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dutchie19 Archive

View 5 posts and 96 comments by dutchie19 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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29

...is to LEAVE THEM THE FUCK ALONE
/r/seduction04/04/22 04:47 PM
2

Accept you have gotten older, and date girls your own age, problem solved.
/r/seduction14/03/22 05:44 PM
54

Oh so true!! Met a man (he is a customer at my work) and hit it off over the summer, chatter and mild flirting. Fast forward last week I gave him my # one day, feeling bold. Seems to good to be true, he is a polite & well spoken, handsome and very physically fit man, like model quality and really chiseled (flag #1). Tons in common, too good to be true it seems. What's the catch? I feel he's out of my league, he assures me I'm not. A few days in he tells me he has a son, AFTER I notice a high cha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 10:30 AM
5

Sounds like my Narc ex, talking to his, "estranged and has sole custody of their kid" gf. When I found out, begged for advice on how to patch their relationship, missing the fact he had been trying for weeks behind my back
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 12:06 AM
13

Should have been a red flag before I got married, too much anxiety to ever complain or return anything to store - ever. Clothes that didn't fit, wrong parts or items, and same w/ the sides!! 15 years wasted - this woman figured it out wayyyyy sooner - Congratulations!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 02:10 AM
7

Wow, that was eye opening
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 12:13 PM
115

For me it meant entire house renovations, a new job, a new car and and a new lease on life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 10:42 AM
15

So that they can be: mediocre at best, at all times
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 04:59 PM
20

I'm not really glad to read this, but have been going through the same with my friend, we both decided NO MORE LVM after for a a 3yr relarionship w/ a covert narc for me and hers with a cheating longterm bf. She then promptly gets into a red flag laden relationship with a couple where first 6 months was on/off, hot/cold, in/out. Complete trauma bonding took place and she fell, hard, for the man, who now is abusing the shit out of her because, BDSM, and she tells me, "don't worry I've always been…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 11:34 AM
36

Holy fuck! You dated my narc ex bf too?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 12:36 PM
44

Your story could gave been mine, we've all been there, but now we're UNSTOPPABLE!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 02:59 AM
2

That looks amazing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 01:18 AM
52

As a fellow ex of a covert narc, you know it won't last - that poor replacement for you will soon be in your shoes. Distraught, and hurt, as we were. Lost for words and sick. I feel bad for any of his next victims, knowing he's only love bombing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 12:06 AM
27

So true, two divorces over 25 years and both abusive, one a sociopath and one untreates severe ADD. Both left trails of emails, texts, actions - including threatening suicide with a loaded weapon IN HIS MOUTH with my daughter crying on the other side of the door - in what I assumed would be divorces in my favor, both times equal custody awarded. More than once (likely close to 10 between them) hauled back in into court to waste everyone's time, money and face over minor or non existant issues. M…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 07:46 PM
2

😋
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 02:23 AM
29

My ex carried a glock close to 24/7. After one particularly bad fight, he put the loaded gun in his mouth threatening suicide if I left. The implicit threat was there all the time, right at his side.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 01:00 PM
18

My marriage to an ADD man. It consisted of zero physical affection or loving words, zero thought given to the kids or myself, zero effort of any kind towards any daily household chores, work/commute of 60+hrs/wk because he couldn't task appropriately, and me having to plan and do every single thing or it didn't get done. Near suicidal at the end. I divorced him after that, no one could understand how I could leave such a, "great man". Living alone in a marriage with an adult child is no joke!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 12:57 PM
7

Wow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 09:23 PM
24

Such an amazing book, helped me through a divorce and then a subsequent breakup with a Narc, hopefully no more LVM!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 10:20 AM
16

Mic drop
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 10:38 PM
1

And let's not forget sending me a shitty ass, hastily taken dick pic, taken in some dusty ass garage or shed. Baby mama must've been inside taking care of his child, while he was busy messaging me....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 09:59 PM
30

Same! One year dumpversary of my malignant Narc today! Blocked, deleted, no stalking, no caring, 3+ years of subservience GONE! I have also improved in most aspects of my life, and have put myself first in all aspects. I have learned over this past year I will NEVER tolerate a LVM again, EVER. Not worth my time, sanity, or financial and emotional expenditures. ~ Happily single
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 09:48 PM
5

Ugh that's a hard truth right there -
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 11:39 AM
75

I would be that cool aunt, if only someone had said to me growing up marriage isn't a goal, and isn't required. Nor is having children. Two ex husband's and 3 kids (who I love) later, that opportunity is lost forever to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 12:50 AM
33

I've (48f) never been a make up kinda girl, to me its uncomfortable, weird and fake, and the insecurity of doing it wrong or messing it up makes going without an easy decision. I work in retail so see tons of people on a daily basis, and ya know who cares? Not a single damn person!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 11:51 AM
4

I got food poisoning and vomited in the living room, and subsequently had to clean it up in my sick state because low life bf was disgusted (in MY own house, since his shitty apt was the size of a postage stamp). It's unreal what you do for these assholes who can't and/or won't help you the extremely few times you need them too. Covert Narc had me going for years before I finally ended it once and for all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 12:22 PM
13

Spot on
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 10:25 PM
4

Wasted words - they don't care. I learned that after many letter writings
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 04:54 PM
10

Wow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 05:50 PM
5

If you think it, it was
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 11:43 AM
2

This seems so self evident 🤦‍♀️
/r/seduction10/03/21 11:28 AM
11

Amazing update!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 04:28 PM
26

What the actual Hell
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 02:13 PM
24

Don't need a study for that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 03:31 PM
1

Chemicals. And maybe ovulation 😆
/r/seduction02/03/21 07:57 PM
4

No. Because we were in LOVE with them. Usually MADE to fall in love with them. Physical beauty had nothing to do with why we stayed, unlike men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 07:51 PM
44

I'll vouche for that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 06:26 PM
201

48F, divorced 4 year, never been happier because I do what tf I want, when I want!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 05:03 PM
3

☝☝☝☝☝
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 06:14 PM
3

And amazing to enjoy it IN PEACE!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 06:06 PM
28

WTF is wrong with men?! JC
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 03:42 PM
3

I almost drowned
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 12:17 AM
5

I would consider that love a great LOSS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 12:12 AM
17

I love being a distraction 🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 11:23 PM
11

Women's sexual disfunction is likely 90% poor partner choice or performance... Just ask anyone who switched it up, things work just fine now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 12:34 PM
4

Good point
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 06:32 PM
11

I've more than once been told by men that they have fake women's accounts, I assume partly because women are more friendly to comments from other women, and allows the men to anonymously communicate and surf not using their own real accounts, if indeed they even have one
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 03:57 PM
2

All about Cats wine and golden girls, men are too much damned work
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 10:33 PM
37

Me, for 15 years. Basicallt I finally had a nervous breakdown and I divorced that asshole. Best decision for my mental health ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 01:45 AM
62

I would have sent Lexi message of my own and then broke his phone. Fuck being diplomatic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 12:31 PM
80

I believed that a long time ago, he's perfect but....and that but was me doing 100% solo parenting, cleaning, dishes, laundry and hold down a job. He, meanwhile, worked 60hrs a week and then played video games and masturbated all night while I was working. Kids not put to bed, dirty dishes and wrappers after I left a sparkling kitchen, but he was a "good man" to me. Because he held down a job. Divorce after 15 years, I've never been so free in my life, not having to care and cater to a 4th child…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 03:03 PM
12

OLD proves this 1000%! Men my age (48f) could be my dad (bald, hat wearing, wrinkles and greys). Its really eye opening how old men my age look!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 12:15 PM
23

I canceled my OLD profiles across the board after chronic disappointment and got a puppy instead. My daughter and I and our other dog are so much happier this way!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 12:05 PM
2

Good for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 05:00 PM
21

All the time I wasted researching, delving, losing sleep over. And I was left empty handed anyway! If you need to Google it, its bad. Walk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 04:58 PM
6

From bad to worse 🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 10:17 PM
9

This. My Narc ex had a bm who dumped him while pregnant and eventually went to court: got FULL custody AND he lost all parental rights. He never saw his child in person. This will forever cause him pain, anxiety, anger and resentment. Poor man-child lost control of that woman and her baby and could never get over it. It tainted out entire relationship and will continue to taint all the ones after me. I can't think of a better way for him to spend the rest of his life. In misery for the way he tr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 10:27 PM
10

I've seen the commercials and had no idea, the correlating between porn hub and the uptick in this "disease" is startling. Yet one more sign to look for, curved dick ugh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 01:27 PM
6

Except its not every "attractive" girl, its every girl. That alone is a dick move, as if women you don't find attractive are somehow immune to shitty men?
/r/seduction19/12/20 11:39 AM
3

I'll (47f) offer an different perspective, he might have been complimenting you backwards. I guess I am ashamed to admit but I've done that with my super low self esteem ex, rather than a straightforward compliment it was deflected to put someone else down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 11:35 PM
16

I'm glad you're out and healing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 11:22 PM
10

OMG
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 11:01 PM
12

Remember this when he hoovers back, prepare and remember all the shitty shit he's done. He will come back, sooner, later, when you least expect it. Be ready, be strong, and block everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 09:57 PM
1

Be forwarned they're mostly alcoholic, drug binging narcissists. The artist I dated, had NOTHING. No health/car insurance, no money (he didn't claim tips so was poverty level on paper, couldn't even get a refi loan on his car from a credit union!), dealt drugs on the side, payed for everything in cash, had a million other girls messaging him at all time because (they want tattoos from him soooo bad), and lived in a shitty studio apartment in the city. He also lost custody of his child to the bab…
/r/seduction14/12/20 11:50 AM
4

Game changer that book!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 08:06 PM
17

Amen, that was my marriage. I did it all then, I do it all now, but my child and I have a way stronger bond because I'm not running on empty ALL THE TIME. Yes the stress of divorce, moving, it was all terrible at the time, but it was so worth it now!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 05:41 PM
16

Omg I was seriously the BEST thing that ever happened to him and he fucked me over anyway. GOOOD FUCKING LUCK! They're so short sighted and impulsive. I'm just glad it was me dumping him, I will forever have the upper hand, and that burns them to the core
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 10:12 PM
2

Any day now.....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 10:10 PM
10

That last line 🤯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 04:55 PM
10

Sounds like my ex Narc, who is/was this monster?! You can't belive it unless you've lived it, and she has
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 07:03 PM
20

My entire marriage was indentured servitude to a man with untreated ADD. Cooking, Cleaning, Laundry, actual job, 3 kids. Even cleaned up his cum soaked socks because he watched porn and got off BEFORE I could even get home from work, at midnight. I can't believe I fought for that. 15 years before I couldn't handle it any more. Be careful what you wish for, and what you enable to happen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 12:44 AM
3

Clueless OMG!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 12:27 AM
24

Damn
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 08:29 PM
10

I NEVER say mother to a daughter to avoid pedo’s(!) Some men will look for that! I simply say I’m a mom to a “teen” or “child”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 09:07 PM
5

My thought? You’re an asshole I set my friend up (younger, thinner, more in shape) with a dude who contacted me on a dating site - while he was hot, his interests and proclivities were more in line with her and I thought they would hit it off better. Chicks before dicks 🤟 we look out for each other
/r/seduction15/08/20 07:34 PM
14

It took 3 years on that roller coaster before I made it out - but I did! It’s been hard every day, but getting easier every day. It was my first experience with a Narc, I couldn’t believe what I was actually experiencing was real, that someone who “loves” you could be so underhandedly cruel to you. A good friend of mine (female) helped immensely as she had been with a Narc before. It’s scary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 08:07 PM
181

My Narc (narcissist) of an ex bf used to get in sly, insulting jabs all the time. They do it to keep you off balance, keep your self esteem low and have power & control over you. The fact he’s saying it repeatedly every day is probably designed to make you feel bad, every day. Dump that asshole, It’s not “going well” if he’s insulting you in a most hurtful way, every day. He’s putting you down to feel better himself. Maybe to use it against you when he eventually dumps you, because literally NO …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 12:14 PM
9

I’ve had it for a little over two weeks and feel the same, why wouldn’t a guy have a profile? They don’t have to do anything. At least half of the guys I wave to or message delete it w/o responding, the other half just half ass answer but show no real interest. Just an ego boost for them and nothing more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 12:42 PM
22

Including killing you in a car crash
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 02:12 AM
7

Been there done that many times same merry go round of a shit show. They won’t “leave you” without first severe emotional, psychological and possible physical abuse, then they’ll come back acting like nothing happened. So. Many. Times. Three years and many break ups (all my fault of course) and it’s all I could handle. They’ll lie, cheat, steal without remorse. They’ll stab you in the heart with their words and not look back. Empathy is nonexistent. NVM is Negative Value Man, they’ll destroy you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 09:54 PM
1

After 3.5 years of this shit, yes! I didn’t know he was Narc until the second discard, when my agony left me searching for answers - he is textbook covert Narc, he’ll never change, commit or be a human.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 11:35 PM
4

After 3 years on and off, this is the answer I (47f) get (The next day is the supposed clarification). Remember, narcissists don’t love anyone but themselves. Three years of taking his (47m) verbal, emotional, and psychological abuse, chronic picking apart of myself, my house and life choices, multiple painful discards, horrible name calling and accusations. Theft of personal property, using semantics and omissions to fool me and always telling me what “type” of chick he was attracted to (hint: …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 03:48 AM
3

I read many books, I didn’t self diagnose him, and he himself admitted to having it but always said “it’s not a big deal”. ADD is never a big deal to those who have it, just everyone else. I couldn’t be a parent to him and my children any longer I was about to break and getting to the point that one of us wasn’t getting out of it alive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 11:28 AM
28

My ex husband has untreated ADD and honestly that may have been your dads issue; not that it’s an excuse, after married and him untreated for 15 years it was unbearable and I left. Never had better sex in my life now @ 47
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 01:07 AM
11

You're my spirit animal
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/19 08:35 PM
1

Haha yes and had a sweet Caddy, it’s the ONLY reason I considered it!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 01:43 AM
11

I wouldn't worry too much, except to say every guy I know who dated a girl 10-15 years younger than them had the girl LEAVE THEM when they wanted a younger/more age appropriate guy. He is probably not thinking this way but chances are he wouldn't dump you, you're a status symbol and a prize, hes gonna be an old guy in no time. I'm (46f) and dated a 58 year old guy for like 2 weeks - GROSS. Even at my age the age gap is noticeable, espcially the CPAP mask and multiple prescriptions on his bedside…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 08:51 PM
1

Your spelling and grammar speak for themselves
/r/seduction30/11/19 10:51 PM
1

Yup that right think, what you want...but I am the one who knows, “bagging a chick” is high school talk and a face tattoo is a just a plain bad idea. Good luck on your future female endeavors if that’s your benchmark of success
/r/seduction30/11/19 10:38 PM
1

"Secure the bag"? Get the face tattoo and save the girl the headache
/r/seduction30/11/19 09:42 PM
3

Mic drop
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 07:59 PM
16

fucking disgusting
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 08:22 PM
5

You don't. You dump his lazy selfish ass
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 04:05 PM
3

Lol I briefly dated a grand master and he was the weirdest little guy with the biggest inferiority case, total narcissitic tool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 08:48 PM
9

I have a FWB with a guy who takes pleasing a woman as a high honor and does the job thoroughly - foreplay, amazing orgasms and cuddles after! Otherwise he can't be relied on for much, but once or twice a week is all you need if it's being done right! I would have him as a bf in an instant but hes not into having a proper relationship. FWB is beneficial IF you get something out of it, if you don't you're being used. I am busy and have a job and children, it's all I need/want right now. Mutually b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/19 05:53 PM
2

Always have few back ups in orbit, bring them in closer as needed. I did the same thing, too busy guy didn't want to hang out, went out with guy #2, guy #1 got super pissed (even though HE cancelled on ME). Too bad so sad don't sit home and be bored or sad when you could go out an have fun. Gut #2 platonic date only but a good boost to the self esteem and brought guy #1 back into a close orbit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/19 04:30 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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