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eablokker Archive

View 3 posts and 483 comments by eablokker on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

There's a book called "Letting Go" by David Hawkins. Former PUA Julian from RSD teaches the technique on his Youtube channel. I really like Sam Miller though she mainly teaches it for treating chronic mind-body illness. But she goes really deep on the psychology of it.
/r/seduction25/07/26 05:26 PM
29

The bad feeling in your chest is an important clue. It means you have a repressed emotion there. You can’t use success in dating as a way to suppress your bad feelings. It never works. The bad feeling will always return, and the risk of it coming back will make you behave in a needy way. You have to release the bad feeling. What emotion is there in your chest? Don’t suppress it. Don’t interrupt it. Let it come out. Allow it to complete itself. Try to feel it as intensely as you can. It takes jus…
/r/seduction24/07/26 11:30 PM
1

One more thing. It depends how bad of an impression you made on her. If you were just average boring on the date, you can turn that around. But if you were showing tons of red flags and giving serial killer vibes, you can't turn that around.
/r/seduction20/07/26 07:04 AM
5

Depends how long you’ve known each other when she said that. The longer it’s been the harder it is to turn around, because you’ve created too much negative impression on her. If it’s a first date, yeah you can turn that shit around. You’ve barely even begun to know each other. It’s much easier to create a different impression going forward. But if there was no spark because of total lack of skill, then no you’re not turning it around right away. You don’t know how yet. Easiest is brand new peopl…
/r/seduction20/07/26 06:08 AM
3

I need to know more. Why should you have moved on?
/r/seduction20/07/26 06:00 AM
3

One obvious example could be wearing a wedding ring or engagement ring. But the more practical thing is to mention it in conversation. As an example, complain that "Too many girls keep texting me all the time. It's so annoying. Why do they do that?" or a story like "Some girl I barely know keeps coming over and knocking at my door. What does she want from me?" It can even be a one-off comment, like look at your phone and make an out loud comment about it. Or complain that all the girls in the gy…
/r/seduction17/07/26 09:22 PM
4

By recognizing that their bitchiness is not about you, it's about their current mood caused by how life and other people have been treating them before you. When you learn how to change their mood around, you become the antidote to that. You become her favorite thing in the world. When she lights up just for you and nobody else, that's how you know it's genuine and real. If women were faking being in a good mood all the time (such as in environments where they are paid to do so), you would never…
/r/seduction16/07/26 07:14 PM
0

Good distinction. That makes sense. Thanks.
/r/seduction13/07/26 11:35 PM
3

Great example of the power of emotions. I feel like boiling it down to just adventure and acceptance is a bit reductive though. Every emotion has its role to play. I think of it in terms of each emotion unlocks its own unique set of behaviors and thoughts. I ask myself "How does someone tend to behave when they feel X emotion?" Doing a threesome absolutely requires adventure, no doubt. And its a great reminder, I always forget about bringing adventure into the mix. But other important emotions a…
/r/seduction13/07/26 06:09 PM
2

Obviously no, that's not how seduction works, because there was no seduction. They parted ways and never exchanged contact info. That's not even attraction either, because attraction would mean they would feel compelled to stop and talk instead of walking on by. All you had there was a mild interest. Enough interest to smile and look, but not enough to stop. You need more than just interest for attraction, and you need more than just attraction for seduction.
/r/seduction12/07/26 05:11 AM
1

Which methods did you find the most useful for you?
/r/seduction11/07/26 08:00 PM
5

Who was the right guy?
/r/seduction11/07/26 06:45 PM
2

Haven’t you ever wanted to do something, you know you want to do it, but then you just don’t do it? Explain to me that. The answer to that is the answer to why women flake.
/r/seduction11/07/26 06:12 PM
1

This is the truth
/r/seduction08/07/26 05:33 PM
7

The mistake is thinking that the way someone behaves is just they way they are. Or worse, that it means something about you as a person. It doesn't. It's just a reflection of their current mood, their emotional state. You're right, their mood cannot be changed by logical argument. But there are many ways that you can change it. Most people don't know how so they end up thinking its impossible. The place to start is learning how to change your own mood. Because your mood will infect them. And the…
/r/seduction08/07/26 05:31 PM
4

9's and 10's get simped on a lot, constantly told how pretty they are. Or they get hit on in a way where it's obvious that the guy only likes her for her looks. This gives her a big ego, but is also frustrating for her to not be able to find a guy who genuinely likes her for her. Don't simp. Make it clear that her looks are not that special for you. This was the original purpose of the "neg," a mild insult that shows you're not that impressed by her. Use with caution. Another classic technique i…
/r/seduction06/07/26 06:28 AM
2

That’s like asking what do people mean when they say they want to buy a car that is a good value. What someone considers a good value is going to be a little different for everyone. When a woman says that, ask HER what she means by that, and don’t assume that applies to all women. And don’t assume that all women want a masculine man. Don’t try to do one-size-fits-all. Personalize your approach to each woman to meet their individual needs.To do that you have to get to know what they like as an in…
/r/seduction06/07/26 05:47 AM
3

Eh, depends on the conversation. And depends what you mean by asking out, and how you ask out. Generally just asking “can I get your number” just out of the blue with no context is not the best way.
/r/seduction05/07/26 08:44 AM
4

I take it to mean that she's not usually attracted to most men, so the fact that she's even attracted to anyone at all right now makes you the lucky one. And I'm not usually attracted to most women, so that makes her lucky too. We're both lucky.
/r/seduction05/07/26 12:09 AM
3

Ok, "What I learned about OUTER GAME by getting rejected by 1000 women in 1 year." Fixed it for you. You're just arguing against your own false assumptions. You thought the title was supposed to mean inner game when it wasn't. > if you talk to her like a stranger, she's going to treat you like a stranger This entire structure is a marketing ploy to seed insecurity into the reader ... the way you phrase it actually amplifies people's approach anxiety How is that amplifying insecurity and approach…
/r/seduction04/07/26 11:56 PM
1

It sounds like someone who has avoidant attachment style. Also sounds like someone who hasn’t fully grieved their past relationship wounds. I might inquire as to why she feels afraid, what happened in her past to make her feel this way? I would let her know that it’s ok to feel upset about what happened in her past relationships so that hopefully she lets out her past hurts instead of bottling it up. She’s afraid of how she will feel if she’s hurt again, but the best way to stop being afraid of …
/r/seduction03/07/26 04:06 PM
31

It is well known. Girls are not attracted to equal status. They are attracted to higher status. Got to communicate higher status with more than just your looks.
/r/seduction29/06/26 10:59 PM
1

Attraction is an emotional state. It's a combination of emotions like desire, safety, connection, excitement. Anything that happens to trigger these emotions, we call that "attractive". These emotional states literally shape our behavior and thoughts by routing our neuronal impulses through these emotional neural networks. For example if an impulse goes through the fear network, you're going to get a very different behavioral output than if it routed through the love network. We can't choose to …
/r/seduction28/06/26 08:00 PM
1

When guys simp on them constantly they get big egos. You gotta jailbreak them out of their ego self, get them back down to earth. Got to hold the frame that you are the prize, not them. And their beauty is nothing special, their personality and character is the true measure of their worth. “Other than your looks, what would you say are your most attractive qualities?” as an example.
/r/seduction25/06/26 09:05 PM
25

For me its not the fear before the rejection, it's the emotional overreaction after the rejection that is the problem. I'm pretty sure I have rejection sensitive dysphoria. It feels like you're dying and the world is collapsing in on you. Very catastrophic. I think it's called disassociating. (Edit: it's called derealization) I imagine rejection would be easy if that never happened. I fear what my nervous system will do to me after the rejection. I try to just avoid rejection if at all possible,…
/r/seduction18/06/26 11:13 PM
1

When it comes to the conversation, the most important thing to be aware of is "how am I making her feel?". Because how she feels, what mood she's in, determines her behavior. A lot of it has to do with the topic of conversation. I'll give you an example. I saw a recent in-field video of a guy who was doing ok at first, and then he asked "What is the most awkward conversation you've ever had with a random person in public?" and soon after that the girl totally changed her demeanor and tried to en…
/r/seduction14/06/26 08:31 PM
4

Love that distinction. Equanimity is a great word for it. I call it emotionally integrated. You have emotions, and you are not bothered by them. Indifferent sounds more like you just don’t feel anything, which is literally impossible and can only be faked.
/r/seduction09/06/26 02:43 AM
1

“Common knowledge in our field”?? Wtf? No it’s not. Where did you get that? Common knowledge is the 3 second rule. You approach within 3 seconds of seeing her. You don’t wait for signals. The only time you’re looking for signals is AFTER approaching, during the interaction. And these signals are known as IOI’s, indicators of interest. And guys correct me if I’m wrong but you want like 3 or more IOIs before moving on to qualifying her then signaling your attraction to her. Because before the appr…
/r/seduction08/06/26 04:13 AM
1

How did you determine that your depression is caused by not having a girlfriend? Were you depressed and then got a girlfriend and the depression went away, and then it came back again after you broke up? Was it a clear pattern like that? Or are you jumping to conclusions and predicting that the depression would go away if you had a girlfriend based on wishful thinking? Also is it caused literally by not having a girlfriend, or is it other circumstances around not having a girlfriend, like being …
/r/seduction06/06/26 10:16 PM
4

That is an excellent point. You're right. People should ask for more information, but usually they don't, I don't know why. But asking is a two-way street. Do you ask her for more information before deciding, or are you jumping to a "yes" based on no information other than her looks? Because that feels to her like you don't like her for her, you only like her for her body. It's the same as when a gold digger is suddenly interested in you when she finds out you have money. It feels bad. She doesn…
/r/seduction06/06/26 10:02 PM
64

Hey do you want to watch this movie? Not gonna tell you the title of it, you can't see the cover art. I won't tell you what its about, nor the genre. I won't tell you if anybody recommends it, nor what ratings it has. It's just a completely random movie. Of course you're going to say "maybe"! You don't have enough information yet. What if it turns out to be a good movie? Then you'd wished you'd have watched it. Watch if it turns out to be a terrible movie? Then it would have been a waste of your…
/r/seduction06/06/26 05:55 AM
1

I’m not asking for me. 😆 I already know how, at least one way. OP didn’t say if they did it through therapy or what. And which type of therapy specifically. I ask for the benefit of us all and comparing what specifically worked for them vs other methods or therapies. OP never answered.
/r/seduction05/06/26 03:40 PM
2

Ohh I should have known, the OP never responds 🤣
/r/seduction04/06/26 01:35 AM
2

Yeah it’s super effective. Glad you could get some relief. I’ve had the same thoughts and feelings before.
/r/seduction03/06/26 05:40 PM
2

Short answer: you have depression. Get Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It is the most studied and one of the most effective treatments for depression. Long answer: Your thoughts are the result of your emotional state. Emotions influence thoughts, and thoughts influence emotions. They form a recursive loop. That means there are two places we can intervene: we can intervene in the thoughts, and we can intervene in the emotions. For maximal effect we can intervene in both. First we need to identify w…
/r/seduction02/06/26 11:51 PM
7

BUT when I began acknowledging and releasing the insecurities underneath all that, you get AURA. You left out the most important part. HOW did you acknowledge and release the insecurities?
/r/seduction31/05/26 10:44 PM
1

I mean that's the difference between getting interest immediately before speaking a word, and getting interest 10 minutes later after having a short conversation. 10 minutes is too slow for you? You can't wait that long? It's gotta be interest right now or nothing huh? How is she supposed to decide if she likes you without knowing anything about you?
/r/seduction30/05/26 05:38 AM
2

Totally agree about the lifemaxxing advice, it’s totally useless, and feeds into the not good enough yet mentality. It’s not useful for anyone from any culture. You shouldn’t be getting yourself a great life so that women will want you. How you live your life is for your own satisfaction, not to please or impress others. We should always be talking about universal human principles of psychology and mating behavior. The things that all humans from all cultures share.
/r/seduction29/05/26 05:44 AM
1

Overthinking is the direct result of repressed emotions. It's the same reason why some learn from failure and others stay stuck. Those who stay stuck suppress their emotions, so the emotional learning never integrates into their nervous system. Those who allow themselves to feel their emotions, such as rejection, failure, fear, and nervousness, have the learning integrated into their nervous system, and the emotional energy is released. When you have repressed emotions, the emotional energy is s…
/r/seduction27/05/26 11:13 PM
2

Definitely take a break. You need some time to reflect. In my opinion, people who are so obsessed on trying to fix themselves are really just running from their own feelings. They're looking for something external to make them feel good enough. And the results you're getting are not fixing those bad feelings about yourself. Even if you were getting incredible results, I guarantee you, you would still have bad feelings about yourself. Because look at the success you've had already. You say you ha…
/r/seduction27/05/26 06:19 AM
1

These are all oversimplifications and generalizations. Flirting is just one part of game. There's more to it than just flirting. Confidence helps with game but it's not the sum total of game. Yes when you apply confidence you get game, but it is possible to practice game without confidence. Confidence is often an element of attraction but it's not the only one. Confidence is an emotional state of assurance, trusting, and free of doubt. Attraction often includes feeling trust, but it can also inc…
/r/seduction17/05/26 10:53 PM
14

Pretending to be indifferent will never be the most truly indifferent response, because if you were truly indifferent you wouldn't need to pretend. Indifferent would be not needing to "give them zero ego validation". The truth is that you felt irritated and condescended. You're trying to deal with those feelings by coming up with a comeback that makes it look like you didn't feel that way. That is not indifference. In my opinion, indifference would be to let her know exactly how it made you feel…
/r/seduction17/05/26 09:02 PM
3

You ask her to remember experiences, imagine experiences, describe experiences and feelings to her. You’re eliciting emotional states in her through your questions, descriptions, stories, jokes, poems, songs, demonstrations. Most women are stimulated in this way.
/r/seduction15/05/26 05:10 PM
2

Ok thats several different questions so I'm going to focus on the title. The way you stop feeling an emotion is pretty counterintuitive -- you stop it by allowing yourself to feel it. Emotions are processes that will complete themselves and go away, on their own, if you just let them. Whenever you try to stop yourself from feeling something, it interrupts its natural process, so it never gets completed. And its understandable, feeling bitter and resentful feels bad so you don't want to feel it. …
/r/seduction12/05/26 07:18 PM
2

Or she's into polite, charming dudes with a sense of humor, who have the balls to talk to her. Most women are like that. They don't care about looks as much as men do. She is just indifferent to looks. I have a lot of tips but here's an important one. Ask them this question: "Other than your looks, what would you say are your most attractive qualities?" Edit: When she responds, validate her answers. Say something like "Oh I noticed that you are X Y and Z, I really like that about you." "I love g…
/r/seduction07/05/26 09:19 PM
2

See I told you that you don’t have to wait for an invitation! Great job! Impressed really. You did the right thing by telling her when you are free and asking if she wants to join you for something you’re already doing, rather than the other way around. Damn good for the first try. Beginners luck I say.
/r/seduction07/05/26 08:32 PM
3

"Deciding" and "wanting" are pretty irrelevant concepts here, because those are conscious mind activities. They have little to do with actual actions, which are governed by emotions, mood, and unconscious processes. Whether she decides that she wants you or not has little bearing on whether she will actually do it or not. Now, how long does it take for a woman to get turned on enough for it? The human nervous system is not a linear machine. You can't measure how long the unconscious takes to pro…
/r/seduction06/05/26 10:11 PM
1

How are you acting like the expert on this? LOL. What are your results? Ask someone who has done thousands of approaches. They did not wait for the girl to make the first eye contact and smile. Who told you this? You found two comments. Wow that's overwhelming evidence. Most professional PUAs and dating coaches use the 3-second rule. That means approach within 3 seconds of seeing her. That means not waiting for an invitation, you just go.
/r/seduction06/05/26 01:49 AM
2

It's not a rule for success in this community. Yes but sometimes someone may smile at you and not want you to approach, and sometimes they won't smile but still want you to approach. There is no hard rule about this. And sometimes they don't want you to approach, but when you do they change their mind and are glad you did. And sometimes they want you to approach, and when you do they change their mind and wish you hadn't. Sometimes they don't have an opinion either way, neither want you to nor d…
/r/seduction06/05/26 12:59 AM
4

find a indication where a women wants you to approach them. That is not a rule. Where the fuck did you get that from? If I see these invitations, I would be much more comfortable talking to them (naturally, I just would). How do you know you would if its never happened before? You just made that up. Lots of people still don't when they see indicators of interest. should I just go say hi anyway? Yes.
/r/seduction06/05/26 12:40 AM
1

It's not "bad" but its very unlikely to work. You have to get them in the mood somehow. That question does nothing to get them in the mood, if anything it kills the mood. Because that's a logical mind question. Flirting engages the emotional mind. Flirting isn't the only way to do that. Anything that engages her emotional mind can have the same effect. Stories, poetry, music, jokes and humor. But you have to know how to use those mediums to evoke the emotional states you're going for. So you're …
/r/seduction04/05/26 01:12 AM
16

They’re not meant to be said seriously. It’s like pretend. Tongue in cheek. Like you’re making fun of narcissistic people by pretending to be them and you’re letting her in on the joke. The actual narcissists will take offense.
/r/seduction27/04/26 07:03 PM
1

My therapist taught me this technique years ago and it works amazingly well. First get yourself into a relaxed state. Do some meditation or self hypnosis, listen to a relaxation tape, do breathing exercises, whatever you need to do. While in the relaxed state, write down a list of all the worst case scenarios that can happen if you approach someone. You don't have to describe them, just list them briefly. For each one you write down, picture it happening in your mind. Picture the false SA. Now a…
/r/seduction24/04/26 05:19 PM
2

Depends on how you say it. It's fine if you're saying it to express how you feel and not asking for something, like "I feel like I want to see you again". Like its fine if you don't, but you would like to. Not ok if you're saying it to try to get her to see you again, like "Please please please see me again. I need you to see me again."
/r/seduction22/04/26 12:29 AM
1

The purpose is to make her feel a specific set of emotions that will drive her behavior towards you favorably. It's mostly feeling good, but sometimes not. Sometimes you need to make them feel jealousy, and that doesn't feel good. But a jealous person will be driven to try to get you, as long as there are other good feelings there too. The ultimate goal really is good feelings, because after all, why do you want to seduce someone? Because you want to feel good! You want the good feelings that co…
/r/seduction18/04/26 03:17 AM
3

See guys, this demonstrates the power of making people feel emotions. You can literally fall in love with a fucking username on a screen. If you can do that, you can get a girl to fall in love with your ugly ass. To answer your question, just ask her about times when she felt safe meeting someone in person, excited to meet someone in person, feeling adventurous to meet someone in person, times when she fell madly in love with someone, etc. Whatever emotions would be useful in this situation. Bri…
/r/seduction17/04/26 06:39 PM
6

Agreed with half of that, but the other half is way off. In a healthy relationship there must be a moderate amount of conflict. If you're leaving at the first sign of conflict, that's just conflict avoidance. It's how you resolve the conflicts that moves the relationship forward. The goal of a relationship is not to have no conflicts ever. A perfect no-conflict relationship is a dead relationship, because it means the partners are avoiding dealing with the conflict and just leaving when it gets …
/r/seduction07/04/26 08:18 AM
1

Its definitely more about energy at the core. But well-crafted lines can bring about the right energy if its not already there. Likewise, you could have the right energy, but say the wrong thing and kill the vibe. So, it's kind of both. Thoughts and emotions are in a mutually causal loop. Emotions influence thoughts, and thoughts influence emotions. What you say influences the vibe, and the vibe influences what you say. It's not an either or situation.
/r/seduction02/04/26 09:23 AM
6

If this kind of talk is making you feel uncomfortable in the workplace, you're right to feel uncomfortable. It kind of sounds like these guys are trying to fuck with you. That's bordering on harassment. It's kind of hard to tell just from what they said whether it's in a friendly way or an antagonistic way. Judging by how it made you feel, I'd say probably not so friendly. Don't blame yourself for it by saying you have no self esteem. If that's the case, deal with that separately. These are two …
/r/seduction18/03/26 04:40 AM
1

Your thoughts about the rich guys she dated before are coming up because you have a suppressed emotion of feeling inadequate, and that emotion is leaking out and taking the form of these thoughts. It’s ok to feel inadequate sometimes, it’s normal. I’m not going to sit here and tell you that you are good enough, I’m just gonna say that just because you feel not good enough doesn’t mean it’s true. It’s just a normal feeling to have sometimes. Allow it to be there and be felt without being fooled b…
/r/seduction14/03/26 02:12 AM
3

Allowing myself to feel all of my fears fully instead resisting them, so their emotional energy can be completed and let go of.
/r/seduction02/03/26 02:06 AM
3

OP was saying right after you say "what's your name?", "where are you from?", "what do you do?" then it goes dead. You're right, I didn't explain well, I mean after you've already established some emotional connection, you don't necessarily have to think about what to say next. But in that moment when there is still no emotional connection, that's when you have to ask questions, tell stories, tell jokes, etc. and have something prepared. But also, in that moment if you can stay in a fun and frie…
/r/seduction15/02/26 09:06 PM
11

Filling up silence with talking is not the goal. The conversation ends because you've created zero emotional states in her, and her boring responses have created zero emotional states in you. When you or her are in emotional states that are conducive to talking, you will talk naturally without having to force it. And it won't matter what you are talking about. You can talk about almost nothing and just riff off each other. This is called banter. Or don't talk at all and just make faces at each o…
/r/seduction15/02/26 08:19 PM
2

Any specific techniques you've tried? Not just vaguely being more social or vaguely improving yourself. How specifically are you improving your inner game? How specifically are you being more social? Which verbal techniques are you using? Are you making approaches? Women are not interested in strange men by default. That's the default setting. For like 90% of men. It's not just you. That's a good thing, because it means once you do have her interest, she will be loyal to you. She won't be intere…
/r/seduction13/02/26 07:57 PM
3

When a rejection hits you hard like this, its more likely that it's a re-triggering of childhood rejections rather than from this rejection itself. This experience is triggering those repressed emotions from the past to bubble up to the surface. These emotions got stuck in your nervous system because you repressed them, and now they have to keep coming up once in a while, screaming louder and louder to get your attention. The good news is, this experience is a perfect opportunity for you to stop…
/r/seduction09/02/26 10:22 PM
2

If they don’t know you yet, then they’re not really rejecting you, they’re just responding to their pre-existing emotional associations. They’re rejecting all of the strange men from their past who made them feel bad. If you get the chance to give them a different emotional experience, they cannot help but to start treating you better. Their first response is not written in stone. It’s also important to let yourself feel the sting. Don’t be doing mental gymnastics to try to make the sting hurt l…
/r/seduction09/02/26 04:09 PM
1

It might look like a curse from the outside, but once you’re free, you realize that the real curse was not being aware. But you do have to go through the hell of your own emotions for a short time in order to get there.
/r/seduction08/02/26 01:36 AM
3

Sure
/r/seduction07/02/26 04:58 PM
36

Behind any addiction is the attempt to silence and distract from any uncomfortable feelings we feel on a regular basis. Drugs, social media addiction, and sex are no different in that regard. What are we trying not to feel? Unworthiness, inadequacy, loneliness, rejection, unloved, sadness, etc. All the horrible experiences from childhood that it wasn’t safe to feel. Attention and validation from women can silence these horrible feelings temporarily, and then soon enough we need more. If you were…
/r/seduction07/02/26 04:50 PM
3

Wow you’re so genuine with all your ‘em-dashes and conspicuous name-dropping of the AI you used. You might have a good message here, but you did it in literally the fakest way possible which seriously undercuts your message. Get the f out of here.
/r/seduction05/02/26 02:00 AM
2

It’s been shown in studies that people who get higher levels of external validation exhibit more asshole behavior. A guy getting success with women is getting a lot of external validation. His self esteem is “dependent” on external circumstances. This makes his self esteem fragile because you can’t control everything outside of yourself and it can come crashing down at any time. Young guys in college are more vulnerable to this because they haven’t developed inner “independent” self-esteem. The …
/r/seduction31/01/26 05:03 PM
1

Attraction does not automatically equal a lay. It doesn't even mean they won't reject you. If you're measuring attraction by ratio of lays to rejections, you're measuring the wrong thing. Attraction is one singular emotion, one of many in a sequence along the way. There are a thousand ways to screw up even after you have attraction. As to whether attraction is guaranteed with perfect game, not if it's the same game every time. Within a population of any species, there is a genetic variance in th…
/r/seduction30/01/26 11:44 PM
1

Let me clarify, it's not base attraction that matters, its base compatibility. You can get someone to feel desire, attraction, and fall in love with you, and have them act on it, but if your personalities are fundamentally incompatible, then you're going to fight, you're not going to genuinely like each either, and you're going to be miserable. You can't fundamentally change who they are or who you are. There is no getting around that. Compatibility is the biggest obstacle. Nothing to do with at…
/r/seduction30/01/26 07:14 PM
1

Which part is false?
/r/seduction30/01/26 06:28 PM
-2

False. Attraction and desire are emotional states, that originate in the nervous system, which anyone is capable of experiencing at any time, regardless of the physical shape of their body. And like all emotional states, they can become linked through neural association with literally anything. For example a few women who have fallen in love with and gotten married to inanimate objects like the Eiffel Tower, the Berlin Wall, a garden rock, the ghost of a pirate, and a dolphin. All it takes to ev…
/r/seduction30/01/26 06:08 PM
1

It’s more about stimulating her emotions, and her mind is the doorway to the emotions. Whatever you do to stimulate her mind, it should aim to elicit an emotional state. Do not use logic, reason, trying to convince her or change her mind. Here are a few ways: Osmosis. She will tend to go into whatever state you are in. If you go in feeling playful, she will behave playfully. Go in feeling anger, she will behave angrily. Memories. Asking about memories when she felt specific emotions will cause h…
/r/seduction24/01/26 10:40 AM
3

Emotional states are contagious. Especially with women, they tend to take the man’s lead on how to feel. How do you think she is going to feel when you feel hesitant and insecure? That’s right! She is also going to feel hesitant and insecure. How does someone behave when they feel that way? Take yourself for example, how do you behave? She is going to behave in a similar way towards you. She will hesitate and feel unsure about you. The solution is to cultivate emotional states in yourself, in he…
/r/seduction11/01/26 03:15 AM
1

It doesn’t matter what they want. You think giving them what they want is going to help you? You think love is a transaction? Here I give you what you want, now give me what I want. That’s business. Give them the emotional states that will drive them to action. It’s not what they want. You don’t want to fall in love with someone, but when it happens you can’t resist it’s pull on you. That’s the power of emotions.
/r/seduction04/01/26 03:50 AM
2

Man its frustrating how every answer in here is wrong. "Just stop thinking, just stop caring, more time, more experience." All wrong. Here's the right answer. Overthinking is a very clear sign of emotional repression. Your thoughts are a reflection of your emotional state. When you have the same kinds of thoughts over and over again, it means you have a repressed emotion that is trying to come to the surface. You can't just make a feeling go away by forcing yourself to not feel it, they are a bi…
/r/seduction29/12/25 10:44 PM
1

Don't act. Express rather than impress. Seek to be known rather than seeking to be validated.
/r/seduction24/12/25 10:32 PM
2

There have been studies done on this, and it turns out there's a certain ratio of conflict vs harmony that is required for a relationship to last. If a relationship has too much conflict, that means conflicts aren't being resolved and the relationship will end. Likewise, if there is no conflict, the relationship will also end. Why when there's no conflict? Because there is no such thing as no conflict, there is always SOME conflict. It means someone is being too nice and avoiding conflict. The c…
/r/seduction17/12/25 10:31 AM
1

Let’s look at it from a biological perspective. Men are still able to produce viable sperm and have children at an older age, while women are not. This is the main reason men prefer younger women. That is when women are most fertile. Men who had a genetic preference for younger women were more likely to pass those genes to their sons. For women, there is no downside to an older man in this regard. No matter how old and wrinkly you are, as long as you can still impregnate her you’re good to go. B…
/r/seduction13/12/25 02:27 AM
3

To piggyback off this response, it could be useful to ask each individual woman what their preference is, as a hypothetical. "Suppose you meet a guy who you are super attracted to and there's an emotional connection and chemistry, would you rather him ask you for exclusivity, or have him wait for you to bring it up?" Then there's no guessing and you can give her exactly what she likes.
/r/seduction12/12/25 09:35 AM
2

Rather than waiting for her to ask why, just state why in your original question. Then she doesn't have to question why. You can make up literally any reason why. There are studies showing that people are more compliant when you give a reason why, even if it's "just because". The why is not to make her more interested, the why is just to quell her objection to answering. It can also be more effective to ask the question indirectly, like "May I ask what you're listening to?" or "I'm curious what …
/r/seduction11/12/25 02:47 AM
1

Emotions are everything when it comes to human social behavior. They drive our behavior unconsciously. When you're in a romantic relationship, you don't want to have to force your behavior and pretend you're in love with someone. You want the emotion to drive you, to the point where you just can't help yourself. There are a number of ways to make another person feel emotions. One way is for YOU to get yourself to feel an emotion first, and the emotional state will spread to him through osmosis. …
/r/seduction11/12/25 02:20 AM
1

When words and behavior are not in alignment, the behavior is always the truth. That's because body language is largely unconscious and involuntary, but verbal language is conscious and voluntary. Why would she be telling you something other than how she really feels? The ego. It's a self protection and survival mechanism, often the result of trauma. For example, lets say her heart has been broken badly in the past. She's going to want to protect her herself from going through that again by prev…
/r/seduction04/12/25 09:32 PM
1

Now it’s starting to sound like her level of interest is not as high as you think it is. From 0 to 10 what would you rate her interest level in you? What would you rate your interest in her? If yours is higher than hers, that’s an issue. Your interest should always be the same or lower than hers. Otherwise you drive her away. By not texting, you’re pretending to have a lower interest than you really have, which is why people are saying to do that. Kinda sounds like you might have anxious attachm…
/r/seduction04/12/25 06:48 PM
0

This is a very common situation where her friends and family will talk her out of it, if you don’t match the socially acceptable idea of what people think they’re supposed to want. It’s valuable to use this situation to learn how to handle it so you can handle it again in the future. What’s happening is that her ego is going with what her ego thinks it wants, rather then what her true self wants. And likewise her friends and families egos are going with what their egos want. The ego is like a fa…
/r/seduction04/12/25 05:14 PM
1

Depends on which stage of the interaction you’re in. Opener, on the date, back at your place? Gotta be more specific with your question. Also depends which school or method someone is using. You’re gonna get different answers and they can both work. There’s more than one way to game.
/r/seduction03/12/25 04:09 AM
2

The important thing to ask yourself about these questions is, what emotional state will this invoke in her, and do I want her to relate to me through the lens of that emotion? The best question you have on here is "What topic has piqued your interest recently?" What emotional state will that invoke in her? Interest. Do you want her to relate to you through the lens of feeling interest? Yes, it's a good place to start. The worst question you have on here is "What is it like being a doctor in a ro…
/r/seduction02/12/25 10:58 PM
1

This is a therapy question and the answer is the same no matter which thoughts or feelings we're dealing with. Feelings influence thoughts, and thoughts influence feelings, in a loop. When you have that feeling, those thoughts automatically pop up. When you have those thoughts, it makes you feel those feelings. That means there are 2 possible places where we can intervene: in the thoughts, and in the feelings. Let's deal with the feelings first, and it may cause you to have the thoughts less oft…
/r/seduction24/11/25 06:48 AM
3

That’s because you only have one tool in your toolbox. Most effective compared to what other tools you’ve used? That’s like saying stealing from someone’s pocket is the most effective way to get money. Yes that’s one way, but many other ways are more effective and less scummy. But if you don’t know how, then stealing from someone’s pocket seems like the best option.
/r/seduction18/11/25 12:21 AM
1

> You've heard game works. But why? I'm still waiting.
/r/seduction13/11/25 10:24 PM
7

High status depends totally on the current social context. At a concert the band is high status. At a club the bartender and DJ are high status. In a classroom the teacher is high status. In high school the seniors are high status. On social media those with millions of followers are high status. On Tinder the top 10% most good looking men in photos are high status. The one hosting the party is high status. The organizer of the meetup group is high status. You can be perceived as high status in …
/r/seduction13/11/25 01:41 AM
1

Attraction is an emotional state (or combination of states) that causes a person to move towards the object of their attraction without them consciously choosing to. “Moving towards” might look like standing near you, looking at you, continuing the conversation, touching you, being excited to see you, etc. There are many ways to trigger that emotional state in another person and it’s not all to do with working on your finances and lifestyle. Those may have a small influence incidentally. A girl …
/r/seduction04/11/25 05:20 PM
1

Yeah it is probably best not to practice in an area where your patients are likely to come from. That's your source of business, don't pollute the well. When you do practice out of town, it will be interesting to see whether you still feel fear about it or not. You may have other fearful thoughts popping into your mind. Then you will have to deal with the fear itself rather than running from the excuses. A good way to deal with fear, or any similar emotion that prevents action, is to allow yours…
/r/seduction28/10/25 08:06 PM
1

Are you saying that realistically if you were seen by a patient doing any of those things you read about like kino that it would actually ruin your career? Or, what I think is likely, is that you feel fear about doing these things, and the emotion of fear is coming to the surface as fearful thoughts, like “what if a patient sees me and it ruins my reputation?” If you weren’t a doctor, you would have the same fear but a different thought like “What if someone accuses me of SA?” Same emotion, diff…
/r/seduction28/10/25 04:02 PM
1

Yes
/r/seduction22/10/25 05:42 PM
1

“Beauty is so common these days, but what’s rare is [a great energy, positive attitude, good vibes, etc]. Other than your looks, what would you say are your most attractive qualities?”
/r/seduction05/10/25 04:18 AM
4

You have a cake to share between you and her. If you eat all the cake, there’s none left for her. If you don’t eat the cake, there’s plenty of delicious cake for her to eat. She likes when she gets to eat the cake. She doesn’t like when you eat it all and leave none for her. I know you want to eat the cake so badly. It’s ok to take little bites sometimes. But leave enough for her. Or indulge yourself but understand why she’d be mad.
/r/seduction28/09/25 10:40 PM
1

You're talking about cold approach, which is one component of game that is optional. On that subject, it's the norm to have unfavorable initial responses. That's not a reflection on you, because she doesn't know you yet. It's a reflection of her past experiences and faulty prediction of the future. Her first response is never written in stone. Game is what happens after, regardless of how you initially meet. There are so many different ways of measuring what is considered wealthy, and they are a…
/r/seduction24/09/25 10:10 PM
3

Money can have some role to play, in so far is it sparks the emotion of desire. Think of it this way, why do women wear jewelry? Pretty things spark the emotion of desire. We see the pretty jewelry, we feel desire, and that feeling of desire gets transferred onto the woman, therefore we desire the woman. Unless you're a thief who just wants to steal the jewelry. The emotion of desire can drive you to take actions to obtain the thing you desire. Same thing with money. In general people desire mon…
/r/seduction24/09/25 05:18 AM
1

There is something you can do about it. Get her to remember times when she did feel a spark, and through what Freud called "transference" the feelings get linked to you. It's not that she wants to feel a feeling and then rationally decides whether to see you again based on whether she felt something or not. It's not a rational process. It's that emotions alter your behavior unconsciously without you choosing to. She's observing her own behavior and making an accurate assessment that the reason s…
/r/seduction20/09/25 08:39 PM
2

Same here, and I also want to know. There is this guy on YouTube who is an attachment style expert and he has this video on avoidant attachment https://youtu.be/5L8wzU0oItU?si=FvBjxci8F-ILXqee I can’t vouch for his techniques but he sounds legit.
/r/seduction15/09/25 05:35 PM
1

Yes, it’s actually a technique in the mystery method where you tell her “you’ve hijacked my brain” “get out of my head” and things like that. But only at the right stage, after she is already attracted to you. It supposedly signals that you’ve emotionally bonded to her so it’s safe for her to have sex with you, thus making her more open to having sex. After getting her attraction first and building a rapport and trust of course.
/r/seduction15/09/25 05:31 PM
1

If a woman doesn't feel an emotional spark, or romantic feelings, then I guess technically you could say she felt "unattracted", meaning a lack of feeling attracted. Now if you say "she found me unattractive" that's personalizing her feelings. That's adding something to her statement that wasn't there. The only true and accurate statement is "she lacked feeling attracted". That's a statement about her feelings, not about you as a person. Now, did she find you repulsive? First we have to ask, did…
/r/seduction11/09/25 06:24 PM
2

Here's what I think is going on. You said you're not a very expressive person. If you're not expressive, that means you're likely suppressing your emotions. If you're suppressing your emotions, that means you're going to have a lot of buried emotions inside that bubble to the surface in the form of negative thoughts. That's where your thoughts about being unattractive and repulsive come from. When the date doesn't go well, it triggers some buried emotion inside of you, and the emotion leaks out …
/r/seduction11/09/25 05:21 AM
19

Definitely sounds like you’re trying to run away from your feelings about the breakup and the loss of family members, and probably more stuff before that, by drugging yourself with women and sex. As you can see for yourself, the successes you have had, the winning the improv, the makeout, the 10/10 date, have not been enough to make you feel better from your bad feelings. I hope you can see where this is going. NO amount of women and sex can EVER heal you from bad feelings. NEVER. EVER. It doesn…
/r/seduction08/09/25 04:20 AM
2

I was similar in my 20's. Severe depression after breakups and rejections. Each rejection just made the anxiety worse. Everyone said it would get easier with more rejections, how could they all be wrong? I ended up having to live my life meticulously avoiding rejection just so that I wouldn't have to go through months-long depressions. I did manage to stay out of depression and anxiety for a time, but not without a ton of effort, working out, doing therapies, yoga, meditation, visualization. I t…
/r/seduction07/09/25 04:41 AM
2

Thanks man, I appreciate it. I’m so used to people piling on, I don’t give a shit anymore. Life’s challenges are a gift because they make you stronger. You have to become an expert in neuroscience, therapy, nutrition, investing, etc just to survive and thrive. Like Edmond Dantes in the Count of Monte Cristo
/r/seduction04/09/25 10:51 PM
0

I saw your reply, before you deleted it? Anyways you roasted me good! I laughed so hard. 🤣 That was epic. Cheers.
/r/seduction04/09/25 10:22 PM
0

There is no such thing as "the average guy." To put yourself in that category is to erase all of your unique strengths and weaknesses and future potential. And to say that you're average because you're not with Olivia Dunne is to place your entire worth into someone else's hands who is not qualified to judge it. Average has to be measured on some axis of measurement, whether looks, height, fitness, income, social skill, social status. Height is basically fixed but can be slightly improved with p…
/r/seduction04/09/25 07:33 PM
1

What you’re describing are examples of the man being in love and the woman not being in love, and making up false reasons for it. If the woman was in love, she cannot simply switch it off because she’s taller or he”s not titled. If it’s not socially acceptable to be with this man, she will still see him in secret. If the man places her on a pedestal because of her status, wealth, or beauty, he will make it almost impossible for her to fall in love with him, and that would be because of his own a…
/r/seduction04/09/25 04:45 PM
5

Preferences for religion and politics are not a “league” thing, there are no levels to that. That’s just personality differences. The rest of those are her ego-driven desires, not her true self desires. The ego-driven desires are a hollow illusion. Fulfilling the ego desires only serves to grow the ego bigger. Fulfilling her true self desires does not require you to be wealthy, famous, or powerful, only knowledge and skill, and knowing how to break her free from her ego. It’s hard to do if you’r…
/r/seduction04/09/25 07:14 AM
1

This is the way.
/r/seduction03/09/25 05:39 AM
2

You really have to get practice talking to lots of girls before you can pick just one you want to go for. Given that you've had zero interaction with this girl, it is likely that once you start talking to her you're going to be massively disappointed that she's not the person who you hoped she would be. You've pinned all of your hopes on this one girl and that is not healthy. You're at the stage where you have no idea what to do to get her interested because of lack of experience and knowledge. …
/r/seduction31/08/25 07:26 PM
-3

If a girl is trying to get laid outside her relationship it means she’s likely not that happy with it and wants to secure a new guy before ditching the old one. It’s called monkey barring. Shes not going to break up with him and risk being left out in the cold if she’s not sure she has a new guy lined up and ready. Don’t assume that every relationship is a perfect one.
/r/seduction30/08/25 05:41 AM
1

You can either go for a specific emotion directly, or evoke an experience that already has emotions attached to it. For example, asking about a time when she felt incredibly attracted to someone and how that made her feel. Or asking about a time when she felt an amazing sense of connection and safety with someone. You can share your experiences and describe how they made you feel. These experiences will give her a combination of emotions, and when she thinks about it, it stirs up those emotions.…
/r/seduction29/08/25 06:36 PM
2

I do this exact thing too, but with positive emotions that I think will lead to positive behaviors towards me. And it works. I would have thought that negative emotions would lead to negative behavior. Ask her about what makes her angry and she'll express anger towards you. However, now that I think about it, if you can demonstrate that you understand her deepest fears, what she hates, her most difficult life experiences, that can create a rapport and trust and connection that is unrivaled by an…
/r/seduction28/08/25 08:12 PM
1

No you’re correct about that. The women and children mirror the man’s emotional state. The difference is in if the man is repressing his fear, causing emotional disregulation, vs if the man is emotionally regulated and is comfortable with his fear. Both have the same outcome when it comes to not triggering the rest of the family. But in the first, the man is emotionally damaging himself. In the second he is building a natural calm and emotional sturdiness, that I would argue is more attractive a…
/r/seduction28/08/25 05:33 AM
1

This is the most psychologically damaging advice I’ve seen so far. You’re advocating for emotional repression, which is the cause of autonomic nervous system disregulation. It causes more anxiety and more emotional outbursts. I can tell by the way you’re worked up about it. You’ve got a lot of shit buried inside and one day you’re gonna explode when you can’t contain it anymore, and it won’t be pretty. Don’t advise others to damage themselves the same way you’re doing to yourself.
/r/seduction28/08/25 05:08 AM
1

Anyways you should definitely talk to a therapist about this. This is exactly the kind of thing they help with. Posting in a seduction forum is probably not the right place. Not until you get emotionally stable, then you can learn how to form romantic connections with women. It's a skill you learn, not a fixed trait. I would feel hopeless too if I told myself that no woman would ever want me.
/r/seduction24/08/25 09:07 PM
1

It's not so important that you know what to call them. The important thing is to feel them. They are getting stronger each time because you are suppressing them! Each time they pop up, they are trying to come up to be released, but you're pushing them back down again. Each time they have to shout louder and louder to try to get your attention. What are you doing to suppress them? Are you distracting yourself with drugs, porn, work, video games? These emotions would go away on their own if you wo…
/r/seduction24/08/25 08:38 PM
1

That's great! See, we can get positive emotions going. Even if you can't picture it visually, you still have other ways of representing ideas to yourself on the inside, and that can make you feel things. You can internally represent the idea of a girl hugging you. Just remember, whenever you're having a negative thought, there's an uncomfortable emotion there that you're not aware of that's driving the thought. Tune in to the emotion and let yourself feel it in order to resolve it. Getting a hug…
/r/seduction24/08/25 08:06 PM
1

That's super interesting! Didn't know you had aphantasia. I actually don't know how I would deal with that. That's a question for a specialist in that area. Not really the right question for this sub. It's not that you can't imagine yourself with a hot girl, its that you literally can't imagine anything, nevermind the hot girl. Google says people with aphantasia have difficulty with emotional recall as well. So part 1 could be difficult as well. But ok, when you start to like a girl, what do you…
/r/seduction24/08/25 06:00 PM
16

Part 1: Resolving old emotions and thoughts. Your thoughts are a reflection of your emotional state. What is your emotional state when you see a hot girl? Take a moment to stop thinking and start feeling. What is the feeling? Likely something from some past experience that got stuck in your body because you never allowed yourself to feel it. Now is your time. Allow yourself to feel it, as horrible as the feeling might be. Make it a regular practice. That's how you resolve the emotions, and thus …
/r/seduction24/08/25 08:41 AM
2

When you ask, its not clear why you're asking or whether you think high or low is better, so they don't know how to answer. By asking, you're hiding behind the question and sort of forcing your own preferences upon them. I think it's better to just state your own preference and why that is your preference. Say that you're looking for long-term commitment and that's why a low number of partners is important to you. Then you can have an honest discussion about it. That's a more vulnerable and hone…
/r/seduction24/08/25 06:25 AM
2

Yes absolutely too many rejections can hurt your psyche. It did to me. But only if you're failing to process your emotions. Here's why. I followed the standard advice that the more you get rejected, the less it bothers you. But the opposite was happening. With each rejection my fear and anxiety and overall stress got worse and worse each and every time. Eventually I developed a stress-based chronic illness. (Not just from rejection, but from a whole lifetime of emotional suppression.) But here's…
/r/seduction16/08/25 04:36 AM
6

It's a metaphor about using a different strategy. When you go fishing, don't chase it, even though you want the fish, you probably won't catch it. Be smarter. Use bait and let the fish come to you. The bait in this metaphor are the things that women like to bite down on. I won't go into details, because there are way too many things to talk about here, but just change your mindset. Don't think "How can I chase?", think "How can I give them something to chase?"
/r/seduction11/08/25 08:58 AM
16

Who told you the chase is supposed to appeal to men? In my opinion it's a myth perpetuated by women to justify their behaviors of trying to make men chase. They say "men like to chase." It's like catcallers who say "women like to be catcalled." Maybe some do like it, but not me. There's a saying in this community: "You are the prize." If you are the one chasing, then who is the prize in that scenario? She is. What does it look like when you are the prize? She is chasing you. How do you get her t…
/r/seduction11/08/25 08:21 AM
1

Anger, jealousy, and envy are normal human emotions. Even if you became outgoing and made friends easily, you’d still experience them sometimes. Becoming everything you want to be won’t make them go away. Allow yourself to feel them and become friends with them. Letting them release instead of resisting them will reduce their intensity. There’s a practice called “letting go” to do this. Your social behavior has everything to do with your emotional state. When you are feeling the right combinatio…
/r/seduction11/08/25 06:11 AM
1

Let's consider some of the ways that emotions are triggered in general. Contagion: Someone else is experiencing an emotion, and due to the effect of empathy and mirror neurons you feel it too. Example: You enter a social situation feeling outgoing, confident, fun, excited, seductive, etc.. Others pick up on your energy and feel what you feel and also start to exhibit behaviors consistent with those emotions. Past Memories: You remember an experience from the past and you remember how you felt at…
/r/seduction09/08/25 09:33 AM
1

He approached them, not got approached by them
/r/seduction01/08/25 07:08 PM
2

Amen brother
/r/seduction30/07/25 05:06 AM
1

It is the result of your experiences with women and the painful emotions they have caused. You have suppressed these emotions and they are coming out as negative thoughts and feelings about women. When the ego doesn’t want to feel an emotion, it finds something external to blame for it, as a mechanism to protect yourself and maintain your self image. The only way is to allow yourself to feel all the painful emotions that you never allowed yourself to feel, so that they can be released from your …
/r/seduction22/07/25 05:10 PM
1

Dude, you talk about authenticity, and then you say don’t feel fear, don’t feel not enough, be confident, don’t take rejection personally, maintain a happy vibe, don’t be empty inside, don’t have things missing in your life. So, be authentic, but not TOO authentic. You know, the right kind of authentic. Feel the right emotions, don’t feel the wrong ones. That’s the way to authenticity! Bro, WTF are you talking about?
/r/seduction20/07/25 06:34 AM
7

Qualifying and compliance are not appealing to the logical brain, they are still emotional brain. You’re correct about your techniques but wrong about the reasons. You’re right that attraction is not enough, because it’s only ONE emotion. Rather, attraction is more of a body sensation than an emotion. What we need is a SYMPHONY of emotions. Thoughts like “he’s a stranger” come from the emotional brain. The thought is an expression of which emotion? Could be discomfort, fear, disconnection, cauti…
/r/seduction19/07/25 12:11 AM
3

Entire books have been written about that last paragraph. Ok an example of not showing interest or disinterest is starting a conversation with her friends instead of her, "negging" her, which would be like a subtle insult or playfully teasing her, or just starting a neutral conversation with her as if she's just any other average person that you're not interested in. Then during the interaction you can display qualities that women generally value in a man. These are known as DHV's or Displays of…
/r/seduction09/07/25 08:41 AM
1

People usually show interest when they believe they have something to gain from the other person. You wouldn't show interest to a girl you find unattractive, because what is there to gain from her? When you show a lot of interest, it says you have much to gain from them, and not much for them to gain from you. Think of it from her perspective: "He's showing interest, he wants something from me, I stand to lose something while he gains something. What do I have to gain from him?" When you show le…
/r/seduction09/07/25 05:02 AM
1

There is some truth but its not the whole picture. Some women have more testosterone than others and they are the ones who are more likely to pursue men, have casual sex, and have multiple partners, but it also makes them more likely to cheat. Women with lower testosterone may not have that inherent drive to pursue all on their own, but they will have that drive more depending on if they are menstruating or if they've been given an emotional experience that awakens that drive within them. Men's …
/r/seduction08/07/25 08:51 PM
1

I would want to ask for more details, like: "Do you mean you've never done it before? Or you have done it before but it was a bad experience and you'd rather not do it again? Or did someone tell you not to and you're following their rules? Are you afraid of what might happen if you did do that? Tell me the story behind how you came to this conclusion." Seek clarification and understanding rather than jumping to your own conclusions.
/r/seduction26/06/25 07:01 PM
3

A spark is when you induce an emotional state, either in yourself, or her, or both, that naturally causes pro-dating behavior. Women are usually emotionally reactive, they’re like emotional mirrors, they’re just reflecting your emotional state back onto you, or whichever emotions you made her feel during your interaction. It’s not that she wants to feel a spark just for the sake of feeling something. She wants to naturally exhibit the behaviors associated with the spark. Without feeling the emot…
/r/seduction26/06/25 05:23 PM
7

Only if you plan on wearing said hat while having sex.
/r/seduction25/06/25 04:54 AM
0

That’s girl code for “I don’t have a fucking clue what I’m doing.” That’s okay, as long as you’re the one who knows what you’re doing then you’ll be good.
/r/seduction22/06/25 08:59 PM
2

The thing that makes it hard is a lot of hot girls can be pretty boring and just like normal girls but with shit personalities who you don’t genuinely vibe with. So you end up rather spending your time with less hot girls who you do genuinely vibe with who make you laugh and are more enjoyable to be around. Hmm, it’s the same thing from a woman’s perspective too. Rather than being with the hottest guy, she’d rather be with the guy who’s just enjoyable and fun to be around.
/r/seduction08/06/25 02:59 PM
2

So false. The ones who rejected me are the only ones I think about. I can’t remember any of the ones I didn’t approach, they never cross my mind. Are you being serious? This sounds like a fantasy of how you think things ought to be. Is your brain built differently to mine?
/r/seduction23/05/25 04:44 PM
2

Did you ever think that the girls who are taken, are taken because they are good at being friendly, talkative, and flirtatious, and the girls who are single, are single because they are not good at it? Or the single ones are the most picky, anxious, avoidant, have bad attitudes, and thats why they're single? Maybe it has nothing to do with you. Do you have any examples of women who flipped dispositions once they became taken, or became single?
/r/seduction21/05/25 09:50 PM
2

No, I don't think you quite got it. :) “Did ya feel like choosing A was the right move?” is more asking them to make a judgement about themselves, if what they did was right or wrong. Not a good move. And I don't see any specific emotion that would bring up other than self-judgement. You don't want that. You don't want them to start judging themselves every time they see you. Opinion questions can be good though. "What's your opinion on X?" "How do you feel about Y?" The questions I suggested ar…
/r/seduction19/05/25 04:48 AM
6

This reveals a core truth about women. They just act on their emotions. They don't think logically about what they are going to do, especially socially. If you made her feel bored, then she's going to do what someone feeling the emotion of boredom is going to do, seek out more stimulation somewhere else. If you make her feel attraction, then she's going to do what someone feeling attraction is going to do, act out her feelings on you. Her behavior towards you is a direct result of what emotions …
/r/seduction19/05/25 04:28 AM
2

Maybe I’m weird but this doesn’t match my experience at all. For me, rejections still hurt many years on. But the chances I didn’t take, I don’t even think about them and I don’t feel anything at all. The idea that rejection hurts less just seems so fake, and like a nice lie that you tell yourself to try to get motivated. It’s like if I don’t take a chance, then I can go on believing that I’m a worthwhile person, but if I take a chance and get rejected, then that belief is shattered for a good l…
/r/seduction24/04/25 02:50 PM
1

Cold just means a stranger, someone who has never met you before and has never heard of you. Usually it means not waiting for any signals from her and approaching instantly, not making any calculations if she will be receptive beforehand. You find out during the approach, not before. With advanced techniques it is possible to greatly increase her attraction to you beyond her initial attraction even if she is already in a relationship or not looking for one. With poor technique you can kill her a…
/r/seduction12/04/25 04:09 AM
7

There’s just one problem, nobody who has $47 million would keep it in a savings account at a bank lol. So dumb. It would be in a brokerage account in a variety of assets. Savings account is a good way to lose it to inflation. I would expect to see a breakdown of assets in stocks, bonds, real estate, precious metals, etc. with like a pie chart showing asset allocation. Also the logo is terrible. You should give users the option to choose from a variety of logos, and maybe even color schemes. The …
/r/seduction10/04/25 03:12 AM
4

Because western culture has placed women so far up on a pedestal that how dare you even speak to them! The only right thing to do is kneel before them and bow as if they are royalty. Seriously though, the ones who complain about being approached are just the most vocal about it. There are just as many women who complain about NOT being approached. It's just personal preference I guess. If anything is wrong, it's making your personal preference a rule that everyone else must follow. No, approachi…
/r/seduction07/04/25 11:03 PM
1

My go-to is to ask about something they really love to do, or their career, and ask "What is it about X that you find most fulfilling?" Listen to their answer for words or values that they emphasize, and then repeat those words back to them in a sentence. This is the classic values elicitation. You can replace X with whatever you want to get their values on, like a hobby, career, in a relationship, or life in general. This creates a sense that you know her on a deeper level, and creates bonding …
/r/seduction02/04/25 10:03 PM
19

That’s a great question, because it’ll get them into a state of feeling spontaneous, and that’s exactly what you want for a random encounter with a stranger
/r/seduction02/04/25 05:05 PM
0

An ugly guy can get girls by compensating with good social skills. A guy with bad social skills can get girls by compensating by being good looking. You have both going against you. The good news is that both of these are changeable. You are not fat forever. You don't have a bad personality forever. All it takes is learning new skills and new habits and practicing them. If you want to stay fat, then you have got to make radical improvements to your social skills. It is totally doable, but probab…
/r/seduction26/03/25 11:57 PM
10

That's because you're thinking like a man. You're primarily attracted by looks so you assume women are too, but they're not. Looks are a factor but they're not #1. Every woman I've ever asked has said the primary factor is emotions, how she feels about the man, or the "vibe" of the interaction. Looks don't drive human behavior, emotions do. And even when you're attracted by looks, its because of the feelings that the looks made you feel, not the looks itself. Looks are just one of many of ways t…
/r/seduction16/03/25 10:59 PM
1

Most actual rich people do not wear those brands. The vast majority of people who wear those brands are those who can barely afford them or going into debt to buy them. It's advantageous for a poor person to rich signal, and conversely it's advantageous for a rich person to signal not being rich. Nowhere in any advice here does it say to wear the same expensive brand names as everyone else. In regards to style advice, it's usually well-fitted clothing that displays no brand names. The fit, mater…
/r/seduction07/02/25 09:22 PM
3

Sounds like you're doing pretty well at the approach and getting into the conversation. Good job so far. The key thing to keep in mind is that people tend to behave in accordance with their emotional state. If he is feeling unsure, bored, unsafe, stressed, pressured, uncomfortable, etc. then he will behave that way. He's not likely to ask for your number or call you if he's feeling that way. Emotional states tend to get linked socially. So if you're a stranger to him, he's got zero emotional sta…
/r/seduction02/02/25 11:58 PM
10

It would help if you gave reasons why it’s backwards advice rather than citing your qualifications.
/r/seduction26/01/25 08:22 PM
1

Misogyny means hating women, and chauvinism means excessive support for one's own group, meaning you believe males are superior to females because you are male. Women can be chauvinist too, women who believe women are superior to men. Hating an entire group based on their gender is never right or justified. It's easy to conflate dominance with misogyny and chauvinism. Women are often attracted to dominance. It is preferable to be dominant without hating women or believing that you are superior b…
/r/seduction21/01/25 10:24 AM
1

Yeah, pretty much. Give her one or two more chances to find out if she is truly not interested, or whether she just messed up the first time. Most women don't know what to say or how to act when they are flirted with, because it comes so unexpectedly and throws them off guard. There's a saying "never take her first response as written in stone." It was just her instinctual or habitual response, not the real her. Give her a second chance to formulate a more conscious response. However don't expec…
/r/seduction04/01/25 06:20 AM
1

It takes a perspective shift. Instead having the mentality that you want something from her, that she has everything and you have nothing, you have to recognize, or at least take the position that you have what she needs even if she doesn't know it yet. She's a dumb girl who doesn't know shit, and you're giving her the courtesy of giving her a second chance with you. Also you have to stop jumping to conclusion about what a no means. If you jump to the conclusion that she thinks you're ugly, and …
/r/seduction02/01/25 07:50 PM
1

Sort of but that’s not really the point. Your opponent’s self interest is to score as many points as possible, and they can only do that if they play cooperatively with you. Likewise, you have to play cooperatively with them, and if you don’t, then they have to hit you back for every time you hit them, reducing both your scores. Also people don’t always act in their own self interest, they act in what they THINK is their self interest which is often not. Your opponent may think it’s in their sel…
/r/seduction02/01/25 05:51 PM
3

Assuming attraction is not about believing you’re the handsomest guy in the world. It’s about assuming that SHE is attracted to YOU, regardless of your attributes. It’s not about you. It’s about her feelings for you. I don’t remember where I heard this explanation, but there are 4 possible scenarios. She is either attracted to you or not. You can either assume she is attracted or not. There are 4 possible combinations of these scenarios. Let’s say you assume she’s not attracted and in fact she’s…
/r/seduction02/01/25 10:31 AM
9

Guys, this right here is proof that looks aren't everything. They only make it easier to get in the door. He occasionally gets approached by women. Most guys get approached NEVER. And he's complaining that he sometimes gets approached lol. Improving your physical attractiveness won't help one bit. You're already near maxed out on that. In a sense you could say that women don't find you attractive enough, but it's not your looks that aren't attractive enough, it's your personality. The good news …
/r/seduction02/09/24 11:00 PM
3

Source: a study from the University of Trust Me Bro. People will believe anything they see on the internet. SMH. I think later she said the tweet was meant as a joke.
/r/seduction25/08/24 05:14 PM
6

Post is not vague enough. Need less specifics.
/r/seduction30/06/24 07:35 PM
1

Because it signals that you are going to rearrange your schedule to fit into hers, or that you have nothing else important going on. That you are organizing your life around her. You should never ask her when she is free. That’s bad technique. What you do instead is tell her when YOU are free. I would usually give like 2 options so she can choose the better option. I would say like I’m free Thursday afternoon and Friday afternoon. If neither of those work then I offer another time. Even if I hav…
/r/seduction01/06/24 07:58 PM
5

To be clear we’re talking about her liking you, not falling in love with you, not feeling horny for you, just liking. Liking is not necessarily going to lead to a seduction, but okay. You get what you aim for. One technique is to evoke her process for liking things. So if you know her well you may already know some of the things she likes. Maybe a favorite activity, musician, tv show, fictional character, whatever. If you don’t know yet, ask her what is her favorite activity, fictional character…
/r/seduction16/05/24 08:06 PM
1

Wow I’m surprised how spot on I was. But yeah for sure that would be the reason you can’t trust people and therapy can help with that. You can also tell her about that, what your relationship with your dad was like and that’s the reason why you act certain ways. Because she could be misinterpreting your behavior thinking he just doesn’t like me that much, when really you’re just trying to avoid being attacked. So if she knows that then she at least has the info to be more forgiving of you. And a…
/r/seduction09/05/24 12:15 AM
1

That’s good that you’re not boring. It is always possible to become more interesting. Check out this video on game theory. https://youtu.be/mScpHTIi-kM?si=uVV4zKd-d4APZc1p It has basically been proven that the most effective strategy is to default to being trusting, and forgiving of miscommunication without being a pushover. It can also be hard to trust if you grew up with a parent who was very unpredictable or abusive or you had other experiences with people who hurt you. In other words you had…
/r/seduction08/05/24 11:33 PM
1

You seemed to show zero concern about her being sick. Oh well let me know when you’re free? How about oh no I hope you feel better, can I get you anything? I’ll text you in a few days to see how you’re feeling. Never say let me know when you’re free. Instead let them know when YOU are free. Say ok I’m free next week on this and this day, or I’m free all next week. I have plans to do something fun next week, hope you’re feeling well enough by then to come with. Assuming that they are lying about …
/r/seduction08/05/24 10:27 PM
1

Yes you can feel a sense of disappointment, frustration, loss, hopelessness, etc. sometimes when you are rejected by a complete stranger, the first time, the third time, the tenth time, the hundredth time. You can, you will, and when you do it's fine to feel that way. It's called being human. Only using the death example as an illustration of emotions, not to equate the intensity, but they are both a kind of loss. Emotions work the same way regardless of intensity. But a small loss can escalate …
/r/seduction06/05/24 07:58 AM
1

Well, that’s what I’m saying! We agree. What I’m against is when someone says “be utterly unbothered especially in front of her” without that context, because it can be easily misinterpreted, and if done by suppressing emotions and pretending can utterly backfire and destroy your mental health.
/r/seduction05/05/24 11:12 PM
2

I care that this often repeated bad advice is being repeated again, because at one time I was dumb enough to follow it and I regret it. It works for a short time and then explodes in your face. What I wish I knew at the time was it’s ok to be have emotions if someone does something that upsets you. It also leads to a better relationship because then the other person can actually know you beyond a surface level. But to answer your question, I suppose for me it brings up childhood memories of movi…
/r/seduction05/05/24 07:19 PM
1

This is what people refer to when they talk about toxic masculinity. Not that all masculinity is toxic, but a certain type of immature masculinity is toxic. Allowing yourself to feel emotions is human, not confined to a specific gender. You may say, but women are attracted to men who don’t show emotion. But you also say you shouldn’t care. So if you really don’t care then there should be no problem with letting yourself feel however you feel about it. She’s already rejected you. If you did care …
/r/seduction05/05/24 07:01 PM
0

How does one actually not care if they do care? “Just stop caring.” How? I interpret that to mean suppress my feelings, push them down, and put on a poker face. If anyone asks, I say “I don’t care, I’m not bothered.” This is extremely emotionally unhealthy and a recipe for mental illness. I know the emotionally healthy way of dealing with this, but how would you suggest someone stop caring?
/r/seduction05/05/24 10:54 AM
0

I’m not talking about you. I’m talking about for the person who is upset by it. Telling them just don’t be upset is really terrible advice. Plus then they feel bad about being upset by it like being upset by it is wrong which makes them feel worse.
/r/seduction05/05/24 10:42 AM
-10

Pretending to be unbothered when you are actually bothered is extremely emotionally unhealthy. It's like saying how do I deal with my loved one dying? Just don't be sad. Eventually you come to a place of not being sad by going through a period of mourning. But if you never go through the mourning and letting yourself feel sad, you'll keep feeling sad and never feel better. I think the opposite advice is appropriate: let yourself feel upset about it. Then you can more quickly let it go and move o…
/r/seduction05/05/24 05:20 AM
5

What you seem to be communicating with her is your dissatisfaction with her. Saying men deserve head, she’s not feminine enough, she’s combative. Sounds like you don’t actually like her that much. You could turn it around and find things you appreciate about her and let her know. What you appreciate, grows larger, it appreciates. It encourages more of that. If you want her to be more feminine, whatever that means to you, find some little thing she does that’s feminine and say you appreciate it —…
/r/seduction02/05/24 09:47 AM
1

A phone call or text is not always her preferred method of communication. One technique is to elicit her process for communication by asking “What steps can we take to continue this conversation later?” This allows her to tell you how she prefers to be contacted. Another technique is to set up future date plans BEFORE getting her number. Then when it’s time to part ways, naturally you will need to exchange contact information in order to execute on those plans. The phone number is not the goal a…
/r/seduction28/04/24 07:45 PM
1

Can you name any specific techniques, routines, or principles you’re using in your texting, or are you just wingin it? I would use the texting as practice for techniques just to see what result they produce, rinse and repeat, and then you have a collection of go-tos that you can use for whatever the occasion. If the techniques you’re currently using aren’t getting any results, then make a note of it, and try something different. I bet there are loads of techniques out there that you would be lik…
/r/seduction25/04/24 11:27 PM
1

Did you have a negative experience in middle school? Have you talked to girls without romantic interest, or ever developed romantic interest after talking to them as just friends? Do you have any difficulty talking to women who you don’t have romantic interest in? Could you talk to a woman who you only have a 6 or 7 out of 10 interest in? Ideally romantic interest would develop mutually over the course of some interactions. Women generally start out at an interest level 0 with any random man the…
/r/seduction20/04/24 07:01 PM
1

When you’re starting from zero there are so many things to work on that you could probably start with anything. I don’t think anyone truly starts from zero, that may be a negative exaggeration, and that my be something to work on right there, is to stop making negative exaggerations about yourself. In order to know where to start you need a truly accurate assessment of where you are now, what your strengths and weaknesses are. Also how do you know you’re starting from zero? Did you have some exp…
/r/seduction20/04/24 06:34 PM
1

The only people who will shame you for that are younger guys, because you are their competition, and older women, because younger girls are their competition. It’s out of jealousy and threat to them. Don’t let them bully you with their words. It’s the only way they have to fight back against you because you have such an advantage over them. If people are upset by it, it’s a them problem. They need to get their own shit sorted out.
/r/seduction17/02/24 06:42 PM
3

Sounds like some kind of dom fetish. Perhaps you were mistreated in childhood and believe that’s what you deserve. You’ll never change that by winning over a high quality girl, because as soon as you win her over you will think that you don’t deserve it and she’s no longer the unattainable high quality girl anymore so you will lose interest. The only way to change that is from the inside through therapy.
/r/seduction10/09/23 08:36 PM
1

See, in that question, you're starting off with the assumption that girls aren't interested, and then asking if any are. What if you were to ask the opposite instead. Start with the assumption that girls are interested, and ask your girl friends if they know of anyone who is definitely NOT interested. That way you can narrow down the possibilities. Think of it this way, you have 2 options: assume a girl is interested, or assume she is not. Likewise there are 2 possible realities: the girl is int…
/r/seduction30/10/22 08:40 AM
1

That's called jumping to conclusions when you assume that when they don't say yes, that means they don't want you. Sometimes it means that, but there are many other reasons that women say no despite wanting you. It's also called overgeneralizing, when you say that no girl wants you, because only 100 out of 4 billion said no. You haven't confirmed with the rest of the 4 billion. It's also ignoring all the times that women have said yes without explicitly having to verbally say "yes" when asked di…
/r/seduction30/10/22 06:10 AM
1

If you assume it’s true that no girl wants you, then you’re right, you can’t have an abundance mindset. How to have an abundance mindset: assume it’s not true. The end. If we’re just out here making things up without evidence, what benefit is there to assuming that no girl wants you? Let’s begin by assuming they do and go from there.
/r/seduction29/10/22 02:32 PM
2

You know how when people talk about things that are scary, others feel scared? Or how when you talk about things that are gross they feel grossed out? Or when you talk about things that are boring they feel bored? And how when you talk about these things enough times, they don't just feel that way about the conversation, they feel that way about YOU? Yeah. Don't do that. Try talking about connections and sparks.
/r/seduction23/10/22 11:07 PM
4

This would make a great Seinfeld episode. You’re George in this one. When you’re at the beach you could mention how the beach makes everyone look shorter like an optical illusion. It would be funny.
/r/seduction05/09/22 04:42 PM
1

Well yeah, it is shallowness. But shallowness is a state of mind that is based on what people think they're supposed to want and winning the approval of their peers. It's not based on what people actually want or what would actually make them the most satisfied. People operate in shallow mode most of the time, especially when they're with their group of friends. But to take the things people say when they're in shallow mode as the absolute truth is a mistake. Because they're only trying to win t…
/r/seduction06/08/22 02:41 AM
1

You do realize these are backwards rationalizations? They’re the superficial excuses for why they didn’t like the guy when really they didn’t feel an emotional connection. The guy made them feel awkward and bored and they go meh his fingernails were too shiny or some nonsense.
/r/seduction05/08/22 11:23 PM
1

Lots of good answers here as to why women are like this. But the real problem here is that you hate being nervous around women and you see yourself as a creep because of it. You have an intolerance for your own nervousness and beat yourself up about it by calling yourself a creep. And then, you blame women for that, but really it's you doing it to yourself. You must begin to learn how to tolerate the uncomfortable feelings of nervousness, accept them, and not put extra negative meanings on them,…
/r/seduction03/08/22 06:50 PM
1

Maybe she is just a club promoter and you got scammed
/r/seduction02/07/22 04:58 PM
3

Wait you came to this conclusion without even testing it though? Like did you try or or are you just assuming that's what you needed to do?
/r/seduction06/06/22 05:27 AM
1

6'4 average looking guy here. Literally rejected by every girl I've ever wanted to be with. It's been a long hard road to learn some game to get a little interest.
/r/seduction19/05/22 12:28 AM
3

If you listen and care too much then you end up letting HER feelings dominate the interaction. So essentially you have to wait for HER to start feeling sexual before you can and that’s not going to happen. You can listen and care enough to be able to recognize where she’s at, but don’t go fully into it with her. Lead a little by bringing in your own sexual feelings.
/r/seduction20/04/22 04:32 PM
3

What’s GLL and Red Quest?
/r/seduction17/04/22 05:24 PM
1

This is the equivalent of I clicked on an ad of a hot girl and it infected my computer with a virus. Dude, don’t be so gullible. Don’t hate women because you’re the one who willingly got fooled.
/r/seduction13/04/22 08:15 AM
2

Oh yeah! I did it a few times and then it was MINE. Neil Strauss got it from me, in reverse chronology.
/r/seduction11/04/22 03:08 PM
2

Wow I feel so attracted to you right now
/r/seduction11/04/22 03:05 PM
71

Bonus tip: bring a piece of lint with you and have it in your hand, and then reach out to "pick" the lint off of them. Then show them the piece of lint in your hand as proof that you picked the lint off of them. It's sort of like a cheap magic trick. It's a fun way to fuck with people too.
/r/seduction11/04/22 05:34 AM
2

Who the fuck can drive somewhere when in their mind all they are thinking is I have to check the rear view mirror, I have to put on the turn signal, I have to press in the clutch and shift to a different gear and then release the clutch and press the gas at the precise rate and speed. I have to keep my speed below the limit, but fast enough that I'm not slowing traffic, turn on my wipers when it rains, turn on my lights at night but lower the high beams for oncoming traffic. I have to know where…
/r/seduction24/03/22 05:04 PM
0

You said that "Man provides commitment" but that you shouldn't try to "lock" someone for the LTR as a man. Could you please explain how those are different? How do you give commitment without trying to go for an LTR? If relationship should be woman's idea, and she provides the sex, then what does providing commitment look like? Have I misunderstood the word "commitment" my entire life? Serious question.
/r/seduction11/02/22 07:30 PM
1

Yes that will happen some of the time. It's not the end of the world. You will survive it. It won't kill you. Some women are unfriendly and afraid of the world. That's the way it is. Other women are friendly and inviting. And you can appreciate them even more knowing that not all women are like them which makes them special.
/r/seduction18/12/21 09:04 AM
2

Like I said, you make your own list of what seems difficult for you. Mine is just for demonstration purposes. You could start it even easier like just going outside, or going somewhere near where woman are.
/r/seduction04/12/21 11:00 PM
30

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy There is an exercise for progressive desensitization. First you create a list of actions ordered from easiest to difficult, to progressively move your way up on. For example: Make eye contact Smile Say hi Ask for directions Give a compliment Start a conversation Ask for a number Ask on a date Move in for a kiss Initiate sex etc, etc. You make your own hierarchy of what's difficult for you. Step1 Get yourself into a relaxed state with a few minutes of meditation, brea…
/r/seduction04/12/21 07:40 PM
1

Hold her hand and squeeze it. If she squeezes back she’s interested. In fact any move that can be done secretly so that others won’t notice. It saves you and her embarrassment if she’s not interested. Like touching her knee under a table briefly.
/r/seduction06/11/21 03:18 AM
0

You can agree and escalate with a negative in the same way like "Of course, we're definitely not going to make sweet, passionate love. I'm not going to have you screaming with ecstasy all night until the sun comes up. We're just not going to do that."
/r/seduction01/11/21 03:46 PM
2

This is mostly a men's community, but women are welcome. Majority of people here are having trouble and looking for advice, so you do get a lot of bad advice going back and forth between people who don't know what they're talking about. A small minority do give good advice. But those who are doing well generally don't spend their time here. Quality advice can be found mainly in the sidebar and a few books and programs recommended by the community. This sub is just like the comments section so do…
/r/seduction24/10/21 06:37 AM
2

I've been frequenting this sub and larger community for more than a decade and this is the first time I've ever heard the word "blackpill". Where did you find that?
/r/seduction24/10/21 06:02 AM
2

I have a friend from Brighton and at the end of high school he told me he had slept with about 40 women or so. He could have been lying, but I went to visit him in Brighton for a few weeks and he and his friends would go out clubbing almost every night of the week, hopping from bar to bar and club to club just getting absolutely wasted and having a wild time. They would compete with each other about "pulling" girls home. That was when we were about 18. He would literally go up to girls and tell …
/r/seduction10/10/21 07:04 AM
1

Sorry I was just venting really hard and I rarely do that. But maybe there is something beneficial about having the belief that it is a lot easier and more simple than I think. However I can't reconcile how somehow most of my friends have had many girlfriends and/or have been together with their wives since high school or college, and I have little to no success. I have to speculate that maybe it's anxiety, or insecure attachment style, or shyness, or somehow missing all the signals or having ba…
/r/seduction13/09/21 01:48 AM
2

For someone who's having trouble making friends and meeting people, by definition it is not easy for them to change the situation. That's why I suggested changing the feelings. Changing the feelings first can make it easier to change the situation. And yeah part of changing the feelings can be acceptance and surrender to the feelings as a way of decreasing their effect. OP suggested they've been feeling lonely their whole life. That suggests that changing their situation may not help because the…
/r/seduction12/09/21 07:56 PM
3

Not everyone responds to the same way to every "treatment" or technique. Yes that can work for some people. For others it may do nothing for their feelings of loneliness. They could be surrounded by friends and socializing and still feel lonely. Or some little thing happens and it re-triggers their feelings of loneliness. And the feeling can seriously inhibit any progress in developing social connections. So in a lot of cases what people need to do is target the feelings directly, not try to cov…
/r/seduction12/09/21 07:14 PM
1

I am shocked! Today I Learned.
/r/seduction12/09/21 03:24 PM
2

Wait, there are real women on adult friend finder?? I thought that site was a total scam. Did he meet any of them in person and verified they were real? Or just chatted online?
/r/seduction12/09/21 03:18 PM
42

People tend to think that if they can change their external reality it will change how they feel on the inside. This can be true sometimes but only temporarily. Studies show that a lot of married couples feel lonely often. Feelings of loneliness are not exclusive to just people who are single. That shows that feelings of loneliness come from your internal state, not your external state. You may have had a traumatic experience in the past, maybe from childhood, that made you feel lonely, and that…
/r/seduction12/09/21 07:05 AM
5

Your post reads like someone who is trying to gain a high status within this community by claiming that you have it all figured out and everyone else is wrong, so come ask me everything so you will all worship me and the rest of you are losers and idiots. It's pathetic. It hasn't occurred to you at all that some people have social anxiety, some people are overly sensitive to rejection, some people have emotional baggage and relationship trauma. Some people would have a panic attack if they tried…
/r/seduction12/09/21 06:21 AM
1

A large part of this is getting women to be interested in you who aren't already. That's like the whole point of why people do this. It's to get women who are otherwise neutral to be interested enough to sleep with you. As an example, instead of approaching to hit on them right away, approach them to start a neutral conversation, so they can't reject you right away, and then display your attractive qualities through your stories or questions you ask them, to the point where they start displaying…
/r/seduction03/09/21 11:14 PM
1

In reply to your deleted comment: You're equal in everything with your friends except height? That makes no sense. And that scenario would be in a perfectly idealized world where every single girl has the exact same height preferences. Out of all the things you could choose to notice that you're unequal with your friends, you've decided that height is the only thing that "counts". Nevermind that you could be more charming, more intelligent, more funny, more successful, more kind, more generous, …
/r/seduction29/08/21 09:19 PM
1

I said in general, like for women who care about such things. And in terms of what women think they want. It's more about just being taller than her vs being the tallest guy compared to other guys. And obviously height isn't everything because like I said all the tallest girls I know are married to guys shorter than them. Yeah all things being equal, the taller guy would have better odds. But not all things are equal. It shows that the confidence game is more important overall than the height. I…
/r/seduction29/08/21 06:49 PM
2

It's just your brain looking for something to blame your failures on. It's arbitrary, if you it wasn't your height then you'd be looking for some other external attribute to feel bad about -- penis size, job/income, weight, ethnicity, whatever. It's arbitrary. When it comes to height, in general women just want a guy who is taller than them. There are plenty of sexy short spinner women out there. Just pick one shorter than you. I knew a lot of tall women growing up, and they had a real hard time…
/r/seduction29/08/21 06:05 PM
8

Haha, spoken like some tatted up dirtbag trailer trash. /joking
/r/seduction17/06/21 09:35 PM
6

Tattoos are very polarizing, especially that cover large areas. Only chicks who are really into tattoos are going to be really into you, the others will be disgusted by you. They may be looking at you up and down just to see the tattoos, not because they are attracted. Your best bet is to hang out in scenes where tattoos are considered cool, you will be considered more attractive there.
/r/seduction17/06/21 07:59 PM
5

Shouldn’t I learn Japanese before going to japan? Or travel to Portugal instead? And where does the learning to play an instrument fit in to this? Can I skip that part because it seems like I can travel without it. Who is David Hawkins? I’m so confused.
/r/seduction04/06/21 05:20 PM
3

So I didn't read the entire wall of text, but a clue is that you feel frozen. That means fear. It's called the fight or flight or freeze response. Just ask yourself, what am I most afraid of? If I choose this girl or that girl, what am I most afraid of? That's your place to start. Once you got that then you can work on it.
/r/seduction31/05/21 09:25 PM
1

I think you'd be surprised by how many lines there are like this that aren't manipulative and not what you would normally think of as a "line".
/r/seduction23/05/21 09:04 PM
1

Yeah exactly there are factors outside your control like sometimes a girl is actively looking for someone to date because of her own pre-existing reasons so she's already ready to give you her number. Doesn't mean anything about you. Or if she just got out of a really bad relationship and she's like hell no I'm not looking for anyone right now. Let me offer you one technique, the false time constraint. You say "I'm on my way to meet a friend so I can only stay for a moment". Most people when you…
/r/seduction23/05/21 08:53 PM
1

You're in a state of frustration right now which is totally understandable. But I think it's also clouding your thinking a little bit. I would also recommend the book "Intimate Connections" by David Burns. It's about how to use cognitive therapy on yourself for the purposes of dating. I very highly recommend it. Anyway your goal is whatever you set it to be. So you have a bigger goal, which is whatever you want it to be -- marriage, relationship, dating many different girls, casual sex, whatever…
/r/seduction23/05/21 08:31 PM
1

I see. It's more of a motivational issue. People become less motivated when they are rewarded for success rather than rewarded for effort. If you will only get the reward once you complete the big difficult task, then motivation drops because the chances of being rewarded are too low to be worth trying. That's the situation you are in. Chance of success is low so chance of reward is low. But if you will get the reward just for making the effort, then you don't care whether you succeed or not, yo…
/r/seduction23/05/21 08:03 PM
1

Yeah the most important thing is to understand the fundamentals behind a technique or a line, not the actual words. But I could make the argument that cold approaching is not something that I would do, so therefore I shouldn't try it. That would just be my excuse for not doing it. You do have to push outside your comfort zone and saying and doing new things is part of that. Maybe it's not what you would have done in the past, but if you're not getting results then maybe the thing you need to do …
/r/seduction23/05/21 07:27 PM
2

You CAN just try your own stuff but that's taking the long way. Why not learn from someone who's already figured it out? That's like saying if you want to write a novel but everything you try to write is no good, but you refuse to take a writing class because you think that using what you learn in the class would make your novel not genuine. All you're accomplishing with being genuine is just being genuinely bad at it. You don't really have the luxury of being totally genuine when you're still l…
/r/seduction23/05/21 06:55 PM
3

The point is that majority of guys spend all of their time reading and learning techniques but never approaching because it is the hardest thing to do. Congrats, you can approach! Now you can learn some techniques and lines to add to your repertoire. You’ve conquered the hardest part already. The rest is a lot easier.
/r/seduction23/05/21 08:43 AM
1

If you just do what makes you happy you will never regret it. If casual sex makes you unhappy don’t do it.
/r/seduction07/05/21 11:22 PM
1

Being above average in career, wealth, and education are often disadvantages for women in dating, unfortunately. Personally I really like educated women, but most men are threatened by it. By default women hold all the sexual power in the relationship, but now you've got all the financial power and knowledge power too. Leaves a man feeling like he has nothing of value to bring to the relationship. It is harder for educated wealthy career women to find a partner. It's the same concept as tall wom…
/r/seduction24/04/21 08:41 PM
2

Imagine a time in the past when you felt seductive. What did you see, what did you hear and feel? What things did you say to yourself? Visualize it and bring that feeling back into the present moment. If you’ve never felt seductive, imagine another person you know of who is seductive, and imagine stepping inside their body. What do they see and feel and how do they speak to themselves? What are their beliefs and attitudes? How does it feel to be them? Even if you don’t know exactly what it’s lik…
/r/seduction06/04/21 02:58 PM
1

OP didn’t give concrete examples of what this might look like so everyone’s taking the worst possible interpretation of this behavior. I am intrigued though. What would submission look like in this context? I imagine it more like a woman surrendering herself to you because she can feel totally safe and protected in your care.
/r/seduction06/04/21 02:05 PM
2

During that small talk you should be being curious about her and asking questions that reveal her character. So that instead of liking her only because she's hot, you have real reasons: she's not just hot but you genuinely like her for her personal qualities that you have discovered through asking her about herself. Then when the time comes you can genuinely say "I like you, for this and this reason, not just because you're hot".
/r/seduction03/04/21 09:21 PM
2

That’s a very cool take on it, thank you.
/r/seduction17/03/21 05:54 PM
4

Great video. Do you have any tips on how to feel good enough or to believe that you're good enough? Is there a particular therapy or exercise one can do? Despite having my life together in so many ways, I chronically feel not good enough socially.
/r/seduction16/03/21 08:44 PM
2

I'm sure a lot of people are feeling apathy towards dating right now. You could meet a girl but what fun can you have together? Can't go to a restaurant or go out dancing, can't go traveling. Always having to have covid safety in the back of your mind when you meet up. It's pretty demotivating. There's this really great motivation exercise you can do. Take the thing you have apathy about -- pursuing women -- and make a list of everything you will gain by doing that. Then make a list of everythin…
/r/seduction14/03/21 06:17 PM
1

That’s good to hear. Not sure what you’re asking about then. Maybe your first step is to get more clarity on what exactly you’re feeling. Like when you think about meeting women what are the emotions that come up? Maybe it’s that you’re not clear on the reasons why you would want to be in a relationship. Or not clear about the qualities you want in a relationship and the qualities you want in a woman.
/r/seduction14/03/21 05:43 PM
3

Therapist might be a good idea. Being cheated on by a fiancé might count as a traumatic experience. Got to process those emotions and memories. If you like, do it for the purposes of your own self improvement. I bet you there’s some self blame and shame around it that maybe you’re not even aware of. Your brain probably associates women with all these negative emotions, so now your brain is making you avoid women to avoid feeling bad emotions.
/r/seduction14/03/21 05:25 PM
2

As an opener? You could I guess but they're more getting to know you deeply questions better suited to when you've already got their time and attention.
/r/seduction19/02/21 10:11 PM
3

Perfect material for when you’re on dates and you’re wanting to build more connection.
/r/seduction19/02/21 05:44 PM
1

The first data one would need to collect about this would be surveys of what women say they value most in a partner, and in most surveys you end up with things like kindness, intelligence, and confidence taking the top spots. To go even further, what people say they want is different from what they actually respond to, so there is a certain unreliability in surveys. If you want to know what someone's dating success is you can just ask them, instead of using a proxy measurement of "career, status…
/r/seduction17/02/21 12:53 AM
211

Value is not "career, relative status, success etc". Value is subjective and relative. All you're saying is that what is valuable TO YOU is "career, relative status, success etc", and because some people are not invested in their careers, you deem them to not have actual value. That's your opinion. Some people do NOT value people who are too invested in their careers because they don't make time for the people and relationships in their lives.
/r/seduction16/02/21 08:54 AM
0

That's why I only follow the 10% who aren't full of shit.
/r/seduction15/02/21 06:28 PM
2

Yes this is a known technique that is often recommended.
/r/seduction15/01/21 06:00 PM
1

So sorry to hear that. I have felt that way at times. All of this has given you trauma and depression and false negative beliefs about yourself. You definitely need therapy. This is a psychological problem, don’t try to treat it with sex and women, that won’t help. If you can’t afford it you can start by finding free or low cost online self therapy courses. There are some courses on Udemy about EMDR trauma therapy and CBT cognitive therapy. If you’re looking for a new career that pays incredibly…
/r/seduction05/11/20 05:31 PM
-8

What about spiraling into a depression after rejection because that’s what has happened in the past several times. Solve that one, genius.
/r/seduction13/08/20 08:52 PM
2

For me personally, bake me something or make me some food as a gift. Instant love.
/r/seduction10/08/20 02:48 AM
1

Many women are allergic to fragrance, bear that in mind.
/r/seduction29/07/20 09:42 PM
4

I know, I AM amazing, aren’t I.
/r/seduction14/05/20 02:59 AM
7

Discuss mutual interests! Ok I think you got the wrong takeaway from that. It's not the mutual interest that turned you on. It's the sexually suggestive language and the double entendre. That's the basis of seductive language patterns. That's the real lesson. Learn how to use your language using sexual suggestion to turn women on.
/r/seduction13/05/20 10:31 PM
21

My condolences on your death.
/r/seduction09/05/20 07:58 PM
1

https://www.amazon.com/Art-Seduction-Robert-Greene/dp/0142001198 Doesn’t give conversation examples, but gives an overview of what seduction is.
/r/seduction26/04/20 01:43 AM
1

Yeah if you have sex right away then she will always think that you only want her for the sex and can never trust that you really have an emotional connection. But if you start with the emotional connection then she can be confident that you really like her for lots of other reasons than just sex.
/r/seduction14/02/20 08:31 PM
1

Short answer is don’t have a one night stand. Spend more time over multiple dates building comfort and trust and emotional intimacy before you sleep with her.
/r/seduction14/02/20 06:32 PM
1

Me: enters bodybuilding subreddit Dude, you don’t need to lift so many weights all the time or trade muscle building tips online. Just go for a jog once in a while and you’re good.
/r/seduction05/02/20 03:30 PM
2

Visualize success. Your outlook on dating has everything to do with your conditioned emotional habits and reactions from the past. When you rehearse in your mind positive future scenarios where you are having success, you're retraining your brain to associate positive emotions to the experience of dating. The key is to really feel the positive emotions when you're visualizing. Then when you think about dating, you won't feel bad, you'll feel good, and that will keep you motivated because you wil…
/r/seduction31/01/20 01:58 AM
2

Don’t dismiss my questions, really think about it. You don’t have to answer to me, but answer to yourself. If people are so unpredictable, what is the absolute worst thing you think could happen if you scare a woman by touching her on the shoulder? Just hypothetically. Of course you don’t want to scare someone, but can you predict the future? Are you personally responsible for every emotion that someone else has? Can you read her mind? Try to find a positive label for yourself that fits the situ…
/r/seduction23/10/19 05:41 PM
1

Ok let’s unpack that. There are three potential inaccuracies or distortions in that thought. “She would get scared” is fortune telling or predicting the future. Ask yourself, can I predict the future? Of course the answer is no. Suppose she did get scared, what are you afraid of about that? What are you afraid might happen as a result? “She wouldn’t want some stranger to touch her” is mind reading. Ask yourself, can I read minds? Suppose she wouldn’t want someone to touch her and you touched her…
/r/seduction23/10/19 04:51 PM
1

It could be just her level of comfort with the situation. Is your body language invading her personal space too much? Have you given a false time constraint so she’s not worried that you will stay forever? Did you telegraph too much interest so she’s already evaluating whether she has any romantic interest even before you’ve gotten to show her your personality? Maybe she’s uncomfortable with how it’s happening in public so you could acknowledge to her how weird it is that you’re approaching her.
/r/seduction07/10/19 03:29 PM
1

It can can also lead you to pathological self improvement to where you improve your life exponentially to the point where you’ve achieved everything and still feel miserable and worthless despite everything, except now your health takes a toll because of the chronic stress you’ve experienced from putting yourself through hell to achieve everything. I would recommend to start by changing the internal belief because nothing external is going to make a dent. When you believe you are good enough the…
/r/seduction07/10/19 02:32 PM
5

Fear that if I escalate sexually, the girl will claim sexual harassment and rape, or that in my clumsiness and incompetence I accidentally do something molesty even though that's not my intent.
/r/seduction25/09/19 11:18 PM
13

Lot of weird comments in this thread. Anyway when you touch someone’s shoulder, it’s generally going to be after you’re in conversation with them and you’re making eye contact and smiling, and somewhat comfortable being an a close conversational personal space. If you’re not there yet that’s where you should start. The touching the shoulder would be like how some people speak with their hands, you’re sort of gesturing and to punctuate a point you reach out and touch their shoulder. Or like if yo…
/r/seduction21/09/19 05:35 PM
30

Because you are attracted to your fantasy of the ideal unattainable woman. As soon as they appear attainable they are no longer part of your fantasy. You must learn how to discover what is unique about them that you find attractive. This is the part where you qualify them and ask them about their personality and personal qualities. It’s basically finding the deeper human part of them that you can genuinely connect with and feel turned on by.
/r/seduction17/09/19 04:54 PM
5

Congratulations, you found what works for you. There isn’t any one method that works for everyone. No need to trash on someone else’s method. No need to trash on others who are still learning just because you’ve figured it out. That’s a bad attitude to have.
/r/seduction15/09/19 09:39 PM
3

Never knew walking up to someone and saying hello and asking for their phone number was considered a “technique”. Makes it sounds so fancy.
/r/seduction10/09/19 04:33 PM
6

Or your father? Christ how the fuck were some of you raised? You know some people were unfortunate enough to be raised without a father you judgmental prick. Some people lived through situations which prevented them maturing socially. Some people have communication deficits. Some people experienced childhood trauma which made them extra anxious around people. Who in the living fuck are you to judge and denigrate them for it? Why the fuck should anyone listen to you? No wonder you were having lad…
/r/seduction06/09/19 02:50 AM
3

This post just sounds like complaining. You ask what to do? Go out and meet people! Don’t know how to do that? Read the sidebar! Have a specific question? Ask in /r/askseddit
/r/seduction05/09/19 06:05 PM
2

You're welcome for reading. Not sure why people post about this sort of thing in this sub in particular. You could try posting in a support forum for depression or suicide as well. I'm feeling a similar way at the moment. Just remember, the brain can play some dirty tricks on you. It will send you false messages that make you feel awful. It sucks. I say fuck you brain! I know what you're trying to do and you won't fool me this time. Stop it now!
/r/seduction31/08/19 10:32 PM
1

Yes, it comes from a belief that you're not worthy, not good enough, not lovable, etc. And not only does your mind look for confirming evidence, it will bring back old memories just to prove it to you. Like see, look at this memory, this is proof that you're not worthy. And then when you experience another rejection, it's interpreted as further confirmation that you aren't worthy. By contrast another person could experience a rejection and think this isn't evidence of anything, I believe I am wo…
/r/seduction31/08/19 10:01 PM
2

Pretty much no, other than apologizing for not making it clear beforehand.
/r/seduction31/08/19 07:45 PM
5

A lot of assumptions and preconceptions in this post my friend.
/r/seduction31/08/19 07:41 PM
3

I have come to the conclusion that no girls like what I have to offer personality-wise That's your first problem right there, is the self-defeating irrational belief. When you believe that, you start to operate in the world as if that were true and your brain will look for confirming evidence. Which came first, the belief or the evidence? Not only that, but it makes you feel bad about yourself. It's an inaccurate belief because it's a distortion of reality. A more accurate statement might be thi…
/r/seduction31/08/19 07:34 PM
2

I don’t think this is the right sub for you right now. There’s basically nothing wrong with you other than how you react to these situations. You have experienced bullying which is a psychological trauma, and perhaps you’ve experienced other traumas, and that sets you up for greater anxiety, fear, and avoidance behaviors. The way you described everything you can tell all the sort of anxious and self defeating thinking patterns going on. I think you’d be better off seeking out mental health help …
/r/seduction26/08/19 03:49 PM
3

Prejudice and ignorance. People have preconceived ideas and beliefs and associations about things which they know nothing about.
/r/seduction25/08/19 08:25 AM
2

Sounds like you are doing this out of fear of losing her and that is a fundamentally bad frame to be coming from. What if instead she was afraid of losing you? How would that change your interaction? Would you need to ask her out now? Anyways even if she says yes you can still lose her on the vacation. She can change her mind. How about maybe if she’s lucky you will still be available for her when she gets back from vacation which you would happily go for but you can’t make any guarantees.
/r/seduction18/08/19 10:09 PM
2

My point is low-status is an unhelpful label you place on yourself. The fact that it can be relative is evidence of how it is an inaccurate term. That may not be enough for you to convince yourself that it’s an inaccurate label. It could be simply that you feel inferior, and using emotional reasoning you think that because you feel that way it must be true. It might be more accurate to say that you feel low status rather than to say that you are objectively low status, because you can’t objectiv…
/r/seduction07/08/19 06:32 AM
3

Don’t bang your head against a wall, it’s not good for your neck.
/r/seduction05/08/19 02:56 PM
3

Envy and resentment are emotions. The issue here is how to deal with emotions, not so much how to deal with being inexperienced, but how you feel about being inexperienced. Cognitive therapy is a great tool for helping with this. Emotions are greatly influenced by your thoughts about a situation, especially if those thoughts are inaccurate. Take for example your claim that a lot of guys don't have to do any real work. That seems like an exaggeration to me, of course relationships take work, thin…
/r/seduction05/08/19 08:07 AM
4

There are 2 types of self esteem, dependent and independent. Dependent comes from external circumstances, and independent is internal. Examples of dependent self esteem are receiving a compliment, getting a raise, buying a new car, getting a hot girlfriend -- all things that come from the external environment. Examples of independent self esteem are doing meditation, getting exercise, changing your thoughts through therapy, taking actions that are in alignment with your values. These are things …
/r/seduction26/07/19 03:18 AM
1

I feel you man, 6' +, almost 6 figure here. I mean, it might help you get a more attractive woman than the other guy, but it doesn't automatically make dating and relationships any easier. All it means is deep down if you believe that you're not lovable, not attractive, not a worthwhile person, your brain is going to find every external reason to back that up. If you're not 6 foot then your brain is going to make that the reason. If you have no other logical reason, then your brain is going to s…
/r/seduction06/05/19 02:37 AM
1

I agree, that is not the best beard trim. Higher up on the cheeks and further down towards the crease above the adam's apple.
/r/seduction06/05/19 02:08 AM
2

I think reasons are a powerful motivator, even if the reasons are made up. It could be helpful if you write down 10 reasons why you must start conversations out of the blue. The reasons may exist already but they’re just not front of mind. Then if asked why did you start talking to me, you can say because... I received an intuition from the cosmos telling me something wonderful will happen if I go talk to her, or whatever.
/r/seduction30/04/19 04:04 PM
1

No, the only thing that matters is making her feel emotions and physically turned on. Looks are one way of doing it that gives you a shortcut if you have it. You can be incredibly good looking but a vile person and those looks aren’t going to do much for you. That’s like asking if getting money is the only thing that makes you happy. Without money you might have a harder time, but ultimately it comes down to your inner feelings making it happen, not the external circumstances.
/r/seduction07/04/19 05:24 PM
5

I agree with what you’re saying here but look at it from this other perspective. When a girl says she’s not interested, she’s not disinterested forever, just in that moment. And she’s only disinterested based on the limited information that she has. If she has had no interactions with you and doesn’t know you, her disinterest can be based on false information, or projecting onto you from past experiences. You might have more of an uphill battle in that situation than if you just move on to someo…
/r/seduction04/04/19 04:23 PM
1

You experienced a psychological trauma. I’m willing to bet that you have a lot of intense emotions about it that are suppressed because they’re too uncomfortable. You may have feelings of guilt, shame, fear. Even in situations where someone was not at fault at all, they can still have intense guilt about it, like blaming themselves or wishing they could have done something differently. You will have to process and release those emotions in therapy. Definitely seek out a trauma therapist. EMDR is…
/r/seduction17/03/19 05:20 PM
0

I have gone through the exact same thing, same exact thoughts and feelings. I didn’t realize it before, but as someone else said, it is a kind of victim mentality. I felt like the victim because I saw it as someone else doing it to me — the girls rejecting me because I wasn’t perfect, other guys intentionally interfering to screw things up, and none of it was my responsibility because I did everything right. What ultimately helped me feel better is cognitive therapy, specifically the mood journa…
/r/seduction11/12/18 06:07 PM
3

This isn’t because of pua. It’s because your friend has increased the level of external validation he gets from his pua successes. Talking about the watch for example is an attempt at receiving external validation. External validation gives you an ego. Ego makes you act like a jerk. It’s human nature. Your friend and his circle need to work on their internal validation.
/r/seduction07/12/18 05:55 PM
2

It's worse to put all the pressure on one girl that this one relationship has to work out. Some relationships work and some don't, most people understand that. You can increase your and her odds of finding happiness if you date a variety of people. At some point you might decide that you want to be exclusive with one of these girls only after you know that you click and are happy with each other. Until then pursue as many women as possible.
/r/seduction30/10/18 07:25 AM
0

Thanks for the perspective. As others have said, catcalling has nothing to do with this sub. But good reminder for newbs who are uninformed. If you were out walking on the street, and passing by you was your future husband and ideal lover, only you didn't know it yet because you didn't know him yet, how do you imagine you and him meeting in the ideal scenario?
/r/seduction22/09/18 05:33 PM
1

Great! Better would be to name a specific emotion rather than feel bad, like angry, frustrated, sad, hurt, jealous, afraid, etc The other part of this is that nobody has the right to say that you shouldn’t feel a certain way. You feel how you feel, there’s no deeper truth than that. In this situation I say I’m just telling you how I feel about it. How I should or shouldn’t feel is irrelevant. Anyway a small dose of conflict is healthy for a relationship. It’s the only means by which the relation…
/r/seduction26/08/18 03:40 AM
2

It's just cultural in the US. Everyone asks what's your job when they don't know what else to say. Don't blame them for it. You can answer briefly about your job and then just go on and talk about your hobbies and interests instead.
/r/seduction26/08/18 02:05 AM
1

That’s called normal human behavior. People are more likely to comply with a request when you give them a reason. Before she asks why, say “I want you to do X because ...” But also consider that telling her to do things can be a way for you to avoid communicating your emotions. Consider saying “I don’t like when you do X because it makes me feel...” or say “I love it when you do X because ...” Positive reinforcement when she does something you like makes her more likely to do it again and again …
/r/seduction26/08/18 01:53 AM
1

Focus on how do you handle people teasing you about it. You can’t control how other people behave towards you, but you can control how you respond. You could analyze why does being teased about it bother me? What bothers you about it? You can let them know that it bothers you and you won’t accept that kind of behavior from them. You can have boundaries.
/r/seduction22/08/18 06:29 AM
1

Phew, I was just going to say, invest everything in index funds/ETFs. I use betterment.com and it is fantastic. You could live off your earnings for the rest of your life, never having to dip into your investment. Congrats on your good fortune! And you’re right, just having money makes no difference, other than attracting gold diggers, which is just another obstacle that you have to watch out for. But it does give you freedom of time to spend doing social activities and having a fun interesting …
/r/seduction09/08/18 01:49 AM
1

Well you look about 5 years older. That’s normal. I would be concerned if you didn’t look any different! Also you like slightly fatter 5 yrs ago, face is slightly more defined now. Nothing in particular strikes me as looking bad. The only thing I notice is the expression on your face doesn’t look so good to me. This is likely because of the depression. But then you can look at it and feel depressed that you have an expression on your face that doesn’t look so great. So it just feeds itself. When…
/r/seduction30/07/18 12:41 AM
107

You have to realize that what people present on social media is an idealized version of themselves, not who they really are. You don’t know who she is just based on her Instagram. I thought you were going to say you found out she likes to murder puppies or some shit. Those all sound pretty great to me. It can give you lots to talk about, you know you can ask her how she got into those hobbies and what she likes about them. Soo much better that she has like actual interests and isn’t boring as sh…
/r/seduction30/07/18 12:20 AM
2

I would bet that you simply don’t enjoy going out. It’s not fun for you. Does it feel more like a chore? Energy level is very much tied to fun and enjoyment. Try other activities that are more fun for you where there are still opportunities to meet women. Have more fun activities in your life in general. Have fun activities planned that you can invite women to come with you.
/r/seduction28/07/18 04:51 PM
1

Goddamnit, someone needs to write an article called how to attract women without social intelligence, confidence, or ambition.
/r/seduction22/07/18 03:32 AM
14

If you’re able to set up that many dates you’re doing a really great job, honestly! From how you described it, you made it sound like you’re going on restaurant dates as your first date. Restaurants can be pretty boring, and a bit too serious and intimidating. Try something else where you feel you can be more yourself and let loose and have fun. Restaurant can be fine if you really have a passion for fine food, because you can talk about the food. But otherwise take her to do something that is f…
/r/seduction22/07/18 03:00 AM
9

"Oh thanks! I'm glad you like it!" as if receiving a compliment
/r/seduction11/04/18 07:08 PM
1

Since then I have improved myself in so many ways like you suggest. But in a way, if I were to ask someone out and receive a no now, after all this improvement, I think it would be devastating, because it would suggest that no matter how much work I put into improving myself it's still not going to be enough. And that maybe it really was just "me" that she was rejecting, not the way I dress or talk or my physique, and that improving those things didn't make a difference. If I receive a rejection…
/r/seduction20/12/17 10:34 PM
2

That's a good metaphor. I'm talking about girls who I had known for some time and had a connection with. And I was convinced that they were good fruit. If I eat a good fruit and it makes me sick, the first time must be a fluke. The second time is like what are the odds? The third time is like ok I must be allergic to this fruit, because it's good but it's making me sick. It has to be something wrong with me. With that conclusion, makes sense not to eat fruit anymore if you're allergic to it. But…
/r/seduction20/12/17 10:22 PM
1

I'm just saying, it's a little hard to think "maybe she'll say yes and I'm cool as fuck, why would she say no?" the next time around, because they did end up saying no. 3 times. Obviously then there are plenty of reasons why they would say no, regardless if I'm cool as fuck. So what then? What other ways are there to fool myself into thinking that she might say yes? And is that even a good idea?
/r/seduction20/12/17 07:58 PM
3

One time I thought to myself “maybe she’ll say no, maybe she’ll say yes, let’s find out”. She said no. The next girl said no. And the next girl said no again. Each time I felt pretty sure they would say yes because they seemed to like me. I never asked a girl out after that. It seemed pretty clear that it would always be no. What then?
/r/seduction20/12/17 05:39 PM
1

A lot of people who use online dating do so because they are just too busy to do it in real life. So she may be one of those. Also you can get back to her just letting her know the times you are available so she can pick a time that works for her. If you have a lot of times available, narrow it down to just a few choices at first.
/r/seduction18/12/17 03:21 PM
1

Can't think of a good book on the subject -- I've picked up different pieces from various sources. The main concept of external vs internal self-esteem (or dependent vs independent self-esteem) comes from the Harvard class on Positive Psychology taught by Tal Ben-Shahar. I downloaded the videos of the class off the internet years ago, I don't know if you can still find them. But Tal Ben-Shahar has written some books on happiness and positive psychology so he's probably written about it there. An…
/r/seduction17/12/17 09:32 PM
2

What I mean is getting it from your own beliefs about yourself, your thoughts, your actions, being aware of your own values and living your life accordingly. Things that come from within you. Expressing who you are, your own thoughts and opinions without bending them to try to please someone else. Doing things to please yourself instead. Being honest with yourself. Accepting yourself. There are many ways to do it, but the general idea is to not rely on external validation. External validation is…
/r/seduction17/12/17 06:26 PM
1

If your self esteem fluctuates a lot, that’s because you’re getting all of it from external sources, which you don’t have control over. It’s really unstable when you do it like that. The only way to have stable self esteem is by getting it from an internal source, which you do have control over. So the answer is, work on your inner game. That could include talking to a therapist, or taking up a meditation practice.
/r/seduction17/12/17 05:55 PM
1

You’re in a relationship. If you ignore it or pretend like it doesn’t bother you, that’s going to kill the relationship. Avoiding conflict in a relationship kills the relationship. There’s only one right answer. Tell her that it bothers you.
/r/seduction13/11/17 05:18 PM
10

That's a great insight! How did you address the inadequacy and fear of being alone? Or was it this insight by itself that did it?
/r/seduction16/07/17 04:39 PM
1

Because you ask the wrong question. The right question is "How can I (21M) get a girlfriend?"
/r/seduction12/05/17 08:34 PM
0

Don't worry about being perfect Realize that its nothing to do with you, it's just what's going on with her Allow yourself to feel the sting of rejection. Don't try to suppress your hurt feelings. Show some human emotion about it. Tell your friends and joke about it. You will feel better quicker. Try a less risky approach next time. You could simply do eye contact and smile. Or eye contact and a quick "hi". No need to go in for conversation right away.
/r/seduction29/01/17 06:34 PM
1

With this attitude even if you did hook up with the girl, you'd still be cursing yourself that she didn't want to see you again, or that she wasn't hot enough, or that you only hooked up with the one and not both. Change your attitude. That sounds pretty awesome, you had a party and there were at least 2 girls there and you grinded on one of them. That's a success bro. Good work! Keep it up!
/r/seduction29/01/17 06:22 PM
2

When someone says no at first sight, their judgement is based on very little information, so by definition it is not accurate. You can be exactly what she's looking for, you could be her future husband and she (nor you) knows it yet. So all you can take from that is that no she's not interested in being hit on by a random guy at that point in time. Sometimes you can't get past another person's inaccurate judgements and bad life choices. All you can do is be there, show her who you really are, an…
/r/seduction28/01/17 07:20 PM
5

I was scared of saying 'I like you, I want you to come home with me', and even if I did try it, the words would be full of my own shame. But once I learned to OWN my wants and needs... This is my issue right here. How did you learn to own your own wants and needs? What can someone do to feel less ashamed of expressing their attraction and desire?
/r/seduction05/01/17 06:42 PM
1

Since you can't go to a therapist, I'll give you a quick pro tip. Do this: make a list of the top 2 or 3 traumatic experiences you had in the past that still bother you, for example being bullied, humiliated, rejected in high school. Then write down on a piece of paper the answer to this question for each one: What are the learnings I've gained from this experience that I can carry forward with me in my life? That's it. Actually DO IT! You can't put it in the past until you initiate a new perspe…
/r/seduction14/12/16 05:25 PM
4

Lol best response ever.
/r/seduction09/09/16 04:06 AM
1

Joyable is a great online program for social anxiety based on cognitive behavioral therapy. I think you will get a lot out of it and it well help you learn to stop thinking of yourself as a piece of shit and interpret your social interactions more positively so you will feel less anxiety.
/r/seduction16/12/15 11:02 PM
1

Many of the techniques like negging are for when you are opening a total stranger and you need to hook them somehow. If you're already going on dates with women, then negging them at that point is going to be rude. You need to be looking at techniques that are about being playful, fun, rapport, comfort, trust, and vulnerability. That's where you're hitting your sticking point I think. You already have their attraction, they're at the point where they are out with you and are looking to connect w…
/r/seduction29/10/15 10:40 PM
3

I second Models and No More Mr. Nice Guy. I think you can benefit from cognitive therapy. If you're lacking motivation to make sexual comments (flirt) you can do the cost/benefit analysis where you list all the advantages and disadvantages of making sexual comments. Or you can do the daily mood log/upsetting event exercise where you write down the upsetting event (where you wanted to make a sexual comment but couldn't) and write down all the negative emotions, and all the negative thoughts. I am…
/r/seduction20/06/15 05:02 PM
2

So, all four of them said "I am dumping you because you make slightly gay gestures sometimes." Or did they dump you and then you asked yourself why did they dump me? And you said I know, because I made those gay gestures!
/r/seduction20/06/15 04:47 PM
7

Success does not breed confidence. Okay, it breeds a short-term superficial confidence that only puffs up your ego and makes you an asshole. Success gives you an externally-dependent confidence. What you need is INTERNAL confidence, independent confidence, one that is not dependent on success or looking like a pretty boy. Negative thoughts like "I'm ugly" breeds internal self-doubt and low self-esteem. You can use cognitive therapy or CBT to help you realize that these negative thoughts are unre…
/r/seduction12/06/15 06:39 PM
1

No, you should just tell her that you're interested.
/r/seduction12/06/15 06:27 PM
1

You have depression, so it's entirely possible and highly likely that you have had women who were attracted to you but your depression and your negative thoughts are telling you that you haven't. Never getting a long stare in public is not proof of never having someone attracted to you. Most of the time when someone is attracted to you there's no evidence at all. So you have to get to that place in your mind where your default assumption is that women are attracted to you. While it's not always …
/r/seduction06/02/15 04:38 PM
1

What I was describing is not necessarily you in particular, but is the typical thing that happens with with humans. There are studies on it, you get lots of external validation and it makes you more of a jerk, less empathetic, less generous, more anti-social, more entitled. You cultivate more internal self-esteem and it makes you more generous, more empathetic, more pro-social. What I mean by internal validation is doing things that affect your inner state of being, independent of outside circum…
/r/seduction14/09/14 08:25 PM
3

I get sick of the sometimes bad advice on this sub... Anyways part of why it worked before is because you found yourself in a niche activity. Whatever you were doing with kids, that's a certain niche. Going out to bars is a kind of niche, but is much more general and all you really meet are people who like to go out for drinks. There are some guys who really fit into that niche and some don't. No matter, go find another niche elsewhere. Just find some other group social activities that you enjoy…
/r/seduction14/09/14 06:21 PM
4

Mark Manson's theory is that something like a tattoo will polarize someone's opinion of you. So if you don't have a tattoo, people will think eh he's just a normal guy, don't really hate him, don't really like him, just neutral. If you DO have a tattoo, some people really despise tattoos and some people really love tattoos. The tattoo is going to give you just as much negative attention as positive. It's just the positive attention is more intense than if you didn't have a tattoo. A tattoo polar…
/r/seduction16/06/14 07:37 AM
319

It's called a false time constraint, or a takeaway. He started to leave, making you feel briefly a sense of loss and wanting him to come back. His leaving created a false sense that he was now gone and you can relax because he's not going to bother you any longer. As soon as that happened you were open to interacting with him more. I notice it constantly on the phone. The conversation will be dead until I say I have to go now, or I only have 5 minutes, and suddenly the other person wants to talk…
/r/seduction22/05/14 05:57 PM
1

Start off small and build your way up. You can't do it all at once... well, you CAN, but you wont be able to consistently get yourself to do it over and over again unless you build up slowly. First just practice making eye contact until you're completely comfortable with that if you're not already. Then practice smiling at them, again until you're totally comfortable smiling at them. Then practice saying hi and smiling as you walk past. You'll notice that some won't notice you, some will notice …
/r/seduction21/05/14 06:09 AM
15

Yeah but that's your girlfriend's reaction, not the reaction of the girl on the audio. If you listen she responds positively by qualifying herself by saying that she's not that young and he's not that much older. He's just stating out loud what her objections might be before she makes them, it shows an awareness of her situation and concerns.
/r/seduction26/03/14 05:34 AM
3

Are you sure about that? I had a licensed sex therapist tell me that precum actually has the most potent sperm of all, and that's why you should never do the pull out method. Did he give me bad info?
/r/seduction24/03/14 04:55 PM
3

So many great posts on this subreddit the past few days!
/r/seduction20/03/14 05:03 AM
4

I've experienced similar feelings so I think I know where you're coming from. You feel resentful towards women because you don't like yourself, and you think you need women to like you in order to like yourself, so you blame women for that. In my case I didn't like myself because of my lack of success with women, and I was just angry at women because I thought if they liked me more and gave me what I wanted then I wouldn't be so angry so it was their fault! There's a great book I discovered call…
/r/seduction18/03/14 07:42 PM
2

Cowboy the fuck up?
/r/seduction18/03/14 07:18 PM
2

Yes, I think teasing is a good idea because when you tease, you let her know that its something you disapprove of, without being angry. You wouldn't really have a right to be angry because she never knew that that kind of behavior was unacceptable with you. But if you tease, you're subtly saying hey that kind of behavior won't fly with me and I'm telling you now and reminding you in a friendly way. I mean, teasing would be the indirect way of saying it, whereas what I said would be the direct wa…
/r/seduction17/02/14 02:20 AM
8

It builds intimacy. You might equate intimacy to neediness because in your mental schema revealing who you really are leads to rejection, which makes you feel needy. Which is why you say it's okay in a LTR because less chance of rejection. In fact it's the opposite of needy. What's really needy is trying to calculate whether something will seem needy or not to her, because you're needing her response to be positive. When you just say how you feel, you're not needing any response in particular, y…
/r/seduction16/02/14 08:07 PM
9

She does not have any obligation or responsibility to call you back. By calling her out on it, you're really calling out the fact that you have a secret rule that you didn't tell her, that she has to call you back. If that's your rule, you should say it up front. I'm sure she would not agree to that rule, it is a bit demanding and unreasonable. The best thing to do here is tell her how it made you feel to not be called back. I tell her "you didn't call me back and it made me feel like you don't …
/r/seduction16/02/14 07:01 PM
3

Self validation, or internal validation.
/r/seduction24/01/14 07:47 PM
1

No More Mr Nice Guy has a better suggestion: FAP! Healthy masturbation. Do not fap to porn, do not fap while fantasizing. Just by yourself, without the need for extra stimulation. Do it without the goal of orgasming. Just enjoy your body. I tried it a few times and it is liberating! You learn that you don't need to look at or even think about a naked woman to make yourself feel amazing. It can make you less dependent on women for your sexual satisfaction, and make you more outcome independent. I…
/r/seduction20/01/14 05:26 AM
19

You're talking about being kind. Nice is totally different.
/r/seduction14/01/14 09:53 PM
8

Yes but the problem isn't from voluntary overthinking, it's from involuntary overthinking negative thoughts. You can neutralize the negative thoughts and negative feelings behind them beforehand so that when you're in the moment you won't have those thoughts popping up anymore, or rather have those negative thoughts and feelings replaced with more rational thoughts and feelings, so that when you're in the moment you're automatically thinking rational thoughts rather than negative thoughts.
/r/seduction08/01/14 09:35 PM
6

Yes, we men are supposed to lead into sex, but that doesn't mean we have to be good at leading into sex. We can still be bad and that's good enough. We can have no idea how to please her and that's fine, we don't need to please her. We only have to please ourselves, which we can do by touching her wherever we want, kissing her wherever we feel like it, telling her what you want to do to you. Forget about being sexually competent and rocking her socks off, that part doesn't matter. I just read No…
/r/seduction08/12/13 09:32 AM
7

You're right, being a virgin does matter to some women. I agree with your points, and the OP's argument lacks understanding of the issue. But here's another perspective: why does it matter to you that it matters to them? Is it your job to please women by being everything that you think they want you to be? What if you only had to please yourself? Then you could decide that being a virgin doesn't matter to you and that you will only accept treating yourself with kindness, love, empathy and respec…
/r/seduction07/12/13 09:53 PM
1

It's unhealthy conflict avoidance. You notice one thing you don't like, but you don't bring it up, so it goes unresolved. Then another thing you don't like comes up, and pretty soon you have all these unresolved conflicts, a huge list of things you don't like but never brought up and never resolved. You may also be neglecting to acknowledge the things that you do like about them. I try to be vocal about things that I like about her, as well as the things I don't like. That way she knows to be mo…
/r/seduction30/11/13 04:02 AM
1

Congrats, but also this is the inherent problem with just getting laid. The most connected relationships come from human vulnerability and that feeling of insufficiency and need to be loved. A lot of pickup game bypasses all of that. When you become too good at it, you run the risk of losing that sense that you're not good enough, and thus lose some capacity for deep human connection and vulnerability. Also sex turns into a self-gratification experience rather than a deep emotional bonding exper…
/r/seduction03/11/13 04:08 PM
4

I would be shocked if you went to bars every day of the week for years and never talked to anyone else. But if you never go to bars then no, it's not shocking at all. I once took a college aged girl to a bar, she said it was her first time going to a bar. I found it odd, but then I was self aware enough to realize that my world is not the only world that exists. Some people have never been to a bar.
/r/seduction27/10/13 06:51 PM
2

Well, you don't necessarily have to isolate her. Just realize that's its probably uncomfortable for her to give her number to someone in front of friends and colleagues. Isolating is one way to do it.
/r/seduction25/10/13 12:16 AM
2

You did really good! My take on it is 2 things went wrong. One is that you specifically went back over to her later to ask for the number, I think it's better to ask in the middle or end of a conversation, not right at the beginning. You could have started up another conversational topic first and then cut it short by saying you have to go with your friend and then ask for the number. The second thing is my intuition says that she was uncomfortable about giving you her number in a public setting…
/r/seduction24/10/13 05:59 PM
4

Look, when you're rating a woman on a 1-10 scale, you might think that you're rating her subjective looks, but in actual fact you are rating your level of how attracted to her you feel based on your first impression, usually looks. That's it. It's a level of your feelings of attraction. There's nothing needy about that.
/r/seduction11/10/13 08:02 AM
2

Because you're human.
/r/seduction27/09/13 02:44 AM
3

I think oneitis is about having romantic perfectionism. It's the idea that it's only okay to have certain feelings towards your romantic partner, to always have perfect feelings of love and attraction 100% of the time, and that it's never okay to feel unattracted and unloving towards your partner even for a minute. So, romantic perfectionists create an idealized fantasy about a certain woman, about how perfect she is and how perfect your relationship will be and how perfectly you will love her. …
/r/seduction05/09/13 12:29 AM
6

Yes, but it's not about how fast or slow. It's just about escalating through various levels of risk-taking and showing interest. If you're really good you can do it quickly. If you jump straight to "will you be my girlfriend" then the risk is very high and the chance of success is low. Going from hello to getting her number in a few minutes is a rather quick jump. Depends on what you do in the few minutes in between. If you are successively showing more and more interest in her during that time,…
/r/seduction03/09/13 09:38 PM
56

Great job! Let me give you some tips. I think you've expressed too much interest too early. At least it's better than professing your undying love, which is waaay too much interest too early, you've improved but you need to do one better. Try building up your expressions of interest little by little. For example first smile and say hi, then on another day give her a compliment. Then maybe invite her to join you in some social occasion or for lunch or something. Then start showing sexual interest…
/r/seduction03/09/13 07:36 PM
6

Try this: First write down all the advantages of going out and socializing. Then write down the disadvantages of going out and socializing. Then write down the advantages of not going out and socializing, and then write down the disadvantages of not socializing. Got it? 1. Advantages of doing it 2. Disadvantages of doing it 3. Advantages of not doing it 4. Disadvantages of not doing it
/r/seduction02/09/13 10:23 AM
1

It's okay to get some confidence from external sources. But it's also good to get internal confidence as well. If you have any sort of mental practice then you should see an increase in inner confidence. You can do meditation, visualizing success, listing your positive qualities and achievements, journaling what you are grateful for and what your successes are each day are just a few ways to boost your inner confidence.
/r/seduction28/08/13 04:56 AM
1

I think you need to take into account a woman's level of interest in you when deciding whether to keep pursuing. You can increase a woman's interest in you a little bit, say from a 7 to an 8. But she kind of sounds like she's at a level 6 interest in pretty much every guy right now, she says she's having fun with her friends and just got out of a relationship. Maybe her self-esteem is low at the moment and she wants to build it up first? Who knows. Don't pursue a woman who has a low interest in …
/r/seduction28/08/13 04:48 AM
1

You can't expect a girl to blow off her friends every week just for you. That's pretty selfish. I think you did good and got some good information. You should be pursuing multiple women simultaneously. Spend some time pursuing another girl in the meantime.
/r/seduction28/08/13 02:58 AM
1

agreed.
/r/seduction27/08/13 10:07 PM
1

Good effort. There are still undertones in there of not fully accepting your feelings. Predicting a negative future there was probably not good, and could be the thing that is causing your anxiety. You can't predict what her actions or intentions are going to be. And you don't have to "admit" feeling nervous, because there's nothing "bad" about it. You can reveal it, share it, but don't admit it.
/r/seduction27/08/13 09:36 PM
1

Yes, but, you're still in the frame of "he needs to get that girl". By doing what he did, I think he's no longer in that frame. He doesn't need her, he can just admit feeling nervous and move on without needing her approval. It may not have been "the thing to do to get the girl", but we're past that frame now.
/r/seduction27/08/13 09:20 PM
3

I can tell from your post that you're focusing a lot more on your performance rather than your feelings and this can be screwing you up. When you're with a woman that you really like, your feelings get more intense. If you're with a woman that you don't like as much, you can game her more easily because its easy to suppress your feelings, the anxiety and excitement. I think its better to have total self-acceptance of your nervousness and excitement around these women. Just say "I don't know why …
/r/seduction27/08/13 08:05 PM
29

The way you are evaluating this situation is demoralizing you. You've been walking up to girls... good! You've been opening... good! You've been kinoing and flirting... very good! Walked one of them back to your place... doing pretty fucking well! She sits by herself and then left... aww, I guess that means everything else before that just doesn't "count" does it? One little thing goes wrong and it spoils everything. In cognitive therapy this would be called either a "mental filter" where you dw…
/r/seduction24/08/13 09:11 AM
1

See the discussion here is still about which emotion is best to show. The best emotion is the one that you actually experienced. It's not neediness to show that you were hurt (if he was, I don't know, thats up to him what he actually felt), it's outcome independence, not seeking validation, emotional vulnerability, and risk-taking. I think that's consistent with some of the highest level PUA literature.
/r/seduction23/08/13 03:25 PM
2

Everyone here is saying to pretend to be unaffected by it. This is bad advice from a psychological point of view. You can't suppress your emotions without suffering psychological consequences down the road. Whether you pretend to go on like nothing ever happened, or you ignore her, or keep playing her, they are just all different forms of suppressing your feelings. The only thing to do is don't hide from her how your feelings were hurt by her. Be vulnerable. Let whatever emotion you have be show…
/r/seduction23/08/13 05:02 AM
3

You don't necessarily have to be "seeing" multiple women at the same time, just pursuing multiple women. Don't stop pursuing other women just because you have one who seems into you. That one could not work out for some reason, and then you have others ready that you've already been working on in the meantime. It's like don't put all your eggs in one basket. If you were investing in the stock market, you don't put all your cash into Google, because if Google tanks then you're screwed. But if you…
/r/seduction20/08/13 12:04 AM
1

My advice is you should always be pursuing several different women simultaneously. If one cheats on you, or rejects you, or things aren't going well with one, then it's not as big a deal. You won't be emotionally destroyed if you already have several other women in the wings. I'm with you, just pursuing one woman at a time seems like the right and honorable thing to do, and it is. But for a practical and workable strategy it just makes sense to pursue several at the same time. You don't get comm…
/r/seduction19/08/13 06:40 PM
1

My bad. Yeah, I don't think its him either. Okay, yeah I didn't think any of the info was personally identifiable.
/r/seduction09/08/13 09:08 AM
1

Okay, I found the guy I'm thinking of but he's actually from Australia. Steve Celeste, AKA Toecutter. This is the guy who most closely matches your description. He spoke at the Cliff's List seminar in 2005. If its not him then your guy was probably just some random pickup teacher who followed the community.
/r/seduction08/08/13 07:07 PM
0

There was a PUA who sounded kind of like that but I can't for the life of me remember his PUA name. It was a european guy with an accent I couldn't place, but he just traveled around and never stayed in the same place. He gave a presentation either at the PUA summit or at a David DeAngelo seminar. This was back in like 2007 or 2008. Sorry my memory is so vague. It sounds a lot like this guy, WTF was his name? I looked through the speakers lists for all the old PUA summits and I don't see his nam…
/r/seduction08/08/13 08:58 AM
6

Here's one way of looking at it: say you meet a girl who says she's a vegetarian and doesn't eat meat. Now you come along with your wily powers of persuasion and persuade her to eat a piece of meat. Normally, left to her own devices, she would not have eaten meat, or perhaps when eating with her vegetarian friends she would not have eaten meat. But with you, you've opened up a new side of herself where she's okay with eating meat. Did she lie about being a vegetarian? Well, some people use the t…
/r/seduction28/07/13 10:30 AM
2

It's too easy for someone who didn't go to that college to lie about it. Saying it straight up wont work. Maybe tell a story about something interesting that happened while you were in college, where the locations are integral to the story. You don't have to say the name of the college even, you can say place names near the college and say it happened while you were in college. If she knows anything about that college, she can put the clues together in her own mind and figure out which college y…
/r/seduction21/07/13 04:52 PM
1

You feel sorry because you're not a sociopath. There's only one course of action which is to tell her how you feel, that you've lost interest in her. Otherwise you're like the hot girl who lost interest in you but never told you, leading you on like a bitch. Don't be a bitch.
/r/seduction03/07/13 08:12 PM
1

I agree that the video is a distraction, but it does show a good example of flirting. We've all seen the video on other sites so there's no need to repost it here.
/r/seduction19/06/13 08:35 AM
10

Now that I think about it, every single woman who I have any connection with, I've taught them something. Did not realize it until now. You are right on!
/r/seduction13/06/13 07:17 PM
19

Teaching you to fold a paper crane is enough for you? To me that's simple and normal. Each person will have their own idea about what's unique to them I guess.
/r/seduction13/06/13 07:12 PM
1

Well you're in luck because this is one of those things that therapists deal with most often. Most people go to therapy over relationship issues, whether its in their marriage or their relationship with their father/mother, etc., and this is one of those almost universal issues. I guarantee you this is a legitimate reason to go to therapy and the therapist will be very experienced with this, they hear it from almost everyone. They hear about it a lot because the whole idea of needing to have lov…
/r/seduction03/06/13 09:28 PM
2

Remember, the TED talk said that people who are able to be vulnerable are able to for only one reason, they believe they are worthy of love and belonging. That's what you need to focus on. That's a belief that some people learn in childhood and others don't learn until later. There are many therapeutic techniques to help change your beliefs. You could talk to a therapist, or read a book on cognitive therapy.
/r/seduction02/06/13 07:50 PM
2

I think it's important to realize that those thoughts of self-doubt are all bullshit, truly and utterly bullshit. It's not that you need to delusionally believe that you are the shit, it's that you need to stop delusionally believing that you aren't good enough, or that you can't do it. That's the real delusion. But it feels sooo real! You have the thoughts of self-doubt, and the feeling of self doubt that comes with it makes you buy into it, it completely tricks you into thinking it's real. It'…
/r/seduction28/05/13 07:38 AM
1

I know it is. Just trying to illustrate a point.
/r/seduction26/05/13 07:29 PM
72

Girls tend not to do the whole looking directly at you thing when they're checking you out. Men tend to look very directly straight ahead at one thing, like a hunter or predator. Women just don't do this. Ever notice how you can't find something that you're looking for when it's right in front of your face, but women can find it right away? It's because they look at more of the whole picture, seeing all the details of everything all at once. You could equate this to gathering berries, they can s…
/r/seduction26/05/13 09:04 AM
1

You did a great job but the bad feeling probably comes from all the shitty things you say to yourself in your head. I bet you thought I fucked that up or I looked like an idiot or I'm such a loser… you can use cognitive therapy techniques or just try to notice the thoughts, interrupt them, and counteract them with positive thoughts like I did pretty good for my first approach, or people were impressed by my courage to do that…
/r/seduction28/04/13 06:33 PM
4

I think you're conflating courtesy with level of interest. Someone with a decent level of interest in you and a level of comfort with you might go to the door. Someone who is not that interested (or maybe interested but nervous about displaying interest) may wait in the car. You find it offensive not because it's uncourteous, but because you think not coming to the door means they're not very interested in you. But sometimes they are interested, they might just be too nervous at the time to disp…
/r/seduction07/04/13 07:35 PM
1

I'm sorry but there are piles of research that prove that physical exercise works better at treating depression than antidepressant medication and the relapse rate back into depression is far lower - that means exercise works long-term. The reason people are addicted to exercise is it gives you the exact chemicals that your body needs to function optimally, you literally need it. That's like saying people only breath because they're addicted to it, you have to breath to survive. Having money and…
/r/seduction20/03/13 08:32 PM
16

You've got a great brain there. My scumbag brain constantly reminds me of the rejections.
/r/seduction20/03/13 05:42 PM
1

Yes, you can take anxiety medication but there are serious downsides. It's highly addictive and over time it causes brain damage. Not recommended.
/r/seduction19/03/13 01:34 AM
2

Yes you can absolutely reverse the negative thoughts at any time, but with old age your brain becomes less malleable, and I mean in your 50's and 60's. Your brain is still very young and very plastic (retrainable). Yes you will still have lingering doubts from time to time, but these doubts are not at your core, they are just lingering thoughts just like any other thoughts. Realize that even a thought like "will I ever reverse these negative thoughts?" or "I might always have doubts at my core" …
/r/seduction18/03/13 09:59 PM
13

Let me tell you how fear works and maybe this will help you. The amygdala is a structure in your brain that controls your fight or flight response, your fear response. Information comes in from your five senses and your amygdala scans all of it looking for threats. If it detects a threat it fires off a fear response. Your amygdala is very dumb, partly because it's designed to respond in milliseconds, so it doesn't have time to think things through. That means it makes mistakes, it can make you f…
/r/seduction18/03/13 03:38 PM
7

Please tell us how this book helped you. What has improved?
/r/seduction18/03/13 02:57 PM
6

Being happy all the time is a myth. The sooner you can accept this the better. It's human to feel negative emotions as well as positive, it means everything's working correctly. Paradoxically, you will be much much happier when you learn that you don't have to be happy all the time. You will recover from negative emotions more quickly if you can accept them as normal. Being content with the external circumstances of your life will never bring happiness, that is also a myth. Happiness comes from …
/r/seduction17/03/13 07:52 PM
1

Well if you truly are passionless then that's even worse. You dont have to alter your personality to be more of a jerk, you just have to be radically honest. I am an extremely kind and generous person, but if I don't like how someone looks or how someone acts, or any negative opinion I say say so, and people are often offended. I'm not saying it to be a jerk or to hurt their feelings, I'm saying it because I'm speaking the truth as I see it. There's no personality change in that, it's not artifi…
/r/seduction27/02/13 01:52 AM
3

If you don't care about them then why don't you want to hurt them. Obviously you do care about them then. Are you asking about how to stop caring about them?
/r/seduction26/02/13 05:05 PM
2

Women need to know that you're interested in them. If you have no trouble talking to women it's possible that your complete lack of anxiety is giving them a signal that you don't find them attractive or exciting. If you were attracted to them you might be more nervous. Also if women say you're too nice, it means you're putting on a false image of being an agreeable person. Probably you hide away any so-called negative emotions because you think it's only okay to be happy go lucky all the time. I…
/r/seduction26/02/13 04:26 PM
1

At least you were approaching, which you can be proud of, because a lot of guys can't even get that far. I'm not at the point of doing a lot of direct approaches yet, but I have been slowly trying to work up to it by smiling at people and saying hi. I'm at the point where when I go for a walk around my neighborhood I smile and say hi to just about every second person I see. It has not led to me getting laid from it, but I really enjoy it and it makes me feel really good about myself. So in one w…
/r/seduction24/02/13 06:28 AM
1

I completely understand and agree with you. Everyone says just go out and approach, get rejected, and that's how you get over rejection. It didn't work for me either, it just made things worse. It doesn't work if you don't have a good coping strategy. Some people say that 1 time time out 10 that you don't get rejected is worth it, but I could never let go of those 9 other rejections. The rejections just haunted me and served as proof that I was undesirable (not necessarily unattractive) to women…
/r/seduction23/02/13 09:24 PM
1

The best way out of this is radical honesty if you can handle it (you can). Tell them both exactly how you feel about them even if it hurts their feelings. From reading your post I still can't tell whether you're interested or not interested. You may have conflicting feelings about them, like I appreciate this and this about you but I get angry and annoyed when you do this and this. Make sure to tell them the positive and negative. The truth will set you free because they can't argue with that. …
/r/seduction17/02/13 04:47 AM
1

It's not that you want what you can't have as everyone says here. It's that you really only want something when you've put some investment into it. If a girl is too interested in you, there's no opportunity for you to make an investment and risk in her. If she's not into you at all, then an investment in her is not going to pay off. So it's better if a girl is somewhat interested but not too much... then you have an opportunity to make an investment, which makes you want her more, but also you k…
/r/seduction17/02/13 01:49 AM
-4

Pick any women's magazine on the newsstand.
/r/seduction07/02/13 09:52 AM
3

Honestly yes I do feel some shame about it. It's based on a misconception that as a man I should already know how to do this, and asking for help is demasculating. But that's true for other things beyond seduction, for example men go to doctors less often than women because they feel some shame in having to ask for medical help. I think it's the same concept. But if you can accept that sometimes you feel shame about it and that's okay, realize that feeling shame tricks us into believing that it …
/r/seduction03/02/13 03:22 AM
2

Yes, that's a common thing that people who have social anxiety do. They try to be more social but every time they come away feeling like they did everything wrong because of those thoughts. Here's a simple solution: when you come home after going out, write down in a journal everything that went poorly, then write down everything that went well. A simple list will do. This helps you to notice there's a balance between things that go well and things that don't go well. Every night is a mixed bag …
/r/seduction19/12/12 03:52 AM
2

That's only because I haven't tried to nervously and awkwardly give you a really bad kiss yet, with bad timing and everything. But watch out, I may be so nervous I won't even be able to attempt a kiss, in which case you'd fall even harder for me.
/r/seduction13/12/12 09:47 PM
2

This is a subreddit aimed at people with social anxiety/dating anxiety/intimacy anxiety. Over-thinking things comes with the territory. If you have never experienced anxiety about anything before then you wouldn't be able to empathize.
/r/seduction13/12/12 08:50 PM
5

I'm pretty sure this kissing advice is aimed at after you've already been talking like human beings and the guy is like wow I feel really attracted to this girl and I wish I could kiss her and I'm nervous and don't know what I'm doing type of thing. I don't see how it has anything to do with seeing the woman as a thing.
/r/seduction13/12/12 06:47 PM
4

Are you saying its a turn on for a guy to awkwardly and unskillfully, without much thought or practice, try to put the moves on you? If so, you'd fall crazy in love with me because I'm horrible at this stuff.
/r/seduction13/12/12 06:27 PM
4

This post is teeming with distorted irrational thinking. This is one that could really benefit from some cognitive therapy.
/r/seduction28/10/12 06:46 PM
1

Forgive me for being ignorant, but I thought you can get speech therapy for stuttering.
/r/seduction27/10/12 05:07 AM
4

This is all well and good, but how does someone actually increase their level of belief in themselves? I've heard this all before, and it just becomes another reason to think you don't deserve it. Instead of "I don't deserve it because I'm too short, etc." it becomes "I don't deserve it because I don't believe in myself enough. If only I believed in myself more, then I woud finally deserve it." It just becomes a trap. What if you could see that lack of self-belief as perfectly acceptable, that i…
/r/seduction18/10/12 02:50 AM
2

Yes it is absolutely necessary to touch the person you want to be intimate with. That feeling of awkwardness and uncomfortableness when you touch someone is called intimacy. You can't get to being completely naked with them unless you both can become more comfortable being intimate with each other. That's what kino is for, the feeling uncomfortable and awkward when you do it means you're doing it right. A great thing for you would be to take a ballroom dancing class, or other dance class with bo…
/r/seduction09/10/12 08:49 PM
1

Start smaller. Rather than asking for a date right away, just smile and say hi, how are you today? Or something else along those lines. In that first simple interaction you can start to gauge what her level of interest is in you by how willing she is to keep the conversation going. Just practice this a whole bunch of times, and soon you will start to get a sense for which women are interested in engaging with you. Those would be the good ones to ask for coffee. I know you want to overcome your s…
/r/seduction07/10/12 06:14 PM
2

It takes hard work and you have to start small. If you can't make small talk, then start with smiling. If you can't smile, then start with eye contact. If you can't do eye contact, start with going near a woman. If you can't go near a woman, then start with looking at a woman from afar. Make a list of every action with a woman that you aren't able to do because of anxiety, ranked in order of anxiety. So at the beginning is eye contact all the way down to... taking your clothes off in front of a …
/r/seduction03/10/12 02:00 AM
14

Agreed. People who have social anxiety usually regret going out no matter how well the night goes, because when they come home they tend to fixate on everything that went poorly, and it's harder for them to recall everything that went well. So those people need to go out AND talk to a therapist, or write down what went well, and what didn't go well, so they can have a more rational evaluation of how the night went.
/r/seduction30/08/12 08:03 PM
2

I took a ballroom dancing class, which for some reason I was pretty embarrassed about doing(I don't even like dancing), but it does make a difference to your sense of abundance. The idea there is that they rotate you through about 10 different dance partners as they instruct you. That means you physically interact with 10 different women all in one go. You're nervous and uncomfortable with the first woman, but by the last you've loosened up and are more comfortable and confident. Some of them ar…
/r/seduction12/08/12 06:30 PM
1

Absolutely normal. Like really normal. Like the same as five fingers on each hand, or having two eyeballs, that's how normal it is.
/r/seduction20/07/12 06:32 AM
1

Go and do fun things on your own, the things you would do if you were to invite or be invited to do. Then tell people how much fun you had. If they seem interested in your fun, you can say hey wanna come with me next time, I'll let you know when I'm going. If nobody wants to go it doesnt matter because you know how to have fun without them, it's just that you're having so much fun that you want to share that with other people so they can enjoy having fun too.
/r/seduction10/07/12 09:44 AM
1

Need more details. Starts off super exciting can mean anything, super exciting sex down to super exciting friendly conversation. No idea where your getting stuck.
/r/seduction10/07/12 09:35 AM
1

Every guy feels insufficient in some way at times. Do you realize that even if you had sufficiently natural good looks, you would still find something else to feel insufficient about? Your financial status, your social status, your education level, your job, your personality, your level of skill with women, etc etc it's all never good enough if you can't accept that it's normal to feel Insufficient. A specific physical ugliness is not permanent, you can get your teeth fixed, new wardrobe, hair c…
/r/seduction07/07/12 09:42 AM
1

When someone says "you need to smile more" what they're saying is "the way you are is not okay, you need to be someone else". That's not cool at all. You came up and just said what you observed, without making a judgement about her needing to be different. The way she is is acceptable to you. Also, you probably matched her mood, rather than trying to force her into a different mood. That's called building rapport.
/r/seduction15/06/12 12:37 AM
2

I know, Ive been where you are. That's the same for pretty much every guy. Ive learned to practice self relaxation techniques, and to work on my automatic negative thoughts, like "shell think I'm a creepy stalker if I compliment her." etc etc. those thoughts contribute a great deal to your feelings of anxiety and thus your inability to take action. You can work on challenging those thoughts with cognitive therapy to calm down your anxious feelings.
/r/seduction23/05/12 07:27 AM
14

If you've found yourself unable to approach any women at all you should seek help from a therapist. What happens is when you have too much anxiety, you lose your ability to control your motor functions. You want to approach, but your brain is literally incapable of making you do it at that moment because of how anxiety inhibits motor control. If you are in a depression, you can also selectively lose your memory, so you may have actually met women before and can't readily remember it, or it seems…
/r/seduction22/05/12 04:58 PM
2

Simple. Be better than nice. Be honest, generous, thoughtful, and kind.
/r/seduction16/05/12 05:43 PM
-1

Be yourself – dont run away from your feelings of inadequacy by pretending to be someone else. Own your inadequacy. But whenever you try out new things you expand your sense of who you are. So keep on expanding yourself and finding out who you really are, not the TLDR version of you that you think you are. Don't throw yourself out and replace yourself with someone else. Keep your self, and expand it beyond who you think you are into who you truly are becoming.
/r/seduction11/05/12 06:22 AM
6

All of those anxieties you listed are what are know as "fortune-telling thoughts" in cognitive therapy. They are thoughts that predict a negative outcome in the future. This class of thoughts are responsible for perpetuating feelings of anxiety. It has been shown through functional brain imaging techniques that these kinds of thoughts and anxiety can be caused by too much activity in a part of the brain called the basal ganglia. The basal ganglia is connected with motor control of your muscles, …
/r/seduction28/04/12 10:22 PM
1

I think you needed to be more specific with plans, like we're getting together at x place at y time to do z. Leaving it open ended like that is like asking them to do the planning for you, which is extra work for them and makes it that much harder for them to agree.
/r/seduction17/04/12 09:21 AM
2

"constantly worry" eh? You just have a bit of social anxiety. Your basal ganglia is a bit over active sounds like, so you are not able to control your anxious thoughts even if you wanted to. Check out "change your brain, change your life" by Daniel Amen.
/r/seduction17/04/12 08:51 AM
0

The guys who are showing you interest are not the only guys who are interested in you. They're just the guys who have a low amount of anxiety about showing interest. There are plenty of guys who don't show interest who would love to meet you and date you. The guys who have sex-zoned you are able to do that because they show interest in a lot of women and as a result have many options. However, young women don't realize that these guys are often insincere in their interest, thus you end up being …
/r/seduction09/04/12 06:38 AM
0

Dude, she probably thought you meant how does that feel emotionally, and she said I love you. Anyway, I think you're making a big deal out of this. How is it your place to say that it's not ok for her to feel that way about you? Shes going to feel the way she feels whether she says it or not. It's not really any of your business. If she feels like expressing it, whatever. She can love you as much as she wants, you don't have to love her back.
/r/seduction04/04/12 08:52 AM
1

Yeah but at this point it doesn't matter if he does f-close her or not, he found out this girls level of interest in him. She either would have said fuck off, indicating low interest, or she says shes into it, indicating moderate to high interest. It's a good tool for screening out women who wouldn't be interested anyway. I agree it was high risk, and taking risk builds attraction, but it just comes down to what level of risk you're comfortable with and it's different for everyone at various sta…
/r/seduction20/03/12 08:13 AM
1

You got me.
/r/seduction18/03/12 09:23 AM
1

Your basal ganglia is over active in this situation and you've got to calm it down. You can check out a book on cognitive therapy called Feeling Good. Anxiety is almost always the result of having automatic fortune-telling thoughts, as in you predict that bad things will happen if you touch a girl, and these thoughts just pop up into your mind automatically. Just because you have a thought doesn't mean it's true. Don't believe everything that you think. Work on your negative fortune telling thou…
/r/seduction18/02/12 11:20 AM
3

Did you suggest what specifically to do one day or after work, or specifically when? She's probably thinking about what to do with you after work, or thinking about when she's free to do it. Don't wait for her to make the plans, you'll be waiting forever! Ask her if she would like to join you for a specific activity on a specific date. You're more likely to get a clear answer.
/r/seduction01/02/12 10:18 AM
3

I have this same issue. One bit of advice that I've realized is that you can't set yourself up to risk everything on one girl. Even if you're just saying hi, but pretending in your mind that she is going to be the one special one, that's risking too much. You have to know that she is probably not the one special one, but you're taking the risk anyway, the risk that she might not be the one. What I'm getting at is that if you take too big of a risk and get rejected, its too much, you won't adapt.…
/r/seduction01/02/12 09:57 AM
1

People, especially women generally won't approach you no matter what your style is. It's your job to approach whoever you want to. About your style, you don't want to change it, even though it might help to disarm people, because you associate a lot of positive aspects of yourself with that style. It's important to separate those positive aspects out, and express them through a different outlet. So maybe you see yourself as independent and tough, which you like to express with your style. You ca…
/r/seduction01/02/12 09:33 AM
1

No this isn't a neg, or what a neg is supposed to be. I think he's trying to take the responsibility for never talking to you off of himself and put it on you, like it's your fault that he never had the courage. I mean, if you were so damn intimidating and cold, why did he have a crush on you? Anyway, he's approached you now, so you must not be intimidating and cold anymore. But if you're concerned about it, you should smile more and be more friendly.
/r/seduction28/01/12 08:30 PM
1

There's no empirical way to know exactly what another person is thinking. If you assume the worst, that's feel bad bullshit. If you assume the best, that's feel good bullshit. Either way is bullshit, so better to assume nothing because that's the only non-bullshit way.
/r/seduction19/01/12 09:41 PM
2

Why is it a turn-off for a guy to say he's socially anxious and inexperienced? I can understand that the way he was speaking to you, not listening, and giving too much info about himself would be a turn-off. But for a guy to sincerely put his vulnerabilities out there... I'd always thought that would be a turn-on, maybe only to the right kind of person or right timing?
/r/seduction16/01/12 08:59 PM
1

I can't say for sure whether that's the same thing as a neg or not. But I do recall a study that found women were most attracted to men who they couldn't tell whether the man was interested in them or not, ie giving mixed signals. He was definitely doing that, though I don't know whether he came across as doing it intentionally to try to get you interested. The giveaway might have been that you don't have belly fat, when he said you did. A sign that he's not giving honest interest and honest dis…
/r/seduction15/12/11 10:45 PM
7

"Who lies more? Bosses or employees?"
/r/seduction11/11/11 09:26 AM
5

For me personally I overreact to rejection. It's pretty embarrassing. And I know that because I overreact to rejection, I'd rather not approach because it's going to be messy, I'm going to say mean things, get upset, etc. My head is going to spin with negative thoughts and I'm going to spin into a depression. By not approaching, I get to avoid going into that kind of depression and embarrassment. I've heard many times that what's supposed to happen is that with enough rejection you eventually de…
/r/seduction19/10/11 12:45 AM
3

The HB9-10 ivory tower is due more to the fact that they get hit on more often, not your level of attractiveness relative to theirs. She's got stuff to do and she somehow has to manage all those approaches every day. You have to consider that she's probably also been hit on by plenty of really attractive guys and gotten bored of those, too, because looks are not always equal to your emotional maturity and being able to connect and get on well with people. So with 9s and 10s, it's a numbers game,…
/r/seduction18/09/11 10:14 AM
2

One way is to overcome it by progressive desensitization. Pick a goal that is challenging for you, but not too hard, like maybe just smiling at girls, or saying "hi" to girls. When you get so used to that, that it becomes boring, then move on to starting light conversation with girls, and then move on from there. Go in small increments. Another way is by using mental techniques like self-hypnosis, visualization, and cognitive behavioral therapy. One gem of advice I've heard recently is that you …
/r/seduction14/09/11 05:12 AM
2

Ok yes, some skills do still still apply in marriages. But overall different skills are required in marriage than are required in dating. Meeting new strangers is wholly different than re-seducing a woman that you've been with for years. You do still have to seduce your wife, it's just a different game. You know what I mean? You're not still out there playing the field.
/r/seduction19/08/11 09:41 PM
2

It's very simple. The skillset needed for meeting women and dating is a completely different skillset needed for keeping an LTR and marriage. Once you're married, it's a shame that you have to throw out all of your seduction skills and never use them again. But that's what you have to do. You say it's important to form emotional connections with women. However, forming a strong emotional connection first, without having had any physical contact or flirting, is going about things in the wrong ord…
/r/seduction19/08/11 07:22 PM
0

Girlfriend is totally different than marriage. Please recognize the difference. Now, if the girl is your best friends girlfriend, that's a totally different matter. You risk upsetting your friendships and social support. But if the boyfriend is some guy who you have no connection to, not your boss, coworker, etc., and they are not married -- not fully committed and interdependent of each other for life, then GAME ON. You don't know, the guy could be a complete tool who has already cheated on her…
/r/seduction19/08/11 01:04 AM
3

Meditation has been proven to increase non-reactiveness. Particularly, in people who have been meditating the longest, they measured their "startle response" when exposed to sudden loud noises. They don't flinch, nothing shows up at all in their heartrate. Everyone has a startle response, but you can decrease it with meditation. That would suggest that non-reactivity is about mindfulness and awareness. When you're reactive you're caught up in your own thoughts, not in the present moment. When yo…
/r/seduction14/08/11 06:53 PM
3

There's recent research that shows that getting lots of external validation makes people assholes, less empathetic, more selfish, etc. They call it dependent self esteem, because your self-esteem is dependent on what people think of you. So winning an award, or getting validation from women, making lots of money are all give you dependent self-esteem, making you more of an asshole. On the other side of that there's independent self-esteem. You get that more from things that are within your own c…
/r/seduction11/08/11 08:29 AM
1

I recommend out in the parking lot. You know, near the little shopping carts they got.
/r/seduction25/07/11 01:19 AM
3

My argument for why to learn game is this, and it comes from positive psychology: Some guys are naturally good with women, some guys are not. That's self-evident to anybody whether you are a natural or not. Some people are more optimistic and cheerful, some people are more pessimistic and depressed. A cheerful person might say "all you need to do is be optimistic and happy." Maybe the happy person came from wealth, a happy family, good education, good social support, while the pessimistic person…
/r/seduction11/07/11 01:05 AM
2

Wow, I'm a good guesser. People like her are going to be really hard to deal with in a relationship. But, it goes both ways. You have to bring up conflicts first, in order for her to feel safe bringing them up with you. That's kind of what all the teasing and negging is about in pickup - it's creating little superficial conflicts between you on purpose, so you cope with the conflict, and through the experience it creates this sort of trust and connection so that you both know that you can handle…
/r/seduction31/05/11 11:52 PM
1

It just goes to show that she was avoiding conflict by not telling you the truth. That's what I'm saying, is that avoiding conflict leads to the death of the relationship. In this case, it was kind of like her lack of skill that ended it, she avoided conflict with you. but still, you need to set a good example by bringing up little conflicts before they snowball, so there's some trust and psychological safety to explore some of the bigger conflicts. I bet she had a little conflict with you, avoi…
/r/seduction31/05/11 06:32 PM
1

Relationships that last have a certain ratio of conflict to harmony, like 20% conflict and 80% harmony. If you were perfect and had a perfect relationship that means your relationship will die fast. You need at least 20% disharmony. Trying to be more perfect is going in the wrong direction. You need to be less perfect. It's counterintuitive, but it's been observed scientifically and it's one of the most accurate predictors of relationship breakup - too much harmony or too much disharmony, not th…
/r/seduction31/05/11 09:51 AM
1

Tal Ben-Shahar's books and lectures on happiness and positive psychology are the best I've ever come across. It's the same stuff you'll find in any community inner game resource, but he backs up everything with rigorous scientific validation, so you're not left wondering whether it's a bunch of BS or not(because some inner game advice out there is BS). Visualization, goal setting, power of beliefs, relationships, self esteem, cognitive therapy, physical health, and perfectionism are the topics c…
/r/seduction29/05/11 04:47 PM
2

I could talk all day about this. Simply put, yes your actions are what matter. But your opinion of yourself has nothing to do with confidence (that's called self-esteem, a different concept). Confidence is knowing that bad things can potentially happen, but you will live through it and be ok in the end. The way you develop that is by taking action when you feel afraid, so you learn that you can feel your fears and still be ok. You say why don't you judge people on their accomplishments and virtu…
/r/seduction27/05/11 08:58 AM
15

This is a perfect example of how this seduction stuff is not just about getting chicks, its about LIFE! Have one! If computers is boring to you, WHY?? ARE?? YOU?? DOING IT??? Do something that when people ask you what you do, you are genuinely excited and proud to speak about it. And I'm not talking about be a racecar driver because every else thinks it's exciting, I'm talking about be an astronomer because everyone else thinks it's weird, but you fucking love it and it makes you want to get up …
/r/seduction20/05/11 08:15 AM
2

It's not the event itself that caused this, it's your interpretation of the event. Without realizing it, you interpreted this event in a negative way: that it happened because of you, and that this is something that will always happen to you. That's the meaning you attached to it, without knowing how to attach a more optimistic meaning to it. First of all, having something like that happen is obviously humiliating and hurtful. It's a horrible thing to do to someone else, nobody should ever do th…
/r/seduction19/05/11 05:50 AM
1

It can be a sign of Aspergers. But it can also be an exaggeration brought on by feelings of depression. One of the best ways to improve your emotional intelligence is through journaling and writing about your emotions. Write about things that happen in your life, especially traumatic or peak experiences, and write about exactly which emotions you remember feeling. This trains you to be able to sort out and identify all the various emotions. You can also do cognitive behavioral therapy. Edit: you…
/r/seduction18/05/11 10:57 PM
2

I love when people "call" bullshit. As if "calling" it somehow makes you right. And "loving" to see their stats, as if their stats are being kept secret so their obvious flaws can't be revealed. LOL
/r/seduction15/05/11 10:26 PM
1

I'd like to add more nutritional goodies. Coq10, magnesium, b vitamins, betaine, folate, methionine, and antioxidants all support neurotransmitter regulation. I've had a noticeable decrease in social anxiety after starting on these.
/r/seduction14/05/11 09:24 AM
0

Antidepressant meds have evidence supporting that they have a high relapse rate and sometimes placebo is more effective. You really believe FDA approval is evidence of any kind of quality or efficacy?? Get your head out of the sand. Exercise, meditation, and therapy I agree have much evidence of effectiveness. St johns wort is am excellent alternative to taking meds. No harm done, even if ineffective, the placebo effect will give greater results than pharmaceuticals.
/r/seduction14/05/11 09:19 AM
3

Before it's too late. Ahahahaha. Ok, seriously, I've been talking to my therapist about the same issues. What we both really need to do is to come to our own conclusion about whether it's ok to express sexual desire. You got accused of sexual harassment in fifth grade, someone else has decided for you what your opinion of sexuality is. That it's not ok to express, it must be kept secret. It's stuck with you in your unconscious. Write down what your own conscious opinion of sexuality is, whether …
/r/seduction13/05/11 05:18 AM
3

It's real simple and there's research to back this up. The more you get success, the more you get a certain kind of self-esteem called dependent self-esteem. That means your self esteem is coming almosts exclusively from external factors -- getting with all these hot women. As you gain more success, you come to rely on getting with hot chicks in order to feel good about yourself, at the exclusion of other sources of healthier self esteem. So, it's not the PUA mindset per se that's messed up your…
/r/seduction09/05/11 12:14 AM
7

It's simple. You have a girlfriend now. You're looking at it from the other side of the fence. There are completely different skills required to maintain a relationship, which are completely counter to and opposite from skills needed to meet and date new women. So naturally you're taking a negative view of the community. The skills taught by the community are not necessary for you anymore. Thanks for sharing.
/r/seduction05/05/11 02:59 PM
3

Wow, tyler lost a lot of weight
/r/seduction21/04/11 06:47 AM
0

It's not that he's appearing unconfident on purpose to prove a point. It's that he's not trying to appear more confident than how he actually feels. You could say he's being himself, which is exactly what the whole talk was about. This talk is not about how to be confident, it's got nothing to do with that. It's about how to be yourself and just go on and do it anyways even though you feel uncomfortable, unconfident, and don't believe that you're an attractive person.
/r/seduction19/04/11 12:19 AM
2

I would upvote two times if I could! I'd like to add to the answer you gave to the last question, coming from a positive psych perspective. He said when he is himself, that it seems like he gets more negative reactions than positive reactions, and that getting positive reactions reinforces his self-esteem. Getting positive reactions only reinforces your dependent sense of self-esteem. This is the kind of self-esteem that depends upon what others think of you, your prestige and recognition from o…
/r/seduction18/04/11 11:09 PM
2

You guys are totally missing the point. The point is that it's okay to appear unconfident, uncomfortable, stumbling sometimes. That's why so many guys don't approach, because they think it has to be a perfectly confident performance, and that's too much pressure. It's better to just go out and do it even if you feel uncomfortable and stumble sometimes, and that's exactly what he was demonstrating in his presentation. In that sense, it was a perfectly congruent presentation.
/r/seduction18/04/11 10:39 PM
2

If opening is too much for you, you can set a goal to just smile at an attractive woman, or simply say a friendly hello as you walk on by. Your goals should be challenging and not too easy, but not so hard that you get overloaded with anxiety. Pick a goal that is right for your level.
/r/seduction16/04/11 08:57 AM
6

There's a difference between misogyny and dominance. Being dominant over another person doesn't mean you hate their gender. In this case I can see being sexually dominant as an act of love, when both parties respond sexually to taking on the dominant/submissive roles. There is a difference between fantasy and reality, but in this case fantasy exists inside of reality when these fantasies have a direct impact on human sexual arousal.
/r/seduction11/04/11 05:46 PM
0

You should never use two spaces after a period. That was a rule that only applied to mono-spaced fonts on early typewriters. Computers automatically put the correct amount of space after a period when using one space. From Wikipedia: Most modern literature on typography says that double spacing is wrong,[18] but some non-typographical sources indicate that it could be used on a typewriter or with a monospaced font.[19] The majority of style guides opt for a single space after terminal punctuatio…
/r/seduction22/03/11 04:04 AM
1

About the antidepressants, the studies show that with medication and exercise combined, there is still a high relapse rate, although not quite as bad as with medication alone. Exercise by itself is still significantly better than medication plus exercise. So yeah, keep that exercise going and you may be able to avoid the relapse. Exercise by itself will help only to the extent of bringing you back up to your so-called base-line level of happiness. There are other natural ways to raise your base-…
/r/seduction17/03/11 04:21 AM
1

I highly do not recommend this approach, as effective as it may be in the short term. For antidepressants like Lexapro, the relapse rate is very high. That means within a few months of stopping taking it, you will almost assuredly go right back to being as depressed as before. On the other hand, compared with exercise alone, it takes longer before you get the antidepressant effect from exercise, but your relapse rate is extremely low, and you get the same or better effect as compared to lexapro.…
/r/seduction16/03/11 01:40 AM
9

Show her your driver's license or ID photo emphasizing how silly/stupid or sexy you look in the photo, then ask to see her lame DMV photo. Option #2: Challenge her by saying you think maybe she's not old enough for you, and your rule is you only date girls over 18. Option #3: Straight honesty: simply state your intentions and your apprehension. State that you're interested in her/find her sexy or cute, and state that your worry is that she might be underage. I prefer option #2.
/r/seduction21/08/09 12:43 AM
1

Getting one good suggestion out of six aint bad.
/r/seduction10/08/09 06:55 PM
6

You suck at life -- compared to what, or who? Sucking at something is a comparison, and if you suck then you're comparing your skills at life to someone else who sucks less. Stop living your life in comparison to others. Compare yourself to the you of yesterday. If you suck a tiny bit less today than you did yesterday, then you WIN! Each day is a chance to win and it's easy - just suck a tiny bit less each day.
/r/seduction10/08/09 05:29 AM
1

Check out the SF lair, there's tons going on all the time. Project SF is run by Lance Mason and the Pickup 101 crew. They have frequent high-profile pua guest speakers for cheap, though often it's really about selling product. The lair forums are the place to find your wingmen.
/r/seduction07/08/09 07:20 AM
2

Yes, that's exactly right. Or better, just say "I'm hungry and I'd like to get to know you better" and leave out the rest to give her a chance to respond. If she doesn't suggest going to eat somewhere, say "I want you to come with me to get food." or whatever it is that you want at that moment. Share your desire rather than asking for her compliance. If she refuses you can share that it's making you angry, or whatever emotional response you have from that. Sincere communication => trust => extre…
/r/seduction07/08/09 07:05 AM
1

You're drawing a lot of conclusions from what happened. Most, if not all, conclusions end up being totally BS anyways. There is no way to extrapolate what the other person is thinking by their actions, whether they gave an email or said no to getting food. The answer is simple: she felt more comfortable giving you her email, and the other girl didn't want to go eat. That's all. Conversely, they cannot accurately extrapolate what you're thinking by your actions: asking for a phone number, asking …
/r/seduction06/08/09 11:44 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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