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ecofriendlythrowaway Archive

View 13 posts and 115 comments by ecofriendlythrowaway on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
23

ecofriendlythrowaway/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/14 02:27 PM
21

ecofriendlythrowaway/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/14 06:05 PM
18

ecofriendlythrowaway/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/14 01:25 PM
13

ecofriendlythrowaway/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/14 12:44 AM
12

ecofriendlythrowaway/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/15 09:56 PM
11

WBBecofriendlythrowaway/r/MensRights08/04/15 04:55 PM
10

ecofriendlythrowaway/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/15 12:23 AM
8

ecofriendlythrowaway/r/MarriedRedPill17/12/14 01:41 PM
7

ecofriendlythrowaway/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/14 03:17 PM
7

ecofriendlythrowaway/r/askTRP20/11/14 11:42 PM
3

ecofriendlythrowaway/r/MarriedRedPill16/12/14 04:50 PM
2

ecofriendlythrowaway/r/MarriedRedPill22/12/14 08:22 PM
1

ecofriendlythrowaway/r/MarriedRedPill22/12/14 10:56 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

So I should tell her... That will never be the solution.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/15 07:21 PM
1

"...so we should try doing it." Yeah, when I read that in the OP, my initial reaction was, they should be having sex right now. She's saying "Take me now."
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/15 06:59 PM
1

I highly recommend taking measurements and pictures. The scale is not a reliable reflection of progress, as it doesn't care where the weight comes from (muscle or fat). There are weeks when I think I've lost 10 pounds but haven't lost anything. When I look at my measurements, though, I'm down a few inches. It can be depressing and a motivation killer to work hard and not see the scale move over a few weeks, or worse, move in the wrong direction.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/15 06:38 PM
2

Right, I meant saying to her something like, "say please" or "that's not how you ask nicely."
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/15 01:34 AM
1

Love it. My only comment would be that you've said the "please" for her. Make her say please. Make her ask you nicely.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/04/15 09:37 PM
1

I never knew Quagmire was a lefty....or he just loves "The Stranger."
/r/MarriedRedPill16/04/15 07:00 PM
3

This question may be better suited for /r/fitness, /r/exercise, /r/weightlifting, etc. In my experience, it evens itself out over time. But I'm far from an expert. I'm sure you can also google this.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/04/15 06:13 PM
1

Yes, please leave it up. I think it will be helpful for others. Also, though I've got a pretty good handle on it (spend less than you make), there's always room for improvement.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/15 02:46 PM
2

Maybe taking back the finances isn't for you, then. Being in control of the finances actually helps me feel less worried or stressed, especially now that we have a budget. Unexpected $200 car repair? No big deal, we've been budgeting for that for the last 6 months. $1,000 medical bill? Good thing we've been putting away $50/month for the last year. When you say your finances are completely fine, maybe they are. We never carry a credit card balance, my student loans are manageable, we make a good…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/15 02:42 PM
1

I think you're both right. Though I strive for perfection, I never expect it. Perfection is an impossibility. "Perfect is the enemy of good." Constant improvement is more what I'm aiming for.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/15 02:14 PM
2

Exactly the same as my wife. "I'm taking care of it" or "I've got it under control" seem to upset her more, but then when I pull through, I can sense her panties moistening. She's started to micromanage less, but still has the occasional flare-up.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/15 02:12 PM
1

Thank you for your input. The two of us are very frugal to begin with. We actually compete in getting the best deals (is it obvious yet that we're Jewish?). I've been a subscriber to PF subreddits for a while, and am constantly looking through them. That being said, I'm looking for a new book to read now that I'm done with the sidebar. Any recommendations re: personal finance?
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/15 02:11 PM
2

Excellent points, thank you for your input. What would you have done about the little digs she threw at me? At this point in the journey, it's so early that I basically just ignore them. I figure that the more of a captain I become, the less she'll pull this shit. In regards to the precursory explanation, what would you recommend? Should I have sat down with her beforehand and said, "Listen, this is our financial situation now. This is where I want it to be. This is how we're going to get there.…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/15 02:08 PM
1

Getting your kid to sleep is the ultimate opportunity to show some alpha. In my experience, moms are way more likely to cave when the kid starts crying/won't stop crying. This is when you hold strong. Hold Mom in your arms, "Baby is fine. She needs to learn to put herself to sleep. She can do it." Etc., etc. This book changed our lives: http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0449004023. Our little girl sleeps so well now, takes regular naps, and overall is a much, much happier…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/15 12:07 PM
2

This is an excellent post. While my kid is still too young for disciprine, the aspect of doing beta things in an alpha way was incredibly enlightening. Kudos.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/15 12:04 PM
2

According to Athol Kay (and I tend to agree), you should be a mix of alpha and beta qualities, though for now it seems you should concentrate way more on alpha.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/03/15 07:05 PM
1

There's no hate. I'm very far from hating my wife. But, I'm still patiently waiting for your response on your explanation of the success I, and many other members of this community, have experienced. EDIT: In fact, the more I think about it, I get angry/upset with my wife less often, I raise my voice less often, I'm sarcastic toward her less often; I'm more engaged in ensuring the family unit is well-preserved, I'm more active in doing housework, not for her benefit, but because I want to live i…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/15 08:41 PM
3

In short, I'm letting her potential emotions dictate my actions and feelings, as opposed to doing what I need to and want to do.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/15 08:33 PM
1

Ehhh, to me that sounds like caring too much about what his wife wants/thinks/acts like. If my 5 year old (I don't have one yet, just surmising, and I'm using that age specifically because only 5 year olds would do this) were to do this, I think I would more likely ignore the behavior completely. I think commenting on it, pointing it out, etc., is only giving her the attention she's craving by engaging in "ninja techniques." Since you've taken on the role of food preparation though, try cutting …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/15 08:29 PM
2

Well, according to RES, I've now upvoted 95 of your posts, and this illustrates exactly why that number is so high. Your posts are always insightful and eerily applicable to my life and experiences. Getting from "I want to pass her shit-tests. How am I going to pass her shit tests?" to "I don't give a shit about her shit tests" has proven difficult for me, mainly because, well, when I say no I feel guilty. But thanks to that book, the other books on the sidebar, and your contributions, I've cert…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/15 06:43 PM
3

I would be very happy if my daughter ends up with a guy like me. Her thinking that she lords over her husband is a recipe for disaster. A guy who is constantly trying to improve, doesn't take unnecessary shit from people, and is assertive enough to go after what he wants? Sounds like a good son in law to me.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/15 10:30 PM
3

Haha yep. That's exactly what I meant. Or a wife who has respected me more over the past few weeks than she has since I met her, an increase in quantity and quality of sex life, and, except for a few random shit tests here and there, an overall more peaceful home. Is it that hard to accept that, while not socially "correct" in an overly feminized society, the theory actually works? Keep on hamstering.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/15 09:33 PM
1

http://stronglifts.com/5x5/
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/15 05:54 PM
1

To each their own. The two don't need to be mutually exclusive. Secondly, the more muscle you have, the faster your metabolism, making weight loss even easier. I highly recommend signing up for MyFitnessPal, setting a goal, and putting in EVERYTHING you eat. When you've reached your allotted calories for the day, you're done. No more eating. I've been using it for about 6 months now, jogging regularly (very very slowly, but it doesn't matter), and doing a program called 5x5. I've lost 30 pounds.…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/15 05:44 PM
1

Just want to echo what everyone else has been saying. I've been adopting more and more RP philosophy in my marriage for a few months now (maybe less), and it's been working wonders. I've also been hitting the gym, and my wife's been ogling me because of it. There's no replacement for hard work, and the gym is the first place to start. If you need help finding a routine, there are a lot of resources available, I'm also happy to help. Add The Rational Male to your list as well. After I finished NM…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/15 05:19 PM
2

The hamstering is strong with this one. I'm just wondering how you explain results to yourself.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/15 02:12 PM
1

Wombat! So nice to see you again. I don't know what they say about me and I don't give a shit.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/15 02:10 PM
1

Thanks for your reply. As I said in response to another comment above, I'm only providing small snapshots that miss the in-between times. Also, see edits to OP.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/15 04:31 AM
2

Check out my edits. Thanks for your input.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/15 04:30 AM
1

I hear what you're saying, and agree with most of it, but A) check out my edits, and B) the past few weeks have been all good things. Very few small shit tests, lots of happy fun time, and lots of love afterward.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/15 04:30 AM
2

She's not, only 5 months. That's part of the reason I want to establish the family structure now. The way my wife and her sister talk to their very blue pill father is abhorrent, and its all a reflection of how their mother treats him.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/15 01:42 AM
2

At first I thought this was a dig at me. Then I realized the ambiguity in my statement. Yeah, I meant, a high proportion of us MRP users got married to women who...."
/r/MarriedRedPill23/12/14 05:51 PM
1

Hah, yeah, that's exactly what I meant.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/12/14 05:50 PM
1

Thanks for your input. I've always heard that I'm more likely to reach my goals when I put concrete, measurable values on them. Why do you think it's better to abstract them?
/r/MarriedRedPill23/12/14 04:05 PM
3

I mean, I'm not advocating never consulting your wife on a big purchase like that, and it also matters if you're the primary breadwinner, but I try to listen to what my wife has to say, and use it as advice for me to make my own decision, rather than the final word. For instance, I'm planning a pretty big vacation that's going to significantly eat into our savings account. I'm not just going to book that without okaying it with her. On the other hand, I bought a pair of shoes recently that, in t…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/12/14 07:58 PM
2

Exactly. It's a lot harder to internalize than to say, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes. I've found that the easiest way to get started was to spend money on things I wanted without asking her, or running it by her first. If I want something, and I can afford it, I buy it. That's not to say you should just go out spending all your money on useless junk. A captain always has the good of his family at the forefront of his decision-making.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/12/14 07:44 PM
2

"Out." "I don't have the time or the energy to stay here and listen to you bicker." "To the gym." No response. These are all ones I've used, with varying degrees of success. The main thing I'm noticing, though, is that you care too much what her response will be. Just go, for you. Do what you need to do to be the best you. The rest will follow.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/12/14 07:17 PM
2

This is a fucking EPIC response.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/12/14 06:06 PM
1

I'm having a very similar experience. First off, /u/strategos_autokrator is the man. Secondly, when my wife does things like that (waits until I sit down to ask for a cup of water while she's breastfeeding so I really have no choice), I do them, but while I'm up, I find something else to do before I get her the water. For instance, I'll go to the bathroom (even if I don't have to go to the bathroom), make myself a sandwich, pour myself a glass of water and then pour her one, any little thing tha…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/12/14 06:05 PM
2

except for the Captain/FO arrangement How did that conversation go for you? My wife is very quickly getting the picture re: how things are changing, and her response so far has been excellent. However, if I ever brought it out in the open, she would go nuclear. If I ever suggested that I was the captain and she was my FO, there'd be shit tests upon shit tests upon shit tests. Can you elaborate on how that conversation might go?
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/14 05:32 PM
3

When you are no longer welcome is the day I no longer will feel welcome. Not allowing women to contribute, especially RP wives? F that noise.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/14 05:23 PM
2

Yes, please do. I should specify that any time you find yourself saying, "if there is interest," you can rest assured that I am interested.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/14 04:48 PM
7

I've started ignoring my wife's condescending comments. As /u/strategos_autokrator mentioned, I think reading through "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty" would do you very well. It's on the sidebar. Only you are your own judge. If you believe you're beta, then you're beta. If you believe you're alpha, then actions will follow those beliefs, and you'll be more alpha. Also, a few things I like to constantly keep in mind. I can't control what my wife does, I can only control my response to her. If she's…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/14 02:14 PM
1

Haha yeah, if it had been heavy lifting, I'd have done it in a heartbeat.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/14 11:33 AM
3

I know, and normally I would have. But a) I hadn't seen my daughter all day and knew she was going to sleep shortly, and b) the fact that she volunteered to do it and then as soon as her mother left, "asked" me to do it was not acceptable in my book. She could've asked nicely from the get-go. Also, these were not heavy bags. They were 2 bags that were easily carried by her. This was her, again, making a mountain out of a molehill.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/14 02:49 AM
1

Yes, please do!
/r/MarriedRedPill17/12/14 06:10 PM
1

As I don't need to constantly be doing all of the things she previously asked/told me to do, I presume. Good point. I meant a lot of work on myself and building/maintaining my frame.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/12/14 05:27 PM
2

Haha, I just noticed your flair. I stand by my statement.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/12/14 04:03 PM
2

Wow, maintaining frame amid that storm must've been pretty difficult. I must say, though, your posts have been inspirational for me. Wish I could buy you a beer or 12.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/12/14 03:56 PM
1

What was your gigantic shit test? Did you post a FR about it? If so, can you direct me to it?
/r/MarriedRedPill17/12/14 03:42 PM
2

Excellent point about how my time is just as important. The one thing I had trouble with, though, is that she did ask me nicely, albeit after she implicitly volunteered me. I felt bad saying no (WISN,IFG), but I wanted to be with my daughter, and didn't feel the need to explain that. She's also someone who's very used to always getting what she wants, whether it be from her parents growing up, the store clerk as a result of her batting her adorable puppy eyes, or me as a result of her showing me…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/12/14 03:27 PM
3

That's a good way of looking at it. Still frustrating as shit though. "Oh, my husband said no to me? The most appropriate thing to do now is throw a temper tantrum and wave our baby in his face haphazardly."
/r/MarriedRedPill17/12/14 03:11 PM
2

Very good point. F-ing sharks, the lot of them.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/12/14 03:10 PM
-1

One of the things I've really been working on lately is giving myself high fives, so to speak. When I have a great day at the gym, I look in the mirror and say, wow, I f-ing kicked ass today. When I got my review and bonus, my first thought was, nice job, Ecofriendly. You knocked this one out of the park. Yeah, my second thought was usually, "My wife is going to love this shit." But making it my second thought has been an improvement, and hopefully I'll learn to soon make that a non-thought, and…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/12/14 03:07 PM
4

She is usually much smarter about this, would never put our baby in harm's way just to prove a point, but I think this new power structure is really scaring her. That's fine with me, as I let it get to this point, and it's up to me to turn things around, for me, for her, and for our daughter.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/12/14 02:44 PM
1

I have to admit, I felt pretty good about the way I handled it, but wanted some feedback. Other than me coming here to look for advice, what makes you say that I don't trust myself yet? Or is this just a natural result of this being new to me? I'll admit, I don't fully trust myself yet, but just want to know if anything I did gave off that impression to her.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/12/14 02:43 PM
4

Thanks for your advice. I'm honored to be the subject of your first post.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/12/14 02:09 PM
1

It sounds like you bounced back nicely, though. I wish I had read this before last night, as a post I am going to share in a little bit will make clear. It's incredible what maintaining frame can accomplish. Also, congrats on the bonus.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/12/14 01:18 PM
2

I obviously don't know what was going on in your marriage, but good on you for recognizing that marital problems aren't just one-sided, as both husbands and wives in dead bedroom marriages are apt to do. MRP incorporates some RP tactics and philosophies, but they are in no way the same thing. As I've tried to make clear, MRP is, first and foremost, about being a better person, and doing that through constant self-improvement and reflection. Only when a man has a firm grasp on that can he lead a …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/14 12:07 PM
2

Are you talking about The Red Pill or Married Red Pill? They're two completely different subs, and two mostly different schools of thought. All of this seems like an awful lot of ways to avoid thinking about what you were doing wrong that drove him to try Red Pill or to look up how to change the relationship. Obviously he was unhappy with something.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/14 02:32 AM
4

I have to agree with this. I know it's extremely beta, but I'd imagine your wife is going to be in some dire need of comfort.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/14 09:33 PM
2

Which sources are you referring to? The message re: financial shit tests is supposed to be, "I earned this money, and I'll spend it however I damn well please," in as many words or less. Granted, also part of being a captain is recognizing that your family is your crew, and your crew is your first priority, so spending money you don't have on things you don't need is not how one should damn well please. He didn't follow the rules. Nothing he did can be found in any of the five books from the sid…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/14 09:31 PM
2

What I find interesting is that she hasn't already tried to up her SMV. You say that you've started losing your attraction to her. Is that evident to her? I don't like dread game so much in a marriage, but in this situation, it seems like she needs to know that if she doesn't start to shape up, she'll be shipped out.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/14 08:37 PM
1

K, no problem.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/14 06:29 PM
2

Sounds like you could really use a read through of "When I say No, I feel Guilty" from the side bar. In short, she doesn't get to be the judge of your character and the decisions you make. Only you can be the judge of yourself and your own actions. Much easier said than done, but I'm only on chapter 3 and already have noticed some good improvement and some excellent points.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/14 06:25 PM
2

Haha, I was thinking the same thing, but he was being too awesome for me to comment. So....thanks for being that guy so I didn't have to be.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/14 06:15 PM
5

Not sure this addresses your issue, but an observation. I never interpreted MRP sex advice as saying that you shouldn't ever try to please your wife. When you're actually doing PIV, then it seems you shouldn't care about how it feels for your wife, mainly because when you stop caring about her, the sex is just better. You're more assertive, give it to her harder, are more like the male lion she craves. That doesn't mean that you can't focus on her either before or after actual PIV though. With t…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/14 05:24 PM
2

Haha, and again, you go above and beyond to help. Thanks a lot for all your help, man. I look forward to many fruitful interactions in the future.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/14 05:10 PM
2

Admittedly, I know very little about the red pill, and I'm new to married red pill. However, in my limited experience, it has become abundantly obvious that strictly adhering to the red-pill playbook in a marriage will get you nowhere fast, and really just makes you an a-hole. I'll try to dissect each point you brought up and explain why I don't think it's true MRP behavior: I don't like being told I am testing him when I politely make reasonable requests. First off, if he were following MRP adv…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/14 05:02 PM
2

Explain how I was out of line. Secondly, I'm not her child. I'm her husband. I'm a grown man. The fact that she's been treating me like a child is what I'm trying to fix. Since, admittedly, it's a result of me acting like a child in certain respects, I'm bettering myself so as to eliminate those behaviors. That is the true lesson of Married Red Pill. I'm not trying to change her behavior or who she is. I'm trying to change myself in a way that elicits better responses. If it works, awesome. If n…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/14 11:14 AM
2

Thanks for your opinion. Baby has already been left at the fire department instead of being home with two parents who love her more than anything in the world and would do anything for her.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/14 11:11 AM
4

What you described is not Red Pill behavior. I don't think anyone who is actually being listened to in that sub would recommend that your husband act like he did. It's hard to be a captain when you're unemployed and jerking off while you're supposed to be watching the kids. One of the first things I've learned is that I have to be a better person because I want to be better and demand better of myself. I don't know what your husband was reading, but it sounds like he was reading The Asshole's Gu…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/14 11:08 AM
1

Right. I think the past few days have shown her that I'm not nearly as afraid of it as she is, but maintaining this frame around my baby will be difficult.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/14 07:40 PM
2

Yeah, I know....Not really sure how to deal with that besides making it seem like I don't care about our baby, which is as far from the truth as possible, and would make me a terrible father.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/14 07:12 PM
3

Hmmm...as to your point about the emergency, she could've left a message one out of the 7 times she called. Or, she could've texted me. Or, she could've emailed me. I know when it's an emergency. All forms of communication are slammed in an emergency. I think at this point, yes, some aspects of her latest emails are comfort tests, which is why I told her we'd talk when I get home. But everything until now, and even much of the emails, has been a power play. And as someone point out above, "the w…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/14 05:56 PM
2

I understand what you're saying, but our kid is only 4 months old. And while I'm okay, at this point, with having a wife who is upset with me for a few weeks, I'm not okay with divorce, at least not yet. On the other hand, my SMV is much higher than hers right now, and I think deep down she knows that. She would be a single mother, still desperately trying to take off baby weight. I've lost 40 pounds over the past year, have started putting on muscle, have a good job and dress (reasonably) well.…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/14 05:51 PM
5

Thanks a lot. Also, I feel like a FUCKING BOSS when I'm maintaining frame. It's incredible how confident and good about myself I've felt the past few weeks.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/14 02:48 PM
2

Excellent point. I will respond with, "We'll talk when I get home from work."
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/14 02:46 PM
4

And, the truth is, my main goal here is to just make myself a better person. I've realized through this that I'm not getting out of life what I want to get out of life, both personally and professionally. In order to get what I want, I'm in control. I'm the only one who has the power. Only I can prevent forest fires.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/14 02:43 PM
3

Haha this is the worst advice I've seen yet. "Oh, you guys are having a power struggle? Just end it!" I'm just imagining myself, having just been denied a raise but still having a job and life otherwise being great, asking you for advice. "Just put a gun in your mouth. It's over."
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/14 02:40 PM
1

Just saw this after I responded to your other comment. You don't think it's a good idea to just say, we'll talk when I get home? If I continue to ignore her, she's going to go nuclear. Again, that would be fine with me, I like weekends alone, if not for wanting to see my baby really badly. EDIT: I don't mean nuclear like heading to the nearest lawyer and filing for divorce. I just mean she's going to take drastic measures, like heading up to her parents' house.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/14 02:37 PM
2

/u/strategos_autokrator I really look forward to your advice. Seriously, thanks for taking the time to help guide me through this. I'm going to text her or email her and say, I understand you're frustrated, we can talk about this when I get home from work. As to your point about birth, I understand this, but it's not the case. Since she was 6 weeks out, we've had sex a few times, as well as non-intercourse encounters, and she's enjoyed it. Secondly, I make sure she is thoroughly pleased. She has…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/14 02:36 PM
2

I also find it important to point out that if "apologizing" is what grownups do, and she's supposedly the grownup in this situation, then she'd have apologized more than, say, 3 times in the 4 years we've known each other, none of which have been very sincere. She doesn't have to clean up after me, that's the point. She chose to, and then tried to hold it over my head. I didn't let her.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/14 02:31 PM
1

This is one of those situations where I know I should just forget I found this sub and ignore this post, but hey, I'm a glutton for punishment, I guess. leaving a grotty lunchbox on the bench for his wife to clean I didn't leave it on a bench, or even in a shared area of the apartment. I left it in my work bag. I didn't leave it for her to clean, I forgot about it. As soon as I realized my mistake, I would've removed it and cleaned it, like I always do. Instead, she decided to clean it for me (w…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/14 02:29 PM
2

Not sure I understand....Do I basically just tell her I'm willing to listen to what she has to say, and then just nod along? If so, is this something I can do via phone/email? I'm guessing in person is required, but if I wait until I get home to respond, she may already go up to her parents' house for the weekend (which would be fine with me if not for my 4 month old daughter who I haven't seen all week).
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/14 02:02 PM
2

I'm guessing this is something I shouldn't do over email, correct? If not, do I wait until I get home from work, or call her?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/14 01:50 PM
7

Isn't her latest email, though, showing that she's still using sex as a bargaining chip? What she said: "Sex is not how we will amend this situation. I would like to talk things out first. If I don't feel emotionally content and respected in this relationship then we are not ready to have sex." My interpretation: "Talk this out with me, let me regain control and explain away my poor behavior, and then you can have a cookie." I understand she's my wife, and not a plate, so obviously I have to tre…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/14 01:49 PM
1

Okay. I think I'm getting better at taking the pussy off its pedestal, especially since I just feel much better the past few weeks when I've been spending my time at the gym, reading, doing productive things. Also, I just posted a very lengthy update, and would love your input.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/14 01:26 PM
1

You're right (as usual). I have yet another update that I will post shortly. I just have this feeling that things are going to get much worse before they get better.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/14 01:00 PM
2

She's really pissed about "the way I've been treating her" the last few weeks, how I have "no respect for her in this relationship." In that regard, I must be doing something right...
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/14 10:51 AM
1

4 months, yes, and no. This has nothing to do with actual important issues. It's a shit test, plain and simple.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/14 03:41 AM
1

I wish I could take credit, but /u/orange234 gave me the idea above.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/14 11:49 PM
1

Of course. I was more just thinking out loud and wondering if others had the same concerns, and, if so, did they have a resolution at any point.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/14 10:44 PM
1

What about if I wasn't that unhappy, but I certainly wasn't perfectly content with my lot? That's what I keep asking myself...if this eventually goes south, was it worth it? Or should I have just been happy with my lot?
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/14 10:29 PM
3

Great advice. I've read MMSL and MAP, in the middle of NMMNG (but I don't really like it very much). "When I say no, I feel guilty" is next up on my reading list. I can't watch that video now, but I'll make sure to take a look later. Seriously, thank you for your input. I'm gonna get this eventually. Baby steps, though.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/14 07:54 PM
1

Okay, good advice. Question: Do you consider telling her that she's going to give me pussy the same thing as asking for pussy?
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/14 05:10 PM
2

You're playing chess not checkers. Very well said. I also like this point because I like chess so much better than checkers. Also, I understand why this story sounds ludicrous. Because it's ludicrous. But, the tug-of-war has begun. It's clearly nothing more than jockeying for position.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/14 04:32 PM
1

Haha, I would never expect an apology out of her, and that's fine with me. I couldn't care less if she feels badly about it or not, I just care that she doesn't pull this shit in the future.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/14 04:30 PM
3

Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that you weren't busy. I was just saying that she's somewhat justified in not wanting to be looked at as my personal maid. Again, that being said. It's. A. F%#*ING. CONTAINER.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/14 04:29 PM
5

I agree that it's absolutely ridiculous. The only difference is that my wife has a job outside of the home, and is in school. Additionally, she takes care of our baby when she's not at work or school, and makes dinner, etc. All that being said, it was a f%@*ing container. Get the f%#& over it. Of course, I'm not gonna say that to her, as then it shows her that she can get a rise out of me.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/14 04:13 PM
2

Good point. The reason I try to plant the seed early on in the day is that I know my wife likes to plan everything she can throughout her day. If she didn't plan for sex that day, it's not going to happen. Second reason: If she's not into it for that day, I want to be able to plan something with friends, which usually requires some time.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/14 04:11 PM
1

Good advice, thanks. I've actually been much more okay with not getting sex the past few days because I'm trying to internalize outcome independence. She's not into it, alright, no big deal. Off to the gym I go, guys night out it is, etc. EDIT: Replied to wrong comment.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/14 04:09 PM
1

Actually, it's over not washing a container. In all seriousness, though, how do you recommend I shut this whole thing down?
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/14 04:06 PM
1

You're absolutely right.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/14 01:33 PM
2

One thing to consider....Let's assume Husband is pretty beta. For now, she is the judge of him, at least in his mind. He's not going to switch suddenly from beta to alpha without any prompting. He needs a push in the right direction, and perhaps by the end of reading some of those books, he'll realize that he doesn't need her approval and will start to be the judge of his own character. That being said, I still think /u/strategos_autokrator is right. You can't change others, you can only change …
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/14 01:18 PM
8

This was an excellent read, /u/strategos_autokrator. Thanks for taking the time and effort into typing this up.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/14 12:59 PM
1

I'm with you on this. This is what I actually read from his post: "Amused mastery." "Maintain frame, motherfucker." Aaaaand scene.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/12/14 07:48 PM
2

I started reading MMSL about 2 weeks ago, couldn't put it down. Then I read Mindful Attraction Plan, which I liked, but not nearly as much as MMSL. Now I'm reading NMMNG. So far, so good. It basically describes my life up until now. I've also been going to the gym and working on my diet for two weeks, already noticing some results (So far, I'm thoroughly enjoying StrongLifts 5x5). Not only has our frequency increased in only 2 weeks, she's jumped my bones a few times already, and one night spent…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/14 10:42 PM
4

UPDATE: I went to my buddy's place last night, played some CoD, had a few beers, really enjoyed myself. She texted me about something unrelated while I was there, I ignored it. When I got home, she was sleeping, I did my own thing, got up this morning, went to work. Our headboard has been making a lot of noise lately, so I texted her, "I wonder if there's anything I can do to quiet the headboard...because it'll be making a lot of noise tonight." I basically just wanted to know if I should be set…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/14 09:28 PM
4

You're absolutely right. And at this point, I'm reasonably certain my SMV is at least equal to hers, though it may be greater by now.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/14 01:54 AM
3

You had me up until me making her apologize. As I mentioned in another comment, I'm reasonably certain she'd just get mad and blow it up even further. It's funny how little I care though. Someone recently commented about how they're actually amused now at their spouse's hamstering. I feel like I now know exactly what he meant
/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/14 01:43 AM
3

Haha yeah you're probably right. The shit tests are in full force as she is slowly realizing that our relationship paradigm is shifting.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/14 01:41 AM
3

How do I respond if she gets mad at me for teasing her though, which is I'm sure exactly what would happen. I've started pretty much just laughing at her every time she gets mad at me. A short chuckle and a big stupid grin.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/14 01:40 AM
1

I started on my journey about a week ago. I ordered the book and just read it on my tablet. We have a joint account, and I leave my tablet laying around so it's likely only a matter of time until she sees what I'm reading (especially since I can't put it down). Just read it. Be confident in yourself. If she says anything, "there were a few things about myself that I disliked so I'm fixing them." If she continues to press, you don't need to respond. It's your money, and your time. When my wife st…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/14 03:19 AM
3

Thanks a lot for your advice, I'm gonna check out that subreddit. Has it been working at all? What differences have you noticed? Also, I don't think I'll be able to do the teasing thing...she'll just get disgusted...
/r/askTRP21/11/14 12:37 AM
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