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View 1 post and 35 comments by duck_duck_mallard on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
16

duck_duck_mallard/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 11:16 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
9

I don’t think he said he had kids, just dogs. And while OP may be in his first-love-after-divorce phase I’m still happy for him and the hope his message gives. Thanks OP and good luck to you sir thunderous farts!
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 08:18 PM
1

I can just say - if you’re honest with yourself regarding all of this - then this relationship that you jumped into, fell into love with, was not something you were ready for. We’ve all gone though this first love after separation and it’s often worse than the actual divorce. This is not the end - it’s the beginning. It’s the beginning of you courageously rebuilding yourself. Please please please reach out to all the resources listed here.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/26 12:13 PM
6

I want you to know brother that we are here with you. Many of us have struggled and continue to struggle with the same thing. I know it’s impossibly hard to see the future as hopeful but it’s absolutely a temporary mental state. Eventually you will also come to realize that while your fuck up may be your own, it is not the only thing that was the issue and the other side has culpability too. We care about you too. If you’re in the Maryland area I’d be more than happy to meet up with you to talk …
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 09:07 PM
1

Yep this too …
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 03:09 PM
2

Wow - incredible summary of a phenomenon that I have experienced recently. The comet-sailor analogy is dead on. The instant connection dead on. The how I felt about myself, dead on. It being a messenger, dead on. I’m still having a hard time letting go of a single night of intense connection, like squeezing water out of a rock. I want to also have it be scaffolding and move on. I will save this post and come back to it over and over again. And will now research enneagrams! Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 03:08 PM
3

One thing to consider - just the awareness you have around your own childhood experience is a good indicator yours won’t go through it the same way. I do feel your pain on the overall night though. They get so lonely and painful. We live in separate homes now , our kids are much younger though. It still feels surreal. The kids are great. I miss them when they are gone, but love them 2x when they are here.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 03:13 AM
3

This I don’t know and it’s potentially the biggest risk I have. Like will it cause legal issues for me?
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 01:12 AM
5

That’s what happened and going forward I guess I do say none of your business
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 01:11 AM
2

Thank you - yea lots of codependence on both sides. And no I don’t want to get back together. This time apart has been the most serene, relatively, that I’ve been in years despite (or because of?) it all falling apart.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 01:11 AM
3

This right here (as other posts). This person I met showed me there is a possibility for a different life. And now mistreated I was. Now it’s about dealing with weird fallout my ex has caused (and me for answering)
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 01:09 AM
6

Came here to see this .. I’m dealing with a similar thing. Due to the “hunger” of emotional and physical connection I latch on this way.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 06:46 PM
11

This is the one of the most resonant things I’ve read. Like ever. Thank you for putting this together.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 05:37 PM
3

This might also entirely be a protective mechanism. I’ve often felt that as men we forget painful things faster, and it always appears that the women somehow remember things from years ago. I have to often go back and read my journal entries to remember how bad I was feeling, but you’re right it doesn’t bring the feeling back.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 03:59 PM
1

Agreed - OP please do what you need to CYA Edit .. the other post detailing the communication and that you’re being mischaracterized is much better
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 07:11 PM
7

I am like shook by both the situation the ex is putting him in and some comments here. If the roles were switched and mom was sleeping in bed with kids in her underwear would the same scrutiny/ label be applied? Is anyone commenting speaking from actual legal experience? How does putting more clothes on change the situation - the disgusting insinuation is there and I think OPs primary objective would be to CYA and to get clarity on why ex is behaving this way. Those are still little kids, my dau…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 04:07 PM
6

Thank you for posting .. I feel the same way today
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 10:26 PM
6

Thanks for posting this - yep same boat. And as men I feel like we easily forget the bad, which is I say much harder for women to do. We then rationalize. If it wasn’t for my journals I would at this point (3 months into full separation) forgotten how bad things were.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 10:16 PM
2

Yo well put brotha!
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 09:45 PM
1

I am glad you’re here and thank you for posting. I am happy for your relationship with your kids - they are the most important thing (I have 2 little ones 1 and 4). The financial stuff is just that - financial. At least partially you (we) become successful thru trusting our guts, if you have any doubts regarding the lawyer I would trust you gut there. Part of this process involves reclaiming what was lost in the relationship - parts of ourselves we gave up as sacrifice. We can now get them back …
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 02:09 PM
2

This is a great idea - can we make this happen?
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 12:49 PM
6

And that’s unfortunately very common and so, so unfair. I’m thinking of you brother. Thanks for coming here.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 12:40 AM
6

Thanks and you’re not wrong. I’d like to think that all our situations are unique and even though what you mention is generic, it’s all legitimate. I do think like it takes a bit of the empathy away when each post is the same however. Appreciate you taking the time to reply.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 12:38 AM
6

It’s the feeling of “what if” right ? That was the worst for me. That giving it all didn’t change anything. 28 years is a long time - my .. whatever .. and I met 10 years ago on this day, we’ve been separated for a few months now. It’s still incomprehensible.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 12:01 AM
6

I get it man and these are all good common sense things … but just spamming this (do you have a bot setup to auto reply?) every time for every post is insensitive? I don’t know the right word.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 11:58 PM
2

I have a feeling the words “re - traumatized” was likely used over and over by her. There is this pattern established where they were planning on leaving anyway and just looked for the opportunity. So a small transgression has an outside effect. Or yea there is more to the story.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 05:24 PM
1

She decided she needed to leave the state to be closer to family and friends. I just completed moving into a 3 bedroom apartment this week 10 min drive away. Interaction is very cordial. We even hug before I leave, which is usually after putting the kids down to bed. Starting this week, I expect that we will start taking on more of a regular schedule. Some of my regrets include not being able to see her for who she is earlier, both for better and for worse. For example, I only recently understoo…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/25 02:19 AM
1

Married 7 years, known for 9, in couples therapy for 5. 2 kids 1 and 4. Just high level - YES. I feel in a similar way. Especially with regard to energy levels / social interactions / hobbies. What comes up for me recently (though I suspected it from the start) is that I felt the same .. pressure to lock down and get married/have kids. Coming off also a long term relationship which wasn’t toxic per se, but just not good for me. So I feel that my decision making wrt to my wife was compromised. An…
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/25 03:51 PM
1

Made me laugh out loud !!
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 04:16 PM
1

My wife / whatever it is right now prioritized having children above anything else …. And we ended up being very incompatible and heading towards divorce. That could be your future. At least she’s very up front around her priorities. Mine hid hers to some degree and everything became about the child/children and the support I had to give. When the relationship starts there (kids wise) it becomes hard to change anything about it after the fact. Recently moved to a suburb and it is definitely a ch…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 10:15 PM
5

Good luck - same situation years wise relationship and kids age and timing of separation (ours was June). I hope you can find your way back to each other if you truly feel that is what will make you happy.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/25 03:15 AM
2

Did you write this ?? This is very good summary of some major variables in play.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 02:22 AM
1

Yea often I hear the blame game happen. What you won’t hear is the men usually blaming the women for all that went wrong. The difference is accountability. I read your history, sounds familiar. Also ask - was there a level of support that would have been adequate for this person? I think some/most first time moms without support from other women around them feel alone regardless of the support a man is able to provide. Also you are both very young. Both your brains are still forming and learning…
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 09:58 AM
2

Thank you for sharing
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 04:39 PM
3

I feel that this is a crucial thing to address prior to ending it. And the way you would not regret this decision is to honestly take a full inventory of all the things you are capable and willing to do - and do them. All of them, or at least enough that you could look back and say “I tried my hardest” The best analogy I could say is on a soccer pitch (or pick your sport). If you lost the game but knew you tried every thing you could, couldn’t breathe any more, couldn’t run a single step further…
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 12:15 AM
1

Thank you for starting the thread OP. Your story is dead on with mine. pale .. amazing stuff - I am really resonating with this as well
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/25 02:24 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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