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edr5619 Archive

View 9 posts and 185 comments by edr5619 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Doesn’t really matter. Purchased while married means marital home means marital asset. You have as much right to it as she does and her name being on the deed shouldn’t preclude an exclusive use order under circumstances of DV.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 02:29 PM
2

I can’t orgasm with viagra. Stays hard but can’t cum for the life of me no matter what I do.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 06:18 AM
1

Some lenders/banks allow mortgage holidays that allow you to skip up to four months of payments for things like job loss, medical emergency, etc. Done it twice now.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 05:28 AM
11

Apparently, I would yawn when I was tired.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 10:45 PM
5

At 46 I envy the energy level of the preteen/teen and remember when I was that age I wouldn't have thought twice about pulling an all-nighter and running about just as hard the following day. For a non-serious game, I'd roll with it. Let them discover their limits.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 07:11 PM
2

This is exactly it. The tricky part of this is valuation. Items are valued at present market value not purchase price. Be prepared to back up your valuations with listings of similar items from buy and sell websites in your area, etc. For higher end items particularly those with collector value like guns, antiques, and other big ticket items it might be worth getting a formal appraisal done. Your ex, if at all like mine, will want to grossly overestimate the value of your stuff while underestima…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 06:34 PM
3

I ended up representing myself. I did reasonably well. Got raped financially but maintained 50/50 with the kids (I effectively had to buy my kids from her). Look into whether lawyers in your jurisdiction can take you on a limited scope retainer. It means you are on the hook for much of the groundwork like writing letters and submissions for court/mediation/arbitration/whatever process you are engaged in but still have access to a lawyer for review and some degree of advice. The university around…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 07:02 PM
1

Your second para is most concerning, and I'm surprised OP doesn't raise in this possibility in his own post. My ex has also used things like this to argue her house is "home base" and should be recognized as such in custody negotiations. It's also a convenient way for her to keep pushing time back by saying "well they're already here, so may as well stay for dinner", and then "they're having such fun, they may as well stay for a while after supper", and then finally, "well it's too late and the …
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 05:45 PM
2

Some jurisdictions allow limited scope retainers. You do a lot of the work yourself, but still have access to some of their services.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 12:11 AM
3

I know it's fun to build some excitement and anticipation with the kids, but you might have to get into the habit of surprising them with these things. This way they can't go and tell mom "guess what we're going to do with dad next week...".
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 07:48 PM
3

You too? My former FIL gave me two chop-saws over the years. Both "disappeared" from the garage one day while I was at work and before I had moved out. My former SIL would give me a bottle of scotch for Christmas every year. I hardly drink and so I had several of them sitting in the liquor cabinet. They too "disappeared".
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 04:54 PM
2

Significant difference in income will often lead to child support even with 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/25 05:15 AM
5

You would be wasting your time (and money) taking it to the lawyer unless your ex is the type to withhold medical treatments, immunisations, etc. because of her new-found religious beliefs. Otherwise, your best bet is to talk to your daughter about your own beliefs (or lack thereof) so that she knows that she can choose whether to believe, or not.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/25 07:02 PM
1

Yep because she will be doing the exact same thing getting cash back on groceries, etc. also divorce 101.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 12:00 AM
1

This usually comes down to your willingness to testify/cooperate. Especially in the absence of other evidence.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 07:01 PM
4

It’s not his decision.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 06:22 PM
2

Debts to family and friends can be tricky because they are often just handshake gentlemen's agreements that are poorly documented. Did your friend have you sign anything? Are there at least text messages indicating promise to repay? If the loan is not documented you will need at least to be able to show a history of repayments to establish it as a loan and not a gift. If there is to this point no history of repayment, a lot of jurisdictions have limits on how much time a creditor has to call in …
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 02:27 AM
3

Absolutely, and you know, the parent who speaks like this to their child will then turn around and demand respect from their children. I am a firm believer in the idea that even a parent earns respect from their children.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 10:43 PM
1

An STD?
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 08:20 PM
2

Well, when they see you as nothing more than a wallet, it becomes inconceivable to think that maybe, just maybe, there is something else that you give your kids that isn't simply money. In her mind that's all your good for. Can't put herself in the kid's shoes.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 02:32 AM
1

I can't speak to VA laws, but this is usually legal separation dated from when you decided to separate, not physical separation. My ex and I lived together for a year and half after we had separated. it sucks, but if you two can coexist together then it is worth it to do it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/25 02:37 AM
6

There is nothing that says you have to leave the house. Stay in the house and don't let her tell you otherwise.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/25 01:37 AM
3

I would say that if what she is proposing is close to what you would like to see as a final outcome, then you are probably safe. I mean, it is perfectly possible to negotiate a divorce at your kitchen table if you are both more or less in agreement with the other. However, if she is proposing something radically different to what you would like to see, agreeing to it now might risk it becoming status quo and more difficult to overturn. If she is offering two weekends a month and you want 50/50, …
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 12:12 AM
3

Because - no doubt - its his fault she cheated on him. She had to, you see?
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 06:24 AM
1

Act now but also check the residency requirements in Colorado. She probably would not be able to file there until she has established residency which could be at least six months. If she tries to file before then she will probably be denied and told to file in NC.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 08:39 PM
9

Disclosure of financial documents is normal in divorce and will include any and debit, credit, or investment account you hold. Hers too. Look at this way, half of that debt is hers, too (and vice versa).
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 02:56 PM
5

Assuming that you are still in the process any thoughts of revenge need to be deferred until after - if at all - you have secured your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 02:49 PM
5

Yes, except then she tries to leave you with every other weekend. Mine tried that.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 05:31 PM
3

If it’s truly any topic then I can’t really offer anything. But if you can identify a trend or a theme to your disagreements, then you might have to bite your tongue when those topics come up. There is a reason why some topics like religion and politics are off limits in some contexts. This, you might have to accept, is one of them. You might have to accept that you will need to prioritize the relationship over expressing your disagreement.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 05:00 PM
4

That's all well and good, and I really don't disagree. However, if the depression is deep enough and the motivation to start or engage in exercise is lacking in the first place, an antidepressant can provide that motivation.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 07:51 PM
2

Wellbutrin is not an SSRI.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 07:48 PM
2

I did this on our August long weekend. I have lived in Alberta for twenty years and still never been to Cold Lake. So that weekend, I didn't have the kids, I packed a bunch of shit in the car and just took off. It's only a three hour drive, but it was the best thing I had done for my mental health in a long time. Cost me nothing but a tank of gas. I took my canoe, fishing gear, mountain bike, and tent and so nothing cost any money. Camped for free on Crown land and brought my own food with me. M…
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 02:51 AM
1

The youngest two can walk to school from her place. The oldest takes transit. He can take transit from my place and the difference is, as I said, negligible. It's only from my place that the youngest two will have to be driven, although the middle child can also take transit (about 25 minutes), though she can also ride her bike. I don't see this as unreasonable and certainly not a reason to limit my time to occasional weekend visits. She has been told no and my disagreement with this plan is on …
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 05:15 AM
7

Communicate via email only to the extent possible and only on matters germane to the divorce. Do not get into protracted arguments over relationship issues. Those are in the past, leave them there.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 04:58 AM
1

No, there is nothing. She argues that I am making the kids and her miserable by insisting on 50/50 and wants her house to be the kids "home base" as she puts it. It is easier for them to get to school from her place. But the difference is a matter of 10 minutes. Full custody has always been her stated end goal. This plan reflects that goal.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 04:34 AM
4

There are no orders in place, temporary or otherwise. All being done on an ad-hoc basis.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 11:37 PM
11

Same, Same. The smear campaign quickly became apparent as I delved more into it...and it continues to this day. Exaggerations, embellishments, omissions, and outright fabrications extending to friends, family (mine and hers), coworkers, teachers, daycare workers, parents of our kid's friends...you name it!
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 11:24 PM
13

STBXW was working from home during COVID on a shared laptop. I was setting the laptop up one evening for my son who wanted to watch Netflix. She had left her MS Teams window open where she was discussing her plans with her AP with her coworkers who were supporting and encouraging her.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 11:05 PM
1

My understanding is that second wives may still get alimony, but they get the dregs. I.e. the alimony that second wife gets will be substantially less than what first wife gets based on your ability to pay. But since you have one year left paying the first wife, she could easily delay the process for a year, too. Unless you formally adopted her kids, its unlikely (though not impossible) that she will get child support out of you too.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 03:37 PM
5

Well, I made two out of three. Waiting on the hate to go away. But hard to see it go away when the divorce process is still underway. Unfortunately, I don't see it going away if her antics continue post-divorce. The signs are pointing in that direction.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 03:10 AM
1

When we first started dating it was the same for us. I eventually got her to concede to waiting until the weekend after Remembrance Day.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 10:49 PM
15

Yes! A crawlspace full of that shit. I hated it! And what was worse, was that christmas lasted three months in our house. All that shit got put up in early November and taken down in late January. The house was cluttered to begin with, but three months of tacky christmas junk from Costco and dollar stores compounded the problem. I had to drag it all up the stairs and back down again. And she would be a fucking monster the day we put things up demanding that everyone help in just the right way to…
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 10:28 PM
1

Check facebook marketplace, craigslist, whatever people use for reselling things in your general area to get a sense of what similar items are worth. Purchase price is irrelevant.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 03:47 AM
5

Is this really required? At the outset my lawyer told me that unless items were worth a significant amount of money (i.e. > $1000) they generally don't matter. Get some guidance from your lawyer. Now, my STBXW has made an issue out of some of my collections (books, guns, tools) and so they have been valued down to the individual item. But that is all. Collectively, with the exception of the books, the guns and tools do reach a threshold for inclusion since there are several of each and that will…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/24 11:18 PM
1

Was your wife agreeable to 50/50 from the outset or did you have to contest it?
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 03:04 PM
2

Doable, yes. At this point at 45 I will be in the same position I was at 19. Complete reset.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 03:02 PM
9

Im right on the brink of it. If she succeeds in winning majority custody and I start paying child support I will have no choice but to move. But a one bedroom is only $300 cheaper here than the townhouse I’m renting and then I get even less custody because I have nowhere to put the kids. On top of that I will end up paying $300 per month to store my possessions because I won’t be able fit my tools and workout stuff in a one bedroom apartment. I could sell it all, I guess. Twenty five years or ma…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 01:23 AM
1

I can see the rationale for decreasing earnings, but the mental health? Wouldn't these be used to make him out to be an unfit parent?
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 02:22 PM
7

The veil has been lifted. I simply cannot look at happy couples anymore and wonder what lurks beneath. I know after my wife's affair(s), I certainly wore a mask.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/24 02:28 PM
7

Pretty much there, but then we are still working through divorce. Plus I'm dealing with ED probably stemming from her affair and the stress of it the ensuing divorce. Dating and sex are not even on the radar and frankly, I couldn't care less.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 09:59 PM
3

Keeping the house for the children's stability might give you an advantage with custody if she is trying for majority custody.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 03:47 PM
3

Doubtful. Unless you have very compelling evidence (i.e. not simply your word) that she is an irresponsible parent then having someone to back you up will be to your advantage. Denying therapy can very easily be spun against you and make you look as though you are not concerned for your children's welfare. If it is going to come down to he said, she said, then having a neutral third party like a therapist on board will help your side. Emphasis, as stated very well by a poster above, on neutral. …
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 02:48 PM
1

Yep, their conduct through the divorce has shown their true colours... The only one who has shown a shred of humanity and decency has been her mother. But then, her and STBXW always had a strained relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 02:36 PM
7

Her tendency to exaggerate stories was a foreshadowing of her pathological dishonesty. Her inability to be alone and her need to have me around her all the time was a foreshadowing of the many (many) accusations I faced of cheating, or wanting to cheat. "Obviously" the only reason to take an interest in physical fitness and stay fit was to find another woman.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 03:45 AM
3

Yep, it's a long weekend here in Canada. Going to throw the canoe and bike on the car tomorrow morning and head off to Cold Lake. Three hour drive. Lived here now for twenty years and never been. Now is the time. If I stay here it will be three days wallowing on my own and sitting on the couch.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 05:08 AM
7

It has been said that men tend to bond "side by side" where women tend to bond "face to face". Meaning that men make friends more in settings that involve sharing an activity like some sort of sport or hobby vs. going and sitting for coffee or lunch. May not be true for everyone, but still maybe finding common ground through a sport or hobby might be more conducive to making friends. So far, I have found that the initial steps were easier with another activity to bond over and some few of those …
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 06:58 PM
10

Mine was doing this too. It had two goals. First, she was trying to lay a trap and get me to act out in a way that she could use against me (divorce still in progress). Second, and if you were the primary parent - as I was - she was discovering that having to take care of three kids on her own is hard work. This is why in her lawyer's latest missive, she was complaining about how I won't come over anymore and help her with her housework - after complaining that I was trespassing in her house (se…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 05:52 AM
1

Sounds good, and this is what we have done. The only thing we responded to was her accusation of escalation. My lawyer has advised just sending her a recap of things I have done and things I have bought for the kids during my time as a way to build up my own case.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 02:21 AM
1

I find it easy to ignore the crap that comes via text message, etc. I get that. It's the stuff that comes from the lawyer that I find a little more difficult. These communications - as insipid and moronic as they are - seem to me more worthy of rebuttal. I just am apprehensive that this will be seen as a record against me, with nothing on my behalf to answer. Ultimately, I just don't have the money to pay my lawyer to write drivel like this on my behalf too and part of me is content to let her w…
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 02:19 AM
2

What is it about arbitration that is not recommended? We are headed in this direction and it is (at least here) universally recommended.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 10:20 PM
1

Do you advocate for answering accusatory emails from the ex's lawyer at all? I have been encountering this from the start and have gotten several emails from her accusing me of all manner of things all of which have been grossly exagerated, embellished, or in many cases out right fabricated. So far I haven't responded to any of them with the exception of one that was accusing me of "escalating" toward physical violence. My worry is that she is creating an evidentiary load which is something my l…
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 10:17 PM
5

Status quo until you have a signed agreement in place for the house AND the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/24 08:50 PM
5

I’m dealing with this now. The second the kids leave I am a depressed mess. I scroll Reddit and watch tv. Sometimes I find it helps to start small. Five minute walk around my townhouse complex for a couple days then move up to ten minutes. It isn’t much, but it’s not nothing. I have no money for gyms/clubs otherwise I would go do some BJJ or something. Not there yet.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/24 07:34 PM
1

It might be worth seeking a second opinion from a doctor who is actually qualified to make a diagnosis like this. In my experience a family doctor can technically do so. However, they generally lack the expertise to make a proper diagnosis and will use very superficial and rudimentary diagnostic checklists in their diagnosis without actually taking the time to do a thorough interview. Too many doctors are all to willing to simply write a prescription and get you out of the office as quickly as p…
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 04:08 PM
2

Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist is another good book recommendation in the same vein.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 03:54 PM
3

This is the same for me. I have very little support network. Only one friend in this city, who, while sympathetic, is not someone I can dump everything on. Family is on the other side of Canada. As a socially anxious type making friends, even if I had time, is difficult. Therapy has given me someone who can at least pretend to like it when I need to vent. I still only see her maybe once a month to six weeks, though.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 02:32 AM
0

Unless forced by court order, I wouldn't provide anything. The resume sounds like they want to impute income. If possible, could you, instead of handing them over prior to mediation, prepare the documents so you have them on hand and bring them to mediation with you. Hand them over then, if the mediator and your lawyer suggest it and you have a better read on what they are seeking with them.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/24 02:35 PM
8

I initiated separation after her affair(s). She filed first.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 02:57 PM
4

I don’t know what she plans to do. Couldn’t care less.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 12:33 AM
4

She can’t kick you out of your own house. Unless there is risk of physical violence on either side, go back. Especially if you have kids. Also, proving she has a new boyfriend is unlikely to make any difference in the end.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 06:39 PM
6

Legally, there is no way to accomplish this. However, it doesn't mean she can't try. I suppose it depends on how far she is willing to go. Is she "flee the country with your kid" crazy? Is she "accuse you of child abuse" crazy? Or is she more subtle and might attempt to alienate the child from you? Everyone seems to want full custody but outside of any serious dysfunction on your part (drugs, criminality, abuse), full custody is a pipe dream. The flipside is that none of this means your going to…
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 09:30 PM
2

My FIL has made it his mission to destroy me in the divorce. Fuck him. My MIL has been the only one to show me some civility during this and I think she is largely in my ex-wife’s camp because of the kids. Maybe I would go to her‘s. Maybe.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 05:17 PM
4

Not quite. While I was a stay at home parent for three years while attending school, that ended four years ago. What I mean is that she just has never been much involved with them. I was the one cooking, packing lunches, getting them to school, doing the bedtime routine, scheduling and attending appointments, playing, bike rides, park visits, etc. All that stuff was left to me. She was a fan of the grand gesture where she took the a kid (we have three) to an afternoon at the mall once a year or …
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 02:50 AM
4

I hear it. All I want is to be treated as an equal before the children. I was their primary caregiver for years. I won’t ever forgive this.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 01:35 AM
2

I see it going to court as well. Although I can see her settling at the last minute before we actually get there. Especially since my lawyer says that it is extremely unlikely that a judge will award the money to her father. But who knows? She is clearly a very stubborn and high conflict person where I am not. I have no taste for this shit. I despise it where she is in her element. The only thing they have bent on is reducing the debt, although I think that is really only because once $35k is ta…
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 01:34 AM
1

Canada. My understanding is that legal fees are very seldom awarded, if at all.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 01:27 AM
3

Doubtful. My experience was similar to OP's. My STBXW has been claiming I was depressed and dealing with PTSD during the marriage, which is false. And has been spreading this narrative as a part of her smear campaign. However, following her affair and with her shenanigans during the divorce, depression has become a reality, but only after the fact.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 02:43 PM
4

In the wake of my wife's affair, I reached out to my best friend - best man at my wedding, too - who I had somewhat drifted away from since he left the area. Turns out he was also cheating on his wife, and once he learned of my wife's activities, started texting her and trying to get her to sext him and send him nudes, etc. and saying that when he is back in the area they should hook up. That was great. Luckily, despite her attempts to disrupt my relationship with my family, they have stood firm…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 06:03 PM
5

IF you have to communicate with her, then look up the BIFF format for communication. Brief, Informative, Friendly and Firm. It is very useful in this context and allows you to communicate - again, to the extent necessary - in a manner that is free of emotion and vitriol. I would suggest keeping communication to the minimum necessary to deal with the logistical and practical matters associated with the kids. Don't respond when she tries to tell you (yet again) what a lousy husband and parent you …
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 02:44 PM
3

LOL! I had this exact experience and these thoughts three weeks ago when I went there to pick something up for my workplace. Although I am impressed and a bit jealous of your 5 minutes...it took me 20 just to get to what I needed and then to the cash... So glad to never have to go there again with the ex...
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 02:55 PM
5

I really want to go hang gliding. Or wing suit flying, though that one is probably a pipe dream.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 12:05 AM
6

If she is as gossipy as you say and your stbxw is already launching her smear campaign, then I would bet that she is already well aware of it. Careful what you say to her, she could be there fishing and sending info back to stbxw. Do not engage with the flying monkeys.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/24 07:30 PM
3

Most libraries offer printer for anywhere between $0.10 - 0.25 per page. I work as a librarian and we have people in printing stuff like this all the time. Oftentimes when it is a big job I flat rate and cap it at $5-10 or so depending.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/24 06:24 AM
2

It's so rare these days that it is now considered newsworthy!
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/24 02:20 PM
2

Wait, you guys were allowed to have friends?
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/24 03:06 PM
1

Yep...put me on the list for an open-air beachside gallbladder op...
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/24 04:01 AM
2

I have found starting small works for me. Finding the motivation to go for a short walk around the block is easier than a full-scale workout at the gym. Do that for a few days, increase the distance, etc. to build the habit and keep working up. If it's the gym you want, don't feel obligated to go for a full workout every time. There is nothing wrong with going and doing a few curls or bench press, or a few squats, etc. at a time and then leaving after 15 minutes. Get some dumbbells for home if l…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 04:05 PM
2

She could apply for exclusive use of the home. Around here, that process is about $5k...to start. And it takes upwards of two months. It's also not automatically granted. Here the court considers ability to financially manage new accommodations, whether other arrangements could be made such as moving in with family and other things in making a ruling. But she could do a quick and dirty and apply for a protection order of some sort...
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 05:23 AM
5

Well and with cs based on imputed income I will be paying cs unless I can find a new job in the coming weeks. That’s what bothers me here. There is no guarantee of time or anything else. Even visitation is essentially on her whim and discretion.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 07:30 PM
1

Yeah I would sooner do this over her proposal. She won’t go for that though and we do t have the resources or trust to do that and make it work. I already managed to find a place that is suitable although it is slightly farther away (5-8 minute drive).
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 07:28 PM
1

We were not in the same bed throughout the process. She had stayed in the master bedroom. I took over my son's room. He had been co-sleeping with her for a long time prior anyway (one of the reasons for our lacking sex life that she used to justify her affair).
/r/Divorce_Men29/02/24 03:38 PM
9

I guess we tried to have sex twice while separated. The first time she asked and I said no. She wouldn't drop it and kept pestering me for it. I said no. I go to bed and she climbs in with me. I didn't want to, but I ended up trying anyway. As soon as I got in, I pretty much went soft immediately. I fingered her and got her off. That was enough and she left. The next was a couple months later after she had been drinking at a wedding. I was in bed and she comes in and spoons me and tells me that …
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 04:52 PM
1

I would have preferred this scenario as well. My lawyer is arguing to separate the too, but the other one appears to be pushing something comprehensive soon. We started with property (and still don't have agreement) because they argued the house affordability was an immediate concern. So now the house is sold, and I am set to move out 15 March without having any discussion about custody and without even an agreement on property. I know that without an agreement she is going to take the kids with…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 08:27 PM
4

I will fight to my last dime for 50/50. There is absolutely no reason for her to get full custody.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 05:30 AM
3

Things like debt taken on for personal reasons and not disclosed to your partner. I found out a year ago about a massive amount of money ($70k) taken from my father in law over the years and spent frivolously to keep up with the Jones‘.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 08:04 PM
6

This is a confusing topic for me too. What I see online all the time is "the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference". And this too often gets translated into the idea that if you hate your STBX, you must still really be in love with them. I wonder if your therapist is following that script? The difficulty is that it is really difficult - impossible, perhaps - to reach indifference during the divorce process, especially with a high-conflict person. How can you be indifferent toward someon…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 04:59 PM
1

That would have been my preference. She cried poor and refused to pay the mortgage and so a court order was made for the immediate sale of the house. It is a done deal now, unfortunately, and we are out on the 1st.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 07:53 PM
2

Lawyer is covered…but is bogged down right now in the property aspects of this. Custody so far has not been discussed. 50/50 is the hill I will die on.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 02:46 AM
1

No, we have both remained in the marital home and will continue until at least 15 March when I move out. She will be moving (to where, I don’t know) around the same time as we both need to be out by 28 March at the latest.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 02:45 AM
4

I have experienced this, except it's no suspicion. She has run a vicious smear campaign against me for a long time and making fun of me for my hobbies, my feelings, my mannerisms, my car, my job has all been integral to it. It's disgusting leaving aside the embellishments and outright fabrications that accompany it all. I'm not going to lie, it has been hard, really hard. But, I remind myself that it's her problem, not mine that she doesn't like any of these things. I also remind myself that she…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 03:44 AM
2

It is fascinating the research that is being done in this area. I have been keeping my eye on it for a little while. I have experimented with microdosing psilocybin and LSD over the last few years after my wife's affair(s). Not so much for PTSD, as that has never been an issue for me though.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 08:49 PM
2

I believe you do have to be since it is a collaborative effort between Veterans Affairs and Atco. It is oriented toward Veterans who are facing some kind of housing crisis or some other transitional period. It's very common with us. When I lived in baracks it was all really young single guys and older guys in their 40's fresh out of divorce. We used to joke that the wing where they put them was the "battered husband's wing". The place does have a nice common room with TV and games and such, so k…
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 03:49 PM
3

I work in a Library and this is pretty common. I have helped more than a few people with the computers so that they could delete thousands of pictures of their ex. Oftentimes it seems an unbearable task for people and more than once I have seen people break down in front of the computer while doing this. I remember one particularly difficult engagement where a woman came in with what appeared to be hundreds of CDs that she had burned. It was very difficult to convince her that she would not be a…
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 06:25 PM
1

Yes of course. Hence the „granted a psychiatrist“. The better psychiatrists tend also to incorporate some talk therapy into their practice as well.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 07:13 PM
3

My wife's counselor (granted a psychiatrist) seems to have been instrumental in her affair, too, though I have yet to get an accurate representation of this (or the affair, for that matter).
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 07:54 PM
3

There is a veteran's village around here. Tiny homes made out of Atco trailers. Toured them a couple weeks ago and they really are quite nice. $640/month all in. That's half the going rate for a one-bedroom around here. Of course, the catch is, it means de-facto full custody for her until we can get a separation agreement in place. Can't get financing for anything else until then.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 12:08 AM
3

No legal advantage. You get thirty or so days to counter. The only advantage really is being able to about gathering supporting documents, etc. at your own pace. After you’re served, you have thirty days (generally) to find and gather several years worth of documents and draft a counter. It can get overwhelming especially with dealing with the emotions of being blindsided, etc. if you didn’t already see it coming.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 04:55 PM
1

This seems implausible to me. I get that family courts are overloaded, but when two parties dispute what should be entered into the property table and present divergent information, it seems to me that that is the whole point of going to court.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 01:26 AM
1

To some extent, yes. If she has a place to move on 1 April and I don’t, the she gets de-facto full custody and has an opportunity to argue that a new status quo has been established. Right now I am good since we are still resident together and under shared parenting. Maybe my worry is misplaced here, but it is a concern.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 08:42 PM
1

No, I hear you. I would never buy anything close to max pre-approval. I wish I could cash out my veteran's pension. It is worth $135k and would provide such a down payment. But the time is not right for that lest I see it divided too. I am just...just stuck...and feel myself slipping into despair and desperation here. Part of me wants to just stuff a suitcase full of cash and just walk away and disappear overseas. My kids matter too much for that though and so I want to fight, but am really fuck…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 08:13 PM
4

My lawyer has done well arguing over her father's money. She still hasn't provided full disclosure on it. All we get from them is "we're working on it", whatever that means. 50/50 residential custody is what I'm after. I will die on that hill, the financial hill not so much unless it jeopardises my ability to get custody the custody I'm after.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 08:00 PM
1

I will probably start moving my possessions right away into a storage unit. I am all alone here so it will be difficult. My parents are on the other side of the country and her smear campaign has left me otherwise completely isolated. Custody is the most important to me, but I don't want to roll over and just take her deal, either. There isn't a lot of money and any gain I make could easily evaporate. Going to court is $5k just to get started.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 07:57 PM
1

"A major city in Alberta" Cost of living is not great, but not terrible, by comparison. When I pre-approved for a mortgage two years ago (during our "reconciliation", I was pre-approved for $230; A townhouse type place around here goes for $170-190k. A duplex around $220k. Her initial offer gives me $35k for a (minimal) down payment. I have a veteran's pension of around $500 as well.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 07:51 PM
1

My lawyer is saying to take any offer over $55k. It's a question of how long it takes to get there. 1 April we are out of the house, and if I don't have a place to take three kids, then she gets de-facto full custody and I risk establishing a new status quo in terms of custody, which, I'm told, could work against me.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 07:46 PM
1

The non negotiables are 50/50 custody. That's why I am thinking to take her initial offer. Also, since she and her lawyer are both quite high-conflict (my lawyer has cautioned her lawyer a couple of times for her tone), my worry is that fighting over these things will eat up any gain in legal fees. I think, frankly, that that is her strategy. Leave me broke and destitute to ultimately leave me without the economic means to support my kids.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 07:44 PM
3

There are none. It was all verbal or via text. She hasn't even provided substantiation of the deposits yet. It's all just her word so far. I don't really dispute the existence of this money and the fact that money was transferred to her. I dispute the terms attached to them and also argue that some of the money being included were clearly Christmas gifts having been given to both us and the sister in law.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 07:41 PM
3

Well, yah, I guess I did partake. I was going to the restaurants with her, I suppose. I had no idea she was taking this money from her dad though and she has never been financially transparent. So I really had no clue until I started digging into things more and started seeing bank statements and such after questioning how she was spending and why we were missing mortgage payments, etc. My lawyer (and her's, I suspect) think that if this goes to court it would go favourably for me since there is…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 05:17 PM
1

My $70K offer was sweetened to some extent with me accepting $10k of her "loans". My major issue with this is that when the money was given, there was no expectation of them being paid back. I have text messages to this effect. Also, the $70K figure includes the $3k cheques that he was giving us (and my sister in law's family) at Christmas. I think it especially unfair to have to pay back what was clearly a gift in the case of these Christmas cheques. Also, the money wasn't used for the mortgage…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 04:15 PM
1

Add a cheese string. My kids love them!
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 04:16 PM
1

Caveat, I am in Canada. I requested that my STBXW obtain her own car insurance very soon after we filed. I gave her two months notice to have it coincide with our renewal date. She did make a stink about it and I did get a letter from her lawyer. I countered by pointing out that she had previously dropped me from her health insurance. The issue wasn't pursued any further, naturally. For my part, it was partly petty tit-for-tat but also served as a first step toward financial separation.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 06:18 PM
11

Really couldn't care less what she does.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 06:41 AM
1

No. You ask the lawyer about the legal frameworks that exist and the implications of them. Really isn’t a hard thing to do and doesn’t have to involve stating your intentions either way.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 01:01 AM
2

I believe that there are reciprocal agreements in place between the US and Canada that govern these things. Tread carefully, and ask a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 04:17 PM
3

Still going through divorce after infidelity. It has totally fucked me up. Have a hard time getting it up even just to masturbate. If I do get it up, a lot of the time I just go soft half way through. Haven't even bothered trying to date because I know it's going to be an issue. Really haven't found a solution yet. Maybe once this shitshow is finally done with.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 05:41 AM
4

I think it is about knowing your limits. Getting active is important for a man who may not have been for a very long time while married. For my part, I was active and was doing barbell lifting for a long time before her affair and the subsequent two years of “reconciliation” or, rather, two years of lying manipulation and gaslighting. The stress of it all made heavy barbell lifting damn near impossible. I wasn’t sleeping well and wasn’t eating well and hence wasn’t recovering well and my health …
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 04:06 PM
2

uh...excuse me? Next wife?
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 06:50 AM
1

I suspect that if it comes to this, her father will step in and purchase it on her behalf and then rent it back to her. I thought the same thing, that this feels fraudulent to me, but I really have no way of telling whether his story is true or not. I will be doing everything in my power to prevent it. Having the equity (and good enough credit to qualify) is absolutely essential to me providing a space for my kids at my income level.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 07:49 PM
1

Well, next step after changing the accounts is to file for support. We are living together which means here that we are under shared parenting right now. Since I am the lower earner she owes me child support which she hasn't been paying. So far I haven't pushed the issue since the financial status quo was working, but now it's not. So if she refuses to pay the daycare, etc instead, then it will need a heavier hand, I guess.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 03:16 PM
1

It would destroy both of our credit scores.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 03:14 PM
1

No, the mortgage is joint between the two of us. It's just that the way we divided bills, etc. the mortgage came from her account. Other of our bills came from mine. I suspect that that is part of their thinking. That was her father's experience, I gather. From what I have been told foreclosure can end up costing you tens of thousands of dollars, and yes, wreck both of our credit scores. I really don't think she is thinking this through. She says she wants to refinance the house, but her afforda…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 03:14 PM
2

I posted a week or two back about the unsubstantiated loans/gifts from the father in law. Mine is trying to leave me holding the bag on a $70k that she took from her dad with no paperwork, no history of repayment, and without any expectation of repayment. Divorce does not change a gift into a loan as if by magic.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 06:45 AM
13

For starters I would open your own account that she has no access to and have all your deposits moved into them
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 04:49 AM
3

Mine is claiming I dissipated money during the marriage...I didn’t...but I am absolutely paranoid about spending on anything, even essentials because she will ask me to justify everything. Obviously, the same doesn’t apply to her. But, you knew that already.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 01:27 AM
11

She is evidence gathering. She is either trying to make the case that you are spending shared money in hopes of getting a better settlement by proving that you are dissipating marital assets on frivolous purchases. Or, she is gathering evidence of your inability to provide the kids with safe or adequate housing in hopes of getting more custody. Or, maybe she really does like your cute new throw pillows. But, I doubt it. I'd tell her to wait in the car.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 11:37 PM
3

I believe in most cases child support is determined in large part by overnights. Overnights at her place would position her as the recipient of support.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/23 12:50 AM
1

Thank you for this. I will talk to the lawyer tomorrow. On point 1, there will be text messages between the two of them that can corroborate gifts. I also snooped and found a document where she states explicitly that there was no expectation of repayment, though she feels obligated to do so. There will be no one else, and certainly no one impartial. The only other might be her sister who could substantiate some of these transfers as Christmas gifts having received the same payment around the sam…
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 05:00 AM
1

It was all deposited either via cheque or e-transfer to her chequing account. We have both maintained our own separate chequing account plus a joint savings account that we would use to facilitate money transfers between us. She had complete control over that money the entire time while I had to go to my dad hat in hand last year to buy new clothes for myself.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 04:50 AM
1

That is definitely a worry. I do worry that arguing this will eventually exhaust what’s left anyway. Her dad is largely bankrolling the divorce on her side and she will argue it to the end, I suspect. I want to save my energy for the custody battle (she wants full custody). But, this money also will go a long way toward securing adequate housing for that.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 04:48 AM
1

Yah. That’s what my lawyer is arguing. She still hasn’t even provided a full disclosure related to these loans so we can’t even corroborate the total or anything else related to the. Apparently I am to just agree with less than a week and go on my merry way. They are definitely being aggressive. I should have known, it meshes with my stbxw perfectly. Just wait until I start posting about custody issues! Of course she wants full custody too.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 04:44 AM
42

You're only getting screwed if you let her screw you. Fight back. Her demands are unreasonable - laughable, even - especially alimony for herself. The only thing she might get is more custody since at 16 your daughter might get a say in the matter and decide for herself where she wants to spend the majority of the time.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 12:24 AM
3

I won't do anything until the divorce is final and even then, my thought is that I likely will not approach it unless any of her family asks. If that comes about then I will be honest about what happened. Her family already knows some parts of it because she has included it in her smear campaign, but makes it sound like she was the victim and she just had to have an affair. Her letter to them (the whole family of 40+) ran to ten pages of embellishments, exaggerations, and outright fabrications u…
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/23 03:10 PM
2

If you have kids, playing multiplayer is a good way to spend time with them without having to be physically present.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/23 05:09 AM
2

The fact she refuses to sign out and continues to use it like that suggests that she is doing it deliberately and with malice. I will bet she knows that you are seeing all this and is just rubbing salt into the wound.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 03:00 PM
1

Same same. Pinched lots of them from the mess to setup shelves and night tables beside my cot in afstan and too many exercises to count. Always handy!
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 01:53 AM
2

Milk crates overturned make great tv stands. Turned on their sides and stacked make great shelves. Cinder blocks and 2x6’s, maybe a card table or two… Folding lawn chairs. Seriously though, a google search for home decorating for me turns up a few articles. I thought, given that I’m a librarian, I should be able to turn up a good book recommendation or something. But nope. Any aspiring authors want to fill a niche here?
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/23 09:07 PM
5

Half of a couple billion, is still a couple billion. Does it really make a difference? Either way, it's more money than you or I would ever see in a hundred lifetimes.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/23 06:40 PM
1

Did my licence back in 2001, $13k to get it. Then (even at that time) $120/hr to rent a plane. There's a reason I haven't flown in ten years or so...
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 02:26 AM
3

Let us down? You took a bullet for us!
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 01:01 AM
1

I wouldn't think for a second that because you took the high road and gave up child support that she will do the same for you once the financial tables are turned.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/23 12:10 AM
4

I think this change in language is very common in divorce. I know I have done it myself. This has been a topic of discussion on r/divorce as well so you might go over there and see if you can dig up an older post. I seem to remember one a couple weeks back on this. I think most see it as a way to distance, or acknowledge the distance that now exists between former partners. Just like you probably wouldn't use more familiar/intimate terms like "mommy" and "daddy" anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 03:49 PM
3

Report the card stolen or have it frozen now, if you have authority to do so. Ultimately, it’s not really in her interest to do so. Yes, you might end up having to pay half, but so would she. To what end, then?
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 04:40 AM
2

I’m in Alberta FWIW. My understanding is that if you are on the title and mortgage to the property and there are no legal restrictions (such as a restraining order or something similar) then you have every right to enter the home regardless of her wishes. It is as much your property as hers. The fact that you call it the matrimonial home suggests to me maybe that she has ownership? If that is the case I would hesitate to enter esp. since you have already de facto ended your residence there. Soun…
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/22 06:38 PM
66

The general rule is that whatever someone says on social media is opposite to how she actually feels. It’s how she wishes she felt. No more.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/22 06:47 AM
3

In many cases a six month conjugal relationship in Canada is considered a common law marriage. Treated almost, but not entirely the same way as a marriage in dissolution.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/22 07:10 PM
4

Absolutely. This all screams validation seeking. She is putting these things out there to gain attention and to fish for people to prop up her flagging self-esteem with their likes. She is an empty vessel.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/22 03:56 PM
1

Oh I know what she told him. And what she told her friends - people I have never met - and who encouraged her to have an affair. I have all her text messages lol. She apparently told her doctor the reason she needed an STD last year after I caught her was that I was going incommunicado for hours at a time driving around the city to have sex with random men...men no less! I don't leave the house alone other than for work! And then has the gall to get mad at me for going and getting an STD test be…
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/22 06:12 AM
2

Yes. Even when I caught her a second time it was still my fault because I didn’t do xyz. Guess what I did do xyz, and even if I hadn’t, couldn’t she have talked to me about it? AP was just a stick that she used to beat me with.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 01:12 AM
1

Definitely. There is showing interest in your hobbies and then there is mirroring which is another narcissistic personality trait. When she seems to take too much interest in your hobbies to the point where she is starting to engage in them with you, tread carefully. This will last until she feels she has you on lock and then she will turn on a dime and your hobbies and interests will be viciously discarded, as you will be too.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/22 02:50 PM
1

I wonder if she is running on some slim hope that the child is yours and would then be able to seek child support now that bio-dad is no longer paying the bills.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/22 07:50 PM
1

My understanding is that nothing is really set in stone here. I do believe in most jurisdictions alimony can be changed if there are major changes to life circumstances but it is less likely that an ex-spouse will be able to argue for change there where child support is regularly amended. You might be more likely to face a challenge like this the closer your promotion is to your final decree. She might be able to argue some sort of malfeasance on your part there by saying that you deliberately d…
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/22 02:41 PM
5

Might not matter ultimately. These things, particularly child support, can be amended in the future based on post-divorce changes in financial circumstances.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/22 08:36 PM
3

A mediator is supposed to be a neutral third party and shouldn't be offering that kind of advice. However, if an offer or request is grossly unfair or unreasonable, then they may offer an opinion based on whether they think a judge would accept such an agreement.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/22 08:27 PM
3

I will second this one. Every story becomes a classic fish story. My wife would do this. It wasn’t long until it was turned against me and if I said damn during an argument it would get recast as me yelling and screaming and swearing. Almost always black and white, dramatized and exaggerated. Made marriage counselling or any rational discussion impossible and eventually culminated in her affair and the reasons she gave to justify it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/22 10:28 PM
1

The book “Divorce Poison” is a must read for anyone experiencing this. While the standard advice is to take the high road and not respond, the author takes issue with this advice in some cases and lays out a number of strategies for dealing with this. Worth the read.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/22 06:10 PM
3

If your ability to earn a living is diminished due to your injuries - and being on SSDI, i would guess that it is - I would absolutely go for child support, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/22 06:00 PM
2

Sorry, eh! Wifi in this igloo is terrible...
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/22 04:23 PM
3

Lol Canadian army…combat engineers. Bosnia and Afghanistan.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/22 02:45 PM
2

I guess it's part of her excuse for cheating. I'm the one initiating the divorce. She insists she wants to remain married. Plan B really since AP wasn't interested in a relationship - surprise! Really just wants a babysitter and housekeeper.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/22 04:48 AM
2

Unfortunately I already stuck around for cheating part deux. Happened about six months after the first. And - I'm sure you'll be shocked to find out - once again, it was my fault.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/22 04:46 AM
1

Thanks for the book tip. I have heard an interview or two with GS Youngblood and have like what I have heard, though I haven't dipped into his other work.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/22 08:42 PM
3

Other than being a handyman, this is pretty much exactly our dynamic. If I didn't do something myself, it simply wouldn't get done. Money is another thing and something I neglected to mention in my post. I am the manager of the Library I work at, but it is a small town public library and so it isn't the most lucrative position out there. She does make more and I know that is a sore spot for her as she styles herself the breadwinner even though she couldn't maintain our present standard of living…
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/22 08:41 PM
3

She tried her damnedest to get him to open up to an actual relationship with her. And had he agreed, she would have left me last summer for him. He, however, was never interested from the start. It was just sex to him and nothing more. Thing is he is weed smoking, living at home with his mother, slob. Not to be too much of a braggart, but he feels like a definite downgrade. But hey, he was fun, without any real life responsibilities, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/22 08:33 PM
2

Thanks for the tip, I remember reading some of his blog some time ago, but never actually dipped into his book. I wonder if I could slip it into the Library collection here LOL
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/22 08:31 PM
1

I have been watching Better Bachelor for some time now. I guess the one sidedness of my marriage led me in that direction a while ago. I always found it interesting, but more useful - obviously - to those who were already single. At the time my marriage still seemed workable - too good to leave, too bad to stay kind of ambivalence. Also kind of made me feel stuck since the BB tends to highlight the worst aspects of modern dating that it almost felt like, dissatisfying as my life might have been,…
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/22 08:29 PM
1

Did you end up on the hook for it with the divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/22 02:56 PM
2

I love bread - could and nearly do - eat it every day. The book "Artisan Bread in 5 minutes a day" by Hertzberg and Francois is great. You make a big bowl of dough on a Sunday evening, keep it in the fridge and then pull out a small amount each day, shape, let rest for 20 minutes then bake. The dough is versatile and can be made into loaves, flatbreads, or used for pizza, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/22 10:23 PM
3

Filing first allows you to set the terms in court at the outset leaving the other in a relatively weaker position where the are starting on the defensive and forced to respond to the other parties claims. Sometimes the best defence is a good offence.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 01:30 AM
1

They will enforce a minimum living condition…but it will be up to you to provide it for her. Cash & Prizes.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/22 05:32 PM
2

Meanwhile she's been airing all your dirty laundry in front of her AP(s). Mine has done the same, tried to keep me out of contact with my dad and sister - the only support I have while she runs her smear campaign to anyone and everyone who will listen.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/22 02:13 AM
3

50/50 is not a guarantee of no support if there is a significant income disparity.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/22 08:15 PM
2

I really couldn’t say. Depends on how quickly you get a lawyer. But also depends on how quickly her lawyer responds and what they respond with. If it is overall a good deal it might not be worth derailing it over a few minor details.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 08:33 PM
6

Even if you don’t ultimately bring a lawyer into play it can’t hurt to at least consult with one. Consulting one and letting them review any agreements does not obligate you to going to court. Having that opinion though could be very valuable to ensure that what you agree to is reasonable. While it doesn’t sound like she has ulterior motives, the devil is in the details.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 08:19 PM
5

Yah. That's what my wife was telling her AP.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/22 10:29 PM
13

Things like driving by "randomly" and sitting outside a place of work is a fairly common tactic of abusive people and is used for the purposes of intimidation and control. Maybe she will be thinking to catch you in some misdeed...smoking weed during lunch break?
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/22 10:56 PM
3

I haven't been to the range in years. I'll give you one guess as to why...
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/22 05:01 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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