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elrojozul Archive

View 0 posts and 127 comments by elrojozul on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Will do, thanks
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/22 01:40 PM
1

This reminds me of Way of the Superior Man - I need to reread that.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/22 08:02 AM
2

Sounds like a reasonable goal to me. What I'm curious about is when do you know you've reached that point? I have a vague list in my head, but I should make it explicit and actionable. Will do that for next week. On the fear question, it's about not having fear control my actions and outlook, whether or not I feel it.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/22 08:00 AM
3

The whole mission part is missing at the moment. I feel like I'm dragging myself out of failure and towards being a functioning adult, at which point I'll be better placed to think long-term. However, if I had to boil it down, at the moment I'm aiming towards a life which is not governed by fear.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/22 12:38 PM
12

Stats: Age 43, separated, 3 kids (between 6 and 11). Height: 5'8". Weight: 76kg (168lbs). This week’s lifts, 3 sets of 6 reps: DL: 130kg (287lbs), Bench: 75kg (165lbs), Squat: 60kg (132lbs). Body fat: 19% (Jackson Pollock / Navy - took the higher one). Englishman living in Spain. Why I’m here: I fucked up my life. Need to rebuild it differently or I’ll fuck it up again. Summary: a good week where I’ve concentrated on the physical and the social. Physical: 5 gym sessions (Bigger Leaner Stronger p…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/22 09:27 AM
1

Great question. And complicated to answer. I'd like to say that it's because I believe we're only here once and I want to enjoy it, and be satisfied with my time on earth (and not be mired in self-hatred about wasting my potential). However, I also know that I have deep validation issues, and want the world to tell me that I'm OK and "enough", and that if only I do (x,y,z) I will get that validation. Your question makes me realise that I need a better vision of what I'm hoping to achieve, and wh…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/22 03:50 PM
1

Stats: Age 43, separated, 3 kids (between 6 and 11). Height: 5'8". Weight: 77kg (170lbs). This week’s lifts, 3 sets of 6 reps: DL: 120kg (265lbs), Bench: 70kg (154lbs), Squat: 50kg (110lbs). Bodyfat: 19% (Jackson Pollock / Navy - took the higher one). Englishman living in Spain. Why I’m here: I fucked up my life. Need to rebuild it differently or I’ll fuck it up again. Overall: In most areas of my life I have achieved mediocrity, and the temptation is to stay there, as I am “good enough” compare…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/22 03:13 PM
2

OYS 2 Stats: Age 43, separated, 3 kids (between 6 and 11). Height: 5'9". Weight: 76kg (168lbs). Currently working Mark Wildman’s KB and single arm club programmes (KBs: 24kg & 32kg; clubs, 6kg and 8kg). Bodyfat: 18% (visual method). Englishman living in Spain. Why I’m here: I fucked up my life. Need to rebuild it differently or I’ll fuck it up again. Physical: Had a few comments last week noting that I was “invested” in kettlebells and functional fitness and should man-up and get to the gym. The…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/01/22 05:17 PM
1

Can I do beach volleyball instead of soccer? My timetable with my kids is changing in a couple of weeks, at which point I'll see which sport I can do regularly. Agree with you on being the prize. I haven't internalised that yet, but I don't have any issues getting dates these days. I speak Spanish but it could be better. Thanks for taking the time to give some proper feedback.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/12/21 11:16 PM
1

Agreed - my ego getting in the way. Though I was thinking more about doing beach volleyball, rather than soccer. More of a mixed crowd.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/12/21 11:12 PM
1

Ouch. Yeah, I'm boring. I did BJJ pre-pandemic but stopped it when the club reopened as the restrictions would have made it no fun. I've scoped out another, more lax club which I'll check out in the new year. I'm shit at soccer.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/12/21 06:20 PM
4

Ok, when two people tell you the same thing within an hour of posting you should listen. Reactivated gym membership and there now. You're right.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/12/21 03:41 PM
1

Drinking…. Been thinking over the last week that I was able to quit smoking 2 packs a day for 10 years just by deciding I was done. Had tried lots of meds and other techniques, but nothing worked…. It was the mental shift that I was no longer a smoker that made the difference. I’m trying to figure out what that switch will look like for drinking. Allen Carr's "Easy Way to Control Drinking" is good on this. Also, have heard good things about The Naked Mind by Annie Grace.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/12/21 12:44 PM
2

I’ve been here before, but I’m starting again. OYS 1. Stats: Age 43, separated, 3 kids (between 6 and 11). Height: 5'9". Weight: 76kg (168lbs). Currently working Mark Wildman’s KB and single arm club programmes (KBs: 24kg & 32kg; clubs, 6kg and 8kg). Bodyfat: 18% (visual method). Englishman living in Spain. Background: Separated from my ex 2 years ago. Both English, but living in Spain. Last time I was here I was looking for quick fixes but unwilling to make the real changes. Last summer I start…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/12/21 12:16 PM
2

Thanks for this. Yes, exactly the same thing here. The first few times with someone new it's an issue, then once it happens, all is fine. Clearly a mental issue. I think I'm going to go the viagra/cialis route - even if it's a placebo, it should give me more confidence and some breathing space to work through the underlying mental issues. Appreciate you sharing your notes.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/20 10:15 AM
2

Great, thank you. One week in and I'm already feeling sharper. Also as if I've bought myself an extra day of time per week.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/20 10:13 AM
3

OYS 36 Stats: Age 42, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (5, 8, 10). Height: 5'9". Weight: 73.8kg (162lbs). Most recent max 5/3/1 lifts - Bench 75kg (165lbs), OHP 50kg (110lbs), DL: 150kg (330lbs), squat 102.5kg (220lbs). Full days since smoking weed: 5. Full days since smoking cigarettes: 2. Have read most of the sidebar at least once. Englishman living in Spain. As a few people commented on my last OYS, I have too many goals going at the same time. I kept up with most of it this week, but my att…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/20 08:17 AM
1

OK - thanks for this. What's changed for you since quitting? Is this a never again thing for you, or would you allow yourself occasional use under certain conditions?
/r/MarriedRedPill06/08/20 05:16 AM
2

Good to have an idea though, right? Gives us numerical goals to aim for.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/08/20 06:34 PM
2

I don't know my BF exactly (yeah, I know - I should know that). I have a 30" waist, if that helps. My deadlift is relatively better than my other lifts. My presses are pretty shit. Might be a long arm/short leg thing. Have you checked Strength Standards? My deadlift is intermediate standard for my weight (higher in the intermediate if I factor in my age too), but my bench is novice level.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/08/20 06:24 PM
2

I know - you've persuaded me. The only thing I'm not sure about if this is a forever thing, or if I let myself do it occasionally with friends. But yes, sure - let's see what life's like without it.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/08/20 06:18 PM
2

well, when you put it that way...
/r/MarriedRedPill05/08/20 08:33 AM
2

So my instinct is that the weed isn't a problem and, since I quit drinking a few years ago, it's a harmless way to wind-down. HOWEVER, I know enough now to recognise that most of my instincts are dogshit.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/08/20 07:06 AM
3

> One of my big ego traps was "I'm not the worthless shit she thinks I am. I'll show her how great I am and then she'll want me again. Oh, yeah. I did that too.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/08/20 05:35 AM
1

OK, thanks for the input.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/20 03:29 PM
2

Just over a year. No one since ex-wife.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/20 03:27 PM
2

OK, thanks. Will see how this week goes and reassess on Monday.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/20 03:27 PM
2

agreed, thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/20 01:17 PM
1

I'm comfortable with my progress in this area this week.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/20 01:01 PM
2

I have not.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/20 12:51 PM
3

I like S&S. Have achieved Simple for 32kg with the get-ups, but nowhere near getting the swings for time. Yeah, I've found that you need to keep cycling through the reading and, crucially, apply things to daily life. I'm still working on STFU, 1 year in.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/20 12:23 PM
3

What kind of routine are you doing with the Kettlebells? BTW: it's probable that you're too early in your journey for TWOTSM.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/20 12:02 PM
4

The last 3 days we have not only been civil, but loving towards each other. There is no disdain for each other and it’s like we are dating all over again. Our 1st marriage is dead and our 2nd marriage is starting. My "2nd marriage" lasted about 6 weeks before she rekindled the affair. Three things. 1) Your marriage is almost certainly fucked. 2) You're in for a lot of pain, confusion and anger. 3) No big deal. You'll survive. As I once read on here, "this is one of life's great experiences. Soak…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/20 11:57 AM
3

I got out, and I was friendly, but did not make any new friends. I've been asking people's names at the gym, chitchat at the bookshop etc. Expanding the friendship funnel.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/20 11:30 AM
7

Seconded. I told myself the same stories OP did. "Oh, I was a bad husband, I can understand why she did it, I can't blame her, here's another chance." Spoiler: it didn't work out. What I thought of as being "honourable" and "taking responsibility for my previous faggotry" was just terror of an unknown, unmarried future. Maybe OP is different... Maybe not.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/20 11:28 AM
5

OYS 35 Stats: Age 42, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (5, 8, 10). Height: 5'9". Weight: 72.9kg (161lbs). Most recent max 5/3/1 lifts - Bench 75kg (165lbs), OHP 50kg (110lbs), DL: 150kg (330lbs), squat 102.5kg (220lbs). Have read most of the sidebar at least once. Englishman living in Spain. Concepts to focus on this week: What would my life look like if I took my goals seriously? What would my life look like if I thought I had as much right as anyone else to the things I wanted? Practice to foc…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/20 08:40 AM
1

So, this time last year I was totally fucked. Imagine the very worst faggot who turns up here. That was me. I've had, and still have, a fuck load of work to do. Thus far I've been fixing the leaking holes and have now achieved the heights of regular, beginner MRP faggot. "Progress" for me has meant realisations of deeper levels of faggotry. "Progress" means seeing vast new areas of bullshit I need to work on. The whole social thing is one of those areas. I thought I was basically fine. No - I'm …
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/20 11:25 AM
1

Yes. I've realised that I've been using it as an excuse: "I can't be more social because I'm in another country". If I was in England I'd just use a different excuse to avoid the slight discomfort of pushing myself to be more social. The language issue not relevant. I'll model your son.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/07/20 05:53 AM
1

Yeah, you're totally right. Obviously I know that it doesn't matter, but in the moment it feels like it matters - when I go to speak I have the "flooding" and panic. But anyway, for whatever reason, that fear seems to have lifted so I'll get on with it. BTW, I'm English, not American, but your points still apply. As long as I make a bit of an effort in Spanish and don't go around with a Brexit cap, I'm golden.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/07/20 05:50 AM
2

Yeah, it's easy to reframe as a positive: I'm a novelty. Also, as you say, you can be more direct and genuine. You don't talk around things for the fun of saying the words. I noticed today spending the day in Spanish mode I talk a lot less, and when I do talk I ask direct questions and give direct replies. No DEERing or unnecessary detail.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/20 09:45 PM
2

Yeah, you're right. I could game (badly) in Spanish, but I don't, because I don't have the balls. I was trying to think of a goal which was more concrete and measurable than the nebulous, "be better at Spanish" or "be comfortable speaking Spanish", but gaming is a different thing. Will think harder about both. Thanks for the regular ball-busting.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/20 08:09 PM
2

OYS 34 Stats: Age 42, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (5, 8, 10). Height: 5'9". Weight: 72.5kg (160lbs). Most recent 5/3/1 lifts - Bench 75kg (165lbs), OHP 50kg (110lbs), DL: 150kg (330lbs), squat 102.5kg (220lbs). Have read most of the sidebar at least once. Englishman living in Spain. This is mainly going to be about learning Spanish. I've been trying to do too many things at once and not making enough progress in any. Spanish (I'm the English guy who lives in Spain but works in English and i…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/20 06:47 PM
2

Alright, thanks. Will read Day Bang. It's not quite as simple as you make out - masks enforced by law here, everyone afraid and solitary, no groups of people and there's the language barrier. Still, ultimately these are excuses. I could, should and will get out more. My social skills are great once I know people, I make friends easily and people like me, it's first contact which is my problem. I don't know what elderly chat/game is, so I'll find out.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/20 05:00 PM
3

Yeah, pre-lockdown I was going to BJJ twice a week, archery twice a week and had just started a surf course. None of those options are now available. I can clearly see my problem -- social isolation -- but at the moment I can't see a strategy to relieve it.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/20 12:39 PM
3

"I ask as everything you refer to is about watching, listening or reading" That's really perceptive. I need to think about that. I have some solid male friends but they live in the UK (I'm in Spain). Also, the two I have most contact with are heavy weed smokers. My lack of friends here is a problem. I've been monitoring meetup but it's only just starting to get going again post-lockdown and no good options at the moment. Will continue to check each week and go to a meetup as soon as a viable one…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/20 12:08 PM
2

OYS 33 Stats: Age 42, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (5, 8, 10). Height: 5'9". Weight: 72.5kg (160lbs). Most recent 5/3/1 lifts - Bench 75kg (165lbs), OHP 50kg (110lbs), DL: 150kg (330lbs), squat 102.5kg (220lbs). Have read most of the sidebar at least once. Englishman living in Spain. Last week johneyapocalypse kicked me up the arse again about moping around being a faggot. Covid has given me cover for being a Netflix-watching, internet-browsing, weed-smoking shut-in (faggot). This week when …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/20 11:22 AM
1

Urgh. OK. Thanks for the kick up the arse. I had some of that spirit pre-lockdown but had lost touch with it. You're right, of course.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/20 01:08 PM
1

Yeah, this seems really obvious, doesn't it? I looked last year but couldn't find one which fit my timetable. I'll look again. Thanks for pointing out the obvious solution here.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/20 01:07 PM
1

OYS 32 Stats: Age 42, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (5, 8, 10). Height: 5'9". Weight: 72.5kg (160lbs). Most recent 5/3/1 lifts - Bench 72.5kg (160lbs), OHP 50kg (110lbs), DL: 147.5kg (325lbs), squat 102.5kg (220lbs). Have read most of the sidebar at least once. Englishman living in Spain. My OYS entries so far are a reflection of my mental mood when I write them. If I’m cheerful, I focus on the good parts of the week. If I’m feeling low, I either castigate myself (and promise to do better) or…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/20 05:44 PM
1

I take your point about goals and spreading myself too thin. Improving Spanish has to be one of my major goals as it would do the most to improve my life. I live in Spain, I speak Spanish every day, and can get along fine with general life stuff - gym, shops, admin etc. However, I've hit a plateau and find long personal conversations to be hard work. That's what I need to improve. (I work in an English-speaking environment.) On your specific tips, I'm now watching Spanish films with Spanish, rat…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/07/20 08:36 AM
1

OYS 31 Stats: Age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (5, 8, 10). Height: 5'9". Weight: 72kg (159lbs). Most recent (pre-lockdown) 5/3/1 lifts - Bench 72.5kg (160lbs), OHP 47.5kg (105lbs), DL: 150kg (330lbs), squat 102.5kg (220lbs). Finally back in the gym this week. Have read most of the sidebar at least once. English man living in Spain. I didn’t OYS last week. This is a pattern when I have a meh week of no progress. That’s not owning the shit. That’s waiting for validation from internet stran…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/20 07:58 PM
3

"Social: I got a number close... When it was time to leave, she asked for my number..." Sounds like it was your new friend who got the number close.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/20 05:09 PM
4

OYS 30 Stats: Age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (5, 8, 10). Height: 5'9". Weight: 71kg (156lbs). Most recent (pre-lockdown) 5/3/1 lifts - Bench 72.5kg (160lbs), OHP 47.5kg (105lbs), DL: 150kg (330lbs), squat 102.5kg (220lbs). Now working a mix of Pavel Tsatsouline’s Simple and Sinister and bodyweight exercises. Have read most of the sidebar at least once. English man living in Spain. Physical “This week I will get back to a sustainable and sensible way of eating.” - Nope. Since finishing …
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/20 08:31 AM
1

OYS 29 Stats: Age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (5, 8, 9). Height: 5'9". Weight: 71kg (156lbs). Most recent (pre-lockdown) 5/3/1 lifts - Bench 72.5kg (160lbs), OHP 47.5kg (105lbs), DL: 150kg (330lbs), squat 102.5kg (220lbs). Now working a mix of Pavel Tsatsouline’s Simple and Sinister and Enter the Kettlebell routines. Have read most of the sidebar at least once. The biggest thing last week was completing a 3 day fast. The idea of this would have been ridiculous not so long ago, but I did…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/20 06:36 AM
2

OYS 28 Stats: Age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (5, 8, 9). Height: 5'9". Weight: 71kg (156lbs). Most recent (pre-lockdown) 5/3/1 lifts - Bench 72.5kg (160lbs), OHP 47.5kg (105lbs), DL: 150kg (330lbs), squat 102.5kg (220lbs). Now working a mix of Pavel Tsatsouline’s Simple and Sinister and Enter the Kettlebell routines. Have read most of the sidebar at least once. On day 2 of a 3 day fast, so my energy is low. Will see how much stamina I have for this OYS. Last week's goals: complete my fi…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/20 05:53 PM
1

OYS 27: Stats: Age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (5, 8, 9). Height: 5'9". Weight: 71kg (156lbs). Most recent (pre-lockdown) 5/3/1 lifts - Bench 72.5kg (160lbs), OHP 47.5kg (105lbs), DL: 150kg (330lbs), squat 102.5kg (220lbs). Now working a mix of Pavel Tsatsouline’s Simple and Sinister and Enter the Kettlebell routines. Have read most of the sidebar at least once. Have taken a few weeks off from OYS. The reason: I’m still smoking and rather than own that I avoided writing here that I was …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/20 11:37 AM
1

I have a 24kg and a 32kg. I use the 24 for presses and the 32 for one-handed swings and get-ups. I can't do 100 swings in 5 minutes. I tested for time yesterday and could do the first 50 at the right pace, but slowed considerably for the remainder. The get-ups I can do for time without any trouble. The jump between 24 and 32 is significant, and took me a few weeks to transition. I'd recommend using chalk too - the main thing holding me back on the swings has been maintaining a grip on the fucker…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/20 01:23 PM
2

This is all good advice. Thanks for taking the time to comment. I did something similar last night, prioritising doing things I actually want to do, rather than defaulting to TV. Felt great, and got to bed earlier.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/20 01:18 PM
1

Looks like you misunderstood me - for friends and girls I said "when things lift", ie the lockdown. I've got plenty to be getting on with until then. Our goals are different.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/20 04:42 PM
1

Sounds like your fear of rejection is combining with your ego to create this BS way of looking at things. So this is true, and probably factors into it, but I meant that it is more important for me to have more friends/social options, than it is to have sex with randoms. With limited time, I'd rather invest in the former for a while.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/20 02:57 PM
2

OYS 26 Stats: Age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (5, 8, 9). Height: 5'9". Weight: 73kg (161lbs). Most recent (pre-lockdown) 5/3/1 lifts - Bench 72.5kg (160lbs), OHP 47.5kg (105lbs), DL: 150kg (330lbs), squat 102.5kg (220lbs). Now working Pavel Tsatsouline’s Simple and Sinister routine. Have read most of the sidebar at least once. I’m treading water. I’m not getting any worse, but I’m not going forward. I go to work, I come home, I hang out with my kids and get them to bed, I work out with …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/20 01:47 PM
1

Yes. You're totally right. I'll do this today. Thanks for the feedback.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/20 11:11 AM
1

OYS 25 Stats: Age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (5, 8, 9). Height: 5'9". Weight: 73kg (161lbs). Most recent (pre-lockdown) 5/3/1 lifts - Bench 72.5kg (160lbs), OHP 47.5kg (105lbs), DL: 150kg (330lbs), squat 102.5kg (220lbs). Now working Pavel Tsatsouline’s Simple and Sinister routine. Have read most of the sidebar at least once. Currently reading: Happiness by Derren Brown and Herodotus’s Histories. Tuesday came and went without me submitting an OYS. Yes, I was busy. Yes, I could have fou…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/20 06:03 PM
1

Another thing: appearance. I've stopped trimming my beard during lockdown, and last week gave myself the shortest haircut of my life. In doing so, I realised how much I've avoided looking masculine, preferring to look... pleasant, whatever that means. I look back at photos of myself from last year and I look like a tiny, scared boy. So that's changing.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/20 06:22 PM
1

OYS 24 Stats: Age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (5, 8, 9). Height: 5'9". Weight: 73kg (161lbs). Most recent (pre-lockdown) 5/3/1 lifts - Bench 72.5kg (160lbs), OHP 47.5kg (105lbs), DL: 150kg (330lbs), squat 102.5kg (220lbs). Now working Pavel Tsatsouline’s Simple and Sinister routine. Have read most of the sidebar at least once. Currently reading: Happiness by Derren Brown. Lockdown Week 6 of lockdown. Still can’t transfer the children back and forth, so they’re with me all the time, with…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/20 06:11 PM
13

OYS 23 Stats: Age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (5, 8, 9). Height: 5'9". Weight: 72kg (159lbs). Most recent (pre-lockdown) 5/3/1 lifts - Bench 72.5kg (160lbs), OHP 47.5kg (105lbs), DL: 150kg (330lbs), squat 102.5kg (220lbs). Have read most of the sidebar at least once. Going back through the essential books. Lockdown Now in week 5. As mentioned in my previous OYS, my ex is having to come to my flat to see our kids. Not ideal, but it hasn’t driven me mad. Have actually quite enjoyed this f…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/20 09:26 AM
1

"I know this is just pointless rage and you can’t manufacture desire but would it kill her to show more interest?" Yeah, this is a classic covert contract. You behave in one way and you resent her not responding in the way she "should". You need to be direct about what you want. She'll probably reject you, but it's not her job to keep you happy. That's your job.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/20 05:31 PM
1

Don't trust my frame enough to take the risk. Took a long time to drag myself out of that quicksand.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/20 06:43 AM
1

OYS 22 Stats: Age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (5, 8, 9). Height: 5'9". Weight: 72kg (159lbs). Most recent (pre-lockdown) 5/3/1 lifts - Bench 72.5kg (160lbs), OHP 47.5kg (105lbs), DL: 150kg (330lbs), squat 102.5kg (220lbs). Have read most of the sidebar at least once. Going back through the essential books, especially NMMNG. Lockdown Now in week 4 of lockdown. Due to strict controls, my ex and I can’t transfer the children between us. As I have more space, the children stay here and she …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/20 09:45 AM
1

Agreed on the change from 24 to 32. A different animal. I'm loving S&S and would like to continue with it even once the gym reopens. Have you mixed it with other lifts?
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/20 06:48 PM
2

Wow, 40. I'll get there one day. Hadn't occurred to me that there was a discrepancy between my kbs and lifts. I've messed around with kbs for a few years so probably have some foundational strength/technique there, more than with barbells, anyway. Or it might just be a body composition thing. I'm surprisingly good at deadlifts, comfortably lifting more than twice my weight, yet my presses suck.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/20 04:03 PM
1

Yeah I have scales. OK, I'll work out my bfp, at least to get a baseline. Putting weight on has, so far, been hard work.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/20 01:35 PM
1

No, but I have visible abs, so trying to maintain a calorie surplus to bulk.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/20 01:26 PM
2

OYS 21 Stats: Age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (5, 8, 9). Height: 5'9". Weight: 72kg (159lbs). Most recent 5/3/1 lifts - Bench 72.5kg (160lbs), OHP 47.5kg (105lbs), DL: 150kg (330lbs), squat 102.5kg (220lbs). Have read most of the sidebar at least once. Going back through the essential books, especially NMMNG. I live in a country which has been on lockdown for a few weeks and I haven’t done an OYS in a while because I didn’t think there was much point - few opportunities for progress. Bu…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/20 10:19 AM
3

Yep, me too. OP doesn't sidebar, waits until Chad fucks her. Lost time, sanity and is still a faggot. Might divorce her. OP sidebars. Divorces her anyways later, but loses time and sanity. I was somewhere between these two. I held on for A YEAR and lost sanity, confidence, sense of self. It was unsalvageable yet I clung on, hoping I could turn it round. I couldn't! Six months into rebuilding and still a long way to go. I'm no longer angry with her, just with myself for wasting so much time.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/20 07:55 PM
1

Totally agree. Monk mode in this context would reflect a lack of abundance and a reliance on others' opinions. i.e. "I need to wait until I'm perfect before venturing out into the world where others will judge me. There are only a limited number of options out there so I want to be as good as possible for each one." So yes, though I'm no good at this, I'm only going to get better by doing it more.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/20 08:44 AM
5

I decided to try some negative inquiry: "what's so bad about the smell? It's not like you have to hang out with them, and besides they only visit once a month tops". "What's so bad about the smell?" is negative enquiry, the rest is DEERing. what tools are appropriate when WISNIFG falls short? WISNIFG didn't fall short - you fell into a battle of reasons. Broken record appropriate here. Or, of course, good old STFU.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/03/20 10:01 AM
15

OYS 20 Stats: Age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (5, 8, 9). Height: 5'9". Weight: 72kg (159lbs). Most recent 5/3/1 lifts - Bench 72.5kg (160lbs), OHP 47.5kg (105lbs), DL: 150kg (330lbs), squat 102.5kg (220lbs). Have read most of the sidebar at least once. Going back through the essential books, especially NMMNG. Full days free of cigarettes: 2 Last week’s OYS was about how I needed to get back to basics. I’d made progress in some areas of my life, but there were still glaring red areas whi…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/03/20 09:49 AM
7

Cool. See you here in a few years.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/20 07:43 AM
1

Thanks for the tip. A friend of mine had a similar experience. Will look into it.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/20 11:49 AM
2

OYS 19 Stats: Age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (5, 8, 9). Height: 5'9". Weight: 72kg (159lbs). Most recent 5/3/1 lifts - Bench 72.5kg (160lbs), OHP 47.5kg (105lbs), DL: 150kg (330lbs), squat 102.5kg (220lbs). Have read most of the sidebar at least once. Going back through the essential books, especially NMMNG. A mixture this week. My weekend was good. I felt like I hit a good balance of activities: gym and personal projects (making a short film) on Saturday, a date on Sunday morning then…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/20 09:36 AM
2

OYS 18 Stats: Age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (5, 8, 9). Height: 5'9". Weight: 72kg (159lbs). Most recent 5x5 lifts - Bench 70kg (154lbs), rows: 70kg (154lbs), DL: 142.5kg (314lbs), squat 102.5kg (226lbs). Have read most of the sidebar at least once. Going back through the essential books now, especially NMMNG. Physical: This is the best area for me at the moment. Consistently going to the gym and BJJ and doing yoga at home a few times a week. Have restarted tracking calories and take s…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/02/20 11:58 AM
1

OYS 17 Stats: Age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (5, 8, 9). Height: 5'9". Weight: 72kg (159lbs). Most recent 5x5 lifts - Bench 70kg (154lbs), rows: 70kg (154lbs), DL: 142.5kg (314lbs), squat 102.5kg (226lbs). Have read most of the sidebar at least once. Going back through the essential books now. Writing this on mobile phone in an airport departure lounge, so will likely be shorter than usual. Have spent the last couple of days in another country for a trade show. It's been a good check fo…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/02/20 11:56 AM
2

Once every three days I take a dried mushroom weighing somewhere between 0.1 and 0.2g. This is basically the James Fadiman protocol. I haven't read about any side effects and haven't experienced any. At that dose you don't feel any obvious effects. Maybe a slight warmth at some point during the first hour for the first couple of times. It's difficult to say what has caused which changes, but I started microdosing late last year and I've been a lot more stable mentally. Friendlier, less caught up…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/02/20 03:08 PM
1

OYS 16 Stats: Age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (4, 8, 9). Height: 5'8"-5'9". Weight: 71kg (157lbs). Most recent 5x5 lifts - Bench 70kg (154lbs), rows: 70kg (154lbs), DL: 142.5kg (314lbs), squat 102.5kg (226lbs). Have read most of the sidebar at least once. Going back through the essential books now. Social/dating: No dates this week but several potential options from Tinder. I might see one of them this week, I might not. No big deal either way. I’m following Pook's advice to date onesel…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/02/20 10:24 AM
5

OYS 15 Stats: Age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (4, 8, 9). Height: 5'9"ish. Weight: 72kg (159lbs). Most recent 5x5 lifts - Bench 70kg (154lbs), rows: 70kg (154lbs), DL: 142.5kg (314lbs), squat 102.5kg (226lbs) Social/dating. Went on a few dates with some girl. I knew from the first time I met her that I didn't find her attractive, but she asked to see me again, so I went with it. Why? Because I didn't have anything better to do. Why the fuck didn't I have something better to do? Dating ha…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/20 12:59 PM
2

Yeah, will do. One of my goals is to make more male friends here, so I'm not totally averse to the odd sausage fest.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/01/20 09:14 AM
2

OK. You've both sold me on going to more meetups. The beach soccer one I've been to was... Light on women.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/01/20 09:57 PM
2

Thanks for the link. This all makes sense.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/01/20 12:41 PM
2

OYS 14 Stats: Age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (4, 8, 9). Height: 5'8"-5'9". Weight: 71kg (157lbs). Most recent 5x5 lifts - Bench 70kg (154lbs), rows: 70kg (154lbs), DL: 142.5kg (314lbs), squat 102.5kg (226lbs) Last posted to OYS two weeks ago. I mentioned that I was realising that I had issues/fears around sex and women and that I "should make a plan to get past that". SBIII called me out on why I hadn't done that already. So, I joined Tinder and have been meeting women. I feel ambivale…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/01/20 08:56 AM
1

Urgh. You got me, you fucker.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/01/20 02:00 PM
1

Yeah. I know in my head that's stupid, but still feel that way. Need to form a plan to get past this.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/01/20 12:34 PM
1

Things I forgot to mention: Yoga: feeling creaky and old. Have started a 30 day yoga course on YouTube. Will do it at least 3 days a week. Loosening hips and back will be particularly good for bjj. Sex: recognising that I have big issues around sex (Mr Nice Guy). On way back from home country I had a night alone in a new city. It was dead as just after New year. Went to a strip club hoping there might be "extras". There weren't, but I felt the first new tits and arse I've felt in 15 years. Still…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/01/20 09:10 AM
1

OYS 12 Stats: Age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (4, 8, 9). Height: 5'8"-5'9". Weight: 71kg (157lbs). Most recent 5x5 lifts - Bench 70kg (154lbs), rows: 70kg (154lbs), DL: 142.5kg (314lbs), squat 102.5kg (226lbs) Spent much of the last week back in my home country seeing family. It felt great, and underlined how much I’d allowed by dysfunctional relationship with my ex to get in the way of my relationships with other people. A few signs of change too: this time if I was tired, I’d just go …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/01/20 08:48 AM
1

OYS 12 Stats: Age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (4, 8, 9). Height: 5'8"-5'9". Weight: 71kg (157lbs). Most recent 5x5 lifts - Bench 70kg (154lbs), rows: 70kg (154lbs), DL: 142.5kg (314lbs), squat 102.5kg (226lbs) Kept short as writing on phone on a train. So the first Christmas since separation was fine. Made sure the kids had fun. Didn't mope around. All good. Now back in the UK for the first time in a year. Seeing friends and family. A friend said that I had a different feel about me, th…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/12/19 03:02 PM
1

Allen Carr's "The Easy Way to Stop Drinking" pushed me from thinking that my drinking was a problem to knowing that it was out of hand. Haven't had a drink in over 3 years and I don't miss it. Might be worth you checking it out.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/12/19 03:53 PM
1

OYS 11 Stats: Age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (4, 8, 9). Height: 5'8"-5'9". Weight: 71kg (157lbs). Most recent 5x5 lifts - Bench 70kg (154lbs), rows: 70kg (154lbs), DL: 142.5kg (314lbs), squat 102.5kg (226lbs). Best thing this week and emerging mission? When I was a teenager I wanted to be a director. I didn't do anything about it, obviously, as I was a total beta coward. Have thought theoretically about films ever since. This week I actually got off my arse and made something. I'm off …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/12/19 01:41 PM
1

Re phone, maybe take a look at Cal Newport's 'Digital Minimalism'.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/12/19 11:42 AM
5

Up vote for mushrooms. You can grow them yourself (depending on where you live). Start with a very low dose and read up on it first. Psychedelic Explorers guide, Michael Pollen etc.
/r/askMRP24/12/19 11:24 AM
1

Your attempts all sound very familiar... That's an interesting way of looking at it: rather than seeing it as an isolated bad habit, changing your whole attitude to how you treat or value yourself.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/12/19 06:45 PM
1

OYS 10 Stats: Age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (4, 8, 9). Height: 5'8"-5'9". Weight: 71kg (157lbs). Most recent 5x5 lifts - Bench 70kg (154lbs), rows: 70kg (154lbs), DL: 142.5kg (314lbs), squat 102.5kg (226lbs). Mental/emotional health Noticing small changes in my attitude to life. Cooking new things. Buying different spices to experiment with. Pathetically small things, but signs of something. Hassle with my STBXW this weekend. She was upset around the kids about something I'd done or h…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/12/19 05:46 PM
1

This is great advice and I'm finally realising it for my situation. It makes long term sense FOR ME to have an amicable relationship with my ex, even though short term me wants nothing to do with her. Also, the point about being attractive to her is spot on. That is now irrelevant. Careful of ego here.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/12/19 11:28 AM
3

OYS 9. Stats: Age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (4, 8, 9). Height: 5'8"-5'9". Weight: 71kg (157lbs). Most recent 5x5 lifts - Bench 70kg (154lbs), rows: 67.5kg (149lbs), DL: 140kg (309lbs), squat 100kg (220lbs). Mental/emotional health Clouds lifted this weekend and I just felt better. Hard to explain, but my mind was calmer and I stopped arguing with my ex-wife in my head. Obviously that's great, but I've been in this place before, and it always went bad again after a few weeks. I'm not s…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/12/19 09:29 AM
1

Thanks for your input. Yes, one of my goals for this week is to get to a meetup group, or at least find a good one. Cheers.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/12/19 09:02 AM
1

You and me have almost the exact same stats for lifts, weight and height. I also have anxiety which needs controlling. Strong recommendation for bjj. After each class I walk out lighter, clearer.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/19 09:33 PM
1

Another thing I'm not owning: still smoking.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/19 03:19 PM
1

OYS 8 Stats: Age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (4,8,9). Height: 5’8” - 5’9”. Weight 71kg (157lbs). Lifts: StrongLifts 5x5. Most recent 5x5s were - Bench: 70kg (154lbs), Rows: 67.5kg (149lbs), DL: 140kg (309lbs), Squat: 100kg (220lbs). Summary of my marriage for context: I clung on desperately as it fell apart and my wife took up with another guy. Final end was mid-August. Was completely without frame in the marriage and, I realise, without frame for my whole life. Now building my first fr…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/19 03:18 PM
5

OYS 8 Stats: Age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (4, 8 and 9). Height: 5’9” ish. Weight: 69kg (152lbs). Lifts, StrongLifts 5x5. Most recent 5x5 lifts were: Bench: 65kg (143lbs); Squat: 92.5kg (204lbs); DL: 120kg (265lbs); OHP: 40kg (88lbs); Rows: 65kg (143lbs). Not a great week. Came down with a stinking head cold and it completely drained my energy. All of my goals and plans went out the window. Shit all over the place, unowned. Didn’t do anything stupidly bad, but didn’t do much good eith…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/10/19 09:02 AM
1

Thanks for the input. Last year I switched from SL to a six day PPL routine for a while. I may do that again, but I'm wary of chopping and changing too much. Will do SL until the end of the year and then reevaluate.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/10/19 05:27 PM
4

OYS 7 Stats: Age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (4, 8, 9). Height: 5’8”-5’9”. Weight 69kg (152lbs). Lifts: StrongLifts 5x5. Most recent 5x5 lifts were – Bench: 65kg (143lbs), Rows: 65kg (143lbs), DL: 115 kg (254 lbs), Squat: 92.5kg (204 lbs) Physical Called out last week by u/RedPillGlasses on how small I am. He’s right. Have been aggressively eating ever since. Extra meals, oatmeal with protein powder, bag of nuts at my desk etc. Keeping up with Stronglifts and now hitting PBs after a del…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/10/19 01:21 PM
2

Take a look at meet up.com and see what's in your area. Most likely there'll be some kind of science/philosophy/sceptic group. It will all be dudes, but having a bunch of dudes to hang out with is good too.
/r/askMRP20/10/19 07:11 AM
1

Don't know exactly but it's not a focus right now - as you say, I need to put on mass. My waist is under 30 inches, I have veiny arms and a six pack under favourable light.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/10/19 03:53 PM
1

Thanks for your comment, man. Yeah. I'm tiny. I convince myself that I eat loads but I obviously don't. Not fucking around with IF anymore. Will keep up the BJJ as it kills a load of birds with one stone - it's fun, increased physical confidence, company of other men etc.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/10/19 03:16 PM
3

OYS 6 Haven’t done this for a couple of weeks and I can sense that I’m avoiding it as I know I’m drifting. So, back on the horse. Stats: age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (4, 8, 9). Height – 5’8”/5’9”, weight 68kg (150lb). Lifts: StrongLifts 5x5 – have hit beginners’ targets and approaching PBs after a deload period. Physical Finally bought myself some scales so I can monitor my weight. I’m currently around 68kg. Short term target of 70kg, then a goal of 74kg. Once there I’ll reassess. Ha…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/10/19 07:13 AM
1

Rejection would work as well because I'd then realise that it was no big deal and nothing to be afraid of? You're completely right about the relationship with my dad. I'm responsible for it. I accept it for what it is, or I take the responsibility for changing it. Either way, it is in my control and should not be a source of anxiety.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/09/19 06:39 AM
1

Lots to think about here (or maybe the opposite - I'm already thinking way too much). Thanks for taking the time to reply. Really valuable. I "know" intellectually that you're right... It's internalising it and feeling it to be true. Going on dates is my first step in that aversion therapy.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/09/19 06:36 AM
1

Yes, it's that enmeshment which is the worst. Even when the interactions are non-dramatic they are still the worst part of my day and have a half life where I hamster about her life and actions. I'll keep an eye on this and move on to a better solution as soon as we can.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/09/19 06:33 AM
1

OYS 5 Stats: age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (4, 8 and 9). Lifts: have hit Stronglifts beginners targets and currently building back up after a break in the summer. Read: all the sidebar books at least once. Think I’ve read all the posts at least once. Cycling through them all again. Currently WISNIFG is making the most difference. Separation: 5 weeks since separating. Things are now calming down into a new normal. We’re both seeing the kids every day, which unfortunately means I have t…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/09/19 07:44 AM
3

OYS 4 Stats: age 41, separated from wife (38). 3 kids (4, 8 and 9). Lifts: have hit Stronglifts beginners targets and currently building back up after a break in the summer. Read: all the sidebar books at least once. Think I’ve read all the posts at least once. Cycling through them all again. Separation: 4 weeks since separating. Life continues to improve. I was so scared of this, but, of course, it’s fine. It’s already much better than in the marriage endgame, and I can easily see that I can no…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/09/19 01:17 PM
1

Yep, I've used it before. It's brilliant so long as you stay on top of it. Once it starts sliding you're fucked. Also the weekly and daily reviews are key. Needs to be kept fresh or you won't use it.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/19 12:04 PM
1

OYS 3 Stats: Age 41. Separated from wife (38). 3 kids: 4, 8 and 9. Bodyfat: low, but don’t have a measurement. Concentrating on getting bigger. Lifts: have hit the Stronglifts beginners targets but currently building back up after having August off. Read: most of the sidebar at least twice. Separation: 3 weeks since separating. Realising that the less my STBEW is in my life the better. Keeping contact minimal but not hostile. Have been angry and indignant this week about the way things turned ou…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/19 08:31 AM
7

I have three boys under 10. As with dogs, they play up when they're under-exercised. When I get them out early in the day for something physical they're much more chilled out in the afternoon and more likely to calmly get on with their own thing.
/r/askMRP07/09/19 07:38 AM
-1

I think the sarcastic answer fine, though it depends on the delivery. Big difference between saying it with eye contact and a smirk or spitting it out between clenched teeth. STFU also your friend here. You're under no obligation to respond to stupid things your wife (or anyone else) says.
/r/askMRP05/09/19 09:06 AM
2

Focusing on myself for now. Plan is getting out there and meeting people in general, being more social. Can see the benefit of quickly sleeping with someone else (realising there are women out there, undermining oneitis etc) but wary that I haven't built the frame for it and could easily fall into looking for female approval.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/09/19 11:29 AM
3

Re building frame, there's something similar in NMMNG. Don't have the book to hand, but it's along the lines of asking yourself, "how would a healthy male behave in this situation?"
/r/MarriedRedPill03/09/19 10:26 AM
1

OYS 2 Background: I’ve posted here before a few times but never fully committed. Didn’t take OPSEC seriously and had an account linked to my email address. Starting afresh with a new private email to avoid doxing. Stats: Age 41. Separated from wife (38). 3 kids: 4, 8 and 9. Bodyfat: no idea. I’m on the skinny side. Lifts: have hit the Stronglifts beginners goals. Read: most (all?) of the sidebar at least twice. MRP: been “aware” for 1 year. Usual faggot story that I implemented some things (lift…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/09/19 08:57 AM
3

OYS 1 Background: I’ve posted here before a few times but never fully committed. Didn’t take OPSEC seriously and had an account linked to my email address. Starting afresh with a new private email to avoid doxing. Stats: Age 41. 3 kids: 4, 8 and 9. Bodyfat: no idea. I’m on the skinny side. Lifts: have hit the Stronglifts beginners goals. Read: most (all?) of the sidebar at least twice. MRP: been “aware” for 1 year. Usual faggot story that I implemented some things (lifting, daily resets etc) but…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/08/19 07:57 AM
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