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View 1 post and 21 comments by dugduggyneow on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

dugduggyneow/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 09:49 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

This happens to me too, sometimes randomly some impulse connects to another memory, and the pain is quick to come up. For me, talking to a therapist helps a lot. There is no judgement, and admitting what you felt and why you felt it helps me understand the emotions. Sometimes, insightful questions by the therapist could make you realise why we got to this situation and what may be required to get back to some normalcy. One piece of advice I got that recovery will take time but anytime you feel t…
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 06:13 AM
15

Absolutely agree with this. So many things are just portrayed as this is normal with a double standard for men. Recently, my spouse had an emotional affair and I remembered an event during the beginning of our relationship where she net a friend in a cafe telling me that she just needed to give some stuff to him that she had bought overseas. Later she told me that she had met him some time ago on a dating app but the meeting was just to give some things to him. I brought that recently while in a…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 01:36 PM
1

She accepts that it's her fault but I think she wants me to feel guilty for whatever I did or did not do in order to reconcile. I have in the past folded sometimes even when I knew that she was in the wrong, but this time trying to be stronger. I mean, the things she accuses me of were never that big, a lack of compliments, and a lack of physical intimacy. We had sex in May and tried to resolve things, but every attempt led her into a raging screaming fight. So I kept my distance. By no means wa…
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 02:40 PM
1

This is exactly my thought. I do compliment but she wears weird dresses and loud colors so probably haven't done it much. I sometimes pointed out that she is getting dark circles and asked if she would like me to buy a cream for that. One time I said that her makeup was uneven and noticeable. Apparently that meant that I only notice flaws and never appreciate her beauty. She is now trying to guilt me, saying that I have shattered her by starving her for compliments. I have been distant because e…
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 02:35 PM
1

Well there has been constant fights where I am blamed as the sole issue. She has a borderline personality disorder and she loves to turn around things if I slightly disagree with her. These fights have been affecting my work so I tended to minimise talking to have some calm in the house. Apparently that was enough "emotional deprivation" for her to seek out someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 10:00 PM
2

I can go for it but given that we are in a rental unit and lease is solely in my name and there are no shared assets, it might not be worth doing if she moves out without causing issues. In the UK after I get the temporary decree then I can go for a binding legal consent order for the financial split. Giving her any money now would be as good as burning it. We don't have any joint accounts or credit cards, and she has one personal credit card so she can't get joint debt, I guess.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 07:07 PM
2

The poem is quite awesome, thanks for sharing.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 07:02 PM
1

We could but only if we never consummated the marriage which has happened. So if we both state that we never had sex after marriage we can go for that but then she can back out someday and say that she was forced to say this which would lead me to fraud charges.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 12:45 PM
1

I just told her that I know about this and I don't see a path forward. She was willing to leave the next day but now is asking for a week to find somewhere to stay. Would be a hard week to get through.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 12:43 PM
1

In the UK we can start the filing at 1 year after the marriage and then there is a 20 week cooling off period, then we can apply for the temporary decree to dissolve the marriage. Only after that I can file the settlement agreement. So will need to get my wife to mediation around that time. I have a good idea about what I can offer as settlement but I am sure she will drag this for maximum gain. I am already the person who made her cheat on me thereby corrupting her moral values. With reasoning …
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 10:14 AM
1

That's an excellent suggestion but since we are living in a cramped house I just couldn't stay in the same house without going crazy that she is sexting with someone in the other room. On the plus side recorded a conversation where she admitted the infidelity. She might start guilt tripping soon and rewrite our history to blame me in the process.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 01:12 AM
1

Yeah you are right, she is lying and making up a lot of things on the fly. Timeline is all messed up. Will pack her up tomorrow morning and hopefully she goes without creating a scene.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 01:09 AM
3

Thanks man, going to try but I am in pretty bad shape. Will seek a therapist and try to work through some issues, as soon as I get her out of the house. Hopefully tomorrow.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 01:08 AM
2

We are both mid 30s, she has emotional needs that need full time work. She needs compliments on her looks, her work and everything she does needs to be praised. And I am not a person who just praises constantly. I am recording all conversations. Basically recorded her confessing that she kissed and laid with her affair partner. Apparently he saved her life as he gave her emotional support when I could not, as I am not a mind reader.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 01:07 AM
5

Thanks for all the replies. I could not hold back and confronted her with a note. She accepted the mistake but in classic borderline personality disordered person turned it around on me. Basically I had starved her of emotional attention and that is why she became the person who cheats on a spouse. And that this is not her. Load of bs. Now she is making up lies and stories around the timeline. Anyways gonna ask her to leave tomorrow morning and she seems OK with that for now. She is basically cr…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 01:03 AM
1

Thanks for the suggestion, will try to write a letter and give it to her.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 10:42 PM
2

Thanks for the reply, I am not going to have an angry outburst but I feel i need to tell her that I know. She got cheated on in her 1st marriage and now she is returning the favor back. I just can't believe that.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 10:15 PM
3

We haven't slept together in the last 2 months so that's something. The state I am in I am not sure I can go grey rock and hold it in. I need to tell her it's over but after that I won't find any other evidence for cheating. Not that it would matter in UK family courts as they don't consider adultery as a factor anymore. Thanks for responding, really helps to get some advice.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 10:13 PM
1

Ah that is indeed interesting. I didn't follow the case at the time, but the description of the disorders is quite detailed. I myself have watched my parents have a dysfunctional relationship for years and that probably made me ignore all of the red flags that were flaring up. Mostly I was so tired of being alone but now I am not alone but more lonely and crushed than ever. I think it's time to cut my losses and make a clean break. Reading through this gave me a clear sense that what I am hoping…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 09:51 PM
3

Sorry for what you went through. I have been put in the 'its all your fault' mode by my wife, who has the emotional maturity and stability of a toddler, and I keep wondering that even if I do all that she expects, will it make things any better. Reading through this I can already glimpse that no matter what I do, it won't change a damn thing. Apologies for the rant and thanks again for sharing this.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 09:02 PM
2

Awesome resource, reading through it just realised that my spouse exhibits textbook HPD behaviour. It has been so confusing looking at her reactions, now atleast I know I am not crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 08:12 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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