TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

elvn-elvn Archive

View 0 posts and 161 comments by elvn-elvn on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
7

Underrated comment
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 09:18 PM
16

Ohhhhhh, so that’s why my nex did that! I had said I preferred to talk about important things over text/phone because it was more rational than emotional and I felt more in control and he put a stop to that. A moment of clarity lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 03:31 PM
6

My dad has type 1 diabetes too, and it’s a similar situation to this guy, just with physical abuse. My dad has definitely abused my mom, me, and our dogs when his blood sugar is low, and occasionally violently destroys objects or throws things into the wall. When it’s super low but not to the point of collapse, it’s like being drunk, so I think it’s a similar situation. It’ll bring out these toxic behaviors in someone who’s already toxic, but a good person will be able to hold it together.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 12:42 AM
13

I think they do this for most emotional responses; they take out the “because I.” She always yells at me (because I...), she’s mad at me (because I...), she’s insecure (because I...)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 04:41 PM
12

For some reason this was something I believed in super strongly even before I discovered FDS; it was pretty much the only boundary I had in my relationship with my NVM ex. Unfortunately, nothing kills the joy of creating more than emotional abuse lol, I’m slowly trying to get back to the level I was at before it got too hard. I use pseudonyms for most of my work, but I did plan on using my last name for copyright, credits, etc., even when I still wanted to take my husband’s last name personally.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 03:16 AM
61

Watching YouTubers whose boyfriends become part of their channel kills me every time. I don’t want to a partner involved in my creative work, full stop. That’s my effort, my heart and soul, my baby, that I love and put all of myself into. Why do I want my boyfriend there to slowly take over my yt channel as teenage girls call us relationship goals and beg me to have him on more? Pepper him into everything I do? Even a HVM can turn on you, and I want that space to always be mine and just mine. As…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 02:56 AM
14

Definitely! I think for a lot of women who aren’t interested in OLD (for lots of good reasons!) rotational dating can become impossible—when you meet men organically through school/work/hobbies/mutual friends, there probably aren’t too many you’re interested in to begin with, you can sus out a lot of low value traits before even going out (which makes a date with them redundant), and even if you’re interested, reciprocation isn’t guaranteed! Meaning it’s safe to assume you might land yourself in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 06:47 PM
74

Re: the last point, I think the reason FDS recommends rotational dating/dating multiple people is so you don’t get too emotionally attached to one man and you aren’t in a position to be too available to him, so you can refuse him more easily if red flags pop up and have an easier time vetting him? If you’re not comfortable with rotational dating (I’m not! too much time), you can figure out other ways to accomplish those things. For example, if you find that doing certain things with a man, like …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 04:05 PM
86

My first year at university, a (gay) male classmate from my major who lived in the dorm room next door asked for me, specifically, to bring him food from the dining hall, medicine, and something to drink. My roommates were his childhood friend and another girl in our major, he had roommates, but I guess my people pleasing pickme-ism was so strong that even he knew he could easily take advantage of me. Even at the time it sat really poorly with me—he had never made any effort to be an actual frie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 03:11 PM
36

“Hey babe, because I can’t do anything that benefits you if I don’t get anything in return, I’ll give you a back massage (a free, sweet, easy thing to do for someone you love) if you buy me a ($60-$70) video game”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 01:46 AM
109

It reads as very porn addict-y to me. He can’t get off normally so he wants to put weird random stuff inside her because it’s ~wrong~ and ~dirty~ and new. My first thought reading this was that it will eventually escalate as he gets bored with “safer objects,” and they’ll be arguing about whether or not he can use really dangerous things like glass bottles.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 01:45 AM
236

Uncomfortable sex stuff aside, she asked him for a back massage and he made her buy him a game for it, so, y’know, in case you’re wondering what quality of guy he is. ~Relationships are transactional~ Edit: no she didn’t lol, he offered her a back massage for the sole purpose of making her buy him a game, which makes him look even worse, actually
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 01:40 AM
10

WAIT wHaT I just noticed this! what?¿?¿?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 01:34 AM
30

I’m planning on waiting at least a year if I ever date again! Honestly at first I considered until marriage, but I know sexually vetting is important. I’m glad it’s working for other ladies, I’ll definitely go through with it now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 05:56 PM
3

Slowly putting myself back together :) my therapist does CBT, and I really like her! It almost feels more like class than talk therapy, I have to take notes, I have homework and assigned readings. I haven’t had a good therapist before and the way she does things really resonates with me! It’s definitely worth it to find the right one. Sending you lots of love 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 12:39 AM
9

I’m experiencing similar things at a much younger age! I had been very happily single for 5 years before I met my ex-boyfriend and on the surface I was embodying most of FDS’s principles without even knowing them, but he lovebombed me so hard and I fell fast, and I hadn’t learned enough about red flags and was general too naive/inexperienced. I tolerated so much garbage even though I knew I had been happier single. My therapist and I have been working a lot in this area, she’s having me read a b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 12:18 AM
13

Too much creepy sex stuff? LVM will want to talk about the IT group sex scene even if they haven’t read it lol, also most of his protagonists are just assholes who treat women like garbage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 09:54 PM
7

I’ve been noticing a rise in guys obsessed with the American Psycho movie? (reading is not for Gen Z men period in my experience)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 09:52 PM
14

I’ve never read it so I can’t give a good analysis of why ~exactly~ it’s such a big one, but I think it has a lot to do with how the protagonist sees himself/treats women/the particular portrayal of male angst that resonates with NVM/LVM? I think it’s a particularly narcissistic/male centered coming of age that affirms women and other people as a whole as being unimportant side characters to further their stories, and being an asshole as part of the ~experience of male growth~. My most recent ex…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 02:58 PM
120

“I know this because h e m a k e s m e c o o k f o r h i m”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 02:04 PM
58

Catcher in the Rye lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 01:57 PM
29

Literally.......literally every female woman I’ve met has all five of these. If she’s not naturally thicc she’s doing squats, and the other 4 just come built in. I’ve never met a woman obsessed with a male ex? Ever? What is this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 03:41 AM
68

„accidentally” My ex did that while ~taking my virginity~. Gotta take advantage of my girlfriend being confused and nervous and assault her as much as I can!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 03:33 AM
2

Oof, Max pushed back super hard when Lorelei turned him down, and proposed to her to stop a fight? Weirdly I think Jason fits the definition of HV the best lol. Pursues her, is serious about her, wants to announce the relationship and go public before she does, wealthy, nice clean apartment, well dressed, ambitious, tries to take Lorelei to a nice restaurant and pay (she turns him down), escalates commitment (giving her his key).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 11:34 PM
0

He was my favorite too! Were any of the guys high value on that show????
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 08:57 PM
1

For people like me with an anxious attachment style and want to keep their walls up for their own good (even if the man isn’t pressuring you for sex (yet)), here’s the list I made for myself going forward. This is mostly about pre-exclusivity, but I’d plan on waiting around a year to have sex with an exclusive bf so he has plenty of time to play his asswipe card beforehand. Before Exclusivity: -No paying for anything at all period -No casual dates -All dates must be “events” (meeting at x place …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 04:50 PM
6

Literally all of Rory’s boyfriends in Gilmore Girls, I don’t even need to explain
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 04:16 PM
12

In true LVM fashion, he didn’t give a shit lol. If he wanted to, he would’ve! Onwards and upwards (hopefully)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 12:45 AM
21

My ex boyfriend’s mother wouldn’t allow my ex to come see me when I got very sick at the beginning of March.......from them. I took care of my boyfriend and his family while they were sick, and got sick 14 days later. My parents are high risk so no one in my house could care for me. I have permanent breathing problems now. My boyfriend was allowed to go to parties with his friends constantly, even though his friend’s parents had tested positive. My sister and her husband (out of state) were quar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 12:30 AM
13

Why you gotta call old me out like that lol? He did end up physically abusive in the end though, so it was full circle
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 08:40 PM
18

My ex boyfriend did the exact same thing—getting obsessed with his best friend’s girlfriend, comparing everything I did to her. Led to the same feelings. She also had no female friends, and no boundaries with any of her boyfriend’s friends, and texted them all one on one and hung out with them without her boyfriend. They’re all in love with her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 11:41 PM
22

At least she’d get 8 crappy gifts instead of 1, that’s markedly more effort just because of the quantity 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 10:19 PM
4

I’m glad to see other women have similar pmdd symptoms! I always assumed but it’s just me irl. Funny how it was always so severe with boyfriends but it’s not too difficult to cope on my own!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 09:25 PM
455

He turned down her list. He tUrNeD dOwn hEr liSt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 06:20 PM
29

Beautiful, perfect, lovely
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 06:19 PM
113

Exactly! Her point about her friend making her a really useful item that costs a decent amount of money and requires skill and effort being a good handmade gift is spot on. “he already started making her gift this year,” the hell, nothing he’s made her takes more than 2 minutes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 06:19 PM
161

This is so fucking validating. Communication about these kinds of things should be about the specifics early on (“These are the kind of gifts I like,” “this is the way I like to be comforted when I’m worked up,” etc.) not about doing them entirely. No pal, we’re in a relationship, I’m not asking you to read my mind, gifts/sweet surprises/nice dates are standard. Also, most women I know are being very obvious about what they want, their partner is just ignoring them lol. “But babe, I thought you …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 03:40 PM
16

I wouldn’t even be friends with him, please just cut him out. To me at least, this behavior reads very much as him being sweet to you because he wanted to have sex with you, and then pulling back when it was clear you didn’t want to right away. Take his real actions for what they are, a shitty person who doesn’t deserve your time and energy. He wants to “stay friends” because he wants to keep you as an option for hooking up, and he can probably tell you’re interested so he might be able to wear …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 05:01 AM
45

This sex doll is treated better than me in my last relationship lol, I was a glorified sex toy but at least she gets jewelry and he doesn’t expect her to cook
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 03:48 AM
1

I think a lot of us who have converted to FDS have been there, this all sounds overly familiar to me. I think this post and the kind of sentiments she’s expressing are the opposite extreme reaction to what we talk about here—she understands that partners are being shitty and not meeting her needs, so she just wants to give up and be okay with that rather than make a big change. I’ve certainly been there. Even as I get further and further into FDS, it can feel overwhelming to try and navigate thi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 03:41 AM
58

This reminds me of one time when I was talking to my friend about that one Maroon 5 song that goes “Aren’t we too old for games/aren’t we too old to mess around” and she was like “YES. YOU ARE. Adam Levine, you’re in your late 30’s!!!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 03:26 AM
13

That second picture is a renaissance painting, look at the way the green in the flowers perfectly brings out kitty’s eyes! Stunning. A masterpiece.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 10:22 PM
52

Schrodinger’s Man lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 06:37 PM
8

This is absolutely incredible omg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 02:25 AM
16

Never again! For friendships too. I held my roommate every time she cried, took her to the hospital when she was sick and took care of her the whole week after, and left the door to my room open so she could get me if she needed me. After I transferred, I went down to our city for a day to hang out for the first time in months, and she left me waiting in a park in 30° weather for 4 hours. My oldest friend went through a mild surgery a few months ago, and I was hospitalized for mental health afte…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 09:52 PM
15

This this this this this this this this! I remember every time my ex would say, “well, I don’t ask you for anything, I’m happy just being with you,” my response would be, “Yeah, every need you have is already being met. Why would you need to ask for anything?” Eventually he gaslit me out of feeling that way, but I was absolutely right. We deserve partners (and friends, because I’ve seen this behavior equally in female friendships too!) who don’t need to be asked or begged or told to meet us half…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 08:59 PM
18

I think this is a really good distinction! To clarify, the only times I’ve cited specific things with people is when I’m trying to call out a pattern of a lack of consideration, and the motivation is never to say “I do these things for you, so you should feel guilty and do them for me,” it’s “I do xyz for you, but you never seem to do xyz for me, and that makes me feel hurt and taken advantage of.” Obviously post-FDS, this conversation won’t need to happen anymore, and that kind of treatment wil…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 07:31 PM
139

Men hate us lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 06:34 PM
49

Oh, I absolutely agree! I know these people aren’t good friends or partners—a la FDS, if they wanted to, they would. The main reason I commented what I did was to kind of ask everyone’s thoughts/raise awareness on people using “why are you keeping score/transactional relationship” or “~respect my boundaries~” as a manipulation tactic to make you feel guilty for asking for your needs met.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 04:35 PM
243

I had a high school teacher who was talking about her forever girlfriend proposal, and he literally threw the ring down on the couch while she was working out and said “It’s there if you want it.” I remember telling my ex about it, and he loved that idea, loved it, said it’s exactly how he wanted to propose.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 04:25 PM
140

I’m torn on this one, I see where your interpretation comes in your comment (more on the end of NVM/LVM “I put kindness in I get sex out”), but my knee jerk reaction to this kind of thinking is different. This sentiment has mostly been expressed to me by NV/LV friends and partners when I’m asking for the common decency I’ve extended to them. My ex boyfriend would berate me for “keeping score” when I asked for attention/affection/care and cited the ways I provided for him in similar situations. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 04:16 PM
56

I’ve seen a few video essays on the concept of “adaptational attractiveness,” and for female characters especially, source material described plainness, chubbiness, or ugliness rarely carries over into adaptation. Hermione is another example of this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 03:59 PM
40

Because their moms coddle them and let them eat mac n cheese and chicken nuggets for 20 some years, so they aren’t used to eating big boy food. It’s about not wanting to say no to their precious baby and making them grow up. I’m the youngest of two girls, and my parents would make us eat our vegetables in order to leave the table. I see it already with my sister’s two sons—they eat only meat and carbs, none of the same discipline there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 03:16 PM
12

A classic 👌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 05:59 AM
37

Back when I was a wee college lass, I had the Cancer zodiac symbol in my Tinder bio, and a guy thought it was supposed to be like, 69 lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 08:42 PM
9

Why does she have to call me out like this lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 03:51 AM
31

This was my entire last relationship. It wasn’t even just “I’m sooo bad,” it was sobbing, wailing on the floor, and tantrums, that later escalated to physical violence on his end.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 10:19 PM
5

Absolutely this, perfect way to put it. All this mindset ever gets women is all the labor they would do before + the guy’s half. I can’t count how many times I felt obligated to “step up” and complete emotional labor for exes or male friends because, wow, isn’t this empowering? You’re an empowered woman, you can do it yourself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 01:33 PM
35

Ahhhh the guy I was dating when I was a freshly 18 baby pulled the exact same excuse on me and I bought it, and two months after we had broken up I had a dramatic turn to camera epiphany moment where it was like, “No....no way are you that dumb.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 04:44 AM
44

What is „club goblin”? Like, going clubbing? Joining too many clubs? I thought it was the latter, but after typing it out, the former seems more correct lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 11:03 PM
19

Nah it’s like, a single player game but you can pick the NPCs who play on your team? There’s a whole roster of some 30 characters to pick from and he didn’t pick any guys, literally just an entire team of hot cartoon girls for him to gawk at all day
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 09:24 PM
26

I had gotten my ex Fire Emblem for his birthday, because he insisted that he loved ~the strategic gameplay~. The nauseous, disgusting feeling when his entire team was big breasted anime girls made me feel icky down to my core.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 09:20 PM
15

“mostly because they are,” oh my god. oh my gooooooood.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 09:08 PM
13

I’ve seen a few, I think Brad Mando did a video reacting to some quarantine hair cuts and some of them were boyfriend ones? A few were what you’d expect—men not trying very hard or listening to what their girlfriends were asking, I think he liked one of the boyfriend haircuts, but the girl herself was not happy lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 12:29 AM
14

Me too! Still a little hard (about a month and a half out from the breakup), but he was absolutely abusive and pulled a lot of horrible crap. Excited to have found FDS and in the future, either being happy by myself or never having to be with someone that thinks going to the grocery store and having me buy him food is a “real date.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 07:08 PM
42

God, the worst time this happened to me—he promised he would pay attention to me and not just play games ~just this once~, but his friend called him up and asked him to play Hearthstone with him, so of course, babe pls, you don’t want to keep me from my friends do you? etc etc Because he was being a massive dick and I was pretty upset, he kept really loudly and angrily asking, “Are you okay?!” over headset so his friends could hear. I wasn’t even being dramatic, just sitting quietly and not bein…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 07:00 PM
13

Since FDS, I’m trying to reframe it from the perspective that I can still think it’s cute (provided it isn’t paired with more insidious or malicious behaviors), but that it means that person isn’t partner material.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 06:47 PM
156

As I tried to explain to my ex about 10 million times: if we were in a really established relationship and we mostly went out on proper dates when we hung out, a night in with some take out where we played games together or I kept him company and read/drew while he played would be nice and fun. But when it’s every single. single. fucking. time. and the time you take out of your busy schedule is to stare at your boyfriend playing video games, it’s pathetic. It’s nice this time girl, but this will…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 06:44 PM
25

An offshoot of this that I’ve been curious about—I noticed in my last relationship, and probably with lots of men before him, I found certain childish behaviors cute and endearing. Things like little incompetences or being scared easily and stuff like that? I don’t know what it was that socialized me to think that being childish or lazy was cute, they got us bad lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 04:40 PM
47

I had the same weird reaction? Usually these posts are devastating but this one just really hit me in the “oh my gosh, I’m so relieved I’ll never have to deal with that again” or in my case, that I was dumped before that could be my future
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 06:42 PM
236

Normally these kinds of posts on FDS make me angry and depressed and scared of ever dating again, but this is the first NVM post since my breakup where the behavior is so, so, so eerily, unequivocally the exact kind of shit I could have seen my ex pulling had we stayed together, and I feel lighter and happier for being single. That could have been me and I’m so happy I don’t have to deal with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 05:11 PM
8

In school colors, of course ;)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 11:03 PM
14

Ooh, can we make this a tiara opportunity??? I think we can make this a tiara opportunity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 10:23 PM
19

Yes, absolutely perfect. I might commandeer this idea and do graduation announcements like this in a few years 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 10:05 PM
79

My master’s degree will look better next to me in photos than any man could dream to ☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 07:26 PM
73

I learned this the hard way ahhhh. A combination of future dangling and love bombing and I lost it for horrible sex, sexual assault via acts I didn’t consent to and couldn’t process because I was overwhelmed and scared, a pregnancy scare, and then the guy proceeded to date me for 9 more months and never have sex with me again. Don’t tell them 😣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 07:24 PM
13

Oof, I feel that. My ex was developing a game with his lazy friends who can’t even meet their own deadlines—at least his friends are programmers, he doesn’t have any skills or pursue anything outside gaming. I once said I wanted to get him a mandolin because he expressed interest in learning to play, and he was super angry because he wanted to learn it ~later~ when he was ~older~ and not ~now.~ 24, one hs part time job, no degree, lives with his parents. The thing that drove me insane is that my…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 02:24 AM
130

See, there’s a difference—I love childish things, I collect stuffed animals, I play Pokemon and other games. But you know what? I have a bachelor’s degree and saving for my masters, I freelance and am working on my own business, I take classes and practice hard on hobbies like language learning and playing more instruments, I read and watch classic movies and documentaries, I love world news. Any cutesy, childish, obnoxious things I like are just secondary to who am as a person. I’m sorry (not r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 01:18 AM
3

Pickme family situations probably force a different evil of dysfunction. I grew up taking care of my mom, dad, and older sister—my LV dad can barely function for himself, my mom is mentally ill and insecure from years of his nonsense, and my sister was just old enough to be throwing herself into horrible toxic situations with men since I was in elementary school. I cooked for all them, helped my dad with his diabetes he doesn’t take care of, sat and listened to all their problems from like, ages…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 04:24 PM
8

I had an ex who (non-sexually) tried to choke me, and even though I told my most recent ex about it, every now and then he’d put his hands around my neck “as a joke.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 02:29 PM
45

Seems like most single fathers with daughters force their daughters to raise them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 02:04 PM
31

I worked freelance, and my ex had no job. Because he would just show up whenever (but would never let me do the same for him, of course), my work got super thrown off because if I had plans to work at night and he came over without telling me, I lost that work. I started waking up at 5 in the morning so I could try to get all my work done by the early afternoon, and because my boyfriend woke up at noon, we would hang out until 1-2 in the morning. A year of basically no sleep while I did everythi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 02:02 PM
38

Girl, I was confused why I was suddenly obsessed with Suga from BTS for the last 3 months of my relationship 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 07:07 PM
15

I love Sara Bareilles, but “1000 Times” and “Bright Lights and Cityscapes,” Ingrid Michaelson’s “Corner of Your Heart”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 04:24 PM
123

Re: the game story, any woman who becomes overly attached to a fictional character/celebrity when they’re in a relationship isn’t having their emotional needs met. Like, maybe if you weren’t treating your girlfriend like shit, she wouldn’t be projecting all her romantic energy on a distant male figure who won’t constantly hurt and disappoint her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 04:22 PM
4

Akey brakey hart
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 01:31 AM
61

As a PC gamer and a bit of nerd, you’re gonna lead with that, Clint? In your attempt to seduce a woman? The transition from ethically non monogamous to that I just 😚👌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 10:08 PM
44

Something I realized recently is that thinking I was asexual when I wasn’t made it super easy to dupe myself and ignore red flags. No, he’s not special because you’re finally sexually attracted someone lol, you’re really just horny
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 09:47 PM
37

I came to comment the exact same thing 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 08:12 PM
203

I identified as asexual until I met my last ex, but after this past relationship, I have a pretty good idea of what the pattern is. I’ve noticed that my sex drive is really high during the lovebombing period, but once the abuse starts, it’s upsetting, I get turned off very quickly, and as the relationship goes on I’m convinced I just don’t like sex. Took me all this time to realize that only wanting to have sex with a loving partner and being sex-repulsed because of abuse is different than being…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 08:09 PM
4

I’m a chronic over-communicator too, and in the past have pretty much laid every single thing about me out on the table right from the start because I thought I was being upfront and honest; obviously didn’t work out great for me lol. I think I kind of swing the opposite way in terms of what I’d like out of a relationship? I’d like to be able to talk (reasonably) openly with my partner about what’s going on and to be able to rely (not depend!) on them emotionally when things are difficult. Emoti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 03:16 PM
7

I think kind of the vein I was confused about is things like, say, talking about a bad day at work or maybe a difficult decision you’ve been struggling with? The kind of stuff you’d talk about with your friends, not anything insanely vulnerable like family troubles, trauma, etc. After you’re exclusive, the relationship is established; I know we’re always vetting, but at a point where you’re comfortable and this stuff feels natural?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 05:17 AM
14

Is being able to be emotionally vulnerable or discuss personal issues with a partner something not condoned in FDS, even when you’re exclusive and long term? Obviously not to the level of being a therapist, but the idea of opening up to each other and talking about things that are bothering each other in a healthy way is something that I always wanted in a relationship. Is this something I need to give up entirely?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 03:12 AM
47

I wear a US K cup! I honestly do my best to minimize their size/don’t show off cleavage because when I do men just like...don’t look at my face. They don’t. And even if I hide them well enough, when we start dating and men see them, they don’t even care about the sagging because the novelty of being with a woman with giant boobs is so delightful, that it becomes all they see me as. I am just big boobs to them lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 12:47 AM
30

My NV ex knew I was absolutely in love with Victorian flower meanings, I constantly talked about it and showed him the book I was reading, and of course, always the cheapest flowers, no thought into what I might like every time—and only when I was upset of course. To me, it’s insane? Like, if I’ve been friends with someone for even a few months, I could easily plan a great date for them and a thoughtful present that ~they~ would like. It’s not even hard. The lack of effort in NVM/LVM is astoundi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 12:35 AM
17

Randy? The point there, uh...well, I think you missed it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 04:54 PM
21

This is wonderful, I wish I had an award. I’m sure there are lots of us that needed to hear this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 03:00 AM
10

Yeah, exactly. I’m thinking she’s just trying to rationalize it and show how she was a liiiittle weirded out at first, but look babe, she’s fine with it! She’s so fine with it that she made a show about it because she’s so fine with. Look babe, I made a funny show about how funny your sex doll is, hahaha! Haha. Babe, I love you, I’m cool with it, it’s fine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 02:09 AM
25

Even worse: wasn’t that show written by the ~partner~ (pretty sure not married) of the Rick and Morty (yuck) creator who was accused of sexually harassing an employee? She wrote it after the real life experience of discovering hiiiiiis sex doll, this is show is based on ~real experiences~
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 01:50 AM
8

Really love this comment! Wonderful way of framing value and now I want to drink hot chocolate and go sledding and reread A Christmas Carol and it’s not even Thanksgiving
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 01:46 AM
2

I don’t know much about it, but I’ve heard trauma bonding mentioned on a few different subs and it seems like a lot of that and the lovebombing very early on instead of real love. It’s been the opposite way for me; I’m blocked on everything and he wouldn’t respond to any of my attempts to contact him (I didn’t want him back, I wanted him to take the fish and fish tank he insisted on getting a week before he left me). I don’t think he’ll ever talk to me again, he’s a big “my ex is crazy” guy, and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 01:14 PM
6

Thank you, this really helped. That’s pretty much what my boyfriend implied when he dumped me, he kept saying all I ever did was yell at him, and when I tried to talk he’d cut me off yelling “stop yelling at me!” I’ve been having such a hard time coping, I was so off balance with everything that I had to spend a week in the hospital when it happened a month ago. I’m really angry sometimes, I miss him sometimes, I know he’s awful (I think lol?), but I loved him so much. I totally agree with what …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 02:50 AM
7

I haven’t actually considered whether or not my ex was a narcissist but mine broke up with ~me~ for the same reason? When I’d bring things up with him (like paying attention to me, dates, etc.), he’d break down into these tantrums where he’d say it’s all his fault and that I hate him and he’d make me comfort him. Close to when we actually broke up he even pushed me when he was like that. It’s been really hard to process everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 01:28 AM
7

Yes, absolutely! I’ve never been in a relationship with a man where I wasn’t abused, and don’t have any healthy relationships around me. I can’t really understand what kind of behavior is even normal, the green flag and how to high value posts are very helpful!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 01:23 AM
22

The phrase “meet a few women” in his reply was the dead give away lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 01:04 AM
5

In a way it’s nice to hear it’s common, I felt crazy. It was early in our relationship and he had been so insistent that he loved me so much from very early on, so all my (pickme) friends thought he’d be understanding and that the “staying together is the priority” was proof of how much he loves me and not him manipulating me into buying more video games for him and having an abortion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 12:44 AM
26

Yeah, I mentioned this on a previous post, this is why my LVM ex broke up with me! He was horrible at getting gifts (either forgetting or getting horrible ones) to the point where it was upsetting me a lot and I had to keep bringing it up with him. Got the good ol’ “all you do is yell at me/we’re not compatible/relationships don’t need work” axe. He proved this was bullshit, because along with the ever prevalent “That’s not my love language, I don’t understand it” spiel, depending on the day, he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 04:59 PM
31

It’s most definitely a truck part photoshoot
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 02:47 AM
67

This is exactly what I aspire to if I ever start dating again 🙌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 01:01 AM
7

No no lol, definitely a joke, but I did say that exact thing word for word many times in my last relationship 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 07:20 PM
93

My ex and I had a talk about what would happen if I got pregnant before he took my virginity, and he insisted that he would want to keep it and he loved me. Cue sex happening, no foreplay for me, jackhammering, condom breaks. In the car on the way to Walgreens to get Plan B, I’m told I have to get an abortion. He won’t discuss it. When I later say that I’d rather leave him and keep the baby, he freaks and says the priority to him is staying together at all costs, but also, will not listen to me …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 06:31 PM
164

For me it was the naive hope that if I indulged his hobbies and showered him with love and treated him the best I could, he would do the same for me (he didn’t).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 06:17 PM
14

Yeah, it’s not the fact that he’s saying he’s relaxed specifically, but I think more so the fact that he’s trying to “show not tell” a specific aspect of his personality, especially in a situation where it’s completely unnecessary? In any of those situations he could have just said “Yeah, that’s totally fine! Don’t worry about it :)” rather than making it about himself. Emotional insecurity/making it about himself is a good way to put it. I don’t think that means he’s absolutely an angry serial …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 03:22 PM
38

It was me lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 11:11 PM
33

When I was in the 4th grade, we had a sweet, very young teacher (early 20’s) who was a little chubby and curvy, and the boys used to look up her shirt and talk about her boobs. These were 9 year olds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 01:24 PM
43

You and me both girl, I usually keep my hair too short for full ponytails that keep my hair off my neck. Pigtails are practical! Don’t let men take this away from us! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 12:47 PM
22

I’ve been trying to explain the concept to my sweet and wonderful but deeply pickme sister who’s been married to her LVM Lite husband since 19. At first her response was just “what about cOmMuniCaTiOn? what about cOmpRomiSe?” but as I was talking about my personal struggles with trying to implement the principles, like finding what becoming high value looks like for me and more importantly what healthy boundaries are, she was really empathetic and we had a good talk about how our parents never t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 12:07 AM
68

I really love announcer Do Kyung-wan and Jang Yoon-jeong from the Return of Superman! When I first discovered FDS, he was the first example of an HVM I thought of. He does almost all of the cooking, cleaning, and child rearing so she can focus on her career, and he’s just so open, loving, constantly showers her with cheesy jokes, presents, and physical affection. Not to mention, their son takes after him; he loves and respects his mother, helps around the house, and takes care of his little sist…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 08:19 PM
228

Debbie Reynolds and Elizabeth Taylor laughing about what a pile of garbage Eddie Fisher was in their old age really is Everything though lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 04:22 PM
37

I was just going to comment this! This is actually the reason that was given for why I was dumped lol. My ex was super obnoxious about saying I love you, but I’d indulge him and always say it back when he said it barring being extremely upset or something. Something I noticed is that he was ~only~ showing “love” in that way, while I was carefully showing love in all four without being asked. Eventually he got sick of me “yelling” at him to do one basic thing for me, that I explained 500 times, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 12:36 PM
7

I thought that art style looked familiar! I’ve heard such good things, do you guys recommend???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 05:59 AM
17

Now we gotta ask about the background image though lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 04:53 AM
20

Re: rent (post-marriage, obviously), what is the FDS stance surrounding a “fair” split?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 04:01 PM
9

Yeah, I hadn’t discovered FDS yet, but after my previous ex before him, I had totally given up with dating until I met someone who treated me how I wanted to be treated, and had come to terms with the fact that I might die alone and put all my energy into my work and was feeling great. I didn’t do anything in terms of learning red flags and establishing boundaries, though, so when I was aggressively lovebombed by my recent ex I thought I ~finally found it~. Hard not to be too angry at myself for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 02:00 PM
4

Social media I think?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 01:24 PM
17

My ex was a big gamer, and when he wanted something new, he would never stop talking about it and he’d bring every conversation back around to it. Next time we went to the store I’d offer to buy it for him and he’d pull the “Oh??? Are you sure??? You reeeeaaaally don’t have to babe, it’s okay” This is a guy who never paid for a single date and “forgot” to get me a Christmas present that he made me pick out. My least favorite and the most transparent thing for me is that when I was sick or sad, h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 01:00 PM
129

The amount of times he said “I” in that, jesus
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 12:46 PM
1

Yeah, I get it, I woulda probably picked my dogs over him too lol (and honestly his dog too), it was more the fact that he was pointedly saying it when I asked for something unrelated to his dog, and he just like, kept going about it. Not the principle of the sentiment, the way he was using it actuality 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 12:30 PM
10

I took stock of any kind of appearance management I was doing or not doing and feeling guilty about, and asked myself 1. Do I like the result of doing this? Does it make me feel good (not “pretty”)? and 2. Do I enjoy doing this thing separate of the result? For me, doing makeup stays because it’s a one and a two. I love the result of it, it feels nice to play and be creative, and I find actually doing it really relaxing and an important part of self care for me. Nail polish is just a 2 (the resu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 12:23 PM
5

When he was reeeeeally upset, he’d feed them to me all at once like that and just wait for one to stick 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 03:13 AM
7

One time I was raised to right below his dog, which in theory is brilliant on his end, because like, am I gonna say something bad about his dog? He really checkmated me there. Me and you girl, less than a dog and sofa 😢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 02:03 AM
19

“Initially”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 12:56 AM
27

One of my favorite FDS nuggets so far is that abusive men don’t change because the abuse gets them exactly what they want. The scrotes are sweating because women are trying to protect each other from them and they won’t get to worm their way into our hearts (i.e. our wallets, homes, and vaginas)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 07:01 PM
27

The fact that something as simple as “some people are bad and here’s some signs to look out for” renders them speechless? Hmm don’t know what to say
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 06:46 PM
77

“Hm, don’t know what to say...” ?¿?¿?¿? I think most people, even people who do those red flags, could read that list and be like, “Yeah, those are crappy things.” What are you contemplating here, buddy? What is making you conflicted?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 06:31 PM
70

Ah, we dated the same guy haha, except mine was living with his parents and ~didn’t~ have a job. I loved his wide-ranging excuses for why he refused to go on dates or get me any presents. “I don’t have enough money,” “I want to get you something but nothing is ever good enough,” “I’m not creative enough to think of anything,” “I think it’s just silly,” “I don’t believe in gifts, I don’t need gifts to know you love me [while begging for video games],” “you’re just better at that kind of thing,” “…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 04:19 PM
40

Masters in engineering? You deserve a prince, you’re an incredibly hard working, incredibly brilliant woman. Be as picky as humanly possible. I have what I call the “high school rule”—if I couldn’t have reasonably dated a person with this age difference in high school, they’re too old or young. For me that’s 4 years max older, and 2 years max younger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 03:35 PM
61

If he wanted to he would! It always stuns me that people think being busy is an excuse. The way I’ve internalized a lot of FDS messaging for when I start dating again is that I could offer these kinds of things freely without being asked, time, consideration, affection, money, so if a prospective partner isn’t, he just doesn’t want to. Like you said, you were able to still be a good partner even when dealing with not only a busy job but an emotionally draining and stressful one, too. Absolutely …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 02:40 PM
105

Oof, my ex used to openly list his priorities and put me after all his friends, family, pets, etc. He’d double back when I’d make it clear that I didn’t want to be in a relationship where I’m number 10 on his list and he’s number 1 on mine, but when I stayed, funny that he chose everyone above me on that list anytime he had to make a choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 02:26 PM
20

I saw the top of the page but I didn’t know if it was a chapter title or a book title hehe. I’ll check it out, it seems great! 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 02:24 PM
9

Happy birthday! You deserve gorgeous flowers and lots of love from yourself 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 02:17 PM
34

Ooh, what book is this??? I’m intrigued
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 02:15 PM
18

I actually have OCD, but typically when I’m in a healthy environment and taking care of myself, I can manage it really really easily. My ex knew about it, and also my relative inexperience, and anytime I came to him with “concerns” (usually just like, basic human decency things like please don’t make mean jokes about me, please actually get me gifts for gift giving holidays, please don’t say disgusting things about women, etc.) he would cite “examples” of how those things are normal, actually, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 02:05 PM
1

I see what you did there 👀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 12:25 AM
7

May FDS set us free to find a man who eats his vegetables and washes his face 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 04:51 PM
11

Even worse, he would pick at his mac n cheese, he’d only eat a little, and then he’d eat an entire full size candy bar later. Even when I was blindly stupidly in love I called him a trash gremlin for his horrible eating habits 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 03:59 AM
13

I asked him to make me scrambled eggs when I was really sick he was like, “Sorry...I don’t know how...” and I just ?¿?¿? and explained how, and he was like, “Can you just show me...so I know for next time...”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 03:57 AM
7

Me too! Commenting because I’d like to hear what other people think
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 03:29 AM
2

I love Jennie’s and Lisa’s parts, when I first read the translation I was like, are these rap parts for the same song lol???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 01:14 PM
5

I think you’re hyper focused on these statistics, no matter how much the ladies in the comments try to reassure you, the small chances are scaring you. I know you allowed for miscalculation, variation, etc. but these calculations are not real life, you’re exacerbating your concerns by dwelling on them, trying to figure out what the exact possibility of meeting your guy is, etc. What’s the element of this that is bothering you the most? That you might never meet anyone? Are you burnt out on datin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 05:41 AM
6

For better or for worse, you’ll definitely meet a lot more than 3 men for the rest of your life lol. I know the stats seem bleak, but people are more complicated than online statistics, so you’ll never know what the real likelihood would be. Also, even with the small percentages, these are all related to your values, so this small subset of men will be more accessible to you than say, the larger percentage of very religious, far right dads who don’t work out haha. It can feel overwhelming how aw…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 05:05 AM
22

I love the song a lot, but most of the korean sections are very not FDS friendly unfortunately! “But I don’t care, I’ll do it over and over/I just need you in my life,” “We are the lovesick girls, I’m nothing without this pain,” “You’re all I need even if it hurts,” “Can’t hear what you say, I’m happy with this pain,” etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 04:19 AM
1

I forgot to throw in EXID’s Me and You and L. I. E., too! I knew I was forgetting a few that I had been listening to a lot haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 03:11 AM
11

I’ve been enjoying some HV k-pop songs recently! Apink’s Be Myself and Jimin Park’s Count You Out are really great HV breakup songs, and I really recommend a lot of 2NE1 songs as well!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 02:30 AM
2

In a positive spin, it’s not statistically impossible!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 02:25 AM
34

I think it’s important to take into account that a lot of these are things that kind of overlap? Atheism/being non-religious tends to be the norm for far left leaning people, and being atheist/far left leaning therefore leads you to not want kids, because you aren’t into traditionalism. All of my guy friends fit those three requirements, some all 4, but are they HVM? Hard nope lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 12:52 AM
50

My ex’s mom (he’s 23) made him special meals every night because he doesn’t like eating vegetables, so her baby got mac n cheese while the adults ate real food lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 10:51 PM
1

I’ve never ever not once been compelled to point out a man I have found attractive to my partner, because I know that would hurt them. The only time I’ve tried this? When I’m lashing out about my boyfriends constantly comparing me to other women over and over and over again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 06:21 PM
2

I’ve been frustrated by this too! Since my breakup, I’m realizing how flaky my friends are lol. Even though they know I’m going through a hard time (had to spend a week in the hospital), not a single one of them has reached out on their own to ask how I’m doing? If they text me, it’s because they want to talk about their own stuff. Idk, if my friend was in such a bad place they were hospitalized, I would check in every day???? This seems like no brained behavior???? It feels really tough re: pan…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 12:13 AM
3

That’s what my first therapist said her dream relationship was! He buys the house next door and she keeps her personal space and everything she loves all to herself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 12:08 AM
5

I work as a freelancer in the video game industry, and every single one of our “dates” was either me watching him play video games or playing them with him, and my ex literally had the audacity to say, “You don’t play as many video games as I thought you did.” First of all, you don’t even have a job and you don’t wash your face, and second of all, you’re eating into my video game time by making me make you dinner and watch you play Hearthstone for 8 hours, you literal waste of human air. He wasn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 11:42 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter