marriage but are putting off action until there is a crisis. This is a specific subset of separated bros.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 05:28 PM
-1

For sure. An endless hamster wheel of nags is no good. Everything goes both ways.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 04:15 PM
1

A lot of separated bros are going from regular, hassle-free sex to Zero Sex, all while their STBX’s are openly bragging about their growing body count to them. These guys would be ‘highly motivated’ to tell dating prospects what they want to hear. I did see a dad coming out of a divorce, emotionally devastated due to adultery, he was fully committed to never marrying ever ever again. He quickly married his rebound though, after she got pregnant.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 01:30 PM
5

A lot of women wouldn’t date separated bros for this very scenario. Who wants to be the rebound?
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 01:17 PM
6

I think for a long time the phrase has been “six feet, six figures, six pack, six inches…” I heard on Kevin Samuels show saying he heard it in the 80s. Probably every guy 5’9”+ is saying they are six feet tall to not have one strike against them.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 12:24 PM
5

Wait?
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 11:18 AM
5

Then they go ahead and do it anyway. How can someone “control” the uncontrollable?
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 05:31 PM
2

Is that $30k one-time? Or annual? Only time I saw a wife settle for so little one-time payoff was when she wanted out fast, to be with secret AP.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/24 06:14 PM
5

Seems very specific, but sure. That would cross a boundary
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 08:08 PM
9

“Still ambulatory. Could hike if required”
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 12:00 PM
8

They say the fiercest battles take place over the smallest stakes
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 10:07 PM
0

Might also want to get rid of the guns. I don’t know where average bros think they can handle guns, motorcycles, trt, lsd, alcohol, K, dating, and children all at once. Just sounds like a recipe for tragedy and a psychotic break is a soft landing by comparison. This Joe Rogan warrior poet archetype is a glorified myth used to sell stuff, not a blueprint for adulthood
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/24 06:57 PM
4

Yeah a coworker was mentally broken by a bad divorce. Swore he would never marry again. In a couple years he had gotten new gf pregnant and pressured to marry, age 45. He would often say he would never retire, just that he would likely have a heart attack on his 2h commute. I hope it works out well for him and his problems don’t repeat.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/24 03:38 PM
4

What’s old man balls AP?
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 05:41 PM
6

She doesn’t want to be with you ever again but doesn’t want to say it yet. Until then she can just be separated and have access to your money without having to live or have sex with you. Eventually you will finally talk her into counseling and it will cost a lot of money out of pocket. All the focus and complaints will be on you, she won’t introspect at all. Then after 6 sessions of that she will finally describe how she cheated on you earlier in the week, in order to force your hand in filing f…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 05:59 PM
4

Then it sounds like being a single dad with half the money is better
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 01:46 PM
4

If you were a single dad, would you marry your wife to double your money?
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 01:24 PM
11

Women can have mid life crisis too I guess
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/24 12:58 AM
1

Maybe she is just updating you about her family situation but doesn’t want to talk to you about it directly because you have a strained relationship. Pete Davidson talking in the background, because he is Pete Davidson 🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 04:18 PM
3

Sounds like she lost all respect for you when you couldn’t provide a home for her
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 02:17 PM
3

I watch too many weight loss journey YouTubers to believe she could lose the weight natty (without surgery or ozempic)
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 02:20 AM
1

PsycHacks on YouTube
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 01:06 AM
2

Is saying she is grateful good or bad? There is this woman on YouTube April Lauren who would always say she is so grateful, like it was some religious coaching. But that wasn’t how she actually felt.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 10:39 PM
5

How do you tell whether a woman thinks like this or not, early in the relationship?
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 08:59 PM
10

Some women want their husband to make 50% more than them. So if she makes $80k she wants her husband to make about $120k. Not all women are like this (like my sister in law has out earned her husband for decades). But for the ones that think this way, 50% is the magic number I think.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 08:57 PM
11

If you were single, living alone in your own apartment, would you marry your wife and move into her dog excrement filled house? No? Hell naw? Then why would you STAY in it??
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 04:21 PM
0

Ok, don’t work on the marriage then, just go hire a divorce lawyer…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 01:04 AM
2

In my experience she is already organizing a place to live once she separates from you. She is just waiting for you to do something that gives her the reason to move out. Putting a surveillance device in her car is actually taking the bait that will give her the moral high ground in your future separation and divorce. So if you put some apple tag or recording device in her car … she’s probably just going to find it and angrily move out. This move is just going to backfire in my opinion and it’s …
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 04:30 PM
-2

Women will be the one that filed for divorce, but that doesn’t mean they unilaterally ended the relationship. Alotta Guys will suffer in a bad relationship for their whole life, to avoid the temporary pain of loneliness, asset loss, rejection, etc. Guys will put up with many poor qualities of their partner, be resentful, but never follow through on an ultimatum and leave. Usually by the time a woman files for divorce they’ve given their husband opportunity to resolve longstanding issues, but guy…
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/23 03:13 PM
1

Divorce is expensive, might be worth trying to fix it. Affection, sex, seems like something that’s not impossible to reestablish.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 01:06 AM
3

$1100 for cps-level child abuse care ~$1500/child plus pay cut for real daycare Shit sucks
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 02:21 PM
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